UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone breaks down centuries of sexist socialization that causes self-doubt, burnout, and anxiety. Hosted by Master Feminist Coach Kara Loewentheil, each episode teaches how to turn down societal expectations and turn up what you really want in life. The podcast covers topics like overthinking, people-pleasing, body image, and communication. It is an essential resource for embracing a life free from limiting beliefs.
Episodes
535. Coaching Hotline: Hyper-Vigilance & Comparing Myself to Every Woman We Pass
Do you find yourself comparing yourself to every woman you see when you are out with your partner? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about hyper-vigilantly scanning other women and feeling like you are constantly being ranked against them.I share why this pattern is not a personal failure, but a result of the way women are socialized to see other women as competition
534. How to Own Your Success with Cecilie Nielsen & Megan Negendank
What does it really take to own your success? In this episode, I’m joined by two of my clients, Cecilie Nielsen and Megan Negendank, to talk about what happened when they stopped treating their goals as proof of their worth and started building a stronger relationship with themselves. We discuss what it looks like to grow a business, achieve ambitious goals, and still learn how to trust yourself,
533. Coaching Hotline: Wedding Planning & Why It Makes Us Feel Not Good Enough
Why does planning a wedding so often bring up feelings of not being good enough? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about why wedding planning can trigger insecurities around your body, age, money, and worth. I explain how weddings have become tied up with social expectations, commercialization, and the pressure to create a perfect version of yourself.You'll hear how
Take Back Your Brain!
My book "Take Back Your Brain: How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head... and How to Get it Out" is available as an audiobook and hardcover wherever books and audiobooks are sold!Click here to order yours: unfuckyourbrain.com/book
532. Anti-Aging Is Not a Thing
We are all going to age. So why are women constantly being sold the idea that aging is something we should fight, prevent, or fix? In this episode, I unpack why the entire concept of “anti-aging” is worth questioning and how the pressure to look younger keeps women focused on monitoring, improving, and judging themselves instead of living their actual lives.I talk about why anti-aging is an imposs
531. Coaching Hotline: The Emotion You're Really Resisting (Behind a Hard Diagnosis)
When you are struggling to accept a painful reality, the question is not just “Why am I resisting this?” but “What am I afraid I will have to feel if I accept it?” In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about her mother’s cognitive impairment diagnosis and why she cannot bring herself to learn more about what it might mean.You’ll learn why acceptance is not something you
530. How to Stop Giving a F*ck What Other People Think (Greatest Hits)
Do you wish you could stop caring so much about what other people think? The problem is, you can't just tell your brain to stop caring and expect it to magically let go. In this Greatest Hits episode, I break down why so many women are stuck worrying about other people’s opinions and why the solution is not caring less about what they think, but caring more about what you think.You’ll learn why yo
529. Coaching Hotline: What's Really Stopping You from Speaking Up in Your Business
Do you want to share your ideas more boldly, but find yourself holding back because you’re afraid of how people will react? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about becoming a more provocative thought leader in her business and what to do when fear of criticism gets in the way.I share what this has looked like in my own business, from putting off topics I knew would p
528. Telling Yourself the Truth (How I Finally Did)
What truth are you refusing to admit because you’re afraid of what it will mean? Maybe you know you want a different role at work, you’re questioning whether something in your relationship is working, or you keep saying yes to things you secretly do not want to do. In this episode, I share a recent moment when I realized I was doing exactly this in my own life. I discuss why your brain loves t
527. Coaching Hotline: Why You're Resentful Instead of Just Asking for What You Want
Have you ever tried to convince yourself you shouldn’t be upset, while still feeling completely resentful underneath? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who feels frustrated that people attend her events less often than she attends theirs. I explore why resentment often comes from treating your assumptions about other people’s expectations as facts, why you can't coach
526. Why Asking For What You Want Matters Even If You Don't Get It
