Home Podcasts I Love You I Kill You

I Love You I Kill You

I Love You I Kill You 26 Episodes Jul 11, 2025

I Love You I Kill You is a comedy podcast hosted by a couple who humorously discuss the funny ways they'd murder each other. Blending murder mystery themes with relationship banter, they explore the annoying quirks that make long-term partners want to kill one another. Each episode features playful hypotheticals about dispatching a significant other, from freezing them in an ice bath to trapping them in a giant pot of Venus flytraps. It's a lighthearted, darkly funny take on dating and annoyance, positioning itself as a unique murder-comedy show for couples.

Episodes

Give Up the Need to ALWAYS Be Right Jul 11, 2025 00:57:43 We got Danny Z on the pod. This guy is an up and comer on the scene. If you are listening you might be asking, who is this Italian man I am listening to. Well, guess what, he may sound like some Italian guido fella, but he is as Arabic as they come. PLOT TWIST. Enjoy the episode!

Grown Men Don't Care about Birthdays Jul 3, 2025 01:17:46 Amer hangs out with old reliable Joel Slavik. They talk some good stuff. Two good old boys talking about the world's troubles and a bit of their own. Enjoy!

Dentist HORROR STORIES! May 4, 2024 00:31:34 This episode is all about the grossest and worst dentist stories. You forget the poor dentist has to look INTO our mouths when they work. Not all of us have pretty little holes in our heads. Some of us neglect our teeth until they are rotting piles of garbage. This whole ep is dedicated to the animals of the world that won't brush their teeth. Stories like foreign objects growing in someone&#3

Tragedy at a Music Festival Apr 19, 2024 00:33:59 HELLO ROCKERS! We talked about Gabriel's outing to a Queen's of the Stoneage concert so we made this episode all about death at a concert! Gabriel tells a story about the death of Meredith Curly Hunter Jr. at the Altamont Speedway Festival where he was murdered during the Rolling Stones show. It is a tragic but incredibly captivating story that has been brought up in popular culture for de

What would it take to K*LL a Co-Worker? Apr 10, 2024 00:41:37 This is all about murder in the work place. You know how you have annoying coworkers that keep on stealing the yogurt you were saying for lunch? BANG! What a way to get fired am I right? This is a great episode to listen to while at work. Great stories all dealing with murder at the work place! RATE US 5 stars on all your apps!

Choking on Eggs over Easter Weekend Mar 29, 2024 00:35:58 Welcome and Happy Easter everyone! This is a great episode, you're so lucky to hear it for the first time, ever! We talk about crimes commited over Easter weekend. One of which is the 'Easter Sunday Mass*cre'. A story about a son overshadowed by his brother who takes matters into his own hands and gets revenge. And a slightly light-hearted story: 'The Hatton Garden Robberies'.

Is Voyeurism such a HORRIBLE crime? Mar 19, 2024 00:31:00 We talk all things voyeur in this episode. Gabriel got himself a pair of binoculars and he can't stop spying on the neighbors. If he continues on this path he might end up seeing something he wish he hadn't! We talk about 3 different cases that have to do with either witnessing a crime, peeping toms and the Bystander Effect. Very interesting stuff in this episode. We cap it off with how we

Getting Sloppy on the Slopes of Aspen Mar 12, 2024 00:30:54 We talk about a murder on the ski slopes on this episode of I Love You I Kill You. We love skiing so we think about creative ways we would kill each other while shooting down the mountain at top speed. We also discuss 3 devious stories that all take place near or on the slopes! It's a great ep and you should tell everyone you know about this fine podcast!

Bored to Death watching Dune 2 Mar 5, 2024 00:24:37 One of us wants to get into Dune and the other would rather die than get into Dune. Isn't an audiobook of the classic Sci-fi novel where every character has their own voice-over artist sound interesting? It does to one nerd and the other person not so much. This episode is all about boring someone to death. We also go over stories where three people were led to their demise through boredom of

The Engagement ring dipped in Poison (First episode back!) Feb 26, 2024 00:32:22 We are back after a 2 and a half year break! This episode is all about murderous spouses and couples. There killer old grannies, vanishing brides and the engagement ring I bought for my fiancé dipped in poison. You do not want to miss this episode! Rate us 5 stars and tell your friends. Okay bye!

My Valentine Murder - ILYIKY 16 Feb 14, 2021 00:18:21 Happy Valentine's Day! In this ep we talk about what we would do on our perfect Valentine's Day and how it would end in MURDER! Thanks for listening. If you want to watch video versions of ILYIKY I started uploading them on http://youtube.com/c/gabrielomassi Thank you!

What's for dinner? - ILYIKY 15 Jan 30, 2021 00:23:21 Doesn't it get you angry when your partner can't make up their mind what they'd like for dinner. Does it make you so angry that you want to murder them? Well, come on in, grab a seat and enjoy this meal! Try not to choke on the bones! Tell your friends! To watch video versions of the podcast check out http://youtube.com/c/gabrielomassi We started uploading episodes there!

