Third Culture Thriving
Third Culture Thriving is a weekly podcast hosted by Karli Von Herbulis about the practical and emotional realities of building a life abroad. Each short episode offers honest, encouraging conversation on what it takes to create a sense of home culture in a new country. The show is aimed at expats, global nomads, and third-culture families who want to do more than survive overseas — they want to thrive. Topics range from daily logistics and cultural adjustment to community, identity, and wellbeing far from your home country.
Episodes
130. Be Curious, Not...Anxious?
129. My Frequent Flyer Travel Tips
128. My Favorite Question to Ask Global Workers
127. When You Just Aren't Feeling It
126. Understanding Your Allostatic Load
125. Introducing THE WELL: A Soul Care Podcast
124. When Right Now, It's All Too Much
123. Questions to Ask Yourself When Leadership is Problematic
122. Rule of Life: Revisited
121. My Favorite Books of the Last Year
120. Surviving a Summer Trip Part 2: On the Ground
119. Surviving a Summer Trip Part 1: Planning
118. When Unrest Simmers Close By
117. Hello! We're Back! What's Saving My Life?
See You Next Week!
116. Playing the "God Card"
One of the things I have noticed, both within this specific work and in the broader global worker context, is the tendency to play what I'm going to generally call the "God Card." The God Card is when, in a conversation, someone says "God told me to do this" and then there is no opportunity for further conversation. It ends with this card, because we can't argue with "God told me so." It's essenti
115. FREE Resources! A Review
A quick-ish overview of the treasure trove of free resources available for download at thirdculturethriving.com
114. When Grief Travels With You
Today, I want to tackle a topic that can be a bit heavy: grief, and particularly displaced grief, grief that we have to take with us. We're going to do so gently, but I want to remind you: this is a podcast, and you can pause it, turn it off, come back to it, or even skip it if the timing isn't right for you. You have my full blessing to care for yourself well as you consider the grief you carry.
113. When Staff Lets You Down
Today, we are talking about one of the most emotional, difficult, violating things that can happen when we live and work abroad, and unfortunately it's very common. Nearly everyone I know had a story about a difficult situation with their national workers, whether domestic or ministry staff. The truth is, we are all human and we all make mistakes and let each other down. But how should were handle
112. A Tree Glorifies God by Being a Tree
If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, well…you know that there hasn't been much to listen to in the last year. I've been quiet, and while the main reason for that has been purely logistical, I can't totally blame my silence on my schedule. In truth, another large part of this has been the very deep, intimate, internal work the Spirit has been walking me through. It's been special a
111. Obedience is the Mission
A few months ago, we had the privilege of hosting a dear friend here in our home in Kigali. He also happens to be an extremely talented videographer and media specialists and had come to visit in order to make a mini-documentary about our family to help us fundraise. Cool, right? A lot of our time together was spent answering questions on camera. Most of them were pretty predictable- when did yo
110. What's Saving My Life Right Now
My (and everyone's) favorite: what's saving my life! Unfiltered and unedited thoughts about the practices, items, and thoughts that are tipping the scales towards thriving for me right now.
109. WE BACK Y'ALL! But where have I been?
Hi friends. It feels so incredibly good to be back on here with you, after a quite long unplanned hiatus from the podcast. I feel like I owe you some explanations, so, here we go.
108. WSML Travel Edition!
I am fresh off of a month of messy travel, and today I want to do a special travel edition of everyone's favorite episode: what's saving my life. Because travel is a big part of our lives as global workers, whether we travel often or we travel infrequently but very long trips, and having some tricks up your sleeve can make or break your time. So, here's some of my favorites.
107. Overwhelmed? 3 Quick, Mindful Grounding Techniques
Today's episode is an intensely practical one: we are going to explore three different techniques you can use to ground yourself when you are feeling overwhelmed or panicky or even just OFF. Of course, this isn't just something that global workers struggle with, these things apply to everyone, but it certainly does seem to come up for us, doesn't it?
106. Let's Build Your Global Worker Reading List
Today, I want to take some time to chat a bit about some of the books that have been released in the last few years, specifically targeting global workers. I have read all of these books and they have each blessed me in different ways, and I hope they will bless you, too. Grit to Stay, Grace to Go (Eenigenburg and Burkholder) Raising a Family Overseas (Danforth) The Grief Tower (Wells) Sacred Si
