The Boundaries.me Podcast
Dr. Henry Cloud's Boundaries.me podcast features inspiring stories about the benefits to your relationships, mental health, productivity and wellbeing that come when you implement healthy boundaries.
Episodes
Episode 428 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Keys to Emotional Regulation
Dr. Cloud explores emotional regulation and the skill of "right-sizing" your responses to life events - learning when you're overreacting to minor problems or minimizing serious issues. He answers a written question about dealing with a narcissistic sister who escalates and spreads lies when ignored, then takes calls from a single father rebuilding after leaving ministry and facing unemployment, a
Episode 427 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Managing Attention in a Distracted World
Dr. Henry Cloud explores the critical role of attention in achieving life goals. He breaks down how executive functions of the brain—including attending to what's relevant, inhibiting distractions, and maintaining working memory—affect our ability to accomplish tasks ranging from daily errands to relationship repair. Dr. Cloud discusses how modern technology constantly competes for our limited att
Episode 426 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Breaking Free from Snap Judgments
In this episode of the show, Dr. Henry Cloud discusses the importance of developing a curious mindset rather than a critical one. He explains how snap judgments and rigid thinking limit our options and relationships, while seeking to understand others creates better connections. The episode includes a write-in question about anxiety that arises when experiencing happiness, with Dr. Cloud explainin
Episode 425 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Transforming Anxiety with Key Questions
In this episode, Dr. Henry Cloud presents a systematic approach to identifying anxiety sources through targeted self-reflection questions originally developed for a CEO client. Dr. Cloud's detailed framework of questions is designed to help listeners pinpoint specific triggers of anxiety, including external stressors, relationship dynamics, internal pressures, and unresolved trauma. Dr. Cloud also
Episode 424 - The Dr. Cloud Show - The Two Engines of a Balanced Life
In this episode, Dr. Henry Cloud explores the concept of balance in life, focusing on the relationship between our relational and performance sides. He explains how integrity means being whole and integrated in both areas, using the metaphor of a boat's wake to help listeners evaluate their life patterns. Throughout the episode, Dr. Cloud provides practical ways to assess life balance, shares stra
Episode 423 - The Dr. Cloud Show- Smart Parenting and Time Management Strategies
In this episode of the Dr. Cloud Show, Dr. Henry Cloud examines harmful parenting language patterns that may go unnoticed. He explains why phrases like "you need to" undermine children's autonomy and offers practical alternatives that help children develop their own sense of responsibility. Dr. Cloud also discusses the concept of "chunking" as a time management strategy - combining multiple activi
Episode 422 - The Dr. Cloud Show - The Adult Test
In a deeply personal episode, Dr. Henry Cloud reads a letter he wrote to his daughter when she turned twelve, revealing key markers of growing maturity that apply to adults of all ages. Through his letter, Dr. Cloud explores how becoming an adult involves learning to be your own source, guardian, and manager—vital skills many still struggle with decades later. Later, listeners call in with questio
Episode 421 - The Dr. Cloud Show - The Resilience Mindset: Embracing Reality to Grow Stronger
In this episode Dr. Henry Cloud explores the mindset shift needed to navigate life's inevitable challenges. Beginning with the biblical principle that "in this world you have tribulation," Dr. Cloud examines how accepting reality—rather than fighting against it—makes us more resilient when facing difficulties. The show also includes conversations with callers facing significant life transitions. V
Episode 420 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Silencing Your Inner Critic
In this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show, Dr. Henry Cloud explores the powerful impact of negative thought patterns and how they affect our mental health. Drawing from clinical experience, he addresses how automatic negative thoughts can function like "someone walking behind you banging you on the head with a stick" - a metaphor that captures how self-criticism operates in our minds. This episode fea
Episode 419 - The Dr. Cloud Show - The Dopamine War: How Social Media Platforms Target Your Brain
Dr. Henry Cloud examines how social media platforms and advertisers deliberately target the brain's reward system. The episode explores how these entities track preferences and serve content designed to trigger dopamine releases, potentially narrowing users' experiences and creating unhealthy patterns. The discussion covers the neurochemistry of pleasure, explaining how the same brain mechanisms a
Episode 418 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Compassionate Candor: Speaking Truth Without Hurting Relationships
In this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show, psychologist Henry Cloud explores the delicate balance of addressing relationship problems while preserving emotional connection. He examines how to separate behaviors from personal worth, and ways to provide feedback without damaging self-esteem or injecting contempt into important relationships. Dr. Cloud walks through practical applications with callers fa
