Keith and The Girl
Keith and The Girl is a fast-paced comedy podcast hosted by Keith Malley, in which he and his guests discuss a wide range of personal and societal topics, including relationships, religion, atheism, LGBTQ issues, racism, feminism, and drug use. The show, running since March 2005, is known for its frank, humorous atmosphere and has built a devoted fan base, with over 150 listeners getting KATG-related tattoos. Considered a pioneer in podcasting, it has released more than 3,800 episodes and has been praised by notable comedians like Marc Maron and Gilbert Gottfried.
Episodes
4016: No Hard Feelings w/ Bonnie McFarlane
It’s me, Keith. (Surprise: It always is. I write these.) I heard of, like, the pick-up artist kinda shit about taking off the condom without them knowing, but I didn’t know it’s so fucking common that there’s a word for it! Anyway, since it’s been a week of Rape Culture talk, here’s a relisten of the great Bonnie McFarlane. YOU’LL LAUGH THE WHOLE TIME I PROMISE!
4015: The Social Reckoning w/ Laura
The dynamic duo is back to tell you whose side to take regarding everything controversial. Keith and Laura discuss Sebastian Maniscalco responding to middle-class comedians’ pleas, bad boy Shane Gillis hosting SNL, the potential public execution of U.S. Army Major Nidal Malik Hasan, Aaron Sorkin’s The Social Reckoning, The Cornell Seven, and the MOST controversial story of the weekend: Keith, a Ne
4014: 1-800-799-SAFE w/ Laura, then; Felicia Gillespie and Craig Klein feat. Pat Dixon
Keith not only introduced Laura to jaywalking and using a water cup to steal $6 theme park soda, he introduced her to the idea of sharing food!!! The duo also discusses a listener thanking KATG for helping their friend leave her violent husband as well as talking about the death of The Howard Stern Show’s Big Black. We then look back at Felicia Gillespie’s bravely recalling the abuse of comedian P
4013: Yikes City (Snap! Crackle! Pop!) w/ John F. O’Donnell
Before we look back at Keith and Chemda with the always growing and sharing comedian and advocate John F. O’Donnell describing his biggest manic episodes at the time/of all time while trying to find peace on the other side, Keith discusses other crazy news stories, including the controversial SiriusXM’s newly-branded Sebastian Maniscalco’s Comedy Radio (fka Raw Dog) that’s keeping money from middl
4012: Any Given Thursday w/ Laura
Everyone’s new favorite and Keith’s new neighbor Laura joins us again as the two discuss horror movies (including Tom Cruise’s new film Digger), yesterday’s Steelers vs. Browns football game, and Keith’s new electric bike [BigShockedEyes.emoji]. Oh, and they talk about the millions of dollars in gold that’s coming his way.
4011: The Things behind Things w/ Calvin Cato
Legendary KATG guest Calvin Cato returns, and he’s figured out the secret to Lick My Suck My! Also, the duo discusses Keith’s four new vaccinations, Lanterns making him cry, how to deal with your favorite sports team hiring assholes, and the lore of Ms. Pac-Man. LISTEN TO CALVIN’S NEW ALBUM “DISNEY SINGLE”!
4010: Cry for Me w/ Laura
You wanted Laura back, so no time like the present! Keith and Laura are here to discuss Keith’s proven cure for your depression, science’s explanation of the clitoris, and saying the wrong name during sex. In even more controversial news, The New York Times listed the 100 best TV shows of the 21st century, somehow. Keith saves you over three hours by giving away the added four minutes in Avengers
4009: The Days of Awe (Suicide Prevention)
Hope you had a great Yom Kippur! Or a sad one I mean. Or a blessed one? Anyway, congrats if your rabbi didn’t die over your sins and you’re forgiven. In this episode Keith discusses the Ed Sheeran/Free Palestine controversy, the Resident Evils, when suicide attempted itself upon Carrot Top, and your feedback.
4008: Carowinds (Livin’ It Up) w/ Laura
Keith’s new friend and fellow Charlottean Laura is today’s guest, and the duo really are a hoot and a half! They discuss heartbreak, the Emmys, and Keith’s visit to a theme park for the first time in 8 years.
