Sam's Healing Podcast
Sam's Healing Podcast is hosted by Samuel, a prominent influencer and YouTuber in infidelity recovery. Drawing on over 15 years of experience creating content for betrayed and unfaithful spouses, he shares personal insights alongside current clinical wisdom. The show focuses on healing after an affair, offering support and practical guidance for recovery. It also connects to his broader project, Ask the Unfaithful Podcast.
Episodes
Ep 81 with Lauren LaRusso, MSEd, LPC, LMHC: They Cheated. Why Am I Doing the Work?
If I didn't cause the affair, why am I the one who has to do all this work to heal from it? That's a fair question. You didn't choose the betrayal. You didn't choose the lies, the loss of safety, or having the life you thought you had suddenly blown apart. So why should you have to change? Lauren LaRusso and I get into that question in this episode, because there's an important distinction here: D
Ep 80 with Amanda Asproni: Why Can't the Unfaithful Partner Explain Why They Cheated?
How can someone say they love you… and still cheat on you? That's one of those questions that can keep a betrayed partner spinning for a very long time. Because if they loved me, why would they do this? Was I not enough? Was something missing in our marriage? Were they unhappy and I just didn't see it? And when they tell you, "I don't know why I did it," that answer can make the betrayal feel even
Ep 79: When the Betrayed Feel Like They Were Not Enough with Melissa Elguera
Today Melissa Elguera returns to the podcast for a conversation around one of the most painful questions betrayed partners can carry after infidelity: Did my partner actually love the affair partner? When you've seen the messages, heard what was said, or learned how deep the affair went, hearing "it didn't mean anything" can be incredibly hard to understand. In this episode, Melissa and I talk abo
Ep 78: Why It's So Hard for the Betrayed to Heal Alone with Adam Nisenson
Betrayal is already painful. Doing it alone makes it heavier. For many betrayed men, infidelity doesn't just hurt the relationship. It hits confidence, identity, self-worth, masculinity, and the way you see yourself. On this episode of Sam's Healing Podcast, Sam sits down with his good friend Adam Nisenson, The Betrayal Shrink. Adam specializes in helping men navigate betrayal trauma, infidelity,
Ep 77: How to Heal From Infidelity and Divorce: Rebuilding Trust in Yourself with Dana Killion
After infidelity and divorce, you don't just lose your marriage. You lose yourself. You lose trust in your judgment. You lose faith in your ability to see the truth. You lose the person you thought you were. And that's the hardest betrayal of all. When Dana Killion discovered her husband had been living a secret life after 25 years of marriage to a high-functioning alcoholic, she didn't just face
Ep 76: Why Quitting Porn Isn't Enough with Drew Boa
What if lasting freedom from pornography isn't about fighting harder—but understanding what keeps pulling you back? In this episode of Sam's Healing Podcast, Sam sits down with Drew Boa, author of Outgrow Porn and founder of Husband Material Ministries, for a powerful conversation about pornography, shame, childhood wounds, sexuality, and what deeper recovery can actually look like. Drew shares hi
Ep 75: Healing the Shame and Patterns Behind Porn Addiction with Jeremy Lipkowitz
What does real recovery from porn addiction look like when simply "stopping" isn't enough? In this episode of Sam's Healing Podcast, Sam sits down with Jeremy Lipkowitz, founder of Unhooked Academy and host of the Unhooked Podcast, for an honest conversation about moving beyond sobriety and addressing the shame, emotions, and patterns that often live underneath compulsive behavior. Jeremy shares h
Ep 74: Why the Unfaithful & Betrayed Both Miss Each Other's Needs with Michael Webb
You keep trying to do everything right. But nothing seems to get through. The betrayed feels invisible. Unheard. Like their pain doesn't matter. The unfaithful feels attacked. Misunderstood. Like they're being punished forever. And the distance between them grows. What if the problem isn't that one of you is wrong? What if you're both responding to something so deeply rooted that you don't even kn
Ep 73: How to Heal After Betrayal Trauma and Reclaim Your Identity with Lora Cheadle
You didn't cause it. You didn't deserve it. You didn't ask for it. But you are the one who has to heal from it. When Lora Cheadle discovered her husband had been cheating on her for 15 years with five different women, she didn't just lose her marriage. She lost her sense of reality. She lost her identity. She lost trust in herself. She laid on the floor. She couldn't stand up. She wanted everythin
Ep 72: Why Emotional Avoidance Keeps Betrayal Trauma Alive with Dr. Eddie Capparucci
If you're in infidelity recovery, you've probably felt this: the betrayed partner is desperate for safety, honesty, and emotional presence, but the unfaithful partner keeps shutting down, explaining, minimizing, or pulling away. The betrayed partner is not asking for perfection. They are asking for presence. They want their spouse to sit with the pain they caused. To stop defending. To stop avoidi
EP 71: The Psychological Games Unfaithful Partners Play with the Betrayed with Michael Webb