Episode 417 - The Dr. Cloud Show - When Progress Isn't Visible - The Truth About Lasting Change
In this episode, Dr. Cloud examines the concept of incremental progress—explaining why personal growth happens little by little rather than all at once. The discussion covers how consistent small steps contribute to progress when dealing with depression, anxiety, relationship challenges, and health concerns. Dr. Cloud speaks with callers about establishing family boundaries after trauma, addressin
Episode 416 - The Dr. Cloud Show - The Architecture of Resilience
In this first episode of the new year, Dr. Cloud explores the architecture of personal resilience, using the metaphor of building a house to explain how people can strengthen their ability to cope with life's challenges. The episode opens with a thoughtful discussion about the devastating fires in Los Angeles, transitioning into an exploration of how people can build emotional resilience. Dr. Clou
Episode 415 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Change Your Unhealthy Thinking Patterns
Much of your thinking is automatic, and that can be a great thing. No one needs to analyze every stroke of the toothbrush, so to speak. The problem, Dr. Henry Cloud contends, is when we default to thinking patterns that don't work for situations that require us to be more considered and deliberate with our minds. One of the issues is that automatic thinking can lead to deeply ingrained patterns of
Episode 414 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Reimagining Time Management
Dr. Cloud discusses the concept of time management from a different perspective. He argues that rather than managing time itself, which is finite and unchangeable, the focus should be on how we manage ourselves within that time. Dr. Cloud identifies common reasons people may not use their time effectively, such as feeling emotionally isolated, having poor boundaries in saying no to requests, and e
Episode 413 - The Dr. Cloud Show - The Art of Constructive Criticism
On this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show: Dr. Cloud explores criticism and its role in personal growth and relationships. He argues that when done with the right approach, criticism can be an act of love that facilitates positive change. Dr. Cloud provides tips on giving and receiving criticism effectively. He emphasizes specificity over global statements, using "I" statements, setting a positive t
Episode 412 - The Dr. Cloud Show - From Distress to Resilience: Dr. Cloud's 10 Tips for Hard Times
Dr. Cloud presents 10 tips to help individuals navigate through difficult times in a practical and actionable manner. He emphasizes the importance of seeking professional help when needed, but also offers self-care strategies to alleviate temporary distress. Key points include combating isolation, focusing on what's within one's control, setting boundaries, processing grief, challenging catastroph
Episode 411 - The Dr. Cloud Show - The Upside of Struggle
Dr. Cloud explores the idea that achieving anything of value in life requires doing things we don't want to do. He draws from personal experiences, such as pulling an all-nighter to meet a book deadline, and uses relatable examples like losing weight or building a successful marriage. Dr. Cloud emphasizes that embracing this mindset – that discomfort and effort are necessary for growth – is crucia
Episode 410 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Mastering the Effective Apology
Ever feel like apologizing isn't working? In this thought-provoking talk, Dr. Cloud delves into the art of offering a sincere and effective apology. He emphasizes that a genuine apology is a powerful tool for repairing and strengthening relationships. Dr. Cloud breaks down the essential components of a good apology, including expressing empathy, taking ownership without making excuses, acknowledgi
Episode 409 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Rekindling the Marital Flame
Dr. Cloud provides guidance for couples struggling to reignite their romantic spark. Drawing from biblical wisdom and psychological expertise, he explores the natural seasons of marriage and offers strategies to reignite passion. He encourages couples to reflect on how they prioritized careers over their relationship, examine psychological factors behind this shift, and revisit activities that fos
Episode 408 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Managing Anxiety with Response Inhibition
Dr. Henry Cloud takes a deep dive into the world of anxiety, honing in on a crucial aspect: learning to navigate internal anxieties without giving in to typical responses. From unraveling the physical effects of anxiety to unraveling the mind's interpretations, Dr. Cloud sheds light on the power of response inhibition in managing anxieties. With relatable stories and practical insights, this video
Episode 407 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Skills for Handling Gaslighting
Just knowing what gaslighting is can be a big first step to breaking free from it . The problem is that withstanding gaslighting is another matter. Dr. Henry Cloud discusses the concept of gaslighting, a psychological technique used to manipulate and control others by making them question their own reality. He delves into how gaslighters undermine individuals' subjective experience of reality to g
