The Anxious To Secure PODCAST
The Anxious to Secure Podcast is hosted by certified life coach Jula, who helps anxiously attached listeners stop chasing emotionally unavailable partners and move toward secure attachment. Drawing on her own experience, she shares strategies for managing relationship anxiety, rewiring thought patterns, and building healthier bonds. Episodes include weekly myth-busting discussions and deep dives into common relationship questions with practical tools. The show is aimed at anyone ready to feel more empowered and secure in love.
Episodes
135: Your avoidant partner doesn’t prioritise you…UNLESS you do THIS.
grab your daily anxious-to-secure rewriting protocol so you no longer freak out when he pulls away.
If you don’t feel like a priority in your relationship right now, with your dismissive avoidant partner… this episode will feel like a mirror 🪞💔
Because you have communicated your needs.
You’ve tried to explain.
You’ve tried to get closer.
And somehow… they shut down more.
They pull away.
They get d
134: 5 signs you’re in a toxic cycle with a dismissive avoidant partner (and how to break it)
GRAB here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL
to not freak out when he pulls away!
If you keep overthinking texts, chasing reassurance, and feeling stuck in a hot and cold relationship… this is for you
In this episode, Jula breaks down the 5 signs you’re stuck in an anxious attachment + dismissive avoidant toxic cycle and why it feels SO hard to leave even when you want to
You’ll understand what’s really
133: How to break the anxious avoidant cycle (without chasing HIM))
Grab here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL
to not freak out when he pulls away!
How to break the anxious avoidant cycle without chasing him ❤️🩹
In this episode, I share why anxious and avoidant couples get stuck in the same painful push and pull cycle and how YOU can finally break it without begging for reassurance, overthinking every text, or losing yourself in the relationship
If your partner pulls
132: NEVER say this to an avoidant partner if you have anxious attachment (it will trigger him into shutdown))
Five things you should NEVER say to your avoidant partner UNLESS you want to trigger him to shut down or get defensive...
If you keep thinking “why is he shutting down when I just ask for the bare minimum?” this is for you
In this episode I break down the exact communication patterns that accidentally trigger defensiveness, distance, or emotional shutdown in avoidant partners.
You’ll understand
131: Hills I will DIE on as someone who healed their anxious attachment…and become secure
hills I will die on as someone who healed their anxious attachment…
Ever feel like your world falls apart when your partner pulls away? ⛈️
Like you’re overthinking texts, chasing reassurance, and still feeling not enough?
This episode is for you.
In this raw and honest talk, I share the hills I will die on after healing my anxious attachment style and stepping into earned secure attachment 🧠💛
We g
130: you think your AVOIDANT is pulling away… but these 5 signs say he’s trying
Is your avoidant partner pulling away… or actually trying?
here are CLEAR signs he IS trying (and he DOES want you.)
If you have an anxious attachment style and you're constantly overthinking your relationship, checking your phone, and wondering “does he even care?”… this episode will change how you see EVERYTHING.
Because here’s the truth no one tells you:
When an avoidant partner tries… it do
129: *3 signs* your avoidant partner is becoming SECURE (even if they still pull away)
Ever wondered: do avoidants even care? Does he even love me if he pulls away? If you have an anxious attachment style, this episode will hit 🧠⛈️
Because it often feels like YOU are the only one trying…
while your avoidant partner shuts down, pulls away, and says nothing
But what if that “distance” is not lack of care…
but a different kind of emotional growth? 👀
In this episode, I break down 3 s
128: the UGLY truth why you attract avoidant people, men, friends (they mirror you!)
Grab here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL
to not freak out when he pulls away!
If you keep ending up with emotionally unavailable partners…
if you feel anxious when he pulls away, overthink every text, and wonder
“why does this ALWAYS happen to me?”…
this episode is going to feel a little confronting… and a lot empowering
Little warning: DON'T blame ME.. blame your PAST.
Because here’s the shift
127: 4 STEPS: how to detach from a relationship, dismissive AVOIDANT partner from emotions, outcomes!
Grab here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL
to not freak out when he pulls away!
If attachment hasn't work - try it with DETACHMENT... :)
If you’re trying to detach from your dismissive avoidant partner, stop obsessing over your relationship, and finally feel calm again… this episode is for you 🖤
Because right now?
You’re not “too in love.”
You’re stuck in anxious attachment, overthinking everything,
126: why do I keep being 🧲 🚩ATTRACTED to avoidant and EMOTIONALLY unavailable men
Grab here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL
to not freak out when he pulls away!