How many times have you decided there is no point in asking for what you want because you probably won’t get it? Maybe you want to ask for a raise, a different role at work, more support from your partner, or a change in your relationship. Your brain has a million reasons why it won’t work, why it’s not the right time, or why wanting it says something bad about you.In this episode, I explain why t
525. Coaching Hotline: I Want to Stay Home with My Kids, but I Need to Make Money
Do you have to choose between staying home with your kids and contributing financially to your family? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about feeling torn between these two goals. We unpack why your brain may be creating a false conflict and how shifting your thinking can help you see more options for creating the life you actually want.Submit your own question here
524. You Don't Need to Heal; You Need to Admit What's True – with Dr. Marisa Franco
So much of the self-help world teaches us that the solution to our problems is to become a better, more healed, more secure version of ourselves. In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Marisa G. Franco, author of Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment, to challenge that idea and talk about why self-worth starts with acknowledging who you actually are, not trying to erase the parts
523. Coaching Hotline: How Can I Stop My Constant Inner Critic & Monologue
Do you have an inner monologue that is constantly keeping score, reminding you what you accomplished, and trying to prove that you’re doing enough? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who has an inner monologue that tracks everything she accomplishes as a way to prove her worth. You’ll hear why trying to force your brain to be quiet usually backfires, and what to do ins
522. How to Know What You Want (Greatest Hits)
What if you do know what you want, but you’ve just gotten really good at talking yourself out of it? In this Greatest Hits episode, I break down why so many women feel disconnected from their own desires and why “I don’t know what I want” is often not the truth. I explain how we learn to prioritize what we should want, what will make other people happy, and what feels safe over what we actually de
521. Coaching Hotline: I Can't Let Go of a Friendship That Ended
Some endings are hard because the person is still alive, but the relationship you had with them is gone. This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is grieving a friendship that has faded and struggling to find acceptance. I talk about why grief cannot be bypassed with the “right” thought and how allowing yourself to feel the loss is part of moving through it. You’ll hear
520. Speaking Up from Activation v Peace (My Own Self-Coaching!)
Have you ever been so angry that you wanted to say something immediately, but you also knew you were probably not in the clearest state of mind? In this episode, I walk you through a real moment from my own life where I was furious, activated, and very tempted to send an angry email. I show you how I coached myself through the emotion, got curious about the thoughts underneath it, and found a way
519. Coaching Hotline: How Do I Know if I Am Indulging a Negative Emotion?
How do you know if you are truly processing an emotion or just stuck thinking about it over and over? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question about the difference between allowing a negative emotion and getting caught in a cycle of recreating it. I explain why the question is not whether you are “indulging” an emotion, but whether you are allowing feelings to move through your body or cont
518. Stop Asking Like You're Begging and Other Lessons from She's So Lucky with Les Alfred
What if the thing you’re calling “luck” is actually a combination of preparation, self-belief, and being willing to create your own opportunities?In this episode, I’m joined by Les Alfred, host of the podcast She’s So Lucky, to talk about the biggest lessons she’s learned from conversations with successful women. We discuss why women often wait for outside validation, how to stop treating every as
517. Coaching Hotline: Isn't Yelling at My Kids Messing Them Up?
Do you ever get stuck in the cycle of losing your temper with your kids, then immediately judging yourself as a terrible parent? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is worried that yelling is damaging her children. You'll hear why shame makes it harder to change, how to separate a behavior from your identity, and why seeing this as a skills gap instead of a characte
516. Why We Check Out or Try to Control It All & How to Stop
Do you tend to shut down and emotionally check out when things feel difficult? Or maybe you take over and try to control every outcome. In this episode, I explain why these two reactions are actually two sides of the same coin: attempts to avoid uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Your brain is trying to protect you, but these strategies can keep you from being honest, asking for what you want, a