If you're in infidelity recovery, you've probably felt this: one partner is trying to avoid pain, the other is trying to get to the truth — and somehow both people end up feeling more hurt, more afraid, and more alone. The betrayed partner wants honesty, safety, and clarity. The unfaithful partner may want to tell the truth, but feels terrified that every new piece of honesty will only create more
EP 70: How Does the Unfaithful Female Find Honesty, Remorse, and Safety After Infidelity
In today's episode, I welcome Judith Nissen back to the podcast for an honest and much-needed conversation about unfaithful women, betrayed men, and what real repair requires after betrayal. Judith shares from her work with women and, more specifically, with women who have betrayed. In this conversation, we unpack what may be happening beneath the defensiveness, shame, emotional collapse, or blame
EP 69: Interview with Melissa Elguera: Helping the Betrayed Find Stability & Empowerment After Infidelity
Today you'll meet Melissa Elguera and take part in a grounded conversation about what it actually takes for a betrayed partner to find stability and a sense of empowerment after the shock of infidelity. We'll gently unpack the chaos that follows discovery day—when sleep, appetite, and basic daily functioning can feel impossible—and begin to outline a path that is both compassionate and concrete.
EP 68: How Men Can Handle the Emotion of the Betrayed with Coach Kevin Benavides
If you're a man trying to rebuild trust after infidelity—or simply struggling to show up in your relationship the way you know you should—this might hit closer than you expect. You walk into the room. She's upset. And before she even says a word… something in you reacts. You feel it in your chest. You start overthinking. You want to fix it, calm it down, make it go away. Or maybe you shut down, ge
EP 67: Guest Michael Webb: When the Betrayed Feels Like They Have to Parent the Unfaithful
If you're in infidelity recovery, you've probably felt this: the betrayed partner asks for change, the unfaithful partner tries to comply — and somehow it still feels like nothing is working. The betrayed partner wonders if their spouse is just checking a box. The unfaithful partner feels overwhelmed and like nothing they do is ever enough. Both partners end up more frustrated, more distant, and l
EP 66: Why Our OWN Healing is So Important After Infidelity
What if your own healing after infidelity wasn't just about "getting over it," but about becoming medicine—for you, for your kids, and for a world full of hurting people? In today's episode, I talk about why your own healing matters, no matter what happens to your marriage. Infidelity can shatter your nervous system, your faith, your sense of self. But it can also become the soil where something d
EP 65: Interview with a Betrayed Male Spouse: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse and Doing the Work
Today you'll meet Bill. It's a rare and powerful look into what it means for a man to walk through hell and choose healing, truth, and self-respect on the other side of infidelity and abuse. As a betrayed male spouse who also grew up under relentless narcissistic abuse, Bill didn't just survive infidelity and emotional devastation—he confronted it head-on and rebuilt every part of his life from
EP 64: Adam Nisenson Discusses The Elephant in the Room for Betrayed Men and Women
Infidelity is often the "elephant in the room" of a relationship—everyone feels its weight, but few know how to name it, let alone heal from it. In this episode of Sam's Healing Podcast, Sam sits down with Adam Nisenson for a raw, compassionate conversation about what betrayal really does to us and how we can move from silent survival into honest, lasting recovery. Sam and Adam explore the devasta
EP 63: Healing is Feeling: Learning How to Feel Again After Infidelity
Feeling anything after infidelity can feel impossible. As the unfaithful, you may believe you don't deserve feelings—or that if you let yourself feel, you'll drown in shame, grief, fear and more compounding failure. As the betrayed, your world has exploded into rage, panic, hypervigilance, and a kind of pain that feels like it will never stop. In today's episode, I'll do my best to slow all of t
EP 62: How to Guarantee Personal Transformation In Healing from Infidelity
If there's one question almost everyone asks after infidelity or betrayal it's this: "Can I or we ever really heal from this devastation?" In todays episode, I share the one real guarantee that exists in recovery—not a gimmick or quick fix, but a way of showing up to your own healing that works whether you were betrayed or you were the one who did the betraying. This is the same approach that he
EP 61 Guest Judith Nisenson Discusses Why Women Also Cheat the Shame of the Unfaithful Female
Today you'll meet Judith Nisenson, a certified coach and expert in dealing with unfaithful women. She's also Adam Nisenson's wife whom many of you will also know as The Betrayal Shrink who has appeared on the podcast multiple times. Judith Nisenson is the founder of Women'sWRK, a Certified Life Coach (ICF-ACC) and Betrayal Trauma Coach (APSATS-CPC) specializing in helping women who have betraye
EP 60 Dr. Jake Porter "How Can the Betrayed Ever Make Sense Out of Their Partner's Infidelity?"