105. Spiritual Disciplines, or Spiritual Practices? Which do I Need?
104. A Fourth Quarter Reflection
This week, I want to do something a little different than I've done before, and guide you through a time of reflection and processing, in hopes that the next few months can be joyful, intentional, and leave you feeling exactly as you'd like to as the year ends. We'll go through a series of questions and prompts for you to name and think about. You can go at your own pace stopping and starting as n
103. When Dreams Are For a Season
Hey friends, welcome back to Third Culture Thriving. I'm your host, Karli Von Herbulis. I'm a wife and mom living in Kigali Rwanda, where I serve in my local congregation, run this podcast and online ministry, study spiritual direction, and recently was selected to serve as a Regional Director for my sending agency, New International, based in Ft Myers, FL. But- if you had asked me to write that
102. Reflections on Sabbaths and Sabbaticals
I didn't plan to do a sabbatical over the summer, the way that some people plan years in advance when they'll take an intentional season away from certain professional or ministerial duties. No, my idea to take a sabbatical was born out of the depths of trauma and burnout, and it felt like the only path forward. The last year has been an intense one for me personally, wrought with trauma and confl
101. Lessons from my Summer Off (+3 Small, Peaceful Rhythms to Try)
Yes, I'm saying "summer off" instead of a "sabbatical" for a reason. Because when it came down to it, my sabbatical didn't go as planned in a number of ways. Today, I'm sharing some reflections and updates from the summer, as well as some of the small rhythms I've developed that I'm increasingly grateful for. I hope this will inspire you to reflect on your own last few months with both clear eyes
100. The State of My Soul (+ a Summer Sabbatical Manifesto)
Life feels like a lot right now, both in some overwhelming ways and some great ones, so I feel like it's best to give you kind of a "state of the soul" today. Both for your information, and my own need for processing. And then, to give you a bit of a manifesto as I enter a summer sabbatical of sorts. Thanks for being here.
99. What's Saving My Life (Spring 2023 Edition)
We love WSML episodes! Here's my top 10 as we head into the end of the podcast season.
98. 7 Surprises From 7 Years in Rwanda
97. What Do You Desire FOR Me?
This morning, as I was again ruminating on this, coffee in hand, I heard a gentle whisper: "Why don't you instead ask: what do I desire FOR you?" My breath caught as I let the question linger quietly in my spirit. Am I asking the wrong question? What could the Lord desire FOR me, instead of FROM me?
96. Transitioning Countries? A Gift For You
Today, I want to take the time to walk you through resource that we've provided for free on our website for over a year now, but we haven't really devoted a lot of energy to here on the podcast. I hav e heard from a number of you that are making the difficult decision to transition from your host countries back to your home countries this year, and still others who are shifting assignments from on
95. The Powerful Practice of Retreat
In this life overseas, we all journey through these seasons where life feels like too much, but being able to step away and bring it to God feels like just another impossible thing to add to our never-ending to do list. We might even have tools at our disposal, but often we just need something that's already done and prepared for us. Something we can just plug and play. So, today, I want to give
94. Valuing Family Over Ministry
Today's episode topic is deeply personal to me, because it's been a constant battle in my home really since I got married. Today, we're talking about practically valuing and protecting your family and prioritizing it over your mission. Let's get into it.
93. Navigating Money Requests
Today, we're talking about something that you're all told me is heavy on your hearts and something you don't always know how to handle: money requests from staff or local friends.
92. Random Things to Make Life Overseas Easier
Most of us can make a list of "great things to have in our country" pretty fast by now. Seasoning mixes, seasonal teas and treats, Ziploc bags, essential oils, Western candy and snack foods, makeup and sunscreen and bug spray, passport holders, decaf coffee. We fill our suitcases and our visitors' suitcases with these things with ease. But what about some items to really make your life easier? T
91. MORE Questions for Sending Agencies and Partner Organizations
Last week, we chatted about different questions you could ask a prospective or current sending agency. On Instagram, you all shared so many more, so I wanted to give you a part 2 episode. In addition, later this week we'll have a beautiful download on our website of all these questions, organized for you to used. It's been a great thing to crowdsource, and I'm hopeful that it'll be useful for our
90. Questions for Sending Agencies and Partner Organizations
89. Cultivating a Healthy Marriage on the Field
88. Join Us for a Lent of Prayer and Learning
I've adapted the original 30 Days of Prayer and Learning into a Lenten guide, including journaling prompts, sabbath practices, and opportunities to write your own prayers for your host country. Each day, we'll pray together for a facet of your host country or a relevant topic: for example, for the government, for the lonely, for single mothers. There are also questions top help you dive deeper int
87. Writing Newsletters That Don't Suck
Here's the number one thing I want you to keep in mind as you go through this: more than anything else, your supporters need to feel connected to YOU. Yes, they need to understand your ministry and believe in your "why". But in the end, they need to know your heart, your personality, and be connected and invested in you as a person, as a family. And because of this, not every newsletter needs to b
86. Planning Your Week Well (+ 2023 TCT Overview)
Today, we're chatting about how to plan our weeks well. Between non-negotiables like school or meetings, self care time, and goals we are working towards, it can be hard to know what to prioritize. Let's figure it out! We're also talking about what to expect from TCT in 2023. Plan to join us for our FREE Lent of Prayer and Learning ommunity experience, starting Ash Wednesday, Feb 22.