515. Coaching Hotline: What If "Good Enough" Makes Me Worse?
Do you believe that if you stop criticizing yourself, your work will suffer? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who worries that letting go of perfectionism will make her less motivated, less productive, or less successful. Tune in to hear why I believe the opposite is true, and how changing the way you motivate yourself can actually create more freedom, creativity, an
514. Your Brain is a Storyteller, Not a Reporter
Your brain is not giving you an objective report of reality. It's constantly filtering, editing, and creating a story based on what it already believes about you and the world. In this episode, I explain how your brain decides what information to pay attention to, why confirmation bias keeps you stuck in old patterns, and how the stories you believe can become self-fulfilling prophecies.Listen in
513. Coaching Hotline: Staying Because You're Scared to Leave
Are you staying in a relationship because you truly want to stay, or because you are afraid of what you will think about yourself if you leave? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is wondering whether she is staying in her marriage because she wants to or because she is scared of how mean she will be to herself if she chooses to leave. I share why you cannot make a
512. Most Habit Change Advice is Wrong - Inconsistency is the Key to Success (Greatest Hits)
Most habit advice tells you to be perfectly consistent, show up every day, and never miss a beat. But that pressure is exactly what keeps people from forming habits in the first place. In this episode, I explain why embracing inconsistency is actually the key to building habits that last.You'll hear why perfectionism makes setbacks feel like failure, how small repeated actions gradually become aut
511. Coaching Hotline: When DEI Feels Like a Threat
Do you catch yourself resenting opportunities others get, even when they’re designed to increase fairness or diversity? In this episode, I answer a listener struggling with scarcity thinking at work and explain why it’s the thought, not the circumstance, that creates anxiety and resentment. You'll hear how women are socialized to wait for rewards instead of creating them, and why taking responsibi
510. How to Take Ownership of Your Happiness with Zerlina Maxwell
It’s so easy to get burned out by the nonstop flood of political news, social pressure, work, and everything else we carry. But it doesn't have to be this way. You can choose how you engage, stay informed, and still be fully present in your own life without sacrificing your happiness, and my guest this week is a great example of doing just that. I'm joined by Zerlina Maxwell, a SiriusXM radio
509. Coaching Hotline: Why Do I Always Do This With Someone I Like?
Do you notice old patterns creeping back in when you start dating someone new, even after making real progress on your thoughts? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener who finds herself feeling needy and seeking validation in new relationships. We unpack why this happens, why it’s completely normal, and how understanding what’s going on in your thoughts can help you navigate these f
508. “Fine”: Why Women Don’t Tell the Truth About How They Feel
If you’ve ever answered “fine” when you weren’t really fine, this episode is for you. Saying “fine” may feel safe in the moment, but it trains your brain to ignore your desires, feelings, and needs, leaving you disconnected from yourself, burnt out, and frustrated.In this episode, I explore why socialization and evolutionary wiring make women suppress anger, disappointment, and discomfort to avoid
507. Coaching Hotline: Why Feedback Sends You Into a Shame Spiral
Does receiving feedback make you spiral into shame, anxiety, or self-doubt? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener who struggles to separate her self-worth from professional critique. You'll hear why those intense feelings are actually avoided emotions showing up, how your brain prioritizes short-term discomfort over thoughtful response, and why trying to get through the feelings qu
506. How a Sandwich Can Rescue - or Ruin - Your Life
If you’ve ever eaten a sandwich when you really wanted dumplings, turned down help you needed, or stayed silent in a meeting because it felt safer to bite your tongue, listen in. Your brain focuses on the short-term pain of asking for what you want and the anxiety or shame that follows, but avoiding those feelings comes at a much bigger cost.In this episode, I slow everything down and examine how
505. Coaching Hotline: What Humility Actually Means & Why You Wear Makeup (and Whether It Matters)
Why do we wear makeup, and does it even matter? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener question about makeup and body image. I explain why wearing makeup is a personal choice and often a form of self-expression, not a reflection of whether you have done the inner work to love your body.I also tackle a question about humility and how it can be useful in managing your mind. This episo
504. Being Joyful Anyway: A Conversation with Kate Bowler
Joy doesn’t always arrive when you expect it, and sometimes it shows up when life feels the hardest. In this episode, I talk about making space for joy with Kate Bowler, a professor at Duke University, 5x bestselling author, and host of the podcast Everything Happens. We discuss why happiness is overhyped, how microjoys and unexpected moments can interrupt your day, and why cultural narratives oft
503. Coaching Hotline: Sibling Rivalry & the Comparison Trap & When Your Child Has a Chronic Illness
