Sex Drunks
Sex Drunks is a conversational podcast about lust, sex, and addiction, told through real recovery stories. Each episode features candid dialogue with people who have lived through these experiences. The tone ranges from serious to funny, but it stays honest and personal. The show aims to offer experience, strength, and hope without sounding clinical or preachy.
Episodes
46. Surrender with teeth
Molly joins Pasha and J. to talk about entering male-dominated meetings in a giant puffer coat, leaving recovery for ten years, and finding her way back through loneliness and a sketchy alley. They get into fellowship across gender lines, prayer that feels real, and the monk resentment that unexpectedly melted away.
45. The future of Sex Drunks
Pasha and J. unpack the retreat high, the lonely crash afterward, and why recovery friends can feel like home. They explore building community beyond formal meetings through chaotic WhatsApp threads, spontaneous group calls, poker nights, and a small winter retreat—with plenty of side quests along the way.
44. What did God say? (retreat)
Ash and Catherine join the guys at the retreat to talk sponsorship, relapse, and the relief of not having all the answers. They get honest about dating, shame, surrendering outcomes, and learning to connect with people without lust running the conversation. Along the way, J. questions the relentlessly upbeat recovery meeting, everyone compares criminal histories, and speeding becomes an amends iss
43. Learning to hurt sober (retreat)
At the retreat, the guys dig into surrendering what matters most—money, sex, dating, anger, and the illusion of control. Mike shares how a roof repair tested his sense of security, why buying coffee nearly wrecked his serenity, and what it means to let God have the good and the bad. They also wrestle with when to talk openly about sex addiction and why being among people who understand can finally
42. Separation in recovery (retreat)
Nicole and Brennan join J. and Pasha to talk about separation, relapse after 90 days of treatment, and why they had to recover apart before they could recover together. They get honest about broken trust, Sunday recovery marathons, learning when to shut up, and the difference between being helpful and trying to control. Plus, an engagement-photo disaster shows just how dark—and strangely laughable
41. Westcoast vs eastcoast (retreat)
At an SA retreat, Scott and Austin join the guys to talk sponsorship, first-step feedback, and the difference between doing all the things and actually surrendering. They get honest about ignored phone calls, bruised egos, East Coast bluntness, West Coast laughter, and why J. should never ask whether the butt was good. Somewhere along the way, DSRs become toilets and a missing Patreon becomes a re
40. Live from the Bronco
On the road to an Oregon retreat, J. and Pasha ask whether sex addiction is really so different from other addictions—and what gets missed when we insist it is. They get honest about lust, relapse, ego, withdrawal, and the daily work of making it through without pretending recovery turns off the insanity. Plus: an overprotective car, roadside adult stores, and why nobody needs Captain Save-a-Drunk
39. Do I need to hit a rock bottom?
Margie joins the conversation to talk about women in sex addiction recovery, breaking stigma, and the freedom she found after years of white-knuckling it. She shares how faith, vulnerability, and her husband’s steadfast support carried her through a devastating bottom, while J. reflects on surrender, marriage, and a God who knows how to get our attention. Plus: Jedi mind tricks, step-four warnings
38. I’m Not God, Bro
A fellow’s family crisis pushes the guys into a candid conversation about humility, marriage, boundaries, and the limits of recovery advice. J. shares what years of rebuilding trust looked like, while an awkward downstairs neighbor raises the question of what it actually means to 12-step someone. Then things loosen up with a misguided attempt to sponsor women, accusations that recovery is a cult,
37. Breaking anonymity
A dream studio and a ChatGPT detour into hyperfixation lead to a bigger question: how do you share recovery stories without exposing someone else? J. and his co-host unpack silent meeting regulars, awkward public run-ins, and why “men’s group” is a dangerously flimsy wedding cover story. Plus, they unveil a wildly unethical sobriety-based Patreon and accidentally pray the wrong prayer.
36. Don’t light the fuse
R.C. joins Pasha and J. to unpack 14 years of searching for recovery, the “first drink” of lust, and why changing the recipe can change the result. They get into sobriety definitions, the Big Book versus the White Book, healthy intimacy, and letting go of the need to fix everyone else. Along the way, football tension flares and “bro” and “dude” become a very non-alcoholic drinking game.