Shower Murder is Sexy - ILYIKY 14 Jan 7, 2021 00:21:32 SORRY! It's been a hot minute since the last episode. We know there are plenty of young boys and girls who wanna hear their favorite Aunt and Uncle murder each other while drinking a glass of chardonnay. This episode we talk about shower murder. We cover an actual murder that took place in the shower and movies that feature murders that were in showers. Please enjoy!!! Subscribe!Follow Gabriel Oma

Hank Hill is going to get you! - ILYIKY 13 Nov 24, 2020 00:18:34 SEND us an email! We want to read them on the podcast! iloveyouikillyoupodcast@gmail.com Your favorite murder stories! King of the Hill is the topic of this episode! What is more spookier than Hank Hill coming to murder you? We talk a lot about how Claire is annoyed at how much I watch and quote King of the Hill and comes up with ways she'd kill me based on the series. Please enjoy! Also Subscribe

Can't cook to save your LIFE - ILYIKY 12 Nov 14, 2020 00:14:33 Sorry, Sorry, Sorry! We were so busy we couldn't record any eps. We promise that will never happen again! Please enjoy this episode about how I stink at cooking so much it could murder a person!!! Follow us on youtube! And follow Gabriel Omassi on Youtube as well! Thank you!!!

He loves his bird more than he loves me! - ILYIKY 11 Oct 25, 2020 00:17:11 We talk about how I am obsessed with my pet bird. He's a cute little guy and I have a great time with him. Claire is very jealous of this bird because she has to spend all her time alone in her room working. We talk about ways we can use this little parrot as device FOR MURDER!!! Hope you enjoy this episode. This True Crime podcast meets Relationship Advice. Never been done before! Send us an emai

Your voice is a torture Device - ILYIKY#10 Oct 19, 2020 00:17:11 OMG WE MADE IT TO 10 EPISODES. We know this one is late. We promise to be on time from now on. This episode is about how Claire and I are trapped in the same apartment 24 hours a day due to our city-wide Covid lockdown. At a certain point of every day she yells I'm hungry!!! And it's been going on for weeks. I start to believe she is torturing me slolwy with her own voice. Like something you would

So fresh and so Clean -ILYIKY #9 Oct 9, 2020 00:23:57 One thing that really bugs Claire is how I never put my toothbrush away after using it. I'm not sure how one would murder with a toothbrush. Perhaps we should asked someone in Prison. They are toothbrush murder EXPERTS! You can fashion one into a knife and really have some fun. Wow! What a podcast, probably our best one yet. Maybe. Please follow us on Youtube! And subscribe to the podcast! Rate, R

Murder at IKEA! - ILYIKY #8 Oct 4, 2020 00:24:38 Everyone likes IKEA. Some people love IKEA. And some people are obsessed with IKEA... Claire is obsessed. Going to IKEA is her favorite outing. If it were up to her, every weekend would be spent going to IKEA and picking out a new set of decorative pillows. I think IKEA would be a great place for a horror movie. Where she is chased by evil IKEA murderers. It's a fun drunken episode! Subscribe to o

Eating a Packet of Bacon a DAY - ILYIKY #7 Sep 25, 2020 00:27:23 So, while Claire was away in Jolly Old England. I had a lot of time all by myself. What I decided to do was to eat everything that was in the fridge and everything that was at the grocery store. The result is me gaining over 15 pounds in less than a month. Now I have decided to count my calories and lose the weight. Claire is annoyed by how disciplined I am and wishes to kill me. Please follow us

Lizzo's Boyfriend Problems is the Human in Me - ILYIKY #6 Sep 19, 2020 00:25:43 SORRY SORRY SORRY! WE missed a week. We had some quarantine issues we had to deal with. But we are back baby!!! This episode we talk about a Lizzo song that is stuck in Claire's head. She sings it over and over and I want to commit a murder/suicide. Good thing this is exactly what this show is about. Finding stuff that really annoy you about your partner and talking about how we would kill them wi

Get that stupid house plant out of here - I LOVE YOU I KILL YOU #5 Sep 4, 2020 00:19:17 How many houseplants is too many houseplants? Is 11 too many? YES! Yes is the answer. Questions come up like can a plant be poisonous to kill my significant other? Can I put them in a large Venus Flytrap? Will the plant snitch on me? Why are you obsessed with a certain type of houseplant? Please subsribe to our feed for more episodes! And look us up on youtube!!

How Would You Kill me with Your Socks? - I Love You I Kill You #4 Aug 26, 2020 00:16:53 Don't you hate it when your dumb boyfriend leaves their stinking socks lying around the house? Well I'm that dumb boyfriend! How would you kill someone with those stinking socks? Gag them? Strangle them? Light one on fire? Would you start a murderous sock puppet show? Wow! If you have things that bother you about your spouse let us know! Email us at iloveyouikillyoupodcast@gmail.com And subsribe!!

Can I Kill My Love with a Pillow? - I Love You I Kill You #3 Aug 20, 2020 00:15:59 Do you think you can kill someone with a pillow? What if this pillow is a really annoying unnecessary decorative pillow that no one can use anyway? We mostly talk about killing each other but it's out of love. Questions like: Are decorative pillows even pillows if you can't put your head one them? Is it easier to kill someone with that kind annoying of pillow? It's basically a relationship podcast

How can I kill my Love with a Fork? - I Love You I Kill You #2 Aug 18, 2020 00:14:53 In this episode, killing someone with a fork is the main topic. We mostly talk about killing each other but it's out of love. Questions like: How would you kill your boyfriend? How would you kill someone with a fork? Can a fork kill someone? Can I kill someone with a fork? Can I kill my boyfriend with a fork? You know, all the important questions. It's basically a relationship crossed with murder

How can I Kill You with an Ice Cube? - I Love You I Kill You #1 Aug 12, 2020 00:16:44 A Love and Relationship podcast Hosted by a loving couple meets creative ways we would murder each other. Usually with the things that annoy us about each other. Love!!

I Love You I Kill You

Episodes

Recommended