KMFFL Podcast
The official podcast of the Kemp Mill Fantasy Football League. The hosts only sort of talk about fantasy football, and instead spend most of the time gossiping and making fun of each other. It is a casual, humorous show aimed at league members and friends.
Episodes
A Shmooze with Shmu's... Dad
You can get these up a lot faster if you dont edit them
Less than Yaac
Do you know what this episode title is supposed to mean? Me neither, I didn't write it
The future of the Leeb
Freeport, ME - Giant L.L. Bean Boot Marc Leeb's passion is juggling (project peaceful purple) Everything should come in a good time, b'shaa tovah.
How Things Have Changed
The essay we discussed is on page 31: https://www.vaadgw.org/uploads/7/9/8/5/79852514/journal_rh2025final.pdf
Treif Neighbor Beef
Snow blind: how half a ton of cocaine destroyed a tiny Portuguese island | EL PAÍS English https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/57-Overbrook-Dr-Stamford-CT-06906/177213722_zpid/ There was another link i forgot to put
Begin
We referenced a lot of stuff. Here's additional reading:Why Isn't My Dishwasher Drying? Plus How to Fix ItA Brief History of Lawsuits Taylor Swift Has Been Involved InWho is Matthew Kacsmaryk? The Trump judge is hearing a challenge to abortion pills. | VoxPatriots WR Kayshon Boutte reacts to performance vs. Raiders – NBC Sports BostonThere are now 2 kosher food stands at the Minnesota Stat
We Got Games
With the video game theme we had to have our resident expert on to discuss the team names and their games. We also consider our wish lists and what you all get if I win the lotto.
State of the FFL 2025
Bar mitzvah talk, intel from weddings, implied warranty of habitability. what else does a podcast need?
King of the (Aspen) Hill
He is the champion thrice over, homeowner twice over, and league-member exactly once. A monogamous man, he is, king of the aspen hill.
Luigi comes to KM?????
ALLEGEDLY. I REPEAT, ALLEGEDLY.
Referenced readings:
The Onion’s Bid to Buy Infowars Is Rejected in Court
The Most Popular Recipes of 2024
The Story Behind the Greatest Internet Recipe Comment of All Time
Interlude music: klez_sped.wav by shorthopper -- https://freesound.org/s/172858/ -- License: Attribution 4.0
Kevin
an annual tradition. nobody shared the links, sorry. this is also the 7/11 episode, season 7 episode 11. important stuff
https://www.foxnews.com/sports/paul-tyson-ring-girl-sydney-thomas-reflects-newfound-fame-career-goals
The fund raising episode
"Schwatz needs to hear this." - Male Crab
Two-a-days
Well, it wouldn't be a return to KMFFL greatness if I didn't mess up the audio once. I don't think you can recognize it, but this was supposed to sound a lot better than it does. Not too bad tho IMO.
Remember Some Bits
Not those bits you perv!
(actually those bits too. any bits will do.)
Rank 'Em: Going Through the Motions Editions
A pod!
The best days for neders
Make em, cowards.
The Brad Pitt Snub
We do seem to be "aging," and I, for one, don't like it.
#Joey&Tani&YaacovTalkAboutThePats&OtherThings
As promised: Eitan Levine interview. Boo cancer, yay baseball, good for the jews.
Did you do the remember today?
Zecher L'Yitziyat Mitzrayim (K'ish Echad B'Gav Echad)
How do you warm up? If it's not at an angle you must not have nice long hair.
Mawwij SZN
Wally pipping is in the air. Good luck today
State of the FFL XII
We're old enough to do a haftarah I guess. Woe to the O's, nabors galore, and drama about the theater. We're so back boys.
Ezra's Podcast
There's only one asscaast, but there is always the next cast. In this case, it's Ezra's cast.
Variations on 69
The vibes are here, the host is back, i doubt you're listening
Keyboard Mic
Left the music on my other laptop.
