HER Dating & Relationship Secrets
A podcast offering daily advice for women on dating and relationships. It focuses on helping successful women attract and maintain healthy partnerships. Each episode provides actionable tips to improve romantic connections. The host encourages listeners to subscribe and engage with the show.
Episodes
Age
Is Age important in dating and relationships? Barry pulls back the curtain on how it is not the age but the stage that matters. He gives three examples of how different stages can mean different priorities and values. He shows how your age and a partner’s age do and don’t matter. Listen up!
Communicating Your Needs
Barry describes the three steps to communicating your needs: Identify, Give Yourself Permission, then Use the ‘I-We-You’ template to communicate them. You deserve to have your needs met and to express them with ease!
Do I Block My Ex On Social Media?
Barry discuss the decision of whether to block an ex on social media. We explore factors like length of relationship, social and professional context, whether it’s emotionally healthy to be connected, and how to assess what you really need here.
A New Start
Barry talks about making a new start: how this is possible for single people to break old dating patterns, and for people in relationships looking for their relationship to improve or possibly end — a new start can mean many things. Barry covers how to renew your dating and relationships bu making a new start and showing up differently today!
Creating Connection
Barry describes all the ways to create connection. He goes through the various types of connection with self, and others, sharing lots of ideas to use for feeling more connected and loved.
Conditional & Unconditional Love
In this powerful, deep episode Barry walks us through “Conditional & Unconditional Love”! He explains the difference, starting with our childhood and parents, then describes how this shows up in dating and relationships for us as adults. He shares a path for realistic love that is accepting and meets our needs!
Hidden Fear (That Must Be Identified & Released)
In “Hidden Fear (That Must Be Identified & Released)” Barry shows how our hidden fears disguise themselves and destroy dating and relationships — he teaches how to identify forms of hidden fear and gives multiple examples of how it shows up when meeting, dating amd in long term relationships with people.
Smart People Have More Challenges With Dating & Relationships
Barry explains why the smarter you are, the harder dating and relationships can be. He gives two examples and an approach to moving from our head to our heart.
Do You Change Yourself To Get Love?
Do You Change Yourself For Love?
Cuddling & Being Held
Barry describes the hormonal effect of cuddling and being held through oxytocin, it’s impact on creating a healthy relationship, and how single people and people in relationships can maximize cuddling and being held. He also mentions the main blocks and wounds that get in the way of having lots of cuddling and being held.
Parents (How They Affect Your Relationships Today)
In “Parents (How They Affect Your Relationships Today)”, Barry explains the power of the parent-child relationship on our dating and relationship pattern. He covers the origin and mechanisms if how we inherit those patterns and beliefs and gives several actionable exercises to become aware of your parents’ effect on you and how to handle it!
Feeling Free in Dating & Relationships
Barry details how to feel free while dating or in a relationship — how to untether yourself from worrying or being restricted by other people’s opinions, judgement or reactions. How to worry less, stress less, and be carefree and yourself!
Completing Conversations
Barry explains how most relationship and dating problems start as small, incomplete conversations and how to have a complete conversation!
Focus Determines The Quality Of Your Dating & Relationships
In “Focus Determines The Quality Of Your Dating & Relationships” Barry shares the three arenas of focus: self talk, meeting and dating, and partnership. He shares how to focus more on what is positive and right than what’s negative and wrong, while still staying in reality.
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
What Do You Need In A Relationship?
Barry explains how knowing what you need in a relationship drives your relationship pattern. It begins with your met and unmet needs as a child, in your parents’ template, and continues into adulthood. He shares how we often have one top need we are conscious of, but a different subconscious need — which leads to partners and relationships that aren’t what we want them to be. Barry explains how to
How A Man’s Relationship With His Mother Affects Your Relationship With Him
Barry describes “How A Man’s Relationship With His Mother Affects Your Relationship With Him”. He walks through Mother-Son relationship dynamics that can impact his relationship with you. Barry shares two valuable questions to consider about his Mom and the relationship blueprint he learned. Plus, a key thing to look at to decide if he is healthy or toxic.
Self-Worth and Healthy Relationships - I am Worthy of Love!
Self-Worth and Healthy Relationships - I am Worthy of Love!
The Power of Choice
Barry describes how empowered dating & relationships depend on the power of choice, backed by action. He gives examples in dating and relationships of how past choices and subconscious choices affect our relationships, and of how making a powerful choice looks: choosing to let go of what we had previously been choosing, and taking an action to implement that choice. This is a key episode and conce
Give Yourself A Break Today!
