Flying Free

"What if I'm the Abuser?" Is There Such a Thing as "Reactive Abuse?" [388] Sep 15, 2026 4090 This is a replay of one of the most listened to episodes in the Flying Free Podcast archives, and it’s such a good one, I thought I’d reshare it for our new listeners! If you've ever screamed, thrown something, said something you regret, and then wondered if you’re the abusive one, this conversation will clear that up for you. Our guest, Annette Oltmans breaks down what's really happening

Are You Estranged From a Parent or Adult Child? The Complicated Reasons and Layers of Pain in Parent/Adult-Child Estrangement [387] Sep 8, 2026 5152 Family estrangement. It’s kind of big on social media right now, but not always in a healthy kind of way. Gretchen Baskerville, author of The Life Saving Divorce, has done research on this, and she’s discovered nine types of family estrangement. Chances are, you’ve had a brush with…or are experiencing…at least one type. Watch or listen in to hear real stories that show how addiction, cont

4 Types of Trauma Bond Withdrawal Symptoms You Need to Know [386] Sep 1, 2026 2564 If you are stepping away from an emotionally or spiritually destructive marriage and suddenly feel hit by severe anxiety, physical illness, obsessive thoughts, or a desperate urge to run back, you may be experiencing trauma bond withdrawal.When a relationship alternates between unpredictable emotional mistreatment and periods of seeming “niceness,” your body builds a biological and neuroc

What Is the "Tradwife" Trend Really Selling Christian Women? [385] Aug 25, 2026 4535 In this episode, we’re doing something a little different. I’m opening up my private monthly book club discussion (usually just for Flying Higher members) and sharing it with you. This month we read the bestselling novel Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke. We get into the tradwife aesthetic, performative Christianity, and the difference between a woman who genuinely loves a homemaking life a

Is Emotional Neglect Abusive? [384] Aug 18, 2026 1173 Let’s talk about emotional neglect. Can we really categorize this as “abuse?” I say we can, and in today’s episode, I’m going to tell you why. In this episode, you’ll learn:Five specific ways emotional neglect shows up in a marriageWhy silence can be more controlling than yellingWhat your nervous system does when someone ignores youThe question every neglected wife asks herself over and o

What's Gaslighting? Part Two: Four More Narcissistic Gaslighting Tactics and How to Unhook Aug 11, 2026 2513 This is part two of our series on the subtle gaslighting tactics emotional abusers and narcissists use in Christian marriage. You'll hear four more specific examples of what he says, why he says it, what it triggers in you, and the precise words to say back so the tactic stops working on you for good.Key Takeaways:There's a reason your husband can turn any conversation about his behavior

What's Gaslighting? How to Spot the Subtle Signs You're Being Manipulated Part One [382] Aug 4, 2026 2516 Today we’ll talk about one of the most disorienting experiences Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages face: gaslighting. But we aren’t going to just define what gaslighting is. I’m going to break it down into all the tiny parts and give you some specific stories so you can see exactly what’s going on and WHY. You’ll learn three specific tactics gaslighters use, why they use the

Healing From Religious Trauma: A Survivor's Roadmap with Tia Levings [381] Jul 21, 2026 3048 Tia Levings is the New York Times bestselling author of A Well-Trained Wife and her newest book, I Belong to Me. She survived a Christian patriarchy cult, escaped a near murder-suicide, was excommunicated for telling her own story, and spent 15 years in intensive trauma therapy doing the work to put herself back together. Now she's handing you the map to healing from religious trauma.In t

What if “Biblical Womanhood” is Actually a Trauma Response? [380] Jul 7, 2026 2415 Let’s talk about something called “the subjugation schema.” It's a clinical pattern that secular psychologists are actively trying to help women heal from, and the conservative Christian church has rebranded the exact same wound as godliness, biblical womanhood, and a high calling.If you've spent your life apologizing for taking up space, smiling when you wanted to scream, or feeling guil

Is Your Church Actually Safe for Abuse Survivors? Here's How to Find Out [379] Jun 23, 2026 1136 In this episode I’m answering a pressing question Christian women in difficult marriages ask: how do you find a church that will actually support you instead of silence you?Because not all churches are created equal, and the difference between a safe church and a harmful one can change everything for a woman trying to find her footing. I’ll break down exactly what to look for, what to ask