4007: fun. w/ Carrie Gravenson
After reminding the audience about Keith’s nonsense of direction and a major trip to San Juan, the audience demands to hear it all come together. From 2020, this episode features KATG fave Carrie Gravenson discussing Keith’s life-changing hack when he hosts parties, how to get to where you’re going if you don’t know how to get there, how to be there for your partner, and The Don’t Bother Travel Sh
4006: Kennywood w/ Kyle Ocasio
Keith’s going to the theme park Carowinds in North Carolina today with his last theme park visit being 8 years ago with Kennywood in Pennsylvania. Will he come back in one piece? Will he even know how to come back? In this episode featuring love-at-the-time Kyle Ocasio, we revisit his last trip to a major theme park so that he can remember how to conduct himself and if he should expect to have a g
4005: A Lack of Direction w/ Kyle and Benny Ocasio
A peak back with Keith, Chemda, Kyle Ocasio, and her son Benny. From Crocs controversy, airplane seat-reclining controversy, and the ending of The Dad Emails to Keith’s new family—The Ocasios—and his first trip to San Juan. Oh and Benny never forgets 9/11. (You hear how fatherly Keith is?! Now that’s how it’s done, Dad!!!)
4004: THE GOOTZ w/ Wendi Starling, Sarah Hartshorne, and Ray fuckin’ Gootz
What else can we say? It’s the mother fuckin’ Gootz!
4003: The Awkward Kings of Comedy w/ MARINA FRANKLIN (feat. Owen), Victor Varnado, Hannibal Buress, and Baron Vaughn
KATG episode 4,000 reminded some people of past insanity and beefs, so this episode recalls one of the greatest and—no pun—one of the most awkward KATG shows ever. The meat of this episode is from 2010 and features Keith and Chemda promoting Victor Varnado’s The Awkward Comedy Show with fellow performers Marina Franklin, Hannibal Buress, Marina Franklin, Baron Vaughn, and (let’s not forget) Marina
4002: $#!†-₣u¢₭ (Living with Tourette Syndrome) w/ Benny Feldman
KEITH SAW A MOVIE HE LOVES! KEITH SAW A MOVIE HE LOVES! Yep, it’s true! Keith saw the biographical comedy-DRAMA(!!!) “I Swear,” and he cried his brains out in the best way. That led to him revisiting Benny Feldman—one of his favorite KATG guests—who was truly an open book regarding what it’s like being a stand-up comedian with Tourette syndrome. Also, Keith still has the best refrigerator contents
4001: ARCADE.gov and ReadersMagnet w/ Andrea Allan
Just today, Keith got a spam call from ReadersMagnet, a scam company trying to take advantage of independent authors. This reminded him of the first time he happened to be called by the very same literary scouts some years ago while recording a live Keith and The Girl episode with Chemda and Andrea Allan. Today we re-listen to this classic KATG reverse prank call after discussing the arcade select
4000: SHOW #4,000 w/ The Chat Pack
Some of the best of The Chat Pack, aka; Big Dick Blaine, Neal, Hayley, Bryan, Roland, Newsy, Matthew, and Diana join Keith to celebrate Keith and Chemda’s podcast of well over 21 years by recognizing this very episode. This sexy octet does their best to help Keith recall 3,999 episodes by letting him know how they found KATG and what stood out the most: the good, the bad, and the very, very ugly.
3999: HALLELUJAH! (Everybody Wants Some!!) w/ Rod Morrow
Hey, you guys ever get a … hold on, lemme look this up. [Dictionary Preferences: 2 words ("blow job") preferred by Merriam-Webster and the Oxford English Dictionary. 1 word ("blowjob") preferred by the American Heritage Dictionary.] Anyway, you ever get one? HOLY MAGOLEY!
3998: Boys’ Weekend: RETURN OF THE CARNIVAL OF SINS (Theatre of Pain)
Keith, Buddy, Big Dick, and Killer finish their recording session discussing Virtual Reality “games” (you know the kind), the truly greatest BBQ spot in Charlotte, The Diamond Dogs’ tattoos, and the epic concert of Extreme, Tesla, and I guess Mötley Crüe.
3997: Boys’ Weekend: THE STRIP CLUB (Girls, Girls, Girls)
“A podcaster, a Canadian, a football coach, and a Texan walk into a bar.” The trio continues recapping their awesome weekend of friendship and whores as we learn everything you ever wanted to know about a strip club but were afraid to ask.
3996: Boys’ Weekend: CAROWINDS I mean THE GUN RANGE (New Tattoo)
All 4 of the dogs are together! Thanks to Keith’s excellent planning, he’s joined by the whole gang featuring Big Dick Blaine, Buddy Rick, and Killer Kyle. BBQ? CHECK! Guns? CHECK! Titties? CHECK! Theme Park? Pardon?