How can someone betrayed by infidelity and/or addiction ever begin to make sense of the experience? When your world is turned upside down by something as devastating and disorienting as betrayal, it's natural to wonder: How do I even process this loss? Where do I turn for answers? How do I make sense of something so nonsensical? In this episode, Dr. Jake Porter—renowned counselor, trauma specia
EP 59 with Sharon Rinearson: "I Don't Think I Could Have Been More Disrespected by my Husband..."
How does the betrayed understand the heinous choices of the unfaithful? "If my unfaithful truly cared about me, how could they make the choices they have made to be unfaithful and go outside the marriage?" How does the betrayed work through the understanding of why the unfaithful had such a flurry of activity for their affair partners, but NOT for the betrayed spouse themselves? How could the
EP 58: "It Was Like a Death to the Life I Had Planned." A Betrayed Guest Shares Her Story
If you're a betrayed partner, you know: infidelity can feel like a death. The death of a marriage. The loss of the life you planned. The shattering of what you thought you were living. For those who haven't faced it, that comparison might sound dramatic—but for survivors, it's reality. The grief and pain after discovering infidelity or addiction can be overwhelming, and "moving on" can feel imposs
EP 57: Dr. Matthew Hedelius: Is My Spouse a Sex Addict or Just Dealing with Sexual Compulsivity?
Have you ever wondered if you or your partner was truly a sex addict? Perhaps you're wondering if you or your partner are maybe dealing with sexual compulsivity? What in fact is this 'sexual compulsivity?' Today you'll meet Dr. Matthew Hedelius Psy. D., LCSW, CSAT-S who has been a regular guest on the podcast over the years and is the Director of Paradise Creek Recovery Center. Dr. Matthew
EP 56: Guest Amanda Asproni "My Unfaithful Keeps Wanting me, the Betrayed, to Rescue Them."
Today's episode of Sam's Healing Podcast features a courageous and deeply empathetic interview with Amanda Asproni as we confront the raw realities of infidelity and betrayal trauma. Together, we examine why so many unfaithful partners desperately want those they've betrayed to show up for them—longing for their partner to absorb and manage their shame, rescue them emotionally, and shoulder resp
Helping the Unfaithful Move From "Not It!" to "Got it!"
On today's episode of "Moving from Not It to Got It," Sam takes listeners on an honest journey through the pivotal moment when an unfaithful spouse chooses to stop deflecting and starts owning their actions. The episode opens by breaking down the psychological reality of the "Not It" phase—where self-protection, avoidance, and justification keep an individual stuck, unable to truly connect with th
EP 55: Dr. Jill Manning: Infidelity, Betrayal Trauma and and the Use of Alcohol to Escape
In the aftermath of betrayal trauma, many adults turn to alcohol or other substances in search of relief. It might feel like a way to escape, to quiet pain and overwhelm, or simply to get through another day. What's really happening is "numbing out"—using alcohol and drugs to suppress painful emotions, calm anxiety, and insulate from distressing memories. The urge to numb out is understandable, bu
EP 54: Guest Amanda Asproni Discusses: What Does Weaponizing Therapy or Coaching Look Like?
