Notes from the Edge
Notes From the Edge is where polished stories end and the truth begins. Hosted by writer, trauma educator, executive advisor, and author Lisa Lacy, this globally ranked podcast explores survival, identity, trauma, addiction, recovery, leadership, relationships, and reinvention through raw, deeply human conversations. No scripts. No small talk. Just the stories we were taught to hide, the roles we performed to survive, and the truths that set us free. What did you perform in order to survive? Welcome to the edge. www.lisalacy.com
Episodes
The Last Rocketman: Fear Is Information Not Instruction with Dan Schlund
What happens when the thing that made you feel most alive nearly kills you?“Rocketman” Dan Schlund is one of the last professionally trained Rocketbelt pilots in the world. For a decade, he flew jet packs at events across 25 countries and six continents, performing hundreds of flights without a parachute and with only seconds of fuel strapped to his back.But Dan’s most extraordinary story began af
When Your Diagnosis Enters the Room Before You Do
Psychiatric labels, medical dismissal, and what happens when a human being becomes paperworkWhat happens when a provider sees your psychiatric history before they truly see you?In this deeply personal solo episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy explores the dangerous gap between being treated as a medically complex human being and being reduced to “the psychiatric patient.”Drawing from her live
What the Hell is Love?
What happens when you grow up without hearing “I love you,” without being held, and without learning what safe, enduring affection feels like?In this deeply personal solo episode of Midnight Menopausal Meanderings, I explore the difference between loving someone and knowing how to experience love.My parents never told me they loved me. My father wrote the words in letters I would not open until de
The Competence Trap with Loren Silverman
Burnout, Boundaries, and Why the Most Capable Person in the Room May Be Closest to the EdgeWhat happens when competence becomes a survival strategy?In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with life coach and former technology leader Loren Silverman for an honest conversation about burnout, overthinking, boundaries, self-abandonment, and the hidden cost of always being the capab
Before the First Hit with Dave Kopeny
How Parents Can Recognize Risk, Interrupt Addiction, and Become Their Child’s Strongest Protective ForceEvery parent wants to believe their child will know how to recognize danger, make the right decision, and walk away when drugs enter the picture.But today’s drug landscape is more accessible, potent, and aggressively marketed than many families realize. By the time a parent knows something is wr
Who Got You Here Won't Get You There
Jim Hughes on Identity, Fear, Self-Judgment, and Becoming the Person Beneath the PerformanceThe person who got you here may have been exactly who you needed to become.The achiever. The problem-solver. The founder who never stops moving. The leader who learned how to carry the pressure, meet the expectations, and become whatever the moment required.But what happens when that identity begins keeping
When Leadership Stops Developing People with Dr. Katie Trowbridge
Curiosity, Compliance, and Teams That Think.Why do capable, intelligent teams stop taking initiative?Sometimes it is not because people are lazy, disengaged, or unwilling to contribute. Sometimes they have learned that following directions is safer than asking questions, challenging assumptions, or offering an original idea.In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with Dr. Katie
When Compassion Is Not Enough
What happens when someone you love is in crisis, refuses help, and waiting for them to become “ready” may cost them their life?In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with attorney, former prosecutor, and family crisis advocate Mark Astor for a necessary and deeply human conversation about addiction, severe mental illness, involuntary treatment, family trauma, and the difficult
The Confidence Beneath the Craving
Addiction, Bipolar Disorder, and Rebuilding a Life with the S.O.B.E.R. MethodWhat happens when you remove the substance, but the pain, pressure, and survival patterns underneath it remain?In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with author, entrepreneur, podcast host, and addiction recovery advocate Massimo Rigotti for an honest conversation about addiction, bipolar disorder, g
THE MONSTERS WE CARRY
Richard Spegal on Dark Fantasy, Mental Health, and the Battles WithinAuthor Richard Spegal returns to Notes From the Edge for a deeper conversation about the profoundly human truths hiding inside dark fantasy.Richard creates supernatural worlds filled with danger, moral complexity, and characters who are anything but one-dimensional. Beneath the monsters, battles, curses, and impossible choices ar
Living With an Invisible Illness: The Unbearable Fear and Loneliness
In this deeply personal solo episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy records at 3 a.m., during the hour when the world grows quiet and every unfamiliar sensation in the body becomes impossible to ignore.Lisa lives with hereditary antithrombin deficiency, a rare congenital blood disorder that allows her blood to clot even while she is taking medication designed to prevent it. After surviving mult
