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The Reality Between Us

Aja Rutledge 8 Episodes Aug 19, 2026

Hosted by Aja Rutledge, The Reality Between Us explores the hidden dynamics that shape relationships, including trauma, nervous system responses, self-awareness, and relational patterns. Rather than offering quick fixes, the podcast looks beneath surface behavior to understand why we connect, avoid, conflict, and trust in the ways we do. It examines relationships with partners, family, friends, coworkers, and ourselves, focusing on the internal drivers of external actions.

Episodes

Wanting the Relationship Is the Easy Part Aug 19, 2026 25:09 Wanting a relationship doesn't mean you're equipped to have one.We spend a lot of time thinking about the relationships we want, the kind of people we want in our lives, and what we want those relationships to give us. But how often do we stop and consider what we're bringing into them? Wanting the thing is the easy part. Being able to create and sustain it is something else.In this episode, we ex

Validation Isn't the Problem. You Are. Aug 12, 2026 23:47 Validation and agreement are not the same thing.Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that if we acknowledge another person's experience, we're saying they're right. But what if validation simply means making room for their reality without abandoning your own?In this episode, we explore:Why validation and agreement are not the same thing.Why validation is often the first step toward repair.W

The Reality You're Responding To Aug 5, 2026 25:12 How many times have you been absolutely certain you knew what someone meant...only to find out later that's not what was happening at all?In this episode, we're exploring how the state we're in changes what we think we're seeing. Because sometimes we're responding to what's actually happening. And sometimes we're responding to the lens we're looking through. Learning the difference can change our

Seeing What’s There Jul 29, 2026 19:03 People often ask whether someone is the right person for them. But we don't spend nearly enough time asking whether that person has the capacity to meet us where we are.In this episode, we explore why understanding another person's relationship with themselves tells us more about the relationship that's possible than what they say they want. We look at how to recognize emotional capacity, why peop

Care Is a Verb Jul 22, 2026 22:39 We use the word care all the time. We say we care about people. We tell people we care. But what does care actually mean?In this episode, we explore why care is more than a feeling; it's a way of moving and being in relationships. We look at why someone can genuinely feel something for us without actually caring for us, how care is demonstrated through behavior rather than words, and why learning

Good Intentions Aren't Enough Jul 15, 2026 22:28 People tend to think that if their intentions were good then that should settle it. But relationships don't happen inside intentions. They happen in the impact we have on each other.In this episode, we explore why intent and impact aren't competing ideas; they're two sides of the same coin. We look at why good intentions don't always lead to good outcomes, how trauma and survival mode shape what w

Maybe It's Not a Communication Problem Jul 8, 2026 23:08 Communication is one of the first things we point to when a relationship is struggling. But what if communication isn't the place to start?In this episode, we explore why communication is only as healthy as the people participating in it. We look at how trauma, nervous system activation, internal safety, and our need to be understood shape what happens long before words are ever spoken. We also ex

Before We Talk About Relationships Jul 1, 2026 24:09 Before we talk about relationships with other people, we have to understand the relationship we're having with ourselves.In this opening episode, I share the experiences that shaped the perspective behind this podcast and why I believe healing isn't just about understanding trauma...it's about rebuilding the relationship with yourself. We explore self-compassion, self-trust, boundaries, over-funct

Introducing The Reality Between Us Jun 14, 2026 02:08 New here? Start here. In this short introduction, I share what The Reality Between Us is about, why I created it and the conversations we'll be having about relationships, self-awareness, conflict, connection, and the hidden dynamics that shape them all.If you're ready to look a little deeper, start here.

The Reality Between Us

Episodes

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