The Pastor's Wife Nobody Saw: Jessica's Story [378] Jun 9, 2026 4756 In this episode, I sit down with my real-life friend Jessica, a pastor's wife whose story intersects with mine: her husband was a pastor at the very church that excommunicated me. What started as a conversation about her story turned into one of the most layered, honest episodes I think we've ever recorded.Jessica spent decades being told her emotions were idols, her feelings weren't fact

Finding Your Freedom, Autonomy, and Independence - High Functioning Women Series Part Four [377] May 26, 2026 1663 This is part four of the High Functioning Christian Women in Destructive Marriages series, and today we talk about a concept that ties the whole series together: sovereignty. Synonyms for sovereignty include: freedom, autonomy, and independence.If you've spent years managing everyone's needs, shrinking your own, and building an identity around your capacity to give without limit, this epi

Trusting What You Know is True When Others Gaslight You - High Functioning Women Series Part Three [376] May 12, 2026 2032 This is Part Three of our series on high-functioning Christian women in destructive marriages. You are the woman people call when something complicated needs solving. You read rooms, spot patterns, and get it right. And yet in this one area of your life, you have been told that your judgment, specifically, cannot be trusted.Key Takeaways:Why the very perceptiveness that makes you exceptio

Why Your Empathy is a Superpower (and a TARGET!) - High Functioning Women Series Part Two [375] Apr 28, 2026 1753 This is Part Two of my series on high-functioning Christian women in destructive marriages. In Part One, we explored how the very qualities that make these women extraordinary are the same ones that make them exceptionally vulnerable. Today we're going deeper into one of the most specific and targeted of those qualities: empathy.If you've ever felt like your compassion is working against

The Loneliness of the "Perfect" High Functioning Woman - High Functioning Women Series Part One [374] Apr 7, 2026 1401 So many capable, gifted Christian women are living a double life that is impressive in public, but diminished in private, and they don't even have words for what's happening to them. This episode will change that.🔑 Key Takeaways:There's a specific kind of loneliness that has nothing to do with being sad, and it's far more common among high-functioning Christian womenThe reason you can run

From Deconstructing to Reconstructing: Finding Wonder Again [373] Mar 31, 2026 3777 This is one of my favorite interviews! Today I’m talking with my friend, Dr. Tiffany Yecke Brooks, author of Gaslighted by God, Holy Ghosted, and her brand-new book, To Rebehold the Stars: Reimagining Faith After Deconstruction.If you've walked through the painful process of deconstructing the toxic theology you inherited, this conversation is going to knock your socks off. Drawing from D

Why Do Your Friends Believe the Person Who Abused You? [372] Mar 24, 2026 1318 What happens when seeing your ex derails all your progress? And why do your friends think he's such a great guy when you know the truth?🔑 Key Takeaways:Why seeing your ex after months can feel like all your progress disappeared (it didn't)What trauma bonding actually does to your memory of the relationshipWhy emotionally abusive people seem so great to everyone elseThe false equivalency t

Navigating Discard, Revenge, and Unsupportive Friends [371] Mar 17, 2026 1395 In this episode we tackle three questions: What happens when the abuser is the one who leaves? How do you live with the fear of post-separation or post-divorce revenge? And what do you do when your friends just don't get it?🔑 Key Takeaways:Why some abusers discard their victims (and what it reveals about your progress)The difference between fear you should listen to and fear that steals y

How My Word for 2026 is Playing Out So Far (personal message) [370] Mar 10, 2026 1170 This isn't my typical podcast episode. Today I get personal, sharing why I’ve decided to pursue graduate studies in theology after experiencing profound spiritual abuse throughout my entire life. If you've read All the Scary Little Gods, you know my story, and you might be wondering why I’d ever step back into that world.I invite you into my journey of healing, my commitment to simplicity

If It’s Not "Narcissism," What Is It? (The Answer) - The Narcissism Trap Series Part Four [369] Mar 3, 2026 929 In Episode 369 of the Flying Free Podcast, you’ll learn a term that's more accurate than "narcissistic abuse,” and it's actually being recognized in courts of law. This is part four of The Narcissism Trap Series, and it shifts everything from trying to diagnose your partner to recognizing what's really happening to you.If you've been stuck wondering whether he meets the clinical criteria