When infidelity or addiction has shaken a relationship, couples often turn to coaching or therapy for healing. These tools are designed to help people rebuild trust, understand pain, and create healthier patterns. At their best, they provide safety, empathy, and clarity. But when the language and frameworks of therapy or coaching are misused, they can become weapons. Instead of supporting healing
EP 53: How Could You? An Unfaithful Shares How He Allowed Himself to Cheat
Why does the unfaithful cheat or act out? What allows them to go against their moral compass and engage in an extramarital affair? How do they justify it to themselves? The truth may challenge what you've come to believe about some unfaithful partners. For some it's anger and getting their needs met. For others it can even be subconscious retaliation for the perceived rejection by their par
EP 52: "I Was About to Lose Everything I Valued...." Interview with Ryan a Former Unfaithful
Have you ever wondered what goes through the mind of an unfaithful when they are about to lose everything? Have you considered that maybe, just maybe there are those who sober up, realize what they are about to lose and actually do recovery work? Today you'll hear from Ryan again, a former unfaithful who shares more of his compelling journey to healing as an unfaithful spouse who finally GOT IT.
EP 51: Interview with Adam Nisenson "Well...you did that for them...why won't you do it for me?"
What does the betrayed do when they feel as though the unfaithful just won't do the work? Yet, the unfaithful, seemingly showed all sorts of effort to pursue their affair partner? What choices does the betrayed male have in understanding the heart and mind of the unfaithful woman? Are there parallels between the unfaithful male and unfaithful female? Today you'll hear from returning guest Ad
EP 50: Interview with a former unfaithful: "I Was Afraid to Let Go of the Lies..."
Today's episode is a story that begins where most love stories unravel: with a lie. Actually… with many lies. Our guest today is a great friend of mine and was also unfaithful to his wife. But the cheating, while devastating, was only part of the story. What nearly destroyed everything wasn't just the act—it was the lies that followed. The deception. The pretending. The carefully managed version o
EP 49: Tyler Patrick LMFT Discusses Avoidance and Defensiveness in the Life of the Unfaithful Spouse
Tyler Patrick LMFT returns to the podcast to discuss why we the unfaithful constantly revert to defensiveness and avoidance when trying to heal ourselves or our relationships. Have you ever wondered why you, the unfaithful, will fire back to your partner's questions or comments with harsh defensiveness? Can you remember a time when you WEREN'T DEFENSIVE? What about avoidance? Has avoidance b
EP 48: "I've Got You Now..." A Psychological Game Couples Play When Trying to Heal from Infidelity
Continuing the series on "Psychological Games Couples Play," Michael Webb and I discuss another game within the realm of Psychological Games. This game is not only deep but usually ingrained within the communication style of one or both parties. It's called "I've Got You Now...." It's one of the most insidious games couples fall into subconsciously as they seek to heal from infidelity and bet
EP 47: A One on One Discussion with Psychotherapist Lauren LaRusso on Infidelity and Betrayal Trauma
Today you'll meet Lauren LaRusso, a well known face on social media and true expert to those looking for hope, healing and new life after the discovery of infidelity. Lauren holds a bachelor's degree in Psychology and Creative Writing from The College of the Holy Cross in Worcester, MA, and a Masters in Professional Counseling from The University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, PA. In her year
EP 46: A Betrayed Male Shares His Story of How He & His Wife Saved Their Marriage After Infidelity
Healing from infidelity is no easy task. Whether a betrayed male or female, the pain can feel as though it has no purpose, no redemption and no light at the end of the tunnel. Today you'll meet Randall who shares his own story of not only excruciating emotional pain and hurt, but also how he and his wife have found healing, joy and redemption. Randall pulls no punches as he shares insight int
EP 45: "We're Stuck After the Disclosure of Infidelity" When is it Time for an Intensive?
Today, relationship and expert therapist James Annear joins me to discuss when it's time to forgo individual or couples work and proceed right ahead to an intensive. If you're on my page, you know the disclosure of infidelity is a devastating moment in any relationship. Whether the betrayal was emotional, physical, or both, it strikes at the core of trust and safety between partners. While many c
EP 44: Featuring Michael Webb and Psychological Games Couples Play: "If It Weren't for You..."
