ask a sub
Ask a Sub is an advice podcast hosted by Lina Dune for people curious about kink and BDSM. The show focuses on helping listeners move from dreaming about kink to actually trying it. Dune presents the idea of 'wellness kink' and aims to give every potential kinkster the tools they need to become their own BDSM BFF.
Episodes
184. Pervertibles For The People
A caller wants to know how to do kink on a budget so STRAP IN because Lina is fresh off a tear through the outer rings of reddit with vetted ideas and strategies not only for creating your own pervertibles out of everyday objects, but for how to make smart, budget-conscious decisions about what size of flogger to splurge on when you've saved your pennies. Just please, for the love of god, do not p
180. Chronic Kinkster Community In Action
A caller has just gone through a breakup and is facing down a new chronic illness diagnosis all at once, and wants to know how to incorporate kink into life when everything feels like too much. Lina tag teams this question using the wisdom of the #chronic-kinksters channel on the Ask A Sub Discord server, focusing on how to curate an expansive mindset while still making sure you're getting your ne
179. Grey's Journey Pt. 3: Break That Binary Open
Introducing our new series, Kink Journeys, where each week we'll follow a listener of pod as they go through a pivotal moment in their journey. This week, we're closing out Grey's journey with some very exciting summer news, a scene that brought the educator within to the surface, and a manifesto for the future of Grey's drag. Follow him at @greytheteaman. Lina & Mr. Dune's Pillion convo is availa
178. Grey's Journey Pt. 2: The Duality of Being Known
Introducing our new series, Kink Journeys, where each week we'll follow a listener of pod as they go through a pivotal moment in their journey. This week, we're catching up with Grey as he heads out in the midst of a snowstorm, ready to be PERCEIVED. Where? Where else but a Heated Rivalry rave. The horny queers are out, and your boy is among them. Tune in to see what happens, and follow him at @gr
177. Grey's Journey Pt. 1: How Does an Adult Man F*ck?
Introducing our new series, Kink Journeys, where each week we'll follow a listener of pod as they go through a pivotal moment in their journey. This week we meet Grey, a trans man at the beginning of his medical transition who's seeking to answer the eternal questions in life — how do we take up space while still finding ourselves? How binary should gender even be? And, most importantly, how does
176. Kinky Rejection… Worse Than Death? (Sources Say Yes)
A caller wants to know why kinky rejection hurts more than any other rejection and wonders if maybe, possibly, there's a way to avoid it?? Asking for a friend?? Lina gets into some solid reasons why the ouch is so ouch, how to make it ouch in a good way, and how to apply some time-honored strategies to healing the ouch. Say 'ouch' again…. Ouch. Lina is currently on maternity leave! If you're curio
175. M's Journey Pt. 3: It's That Slow Burn Bullshit
Introducing our new series, Kink Journeys, where each week we'll follow a listener of pod as they go through a pivotal moment in their journey. This week, we hear the final installment of M's journey, and learn about what roles softball, juggalos, and witchcraft have to play in a life well lived in a room of one's own. Lina is currently on maternity leave! If you're curious about all that, she has
174. M's Journey Pt. 2: Sit With the Itch
Introducing our new series, Kink Journeys, where each week we'll follow a listener of pod as they go through a pivotal moment in their journey. This week, we're catching up with M a few months on from her first interview, to check in on her new life and cheer her on in her self care. Lina is currently on maternity leave! If you're curious about all that, she has curated a series of written posts
173. M's Journey Pt. 1: The Worst Breakup Ever
Introducing our new series, Kink Journeys, where each week we'll follow a listener of pod as they go through a pivotal moment in their journey. This week, we meet M as she navigates the wreckage of what is truly one of the worst breakups Lina has ever heard about. But in spite of the male audacity in this episode, we promise you'll be inspired by M's humor, witchy wisdom, and iconic penchant for c
172. A Beautiful Evil Pouring Out Of Me with Miss Gold
This month on the Deep Dive series, we're graced with the presence of one of London's preeminent kink queens Miss Gold — Dominatrix, photographer and creator of the iconic One Night parties.. She shares with us how her SW career has influenced her photographic gaze, her specialty in *the kink* most people list as their hardest of hard limits, and her thoughts on mothering be it of humans or hand-r
171. You Can't Step In The Same River Of Pee Twice
A caller is doing trauma therapy and wants a good lens to explain the value of kink in their healing journey. In response, Lina checks in on how we're interpreting the word 'healing' when it comes to kink (ableism — be gone!), gives some reflections on what kinds of messages our bodies give us in scenes, and somehow in the midst of that coined the phrase that is our episode title this week, once a
