The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya is a podcast hosted by drag queens Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova, known from RuPaul's Drag Race. Each week, they discuss their lives in Los Angeles, covering topics like movies, TV shows, and air conditioning, with a focus on humor and absurdity. The podcast offers an ad-free subscription and is produced by Studio71.
Episodes
The Magic of Movements with Trixie and Katya
Across the porcelain provinces of our human experience, each soul leaves behind its own small testament; some solemn and substantial, with others fleeting as a whispered flush under the gentle glow from a nightlight. There are movements of grandeur, movements of haste, movements that arrive with operatic thunder. And then there are those shy little passages that scarcely trouble the waters below.
Commuter? I Hardly Know Her! with Trixie and Katya
The City of Los Angeles, in the full radiance of its civic wisdom and an ambition matched only by its bewildering infrastructure, proudly announces the inauguration of a new subway line connecting the private residence of Trixie Mattel to a long-abandoned shopping mall near MacArthur Park. Conceived without regard for ridership, urban necessity, fiscal prudence, or the travel needs of any other li
Maria Bamford Can Bomb Anywhere, So Why Drive? with Trixie
Once upon a time in a magical far-off land, Trixie Mattel, the undisputed Royal Duchess of Drag, believed herself to be best friends with Maria Bamford, the realm's undeniable Queen of Comedy. Having followed her through every enchanted television program and neighborhood comedy special, the parasocial relationship grew and grew like a magical beanstalk. Although Trixie had adored her from afar fo
Ten Queens, Five Suitcases, No Dignity: All Stars Season 2 with Trixie and Katya
Dim the lights, dear podcast friends, and settle in for a delightful tale. In a world where no cohesive thought process exists for long, two drag queens sat before their microphones in a Pepto-Bismol-hued studio and caused such merry confusion that even the producer could not help but guffaw. In this colorful void, the queens told their listeners about a secret Patreon kingdom filled with bonus ta
Robby Hoffman is Aggressively Kind with Trixie
Once upon a Silver Lake lanai, beneath a moon so bright it seemed personally sponsored by comradery and friendship, Dame Trixie Mattel met Emmy-nominated comedian and actor Robby Hoffman, and before the iced drinks could sweat through their cocktail napkins, a legendary best-friendship was born. In this episode of The Bald and the Beautiful, Trixie sits down with Robby to trace the wildly improbab
A Ventriloquist Love Affair with Trixie and Katya
Take notice, patrons of both the curious and mechanically marvelous! Two celebrated drag-queen automatons seated in comfy chairs, shall speak herein for approximately one hour via the mysterious ventriloquial arts! These painted wooden belles, done up in theatrical fashion, shall hold forth upon their recent engagements as musical jockeys of the gramophone disc, hospital patients for grievous inte
"You Smell Like Hospital" with Trixie and Katya
Upon the pale and trembling threshold of a Beverly Hills hospital bed, where machines blinked like tiny frigid stars and the kingdom of Katya's body had been besieged by a cruel and venomous gastrointestinal blockade, our weary hero lay suspended between breath and utter oblivion. Death itself dared to come near, draped in her midnight robes, whispering with a grave and ancient confidence that the
Kelly Mantle Demands More Glamour and Less Clamor with Trixie
Like a velvet-cloaked goth privateer, Kelly Mantle strode into the podcast studio this week and set her microphone ablaze as if forged by fire in a glamorous volcano. With every story, Kelly summoned tempests of danger, glittering betrayal, and show-business Madonna-tinged treasure until the walls trembled like the hull of a ship under cannon fire. Somewhere amidst the madness, the strange legend
Leland's How-To-Guide for Musical Excellence with Trixie
To properly record and master this episode featuring acclaimed music producer and Drag Race Rusical songwriting and composing legend Leland, first establish a controlled conversational environment in which wit, glamour, and industry expertise operate at optimal levels. Once the guest is securely introduced, permit Leland to provide calibrated insight into the mechanics of songwriting, DJing, and m
Juno Birch Is a Little Less Blue with Trixie
Once upon a time, today's exceptionally iridescent guest was twilight-blue and hidden behind a cloak of pastel azure. Now that cerulean shell has loosened, revealing shades of the full spectrum long hidden. Emerging like a butterfly from the secret cathedral of her cyan cocoon, Juno Birch arises splendid and majestic, opening her wings in a pageant of sunlit defiance and pride. Also, she tells a h
IMHO's Darby and Alexis Summon Charcuterie Spirits with Trixie