Do you ever find yourself comparing yourself to a sibling and feeling stuck in resentment and rivalry? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I break down why most of that tension is coming from your own thoughts and judgments, and how noticing those patterns can change the way you relate to your family.I also answer a listener question about parenting a child with a chronic illness. Many parents feel
502. Why You Don't Ask for What You Want (& How to Start to Change It)
When is the last time you actually asked for what you wanted when you were nervous? Not hinted, not hoped someone would notice, not talked yourself out of it. In this episode, I explore why women often suppress desires, needs, and wants in daily life, from small asks like an hour to yourself to bigger moments like negotiating at work or in relationships.You'll hear why thoughts like "I shouldn’t n
Bonus: 3 Ways to Use Coaching in Other Jobs (The Future Coach Podcast)
Many people assume coaching is only for those who want to run a full-time coaching business, but coaching skills can actually be applied in almost any role. In this bonus episode, I explore three ways you can integrate coaching into other jobs. Whether you’re a manager, team leader, HR professional, or working for another coach, understanding the mental models that drive behavior can transform how
501. Coaching Hotline: Using Social Media to Change Your Body Image & When Your Partner Shuts Down in Arguments
Social media can be a surprisingly powerful tool when it comes to changing how you think about your body. In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener question about using intentional visual exposure on social media to improve body image. I explain why deliberately engaging with images that reflect diverse and relatable bodies can help retrain your brain’s perceptions, and why it is impor
Bonus: Is Coaching the Career for You? (Greatest Hits)
Have you been wondering whether coaching could be a career path for you, or something you bring into the work you're already doing?If you can't stop thinking about that, this episode is for you. What it means to be a coach today is far more varied and interesting than most people assume, and most of you are better suited for it than you realize. I explain who is well-suited for coaching, what it a
500. The Two Biggest Ways Women Hold Back (& What Comes Next for UFYB)
Women often hold themselves back in ways they don’t even notice. This week, I explore the two biggest ways this happens: not asking for what you want and not telling the truth about how you feel. I break down how socialization and internalized beliefs train women to downplay their desires, soften their emotions, and edit themselves in real time, leaving them disconnected from what they actually wa
499. Coaching Hotline: Explaining Divorce to Your Kids & When People-Pleasing Kills Real Connection
Divorce can be overwhelming, especially when you are trying to figure out how to explain it to your children. In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener's question about the first stage of divorce, talking about it with her kids, and why starting with your thoughts and feelings, not just actions, is what makes the next steps clear.I also tackle a question about people-pleasing and seeki
498. Making Peace with the Human Void
Think about something you really wanted, something you worked for or waited for, or told yourself would finally change how you felt about your life. Maybe it was a job, a relationship, a business milestone, or a body you thought would make you feel confident.And then you got it, and the feeling did not last.That is the human void, and in this episode I explain what it is, why it shows up even afte
497. Coaching Hotline: Managing Your Mind During PMS & Is Disappointment a Cop-Out?
Managing your mind during PMS can feel impossible, even when you know thought work and self-coaching strategies. In this episode, I answer a listener question about how hormonal changes or cyclical patterns affect emotional resilience. I also tackle a question about disappointment and whether feeling let down is a cop-out.As you’ll hear, managing your thoughts and feelings intentionally can change
496. The 3 Words Sabotaging Your Goals & How to Change Them
There is one thought that quietly sabotages almost every goal you care about, and you probably don’t even realize it’s a thought because it sounds like a fact.In this episode, I break down the three words that stop us from following through on what we want and explain why believing this thought can make it feel impossible to achieve the results you are working toward. Plus, I share a three-step pr
495. Coaching Hotline: Stop Romanticizing the Future & Why We Chase People Who Don’t Want Us
Do you ever find yourself planning for the future and imagining how perfect it's going to be? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions about fantasies and expectations. I explore why romanticizing the future can take you out of the present and why trying to control your thoughts about someone else only makes you feel more out of control.I break down how our brains trick us
494. The Six Stages of Change
How many times have you been doing the work, trying to change, and then completely lost it? You yelled at your kids, said yes when you meant no, or spent money you promised yourself you wouldn't, and thought, "I am failing. This is not working. I should just give up." We’ve all done this, which means we’ve all quit on change when we were already in the process, but just couldn’t see it.In this epi