170. Daddy Is A State Of Mind
In honor of U.K. father's day we're getting into 'Daddy' as an honorific, whether it always implies age play (Sometimes? Yes? No?) and how nobody has to do anything they don't want to do but maybe getting curious is what saves us all from the shame monsters. Get the Summer Deep Dive schedule here Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub benefits including our discord server, ar
169. Don't Throw The Therapist Out With The Bathwater
A listener wants to know what to do about their well-meaning but vanilla therapist, and in response Lina earns her gold star Therapist's Favorite badge by exploring the ins and outs of the therapeutic relationship, how to resource your therapist and yourself, and takes a weirdly polyamory-informed stance on getting your needs met. Links: A Walker In LA | Murder Mystery Yacht Orgy | Summer Deep
168. I'm Coming Out Of My Cage - Wait Put Me Back In The Cage
167. Lubing Up The Flirting Dipstick
This week we're doing a refresher on flirting so Lina can assist you all into getting into more trouble to keep the questions coming for the pod — vertical integration!! That's how that works, right?? Either way, we're talking about flirting by zodiac sign (helpful even if you're a grumpy Capricorn that doesn't believe in astrology), flirting to bring forward your most authentic self, and flirting
166. High Volume Orgasms: Blessing Or Curse?
A caller wants to know whether their miraculous gift of nonstop orgasms is hindering them from long term partnership — really goes to show one person's dream scenario (Lina's) is another person's anxiety (this caller's)! Lina talks about the joys of dating high-volume cummers, lists practical tips for Domming and topping these lucky ducks, and shares how the patriarchy infects all of us when we im
165. Quick Hits: "Straight-Passing" Queer Couple Spring Is Here
These week callers want to know how to welcome the springtime, how to enjoy/not enjoy the Met Gala, hack quiet sex, and, of course, see Lina lose it over exclusionary privileged queers being weird about who's allowed to use the label. Pull up a chair to the burn sesh (with love). Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub benefits including our discord server, archive of premium
164. Submission But Not Like THAT
A listener is recovering from a religious culture that expected submission from women by default — how, then, can she trust her desire to be submissive in a consensual D/s dynamic? This week we're talking self trust, healing through kink, and Lina's deep desire to physically harm this caller's ex (for legal reasons this is a joke - ha ha) Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub
163. Hedonism is a Moral Imperative with S.T. Gibson
On this month's Deep Dive, we're joined by S.T. Gibson, bestselling author of A Dowry of Blood, Savage Blooms, and more, who also hosts the Metaphysical Girl podcast/substack. Her approach to fantasy is intellectual, informed by her background in theology and deep thought about queerness and our insatiable hungers. Join us for our thoughts on fairies, vampires, and what to say to local river. To g
162. Vanilla Dating Is Not A Pre-Requisite For Kink Dating
Ahhh vanilla dating…. Well, it mainly sucks. Jk! Maybe not! Either way, it's not something you have to do before you get to be kinky. It's good to know what you want and go after it, and treat each experience as information to be collected along the way. Except for that time Lina went on a vanilla date with a guy who Venmo requested her $2 for a hot dog while she was in the uber home from his apar
161. How To Be A 24/7 Sub When You're Like… Really Pissed At Your Dom
What happens in a long-term 24/7 dynamic when you, as a sub, get so fuckin pissed that you just need a MINUTE to collect yourself before resuming your tasks?!?! Lina gets into the communication tools that can hold us and our dynamic in moments of conflict so when you come back from your grumpy space walk the space ship is still in pretty good shape. Join us for the Deep Dive with author S.T. Gibso
160. When You Break Up With A Dom Who Looms Large
A caller wants to know how to feel confident as a sub in your local scene after a friendship breakup with a Dom who seems to be the golden boy of said scene. We talk about how to claim space that's rightly yours, not give Doms too much power after a dynamic has ended, and how to remember no one is thinking about anything but themselves! But in a freeing way! Join us for the Deep Dive with author S
159. Exploring Our Darker, Stranger Drives with Anastasiia Fedorova
On this month's Deep Dive, we're joined by Anastasiia Fedorova, author of Second Skin: Inside The Worlds of Fetish, Kink, and Deviant Desire. We talked about how capitalism and commodity culture influence fetishism, how to become archivists of our experience, and we took some time to compare and contrast the vibes of the Foot Guys at various kink parties across the globe. To get the full version o