3995: Boys’ Weekend: THE POOL w/ Blaine
It’s only been 24 hours into Boys’ Weekend, and Keith and Big Dick Blaine already have plenty of ridiculousness to yap about. Before Buddy Rick and Killer Kyle arrive, the duo not only teach you the sincere foolproof way to be a millionaire, but they also discuss the amazing movies Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (96%) and Busboys (literally no rating), Keith’s and their mothers’ cooking, the
3994: Prayers for the Melancholy w/ Shahrum & Heather, Robert Alvarez, Brother Love, Katharine Heller, and Newsy
New Madden! New VR mini golf course! And the games never stop!!! On this final Robert Alvarez re-listen, we also check in with co-guests Rockstar Brother Love, “HellKat” Katharine Heller, and Bad Boy Newsy thanks to listener-producers Shahrum & Heather, who cast this very episode. Before the party begins, Keith shares his thoughts on Father Malley using ChatGPT, Trump’s Sunshine Protection Act, a
3993: The Psychic and the Poltergeist w/ Robert Alvarez
12 years later, The Psychic Witch Robert Alvarez returns, this time over video during COVID; but still, nothing can slow him down (even the poltergeist he apparently lives with). Keith and Chemda catch up on Robert’s life, learn the future of their own lives, and get even more personal with The Great One.
3992: House of the Dragons w/ Robert Alvarez and Jeremy
It’s literally a house of dragons, silver and otherwise. Along with Robert Alvarez, Keith and Chemda are joined by their friend and cancer and lightning survivor Jeremy to cover the news of the day and the news of the future. Before that, Keith discusses his latest post-romance feelings, calling a 900 sex line, and using The Strangers: Chapters 2 and 3 to heal. Also, it’s officially the beginning
3991: Keith Malley, Silver Dragon w/ Robert Alvarez
The greatest psychic ever is back! And Robert Alvarez is here too! (WINK) Keith, Chemda, and Robert join forces to figure out the future of Mike, one of their greatest interns. They also take calls, do speed-readings, and deal with April pendejos.
3990: The KATG 76-Hour Marathon: The Witching Hour w/ Robert Alvarez and “friends”
Today we play a section from Keith and Chemda’s record-breaking 76-hour marathon featuring Witch Robert Alvarez (that’s okay to say) psychically reading in-studio guests as well as callers over the phone. From love, money, and travels to something else I’m sure, it all gets covered. Also, there’s animosity in the room, but Robert can’t be deterred from rising above it all.
3989: Keith’s Psychic Guide w/ Robert Alvarez
It’s now 2008, and during the time when Keith and Chemda were dating, psychic witch Robert Alvarez made his second appearance. The hosts cover the previous predictions Robert has made, and they grade him accordingly. Mr. Alvarez also blesses us with more fast-paced call-in readings and, with the work of spirit guide David, helps Keith and Chemda find Keith’s opener for his upcoming stand-up show S
3988: Psychic Witch w/ Robert Alvarez and JessNYC
We’re celebrating Robert Alvarez! Oh, don’t worry; he’s very much alive! (As of press time.) We’re just going to spend this week revisiting one of KATG’s greatest guests. Robert has appeared with his mystical how-ya-doin’s since 2007, and we’re gonna look back and check on his work. The beginning of these episodes will have a fresh introduction, and these shows will now end with a track from whate
3987: Brand New Day: Just Desserts (Keith’s Lemonade Stand)
It’s now officially been 6 months since Keith last saw his ex-girlfriend, but this got him through a rough day: “To reconnect to the person who hurt you is disrespectful to the version of you who suffered.” Enjoy.
3986: Keith’s Dad’s Odyssey w/ Bianca Brady and Andrea Allan
Keith and Chemda were blessed with Bianca and Andrea doing book reports of Father Malley’s tomes. Today we remember His Majesty. Also God’s.
3985: Love and Money: Lost Gold/Our Father (Who Talks to Heaven) w/ Ken Malley
(Chronic KATG Poker Champ) Keith (yes, AGAIN) shares his thoughts on his breakup now reaching its 5-month mark. He also discusses his upcoming hair metal date with the guys, his thoughts on Senator Lindsey Graham’s passing (take a guess), Christopher Nolan’s new 6-hour film The Odyssey, and New Jersey’s own Johnny Gabagool. Then he reveals that the Father Malley Gold Story has an ending! Keith sum
3984: Play With Me w/ Katharine Heller
America celebrated her 250th birthday. And man does she look it. HELLER! Anyway, Keith is back with close friend and KATG great Katharine Heller. Katharine just returned to NYC from visiting Keith in Charlotte, and she’s ready to report on her findings. Was Keith a good host? Did Keith brag about having a perfect refrigerator yet not have simple classic yellow mustard? Did Keith’s water go out on
3983: Searching for “Supergirl” (My Machelle)
Keith is going to have the second person ever in his Charlotte home after over a year! How will he fare, and how is his brain mentally and otherwise? It’s all right here.