The Call That Cannot Go Unanswered
Recovery, AI, and the Human Cost of a Missed Moment in Addiction TreatmentWhat happens when someone finally finds the courage to ask for help, calls a treatment center, and no one answers?To an organization, it may look like a missed call or a dead lead. But on the other end of that phone is a human being standing inside a brief and potentially life-changing moment of willingness.In this episode o
Mother of 6 Found Slain: For Cletha
On August 9, 1969, while the world’s attention turned toward the Manson murders across town, another woman was killed on what society considered the wrong side of Los Angeles.Her name was Cletha, and she was my grandmother.She was a poor mother of six whose injuries left her face unrecognizable, yet her death was recorded as natural causes. The man responsible never faced a courtroom. There was no
When Survival Becomes an Identity
Childhood Trauma, Self-Destruction, and Reclaiming the Person Beneath the PerformanceContent note: This episode includes discussion of childhood sexual abuse, suicide attempts, addiction patterns, abusive relationships, and trauma recovery. Please listen with care.What happens when the version of you that learned how to survive becomes the identity you no longer know how to remove?From the outside
Menopause, Insomnia, and the Disappearing Bullshit Filter
The dogs woke me up. Menopause made sure I stayed awake. And suddenly my nervous system was hosting a 3:00 a.m. board meeting about every decision I have made since 1997.In this episode of Midnight Menopausal Meanderings, we are talking about the biology behind menopause-related insomnia, including hormonal changes, temperature dysregulation, nervous-system activation, and why one small interrupti
When Love Becomes the Way Back to Yourself
What happens when the person you learned to abandon in order to survive is yourself?Many of us learned early how to stay quiet, become useful, keep the peace, earn approval, and make ourselves smaller so other people would remain comfortable. Those adaptations may have helped us survive childhood, but they can follow us into our relationships, our faith, our work, and the way we understand our own
The Stories Life Writes Through Us: Nursing, Hospice, Faith & Storytelling
What happens when a lifetime of caring for people, witnessing loss, raising a family, and navigating life’s hardest moments becomes the foundation for storytelling?Join me for a new live episode of Notes From the Edge with author, legal nurse consultant, hospice specialist, teacher, and multi-genre storyteller Nancy Jasin Ensley.Nancy has spent decades working in professions that require empathy,
When Skill Isn't Enough
What happens to the surgeon after a patient experiences a devastating complication?Clinicians are trained to make life-or-death decisions, perform under extraordinary pressure, and remain calm when everything is at stake. But they are rarely taught how to process the emotional aftermath when an outcome goes wrong.In this live episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with trauma and acut
The Miles We Run From Ourselves: Endurance, Anxiety, and What Lies Beyond Grit
How far will we push ourselves before we finally ask what we are running from?Marc Hopkins has completed the Bigfoot 200, eight Ironman-distance triathlons, and more than 200 endurance events. But the most difficult terrain he has ever crossed was the landscape inside himself.In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Marc joins Lisa Lacy for a raw conversation about the difference between true endur
Why Love Gets So Complicated
Why do relationships feel harder than ever, even when two people genuinely love each other?In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with relationship coach, author, speaker, and ordained minister Andre Paradis for an honest conversation about love, communication, commitment, intimacy, and the survival patterns we unknowingly carry into our relationships.Before becoming a relatio
High Performance Without Burnout: Building a Better Relationship with Time
We all get the same 24 hours.So why do some people feel purposeful while others feel overwhelmed?Join me for a live conversation with keynote speaker, author, and time strategy coach C.W. Hawley as we explore the hidden relationship between leadership, identity, and the way we experience time.Rather than offering another productivity system, C.W. challenges us to rethink the beliefs, habits, and e
The Human Cost of High Performance
What does success cost when the person carrying it is quietly breaking underneath it?In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with James Lang, Managing Partner and co-founder of OverLang Venture Partners, for a conversation about ambition, identity, leadership, medical crisis, and the human cost of high performance.Before launching OverLang, James served as COO of a MedTech star
When Survival Rewrites Morality
What happens when the future disappears?In this episode of Notes From the Edge, I’m joined by dystopian thriller author T.A. Thompson, creator of The Mark, to explore the fascinating intersection of survival, morality, power, and human nature.Through the lens of fiction, we’ll discuss why stories about collapse often reveal uncomfortable truths about ourselves. From morally complex characters and
Finding Meaning, Hope, and the Courage to Keep Talking About Suicide Loss.