Internet Strangers
THE NSFW LINK I PROMISED
Schnabel Studios
Rank em
A Serious League
The only thing less serious than the NBA is the Ben Shap*ro
The Answer to the LCQ is Danny DeVito
No, not Tommy also not Tani. But, Danny. Like our guest. Ezzy
Tales from the 'Spital
when did kevs become kevo? happy thanksgiving
Dan D'Dan Dan
You wish i hyperlinked to things we mention in the show notes. Cowards, all of you.
Office Gentlemen
He doesn't know about this either
kickin' it with KMFFL
Spoiler content. We have two guests, a bombshell, and a few games. Solid ep IMHO. Welcome to the new listeners.
rank em
takes baby. rank em:
forgotten luggage
tanks
tiers
national parks
babka french toast
this year's keeper crop
the guy who got the shas
Marc Show
I decided I won't be naming episodes for pets
Simcha Szn
If you're here for engagement things, you are legally obligated to give a five star rating on apple podcasts or spotify. Shoutout to leeb shoutout aqib talib
The Booth is Back
Uriel really wanted me to call this episode Ham Horn App (not a sponsor, yet). For not 100% clear reasons I decided against that, but I did promise I would make this the show notes. Anyway gut moed for the next couple hours
Commies and Royals
Freeze your meat with us in the Dan Zone™️
lettem off the cook!
We near a time when every day is Yom Adin. Something to pray for this year on Yom Hadin.
Event of the Season
Happy new year. Happy marriage. Happy contingency season. We're so fucking back baby. Be early.
State of the FFL XI
As we enter our 11th year, the commish joins the pod to answer the most important question facing the league: is it too early to book KMS for the league's bar mitzvah?
🚨🚨 The Mishpacha 🚨🚨
Is this the first emergency podcast in KMFFL history? Someone sound off in the slack.
Late Sunday evening we got a Woj Bomb from KMFFL's own woj, Qewman. A detailed investigation has uncovered a secret society hiding in plain sight among the Kemp Mill Elite (itself a gated community – technically they don't live behind gates but you get it). 7 families joined into 1, and have anointed themselves
Chemical Imbalance
I don't remember why I named this episode as I did. It's got a loose connection to the theme, but not much else. Kinda like some of the team names...
Anyway, it's good to be back. Sorry for the bombshell. Wacky day.
NGL this new logo rips. I'm gonna win the league with these keepers. Good to be back. Missed you shmucks.
Podposal
They wouldn’t let me share their registries. Still, two simchas means two intros. Gulp your fantas it’s time for shtick. Remember that stuff we did? Yeah. Me too. It’s all recorded in kmffl. Anyway, Mazals
B2B
This podcast is six of the last seven championships. Pay attention and maybe learn something. We're sweaty? You're sweaty. Get your drink up. Keep your webcam steady. I swear to god if you aren't secure and hydrated, you won't win KMFFL.
But really, when you think about it, if you rap about your nihilism to a bbno$ type beat it doesn’t feel nearly as crushing. So if—just as a hypothetical—you are
Big Macho Energy
Good luck in the finals
Mistaken Identity
Two episodes in a week? IYH. History, but boring history. Good, maybe great fantasy finals incoming. Dinner. Elite Four. Poetry in motion. Jesse, if you see this, let us know if you killed the baddie in the slack.
Baggage Gamblers
surprise. there are a bunches
Late
Busy week, sorry bout that
Happy Thanksgiving
what did you eat today
DTZ
The only podcast that talks about shitting out the mouth
BeLeebered No More
"Feel your balls in the shower." -- Male Crab
Middle C
I scheduled a vaccines, ordered falafel, and got another dub. Pity was there, paying a long-owed debt. DFish is ill but an FP. He was there too. Do you remember the juice boxes?
the enemy speaks kindly & holds a knife
les gens ne sont pas des dollars. les gardiens sont tout, mais toujours une honte. Adin savait. derp.