The city of Burbank was sweating secrets, and somewhere beneath the flicker of a dying neon sign, IMHO: The Podcast's Darby Lynn Cartwright & Alexis Bevels were cooking up a scheme with Katya’s name written all over it. Their plan was simple, dirty, and dressed in bad lighting: remove Katya from the equation and slide into The Bald and the Beautiful like two dames with alibis and microphones. Trix
Courtney Act is Eminently Keen with Trixie and Katya
In today's class, myriad topics of interest and erudition will be covered, but first we shall crack open Miss Act's Rules of Grace and Refinement Vol. 1, beginning with the phrase, “Are you keen?” The word 'keen' derives its romantic force from the ancient adjective meaning 'eager' or 'interested'. By the twentieth century, however, especially in colloquial British vernacular, “keen on” had become
Thank you for Choosing Bald Airlines with Trixie and Katya
Ladies and gentlemen, as we taxi to the gate we'd like to thank you for choosing Bald Airlines, where every seat is first class and includes botox, estate planning, legally-binding mortuary consultation, a yacht sommelier, and a complimentary Fabergé pelvic floor egg. Please take a moment to check your overhead bins for any personal belongings, and don't forget to take your live harpist with you a
Kristen Schaal and the Science of "Bricked" with Katya
According to the newly-published Schaal-Zamo Compendium of Physiological Sex Stuff, "Bricked" (or "Briqued" as it is colloquially known for females) is a coordinated bio-psycho-physiologic process involving cognition, limbic activation, involuntary nervous response, and extremely localized arousal of genital tissues, primarily with, but not limited to, the Pee Pee and the Vee Vee. In males, nitric
Bobby and the Ice Queens with Trixie and Katya
Premiering this Summer off off off Broadway, it's "Bobby & the Ice Queens"! From a fired usher at "Spider Man: Turn Off the Dark" comes the glitter-drenched fever dream no sane theater critic saw coming: a disco-soaked, high-kicking spectacle about Robert Khennady Jr., a wealthy socialite from a famous family by day, a debaucherous nose-candy-sniffing creature by night! Bobby tears through the 7
An Open Letter to the Emmys with Trixie and Katya
Dearest esteemed leadership of the National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. We respectfully and fervently request the honor of serving as presenters for the Lead Actress category during the primetime telecast of the 2027 Emmy Awards: roles for which we have physically, cosmetically, and emotionally been preparing for our entire lives. Given the extraordinary performances from Lisa Kudrow
A Triumph of Pure Delight with Trixie and Katya
What you are about to hear is the absolute apex of what humanity has frequently referred to as "joy." The following sixty-ish minutes of audio and video are a glorious, overflowing symphony of happiness so immense it almost seems too dazzling for this earthly plane. It is delight at its most majestic and uncontained, brimming with an ecstatic brightness that will make every corner of your spirit f
The Bride and the Betrothed with Trixie and Katya
Ms. Trixie Mattel and Ms. Katya Zamo kindly request the distinguished honor of your presence at their most magnificent nuptial celebration, where the theme shall be "Baroque Techno Jurassic Gothic Cyborg Barbie Vampire." It will be held at the abandoned Hawthorne Plaza Mall in Hawthorne, CA, where the decor shall scream "gilded ruin of Baroque splendor where pink-hued creatures of the night have m
The Squirtle Spurtle with Trixie and Katya
If you thought oatmeal recipes couldn't be sensual, you'd be dead wrong. Dim the lights, burn that bergamot arousal candle from your cousin's bachelorette party, and bring 1 cup of steel-cut oats to a slow, smoldering simmer in 4 cups of creamy, luscious whole milk. Add just a pinch of sea salt, and let the ingredients relax into a luscious, velvet-thick porridge so opulent it's no wonder this rec
A Motherforking Clusterfluff with Trixie and Katya
Welcome back to another motherflocking, cockadoodle, son-of-a-biscuit episode of The Bald and the Beautiful, where our dolls yap their pretty little ash-offs about fame, folly, and every half-baked batshirt thought that ricochets around in their glamorous skull caverns. Listen as every ding-dang topic gets dragged through the glittery mud by two world-class gobshites armed with surgically-hilariou
The Last Rites of Eternal Chaos with Trixie and Katya
You are cordially invited to attend a most distinguished yet eminently fake wake in honor of Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova, the undisputed queens of chaos, podcasts, and mirth. We shall convene in a chapel that smells faintly of Red Bull, stale makeup, and air conditioner refrigerant. Guests will enjoy a program of refined absurdities including a dramatic reading of Whitney Houston's 2001
This One Goes Out to All the Buttholes with Trixie and Katya
I am the ring that no laurels adorn,A puckered little star at the edge of the form.No medals are pinned to my tireless skin,Yet I toil and labor each day, all from within.