What happens after a loss that changes your life forever?How do we talk about suicide, grief, and mental health in ways that bring healing instead of silence?Join me for a powerful live episode of Notes From the Edge as I sit down with author, nationally syndicated columnist, founder of The HelpHUB™, Trevor Project crisis counselor, and three-time suicide loss survivor Lisa Sugarman.Together we’ll
When a Vision Changes Everything: Consciousness and the Search for Meaning
What happens when one extraordinary experience changes the course of your entire life?In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with Australian visionary author Eugene Samolin to explore the intersection of spirituality, consciousness, creativity, and purpose. After a profound spiritual experience reshaped his understanding of reality, Eugene dedicated his life to writing stories
When High Achievement Becomes Survival
Success isn’t always a sign that we’re thriving.Sometimes it’s evidence of how well we’ve learned to survive.In this episode of Notes From the Edge, I’m joined by internationally recognized stress management expert, speaker, coach, and six-time Amazon #1 bestselling author Lolita Guarin for a conversation about burnout, nervous system health, boundaries, and the hidden cost of high achievement.Tog
You got screwed. Your brain may have gotten rewired.
If you’ve ever walked away from betrayal wondering, “What happened to me?” this episode is for you.Whether the betrayal came from a partner, family member, workplace, friendship, your health, or even life itself, chronic stress and betrayal don’t just break trust. They can change the way your brain processes safety, relationships, and decision-making.In this solo episode of Notes From the Edge, Li
What If Nothing Is Wrong With You? Understanding the Behaviors That Help Us Survive
What if the behaviors we judge the most are actually the ones that helped us survive?Join me for a powerful live episode of Notes From the Edge with Jessie Hannah, creator of Bare Becoming, as we explore the neuroscience behind body-focused repetitive behaviors (BFRBs), trichotillomania, shame, nervous system regulation, and the path from self-judgment to self-understanding.After hiding her hair-p
When Love Meets Survival: Healing Relationships After Trauma
What if the biggest challenges in our relationships aren’t about communication at all?What if they’re about survival?Join me for a live episode of Notes From the Edge with licensed marriage and family therapist Kayla Crane as we explore the hidden ways trauma, attachment, and past experiences shape the way we love, fight, trust, and connect.Together we’ll discuss:• Why communication alone doesn’t
Finding JOY in a World That Rewards Burnout
What if success isn’t the destination we’ve been taught it is?Join me live for an honest conversation with Ted Kopecko, #1 international bestselling author of Finding JOY… Journey of You, as we explore why so many accomplished professionals still feel burned out, disconnected, and unfulfilled despite doing everything “right.”After more than 30 years in business, architecture, entrepreneurship, and
Beyond Survival: Awakening Through Adversity
What if healing ourselves is the first step toward healing the world?Join me for a powerful live conversation with author, artist, environmental advocate, and longtime meditation and yoga practitioner TeZa Lord as we explore the connection between recovery, spirituality, resilience, and our relationship with the natural world.After overcoming addiction and transforming her own life, TeZa has dedic
When Healing Isn’t Enough: The Deeper Shift Beyond Insight
We’ve all heard the advice.Go to therapy.Journal.Meditate.Read the books.Do the inner work.But what happens when you’ve done all of that and something still feels stuck?Join me for a live conversation with Cheryl Stelte, bestselling author, speaker, and founder of the Azarias Energy Healing Certification Program, as we explore why awareness doesn’t always lead to transformation and what it takes t
Success Without Alignment: Why High Achievers Still Feel Empty
Can you build a successful business without losing yourself?Entrepreneur, speaker, and business strategist Gini Trask has spent decades helping companies grow into multi-million-dollar organizations. But behind every business challenge she encountered was something much deeper: people searching for purpose, alignment, and a way to succeed without sacrificing themselves.In this episode of Notes Fro