158. Let's Talk About Latex!
What if you wanted to wear a raincoat but like…. in a weird way?? In anticipation of our upcoming Deep Dive with Anastasiia Fedorova, author of Second Skin: Inside The Worlds of Fetish, Kink, and Deviant Desire, we're revisiting an old episode all about rubber and latex! If you're a fetishist of any kind, or just a little fetish curious, check out this link to join that discussion on Sunday, March
157. Responsible Mess Management
We're all a mess rn. How do we share our messy selves with others messy selves without making too much of a mess?? It's the question of the day and Lina uses her mess to make an attempt at an answer. Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub benefits including our discord server, archive of premium audio and written posts, as well as our new podcast within a podcast, OTK with Lin
156. My Dudes! My Guys! My Bros!
What is a Nice Guy™ to do when the sub he's playing with refuses to enumerate her wants/needs? Is it pressure-y to insist on a discussion? And, more broadly, how are nice and good men supposed to operate as Doms? Lina chimes in this week on one of her favorite subjects — Men! Not to bash them, but to encourage them along the road to constructive masculinity and their best selves. Become a Patreon
155. Quick Hits: British ≠ English, Grief = Horny
On this month's Quick Hits we're talking about how Lina and Mr. Dune take their tea, and how to put yourself out there at kinky parties, when you're a little tender, and most especially when you're grieving. You don't have to be perfect to be loved, but you MOST CERTAINLY may NOT put the milk in before the tea is steeped!! Twin Cities Rent Relief: https://gofund.me/442fc6781 The Great Milk Debate
154. How To Tell If Someone Is Kinky (No Telepathy Needed)
A listener wants to know how to tell if someone is kinky without having to ask. You guessed it, you do still have to ask, but there are subtle ways of sussing out the bedroom habits of your hot, competent coworker without immediately entering lawsuit territory. Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub benefits including our discord server, archive of premium audio and written p