Distances Between Nickel and Quarter
Today was an experiment. You are the subject. Even when tent is low, the poles raise up high. Higher, even, than a monitor above its table. Prestige keepers / signature keepers / tragedies abound. I remembered you, but left myself behind. If you rub a rodent in the belly, does a dolphin attack?
Shownotes are no longer for you. They are my domain. I am shadow. Are you in or out? Do your best, Slack
This Is Not Work
Doghouse, parents' house, greenhouse, we all have houses of one type or another. What room are you in while you listen? It's trade manna from heaven for our 10th year. LCQ, what was on the menu in the 10th year of wandering the desert?
Sorry Adin. Sorry Sarah. HBD fork.
Good Luck
Judgement day in t-minus 3 hours... just enough time for you to listen to the longest episode of the year and make it to shul in time to say tfillat zakah. Is this our 100th episode? it might be... *shrugs in erev yom kippur stress*
BeLeebered
In his darkest hour... he faces the music. LCQ, what poison is DFish growing
Is there a room for an NPC in the new world order?
Games! Food! Jesse? Follow along, answer sheets below.
Platinum Seeds
Which is more impressive? 10 years of the league or 5 seasons of the pod? Who needs to choose!! We have both. Other leagues are inferior. We talk jewish foods, parallel rankings structures, and run down week 1 in the leeb.
@Leeb lmk what you think about that trade
The Prophecy of the Hug Emoji
This week's episode is brought to you by Super Bowl Champion, the inspiration of both Nelly's best bar and multiple *redacted* team names: Julius Peppers. Episode #90 is a quickie, but a goodie. As :drake-yes: once said, we're here for a good time, not a long time.
Haircut is out of the Covid protocols and ready with TAKES. Meanwhile DFish is in the finals and all the sudden is a believer in the p
🎻🎻🎻
Action packed one. Skimping on show notes to get it out quickly. Get your booster, mask up, and stay safe y'all.
The Pre-Playoff Blues (aka, complaints szn)
We asked for a guest to step up and boy did he. We've got games, tiers, rants, and english muffins too. (Sorry JRubes, no ragamuffins. IYKYK.) Are you smarter than a dolphin? Maybe. Is your DST better than Dolphins D? Not a chance in the biggest ocean on earth. Data. Rants. Confusion. This is a good episode. Listen please.
Blazer
A solid week of gut and bad shabboses. Most bleeps in kmffl history @unclecrab. Team Chaos is live on air. Big playoff ramifications this week and next. We also maybe get in trouble with a major jewish sect. It is a good one, but the last bit is very sad.
8AMs
In college it was very important to avoid 8am, Monday, and Friday classes. Sadly for DFish, Haircut asked for an 8am record for the second week in a row. Trades, dates, obscenities, porn, indecency and a bat mitzva party. It's a podcast. I got the hoodie. Check the slack. Go pats.
The Bells Out The Box
What if I told you one of our friends had 50k followers on social media and didn't care? What if that person spent a decade away from competing in his sport and made a triumphant return? What if he came on this podcast? How does 30 for 30 end this opening montage? I don't remember. I could look it up but I'm ready to release. We talk BBX, Smash, horribly misguided books, F***** Fast Forward, and T
The Most Movember in the History of Movembers
The only part of this podcast that is truly important is 34:01 - 34:03. The rest is still enjoyable though.
Good hair. 600%. Hyperbole. Love for the commish. Trades will never happen. The least moral league of all moral leagues.
A Surprise Trip to Poland
Park East Synagogue is imploding so we did a pod. We talk gush, falafel, kosher chinese, beatboxing, Poland, and shul drama. Plus a quick week 7 review. Important required reading below.
The Battle at Kruger
Bye-IR Beware
Who is an uncle? Where can you NOT get potatoes? NFL newlyweds spinoff. Bad lighting. He of the G**** D*** himself! Plus, maybe Jason isn’t listening… I lost the wrong sound effect, I’ll have to re-download when I’m back in the country.