493. Coaching Hotline: Making Friends as an Adult & The Line Between Honesty and People-Pleasing
Making friends as an adult can feel intimidating, especially when it seems like your upbringing didn't give you the skills to navigate social connections. In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions about friendships and social interactions. I explore why it is possible to build friendships while continuing your self-work, and why the story you tell yourself about your friend
492. 3 Keys to Changing Your Thoughts (Greatest Hits)
This week, I break down the three foundational principles that will allow you to coach yourself effectively, no matter where you are on your thought work journey. If you’re new to the podcast, this is an essential episode to ground you in the basics of cognitive change. If you’ve been here a while, I guarantee you’ll hear these keys in a new light, ready to take them deeper.Listen in to discover w
491. Coaching Hotline: Thought Work, Moral Objectivism & The Motivation to Set Goals
What’s the point of setting goals if you already feel how you want to feel? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener question about thought work and goals, and why it can feel like your whole motivational system breaks when you stop chasing goals just to feel differently about yourself.I also answer a question about the philosophical underpinnings of thought work, moral objectivism, a
490. How to Stop Procrastinating - A Better Solution
How many times have you promised yourself that this time you were finally going to stop procrastinating? Maybe you bought another planner to color-code, or scoured the internet for the best productivity tips. You want to solve this problem, but what if procrastination isn't the problem you think it is?In this episode, I show you why procrastination is not a character flaw, a willpower problem, or
489. Coaching Hotline: Social Media Validation & Emotional Vulnerability vs. Thought Work
Social media will happily turn your nervous system into a tiny squirrel hunting for dopamine, my friends. This week, I coach a listener who keeps checking likes and engagement on posts for her business. Instead of treating likes, commissions, creative desire, and income as one tangled emotional knot, I show you how to separate the questions so your brain can stop making Instagram engagement mean e
488. How to Enjoy Sex More: A Conversation with Sex Coach Laura Jurgens
So many women think there’s something wrong with their sex drive, when the real issue is how they’ve been taught to relate to their body. In this episode, I sit down with sex coach Laura Jurgens to explore why low libido is not just a mindset problem or a medical issue, and how repeated experiences, socialization, and nervous system patterns shape your relationship with intimacy.If you’ve been fee
487. Coaching Hotline: Learning to Love Your Body & Navigating Unclear Expectations at Work
Do you struggle to feel at peace with your body when you gain weight? Or worry that gaining weight will result in health issues? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I invite you to challenge the beliefs that weight is synonymous with health and that health is synonymous with morality (spoiler alert, it's not).Then, I tackle a listener question about unclear work expectations and how that impacts the
486. The Last 5% - The Secret to Completing Any Goal
Have you ever gotten so close to a goal, and then one thing to goes wrong, and your brain immediately decide the whole thing was a mistake? That moment right before the finish line is where so many people quit. In this episode, I introduce a concept I call The Last 5% and showing you why your brain is most likely to turn progress into proof that you’re not capable right when you’re closest to gett
485. Coaching Hotline: Managing Anxiety for Loved Ones & Staying Motivated During a Job Search
Does your brain go straight to worst-case scenarios when you think about someone you love, and make you feel like it’s your job to prevent them all? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I coach someone through intense anxiety about their child’s future and explain why believing you are responsible for everything that could happen is what’s actually creating the panic.Then I answer a question about st
484. How to Get Started & Keep Moving - The Infinite 1%
Do you ever tell yourself, “What I’m doing isn’t enough, so I might as well not bother”? That thought is exactly what’s keeping you stuck. In this episode, I’m teaching one of my favorite concepts for getting out of overwhelm and into action: The Infinite 1%. You'll see why doing a little is actually everything.If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by how far you have to go or waiting until you can d
483. Coaching Hotline: Letting Go of Old Grudges & Beliefs About Attractiveness
Why is it so hard to let go of something that happened years ago, even when you know it shouldn’t matter anymore? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I coach someone through what it really takes to release an old grudge without pretending it didn’t hurt.Then I answer a question about attractiveness and the belief that you can control whether other people are attracted to you based on how you present
482. Perfectionist Fantasies + Tomorrow Thinking (Greatest Hits)
Do you keep telling yourself you’ll finally get it together tomorrow, once you feel more ready, more clear, or more “on top of things”?In this episode, I revisit two of the most powerful patterns that keep you stuck: perfectionist fantasies and tomorrow thinking. I break down how your brain convinces you that the reason you’re not taking action today is because conditions aren’t ideal yet, and how