Why Your Lawyer Cringes When You Say “Narcissist” - The Narcissism Trap Series Part Three [368] Feb 24, 2026 1335 In this third episode of The Narcissism Trap series, we shift from personal validation to legal strategy, exploring why the very word that brought you clarity could be the thing that sinks your court case. We’ll look at how judges actually view labels like "narcissist" and why focusing on clinical diagnoses can unintentionally dilute accountability and hand a "gift" to your ex’s legal tea

Narcissist? Or Just Plain Evil? (Know the Difference!) - The Narcissism Trap Series Part Two [367] Feb 17, 2026 1900 In this second episode of The Narcissism Trap series, we open up the DSM-5 and walk through the actual clinical criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder but with a crucial twist.🎯 Key Takeaways:The diagnosis you're hunting for might be the least of your problems. Even if your partner doesn't meet all nine DSM-5 criteria for NPD, you can still be experiencing serious harm in your rel

Stop Calling Him a “Narcissist” (Use This Word Instead) - The Narcissism Trap Series Part One [366] Feb 10, 2026 990 In this kickoff to a powerful new series, The Narcissism Trap, Natalie Hoffman challenges a popular narrative in abuse recovery: labeling an emotionally abusive partner as a “narcissist.” While that term may feel validating at first, Natalie explains how it can actually work against your healing by keeping you locked in the wrong story. If you've been Googling “narcissist” at 2 a.m. to ma

She Stopped Asking for Permission: Jillian's Story [365] Feb 3, 2026 3280 What happens when you stop asking for permission in an abusive marriage?Today, Jillian shares her story of waking up to covert abuse in her Christian marriage and what it took to finally get out.You'll hear how she recognized the patterns, why she chose to leave despite having a young son, and what life looks like now on the other side. If you've been wondering whether things could actual

Can AI Help Christian Women in Emotionally Abusive Marriages? [364] Jan 27, 2026 3390 What if an AI could help you organize your abuse evidence, understand your trauma, and save you thousands in legal fees?Aimee Says isn't just another AI tool—it's a specialized digital health platform that understands power and control dynamics, helps you document patterns of abuse, organizes your evidence for court, and keeps your data completely private and encrypted. Whether you're try

Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Abuse in a Christian Home - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 8 [363] Jan 20, 2026 2402 How do you actually break free from emotional and spiritual abuse in your Christian home?Most Christian women stay stuck because nobody tells them the truth: breaking free requires three specific stages. In this episode, you'll find out why you keep falling for the "honeymoon phase" trap, what you need to do first before anything else, and why writing everything down literally saves your

How Children are Impacted by Emotional Abuse - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 7 [362] Jan 13, 2026 2604 If you've been told that staying married "for the kids" is the most loving choice you can make, this episode will challenge everything you thought you knew about protecting your children.The truth is, emotional and spiritual abuse doesn't just harm you, it rewires your children's brains, damages their attachment systems, and poisons their relationship with God. Research shows that staying

The Christian Abuser's Favorite Emotional Abuse Weapon (And How to Neutralize It!) - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 6 [361] Jan 6, 2026 1437 What is the weapon Christian abusers most commonly use?In this sixth installment of the Emotional Abuse 101 series, Natalie Hoffman talks about a subtle weapon many Christian men wield in emotionally abusive relationships: criticism. But not the obvious, name-calling type. This is the more insidious, underhanded kind that’s drenched in misogyny and spiritual distortion.If you've ever wond

How Emotional Abuse in Your Christian Marriage Impacts Your Spiritual Health - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 5 [360] Dec 30, 2025 2039 Emotional abuse in a Christian marriage doesn't just damage your mental health. It corrodes your spiritual foundation until you can't tell the difference between God's voice and your abuser's voice anymore.🔑 Key Takeaways:Emotional abuse doesn’t just affect your mind and body. It wounds your soul.Natalie draws a powerful connection between emotional abuse and spiritual damage, especially

Why You Keep Second-Guessing Yourself in Your Christian Marriage (And How to Stop) Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 4 [359] Dec 23, 2025 2238 What happens when you're the only one trying in your marriage? When your partner seems indifferent, and you're the one praying, planning, reading, learning, bending, sacrificing only to be met with silence or worse, resistance?In this episode, Natalie peels back the layers of emotional and spiritual exhaustion that come from being the only emotionally invested person in a relationship. Wi