Through tempests of spice and fast food you regret,The burdens the rest of the body forgets.I clench through trials both noble and dire,An unsung sentinel forged in fire.
But even the steadfast may weary and ache,May whisper,
A Meditation on Fruit Cups and Resplendence with Trixie and Katya
In the majestic kingdom of sleep where the heavens are transformed into a silken washhouse of torrential storms, the clouds are wrung dry by invisible hands while heinous blonde flamingos are carried off to a prison of unimaginable cruelty. As flocks of braying geese vanish and reappear as if by magic, I open my body into impossible splits and liquid arcs of dance so resplendent that the very air
The Bald and the Breakfast with Trixie and Katya
Wake up and put on your nicest wiglet, Deborah! The sun is shining and it's time to head on down to The Bald & The Breakfast, Weho's newest morning hotspot where Trixie and Katya are slinging eggs, flipping griddles, and brioch-ing the eff out of French Toast! Sink your teeth into our signature dishes: cinnamon-glazed Benedict CumberBuns, Morning Wood-Smoked Turkey Sausage, and Katya's famous Mapl
A Freshly-Peeled Lease on Life with Trixie and Katya
Dear Dr. Whiffenschtuppel, I write to you this day to express my deepest gratitude for changing my life. Long ago, I remember staring at my banana on the kitchen counter, bruised and drooping with despair; a perfect reflection of my life before Bocox. Every day felt soft, sad, and permanently past its prime. I meandered through my days burdened with shame and grief, wondering how something once so
From Hooves to Haute with Trixie and Katya
This week's episode is presented by Hollywood's premier foot feminization service, "From Hooves to Haute." With our patented treatment derived from centuries of Icelandic foot worship, our clinicians will transform your neglected feet from beige, flaky oatmeal buckets with fossilized Fritos for toenails into the epitome of luminous symmetry. We'll erase that eye-watering aroma of gangrene at low-
250 Episodes of Dolls Being Dolls with Trixie and Katya
Our beloved listeners and wayward souls, we write to you from the glittery halls of memory, where two hundred and fifty episodes now flutter like sequined gowns on a brightly-lit stage of times past. Our hearts are heavy with laughter, saturated with love, and perfumed by a joyous feeling so thick you could spread it like Marmite on toast. Each episode was a bejeweled hour of gossip and grace, whe
The Silence of the Hooves with Trixie and Katya
Dearest Katya. It is I, Silas P. Hoofman, the ghost of the antelope who currently hangs in a perpetual state of taxidermy above your bed. From my velveted perch upon this ignoble wall, I address you with a heart still pulsing with spectral ire, my musk perfumed with the rot of remembrance. In the hush of our shared candlelit hours, I have vowed that my whispers from beyond shall coil about your dr
The Twelfth Day After Christmas with Trixie and Katya
’Twas 12 days after Christmas, when we gathered in the valley,
To record a podcast and reflect on our holiday glee.
We had dashed through L.A., to a glittering A-List soirée,
To eat pizza and sliders at Charlize Theron’s chalet.
Trixie ran into Paul Feig, a multi-Emmy nominee,
But congratulated him, instead, on a bit part from the 90s.