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35. My way or the highway
Ash joins J. and Pasha to talk about quitting playing God, loosening the grip on “the right way,” and finding a more honest kind of recovery. Along the way, they unpack people-pleasing, sponsorship, character defects, and the difference between pointing to a book and pointing to God. Plus: yogurt on the microphone, merino wool obsessions, and a long-awaited disagreement that refuses to happen.
34. It may not work for you
J. and Pasha wrestle with what message to carry: the book’s instructions, personal experience, or sometimes nothing at all. Along the way, a vanished beard, a possibly familiar barber, and a ten-minute limit on complaining keep things lively. It’s a candid conversation about meetings, sponsorship, humility, and helping people without trying to control them.
33. We Had to Learn to Like Each Other Again
Matt and Carriss D join J. and Pasha to unpack betrayal, relentless snooping, reclaiming a voice, and the hard work of staying on your own side of the street. Along the way, a timeshare pitch becomes a marriage, an app tracks someone else’s sobriety, and Matt repeatedly tests the podcast’s profanity—and bathroom—limits. It’s a candid look at how two recovery programs helped them move from mutual d
32. Save it for your sponsor (Denver)
Laura joins Pasha and J. to wrestle with healthy meeting shares, graphic details, newcomer safety, and what real inclusion looks like for women. Along the way, they debate first steps, unpack the difference between surrendering and reliving lust, and find laughter to be a surprisingly good antidote to shame. Expect plenty of cliff-bound detours, rebellious recovery, and one increasingly urgent nee
31. Sober Dating, Future Tripping (Denver)
Ethan joins J. and Pasha to talk daily sobriety renewals, romantic fantasy, and why he waited a year before dating. They get real about disclosing sex addiction on a third date, making a partner your higher power, and building a relationship on honest ground—then veer into 20-push-up delusions, tall-guy energy, and the need for a go-kart sponsor.
30. 24 Years, Give or Take 12 (Denver)
Susie joins J. and Pasha at the Denver convention to talk fellowship, service, and the very strange math of reclaiming a sobriety date after years of calling it something else. They get into slips, powerlessness, flirting with roller skates on, disclosure in marriage, and what it actually takes for women to feel welcome and safe in SA meetings. Plus: Vietnam listeners, Pasha as the fellowship punc
29. Secrets, shame, and a snow-covered dumpster (Denver)
Ezra joins J. and Pasha after getting pulled into the podcast basically by accident, then somehow ends up telling a full recovery story from newspaper clippings and secret emails to scary basements, Israel meetings, relapse lessons, and three months sober. They get into rigid recovery vs. letting things flow, why service can work even when nobody understands why, and how shame starts losing power
28. I met God at the car dealership
J. and Pasha start with a mysterious spike of Vietnam listeners and a plan for Denver convention episodes before landing in the very spiritual battlefield of car dealerships, amends, and not buying a car out of guilt. They get into why receiving an amend can feel awkward, how recovery changes conflict, and what it means to see another person as human instead of just “the guy trying to sell me stuf
27. I love lust
J and Pasha get patriotic before diving into progressive victory over lust, relapse shame, and whether a reset means starting over or just getting back on the path. They get into five-second fantasies, “thank you God” moments in Safeway, inconveniently helpful honesty, and why God probably isn’t going to pry lust out of your clenched little hand. Plus: I Love Lust t-shirts, half-caff scheming in r
26. I Am Weak
J and Pasha record from a not-so-private Mount Rainier lodge and somehow turn whispering, staff members, and “no sexaholics in the national park” into a conversation about weakness, ego deflation, and letting God in through brokenness. They get into The Spirituality of Imperfection, Paul’s thorn in the flesh, service work gone sideways, making amends, and why sometimes the thing we hate most is ex
25. Sex drunk in Armenia
Pasha gets back from Armenia with stories about Yerevan, Russian-speaking SA, jazz clubs, and a hostel grandma who apparently knows how to make a goodbye way too intimate. J and Pasha also get into bookending, casual lusting, spiritual fitness, and why connecting with God and using the actual tools might have to be a both-and thing. Plus: chewing ice cream, the Russian slip, Pumba sniffing out the
24. Dumb phones and disclosures
JP get into digital minimalism, dumb phones, and the weird shame spiral of choosing AI music over replying to a prison sponsee. They also wade into disclosure in marriage, whether lusting after your own wife is still lust, and why “mindful masturbation” might be the clearest sign you’re in the wrong room. Plus: listening to the podcast on half speed, protecting Pasha’s ego, nuclear-bomb honesty, a
23. DSRs and temper tantrums
J&P get into whether staying busy actually helps recovery, why DSRs can feel both useful and completely maddening, and what it means to tell on yourself before your ego gets too comfortable. They also talk forgiveness as a choice, resentment as poison, and Jonathan’s very real temper tantrum over a nursery footstool. Plus: cinematic addicts, Taco Bell burrito trauma, The Power of Now, and the