481. Coaching Hotline: Taking Too Long to Orgasm & Stress About Balancing Work, Kids, & Life
Are your thoughts during sex preventing you from reaching orgasm? This is a super common struggle for people socialized as women. We worry about taking too long or our partner getting bored or tired, and those thoughts are exactly what get in the way. In this week’s Coaching Hotline episode, I show you why trying to rush or fix the experience makes it harder, and how to start shifting the thoughts
480. Motivation is a Fuckboy - How to Follow Through Without It
Have you built your entire life around waiting for motivation to text you back? In this episode, I explain why motivation is a fuckboy and why relying on it is the reason you start and stop, stall out, or never follow through on the things that matter most to you. Motivation feels amazing when it shows up, but it disappears the moment things get hard or uncomfortable, and when you treat it like a
479. Coaching Hotline: How to Say No When You Fear Being Rude & When You Can't Change Your Thoughts Yet
Do you worry that saying no makes you rude, selfish, or a bad person? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I break down why what you’ve been taught to call “politeness” is often just people pleasing in disguise, and how that conditioning keeps you stuck in self doubt.Then I answer a question I hear all the time in different forms, what do you do when you understand thought work but you still can’t ch
478. From Global CEO to Higher Pay & a Dahlia Farm: Lisa's Mission Impossible Journey
Have you ever felt stuck in your career or questioned whether you're on the right path? In this episode, I’m joined by my mastermind student Lisa who made the bold decision to transition from being a global CEO to pursuing her passion for running a dahlia farm. Her journey is a testament to the power of reinvention, and we dive into how she navigated that shift.Lisa shares how she was able to tack
477. Coaching Hotline: How to Deal with Fatigue & Which Thoughts to Work on First
Do you ever feel completely exhausted but can’t quite figure out if it’s because your body is physically tired or if it’s the thoughts in your head making everything worse? In this week's Coaching Hotline episode, I dive into the complex relationship between physical fatigue and mental thoughts, and how you can shift your thinking no matter how tired you are.Then, I dive into a question that comes
476. Releasing Caretaking Guilt for the Sandwich Generation
Have you ever been caring for someone you love and suddenly felt resentful, exhausted, or completely overwhelmed? And then immediately thought, “What kind of person feels this way?” In this episode, I talk about the emotional reality of caregiving, especially for those of us in the Sandwich Generation who are supporting aging parents while also raising kids, managing careers, and trying to hold ou
475. Coaching Hotline: Feeling Defensive v Accepting Feedback & How to Know When You've Coached Yourself Correctly
Does receiving feedback make you feel instantly defensive, embarrassed, or like you’ve done something terribly wrong?In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions about how to handle criticism at work and how to know when you’ve coached yourself “correctly.” You’ll learn how to manage your mind around feedback, understand why feeling defensive is optional, and recognize that so
474. Want a Better Financial Life? Don't Marry a Loser: A Conversation with Vivian Tu
What if one of the most important financial decisions you ever make isn’t about investing, saving, or budgeting... but about who you choose as your partner?In this episode, I’m joined by Vivian Tu, also known as Your Rich BFF, 2x New York Times bestselling author, and host of the podcast Networth and Chill. We discuss why money is not just about survival but about power, choice, and freedom. Vivia
473. Coaching Hotline: What If I'm Truly Ugly & Stupid - & Are Vibrations Real?
Does your brain love to tell you you're ugly, incapable, or untalented? What if it's right? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I dive into a listener’s question about those persistent negative thoughts that tell us we’re not good enough. You’ll discover why it doesn't actually matter if they are objectively true or not, and why intentionally deciding how you think about yourself does.I also answer
472. How Equanimity Can Strengthen Your Mind & Save the World: A Conversation with Margaret Cullen
If you feel like the world is on fire and the only appropriate response is constant outrage, this conversation will stretch you in the best way. I talk with psychotherapist and author Margaret Cullen about equanimity, what it actually means, and why it is not the same thing as apathy or disengagement. We unpack the idea that you can care deeply, take action, and still refuse to live in a state of
471. Coaching Hotline: Teaching Thought Work to Teens & Managing Phobias
Have you ever tried to teach thought work to someone you love, only to have them completely reject it? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a question from a mom who wants her teenage son to benefit from thought work but keeps running into pushback. I explain why 15 is not too young to understand emotional processing, but it is old enough to resist being coached without permission.I also ans
470. Your Emotional Compass, Guilt & Shame (Greatest Hits)