Episode 406 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Becoming a Free and Separate Person
You may think you are a separate and free person when you look in the mirror. You're not physically attached to someone else. As a person connected to others through relationships however you might not be the free and separate person you see in the mirror. Dr. Henry Cloud talks about how so many of us are not free and separate people within our relationships. You might not be in charge of making d
Episode 405 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Ways to Fix Your Attachment Problems
Much of how we bond and attach to others is formed in early childhood. Dr. Henry Cloud shows you how to look at your attachment style and find ways to get to a secure attachment. The attachments you have early on, whether healthy, inconsistent, or toxic, will have a huge affect on you. How do you experience your need for others? This is a critical aspect to how you attach. When your relationship w
Episode 404 - The Dr. Cloud Show - The Problem with Personality Tests
By and large, personality type tests are very helpful as an initial assessment tool. But Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to get a better understanding of what they are actually useful for and where they fall short. One of the great things about them is that they allow us to see that a person's behavior might not be coming from some malicious place, but from a propensity based on their personality. That'
Episode 403 - The Dr. Cloud Show - You Need to Change Your Definition of Responsibility
What thoughts come to mind when you think of responsibility? Is it burdensome, negative, or toxic? If you think that you're not alone. The word often gets twisted during our upbringing because it's brought down on you, it's used in a repressive and toxic way. Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to think differently about responsibility. Outside pressure and duty are often associated with responsibilities, a
Episode 402 - The Dr. Cloud Show - The Two Keys to Accomplishing Anything
You may have heard from this show that motivation is not correlated with goal achievement–in fact it can be inversely correlated with it. What then are the factors that have the biggest impact on accomplishing goals? Dr. Henry Cloud shows us that what matters most is first the belief that your goal can be achieved. The second factor is prioritization. In this short talk, Dr. Cloud will help you ge
Episode 401 - The Dr. Cloud Show - One Simple Way to Increase Resilience
"Resilience" is a word that is thrown around a lot these days, and for good reason. We could all use a little more of it. But what is resilience, and how does one become more resilient? Dr. Henry Cloud breaks down the subject like this: There are negative events in your life from a small problem to something potentially catastrophic. Those are the external things that happen. Resilience lies withi
Episode 400 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Motivation Might Be Holding You Back
Wanting to do something and actually doing it are two very different things. Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to stop thinking of motivation as the key to success. While of course motivation is an important part of getting started, it can also cause problems. Hope deferred makes the heart sick, as the Bible says, and motivations that don't lead to actions can cause their own set of problems along these s
Episode 399 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Dealing with Different Types of Narcissists
Narcissism has become such a commonplace word that not only has it lost its specificity, but in doing so it has become difficult to identify the types of narcissistic behavior you might be dealing with. Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to learn what type of narcissistic patterns a person may have. Some narcissists can change for the better, and others can't. Dr. Cloud describes the different underlying c
Episode 398 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Symptoms vs Root Causes
When you're struggling, you're usually going to have a symptom: you might be anxious, depressed, afraid, overreacting. You might be getting stuck accomplishing something. Whatever your symptoms might be, Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to see the key differences between symptoms and root causes. Learning more about your symptoms can help you see where your root causes are, but continuing to treat the sy
Episode 397 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Fake It Till You Make It
While of course being your authentic self is always a good idea, "faking it" can be an incredible tool. Dr. Henry Cloud talks about the psychological power that comes from faking it till you make it. Whenever a new task is put in front of you that you don't know exactly how to do, this technique can be used to give you the confidence you'll need to learn. When we are put in a position where we don
Episode 396 - The Dr. Cloud Show - How Criticism Can Help You
What's the first thing you think of when you hear the word "criticism?" How you handle criticism is not just a measure of your patience, it's also a huge growth opportunity. Dr. Henry Cloud explains how changing the frame through which you look at criticism can greatly improve your relationships and your performance. How you feel about criticism can also tell you a lot about your character. Gettin
Episode 395 - The Dr. Cloud Show - What's Your Conflict Type?