Emotional Abuse vs. Healthy Conflict in a Christian Marriage: How to Tell the Difference - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 3 [358] Dec 16, 2025 2601 In this episode, I walk you through five crucial differences between a healthy Christian marriage and an emotionally abusive one.🔑 Key Takeaways:Healthy marriages = clarity, respect, and growthAbusive marriages = confusion, control, and punishmentIf you're constantly walking on eggshells, it's not normal. God never asked you to sacrifice your soul on the altar of someone else's entitlemen

BONUS: An episode from my PRIVATE podcast about what it takes to change your life Dec 14, 2025 1672 In this end-of-the-year BONUS episode, I want to share one of my recent PRIVATE podcast episodes exclusively for members of the Flying Free Kaleidoscope only. I also made an 8-minute video tour of the Flying Free Kaleidoscope on my phone. It will show you what the INSIDE of the Kaleidoscope looks like here at the end of 2025 and going into 2026. You can watch that on YouTube HERE. The pr

The Art of Saying No: Setting Boundaries When You've Been Trained to Say Yes - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 2 [357] Dec 9, 2025 2205 Have you ever been told that saying "no" makes you selfish? That good Christian women never rock the boat, always serve with a smile, and definitely do not have thoughts of their own?This episode is Part 2 of our Emotional Abuse 101 series, and today we’re diving into the art of saying no.If the idea of saying no makes your stomach flip or sends you into a guilt spiral, this episode is yo

The 10 Most Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse in a Christian Marriage - Emotional Abuse 101 | Part 1 [356] Dec 2, 2025 1726 Welcome to part one of a brand-new series I’m calling “Emotional Abuse 101: Everything You Need to Know,” because, let’s face it, the church didn’t exactly hand out “How to Spot a Narcissist in Your Youth Group” pamphlets in Sunday school.In this episode, I’m diving into the 10 most subtle signs of emotional abuse, the kind of signs that don’t leave bruises on your body but do leave bruis

Do You Need Someone to Rescue You? [355] Nov 25, 2025 1224 In this episode, I get down and dirty with a topic that triggers all the rule-followers and religious gatekeepers: salvation. Not the flannelgraph-Jesus kind where you prayed the “magic words” at age seven and then spent the next 30 years terrified you did it wrong. Nope. I’m talking about real, liberating, soul-exploding salvation.This one’s especially for you if you’ve ever stayed in an

Breaking the Cycle of Fear, Obligation, and Guilt: Gwendoline’s Story [354] Nov 18, 2025 2702 Ever wonder why you keep getting stuck in the same soul-sucking relational merry-go-round and can’t get off? Why you feel like you're starring in a never-ending soap opera you didn’t audition for, but somehow you’re the villain for wanting out?I sat down with Gwendoline, a longtime member of Flying Free and Flying Higher, to talk about her epic butterfly transformation. We're talking cycl

Why Some People Change and Others Don't [353] Nov 11, 2025 1824 It’s time to talk about the two kinds of people in this world: the seekers and the stuck.In this episode, I dive deep into the real reasons why some lives transform after abuse while others continue to feel stuck.We’re unpacking:Why healing is not about labeling your abuser a narcissist and calling it a day How to know when you’re ready to move from survivor to thriver.What your philosoph

The Subtle, Insidious Nature of Spiritual Abuse [352] Nov 4, 2025 3560 What if the very place you went for safety, love, and divine wisdom turned out to be the scene of the crime? Today we’re diving headfirst into the world of spiritual abuse. This week, I’m joined by Katherine Spearing, founder of Tears of Eden, trauma recovery practitioner, and author of a new book, A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts. If you’ve ever been told that “God doesn’t want your happiness,

Responding to Abusive Word Salad (the master game player strategy) [351] Oct 28, 2025 1636 Has your inbox turned into a dumpster fire of accusatory texts from your abuser?In this episode, I hand you a step-by-step strategy to shut down the inner emotional chaos without getting dragged into the mud pit with him. It's not just about survival. It's about winning (for YOU!)What We Cover in This Episode: What to do when your abuser won’t stop texting lies, and the courts won’t let y