Postscript: I think Gabe thinks I’m poor bc he suggested that his wife take me to get lunch. We got burgers and fries.
Pitts!
PITTS!!!
vegetablesoup
This is a podcast. About football soup and other things. Mech Mech was there.
Spotless Records Only
The high holiday season might be over, but we are still inspired to bring the intensity of the season to you, the listeners. Catch a beefy goss/gut shabbos/shtuss/LCQ half ep, an ad inspired by KMFFL's most downloaded single-episode guest of all time, tons of actual KMFFL discussion, and a finale of trade shiduchim.
Special thanks to Mitch for helping with the ad on a Friday. That dude is a legen
Undefeated Teams Only
Tani team bad. Joey and Ezra team good. Kevin have Aaron Jones.
6 + 9
Torah U'Maddah has peaked in this discussion between the last 5 KMFFL winners. We put it all out there for y'all, internet warts and all. We also used some of the before ep for a short intro/outro because @LF is committed to 'tent.
Magic Tricks and Gonzo Dicks
Shana Tova. Draft recap, team name rankings, stroot waffles, and draft waffle too. The Magic Trick story is very good. See you all in the book of life.
Lamb Race
We are pumped for the draft. Keepers, zoom names, and a quality anagram. See you soon <3
Kermit the Schrog
We're back in the big time. Producer Ben joins the show to talk keepers, high-octane home leagues, 2021 drafting strategy, and a seed of the grass species Oryza sativa or less commonly Oryza glaberrima. He's got takes, and @adin, you might want to catch his section on keepers.
Reminder that the keeper deadline is Saturday night.
Donate to St. Jude if you want. I'm giving Chai. There's a fantasy co
My Game'a Jeop!
Before we get into the notes, I'm setting the O/U at 1.5 for listeners who get the reference in the episode title. Here's a link to the ref.
Friend of the league Aryeh just finished the third round interview for Jeopardy so we had to have him on the pod. We talk babies, MJBHA class of 2011, video cams, catch rules, and, of course, trivia. He wouldn't comment on what makes his father tick, bu
The Quest for 💯
It's good to be back. No new music just yet, but the 'tent is already a'flowin. Ezra has an implied warranty of habitability to himself, Noam has a ***** ****, we have a draft date, and, as always, we have a smattering of LCQs throughout the season opener. Also, it seems #sidequests is still a thing? @commish, @adin, let us know what's up with that.
The Adcast: Seasons 1 and 2
You asked, we delivered. The KMFFL Podcast gives the community the things they desire. Following up on the first adscast, we are back with the ads from seasons 1 and 2. THAT'S RIGHT!! All the OG ads from the fabled Google Drive season with no filters. I'm too lazy to list all the ads with timestamps, but they're there.
Special thanks to the sponsors, KMFFL wouldn't be possible without you. If you
The Ads Cast: Season 3
You asked, we delivered. The KMFFL Podcast gives the community the things they desire.
0:46 - Jew Apron (S3E1)
1:50 - Tiki Torch University (S2.5E1)
2:21 - A French Montana Song? (S2.5E3)
3:22 - It Takes Tu B'Av (S3E2)
4:11 - The Mishpacha Magazine (S3E5)
5:18 - KMFFL the RPG (S3E7)
6:09 - The Number 19 (S2.5E4)
7:09 - Ambassador Adin
The Lost Prince of Kemp Mill
The KMFFL Podcast is the world's premier Kemp Mill podcast, and as such we wanted to get into the history of Kemp Mill. Who is "Kemp?" What was Hogwash like in the 80s? Is Ari Israel actually from Kemp Mill?
We get into all that, plus crossbow hunting, funappropriate fantasy team names, beers, and a whole lot more on the KMFFL Podcast.
Additional Reading:
If you didn't believe the story ab
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