Hands up if you have an anxious attachment and wonder… why do I keep being attracted to avoidant and emotionally unavailable men?
Then this one’s for you..
…and it’s starting to feel like a pattern you can’t break 🖤✨
At first, it feels SO good.
There’s chemistry. There’s excitement. There’s hope
But then…
He pulls away.
H
125: Why Am I Still Anxious in My Relationship? Old vs New Attachment Theory Explained
Grab here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL
to not freak out when he pulls away!
Are you still feeling anxious in your relationships? Wondering why things never seem to shift, even though you “know” your attachment style?
In this episode, I break down old vs. new attachment theory and show why being anxiously attached doesn’t have to be permanent.
You’ll discover why awareness alone isn’t enough, how c
124: Are all secure men gone? "there are no secure, emotionally available men" proven WRONG
All good guys are taken?
Think there are no secure, emotionally available men left? I’m here to show you why that’s not true… there are actually 620 MILLION single, secure men in the world 🌎 who could be a great match for you.
And the key?
Shifting your own attachment style makes finding them so much easier.
Attachment Library + more offers
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
123: 3 ways you’re accidentally keeping the Anxious–Avoidant cycle alive (And How to Break It)
Grab here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL
to not freak out when he pulls away!
If you want to heal anxious attachment and stop losing yourself in relationships, this episode is for you.
Finally, break the anxious-avoidant cycle.
Why do anxious women attract avoidant partners?
Why does the relationship feel like your WHOLE world? And why does everything fall apart after the honeymoon phase?
Atta
122: *5 Things* to stop your anxious attachment (WITHOUT changing him)
If you're anxious-attached, here are ways to stop your anxious attachment!
Attachment Library + more offers
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
The Secure Woman Protocol (Workbook and 4 step daily rewiring routine)
How to stop anxious attachment.
How to stop being anxious in a relationship.
How to stop chasing an avoidant partner.
If you feel everything intensely…
If you
121: Understanding the Anxious-Avoidant Trap (why he pulls away when you get close)
Understanding the Anxious-Avoidant Trap a huge part of my breakthrough a few years ago, just before I started becoming securely attached.
Before I just could NOT understand...
Why does he pull away when you try to get closer?
Why does it feel like the more you love, the more distance you create? 🌪
THIS will make so much more sense when you go deeper on attachment theory.
If you’re anxiously at
120: *7 ways* How to THRIVE with an avoidant man & make your partner OBSESSED with you
Grab here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL
to not freak out when he pulls away!
How to thrive with an avoidant man, love an avoidant partner, and stop chasing in an anxious–avoidant relationship 🖤✨
If you have an anxious attachment style and you’re in a relationship with an avoidant man, this episode will feel painfully familiar 👀
I break down the anxious–avoidant cycle in simple words and show
119: Avoidant attachment or 🚩Narcissist? 7 OBVIOUS signs how to tell them apart
Grab here your SECURE WOMAN PROTOCOL
to not freak out when he pulls away!
Avoidant attachment or narcissist?
If you’re anxiously attached and dating someone emotionally unavailable, this question can feel impossible to answer.
In this episode, I explain the difference between avoidant attachment style and narcissism, and why anxious partners so often confuse the two.
Some behaviors look similar
118: Brooklyn Beckham & wife 🚩 Nicola Peltz EXPLAINED now (attachment styles, narcissism, cutting off Family)
In this episode, we break down the Brooklyn Beckham family situation through attachment theory 🧠✨ because THIS will reveal the truth, what's actually happening in the beckhams family life NOT gossip.
NOT drama.
NOT taking sides (well..maybe a little) let me know WHICH side you are on, TEAM Victoria or TEAM Nicola?
But real PSYCHOLOGY behind love, loyalty, power, and fear of abandonment
From one EX
117: *26 Practical things* to heal anxious attachment & become securely attached (in 2026)
If you’re still anxiously attached…
If you still overthink texts
If silence feels like danger
If you’re tired of feeling “too much” or not enough
This episode is for YOU.
In this podcast, I share 26 practical, real-life things you can start doing in 2026 to finally heal anxious attachment and become SECURELY ATTACHED not just in love, but in life.