Understanding Coercive Control and the Harms Inflicted on to Adult and Child Victims [350] Oct 21, 2025 4034 “He doesn’t hit you, so it must not be abuse.” Yeah, no. That tired old line needs to die.This week, I sat down with Dr. Christine Cocchiola, a powerhouse expert on coercive control, the kind of abuse that doesn’t leave bruises but instead, destroys lives. Christine breaks down how abusers don't need fists to dominate; they weaponize EVERYTHING from the court system, to churches, to your

Toxic Beliefs That Keep Christian Women From Their True Identity (A Story about a Runner) [349] Oct 14, 2025 895 Have you ever felt like life has you wearing a 200-pound emotional backpack labeled “Christian womanhood”? In this episode, I unpack (literally) the toxic beliefs that are holding us back using a metaphorical story about a woman who wants to run, but can’t. Because, surprise! She's lugging around spiritual abuse disguised as Bible truths.You’ll meet Sarah, a fictional but oh-so-familiar w

Beautiful Prisons and Golden Lies [348] Oct 7, 2025 683 What if that golden cage you're sitting in was never locked? What if all that “God’s will” rhetoric was just fear cosplaying as holiness? In this episode, I tell you a story, a simple one with birds, bars, and just enough metaphorical mic drops to wake up the part of you that’s been sedated by religious gaslighting. Buckle up, buttercup. It’s time to talk about freedom.This isn’t just ano

Nine Tricks Emotional Abusers Use to Pull Us Back Into the Cycle (and six clever ways to respond!) [347] Sep 30, 2025 3327 In this episode, we're taking a look at the classic emotional abuse push-pull cycle that makes us feel like we’re starring in a soap opera we never auditioned for. This one's for the Christian woman who’s been there, twisting herself into a holy pretzel trying to keep the peace, hold the family together, and love like Jesus while getting emotionally sucker-punched by someone who claims to

Gaslighting and Guilt: Why Christian Women Stay Stuck in Toxic Relationships [346] Sep 23, 2025 2283 If you’ve ever second-guessed your sanity, asked Google “Is my husband a narcissist or just an annoying human?” or thought you might be sinning by not cheerfully submitting to your own emotional obliteration, this episode is your wake-up call... with love.Christian counselor, Kris Reece, is back on the show for part two of our convo about the toxic mind games that keep Christian women stu

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Moms and Spouses Without the Guilt Bound by Blood or Vows [345] Sep 16, 2025 2913 Is it ever okay to walk away from your own mother… or your husband? (Cue the gasps from the peanut gallery clutching their pearls.) If you grew up in church culture, you probably heard that honoring your parents and submitting to your husband meant swallowing abuse with a smile. But guess what? That’s not actually what Jesus had in mind.In this episode, I sit down with Christian counselor

Two Hotel Rooms: One Rescue Mission [344] Sep 9, 2025 857 You know how sometimes life gives you lemons and then instead of sugar for lemonade, the church hands you a moldy marriage book and says, “Submit harder”? That was my reality. In this episode, I take you back to a hotel room where I was nine months pregnant and seriously questioning if I wanted to keep living. Instead, I stumbled my way out of despair and into freedom thanks to a stack of

Out of the Poisoned Pond: Jennie’s Story [343] Sep 2, 2025 2686 What happens when you grow up in hyper-conservative church culture, marry your Bible camp sweetheart at 20, and then spend decades swimming in a poisoned pond of patriarchy, affairs, gaslighting, and spiritual abuse? Jennie’s story is a real look at what it takes to finally climb out of the muck and into fresh water.If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it me? Or is this whole thing just completel

How to Find Peace When Your Marriage Feels Toxic [342] Aug 26, 2025 2185 Do you ever feel like you’re drowning in guilt, shame, and Christian “shoulds” while trying to survive a toxic marriage, a brutal divorce, or the aftermath of both? What if I told you that letting go, accepting reality, and loving yourself isn’t just a cliche, but it can actually change everything?In this episode of Flying Free, I dive into the “Let Go, Accept, and Love” tool (a.k.a. LAL,

Your Marriage Abuse Cycle Exercise [341] Aug 19, 2025 1449 Have you ever felt like you're starring in a rerun of your own life? Same arguments. Same heartbreak. Same fake flowers and empty promises. It’s called the abuse cycle, my friend.In this episode, I dive deep into an exercise that one of our Flying Free members shared in the private forum. She mapped out her relationship’s specific abuse cycle, and what she discovered was pretty important.