Such awkwardness made her hungry, so she eyed the pizza
A Paranormal New Year's Eve with Trixie and Katya
On a balmy Los Angeles New Year’s Eve, as the city chimed with hope and regret, the Podcast Ghost of 2025 came gliding through the lamplit air to visit Trixie and Katya, its countenance stitched of hours spent listening to the pod in the netherworld. Awakened from their slumber, it showed them hours upon hours squandered on movie reviews and anecdotes and puns that curdled into cacophonic comedy,
Daphne Guinness and the Anarchy of Creativity with Katya
On a mild Los Angeles night as Christmas bells rang out into the darkness like gentle couture thunder, fashion model, curator, writer, musician, and actor, Daphne Guinness, descended into the velveteen ether of The Bald and the Beautiful podcast studio, a gothic angel wrapped in mystery and myth. Together they summoned a yuletide séance of aristocracy and absurdity, a baroque nativity of wigs and
How to Use Double Entendres with Trixie and Katya
Today, as our fingers gently brushed the record button and we engaged in a long and thorough microphone check, we adjusted the levels for several minutes, thus ensuring the room was warm and ready and inviting us to continue. We settled into a steady rhythm, exploring the acoustics until we eventually found the mythical sweet spot, taking our time and allowing the tension to build as the red light
Lushious Massacr's Plan for World Peace Through the Booty Hole with Trixie and Katya
Official Statement from the esteemed Lushious H. Massacr IV, Esq.: In a moment unprecedented in the annals of human cooperation, the international drag community proudly proclaims the dawn of lasting global concord, achieved through the harmonious power of the Astounding Portal of Unity: The Booty Hole. Let this precious orifice inspire nations to transcend petty grievances and embrace collective
The Cream Nation Sensation! with Trixie and Katya
Get ready, America, because the new dance craze "Cream Nation" is sweeping the country faster than a soda fountain jerk slinging banana splits! From hip teenagers at the malt shop to squares cutting loose on the living room floor, everybody is jumping, jiving, and creaming their way into this sensational new dance! All you have to do is sway, shimmy, and jerk it like you’re stirring up the sweetes
Kim Chi's Love Affair with Public Libraries with Trixie and Katya
The dolls are joined by the prodigious patisserie of elegance and razor-sharp wit, the incomparable Kim Chi! Miss Chi who would like you know that public libraries stand as luminous beacons of civic generosity, offering complimentary tootsie rolls that taste like tiny victories of the working class as these huddled masses check out CDs to be burned into their iPod Classics, empowering each and eve
Observational Cinematic Compulsion Disorder with Trixie and Katya
Observational Cinematic Compulsion Disorder, or OCCD, is a common behavioral condition characterized by involuntary ocular fixation on a neighbor's in-flight audiovisual LCD display, even in the absence of accompanying auditory stimuli. Patients with OCCD exhibit vastly impaired concentration filtration, resulting in reflexive visual tracking of narrative cinematic sequences presented on adjacent
The Trixie Mattel Center for Turntable Excellence with Trixie and Katya
Attention aspiring disc technicians! At Trixie’s Greater Milwaukee Center for Turntable Excellence, you’ll receive comprehensive instruction in cross-fader voltage modulation, cue-point bias alignment, and real-time pitch control using state-of-the-art Technics SL-1200MK2 direct-drive turntables. You’ll learn to dissect, equalize, and live-sequence Chappell Roan and Nicki Minaj masters through ree
Your Fingers are Rivers of Intention with Trixie and Katya
Do you dream of living a life of romance, success, and not being a social disgrace as you awkwardly tap at your keyboard like a Dickensian ghost? With 3 easy payments of $99.99, you can be the proud owner of the year's hottest CD-ROM from Katya Zamo's Shift Happens Typing School. You’ll go from 7 pathetic words per minute to a blistering 80+ WPM because if you don't, you will perish loveless and a
Elvira's Planet of the Glamazonian Ghouls with Trixie
In the twilight hush of a Burbank podcast studio, Trixie finds herself opposite the immortal Elvira, Mistress of the Dark: the legendary Cassandra Peterson! Upon the mist of their delightfully macabre conversation lays her infernal grimoire, "Elvira’s Cookbook from Hell", its pages reeking of brimstone and buttercream, whispering festive recipes that seem to writhe with unholy hunger. Through grin
Let No Bannister Go Un-Cobwebbed with Trixie and Katya
Friends, fans, and fellow seekers of the sublime; it is I, Trixie Mattel. Lend me your trembling hearts, for the hour of All Hallows' Eve draws nigh, and with it, my home shall rise from shadowed mediocrity into gothic immortality. Upon my modest parcel of earth shall stand a citadel of candlelight and cobweb, a mausoleum of wonder where even the moon itself will pause to admire its own reflection
Bosco and Goblin Drag Prerequisites with Katya
In alignment with Bald, LLC's ongoing corporate initiative to foster dialogue in the fields of glamour, aesthetics, and brand synergy, SVP of Novelty T-Shirts Katya Zamolodchikova is pleased to engage in a high-level dialogue with esteemed guest, the one and only Bosco. This executive board-sanctioned exchange will address key sectors including adhesive textile engineering, gender-affirming massag
Bob the Drag Queen Heralds the Birth of Katya's Pussycat with Katya