153. Does A 'Pleasure Dom' Imply The Existence Of A… Not-Pleasure Dom?
Some thoughts on the implications of the words we use to signal safety, pontifications on whether 'Pleasure Doms' are inadvertent pick-mes, and another battle cry on how you deserve pleasure, respect, and softness even if your kink is hard and scary. We don't all have to be sunny, happy carebears…. Some of us are evil carebears that wear black and get stepped on. Substack post on The Chronology Of
152. Pro-Submission with Alexis O'Kneel
Pro-sub Alexis O'Kneel joins us to discuss a little-known facet of the Oldest Profession, and how pro-subs can be a resource to all members of the kink community. Even people who have been slighted by waitresses and want to alchemize their experience into horny mutual fun. You know, #JustCanadianThings. To get the full version of this episode Join Patreon at $11/month or substack at $8/month. Subs
151. If You Want The Juice, You Gotta Show 'Em The Whole Fruit
We're inventing idioms on the Ask A Sub podcast once again, and this time we're talking about how to balance a desire for a long-term relationship with sorting out kink compatibility. We also talk about how easy 'easy' is supposed to be, prioritizing your priorities, and how to go to the tide pools and come out with the exact pufferfish you want. It makes sense if you listen, we swear!! Become a P
150. Zen and the Art of Not Trauma Dumping
What if our baggage from the vanilla world could be taken away as easily as selling something on Facebook Marketplace? Until that time, Lina provides a rubric and several measuring sticks (??) for evaluating methods of sharing your stuff with partners that feels interdependent rather than trauma dump-y. Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub benefits including our discord ser
149. Quick Hits: Clubs, Cults, and Sexual Favors
We're back with another Quick Hits episode! This time we're talking about how to get slammed in a hockey-coded way, how to tell if your kinky commune is a cult, and how to negotiate a relationship where your boundaries are no boundaries! Join us! Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub benefits including our discord server, archive of premium audio and written posts, as well as
148. New Year, Same Heated Rivalry with Danielle Belazel
We're back with a shared full episode (no snippet!) with the Sex Ed with DB podcast, talking all about everyone's favorite smutty gay hockey show, HEATED RIVALRY! Danielle and I discuss the secret sauce that's making the whole internet so feral for this show, and some practical tips for how to use lubricant when the show may have edited that kind of thing out. Why The Girls Want To Look At The Ga
147. Getting Your Bag (Ethically!)
A caller is struggling with accepting money for Domination services, and understandably so! But this week we're talking about how to get the rent paid on the journey to the social utopia of which we all dream. Idk, my revolution involves getting a spa treatment here and there, especially if you're hard at work stepping on people. Mistress Velvet | Panel with Jill Carter | The Carter Johnson Libr
146. This Sex Cult Stole Our Sh*t! With Natalie Robehmed of Allison After NXIVM
This month on the Deep Dive series we're joined by journalist Natalie Robehmed, whose exclusive access to Allison Mack after her time in prison culminated in the podcast Allison After NXIVM. We'll explore the fine line between victim and perpetrator, and maybe roast the volleyball thing just a little bit. Cult Support Resources from CultRecovery101.com Gift Ask A Sub! Patreon | Substack | Courses
145. JennaWorld & Why We're So Weird About Porn with Molly Lambert
This week we're joined buy Molly Lambert, host of the JennaWorld podcast all about Jenna Jameson, Vivid Video, & The Valley. We track the recent history of porn from kid Rock's open fandom to today's manosphere no-nut phenomenon and once again come to the surprising conclusion that capitalism is the problem. Gift Ask A Sub! Patreon | Substack | Courses (code GIFTGUIDE40 for 40% off) | Office Hour
144. Noelle Perdue Is A Pervert (Not Derogatory)
Noelle Perdue, writer of the PORN WORLD substack and noted Thinker of Thoughts joins us on the pod this week to break down the porn industry, the power of performance, and unexpected uses for the hobby horse you left in your parents' attic. Gift subscriptions!! Substack / Patreon To get the full version of this episode Join Patreon at $11/month or substack at $8/month. Subscribe to the subby subs
143. Consciously Un-Subbing
A listener wants to know how to curate a conscious breakup, and Lina speaks to the unusual amount of D/s ghosts she's heard about lately. THE ASK A SUB GIFT GUIDE - Get your person a gift subscription or package of office hours! Or an online course! 'Healing Is Making Us Mean' by Gloria Alamrew Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub benefits including our discord server, arc