How do you work on conflicts in a relationship? Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to think about which way you lean when something comes up that's either uncomfortable, argumentative or otherwise conflictual in your relationships. Understanding that there are basically three types of behavior that you might engage in, one of them being more prevalent in your life. The three types are moving toward, moving
Episode 394 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Initial Choice Doesn't Equal Change
One thing most of us do with the word "choice" is that we equate it with the power to make something happen. Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to rethink what choice is actually capable of bringing to your life. Choice is great, it's important, but it's not a methodology. That's to say that willpower and choice are not a method of change alone. Your initial choice can set your direction, and that's a huge
Episode 393 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Are You a Child or an Adult?
Unlike in the distant past, we don't really have a rite of passage to adulthood. Dr. Henry Cloud talks about how regardless of how many degrees you have, or how old you are, being an adult is not a guarantee on age or merit alone. So what is adulthood, and how do we get to it? You've probably met people that have made it far into their lives and still aren't an adult yet. Dr. Cloud talks about wha
Episode 392 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Using Regret to Change Your Life
Regrets are inevitable in this life and can bring us great sadness. Dr. Henry Cloud wants you to think differently about how you look at your regrets. When we talk about regret we're talking about loss and the emotional pain that comes with that. What can really be helpful is letting regret show us what we don't want to lose. The trouble is that guilt will accompany the regret and that can prevent
Episode 391 - The Dr. Cloud Show - The Two Driving Factors of Life
Our life is driven by two key drives and they are often at odds with each other. Dr. Henry Cloud talks about how these two drives can be worked together. Drive number one is our need to connect and feel connected. The second drive is our aggression. When when we can merge these drives together it's called drive neutralization and it will greatly improve your relationships and your performance. Wri
Episode 390 - The Dr. Cloud Show - What People Who Love Each Other Do
Loving someone and treating them with love are two different things. Dr. Henry Cloud reminds us of what we can do to be more proactive in our loving relationships. Written question: Do physical activities help people heal from trauma? Kerri is housing kids from a youth group and wants advice on how to help a traumatized 17 year old open up. Sarah feels like a crappy person and doesn't know why. Wh
Episode 389 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Choose Personal Responsibility
Changing your life is always a difficult task, but it's nearly impossible without accepting personal responsibility. Dr. Henry Cloud gets into what you should and shouldn't take responsibility for and how this awareness can transform your life and the options you have. Written question: Lately I feel like my attention and ability to focus is being stolen away from me. There are so many distraction
Episode 388 - The Dr. Cloud Show - How to Remain Positive
How do you stay positive when all of life is coming at you like work, kids, social issues, health problems etc? Dr. Henry Cloud discusses a key element that the mature possess and immature lack: being able to hold the good and bad together at the same time. Written question: Can you offer any advice or strategies to help me find my bearings and start moving forward with purpose and clarity? Connor
Episode 387 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Loneliness in Relationships
One of the worst feelings you can have in a relationship is loneliness despite being in the presence of another person. Dr. Henry Cloud works through how this all too common problem can be resolved. He uses the example of "I, Thou" where both people in the relationship are showing up with attunement. Written question: Is it better to have a counselor that didn't know you previously so as not to h
Episode 386 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Personal Growth Depends on This