The Money Monster Within: Managing Yourself Before You Manage Your Money
Most financial advice focuses on budgets, investments, and strategies.But what if the biggest obstacle to financial freedom isn’t your bank account?What if it’s the unconscious story you’re living?Join me for Part II of my conversation with financial advisor, former Benedictine monk, TEDx speaker, and bestselling author Douglas Lynam as we take a deeper look into the psychology of money through th
When Everyone’s Brain Works Differently: Living with autism, ADHD, trauma, and mental illness under one roof… and learning that understanding matters more than being right.
What happens when everyone in the house experiences the world through a different nervous system?In this deeply personal episode of Midnight Menopausal Meanderings, Lisa Lacy explores the reality of loving people with neurodivergence, trauma histories, and mental health challenges while navigating your own. Sharing stories from her own family, Lisa discusses her daughter’s late autism diagnosis, h
The Mental Health Crisis Nobody Warned Women About | Menopause, Depression & the Hidden Risk of Suicide
What if the greatest mental health crisis facing midlife women isn’t happening because they’re “losing their minds”…What if it’s happening because we’ve stopped listening?In this solo episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy explores the overlooked intersection of menopause, depression, neuroscience, and women’s mental health. Drawing from current research and her own lived experience of surgical
The Patterns We Repeat: What Our Relationships Reveal About Ourselves
Why do so many of us find ourselves living the same story with different people?Why do painful relationship patterns continue long after we’ve left the original wounds behind?Join me for a powerful live conversation with healer, teacher, and author Ben Oofana, whose work bridges decades of study in Native American healing traditions, Taoist internal arts, meditation, and emotional transformation.T
Why Some Mental Health Diagnoses Become Identities and Some Become Prisons.
What if the diagnosis isn’t the whole story?In this live episode of Notes From the Edge, we’ll explore one of the most important conversations happening in psychology today.Why has ADHD become increasingly accepted in boardrooms, businesses, and everyday conversations while diagnoses like Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Complex PTSD continue to carry so much stigma?Together
When Stories Heal What Therapy Can’t with Justin Anderson
How Fiction Gives Voice to Invisible Wounds.What if the story that changes your life isn’t found in a psychology textbook… but in a fantasy novel?This week on Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with author and world-builder Justin Anderson to explore how fiction can become a bridge to healing for people who struggle to put their pain into words.Justin never intended to build a mythology arou
What the Horse Saw Before I Did with Maria Alessandri
How Our Relationships Reveal the Parts of Ourselves We’ve Never Examined.More than twenty years ago, Maria adopted a rescue horse believing she was there to train him. Instead, the horse transformed the way she understood communication, leadership, parenting, boundaries, and human relationships.This conversation isn’t about horses. It’s about the hidden ways we communicate, the blind spots we all
The Wealth We Can’t Spend
From Marine to Monk to Money Manager: What Money Is Really Trying to Teach Us.Money is one of the most emotionally charged languages we speak, yet few of us were ever taught how to understand it.In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with Douglas Lynam, whose extraordinary journey spans Marine Corps Officer Candidate School, twenty years as a Benedictine monk, and a career as
A New Kind of Depression in Menopause: When Your Hormones Change, Your Brain Changes Too
What if the sadness you’re carrying isn’t simply emotional?What if your brain is trying to adapt to one of the biggest neurological transitions of your life?Millions of women enter perimenopause and menopause believing they’re losing themselves. Motivation disappears. Anxiety gets louder. Depression returns after years of stability. Relationships suffer. Careers become harder. Many begin wondering
Who Are You When the Identity That Defined You No Longer Exists?