It’s SO important to have a break from our driven, busy lives! Barry describes how giving yourself a FULL day off of tasks and emotional responsibility and worrying is important and restorative! Single people beed this space to re-fill their own cup, and attract a healthy partner. Those in relationships need it to find space for re-connection with each other! It is so healing amd energizing — list
Lack of Love
We all need love. Barry Talks about the various forms of love we need early in life, and throughout our life. He gives examples of lack of love and it’s impact on us. He then shares a simple exercise to increase the love in your life. If you want and need more love, this episode is for you.
More FUN, Less Anxiety In Dating & Relationships
Barry describes why it’s important to have “More FUN, Less Anxiety In Dating & Relationships”! He gives examples of how attachment and outcomes add stress, and how to create “mini-games” to make meeting, dating and being in a relationship with someone much more fun!
Avoiding Uncomfortable Conversations
Barry talks about how “Avoiding Uncomfortable Conversations” causes big problems, why you’ll do it anyway, and how to get start getting past this reluctance.
How Much Time & Space To Have In Dating & Relationships
In this quick episode, “The Right Amount Of Time & Space In Dating & Relationships”, Barry covers how we need a balance of individual time and enough space to have healthy dating & relationships. He describes the balance single people and couples must find to meet your needs and create a happy, healthy, empowered relationship!
Showing & Receiving Affection
In “Showing & Receiving Affection” Barry describes the ways we learn to show and receive affection, what affection is, and shares some questions to ask yourself to uncover how you cam get more flow of affection into your lofe and relationships!
Busy People
Barry talks about how being busy is less about time and more about deep emotional values and identity. He shares examples of how busy people can have healthy, empowered relationships. Also, he gives an action tip that helps whether you are single, in a relationship, busy with work, busy with children, or in a relationship with someone very busy.
Verbs and Actions Create Healthy Relationships
Verbs and Actions Create Healthy Relationships
Past, Present and Future Relationships
Barry discusses Past, Present and Future Relationships, and what to do about each in order to have a healthy, empowered relationship! Plus he gives you an action to do today!
When You Are Holding It Together, But Feel Like Falling Apart
Barry describes how strong women can hold it all together even while feeling like falling apart — plus why this happens, an example of how it looks, and what to do about it!
Conscious Beauty (What Your Style & Appearance Says About Who You Are On The Inside)
In “Conscious Beauty (What Your Style & Appearance Says About Who You Are On The Inside)” Barry explains the relationship between our self identity, self image and beliefs about ourself and out outer style & appearance. He gives an example of how conscious beauty starts inside then is reflected on the outside, and how that attracts and keeps the desire of our soulmate.
Listen To Your Intuition
Listen To And Trust Your Intuition
Transitions, Transformation and Change
Barry describes the three stages of major transitions in our lives and relationships. He walks us through making big changes in a conscious, healthy, empowered way! Which of these three stages are you at?
The 3 Reasons Men Don’t Commit & Connect
Barry shares the 3 Main Blocks To Male Commitment & Connection, and gives examples of them.
Relationship Scars
Barry explains how relationships can leave emotional scars and how these can follow you from relationship to relationship. He discusses how family of origin affects this, how the way you end a relationship determines success or failure of your next relationship, how relationship scars can keep you from meeting the right partner, how to tell if you relationship scars are healed or not, and more in
The 3 Keys To Empowered Relationships
Barry goes over the “The 3 Keys To Empowered Relationships” — he discusses the obstacles to each and gives examples. These three elements MUST be there to keep your power when dating and in relationships!
Knowing What To Say
Barry goes through the different situations where we can have challenges knowing what to say: from meeting a new guy, to conversation on dates, or with a long term partner. He reviews the reasons these challenges happen and describes the emotional mechanisms that prevent us from or allow us to easily express ourselves. He offers solutions and actions to more easily know what to say.
The Way Into A Man’s Heart (To Be The Only One In It)
In “The Way Into A Man’s Heart (To Be The Only One In It)” Barry shares the biggest mistakes people make when wanting a man to love them, how to avoid those mistakes and how to be the ONLY one in a man’s heart! You cannot miss this episode.
Good Friends & Family, Bad Advice
Good Friends & Family, Bad Advice
Who You Deserve As A Partner
Barry describes how to assess a partner who deserves you — he shares Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh’s 5 elements of a thriving relationship and how to change your focus from your partner or potential partners traits to whether you and this person have these 5 elements in your dynamic.
Self Awareness
Barry describes why Self Awareness determines your chances of a reality-based, healthy relationship. He describes how men are usually raised to have lower self awareness in certain areas, and how to spot it in a man. He then explains how to create your own self awareness, reduce your blindspots and strengthen your relationship with yourself, and others! Don’t miss this one. Without self awareness,
What’s Your Attachment Style?