Continuing the series on "Psychological Games Couples Play," Michael Webb and I discuss another game within the realm of Psychological Games called If It Weren't for You. Ever find yourself in the same frustrating argument with someone, especially your spouse— even though it starts off innocent and you swear this time it'll go differently? But somehow, it spirals into a familiar mess? That's not
EP 43: Interview with Adam Nisenson LMFT, Author of A Man's Guide to Partner Betrayal
Meet Adam Nisenson, known as the Betrayal Shrink. Adam combines his extensive clinical skills with a deeply empathetic heart in his role as a Betrayal Trauma Coach. Licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, Adam is dedicated to guiding men through the complex emotions and challenges of betrayal trauma. He's also the author of A Man's Guide to Partner Betra
EP 42: Kevin, A Betrayed Male's Journey with Infidelity, Autism and Incomprehensible Trauma
Today you'll meet a friend of mine, Kevin who shares his own journey with infidelity as a betrayed male and Autism. Autism, or Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how a person perceives the world and interacts with others. It's called a "spectrum" because it includes a wide range of characteristics and levels of support needs, from mild to significant. Ke
EP 41: Featuring John Lee: Help for the Enmeshed Unfaithful Partner Healing from Infidelity and Shame
Today John Lee joins me to discuss how enmeshment shows up in the life of the unfaithful partner as they wrestle to find freedom from shame and emotional immaturity. You'll find John's humor and straight forward nature to not only be a breath of fresh air, but validating for the betrayed partner and liberating for the unfaithful. We roam free today discussing how safety is an inside job for both
EP 40: Interview with Amanda Asproni: What is Enmeshment and How Does it Affect Affair Recovery Work?
Enmeshment is a term from psychology that describes a relationship dynamic where personal boundaries are overly blurred, and people become emotionally over-involved with each other. It often happens in families or close relationships, where one person's emotions, needs, or identity are heavily entangled with another's, to the point that individual autonomy is lost. For example, a parent might rely
EP 39: Interview with Max: How Does the Betrayed Partner Deal with Comparisons with the Affair Partner?
How do you reclaim your worth when your reflection is distorted by someone else's betrayal—when every glance in the mirror whispers, 'they chose them over me".... or "they gave them what they wouldn't give me?" The cruelest part of infidelity isn't just the betrayal—it's the quiet, relentless comparison that follows. Today you'll hear from frequent guest Max and how he was able to break free f
EP 38: Interview with Michael Webb: Understanding the 'Psychological Games' Couples Play With Each Other
Ever find yourself in the same frustrating argument with someone, especially your spouse— even though it starts off innocent and you swear this time it'll go differently? But somehow, it spirals into a familiar mess? That's not just bad luck. You might be stuck in a psychological game. Psychological games are repetitive patterns of hidden communication people play with each other, often unconsciou
EP 37: Samuel and Michael Webb: What Do You Do When You Don't Have Control Over Your Spouse's Behavior?
What do you do when you don't have control over your spouse's behavior? What do you do when they won't forgive you, if you're an unfaithful? What do you do when your unfaithful won't do recovery work or won't go all in when you're a betrayed? What do you do when you or your partner associate pain with vulnerability or intimacy due to childhood or developmental trauma? We call this feeling powerles
EP 36: Interview with Max, A Betrayed Male: "I Didn't Want to Believe This Was Happening to Me."
Today Max and I discuss a poignant moment in his own compelling journey where he admits "I didn't want to believe this was happening to me." As you'll hear in today's raw and personal discussion, infidelity and denial are deeply intertwined issues that can have a profound impact on the betrayed spouse. Whether male or female, infidelity strikes at the core of our being, creating a staggering feeli
EP35: Samuel Interviews Johnathan Who Shares His Journey of Healing From Cancer & His Wife's Affair
Today you'll meet Jonathan, a friend of mine and survivor of both infidelity and stage four cancer. Yes, he's a victim of infidelity as a betrayed male, but he's also a warrior which is what any betrayed partner is who decides to keep on living after such devastating pain. Betrayal can hit particularly hard for men due to several deep-rooted psychological, cultural, and emotional factors. Betrayal
EP 34: Interview w/a CPTSD Expert & Neuroscientist on Infidelity, Betrayal Trauma & Psychotropics
The topic of CPTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) and infidelity is important because infidelity can trigger complex trauma responses, especially for individuals who have a history of unresolved trauma or are vulnerable to the effects of betrayal. The intersection of these two can cause profound emotional and psychological damage, making it crucial to understand how infidelity can exacer