142. Quick Hits: Emily Tied-To-A-Post (And Whipped!)
This week Lina puts on her etiquette hat to solve the age-old issue of who cleans up after a scene! Also included are Mr. Dune reading assignments, a happy switching story, and bizarre kinks. Read the substack article here. Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub benefits including our discord server, archive of premium audio and written posts, as well as our new podcast withi
141. Your Partner Is Not A McDonald's Soft Serve Machine
What happens when you have to take a pause but centuries of social conditioning tell you you're not allowed to stop until your partner comes?? Follow Lina into the McDonald's drive-through and out of the endless reassurance spiral as we swirl together one of the weirder combinations of heartfelt advice and inappropriate imagery ever served up on this pod. Become a Patreon member to gain access to
140. Now Write 'Submissive ≠ Passive' 50 Times On The Blackboard While I Pelt Chalk At You
Lina takes the mic this week to clarify a misunderstanding about the responsibility of subs in D/s dynamics, how both partners can bring 100%, and once again breaks the bad news that, yes, we have to talk to people about what we want if we want to get it (EW!). If you're looking for Halloween stuff, sign up for a paid membership on patreon or substack to get Lina and Mr. Dune talking about the Hel
139. How To F*ck Like A Girl with Vera Blossom
How DO you f*ck like a girl?? Vera Blossom has the answers in her debut essay collection by the same name, a trans coming of age that reads like an epic poem made out with a tumblr blog in a public bathroom. We talk passing vs creating, being Elvis Presley's long lost son, and staring into the swirling chaos at the center of the earth through estrogen-tinted glasses. Pick your gender of the day an
138. The Non-Verbal Mambo
Lina is back and we're easing you back in with a medium-unhinged episode title & a discussion about how to bolster communication among the neurospicy folks in your dynamic (insert us, the caller, their partner, and all of you into the classic pointing Spiderman meme — it's all of us). Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub benefits including our discord server, archive of pre
137. Kink Event Girl! Put The Bass In Your Walk, Head To Toe Let Your Whole Body Talk
Hey raccoons! Lina's still away on her meditation retreat so it's Mr. Dune again. Don't worry, Lina will be back next week (she's coming home tomorow 🎉) and the episode titles and descriptions will resume some semblance of capability and normalcy. But more importantly yes of course I love drag race. I have a pulse, don't I? This week, a first time long time caller rings up to ask Lina's advice on
136. Switch On Me Once, Shame On.. Shame On You. Switch On Me Twice... A Switch Can't Get Switched On Again
Hey ya'll, Lina's off on a meditation retreat out of cell phone range so it's Mr. Dune's job to write up the title and the podcast description for this week's episode, so please don't blame Lina for this week's cursed-ness. A very thoughtful caller rings Lina up for her musings on switches and switchiness and Lina dives fearlessly back and forth across the slash for answers and as always is wonder
135. From the Subby Archives: The Origins Of The Folsom Street Fair
In honor of the Folsom Street Fair happening this weekend, we're rummaging through the Ask a Sub Supply Closet full of lube and butt plugs to bring you this gem on the history of the fair, so cue up some disco and put on your finest assless chaps, we're taking a walking tour of the heart of leather culture in the 1970's - San Francisco's South of Market neighborhood and the many bars, clubs, and b
134. Living Truthfully on an Imaginary First Date
Ok so if kink isn't role play for you but you want to inject some role play in your kink… what the heck do you do? This Hellraiser-style puzzle box has summoned Lina from beyond the grave to ponder the ins and outs of living truthfully in imaginary circumstances, appropriate wig usage, and what to do if someone forgets to feed the cat. Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub be