He Looked Perfect on Paper: Maile's Story [340] Aug 12, 2025 4386 Ever fallen for someone who looked flawless on paper, but in real life turned out to be your personal nightmare with a Christian smile slapped on top? In today’s episode, I sit down with Maile, a bright spark in our Flying Free community, who thought she’d landed in God’s will when she married her second husband. Instead, she found herself suffocating under spiritual gaslighting, emotiona

Help! I’ve Been Rejected by People I Thought I Could Trust! [339] Aug 5, 2025 2142 Have you ever crawled your way out of an emotionally abusive relationship, finally free, only to be met with cold shoulders, Christian cliques, and confused stares from the very people who should’ve been first in line at your welcome-back party? Or maybe you’ve thought about getting out, but your instincts all tell you that you’ll lose everyone you love in the process?In this episode, I a

Could You Be FRAMED in Family Court? [338] Jul 29, 2025 2417 So you’re getting out of your emotionally and spiritually abusive marriage (congratulations, by the way, you’re a hero), and you think the hard part is over? Honey, buckle up. This episode pulls back the curtain on what actually goes down in family court and why women like you and me need to step into the CEO role of our divorce process.I talk with Amy Polacko, a woman who’s been through

Praying for a Miracle—When the Miracle Might Be You Walking Away [337] Jul 22, 2025 1513 What if the miracle you've been begging God for—the divine intervention, the total transformation of your emotionally bankrupt marriage—is actually you walking out the door?In this episode, I pull back the curtain on my own bathroom-floor prayer sob sessions (complete with cold tile and mascara rivers) and challenge the dangerous theology that says staying in abusive marriages = holy mart

Military Marriage Abuse: Elizabeth's Story [336] Jul 15, 2025 3042 Ever wondered what it’s like to be married to someone who swears allegiance to both their country and their ego? Meet Elizabeth, a brave survivor of emotional, spiritual, and psychological abuse within a military marriage. Spoiler alert: It’s not all flag-waving and family barbecues.Key Takeaways:Abuse in Uniform: Elizabeth shares how military culture and constant relocation masked the es

Why Do I Feel Sorry for My Mean Husband? [335] Jul 8, 2025 1424 Let’s talk about that weird emotional hangover you get after confronting your husband’s bad behavior. You know, the one where he hurts you, but somehow you end up feeling sorry for him? Yep. That old chestnut. In this episode, I get real about the trap so many of us Christian women fall into, the compassion boomerang that keeps us stuck in abusive marriages.I’ve lived this. I breathed thi

Is Complementarianism Damaging the Mental Health of Christian Women? [334] Jul 1, 2025 1902 Have you ever sat in a women’s Bible study, nodding politely while someone says “your husband is your spiritual covering,” and inside you’re thinking, I think I’m dying a little bit every time I say “yes, dear”?In this episode, I get real about complementarianism, the nice-sounding theology that quietly hijacked our self-worth, autonomy, and sanity. I share how I was the poster child for

Legal Separation Vs. Divorce [333] Jun 24, 2025 1510 In this episode, I’m diving into a question I get all the time: Is legal separation the better option for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages? Or is divorce actually the path to healing and wholeness?(Please note: this episode is for Christian women considering a more permanent end to their relationship. If that's not you, give this one a pass for today!)I kno

From Trapped to Free in 30 Days [332] Jun 17, 2025 2519 In this episode, Natalie shares the raw, unfiltered voices of Christian women who took a powerful step toward reclaiming their lives. What begins with deep confusion, spiritual exhaustion, and the belief that “I’m the problem” transforms into clarity, courage, and freedom. This episode is a love letter to every woman who feels stuck in a toxic relationship yet longs for something more.Thr

Escaping the Man Everyone Admired: Lisa's Story [331] Jun 10, 2025 3897 What happens when the man everyone admires is the one silently destroying your soul behind closed doors?In this gripping episode, I sit down with Lisa: a strong, truth-telling woman who walked through 40 years of emotional and spiritual abuse in her marriage. From the trauma of date rape on her first date, to the covert spiritual manipulation in a seemingly “perfect” Christian home, Lisa

