The PDA Parenting Podcast
A podcast for parents raising PDA autistic kids and teens. Hosted by parent coach Amy Kotha, it offers real talk, personal stories, and practical tools to move from chaos to connection. The episodes provide support and strategies for navigating the challenges of PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) in children and adolescents.
Episodes
Autistic Meltdowns: Why They Begin Long Before the Meltdown
Why do autistic meltdowns seem to happen over something so small? In this episode of The PDA Parenting Podcast, parent coach Amy Kotha explores why the visible trigger is rarely the true cause of a meltdown.Through the fictional story of Emma, Amy illustrates how sensory challenges, masking, unexpected changes, and accumulated stress can overwhelm a child's nervous system long before a meltdo
Holding Grief (And Each Other)
Grief isn't only about death. Sometimes it's saying goodbye to a season of parenting. Sometimes it's watching your child grow up. Sometimes it's the end of a coaching group, a move, a beloved pet, or simply the realization that life is changing. In this deeply personal episode, Amy shares a week filled with endings - including the unexpected loss of her family's beloved d
What If PDA Isn't A Behavior Problem?
What if PDA isn't a behavior problem at all?In this episode, Amy explores a powerful shift in perspective that can change how parents understand PDA. Instead of viewing avoidance, refusal, aggression, or meltdowns as the problem, what if these behaviors are actually signals from a nervous system working hard to stay safe?Drawing on the work of Robyn Gobbel, Mona Delahooke, Bruce Perry, and e
What Has Fear Convinced You Is Your Job? (And Why You're So Exhausted)
Many parents of PDA, autistic, and other neurodivergent children find themselves exhausted, overwhelmed, and constantly worried about their child's future. But what if fear has quietly convinced you that you're responsible for things no parent can actually control?In this episode, I explore the difference between helping and carrying, why uncertainty is so difficult for our brains, and h
When Boundaries Break Down: Parenting PDA Kids Through Unpredictability, Nervous System Safety & Letting Go of Control
After a break for health and recovery, Amy returns with a powerful conversation on boundaries, unpredictability, and nervous system regulation.If you’ve ever felt like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster - hopeful one moment and overwhelmed the next - this episode will help you understand why unpredictability feels so destabilizing and how to stay steady through it.Amy explores the connection bet
PDA, Food Preoccupation, and Weight Gain: Nervous System Parenting for Neurodivergent Kids
If you’re parenting a PDA child or teen and food feels scary right now, this episode is for you.Many PDA kids experience food preoccupation, binge-like eating, weight changes, or rigid food preferences - often as a response to stress, loss of autonomy, or nervous system overload. In this episode, we explore food and eating through a nervous-system-informed, non-diet-culture lens, so you can respon
Why Traditional Parenting Programs Don’t Work for PDA Families - and What I Do Instead
Traditional parenting programs often don’t work for PDA families - not because parents aren’t trying hard enough, but because the structure itself creates pressure.In this episode, I share why I stopped offering a weekly parenting class and what flexible, PDA-informed support can look like instead.What if the problem isn’t you - or your child - but the structure of the support you’ve been offered?
When Learning Shuts Down: PDA, School Trauma, and Why Traditional Education Stops Working (Part 2)
When Learning Shuts Down: PDA, School Trauma, and Why Traditional Education Stops Working (Part 1)
What happens when learning shuts down - at school, at home, everywhere?In Part One of this two-part conversation, I’m joined by educator and consultant Danielle Rodda to talk about why learning becomes unsafe for so many PDA and neurodivergent kids.In this episode, we explore:Why compliance-based education doesn’t work for PDA nervous systemsHow school trauma and chronic pressure shut learning dow
The “Good Mom” Myth: How PDA Parents Can Break Free from Holiday Judgment and Comparison
The holidays hit PDA parents harder - and it’s not your fault. In this episode, we break down why judgment, comparison, overwhelm, and the “good mom” myth intensify this time of year - and what’s really happening inside your nervous system and your child’s.You’ll learn: • why your child’s overwhelm triggers your own • how identity friction fuels shame • why holiday environments activate threat sta
Talking About Adoption, Autism & Identity: What to Do When You’re Afraid to Get It Wrong
In this episode, Amy explores why some kids - especially adopted, autistic, or PDA-identifying kids - avoid talking about their story, whether it’s adoption, trauma, or a new diagnosis. Using personal experiences from raising her two daughters, she explains how these conversations activate the nervous system and why avoidance is often about safety, not refusal.You’ll learn how to share your child’
You Don’t Have to Fix Your Child: The Shift That Changes Everything