EP 33: Samuel Interviews Paige A Betrayed Female Spouse: "I'm So Much Stronger Than I Thought I Was"
Today you'll meet Paige, a betrayed spouse who is both courageous, vibrant and resilient. Months ago on Samuel's Instagram there were several poems that were written that were moving, powerful and gut wrenching all at the same time. Paige was in fact the author of those poems and has agreed to share some of her story with the audience. While some marriages don't make it, Paige's marriage is thrivi
EP 32: Interview with Max a Betrayed Male Spouse on Toxic Comparisons with the Affair Partner
How does the betrayed deal with comparisons to the affair partner(s)? This issue remains one of the most difficult, overwhelming and traumatizing aspects of infidelity. Why wasn't I enough? Why wasn't I enough for them to stay committed to the marriage? What was lacking in me or in our relationship that would lead them to go outside the marriage or relationship? Today Max and I discuss how he's be
EP 31: Samuel Interviews Max, A Betrayed Male Who Shares His Story of How He Dealt With Shame
A soon to be regular contributor to the podcast, Max returns to discuss the shame of the betrayed male. While not entirely different than the betrayed female, Max goes to great length to describe his own shame and trauma associated with his wife's multiple affairs. From isolation to loneliness, to embarrassment and outright despair, Max takes us down a journey of just how hard it was to find his f
EP 30: Samuel Interviews Max, a Betrayed Male Spouse Who Shares His Courageous Story of Healing
Today you'll meet a great friend of mine by the name of Max. He's an author of two books, an editor, a guitar player, a gracious speaker and unfortunately a betrayed male spouse. Today you'll hear some of his story and more importantly, all of his heart. I've said this in videos, written blogs and interviews over close to 20 years that the journey of the betrayed male spouse is different. It's nua
EP 29: Dr. Debi Silber PhD Discusses Betrayal Trauma & The Post Betrayal Transformation Institute with Sam
Do people really heal from infidelity? Do people ever really get their lives back after being betrayed? What does it mean to actually be a survivor of infidelity and betrayal? Today you'll meet the epitome of not only someone who has healed from infidelity but has returned from the depths of pain and agony to light the way for others to heal. Dr. Debi Silber PhD has become a household name for sur
EP 28: What is a Trauma Bond and Is It Possible to Break Free? Trauma Expert Amanda Asproni Joins Sam
What is a trauma bond? Are you or someone you know lost in one? Is it just an infidelity issue or can you be trauma-bonded to someone who hasn't cheated on you? Today on the podcast I speak with regular contributor, Amanda Asproni and discuss these types of bonds, how addicting they are, and how to find freedom and healing from such a bond. We often wonder, "Why can't I break free of him or her?"
EP 27: Trauma Expert Amanda Asproni Discusses the Anxious Attachment Style, Infidelity and Betrayal Trauma
Are you or your partner anxious when it comes to an attachment style? What is the anxious attachment style you might ask? An anxious attachment style is a type of insecure attachment that causes people to feel a deep need for validation and reassurance from others often preventing that individual from living a secure life relationally. People with an anxious attachment style may: Fear rejection
EP 26: Trauma Specialist Amanda Asproni on Understanding the Unfaithful Partner's Avoidance & Resistance
As a betrayed partner, have you ever wondered why your spouse or partner is so avoidant with you? Maybe you're an unfaithful and wonder why you have such significant trouble communicating your emotions, needs and overall feelings? Today on the podcast, trauma expert Amanda Asproni and I discuss two of the most complex attachment styles: the dismissive avoidant and the fearful avoidant and how they
EP 25: Dr. Jill Manning Discusses the Effect of Snooping on the Betrayed & How to Live Above Suspicion
If you're an unfaithful spouse, let me ask you a question that will define your recovery work: Are You Living Above Suspicion? If not, why? How can we expect the betrayed partner to trust us, lean into us, move towards us or even give us their heart again if we're not committed to living above suspicion? If you're a betrayed, is your partner committed to living above suspicion? Or, do you feel lik
EP 24: Michael Webb and Samuel Discuss Infidelity, Betrayal Trauma and Self-Compassion
Today on the podcast I discuss Infidelity, Betrayal Trauma and Self-Compassion with frequent guest clinician and trauma expert Michael Webb. For decades it's been known that shameful people do shameful things and commit heinously shameful acts. But how do we heal the shame while also owning our behavior and destructive choices as unfaithful spouses? How do we show remorse and empathy to our betray
EP 23: Expert Interview with Tyler Patrick: How and Why Did We Become So Avoidant in our Relationships?