Spiritual Abuse, Scapegoating, and the Mask of Virtue [330] Jun 3, 2025 964 In this episode of The Flying Free Podcast, we’re talking about a book that forever changed my understanding of evil—M. Scott Peck's People of the Lie. This isn't about cartoon villains or obvious monsters. I'm talking about the kind of evil that sits in church pews, leads Bible studies, and goes home to emotionally destroy their families while maintaining a pristine public image.Have you

Winning Child Custody & Divorce Battles: Pro Strategies from a Top Attorney [329] May 27, 2025 3747 Strap in, ladies. This episode is basically law school meets your best girlfriend telling you how to survive divorce court with a toxic ex who thinks the law is optional and reality is negotiable. I’m joined by Arizona attorney Wendy Hernandez (aka courtroom gladiator and truth-spewer), who unpacks what you really need to know when facing custody battles, financial warfare, and the endles

How Christian Women Resist Oppression in Their Marriages [328] May 20, 2025 956 So many of you come to me and say things like, "Natalie, I was such a doormat. I just stood there and let it all happen."Listen up, beautiful butterfly: You didn’t “just stand there.” You were resisting the entire time, and no one told you that’s what it was. Until now.In this episode, I shine a flashlight on the small but powerful acts of resistance Christian women pull off daily in emot

The Best Worst Decision: Erin’s Story [327] May 13, 2025 2367 Ever feel like you’re losing your mind but everyone around you says you’re just too sensitive? Welcome to the club you never asked to join. In this episode, I sit down with Erin, a long-time member of the Flying Free Kaleidoscope community, who opens up about her raw and redemptive journey out of emotional and spiritual abuse. From marrying a man who knew his way around a Bible and a mani

Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Abuser—and When That Changes [326] May 6, 2025 742 Hey there, beautiful butterfly! It's Natalie here, and boy do I have an episode for you today that's going to make you feel SEEN in a way that might just take your breath away.Have you ever found yourself at 3 AM, deep in a Google rabbit hole, trying to make sense of your husband's behavior like you're some kind of undercover FBI agent? Well, I'm here to tell you that this obsession isn't

The Truth About Divorce in Christian Marriages: What They Don’t Tell You From the Pulpit [325] Apr 29, 2025 835 Today we’re tackling a topic that's kept too many women trapped in painful marriages: divorce. If you've ever been told "God hates divorce" or made to feel like leaving your abusive husband is somehow worse than what he's doing to you, this episode is specifically for you.We’ll dig into some fascinating research by Dr. Valerie Hobbs on how conservative Christian sermons frame divorce - an

Announcing A New Podcast for Divorced Christian Women! [Flying Higher Moment 020] Apr 26, 2025 291 Coming June 2025: The Divorced Christian Woman Podcast! This is our last Flying Higher moment as we are gearing up to begin production of our new podcast! Find out what we'll be talking about in our first season!(Don't worry, the Flying Free podcast will continue to serve up hope and healing for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive relationships right here every Tuesday

What Does a Safe Church Really Look Like? [324] Apr 22, 2025 1895 On today’s episode, I’m talking with Dr. Andrew Bauman—licensed mental health counselor, author, and founder of the Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health and Trauma. We’re digging into his powerful new book, Safe Church: How to Guard Against Sexism and Abuse in Christian Communities, and whew…this one’s going to name things you’ve felt for years but maybe never had words for.This

Healing Doesn't Just Happen at a Weekend Retreat [Flying Higher Moment 019] Apr 19, 2025 414 In this episode, you’ll hear what it really means to heal from emotional and spiritual trauma—and why that work is more about daily practice than one-time events. From ego detangling to setting boundaries, this episode is packed with perspective shifts and tiny “aha” moments that might just change how you show up in your healing journey.Resources mentioned: How to Do the Work by Dr. Nicol

What about Addiction-Fueled Abuse? [323] Apr 15, 2025 797 Is your husband’s addiction tearing your marriage—and your heart—apart?In today’s powerful episode, I unpack the often-overlooked reality of addiction-fueled abuse. We’ll talk about how addictions—from porn and gambling to drugs and spending—impact the brain, hijack relationships, and leave women spiritually and emotionally devastated.If you’ve ever tried harder, prayed longer, or changed