Hear ye, dear listeners! Mark the annals of human history, for contained herein is a tale so resplendent, so epoch-defining, that even the stars themselves lean closer to listen. On this fateful day, the cosmos bore witness to the advent of Katya’s long-foretold Pussycat; an event so cataclysmic in wonder that the entirety of the world's commerce, conflict, and creation alike was bowed into revere
Irene The Alien's Ephemeral Visit to the Terrestrial Realm with Katya
Irene The Alien travels across the cold infinities of space for a brief descent to converse with the singular earthling amongst earthlings: Katya. They discuss, with the tranquil gravity of deep space, the paradox of her early ejection from the Drag Race mothership, the chromatic splendor of dresses that gleam like auroras on a methane sea, and RuPaul’s rapt delight in immense mortal metamorphoses
Wigs, Weapons & Wisdom: A Three-Act Tête-à-Tête with Trixie and Katya
In this impeccably-coiffed episode, Trixie and Katya luxuriate in the cultural gravitas of wigs: those mercurial crowns of artifice, seduction, and spectacle. Act Two detonates with an opulent, penetrating dissection of Weapons, that brooding cinematic masterwork whose themes of menace and morality gleam as dazzlingly as a freshly-honed rapier. The final act pirouettes into both low and high philo
RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Eps 11 to 14: "Le Finalé Débonnaire Extraordinaire" with Trixie and Katya
In a candle-lit chamber filled with the velveted echoes of hazy remembrance, Trixie and Katya unveil the ultimate quadrilogy of reminiscence. Prepare thyselves for episodes 11 through 14 of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7; each memory a rare gem, cut and set with princely precision. Their every recollection unfurls like a brocaded tapestry of wit and wonder, where the haute couture of heartache is pop
RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Eps 9 & 10: "Prancing, Poo, and Panache" with Trixie and Katya
Latch your steamer trunk and press your travel slacks, as Trixie and Katya summon you for a grand tour through the jeweled harbors of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7, Episodes 9 and 10. Like discerning aesthetes adrift upon the sapphire sea, they linger in reverie over the operatic revels of the Divine Comedy challenge, then recline in first-class velvet banquettes to consider, with equal parts mirth
RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Ep 8: "Cosmic Twins Rising" with Trixie and Katya
The stars have spoken and celestial forces have aligned as Trixie and Katya gaze backwards in time through the planetary veil to Episode 8 of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7. According to famed Houston Chronicle astrologer and self-proclaimed inventor of tangerines Madame Claire Voyánt, this was the episode where destiny shuffled the queens into roles both triumphant and tragic, their fates written in
RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Eps 5, 6, & 7: "Wigs, Woe, & Redemption" with Trixie and Katya
A storm of lace bodices and shattered dreams erupts as Trixie and Katya
revisit Episodes 5, 6, and 7, where the workroom transformed into a bloody battlefield and destiny itself teetered on stilettos. Katya, radiant yet tormented, recalls the soaring ecstasy of comedic victory before plunging into the abyss of crippling self-doubt, her every glance a silent scream for redemption. With the dual cr
RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Ep 4: "A Soufflé of Judgement & Humiliation" with Trixie and Katya
This evening's Auberge du Bald prix fixe menu opens with a velvety consommé of critiques simmered to perfection as Trixie and Katya revisit Episode 4 of Season 7, ladling out a slightly tart first course of humiliation and an amuse-bouche of sweet nostalgia. Before the main course, light humiliation is flambéed tableside, its acrid smoke mingling delightfully with champagne bubbles of self-depreca
RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Ep 3: "ShakesQueer, Sewing, & Excuses" with Trixie and Katya
Today’s forecast predicts a heavy downpour of sewing machine mishaps, zipper malfunctions, and a strong chance of Ru's outsize expectations. Expect gusts of flimsy excuses sweeping in from the west, as poorly constructed gowns struggle to hold their structural integrity. A cold front of judges’ side-eye will move in by runway time, dropping both temperatures and morale. Listeners should prepare fo
RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Ep 2: "Trauma & Moby" with Trixie and Katya
On the latest Drag Race Season 7 reminiscence, Trixie and Katya relive the transformative chaos of Episode 2, where challenges were confusing, tensions ran high, and eyebrows ran even higher. With unfiltered vulnerability, they unpack the emotional exfoliation brought about by both success and failure, as well as the subtle art of absolutely destroying a group acting challenge before celebrating w
RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Ep 1: "Origins" with Trixie and Katya
You are cordially invited to the first Drag Race Season 7 Reminiscence, a decadent audio dégustation featuring Miss Trixie Mattel and Madame Katya Zamolodchikova. The first course is an amuse-bouche of backstage trauma, served slightly chilled with a reduction of self-doubt and chicken coop wigs, as the dolls recount their entrances in RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7. For the main course: tender morse
The Land of a Thousand Fjords: Live from Norway with Trixie and Katya!