3982: Heart and No Soul (Christios Razdajetsa) w/ Ken Malley
Turns out that Keith’s not the only writer in the Malley family. Keith and brother Ken celebrated Christmas by recalling what was found cleaning out their family home. Keith’s siblings discovered a heartbreaking story written by their Mom about her marrying a loser and ruining her life as well as an email sent to her by their dad explaining how he almost died over hearing that she doesn’t understa
3981: CRYSTAL CLEAR w/ Ken Malley
More about Dad. Even less to know. HAPPY FATHER’S DAY
3980: Peace w/ Ken Malley and Bernie Kosar
For real though, peace and love to all the good fathers out there; and to all the happy spouses, lovers, and childrens: Good for you. This is more for the rest of us. Good God.
3979: Father’s Day (Day 1) w/ Ken Malley
In honor of the world celebrating Father’s Day, this week Keith will look back at the VIP-featured KATG spin-off show Daddy Issues which began in COVID-era 2020 with episodes that feature his youngest brother Ken trying to help make sense of their father and their upbringing. We’re happy for all of you in loving families with caring fathers that got to celebrate the weekend. This now, however, is
3978: Day of Freedom (Sound the Siren)
Happy Juneteenth! Keith is waving his flags today. (In the good way!) With the fellow Diamond Dogs he discusses his favorite teams winning all the sports, President Trump’s Pride UFC birthday party, Tony Hinchcliffe’s Man of the People “stand-up” (very) special (Rotten Tomatoes: 5% [prayerhands.emoji]), and Michael Jackson: The Verdict. The gang also revisit Objectum Sexuality and the Eiffel Tower
3977: A Shoulder to Cry On w/ Rod Morrow
The 1-year anniversary of Keith moving to Charlotte did a number on him, but is he about to, in fact, be back in the saddle? And is this healthy? And what are you, a doctor? Rod Morrow joins KATG for all the ins, outs, and others of Keith’s life, including discussions on how to calm a woman down, Freedom 250’s AWOL artists, and 4D rom-coms.
3976: Methods of Mayhem
Hell yeah! Nothing says it’s summertime like an atmospheric firehose! Hope you had a grand Memorial Weekend and that you let Bret Michaels honor the fallen in peace. Now let’s party! NYC hosts half of the top 50 pizza spots in America and holds court in the top 5 spots in the entire world. Now in Charlotte, Keith skips Cook Out to try out America’s 41st best: Pizza Baby. Keith also reviews enterta
3975: I Think I Can Swim
Keith is here to announce that … he CAN swim? Hm. Anyway, Keith has the introduction to his new book about a blindsided break-up reviewed, discusses new Drake, flashbacks to the great Gilbert Gottfried, and gets to the bottom of military submarine Steve and Tom-foolery. Skank you for listening.
3974: How’d It Die?
It’s been exactly three months since Keith’s major break-up. He thinks he’s finally doing okay. Is he?
3973: For the Love of the Game
Keith is back with his church of scars, and nothing’s keeping him down. Keith has finally figured out why the love of his life left him, and he’s going to try to work on being a different person. He also discusses learning the history of the Charlotte-established fast food joint Bojangles, and he eavesdrops on a Bojangles potential hiring. Keith gives us an update on the Coldplay Kiss Cam Couple,
3972: Spirit Not in the Sky
Keith is crying tough through comedy. He discusses the end of Spirit Airlines, the passing of his broken-hearted neighbor, Timothée Chalamet forcing a scene in Marty Supreme where he gets smacked on his bare bottom with a ping pong paddle, The Devil Wears Prada 2, Michael 1, and the Antichrist.
3971: Reminders of Her
She’s EVERYWHERE! Anyway, Keith moves on by discussing the heartbreaking fact that we have friends who constantly fall for fake news, generational slang and colloquialisms, making his dad laugh(?), the film The Drama and the worst things we’ve ever done, and the Trump White House Correspondents’ Dinner shooting. People love asking Keith, with great care and sincere intention: “U ok?” Keith is here
3970: Ordinary World (Dance Through the Darkness)
Keith is feeling upbeat and healthy as he explores Charlotte and wonders if other people, too, have eaten out of the garbage. Keith also ponders if he’s watching TV or if TV is watching him. He makes a correlation between Rotten Tomatoes’ Audience Scores and the state of the world, comments on Dave Chappelle’s confusion over being embraced by anti-trans Republicans, gets riled up over the upcoming
3969: Lovesick & SMART
Keith discusses love, depression, anger, slipping up, and SMART recovery.
3968: Keeping Keith Honest (Oy Gevalt)
Keith’s back, and he’s gotten more so-called-fan mail! Oy vey … Keith also discusses where he’s at in his Anger Stage, No Kings, and the recent high-profile government firings. BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! Who is Keith more disgusted with: Louis C.K. or the dude from Jury Duty Presents: Company Retreat? The answer may surprise you. Breaking news: Jesus saw his shadow!
3967: Hard Interruption (The Anger Stage)
This one’s for the haters