Are you an avoidant? Are you married to one? If you're married to an avoidant, you're probably frustrated as all get out with them, unless you too are an avoidant? If you're an avoidant you might be wondering what all the fuss is about and why is everyone making such a big deal about it? So what, you avoid conflict and shy away from confrontation and intimacy, what's the issue? Well, today I've in
EP 22: Understanding the Inner Child, Infidelity & Problematic Sexual Behaviors with Eddie Capparucci PhD
For decades the 'inner child' has been a topic of confusion and misunderstanding as it relates to infidelity, problematic sexual behaviors and restoring both marriages and individuals. What actually is the inner child? Can I, an unfaithful, blame my inner child for my choices and affair(s)? Don't I have power over my own choices? Is the 'inner child' just an excuse for my affair or addiction? Toda
EP 21: Why the Betrayed and Unfaithful Need to Know 'The Why' of the Affair: Interview with an Expert
Understanding 'the why' of the affair is vital for a variety of reasons including but not limited to relapse prevention, safety for the betrayed and long term healing for both parties. If an unfaithful doesn't know why they had an affair or acted our, how can they expect to prevent it from happening again in the future? How can they assure their partner they'll never do it again when they were nev
EP 20: Tyler Patrick Discusses How to Help the Unfaithful Develop Shame Resilience After Infidelity
Today on the podcast you'll meet Tyler Patrick who is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Tyler shares his down to earth insight into how the unfaithful spouse can develop what he calls 'shame resilience.' Without the ability for the unfaithful to be resilient to shame, we'll continue to make every situation and conversation about us instead of our spouse or partner or even children. As long
EP 19: Sharon Rinearson Discusses the Use of Boundaries for the Betrayed After Infidelity
Have you ever wondered how to establish and keep your boundaries up after infidelity? What about when the betrayed struggles with abandonment or low self worth? How do they even determine what boundaries they need to set in the first place? Today you'll hear a no nonsense, heart to heart talk from expert clinician and survivor of infidelity, Sharon Rinearson as she shares how she made it through h
EP 18: Dr. Jill Manning: 5 Pillars of Maturity for Those Trying to Heal from Infidelity or Addiction
Dr. Jill manning is quickly becoming a regular on Sam's Healing Podcast, encouraging both the unfaithful and the betrayed to find a new level of emotional maturity. While betrayal trauma can feel insurmountable, it's clearly not due to the insight and direction and hope that we can heal from the wisdom of Dr. Manning. While last time we discussed five signs of emotional immaturity, this week we di
EP 17: Author John Lee Discusses Growing Yourself Back Up and How to Better Show Up for our Partner
Today you'll meet a great friend and hero of mine, author John Lee. Author of over 25 books, and known therapist to therapists, John Lee has been a guest on Oprah, The View, 20/20, PBS and Barbara Walters. The father of Regression one might say, shares his poignant insight into how we regress in life and how to grow ourselves back up. "Regression is what happens to us when we leave the present mom
EP 16: Dr. Jill Manning Shares 5 Markers of Emotional Immaturity that Help Explain Infidelity and Affairs
Today you'll meet Dr. Jill Manning who shares five key markers of emotional immaturity that help explain why we have affairs and develop addictions. An expert in her own right but compassionate to the wounds of both the betrayed and the unfaithful, Dr. Manning helps explain what emotional immaturity looks like in the unfaithful and how they can take practical steps to heal themselves and quite pos
EP 15: Dr. Matthew Hedelius Discusses Desire, Infidelity & and Erectile Dysfunction in Relationships
Should a couple explore novelty in their sexuality? What about if that marriage has been affected by infidelity or addiction? If you're dealing with erectile dysfunction, what steps can you take practically to help bring about healing, change and mutual fulfillment? It's these types of questions that require an expert's protocol. Dr. Matthew Hedelius is a true expert in problematic sexual behavior
EP 14: Jordan: A Betrayed Male Shares His Story About His Wife's Infidelity
Today you'll meet Jordan, a great friend and survivor of infidelity. The nuances to the betrayed male story are different, yet not worse nor better than the betrayed female. They are however, very challenging. It's my opinion betrayed males all over the world continue to feel ostracized and embarrassed, feeling as though they are some sort of albatross with little to no one to relate to. The inter
EP 13: Interview with Dr. Jake Porter: Helping the Betrayed Deal with a Narcissistic Partner
Today I welcome back Dr. Jake Porter into the podcast to discuss how the betrayed partner can deal with an unfaithful, narcissistic spouse while trying to save a marriage. It's a given that narcissism alone can be difficult to maneuver but coupled with infidelity and/or addiction and it can seem absolutely insurmountable. The good news is, while it may feel like there is literally no tomorrow fo
EP 12: Can You Get Your Life Back After Infidelity and Betrayal? Interview with an Expert Tammy Gustafson
Have you ever wondered if you can get your life back after infidelity or addiction? Maybe you feel, at this moment, there's no way in hell you could get your life back and you'll never make it through this awful chapter of your life? It's a normal belief that we'll never be the same again, until we meet someone who is on the other side of the awful ordeal we're going through and they give us hope.