Live from the Svalbard Global Seed Vault, Trixie and Katya dodge reindeer traffic jams and a military parade led by a literal knighted Brigadier penguin named Sir Nils Olav, all in a valiant effort to bring you yet another episode of Scandinavian insanity. From a brief symposium on recreational pharmaceuticals to midwestern high school reunion etiquette to the questionable morals of restroom telep
Stockholm Syndrome: Live from Sweden with Trixie and Katya!
Live from the historic Djurgårdscirkus theater in Stockholm, join us as we dive headfirst into the frosty fjords of Sweden! From government-funded moose warning signs to the national obsession with fermented fish that smells like Satan’s humidifier, it’s a smörgåsbord of Scandinavian magic! The dolls dissect Sweden’s bizarre love affair with coffee breaks (yes, “fika” is mandatory), their legally
Tammie Brown's Tallywhacker Extravaganza with Trixie and Katya
The otherworldly icon herself, Tammie Brown, returns for another deliriously unhinged chat as the trio dives headfirst into the sky-high rents of Provincetown, the socio-political effects of pube-dying, and why Tammie was quite literally born for reality television. Expect cosmic wisdom, hard-boiled egg recipes, and at least one off-topic rant about Hugh Hefner's canine predilections.
Planning a
Deep Emotional Healing Through Home Decor with Trixie and Katya
The break-up was rough, but looking around the house, the realization hit me: enough time had passed. The house felt hollow, the memories mere echoes as the walls finally exhaled. It was time for a new beginning. A new dawn that can only commence at the ultimate church of eclectic, spirited commerce: World Market. I started small—replacing our antique China with vivid Moroccan flatware that seemed
Pokémon 101 is Now in Session with Trixie and Katya
Ninntenndo America, Inc. Announces Two New Pokémon Arriving in 2026!:
Trixioohh is a deranged Fairy/Plastic type Pokémon evolved from a cursed eyeliner found in the haunted Ross store on La Brea Avenue. With moves like Wig Whip, Slander Pulse, and her apocalyptic signature attack Nuclear Eyebrow Gluer, she crushes enemies into submission and leaves behind a sticky residue of THC gummies.
Katya
Book a Ride with Beyonce's Balloons Today! with Trixie and Katya
Calling all señiores and señoritas! Book your tickets today and soar above Mexico City with Beyoncé’s Balloons: the only luxury hot air balloon experience where altitude meets attitude! Founded by Trixie and Katya after a prophetic Katya fever dream involving an Aztec King, a singing churro, and Ben Franklin's kite, float gracefully over ancient Mesoamerican pyramids, swirling Mexico City traffic,
Welcome to Bald's Gym! with Trixie and Katya
Have you looked in the mirror lately and thought to yourself, "Ewww..."? Well "Ewww" no longer, friends. Come on down to Bald’s Gym! Where abs are churned, not earned, and you sculpt your body not into a Greek god, but into a glistening, viscous tub of full-fat Greek yogurt. Let us show you how to go from stick to thick! Forget Mt. Olympus—our clients ascend to Mt. Dairy, oiled and trembling with
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Lords, Ladies, and Theydies! By royal decree and under the ever-watchful eye of our potentate and monarch King Emmanuel Podcast IV, Esq. — prepare thyselves for a presence most prodigious and profound! Now entering the Bald & Beautiful Grand Hall of the Dolls...we present to you: the Duchess of Deadpan, the Empress of Eccentricities, the undisputed Queen of Comedy, KRISTEN SCHAAL!