Finding Hope When You Feel Hopeless [Flying Higher Moment 018] Apr 12, 2025 1041 This week, I'm excited to share something transformative I just learned from the book "Coming Alive" by Barry Michels and Phil Stutz. Have you ever felt so completely demoralized that you couldn't see a way forward? That crushing feeling when you believe nothing will ever get better? I've been there too.In this episode, I'll talk about a powerful tool from this book that can gently pull y

Narcissistic Abuse in Christian Relationships [322] Apr 8, 2025 1157 Ever been told you’re too sensitive? That you just need to forgive more? Or that if you were a better Christian wife, everything would magically get better?Yeah. Me too. And Dr. Ramani Durvasula’s book It’s Not You is here to throw a holy wrench into that narrative.In this week’s episode of the Flying Free Podcast, I’m unpacking the powerful truths in this book and showing you exactly how

The Crushing Cost of Control [Flying Higher Moment 017] Apr 5, 2025 486 What if the thing keeping you stuck… is your death grip on trying to hold it all together?In this short and fiery episode, Natalie calls out the spiritual hustle we’ve been sold—and gently offers a better way. If you’ve been clinging to control, overthinking your faith, or quietly drowning under “good Christian woman” expectations, this one’s for you.You don’t need to strive harder.You ne

Can I Gaslight Myself? Part Two [321] Apr 1, 2025 2234 Welcome back, butterflies! In this episode, I’m joined once again by my friend and fellow coach, Diana Swillinger. We’re diving into the second part of an important topic today: Can we gaslight ourselves?Gaslighting is usually something done to us—manipulation that makes us question our reality. But what happens when we internalize it? When we start running the script on autopilot and dou

Fear: The Frenemy in Your Head [Flying Higher Moment 016] Mar 29, 2025 745 Fear. It creeps in when you’re trying to sleep, whispers worst-case scenarios while you’re washing dishes, and makes you second-guess yourself every time you try to take a brave step forward.But here’s the truth: not all fear is bad. In fact, some of it is a God-given superpower... and some of it? More like an overactive smoke alarm when you've just made toast. In this Flying Higher momen

Am I Gaslighting Myself? Part One [320] Mar 25, 2025 2211 In today’s episode, I am joined by life coach and fellow survivor advocate Diana Swillinger to explore a fascinating and often misunderstood topic: Can you gaslight yourself? We dive deep into what gaslighting is, how it manifests in relationships, and whether people unconsciously manipulate their own thoughts and emotions as a survival mechanism. This candid discussion sheds light on sel

How Radical Acceptance Changes Everything [Flying Higher Moment 015] Mar 22, 2025 467

Help! My Kids Are Acting Like Their Dad! [319] Mar 18, 2025 1854 In this episode we’ll talk about a struggle that many Christian women face after leaving an emotionally abusive marriage—parenting children who sometimes exhibit the same unhealthy behaviors as their fathers.Through real-life examples and compassionate insights, I explore why this happens, how mothers can reframe their perspectives, and practical steps they can take to strengthen their re

Feeling Triggered? [Flying Higher Moment 014] Mar 15, 2025 556 Let’s talk about triggers. You know, those moments when someone says the “wrong” thing, and suddenly you’re ready to flip a table? Most of us see triggers as a bad thing—proof that we’re too sensitive, too emotional, or just plain too much. But what if I told you that your triggers are actually pointing you toward healing?In this week’s podcast episode, we’re unpacking: ✔️ What triggers a

What Do We Do About Wicked People? [318] Mar 11, 2025 1966 In today’s episode, I explore the difficult and often shocking realization that wickedness exists in the world—and sometimes within our closest relationships. Responding to a listener's inquiry and using insights from Adam Young’s “The Place We Find Ourselves” podcast, we’ll unpack the biblical definition of wickedness and discuss how it operates. I’ll also share personal experiences and

How Creativity Can Help You Heal from Emotional and Spiritual Abuse [Flying Higher Moment 013] Mar 8, 2025 345 What if I told you that creativity isn’t about painting or poetry—it’s about how you live? How you take the broken pieces of your story and shape them into something new, something beautiful, something yours.For too long, you were told who to be, what to believe, and how small to make yourself. But here’s the truth: You were created to be a powerful co-creator in your own life. And in thi

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