22. Can exposure therapy help?
Pasha comes back from a work conference tired, rattled, and with one painfully awkward problem: what do you say when a coworker asks for your secret podcast? He and Jonathan get into conferences as a minefield, the weird buildup from a thousand little looks, and why bookending might be the most practical tool they’ve found for staying sane in the wild. Also: the guy who read "lusted perverts," one
21. Predators, monsters and perverts
Jonathan and Pasha recap the Sumas retreat, from the very specific chaos of trying to save a variety show with almost no acts to Jonathan leaving early to get home to his wife and screaming baby. They get into recruiting people off the trail, Pasha's red-bandana intimidation strategy, and why Mike K and Thomas completely stole the show with their fake phone-coordinator bit. They also talk about th
20. Free to be me (Sumas retreat)
Kent joins Pasha and Jonathan at the Sumas retreat to talk about being openly gay in SA, why he tells guys to get sober first and sort out the rest later, and how recovery changed the way he sees his wife and their marriage. They get into early-recovery anger, saying the Serenity Prayer in Home Depot, what it was like for Kent to walk into a room full of men, and the tension around who feels welco
19. Let go or get dragged (Sumas retreat)
Mike joins Pasha and Jonathan to talk about letting go, praying for willingness, and what he tells guys who keep relapsing or call in full-blown panic. They get into old-timer relapse stories, why fear can keep you sober for a while and then stop working, Mike's line that some guys just aren't done yet, and the strange peace that came when God lifted his obsession with Jerry and even his fear of g
18. Scared sober (Sumas retreat)
Mahmood joins Pasha and Jonathan from the spring retreat in Sumas to talk about what happens when recovery gets harder instead of easier - scared sober, subtle drift, close calls, and why old-timer relapse stories hit so hard. They get into problem meetings vs. solution meetings, what it looks like when a wife is working her own program too, and the weird little moments when lust starts whispering
17. Getting cussed out by a sex drunk
Jonathan and Pasha get into the weird art of sponsorship - blunt honesty, hand-holding, and why some guys need to be cut off mid-whine. Pasha tells the story of getting cussed out by a sexaholic on a call, the amends he has had to make after taking things too far, and why sponsoring while relapsing feels so strange. Somewhere between sympathy vs. empathy, mystery sponsees, and the question of when
16. Pasha fires his first sponsee
Pasha shares the ego-deflating amend where he found out people were making fun of his "gangster" phase, plus the high-school rap battle win he's absolutely not over. Then he and Jonathan get into firing a sponsee, whether sponsors can quietly become higher powers, and why AA feels a little different from SA—along with AI voice temptations, boba, and one very loaded arm touch at Al-Anon. Somewhere
15. Sex drunk dad
Jonathan is back with a newborn, basically no sleep, and a crash course in how fast fatherhood exposes every crack in recovery. He and Pasha talk through late-night resentment, mental obsession, the "signals" that say something needs attention, and why caring for a baby can feel like practicing the actions of love on repeat—plus frozen grapes, Sprite Cherry Lime Zero, and a few brutally honest lau
14. Is there a wrong way to work the steps?
Pasha nearly loses it when his grand-sponsee pulls out Step Into Action instead of the Big Book—and has to pray his way out of saying something he'd regret. From there, the guys get into whether outside resources like Step Into Action are helpful or harmful, why "clear-cut directions" aren't always so clear, and what step one actually requires before anything else clicks. Jonathan drops that he us
13. Sex is not my only problem
Jonathan and Pasha dive into codependency—what it actually is, why it's rooted in selfishness, and why it might be the next frontier for both of them. Jonathan shares a tense family conversation over the holidays that finally pushed him toward making his amends, and Pasha recounts one of his most complicated ninth step experiences that still catches him off guard years later.