133. The Wonderful World of Thuddy Impact Toys
A listener wants to enter THE THUD ZONE *guitar solo* *flames* *monster truck* and Lina activates her Special Interest mode to outline what makes a toy thuddy, why masochists love them, what to buy, and how to use them safely. Lina & Mr. Dune's Thuddy Recs: The Ball Crop | Paddle | Lolly Crop The Reddit Thread To share your kink journey, please send me an email at lina@askasub.com Become a Pa
132. In Praise Of Pickiness
When are we being too picky with our play partners? Listen, nothing is perfect, but if your ick is "doesn't respect my boundaries" or "is unsafe" … time to yeet. Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub benefits including our discord server, archive of premium audio and written posts, as well as our new podcast within a podcast, OTK with Lina and Mr. Dune. Submit questions for t
131. Ugly Sex with Margeaux Feldman AKA Softcore Trauma
Margeaux Feldman joined me for a deep dive into their work around trauma, sexuality, chronic illness, and queerness. Get Margeaux's upcoming book 'Touch Me I'm Sick' at your local indie bookstore or wherever books are sold. Follow Margeaux: Substack | Instagram Catch Margeaux on book tour in September and October! Schedule here. To get the full version of this episode Join Patreon at $11/month or
130. The Republican Dommy Mommy Archetype
Today Lina reads a piece that's popping off on her substack about the intersection of The Hunting Wives, Susan Sontag, fascism, and Leather aesthetics. Why are we horny for what scares us? Well step right up to the erotic kaleidoscope and peer in at Malin Akerman's very Victoria's Secret-coded thongs with me. Read the article here | Get Elizabeth Rose Quinn's book Follow Me LAUREN BOEBERT AT THE
129. On Not Turning Your Daddy Into Your Dad
A caller has gone no contact with her parents and wants to know how to be mindful with not projecting that trauma on her Daddy Dom. As a bit of an expert on this topic, Lina discusses the ins and outs of codependence versus interdependence, and caring for your inner child as revenge on the cunts who did this to you and the dicks responsible. Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A
128. Is Everybody Frickin' Poly Or What??
It's summer. It's hot. It's sexy. And what's more hot and sexy than… endless scheduling and calendars? A caller wants to know how to stay sane while single and it seems that everyone in the dating pool is already partnered. Answer? Maybe some people need to take a hard look at their poly saturation point!! Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub benefits including our discord
127. The Things You Cannot Unsee In Public Play Spaces (And Why You Should See *Some* Of Them)
We got a write-in question from a Patreon member wondering how to prepare for a big public kink event like Folsom, and Lina gets into creating a plan for regulation, connection, and what to do when you get super horny seeing a human doggy peeing in the gutter (FOR EXAMPLE). Sub On The Street: Folsom 2023 | TikTok Cat Video Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub benefits incl
126. Quick Hits: Objectification, Romance Fiction, and The Skeezy Little Black Book
Hey it's the episode where you write in and ask about the light or deep kink questions that are on your mind! Today we're talking about how being a human ottoman can activate your parasympathetic nervous system, how to build confidence as a bottom, and get into Lina's deep-seated and probably problematic issues with romance novels. Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub benefi
125. The Clown Serenity Prayer with Gutter the Mod
What do online privacy, sex work decrim, fire butt pix, and clowns have in common? Well they're all special interests of our Deep Dive guest this month — Gutter! Gutter is one of our long time moderators of the Ask A Sub Discord community (a benefit of ask a sub patreon membership), and she joined me to talk community building, masochism, and more. Join us in a clown serenity prayer. For your filt