What happens when the identity you’ve built your entire life around suddenly disappears?After multiple combat deployments as an Air Force Explosive Ordnance Disposal technician, Benjamin J. Lee came home carrying invisible wounds that led to addiction, depression, and one life-altering question:Who am I without the uniform?In this powerful episode of Notes From the Edge, host Lisa Lacy sits down w
Understanding Chronic Suicidal Thoughts: A Conversation About Hope, Healing, and Mental Health
What if thoughts of suicide aren’t always a desire to die, but a signal that something inside desperately needs to change?In one of the most important conversations we’ve had on Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with Harold Walter Azmann, Founder and CEO of the World Mental Health Forum, for a compassionate discussion about chronic suicidal thoughts, depression, suffering, hope, and what it
Maybe Success Was Never the Goal
What If Satisfaction Is the Thing You’ve Been Chasing All Along? What if the thing you’ve been chasing your entire life… was never the thing you actually needed?In this episode of Lessons for Lisa: Notes to My Future Self, a reflective series under the Notes From the Edge podcast, I explore a question that caught me completely off guard:If success doesn’t guarantee peace… what have I actually been
When You Remember You’re Made of Stardust
How Looking at the Universe Can Shrink Even Our Biggest ProblemsWhat happens when you stop looking at your life through the lens of your problems… and start looking at it through the lens of the universe?In this episode of Midnight Menopausal Meanderings, I’m reflecting on a conversation that reminded me of something I’d forgotten.We’re not just people trying to survive another Monday.We are energ
When Your Body Becomes A Stranger
What happens when the body you’ve lived in for 50 years suddenly doesn’t feel like home?This isn’t just a conversation about menopause. It’s a conversation about identity.In this deeply personal solo episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy explores the grief of watching your body change, the unexpected humor that helps us survive it, and the profound psychological shift that happens when you no
The Hidden Cost of Keeping Score
Lessons for Lisa: Notes to My Future Self is a reflective solo series under the Notes From the Edge podcast umbrella.These aren’t lectures.They aren’t polished TED Talks.They’re honest conversations with the woman I’m still becoming.Each episode is a letter to my future self, exploring the lessons I’m learning in real time about healing, identity, recovery, relationships, resilience, and what it m
Midnight Menopausal Meanderings: It was Never about the Biscuits & Gravy
Welcome to the first episode of Midnight Menopausal Meanderings, a new recurring series under the Notes From the Edge umbrella.This series is where the polished masks come off. It’s part storytelling, part philosophy, part neuroscience, part marriage counseling you didn’t ask for, and occasionally… it starts with something as ridiculous as biscuits and gravy. In this deeply personal solo episode o
The Biology of Trust After Betrayal
Why is it so hard to trust again after betrayal, even when you know the danger has passed?In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy explores the biology of betrayal and why healing is about so much more than “letting it go.”Together, we’ll explore:• Why trust is a biological prediction, not just an emotion• What happens inside the brain and body after betrayal• Why attachment and fear can
The Courage to Be Seen: What Healing Really Asks of Us
What if healing isn’t about becoming someone new?What if it’s about having the courage to finally tell yourself the truth?In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with counselor Teddy Engels for a thoughtful conversation about self-awareness, personal responsibility, and the questions that shape our lives. Together they explore what it means to know yourself without judgment, wh
The Masks We Wear: Identity, Narcissism & What We Perform to Survive
Welcome to another episode of Notes From the Edge.In this unscripted solo conversation, Lisa Lacy explores the masks we wear to survive and the identities we often mistake for who we really are.From mom guilt and relationships to the growing misuse of the term “narcissist,” Lisa challenges listeners to look beneath the labels and ask deeper questions. Why do we perform certain roles? What happens
What Men Don’t Say: Breaking the Trauma Bond Cycle
Why do so many intelligent, capable people stay trapped in relationships that continue to hurt them?In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with Steve Barton to explore trauma bonds through the often-overlooked male perspective. Together, they unpack how childhood conditioning, identity, fear, shame, and the need to earn love can keep people locked in unhealthy relationship pat
Truth in the Shadows: Mental Health, Identity & the Stories We Tell Ourselves
Some of the most important conversations happen in the gray areas.In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa Lacy sits down with author and former military officer Richard Spegal for an honest conversation about leadership, identity, creativity, mental health, and the stories we build around ourselves to survive.Richard shares his journey from serving in the military to becoming an award-winning
The Sanctuary Bond: How to Build a Relationship That Feels Safe, Strong, and Lasting.