Barry delves into how our childhood attachment style affects our adult relationships! He also offers a special gift at the end!
How A Man Shows You He Loves You
Barry covers “How A Man Shows You He Loves You”. He walks through the different ways men express love, the difference between sincere love and him just saying and doing things to get what he wants, and how to tune in to your love radar.
Can A Man Change? (Yes, But Only If He Does THIS)
Barry describes how to know if a man will actually change.
‘Type A’ Personality Men
Barry gets into detail about ‘Type A’ Personality Men. Why they are attractive to many women. What it’s like to date them and be in relationships with them. What’s really go on inside them, and what’s really going on inside you.
Your Health and Dating & Relationships
Barry explains how our body environment and it’s health affect our dating and relationships through things like energy level, stress, irritability, appearance, confidence, sexual chemistry, illness and others. He offers a simple, quick action to take today to ensure you are healthier so you can have a healthy, empowered relationship. Listen up!
Fathers
Barry dissects the different ways your Father figure can impact your current dating & relationships — he gives examples of Fathers who were not present, present but dysfunctional, present and “perfect”, and the current ways your pattern will show up. These include being a rescuer/fixer, have abandonment triggers, safety and control issues, comparing men to an unreal standard, and more.
Getting Out Of Your Head (Stop Over-Thinking)
Getting Out Of Your Head (Stop Over-Thinking)
Comparing To Others (The Grass Is Greener...)
Barry explains how and why we can think the grass is greener on the other side: single people yearning for a partner, couples yearning for a different partner or to be single. He shares how to begin assessing if this is a healthy intuition or an unhealthy one, then describes the concept of Fantasy Contamination and balancing reality with fantasy. Also, he shares what to focus on to help us stop co
A Method For Meeting & Connecting With Men
Barry shares how to meet new men or connect with the man you are with. This is a simple change in approach that makes it much easier for a man to connect with you!
The Secret To Getting Men To Really Listen
Barry shares the secret to having men REALLY listen to you. It’s bot complicated, but we are usually unaware of this as we speak. He also gives you a fun way to practice this!
Object Constancy & Healthy Love
Barry shares a powerful concept that neuroscience has revealed. Object Constancy is a developmental stage that affects emotional attachment — Barry describes what it is, how it develops, how it can contribute to fear of abandonment and anxious attachment style if not fully developed, plus how to see what your level of object constancy is and how to improve it.
Bringing The Best Out In A Man
Barry goes deep into the topic of “Bringing The Best Out In A Man”. He covers how to do it, what works, what doesn’t, doing it while meeting & dating new men, doing it with a long term partner, how Man-Mode can be activated simply, and the main subconscious blocks, beliefs and wounds that get in the way. This is a must-listen if you want to be treated well.
One Simple Action You Can Take To Not Be Disappointed or Hurt By Men
Barry cuts right to the chase and gives you one quick exercise to prevent disappointment with men!
The “What Ifs?” Damage Dating & Relationships
Barry describes how a case of the “What Ifs” damage dating and relationships. He describes how our minds are trained to worry about future pain and fear based on past wounds and trauma. Then he gives us a way to separate the unhealthy What Ifs that are just past wounds from the real present moment situation, and how to take action when real issues are present now.
Is He Worth It?
Barry describes the experience of asking ourselves, “Is He Worth It?”. Whether it’s a single woman deciding if it is worth the time and energy to go out on a date on a weeknight, or a woman in a relationship asking if the person she is with is worth the sacrifices and tolerations, Barry explains how to handle the situation. This episode ends with an action-focused question for you to ask yourself!
Laughter
Barry shares about the role of laughter in dating and relationships. He discusses how it can be sought out in a partner to compensate for an imbalance in our own life, or can be used positively in attraction and dating, or as a very healthy component of a long-term relationship. He explains how to incorporate healthy laughter into your dating and relationships.
The Real Reason People Don’t Have The Relationship They Want (And What To Do About It)
Barry explains “The Real Reason People Don’t Have The Relationship They Want (And What To Do About It)”. He gives examples of this overlooked, underestimated factor then teaches an exercise that will help you solve it.
“Does he love ME or my ____?” (Money, Looks, Status)
Barry explores the common worry “Does he love ME or my ____?” (Money, Looks, Status) and gives two solutions.
The Difference Between Wants & Needs In Dating And Relationships
Barry discusses how studies show self-reported ‘wants’ tend to be inaccurate in dating, and the importance of distinguishing wants from needs to have a healthy relationship. This helps avoid narcissists and people pleasers, creating an equitable dynamic based on self knowledge and what really matters most.