Because this work doesn’t just change your re
116: *36 Life Lessons* Part 2 about becoming securely attached, love, relationships YOU'll need to know
36 LESSONS I’VE LEARNED ABOUT LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS, ATTACHMENT & SELF-WORTH 🎙✨🖤
This episode is for you if you’ve ever loved deeply…
and lost yourself in the process 🫂💔
👇 RESOURCES 👇
💎 Courses
✨ Stop FINALLY Obsessing Over Texts
➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
💛 Free Stuff – 30+ resources
Free Attachment Library
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
If you’ve ever:
115: *36 Life Lessons* about love, relationships Attachment
This episode is for the version of you who feels like they’re behind in life…
even though they’ve already survived so much 🫂⛈
If you’ve ever thought:
➞ “I should be married by now”
➞ “Everyone else has it figured out except me”
➞ “Why do I always overthink, attach, or care more?”
➞ “Why does love feel so hard when I try so much?”
This episode will land DEEP 💎🧠✨
In Part 01, I’m sharing the first 18
114: Why affirmations can make you MORE anxious or simply don't work (for love, relationships, secure attachment))
Why do affirmations sometimes make you MORE anxious instead of calm? 🌪
Why do they feel fake… forced… or even triggering? 🧨
And why do you end up overthinking MORE after saying them? 🧠💭
If you’ve ever thought:
➞ “Affirmations don’t work for me.”
➞ “I feel worse after saying them.”
➞ “They just make me more aware of my fears.”
You’re not broken 🫂
You’re not doing it wrong 🖤
Your brain is just doing
113: YOUR trust issues will make HIM break your trust (Anxious-Avoidant Trust Cycle)
Your Trust Issues Will Make Him Break Your Trust in your anxious-avoidant relationship
Have you ever thought:
“I trust my boyfriend when he’s done nothing wrong… so why am I still anxious?”
“Why do I always worry my partner might leave me?”
“Why do trust issues show up even in healthy relationships?”
This episode is for women with trust issues, relationship anxiety, and fear of abandonme
112: Why isn't my partner saying 🗣️💖 I love you MORE (back or first) (7 truths you're missing)
Have you been wondering: “Why isn’t my partner saying ‘I love you’ more?”
Or maybe it’s more like:
Why does my boyfriend not say “I love you” first?
Why does my husband not say “I love you” back sometimes?
Why does he just say “love you” or “me too” instead of the words I need? 🌪
7 Truths you’re MISSING about love, words, and attachment
Hey love… if your chest tightens when he says “love
111:*10 truths* about men I wish I KNEW SOONER when I was insecure (part 2)
10 Hard Truths to STOP Chasing (Anxious Attachment & Dating Advice)
If you’re an anxiously attached woman who keeps overthinking texts, overgiving in dating, and chasing emotionally unavailable men, this episode is for you 🖤✨
This is what I wish I knew in my 20s about men and relationships
before I burned myself out trying to be chosen, trying to be “easy to love,” and trying to make men stay
110: 10 Crucial lessons👨🏻💼 I wish I Knew about men in my 20s about MEN (avoid my own mistakes)
➞ Take the 3min FREE Attachment Quiz (3.7K others did before you)
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
What I wish I knew when I was 20 about men.
Truly.
What would I wish I had known when I was 20? 🫂✨
These are the REAL truths about men I learned the hard way.
As an ex–anxious attachment girl.
Heartbroken.
Overthinking every text 📱
Feeling insecure WAY too often 🥶⛈
If you
109: *10 TRUTHS* That Make Someone Chase You (and stop obsessing over them)
If you’re stuck chasing crumbs… overthinking every text… or getting attached to guys who give the BARE minimum — this episode is your wake-up call.
I’m breaking down why your anxious attachment makes you want the most unavailable guy… why your brain obsesses over mixed signals… and why you keep replaying his “hey” like it’s a love letter.
You’ll learn the 10 TRUTHS that flip the script — th
108: Pep talk💓🫂 feeling too sensitive, too emotional or too anxious?
💎 (ON SALE)Courses
✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts
(because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,
NOT how they communicate with you)
➞ Grab It Here: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
✨ How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in only 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner...because every minute you're imagining HIM leaving, you're manifesting it, as you're brain can'
107: 10+ Ways you Secretly 🤫 increase your relationship anxiety UNKNOWINGLY (that are NOT even about him)
જ⁀➴ (join 3K OTHERS!)