Follow Kristen:
Lifting the Gossamer Curtain to the Other Side with Trixie and Katya
If you need answers about your past life, we're here to help. As we gaze into the swirling mists of the unknown, we're seeing you. Not "you," but rather a past you. You're wearing a funny hat and white stockings. You're Henry Picklethorpe Wigglesworth IV, the Viscount of Golden Balls, Oxfordshire. Your estate, Hairy-Knob-upon-Fanny-Bottom, was famous for its 27 chimneys, haunted marmalade cellar,
One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Gays with Trixie and Katya
Do you love the idea of space travel, but hate the color blue and happen to be super gay? Introducing Pink Horizon! The universe’s first fabulously queer space exploration company. Final frontier? More like fierce frontier! Ooh there ain't no other way...to the cosmos, that is! Powered by science, pride, and just the right amount of interstellar trimix, we're gaying up the galaxy one phallus-shape
Losing Your Virginity at a Ruby Tuesday with Michael Henry & Tim Murray
From the new OUTtv series Wish You Were Queer, Michael Henry and Tim Murray regale Trixie and Katya with epic tales of suburban cruising permits, the epicurean superiority of Chili's, and a hook-up debate as old as time: to chomp or not to chomp. Don't miss the May 22nd premiere of Wish You Were Queer on OUTtv!
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With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya
Greetings, you luminous kitchen sprites! Today, we’re embarking on a journey — not just of baking, but of awakening your lifestyle & fashion demon through the delicate magic of edible flowers. Because why just eat cake when you can also accessorize it?
STEP 1: DON'T GET YOUR BEGONIAS IN A BUNCHTo avoid a trip to the E.R., avoid begonias and instead find manufactured spiritual enlightenment with
Take Us Back to Gawd's Country with Trixie and Katya
In the depths of the city of angels, where devilish sinners prance,
There live two drag queens, luring innocent souls to Gomorrah with their twisted dance.
With rainbow flags flying, amidst the woke chaos no one can hear,
The cries of good 'ol Americans drowning their sorrows in watery domestic beer.
But down in the South, where mint juleps flow like water and the bayou air is pure,
The laws of
You're Someone or You're Someone Else with Trixie and Katya
Chunky or creamy, innie or outie, hot or cold, tall or short, spicy or mild, text or call, sweet or sour, clean or dirty, gentle or rough, baked or fried, wet or dry, pizza or pasta, confetti or glitter, loud or quiet, elbows or knees, sparkling or still! Whether life serves you lemons or lemonade, give yourself a kiss today, 'cuz honey you were born some way.
Consider hosting your home on Airbnb
Download the "CruciPeep" App Today! with Trixie and Katya
As we enter the final lead-up to Easter Sunday, let us all reflect on the many blessings we have in our lives, including the magical marshmallow carbohydrate bombs: Peeps. This Lent, download CruciPeep from the App Store and join Peeps devotees from all across the globe in our special 2025 Bald & Beautiful CruciPeep Challenge! For the week leading up to Easter, make Peeps a part of every single me
Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya
In a world where Amish tradition meets secular temptation, six Amish youths will be tested like never before. Watch as these impressionable young adults from Lancaster County are thrown into the outside world where their innocence doesn't stand a chance. From the barn to the bar, this ain't your Uncle Jedediah's Rumspringa. This Summer, Tee-El-Cee Network presents a journey from farm to filth. Sto
The Bald Driving School: Where Automotive Dreams Come True with Trixie and Katya
Is your spouse sick of your night terrors involving narrow driveways and parallel parking? Does the thought of merging onto a freeway during rush hour make your perineum perspire? We here at The Bald Driving School are here to help. With dozens of days of driving experience, our two instructors will guide you through blinkers, beeps, blind spots, and barefoot driving techniques. The Bald Driving S
A Public Service Announcement for Our Fans with Trixie and Katya
Dearest Trixie and Katya fans: it has come to our attention that ye, the huddled malodorous masses of the proletariat who worship at the altar of our eternal magnificence, have come to the falsely-held belief that encountering us in a public space grants you the privilege of speaking to us, thereby forcing us to acknowledge your meager existence. In many cases, the most squalid amongst you have ri