Do you make decisions based on what you actually want, or based on what would make you feel the least guilty? In this Greatest Hits episode, I break down how guilt and shame quietly become the emotional compass guiding our everyday choices, from small obligations to major life decisions, and why that often leaves us exhausted, resentful, or stuck.I share how women in particular are socialized to t
469. Coaching Hotline: When You Don't Want to Have Sex & Social Events Feel Draining
Do social events drain you? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I dive into a listener's question about feeling exhausted at social events and why small talk often feels boring. I explore how your thoughts are creating that experience and why the key to enjoying social gatherings starts with shifting your mindset.I also tackle a question about feeling like you have no desire for sex, and how to work
468. How to Microdose Negative Emotions & Become Unstoppable
Do you find yourself avoiding negative emotions at all costs, distracting yourself with food, Netflix, or your phone? What if you could build the capacity to feel any emotion, no matter how uncomfortable, and still keep moving forward? In this episode, I’m diving into the concept of microdosing negative emotions and why this practice is the key to becoming unstoppable.Instead of pushing away the d
467. Coaching Hotline: Is My Relationship Toxic? & Handling Health Anxiety
Do you feel like you’re stuck in a toxic relationship, but aren’t sure if it’s really the relationship or just your thoughts? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I dive into a listener’s question about how to tell if your relationship is toxic and how much of the issue comes down to your own thinking.I also tackle a question on health anxiety, where the listener is worried that their weight isn’t go
466. Numbing Out to Avoid Our Feelings: A Conversation with Rachel Hart (Greatest Hits)
How many times have you turned to Netflix, shopping, or a glass of wine to avoid feeling something uncomfortable? This is a pattern so many of us get stuck in. In this episode, I’m joined by my best friend, Master Certified Life Coach Rachel Hart, to explore why we do this and what actually helps us change it.This episode is the perfect starting point for understanding why we numb our emotions in
465. Coaching Hotline: Hating Your Career Choice & Feeling Empty Inside
Do you ever look at your life on paper and think, I should feel proud of this, while inside you feel trapped, empty, or quietly panicked? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a question from a listener who hates her career choice and feels crushed by debt, regret, and the belief that she ruined her life by making the “wrong” decision.In the second question, I address what it means to feel nu
464. Why You Never “Deserve” or “Don't Deserve” Anything, Ever
There’s a word many of us use to feel validated or justified that actually keeps us stuck in self-doubt. Whether it sounds like “I deserve this” or “maybe I don’t deserve that,” this way of thinking quietly turns your life into a moral evaluation instead of a place where you get to make choices.In this episode, I explain why the idea of “deserving” is a mental trap and how it reinforces shame, sec
463. Coaching Hotline: Believing Your Body is Attractive & Learning to Identify Your Emotions
When you’ve spent most of your adult life believing your body has to look a certain way to be desirable, it can feel impossible to think anything different. In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener who feels stuck believing her body must change for men to be attracted to her, even after years of thought work.I also respond to a question about struggling to identify emotions beyond anx
462. How to Fail and Get Back Up Again (Greatest Hits)
Do you ever fall off a goal, get back on, and then fall off again in the exact same way? In this episode, I explain why setbacks aren’t the problem and why the way you respond to them determines whether you actually make progress or quietly give up.You'll hear why simply vowing to “do better next time” doesn’t work, how shame blocks analysis, and how the combination of self-compassion and strategy
461. Coaching Hotline: Clothing Confidence & Needing Reassurance in Dating
Do you ever feel like if you could just find the right outfit, you’d finally feel confident? Or like the only way to calm your anxiety in dating is to get reassurance from the person you’re seeing?In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions that show how easy it is to look outside yourself for emotional safety. You’ll learn how to stop outsourcing your confidence to clothes o
460. How to Get Your Financial Footing in Crazy Times: A Conversation with Tori Dunlap
When the world feels financially chaotic, it’s easy to slip into survival mode and feel like money is the only thing standing between you and safety. To explore why this happens and how to create a steadier sense of financial safety, I’m joined by New York Times bestselling author, Tori Dunlap.Together, we talk about the systemic barriers women face, the guilt around wanting more, and why avoiding
459. Coaching Hotline: When to Accept Reality & How to Handle Jealousy in Polyamory
Ever wonder if you are pushing toward a bold goal or just fighting reality and wearing yourself out? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener question about how to tell the difference between challenging limits and ignoring real constraints like your energy, time, and capacity.I also answer a question about jealousy in polyamory and what to do when you feel physically activated watchi
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