➞ Take the 3min FREE Quiz:
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
(Know your type so you do the right work)
10+ MICRO-HABITS That Increase Your Relationship Anxiety (Even When They Have NOTHING To Do With Your Relationship)
If you’re trying to go from anxious to secure, but you keep feeling on-edge for “no reason”… this episode is going to BLOW your
106: how to DETACH from someone you love, loved ⛓️💥🖤 (validation + outcomes) RE-MIX
💛 Free Stuff
Free Attachment Library
(30+ worksheets, downloads, guides, flow-charts, prompts, videos, etc)
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
Like the 💭 CHALLENGE 🔍 Your Thoughts - CHEAT SHEET
To Stop Running On Autopilot
💎 Courses
ON SALE:
✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts
(because YOU're BRIAN is the one creating YOUR anxiety,
NOT how they communicate with you)
➞ G
105: MAIN character energy 👸🏻👀for anxious attachment: 12 steps to feeling secure in 2026
✨ Imagine you’re done waiting for someone else to decide your mood, your worth, or your story. You’re ready to step fully into Main Character Energy and lead your life with confidence, joy, and magic 🦄
In this episode, we break down how anxious attachment quietly pulls you into side-character mode
and exactly how to flip the script
💛 Learn practical, everyday ways to own your energy, your choices
104: Put yourself FIRST this Christmas 🎄🎀 how DE-CENTERING your partner can actually bring you closer
💛 Free Stuff
Quick 3-min Attachment Quiz
(Know your type so you do the right work)
➞ Take Quiz: https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
Free Attachment Library
(30+ worksheets, downloads, guides, flow-charts, prompts, videos, etc)
➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
💎 Courses
ON SALE: ✨ Stop *FINALLY* Obsessing Over Texts
(because YOU're BRIAN is the one creat
103: 7 things i’d NEVER do again if i DATED now as a secure woman 🍷💐 (what to do instead)
…and the last one will shock you
7 Things I’d Do Differently If I Dated Now As a Secure Woman
How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text ❤️🩹📱
https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
If you’ve ever met one guy on a dating app and your brain immediately built a whole 10-year love story in 48 hours… this episode is your new medicine.
I’m breaking down the 7 things I would do completely dif
102: the REAL cost of anxious attachment (listen before it’s too late) — what you don’t get back even if you become secure
🖤 ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text
https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
(because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)
FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ (join 4K others)
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
This episode might break your heart a little…
but YOU
101: What does a Secure person do 🧘🏼♀️ when an Avoidant Pulls away
🖤 ON SALE: How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship in 4 Steps
(With Your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.julanoelle.com/overthinkingcourse
🖤 ON SALE: How to STOP needing so much reassurance via text
(because safety comes from within, and you chasing or not settling boundary is the thing that give you anxiety, NOT a delayed text.)
https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety
Ever feel like the SECO
100: Here are 5 WINNING skills my clients used to→ become securely attached FASTER than they thought possible.
Free: Anxious to Secure Checklist
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/anxioustosecurechecklist
Feeling anxious in your relationship? Always worried about texts, attention, or being enough? You’re not alone. 😬
In this episode, I share 5 skills my clients used to go from anxious attachment to secure attachment style, feeling calm, confident, and safe in themselves and their relationships. ✨
Her
99: *3 avoidant* core wounds you NEED to know why he shut downs (it's not personal)
🖤 FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
Have you ever felt confused, frustrated, or even hurt because your partner seems distant, cancels plans, or shuts down emotionally — even when you know they care? 🖤✨
In this episode, we dive into what really drives avoidant behavior. Why do some people pull away the moment things feel too close? Why do t
98: *3 hidden* anxious attachment wounds ❤️🩹 WHY they keep YOU anxious
🖤 FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
Do you catch yourself panicking when your partner doesn’t text back, rearranging your life to stay close, or feeling like love is a game you have to earn? 🖤✨
This episode uncovers why your mind goes into overdrive in relationships, replaying fears, doubts, and “what ifs.” Why does a simple text delay feel
97: *5 surprising* things my 😯 Avoidant Partner taught me about love, life and anxiety
⚠️ Warning: After this episode, you might 01 fall in love with an avoidant or 02 see them through a completely different lens.
Because what I’m about to share may change how you see avoidants forever 🤍🧠
🖤 FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
If you’ve ever felt like the avoidant in your life is cold, distant, confusing, or hard to love… this
96: Q+A From anxious to SECURE: My attachment healing journey (before & after)
🖤 FREE Attachment LIBRARY (30+worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more)
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
🖤 FREE 3min Attachment Style QUIZ
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
I’m spilling a secret today… 🖤
Recently, I filled out a survey for people who’ve earned a secure attachment, and it asked questions that cut straight to the heart of how we actually get th
95: 6 feminine 🎀༘ MICRO habits to heal your Anxious Attachment style PART 02
Welcome back to back 02:
Do you ever check your phone twice just to make sure they didn’t ignore your last text?