What do you do when life gives you a second chance?In this powerful episode of Notes From the Edge, I sit down with Gaylen Wilson, heart transplant survivor, relationship coach, author, and founder of The Monument Method Institute. Gaylen’s story is one of extraordinary reinvention. From farm failure and alcoholism to career collapse, heart failure, and ultimately receiving a life-saving heart tra
The Game of Ten: Moving Beyond Fear, Self-Doubt, and Shame
What if the biggest obstacle to your success isn’t a lack of skill, knowledge, or opportunity but the invisible fears running beneath the surface?In this thought-provoking conversation, Lisa sits down with executive coach, author, and creator of The Game of Ten®, Steve Barton. Drawing from nearly five decades of business and leadership experience, Steve shares a powerful framework for helping high
Are You Performing Your Sex Life?
What happens when performance follows us into the most intimate parts of our lives?In this powerful conversation, Lisa Lacy sits down with relationship and embodiment coach Tracy Allyn to explore performative sex, disconnection from the body, and the hidden ways survival strategies shape our relationships, leadership, creativity, and sense of self.Together, they discuss the difference between perf
The Art of Saying No: Why Women Were Never Taught This Skill
Why is saying no so hard?For many women, it isn’t a communication problem. It’s a survival strategy.In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa explores the psychology of people pleasing, the conditioning that teaches women to prioritize everyone else’s comfort over their own, and the hidden costs of a life built around approval, usefulness, and performance.Together, we’ll unpack why boundaries c
“I’m Fine”: The Hidden Cost of High-Functioning Survival
She has the career.The responsibilities.The accomplishments.The smile.Everyone thinks she’s doing fine.But what if competence has become camouflage?In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa explores the hidden world of high-functioning survival, the adaptations, identities, and performances that help people survive difficult circumstances while quietly disconnecting them from themselves.Drawing
Good Girl Conditioning: Survival or Personality?
Were you taught to be kind… or taught to disappear?In this episode of Notes From the Edge, Lisa explores Good Girl Conditioning through the lens of survival, adaptation, and identity. What happens when being agreeable, helpful, accommodating, and responsible stops being a choice and becomes a performance?From people-pleasing and perfectionism to high-functioning survival, this episode examines the
When the Label becomes the Cage
What happens when a diagnosis, label, role, or identity becomes the lens through which you see your entire life?In this episode, Lisa explores the hidden cost of attaching ourselves to labels and why many of the things we call personality may have begun as survival adaptations.The question isn’t whether a label is accurate.The question is whether it still serves you.www.lisalacy.com
What Did You Perform in Order to Survive?
Welcome to the first episode of Notes From the Edge.I’m Lisa Lacy, writer, trauma educator, executive advisor, author of the upcoming memoir Notes From a Certified Madwoman, and its field guide companion, The Psychology of Performing™.In this opening episode, I share why this podcast exists, the question that changed my life, and the conversations we’ll be having here. Together, we’ll explore high
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