124. Do You Have To Bring Your 35-Year-Old Boyfriend To The Olive Garden?
Should we keep our friendships separate from our D/s dynamics? Should we merge all our relationships, friendships, and situationships into the world's largest cuddle puddle? What can we learn, aside from the latest scientific advances in filler technology, from reality television about the monogamy/polyamory divide? Lina tackles all that in this episode and more and because we were all good boys/g
123. The ENM Jealousy Thrill Ride
ISN'T BEING AN OPEN-HEARTED AND EVOLVED HUMAN SO FUN??? HAHA Well this week we're talking about what to do when your partner is in love, not forcing yourself to feel compersion before you're ready, and some hot takes on boundaries (sometimes they can control the behavior of others?? Are we backsliding into toxicity on the AAS pod or innovating?? You be the judge) PLUS stick around till the end of
122. With Pride this June We Take it Up the Butt 🫡
The first brick at Stonewall. The repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell". Obergefell v. Hodges. What better way to commemorate these extremely profound and meaningful moments in the history of the struggle for LGBTQ+ rights than by chaotically (but helpfully!) talking about… butt stuff. In this chaotically good June Pride Month episode, we revisit a classic podcast answer where Lina went deep, we're ta
121. Quick Hits: On The Mic In A Ball Gag
How do we advocate for our desires the same way we advocate for our limits? How do we see ourselves as valid even if we're bedroom-only? How can a safe word be heard through a ball gag? Lina has practical answers to all of the above, including a (ASMR?) demonstration for one of them…. you'll never guess which!! Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub benefits including our disc
120. When Threesome Fantasies Become Threesome Icks
A caller wants to know what to do when a threesome fantasy about a friend becomes a sudden turn-off. Lina does some Ick Forensics™️ on what could be bothering them, and breaks down the realities of being your own Threesome BFF. Also a bonus pep talk for bi girls who are afraid of other girls — tl;dr if the world is burning you better be kissing someone about it so help me god. Read Unicorn Hunters
119. Should Doms sub? Should subs Dom? Should chaos reign supreme?
Today Lina answers one of life's age old questions, one that's debated frequently in a public forum much like the God question or origins of the universe — should Doms be subs before they Dom? Together we'll weigh the benefits of gaining that empathetic perspective while also balancing the hot take that nobody should do anything sexually they don't want to do. Also — a bonus discussion of Lina in
118. Sydney Baloue Is A Daddy Enthusiast
Sydney Baloue is a writer, performer, event producer and advocate for racial, social, and gender justice, LGBTQ+ rights, and for trans-masculine visibility in voguing, boxing and in the film and television industry. He opened up with us about the gay male rumspringa he had after transitioning, and how he's found refuge in the wildest of places — gay male saunas and in the arms of various Daddies t
117. Break Glass for Instant 24/7 Starter Kit
A long-married caller wants to know how to jumpstart a 24/7 dynamic with a partner who may have some reservations. Lina validates that your 24/7 dynamic is supposed to breathe with you, not suprise choke unwanted breath play on you. Something like that. Use code FIRST50 for 50% off your first office hours booking. Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub benefits including our
116. Escaping Neurospicy Perfectionism
Ok so I've brought you into my basement, tied you to a chair, fixed a single lightbulb on you, put my spiky boot between your legs, leaned in real close, and now I'm gonna scream "YOU'RE PERFECT AS YOU ARE!!!!!!" Ok with that out of the way let's get into some practical skills for doing kink while neurodivergent and some strategies you can implement today to ease the burden on yourself!! Become a
115. Quick Hits: Vetting Q's & Power Struggles
In this new monthly series Lina is answering quick text-based q's from paid members and bringing them to the public feed! This month we're talking about vetting questions to identify inexperienced Doms and subs, what to do about Dom4Dom chaos, and how making prints out in the sun is a metaphor for growth (isn't everything around here??) Become a Patreon member to gain access to all the Ask A Sub b
114. Kink In The Tarot with Michelle Tea
Activist and writer Michelle Tea joined me this month to vulnerably discuss the places magic intersects with lineage, life, and sex. We transitioned into a bit of a slumber party tee-hee-ing about the archetypes of the tarot and how many of the famous figures of the major arcana could be Doms or subs. It's fun! Get in here! To get the full version of this episode Join Patreon at $11/month or subst
113. Licking Your Wounds (Figurative …Unless?)
A caller wants to know how to repair their relationship with their mind and body after a breakup. Lina's take? Don't let your drive to be considerate and ethical override your humanity. Feel it, be messy, take your space. The filth will be there to hold you along the way
112. Scaring Your Partner's Pants Off
Craving a broad introduction to fear play? I bet you are you sick freak!! In this lesson, I mean episode, Lina talks about the classics of fear play: knives, cages, trampling, and even really really sick and perverted edge play like tickling and, god forbid, forced compliments. Fear 101 (Substack) | Letter Writing Ideas from Audrey Gidman Join Lina's Patreon for access to allllll the perks! http:
111. Hot and Unbothered with Yana Tallon-Hicks
Sex therapist and author Yana Tallon-Hicks dropped by to share some practical sex advice, thoughts on neurodivergence and kink, and lay down some beautiful reflections on consent-forward parenting. To get the full version of this episode Join Patreon at $11/month or substack at $8/month. Subscribe to the subby substack here. See the paid post archive here. Submit questions for this podcast as voic