Huffin' at Macca's with Trixie and Katya
This Summer, visit beautiful Australia and experience Brisbane’s sights, sounds, and especially the smells! You can island-hop by helicopter, hike to hidden waterfalls, or relax at one of Brisbane's acclaimed new restaurants! Explore the city with your mate as you sip spritzes atop a rooftop bar, down pints at a craft brewery, or order cheeseburgers and fries with a side of automobile adhesive at
Are You Happy Now? with Trixie and Katya
In a historical socio-political context, "appeasement" is defined as a diplomatic negotiation between parties where one party makes political, material, or territorial concessions to the other party (the aggressor) with the express intention of avoiding conflict. While we will never admit that the blue set exemplified anything but unadulterated aesthetic perfection, we grew tired of seeing you hea
A Blueberry Bayou Adventure with Trixie and Katya
Blueberry season is on its way and this Summer, prepare for that special vacation to Disneyland by clearing out your tired old mocktail recipes, your social calendar, and your stomach contents! This week we're making our signature non-alcoholic weight-loss aperitif, "Katya's Berry Bad Decision". It's a refreshing, subtly sweet concoction filled to the brim with blueberries, mint, and regret; all m
The Bald and the Beautiful: Tokyo Drift with Trixie and Katya
From the makers of The Fast and the Furioustest and 2 Fast 2 Fastiest comes the highest-octane installment of the hit movie franchise ever! When convicted felon and secret drag queen Jonathan "Turbo Titties" Callahan (Trixie Mattel) tries to start a new life on the south side of Milwaukee, his obsession with street racing sets him on a collision course with the head of the Wisconsin criminal under
All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster with Trixie and Katya
I believe in one god,
the Noodle Almighty,
maker of marinara and meatballs,
of all pasta visible and invisible,
born of the semolina before all ages,
fettuccine to fusilli, ravioli to rigatoni,
bucatini to capellini,
begotten, not overcooked, perfectly al dente,
topped with parmesan for our salvation,
he came down from heaven,
and by the spirit of a stripper,
touched his noodly appendage to her,
t
Employing Pillow Talk to Build Intimacy with Trixie and Katya
Do you ever glance over at your partner and feel like they're a million miles away, both physically and emotionally? While we all know that building a connection is hard work, it also requires vulnerability and a willingness to accept your partner as they truly are. But with your weekend already full of buying groceries for Jenny's scouting jamboree, carpooling to Michael's Taekwondo steamed veget
Finding Balance Through Dialectism & Chicken with Trixie and Katya
The opposing forces of the yin and the yang are alive and well in 2025: Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni; TikTok and the Absence of TikTok; Emilia Perez and Good Taste. With the dizzying start to the year that has many of us stress-eating Thin Mints and Taco Bell while practicing scream-therapy techniques into our pillows, we'd like to devote this week's episode to helping you cast off 2025's disco
Hot Loads Delivered Straight to Your Door with Trixie and Katya
It's that time of year yet again! Are you ready for the big sports game? If you have lots of manly men coming over to root for their favorite athletic team, you're gonna need quite the spread, Jack! Introducing scratch-cooked, ultra-fresh, hand-made hot loads made from quality ingredients and spices, crafted daily to nourish more than just the body, Deborah. Trixie and Katya's Bald 'n Fresh Hot Lo
Introducing: The Kelly Mantle Show!
From executive producers Trixie & Katya comes the absolutely brilliant, gloriously gonzo, and extraordinarily entertaining The Kelly Mantle Show! Each week, Kelly Mantle invites special celebrity guests to endure the most divinely bizarre and uncomfortable interview you've ever witnessed. Kelly believes that laughter is life's lubricant, and these hilarious deep dives are a guaranteed good time th
The Queen Mary's Evacuee Jerk Game with Trixie and Katya
All aboard! This year, book a tantalizing stay on The Queen Mary as you evacuate any one of Southern California’s various natural disasters. Our arousing accommodations await in your very own Self-Love-Stateroom, offering the perfect atmosphere for an auto-erotic experience while you watch KTLA’s 24-hour local news forecast. Self-Satisfaction is virtually guaranteed, with packages that include hor
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