Over-plan a date, then feel stressed when it doesn’t go perfectly?
Rehearse what to say next instead of actually being in the moment?
There’s nothing wrong with you. 🖤
Your nervous system has just learned to protect you — and right now, it’s overworking.
In this episode, I share tiny da
94: 6 tiny feminine 🎀༘ MICRO habits to heal your Anxious Attachment style PART 01
If you’ve ever felt like no matter how much “inner work” you do… your anxiety still runs the show.. this episode is going to change how you see healing 🖤
In this episode, I share 6 tiny feminine micro habits that helped me rewire my anxious brain and finally feel SAFE in love.
No huge routines. No big life changes.
Just small, daily shifts in how you do things, not what you do.
Because anxious
93: 🔎 5 dating questions to spot the avoidant (or secure one) EARLY on
Ever wondered how to SPOT an avoidant early on, or what a securely attached partner actually looks like?
Dating can feel like a minefield when you have an anxious attachment, right? 🧠
You meet someone, start to get attached, and only later realize they’re emotionally unavailable. They pull away. You overthink.
Suddenly, you’re stuck in the same anxious spiral, replaying the same patterns again and
92: Too much ❤️🔥 masculine energy? how it triggers your ANXIOUS attachment and heal
Free Quiz: Find your top 2 Relationship needs (before your subconscious will sabotage you by meeting it in unhealthy ways, through like overthinking, clinging too hard to chasing)
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs
Too Much Masculine Energy? The Hidden Link to Your ANXIOUS Attachment
You chase, they pull away.
You panic, they withdraw. It’s exhausting. 🧨
Ever catch yourself texting again
91: Do avoidants come back after space + breakup?🥺 How to AVOID another Push-Pull Cycle
Attachment Style QUIZ 3 min FREE
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
Breakups with avoidant partners can leave you feeling confused, anxious, and stuck wondering: Will my avoidant ex ever come back? 🖤
In this episode, I dive deep into what avoidant partners do after a breakup, including the 3 stages avoidants go through when they pull away, how they process space, and w
90: From inner CRITIC 😈 to Bestie: how to create REAL emotional Safety
How to Stop OVERTHINKING Your Relationship 🚫 🌀
(EVEN with your Avoidant Partner)
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse
Attachment Style QUIZ 3 min FREE
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
Think it’s the world… your partner… the people you date… making you feel unsafe in love? 🖤
What if I told you most of that emotional unsafety actually starts with your ow
89: How to date without anxiously ATTACHING too FAST (4 Stages of Dating)
ow to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
Attachment Style QUIZ :
Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached:
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
Do you ever meet someone new and suddenly feel like he’s the one just because he’s nice, attractive, or gives you a few compliments?
🖤✨ If you’ve noticed yourself rus
88: What happens when the AVOIDANT realizes they’ve LOST you? Understanding Dismissive Avoidants
How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)
"What happens when a dismissive avoidant realizes they lost me?” 🖤✨ A question I get asked as relationship coach a bunch of times.
If you’ve ever found yourself replaying the breakup in your head, wondering: “Is he thinking about me? Does he even care? Will he ever come back?” this episode is for you.
I’ll walk yo
87: how to spot emotionally UNAVAILABLE men🕵🏻♀️🚩10 CLEAR Signs
➞ FREE Attachment RESOURCES
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop
You know that gut-wrenching feeling when he’s into you one moment and distant the next?
When you’re left wondering why he won’t open up, or why your stomach drops every time he pulls away?
That’s what happens when you’re dealing with someone who’s emotionally unavailable.
In this episode of the Anxious to Secure Podca
86: dismissive AVOIDANT ❤️🩹 emotionally UNavailable, or just NOT that into you?
☁️ Grab your The Worry-Free ☁️ Flow-Chart for Relationship Anxiety
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/worryfree
Have you ever dated someone who felt close one moment and distant the next? Or maybe you’ve wondered if your partner is emotionally unavailable, avoidant attached, or simply not interested at all. 🖤
This episode untangles one of the most confusing parts of modern dating and relationsh
85: Do I Have an Anxious Attachment Style? Free Attachment Style QUIZ
Attachment Style QUIZ –
Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached:
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
Ever catch yourself panicking when someone pulls away… overthinking every text… or feeling like no matter how much love you get, it’s never enough?