In this episode, Amy speaks directly to the part of every parent that whispers, “You’ve got to fix this.”Drawing from her own journey - from years of researching and even attending graduate school to understand her child’s behavior - she shares what she’s learned about the nervous system, safety, and why trying to “fix” our children keeps both parent and child stuck in a cycle of stress.Listeners
From Fear to Hope: Parenting Through Crisis with Compassion
In this heartfelt episode, Amy opens up about a recent family crisis that brought her to her knees - and the quiet resilience that helped her rise again. Through personal reflection, she explores the science of co-regulation, the role of community in healing, and what clinical psychologist Dr. Matt Zakreski calls “psychological capital” - hope as something we can actively build through small acts
Why Hygiene is Hard for PDA Autistic Kids (and How Parents Can Help)
Why is hygiene such a struggle for PDA autistic kids? And why does pushing only make it harder?In this episode of the PDA Parenting Podcast, Amy explores the real reasons behind resistance to toothbrushing, showering, and other daily self-care routines. You’ll learn how nervous system responses, sensory sensitivities, and demand avoidance all play a role, and why it’s never about laziness or will
Scaffolding Through Life Transitions: Supporting PDA Teens with Safety & Collaboration
Parenting a PDA teen means our role is always evolving - and nowhere is that more clear than during big life transitions like starting college, a first job, or moving away from home. In this episode of The PDA Parenting Podcast, Amy Kotha shares how scaffolding, cues of safety, and collaborative strategies can help PDA teens and young adults navigate overwhelming changes without collapsing under t
Voice, Vision, and Validation: A Conversation With Diane Gould on Empowering Neurodivergent Lives
In this powerful episode of The PDA Parenting Podcast, host Amy Kotha is joined by Diane Gould, LCSW - a veteran therapist, late-diagnosed autistic woman, and Director of PDA North America. Diane shares her personal journey to discovering her neurodivergence and how it informs her professional mission to amplify PDA awareness and advocacy across the continent.Together, Amy and Diane dive into what
Life with a PDA Sibling: A Raw Conversation with Devi
What is it really like to grow up with a sibling who has PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) autism? In this powerful episode, I sit down with my daughter Devika -an autistic, ADHD teen herself - to talk about her personal experience as the sister of a PDA child. Devi shares openly about the emotional ups and downs, how family dynamics were affected, and what helped her feel seen in a home where o
Supporting the Siblings of PDAers: Roles, Repair, & Real Talk
How does growing up with a PDA sibling shape a child’s identity, needs, and voice? In this episode of The PDA Parenting Podcast, Amy Kotha explores the often overlooked experience of siblings in families raising a child with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA autism).Drawing from her own family’s story and her experience as a parent coach, Amy shares:How PDA shapes family dynamics and sibling role
Inside the PDA Experience: Conversations With Maya on Feeling Trapped
In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Amy is joined by her daughter Maya - who shares her lived experience as a PDA autistic teen. Together, they explore the PDA experience of feeling trapped: at school, in the medical system, and inside her own mind.From second-grade meltdowns to high school shutdowns to hospital sensory overwhelm, Maya speaks candidly about what “feeling trapped” really
Feeling Trapped: What it's Like for PDA Kids - and Parents
In this episode, Amy Kotha explores the powerful theme of feeling trapped - a core experience for many PDA autistic kids and a familiar reality for their parents, too. She breaks down what “trapped” looks like at different ages and shares five ways to help everyone in the family feel more free.For PDAers, trapped doesn’t just mean physically stuck - it’s about a lack of autonomy, emotional overwhe
When Their Struggles Become Ours: Parenting Through the Ups and Downs
In this reflective solo episode, Amy Kotha shares a deeply personal story about parenting her PDA daughter through a major life transition - and how her daughter’s struggles unexpectedly derailed her own plans.Amy explores what happens when parenting a child with PDA autism pulls us off our own path and into their emotional storms. From delayed podcast launches to insights about co-regulation, enm
PDA & Social Masking: Understanding Hidden Struggles
In Part 2 of our introduction to Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), host Amy Kotha explores the social characteristics that make this autism profile so complex - especially masking, fluctuating social skills, and the surprising ways demand avoidance shows up in relationships.Amy shares personal stories and expert insights to help parents recognize common PDA traits like masking at school, social
What Is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)? A Parent's Guide
In this inaugural episode of The PDA Parenting Podcast, host Amy Kotha - parent coach and mom to a teen with PDA autism - introduces the concept of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). Learn about the key characteristics of PDA, its impact on children's behavior, and why understanding this profile is crucial for effective parenting.Amy shares her personal journey navigating the complexities o
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