12. Real men don't cry
Pasha opens up about a rough week battling new compulsions — including an endless scroll through a used clothing app — while Jonathan shares what it was like to go from feeling nothing to finally crying at a kids' Christmas movie. They dig into the stigma around medication in recovery, what depression actually feels like, and why the things you don't want to share are usually exactly what you need
11. God is bigger than the Big Book
Jonathan admits he's been pushing his wife away by constantly criticizing her approach to recovery—and realizes he's living proof of what not to do. Pasha wrestles with a Russian big book study that challenges everything he thought he knew. Together they explore what it means to hold strong opinions loosely, and why "I don't know" might be the most honest thing a sexaholic can say.
10. Recovery in marriage
Ned and Jeanette open up about navigating 25+ years of marriage through sex addiction recovery—from the "first year is awful, second year is worse" reality to learning that full disclosure might not mean what you think it does. They dig into the tricky dance of honesty without brutality, the spidey senses Essanons develop, and why one day at a time applies to staying married too.
9. Why?
Jonathan calls up an old timer to ask why he says "why isn't a spiritual question"—then consults his other old timer, ChatGPT (who has about two weeks of sobriety). Pasha shares his step two experience in rehab, how telling God he was angry changed everything, and the freedom of saying "I don't care why—I just don't want to die." Plus: why your internet filters might just be training wheels, and w
8. I'm not the problem – you are!
Jonathan and Pasha get deep on their recent fifth step experiences—from realizing "whenever I'm disturbed, the problem is me" to discovering you can't just knowledge your way out of character defects. Plus: retreat awkwardness, family mediation gone right, and why Doritos are basically lust.
7. 12 step or therapy?
Jonathan starts using AI as a "sponsor" and goes down a rabbit hole asking ChatGPT the big questions: What's the difference between a therapy share and a 12-step share? Which one actually creates lasting change? And what about marriage—counseling or both partners working their own programs? The AI drops some surprisingly solid wisdom, and the guys unpack it with their own experience. Plus, Pasha u
6. Are we recovered or recovering?
Recovered or recovering? The debate is on! Jonathan drops a controversial
bomb by saying "recovered sexaholic" at Tuesday night's meeting, and
Pasha's here to unpack what sparked the shift. After two years of going
with the flow, Jonathan discovered the White Rhino meetings and their Big
Book approach—and suddenly "recovered" just made sense. It's not about
being cured forever; it's ab
5. A weekend with sex drunks (part 3)
Mike’s back for redemption! As our very first guest, we were all a bit shy—well, not anymore. After that first conversation, Mike had to come back for more, and we think he may have caught a new addiction… podcasting!
4. A weekend with sex drunks (part 2)
In this episode of Sex Drunks, we chat with Dan C and Jason L. Dan dives into the topic of rage and recovery, while Jason—well, with that Australian accent, anything he says is worth a listen!
3. A weekend with sex drunks
In this episode of Sex Drunks, we sit down with Mike K, Marty L, and Kyle B for honest conversations about their journeys with recovery—and, of course, plenty of silliness, laughter, and good-natured poking fun at each other along the way.
2. Recap of a weekend with sex drunks
In this episode of Sex Drunks, we recap our retreat experience—sharing stories of the incredible people we met and the heartfelt conversations we had. The whole event was a reminder of the power of community, connection, and recovery. We left feeling grateful, uplifted, and filled with love, peace, and joy.
1. Happy Sex Drunks
Welcome to Sex Drunks. We’re here to talk honestly about lust, sex, and addiction—sharing real recovery stories, laughs, struggles, and hope. This show is for anyone curious about change or already on the journey.