If that sounds like you, this episode is MADE for you. We’re diving into attachment styles
secure, anxi
84: Gilmore Girls Attachment Styles EXPLAINED *Part 02 (Rory, Dean, Jess, Tristan, Logan)
Stop letting THEIR slow replies ruin YOUR day. Take back your calm in 21 Days or less because your anxiety is about YOU, not them.
ON SALE: the📱💬 TEXT ANXIETY Mini Course
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety
Gilmore Girls Attachment Style Breakdown (Part 2): Rory & Her Relationships
Welcome back to part two of the Gilmore Girls Attachment Style Breakdown! Today we’re
83: Gilmore Girls Attachment Styles REVEALED Part 01 (Lorelai, Luke, Emily, Richard..)
✨ Are you rewatching Gilmore Girls (again 😅) and secretly analyzing every relationship? In this episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, I (Jula, relationship coach) break down the attachment styles of Lorelai, Luke, Christopher, and Emily through the lens of attachment theory.
You’ll hear:
★ Why Lorelai shows so many signs of disorganized attachment (fearful avoidant).
★ Why Luke might not be fu
82: "Unknown Number" Netflix Doc EXPLAINED When a Parent Becomes a Predator - Narcissism, Abuse & Trauma
my personal deep dive into Netflix’s Unknown Number:
The High School Catfish. 🖤 I’ve been following the comments, the social media conversations, and the shock around Kendra Licari’s story — and I want to take this beyond what the documentary shows.
Netflix gave us the facts. But what about the IMPACT?
The emotional abuse. The grooming. The way a disorganized attachment style can trap someone in f
81: "It only takes 8 seconds" 📱 WHY isn't He replying? (THIS will soothe your relationship anxiety)
Grab the📱 ↘"He doesn't reply" Flow Chart (free):
https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/flow
It only takes eight seconds… or does it? ⏰
Remember scrolling Instagram, seeing that reel, and thinking,
“Why isn’t he replying? It’s just eight seconds!”
That’s exactly how anxious attachment tricks us making us chase validation, obsess over texts, and feel like every delayed reply is rejection.
In thi
80: 5 things I would NEVER do as a SECURE Partner (lessons for healing anxious attachment)
Remember those red flats from my 20s (that probably STILL get overthought if not addressed…)?
The ones I wore on a first date, nervously texting back and overthinking every move?
That was me before I started healing my anxious attachment. In this episode, I share 5 things I would NEVER do again as my securely attached self and the lessons that came from years of dating, heartbreak, and self-discov
79: VISUALISATION: From Anxious to Secure Attachment in Your Sleep (rewire your brain to overcome anxiety)
LISTEN BEFORE BED to Rewire your Mind in your sleep :) Struggling with relationship anxiety or anxious attachment? This gentle guided visualization helps you feel SECURE, grounded, and calm in your relationships. I’m Jula, your anxious-to-secure attachment coach, and I’ll guide you to slowly release old patterns and step into the confident, playful version of YOU.
Listen when your mind is most ope
78: PRACTICE: The 3 Shift Anxious to Secure Attachment- Embodiment Practice
Feeling anxious, overthinking, or unsure in your relationships?
Thinking won’t help: action is the solution.
This guided visualization and embodiment practice is designed to help you retrain your mind and body to create security from within. I’m Jula, your anxious-to-secure attachment coach, and I’ll guide you step by step to reconnect with the calm, confident, and grounded version of YOU that’s a
77: (5 hidden) LIES driving your relationship anxiety (Part 02) Cognitive Distortions
Ever catch yourself thinking…
“Did I do something wrong?”
“They’re pulling away... what if they’re losing interest?”
“This relationship feels OFF, but I don’t know why.”
You’re not “too much.” You’re not dramatic.
You might just be stuck in cognitive distortions...sneaky thought patterns that fuel anxious attachment and make you feel unsafe in love
In this episode, I’ll walk you through the 5
76: *5 Stages* How to Heal & Rewire After a BREAKUP (when you have an Anxious Attachment)
This episode is for you if you’re in the breakup loops and trying to heal and move through it.
You said you were DONE. You swore you wouldn’t reach out again.
But now you're spiraling. Checking their last seen. Reading old messages.
Feeling that sick ache in your chest like you need them back just to feel okay.
When you have anxious attachment, a breakup doesn’t feel like “losing a relationship
75: *6 LIES* your brain tells you when you’re Anxiously Attached (and how THIS sabotages your Relationships without you realizing)
Ever spiral after a text delay?
Feel rejected by a vibe shift?
Think “this ALWAYS happens” - even if it’s just once?
That’s not you being “crazy” or “too much.”