EP 11: Dr. Matthew Hedelius Discusses Infidelity, Addiction and Regulating our Central Nervous System
Today I'm joined by expert clinician Dr. Matthew Hedelius who specializes in infidelity, addiction and problematic sexual behaviors. While the director of Paradise Creek Recovery Center, Dr. Hedelius also provides both practical and multilayered insight into how to care for partners of those who struggle with infidelity and addiction. With a delicate scalpel you'll hear comforting insight into r
EP 10: Infidelity, Victimization and How the Betrayed Can Create Their Own Safety in Recovery Work with James Annear
Have you ever felt like you were the victim in your marriage or relationship? Maybe you've even felt like a victim all your life? It's also possible you've felt like your partner continually reverts back to a victim mindset in your situation? I wonder if they do it not just because they are a betrayed partner, but perhaps something in their childhood affected them so deeply that it's ingrained
EP 9: Finding Meaning When Your Life is in Shambles with Dr. Jake Porter
Today you'll meet a new friend, Dr. Jake Porter who shares insight into how to find meaning amidst the rubble of our own choices or our partner's after infidelity or addiction. Not only an expert in recovery work, Dr. Porter has experienced his own pain and heartbreak which provides a framework of compassion, insight and expert help for those looking for a reason to keep going. A survivor himsel
EP 8: The Sacrificing of Our Authenticity As We Heal from Infidelity or Addiction with Michael Webb
Today I'm joined once again by my great friend, mentor and colleague Michael Webb. I hope you'll join us today as we participate in fascinating discussion on how we sacrifice, if not abandon ourselves in the pursuit of closeness, oneness and hopeful restoration with our partner. The difficulty in this is we run the chance of losing ourselves, yet gaining a relationship back. But how solid is th
EP 7: Infidelity & Trauma: A Discussion with an Expert Therapist Amanda Asproni
Today you'll hear from one of our favorite guests, a fan favorite and expert clinician, Amanda Asproni. Not only an expert in dealing with infidelity, addiction, and various forms of trauma, she's also a survivor of infidelity, trauma and narcissistic abuse. I ask her the tough questions today as she discusses how various forms of trauma can make healing from infidelity and addiction different t
EP 6: Was I the Reason My Spouse Cheated? Was I Not Enough? with James Annear & Sharon Rinearson
Today I welcome back in podcast regulars, James and Sharon to discuss why partners cheat in relationships. It's a common burden the betrayed carry: that somehow they are the reason their spouse or partner cheated and they were not enough. Since they are then are responsible for their partner's cheating, they cannot draw boundaries, have hard expectations of their mate, and are then powerless i
EP 5: Intimacy Avoidance, Childhood Trauma & Infidelity with James Annear
Today, a great friend of mine and an expert clinician, James Annear, discusses intimacy avoidance, childhood trauma, and infidelity. While digging deep into his own training and education James also shares masterful insight from personal experience with his own trauma and avoidance. Have you ever wondered why your spouse, particularly the unfaithful spouse is super avoidant? Have you ever felt lik
EP 4: 7 Keys to Healing and Preventing Childhood Trauma in Our Kids and Ourselves with Tom Gagliano
Today you'll hear from developmental trauma expert Tom Gagliano on how to create safety for our kids. What if we could help our kids heal from trauma? What if we could prevent our kids from owning what they were never intended to own? From shame to humiliation to unnecessary guilt, what if we could spare our kids from our own baggage and trauma while also equipping them to live lives of joy, freed
EP 3: Meet Jake: A Former Unfaithful and Betrayed Spouse Healing from Infidelity and Betrayal Trauma
Today you'll meet a friend and survivor of both his own infidelity and his wife's. From depression to anxiety, to hopelessness and despair, Jake shares his own private hell for those who feel like they're alone in their suffering. While he and his family are on the upswing doing great, their story takes an awful turn early on in recovery and you'll hear how he and his wife not only found restorati
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