Living Together & Living On Your Own
Barry explores the different stages of “Living Together & Living On Your Own” as a single person and a person in a relationship — each one can bring up emotional needs and fears. He details these and what to do to experience the joy, love and connection of living together without losing yourself in the process.
How Relationships Are Like Investments
How Relationships Are Like Investments. Barry shares how to invest your heart wisely.
How To Have Men Open Up And Talk About Feelings
Barry describes “How To Have Men Open Up And Talk About Feelings”. He explains the challenges men have with expressing feelings, why they have those challenges, the difference between Open Masculinity and Closed Masculinity, and exactly how to get a man to be more emotionally expressive.
Handling Stressful Times
Barry describes how stressful times affect your dating and relationships. He explains why that happens, and how to handle stressful times in a way that allows a healthy, empowered, less stressed you, and thereby a healthy, empowered relationship! If you deal with any stress in your life, you need to listen to this!
Making Dating & Relationships Easy (Play To Your Strengths!)
Dating and relationships don’t have to just be effort and self-growth, they can be fun and easy! Today, Barry shares a simple approach to make it fun and easy!
Create Meaningful Connection
Create Meaningful Connection With Meaningful Conversations
The 9 Environments For Date Ideas
Barry explains the 9 Environments we usually use in coaching to improve all 9 areas of our life, and then teaches you how to apply these 9 Environments for date ideas and relationship activities that are fun, connective and help you get to know one another more deeply!
“The Moment” (Trusting Your Gut & Intuition)
Barry explains how we all have moments of full certainty and knowing about guys amd relationships; whether it’s realizing he’s the wrong guy, realizing they are the “One” for you, realizing you don’t love your partner anymore, or something else — our intuition, gut instinct, deep wisdom KNOWS. Barry explains how this occurs, discusses the neuroscience of gut instinct, how and why we often ignore i
Attraction
Barry explains why we are attracted to certain people and not others, the psychology of attraction, our past pattern, how our wounds and unmet needs are involved. and how to be more conscious of why we are feeling attraction.
How To Be Respected By Men
Barry describes how and why we can get disrespected, and the real cause. He gives a quick adjustment you can make today to instantly get more respect!
Exercise: Why are you listening? Finding your big WHY.
Exercise: Why are you listening? Finding your big WHY.
Dating & Relationships As Personal Growth
Barry describes a different approach to your dating amd relationships that empowers you. He gives detailed examples of how a single client and a married client used this approach to immediately get better results in their dates and in their marriage. Barry gives one simple activity for you to try today to move towards a healthy. empowered relationship This is a must listen and a game change!
Gratitude
Barry describes how Gratitude creates positive focus, dispels negative emotion and creates a healthy state to meet and attract a healthy partner,, or connect lovingly with a current partner. He walks you through two short gratitude exercises for healthier, more empowered relationships!
Our Need For Attention
Barry talks about how attention os a developmental aspect of our psyche from infancy, through our childhood and teenage years, and how it affects our adult relationships. We don’t want attention, we need it. Here’s how to start getting it in a healthier way.
Being An Ambitious Woman
Barry describes how ambition is a positive but can be viewed as a negative in dating & relationships. He teaches us how to spot partners who lack ambition, how some men fool themselves into thinking they can handle ambitious women but end up feeling insecure with them, how to spot partners who have the right type of self esteem to be in a healthy relationship with an ambitious woman, and how to be
Going Too Fast Or Too Slow In Relationships
Going Too Fast Or Too Slow In Relationships
Emotional Dysregulation (How Your Brain Ruins Relationships)
Barry explains the concept of emotional dysregulation, how it contributes to reactivity and cause problems with dating and relationships, and offers methods to emotionally regulate so you and any partner have less stress, anxiety, fear, conflict and anger and more love, joy and connection.
Affirmations For A Healthy, Empowered Relationship
Barry reviews how to effectively use “Affirmations For A Healthy, Empowered Relationship”. He describes why affirmations used incorrectly don’t work, and how to use affirmations more effectively.
Pre-Flirting
Barry describes Pre-Flirting, an approach to being ready to flirt. He gives you one inner emotional action and one outer action to effectively prepare for great flirting! Enjoy!
Being In Love Without Losing Yourself
For single and coupled people alike, this episode gives you the three keys to being deeply in love without losing your self, without putting your own needs aside. Barry explains how the union with another person feels amazing but can threaten our needs and boundaries, then he teaches the three steps to being a healthy empowered woman in a relationship!
“Getting Men To Initiate (So You Aren’t Always The One Doing It)”
In “Getting Men To Initiate (So You Aren’t Always The One Doing It)” Barry describes why many strong women end up doing all the initiating, what’s really going on with men who don’t initiate, and how to get men to initiate everything from dates, to romance and intimacy.
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