85. Favorite Things of 2022
An Invitation to an Intuitive Advent
This year, I've been challenged by several wise, older people in my life to move away from a faith that relies on routine and checked boxes, and more towards a faith that is more intuitive and spirit led. Sounds easy, right? But in reality, I relied heavily on very strict rhythms in almost every area of my life to keep myself afloat, including in my faith. And while it worked at a base level, it w
Cultural + Theological Blind Spots
As we get to know how the church operates in another culture, it's to be expected that we find new ways that the Gospel manifests itself, often that are very different from how we have seen the gospel presented in our own cultures. Some things that are only tangentially important to our culture's interpretation of the gospel are much more important and central where we find ourselves now, and othe
Your Minimum Successful Day
The last time I put out a call for episode topics, I got a number of responses about having realistic expectations for ourselves, how to grieve the loss of our capacity and ability to whip through a to-do list, and reframing success. Friends, today I'd like to introduce you to a little something I call the "minimum successful day."
Permission to Try Things On
Much of this life is just not absolute. There are lots of uncertainties, lots of grey areas, lots of things changing all the time. We find one rhythm that feels like it works for us, and then something changes and throws that off. We think we've found the right house staff, but our needs change. Flight prices go up, roads close, your favorite cereal isn't imported for a few months, pandemic regula
Three Metaphors for Meditation
Today, I want to do something a little different. I want to give you three metaphors that I've found useful as I've traveled through similar phases of acedia myself, that you can use for personal meditation, prayer, or journaling. My hope is that these metaphors will help you see your host country as the gift that it is for your journey, and that you would come to appreciate the beauty in the Lord
The Wisdom of Stability
Today's episode is part book review, part hearty book endorsement. I first read the book The Wisdom of Stability by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove fairly soon after it's release. You may know his name from his association with Shane Claiborne and the New Monastics movement, and as such, he is a truly perfect person to write a book about staying put.
Should I Stay, or Should I Go?
Today is a big one, friends. If you'll permit me, I want to gently and graciously tackle one of the biggest questions I get in my work with Third Culture Thriving: should I stay, should I go? How do I know when it's time to leave my host country? I want start by saying that I do not intend to give your any kind of answers or even framework for finding answers here. Simply, I want to give you some
Introducing: our Reflection and Journalling Prompt Card Deck
Finding time to quiet ourselves and process our lives can be a challenge. Our lives overseas can be chaotic, unpredictable, and demand so much from us. And when we do find that space, often we find ourselves so overwhelmed with all of our thoughts and feelings, it can be difficult to figure out where to begin. Our lives feel like one big jumble in our brains. Where do we start? Introducing the
Exercising Your Personal Agency
The status quo, the way it's always been done is only helpful if it's truly helping everyone. If it's not? Remember your agency. The health of your family and ministry are the most important, and from that will flow the goodness of the Lord's calling for you in your host country. Remember your agency, and make the shifts you need.
The Grace of Seasons (Ep 24 Replay)
In keeping with our September Intentions Project theme of Patience, a replay of a popular early TCT episode.
Help! My House is Always Dirty!
To set the tone here, what constitutes a dirty home and what clean will mean to any of us is entirely subjective. So rather than outlining a cleaning schedule for you in this episode, instead I'm going to talk through some principles that you can think about or questions that you can ask yourself, that will help you create your own plan off action. Ready?
The Unseen Impacts of Generosity (+ Some Ideas)
We talk often about the tension between wanting to be as generous as possible and also needing to maintain healthy boundaries. While this is a worthwhile conversation to have, it's one that is centered solely around our comfort and ability to be healthy and continue to give. It's necessary to also look at the other side of this situation- how our generosity affects the people on the receiving end.
Setting Personal Terms and Reevaluations
Is stayng or going constantly on the table for you, because you don't have any specific term commitment? Consider instituting your own terms of commitment and times of reevaluation!
Quick and Easy Health Tips (Anywhere in the World!)
Today's episode is a quick and practical one- 5 quick health tips for you, wherever you find yourself in the world, no supplements or equipment or crazy things needed. Let's go!
BONUS: How do I Sabbath When My Whole Life is Work? (Ep 37 Replay)
In keeping with our monthy Intentions Project theme of Rest, a replay of one of TCT's popular early episodes.