It’s your brain running on ✨anxious survival mode✨ whispering LIES it thinks will protect you 😳
In this episode, we’re calling out the 6 BIGGEST cognitive distortions your anxious brain tells you when it feels unsafe - and giving them a l
74: "Dear AVOIDANT Attachment" -If Anxious Attachment Could Speak - 5 Things They’d Say
“I’m not trying to control you… I’m just scared.”
If you’ve ever wished your avoidant partner really understood what’s happening inside your body when they pull away…
This episode is for you
It’s a love letter from your anxious attachment style to the person who feels hard to reach.
And maybe…
You’ll want to share it with them 💌
Not to convince or fix anything - but to finally FEEL SEEN.
What’s
73: Why You Keep Attracting the Same Kind of Avoidant Person (Even When You Swear You’re DONE)
You thought you had finally learned the lesson.
You told your friends, “I’m DONE with emotionally unavailable people.”
You even went to therapy. Bought the book. Blocked the ex.
But somehow… here you are again…
F
alling for someone who:
➞ Pulls away when it gets deep
➞ Says “I’m just not ready right now”
➞ Makes you feel like you're “too much” just for wanting clarity 🩹🚪
It feels like you’re dati
72: Dejon and Megan: The Anxious-Avoidant Trap on Love Island - Explained by a Relationship Coach
Have you ever felt stuck in a relationship where you're doing everything to make it work… but the more you try, the more distant they become?
Today, we’re diving into the viral anxious-avoidant trap through the lens of a very public couple: Dejon and Megan from Love Island UK 2025.
Yes, the ones who:✔️ Became boyfriend and girlfriend super fast
✔️ Claimed to be the "strongest couple"
✔️ Were dum
71."Dear ANXIOUS Attachment" - If Avoidant Attachment Could Speak - Things They’d Say to you
"Hey… it’s me. The avoidant partner you never quite understood."
This episode is different 🖤 It’s a letter from Avoidant Attachment… to Anxious Attachment.
To the part of you that’s been chasing, aching, spiraling not knowing why they keep pulling away 🪞
If you’ve ever felt like:
✨ “Why do they shut down when I get close?”
✨ “Why do they ghost, avoid, or seem cold especially when I need them the m
70: How to Emotionally Detach from Your Ex (Girlfriend / Boyfriend / Partner) in 10 Steps to stop your world from collapsing
If your breakup feels like the end of the world 🌪
If your chest physically aches…
If your brain knows it’s over but your body is still begging for one more text…
This episode is for you 🖤
I’m walking you through 10 steps to emotionally detach from your ex - in a way that feels safe, slow, and actually doable when you're stuck in the spiral.
Because detachment isn’t about going numb.
It’s not about
69: Why Breakups Hurt So Much When You Have an Anxious Attachment Style (and your Avoidant Partner left you)
Why do breakups hurt SO much more when you have an anxious attachment style?
If you’ve been stuck in a breakup spiral, thinking about them 24/7, scrolling through old messages, checking their social media, and replaying every single moment in your head… you’re not alone.
But here’s the truth:
if you have an anxious attachment style, heartbreak isn’t just heartbreak. It feels like withdrawal. It
68: How to Lose an Avoidant Guy in 7 Steps (Your Perfect Recipe for Breakup)
Have you ever wondered why your avoidant partner pulls away the second you get close? Why he goes quiet after a great date, or suddenly needs “space” when things feel perfect?
This episode is for YOU if you’ve ever caught yourself thinking:
✔ “What did I do wrong?”
✔ “Why does he shut down instead of talking about it?”
✔ “How do I make him stay… without feeling like I’m chasing him?”
I’m breakin
67: Anxious Attachment: “I never feel like a priority in my relationship” DO THIS
If you've ever thought...
“Why don’t I feel like a priority in my relationship?”
“Why do I spiral the moment they cancel plans or go quiet?”
“Why is my Avoidant Attached partner always me feel I don't matter..”
Then this episode is for you:
In today’s deep-dive, I break down:
✶ Why your brain + nervous system are constantly scanning for signs you don’t matter
✶ The self-fulfilling prophecy
66: Why am I Anxious in my relationship + Dysregulated EVEN though I’ve Done the Work?
3-min Attachment Quiz, to KNOW your attachment with certainty:
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
You’ve done everything to feel better in your relationship, right?
✅ You journal.
✅ You listen to nervous system experts.
✅ You know you're anxiously attached.
✅ You meditate, you breathe, you even go to therapy or coaching...