110. A Fire Under Every Butt!
Introducing my campaign slogan — let's get a fire under every would-be Dom's butt! You can't light the fire, but you can toss some kindling on the sucker and warm yourself by its flame. Maybe roast a marshmallow. Is this becoming gross? Sadly, the short-lived Sub Space membership is now deceased. Please support us on Patreon or Substack to get extra goodies! Submit questions for this podcast by
109. Communicating With Your Butt aka The Hanky Code
Communication is hard! Ever wanted to do it non-verbally with your butt? Enter: the hanky code. Today we're talking about its origins in queer cruising culture and discussing how to plan your Hot Hanky Summer. ASK A SUB MEMBERSHIP HAS CHANGED! To get all the benefits including our discord server, archive of premium audio and written posts, as well as our new podcast within a podcast, OTK with Lina
108. Porn Addiction Is Not Real with Erica Smith
Erica Smith helps Purity Culture dropouts rebuild their sexual ethic after escaping restrictive religions, and this week she's helping all of us deal with the cult of America. On the way we talk about how porn addiction isn't real, how to keep yourself sane through the news, and how the revolution demands fuckin' and suckin'. To get the full version of this episode Join Patreon at $11/month or sub
107. Trust Your Sub Swoons
A listener calls in wondering how in god's name to deal with having a CRUSH on a CIS MAN?!? (Valid). Lina gives an answer about trusting your body and not letting weird Christian plagiarists from the year 100 run your life in 2025. ASK A SUB MEMBERSHIP HAS CHANGED! To get all the benefits including our discord server, archive of premium audio and written posts, as well as our new podcast within a
106. Calling All Beleaguered Subs
This week we've got a HUGE announcement and a call from a sub who sounds frickin' exhausted. Who isn't?? Lina reminds everybody about how submission begins at home, and how the call of self-discovery is coming from inside the house (we have self-actualization at home). Calling all sub space cadets!! You'[re needed at basic training!! Get into my all new, totally independent membership service over
105. Cupid Likes It Up The Ass
Lina shares a million thoughts on anal sex from a sub's perspective including sweet meditations on the butt's position as a metaphor for the liminal space between our conscious and subconscious minds, as well as meditations on what to do if your butt plug is about to fall out at a public wine tasting. Happy Valentine's, sluts!!!! Get Lina's favorite anal sex memoir The Surrender here To support th
104. Protocol Brain Dump
A sub in an M/s dynamic calls in wondering how to integrate more long distance service into their dynamic and Lina nerds out on protocol in great detail. A brain dump if you will. (I'm NOT going to make a scat play joke. I would NEVER.) To support the pod and join our thriving ask a sub community of kinky pocket friends, Join Patreon starting at $6/month! Submit questions for this podcast by going
103. Let's Talk About Latex!
Calling all rubber buggy baby kinksters… let's take a hard 180 away from the doomscroll and talk about the surprising history of the latex kink. From fashion runways to kiddie pools of piss, this versatile fabric has a lot to offer the freaks of the world. Lina's book recommendations (I get 10% of your order!) Life, Leather, and the Pursuit of Happiness (Steve Lenius) From Fetish to Fashion: The
102. When Is Romance A Limit?
A listener calls in feeling big feelings about a new Dom, and Lina talks about making the most of the safe havens we find along the road to our dream situation. And maybe covering those safe havens in saliva a bit, idk!! Sign up to hear about upcoming offerings here. Snag your office hours appointment here. Mr. Dune Deep Dive info. Daddy Issues series on Patreon or Substack. To support the pod and
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