5 Things to do in Your First Month Overseas
Many of us have just slogged through the emotional minefield that is leaving season. Hard goodbyes and identity crises abounded for us, but we've made it. But for some of us, this season brings new adventures. It's arrival season! Families transitioning to new countries are settling in and finding their footing. So, hey! Today's episode is for all of you. Here's five things to do in your first m
Leaving and Loving Well
A quick episode about what leaving and loving well can look like- from the stayer's perspective. A collection of thoughts on what I've seen people do well over the years, and how a "leaver" can be kind and thoughtful to their inner circle as they go.
68. Cultural Breaks When You Can't Leave the Field (Ep 11 Replay)
In keeping with this months Intentions theme of REST, we're replaying a favorite episode from very early on in the podcast.
67. Exactly What We Did to Stay on the Field
Over the years, I've shared my story of struggling living abroad and coming out the other side (as much as one can, I guess) in bits and pieces. Most notably, the pilot episode talks about this in a lot of detail. It was a lot of really strategic intentional work that got us to this place, and a number of intentional choices were made that increased out longevity on the field- and today, I want to
66. Lean into the Shift
Maybe you're finding yourself in a trying season this year. Maybe it's like mine, where you're grieving the departure of friends or colleagues. Maybe you're grieving the death of a dream of some kind, or an unwanted shift in focus, or something you've been praying for that isn't coming to fruition. Maybe you're leaving the field, but it's the last thing you want to do. I encourage you, dear friend
65. Tips for a Smooth Re-Entry (+ What NOT to Do!)
I feel like nobody really talks about how difficult the re-entry back to your host country can be. Yes, jet lag can be brutal, but theres also an emotional wall we can hit when we return, and it can be incredibly challenging and discouraging- and it can hit even if we are incredibly happy and ready to be back in our host country. Today, I want to share some thoughts about re-entry, both practical
What's Saving My Life Right Now
After a brief hiatus for summer travel, TCT is back with a fun episode about the 10 things saving my life right now. I'd love to hear yours!
63. When Generosity Becomes Overwhelming
As we wade through the many places where we can be generous and have profound effects on the people around us, may we be lead by the Spirit and walk in obedience to his calls. May we be wise and discerning, seeking to build up the people around us rather than solve an inconvenient problem. May we be creative and insightful, understanding the implications of generosity and seeking the best way to h
62. Borrowing Prayers, and My Favorite Prayer Books
On today's episode, we are discussing the idea of "borrowing prayers", plus I'm sharing my favorite prayer books.
61. FAITH [the intentions project: february]
What if strength of faith isn't shown in having all the answers or blindly moving forward, but in the ability to doubt and question and wrestle and beat our chests, in communion with Christ and acceptance of his goodness and love for us? What if the growth of our faith depends on this honestly and vulnerability, instead of running away from it?
What if your dream is actually really hard? [replay]
59. Decluttering When You Need Backstock
It's the beginning of the year and my inbox, podcast feed, and social media is flooded with posts about simplifying and decluttering. Which sounds utterly magical. Until. I remember that a lot of this hoarding is not just purposeful, but necessary. Friends, decluttering and simplifying is a whole different beast when you live abroad. But I'm here to tell you- it IS possible. You just need a plan f
58. ENDURANCE [the intentions project: january]
This month's intention is Endurance. Why START with endurance? Isn't that an intention for the middle or last stretch of a project? I think we are weary. The last few years have not been gentle to us, and we don't feel like we are at a fresh beginning of a life stage. Instead, we feel smack in the messy middle of a lot of stress, overwhelm, and unknown. We need the perspective shift, to remind our
57. Welcome to The Intentions Project
BONUS: Year End Planner
I've used a number of different reflection and goal setting systems in years past, but none of them felt perfectly suited for our life overseas. So this year, I created my own, just for us third culture ladies. I'm so excited to share it with you all today!
56. Making Local Friends
Each time I ask for ideas for upcoming topics, someone always puts in "how to make friends with locals". Did we all think that was going to be a lot easier than it is? When I look back, I think this was my most naive moment as I began my life in another culture. I can still see the stars in my eyes as I imagined the community I would have. A community that is, to be honest, nothing like the commun
55. A Greener Third Culture Home
Nothing brings your personal waste into full focus like moving to a country with no recycling system, where trash is either rifled through by your neighbors or, more likely, burned in your backyard. A lot of these tips are mainly geared towards females, as you probably could've guessed. But there are lots of tips and suggestions for the whole household, too. Let's get into it.
54. Are We Triaging, or Preventatively Caring for Our Souls?
We've talked about self care on this podcast before. While it's definitely a buzzword, and often conjures up unattainable images of candlelit baths with large glasses of wine, I do think self care is essential for thriving, wherever we are. But today, I want to address another layer of the self-care conversation that I think often gets glossed over: how we often "triage" our souls with self care a
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