And STILL - you feel constantly on edge 🧨
Still o
65: (5 sneaky) phrases I BANNED from my vocabulary while healing my anxious ATTACHMENT and becoming SECURELY attached
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“5 Phrases I BANNED from My Vocabulary While Healing Anxious Attachment 🧠✨ (And What I Say Instead Now as a Secure Partner)”
Ever said “He makes me feel anxious” or “They NEVER show up for me”?
Yep... me too 🖤
But once I started healing my anxious attachment, I realized something BIG:
It wasn’t just my thoughts that were s
64: How to Process Emotions in a Healthy Way (In Just 90 Seconds) ✨ Stop Letting Anxiety Control Your Relationship
Free Attachment Style Quiz:
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
If you struggle with anxiety in relationships...
If your emotions feel like they’re too much...
If you overthink, spiral, or shut down when you're triggered...
This episode is for you 🖤
You’ll learn a simple, science-backed 3-step formula to process emotions in a healthy way.. in just 90 seconds. YES, really. ⏱
63: The Body Keeps the Score Summary + Anxious Attachment: Healing Your Nervous System
Have you ever thought…
“I know my partner loves me, so why do I still spiral over a delayed text?”
“Why does my body feel like it’s under attack - even when nothing’s wrong?”
Or why can't I feel calm when Im telling myself to calm down?
In this episode, I’m sharing something that changed the way I see my own anxiety..and my body.
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk helped me final
62: Q+A Series 3: Can anxious and avoidant relationships work? How to break the anxious avoidant cycle
I remember one night… I was crying. Not loudly.
Just quietly. Silently.
And he didn’t even look up.
I didn’t need him to fix it.
I just needed him to care. To ask. To hold me. To see me.
But instead.. I felt invisible.
Like I was too sensitive… or just not enough to be comforted.
That moment? It stuck with me.
Not because of what he did — but because of the old wound it reopened.
If you’ve ever f
61:Q+A Series: How I healed my Anxious attachment & Why its Easier than you think Part 02
3min FREE Attachment Style QUIZ:
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
🖤 Attachment LIBRARY:
FREE Attachment LIBRARY
(worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more)
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
🖤 1:1 Support + Courses:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
I used to think healing anxious attachment would take YEARS.
Therapy forever. Reading every bo
60: Q+A Series: How attachment theory changed my relationship + life: From breakdown to Breakthrough Part 01
🖤 3min FREE Attachment Style QUIZ:
https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz
🖤 Attachment LIBRARY:
FREE Attachment LIBRARY
(worksheets, prompts, quizzes and more)
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
🖤 1:1 Support + Courses:
https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach
I once threw a remote across the room. 😮💨
I’m not proud of it..BUT I also don’t shame that v
59: the ONE thing you're doing WRONG if you have an anxious attachment (and what works better with the avoidant partner)
If you’re anxiously attached and feel like you’re RUINING every good relationship... this episode might just be your wake-up call
🖤 Do you chase closeness when your partner pulls away?
🖤 Do you try to FIX the disconnection… by doing MORE?
🖤 Do you spiral in your head wondering “Did I say something wrong?”
🖤 Are you exhausted from overgiving, overthinking, and over performing… and STILL feeling un
58: Anxious Attachment Q+A: How to Stop Overthinking and Ruining a Good Relationship - 4 Steps
Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ
Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety
✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached
Are you with someone GOOD…but you can’t stop overthinking, spiraling, or self-sabotaging?
You’re not broken.
57: How to soothe your ANXIETY with 💛✨the 3 Course DOPAMINE Menu (30+ ideas))
Here are Dopamine Menu Ideas That ACTUALLY Work For Anxious Attachment ✨💛
Your dopamine menu is EVERYTHING if you have an anxious attachment style
Why?
Because it helps you stop chasing those quick emotional hits from your partner. You’ll stop needing constant texting, reassurance, or obsessing over every little thing 💭📱
Even that urge to stalk your ex online? 👀✨ It starts to fade.
In this episod
56. (15 STEPS) How to Fix an Anxious-Avoidant Relationship - the pyramid method
Are you stuck on the anxious‑avoidant relationship rollercoaster?
Feeling like every conversation ends in confusion, distance, or chasing?
In this episode of the Anxious to Secure podcast, you'll learn how to fix an Anxious‑Avoidant Relationship in 15 Steps.
I’m breaking down a powerful 15‑step pyramid framework from the five BIGGEST mistakes that keep you stuck, all the way up to the ONE core cha
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