What you are capable of, what you are not capable of, and which one is true are all derived from how you perceive yourself within the context of the world and peoplearound you. Dr. Henry Cloud shares ways to expand how you look at yourself, what you're capable of, and your relationships with what is outside you. Adrienne needs help dealing with a short tempered father. Lizzie doesn't know whether
Episode 385 - The Dr. Cloud Show - How Your Day to Day Life Can Heal You
How is it possible that your day to day life can heal you? Dr. Henry Cloud explains how specific but small changes in your day to day life can lead to big changes. Lauren asks Dr. Cloud how to grieve a friendship that's over. Erika is having trouble healing from financial trauma that's causing poor spending behaviors. Mandy was neglected by her mother and is still having trouble finding safe and m
Episode 384 - The Dr. Cloud Show - The Past is the Best Predictor of the Future
The past is the best predictor of the future. Dr. Henry Cloud explains how patterns can be utilized to change your future. By looking at the past honestly we can begin altering our present actions. Mary needs help addressing her in-laws' toxic behavior. Andrea wants to know when it's the right to time to get exclusive in dating relationships. Dan has started a successful business and is getting re
Episode 383 - The Dr. Cloud Show - The Power of Empathy
Dr. Henry Cloud talks about why empathy is central to having deeper relationships than you have right now. The power of empathy is that it circles back to us. Dr. Cloud explains how as we listen to others and understand their feelings we will begin emotionally regulating ourselves. John is dating someone long distance and wants to know if there's a "right" way to do it. Sally had an affair a while
Episode 382 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Recovering from Break-up Pain
Dr. Cloud explains how relationship pain can linger in our lives even when the relationship is over for the right reasons. He lays out ways to start reconnecting with others and working on healthier attachments. Joie's 21 year old son is getting married this weekend and she hasn't met his fiancé yet. Cheryl's 22 year old son went through a bad break up and is literally losing his hair. Emily is ha
Episode 381 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Big Obstacles, Small Obstacles
Welcome back to the Dr. Cloud Show! In this episode Dr. Henry Cloud talks about big obstacles and and small obstacles. How do you know which is which, and furthermore what kinds of tactics are you bringing to surmount them? Callers: Lori is having trouble managing a working relationship with an ex-husband she owns a business with. Jeremy has a 13 year old daughter that started dating and doesn't k
Episode 380 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Budgeting Holiday Time and Energy
If you've listened to Dr. Cloud before then you know how much he cares about time and energy. Around the holidays this is especially important. He talks about how to utilize your time and energy so that you're getting the most out of this special time of year. Kieran is trying to spend more time with his girlfriend but her sister is getting in the way. Alexis wants to make peace with her mom witho
Episode 379 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Holiday Blues
The Dr. Cloud Show returns! In this episode Dr. Henry Cloud talks about how to get through the holidays with a smile on your face. He takes a call from Betsy who is looking to help her friends through difficulty in their marriage. Carol needs help setting boundaries around financially helping her adult daughter. And Colleen is having trouble with the spiritual aspects of joining a secular support
Episode 378 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - Becoming Yourself
What is the psychology of becoming yourself? How is your identity formed? This is a deceptively layered question related not only to your past, but to your present and future. There is a concept here that's important to understand: your true self, and your false self are not the same. We all understand who our true selves are, but our false selves are that person we show to the world out of fear,
Episode 377 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - Get Clear About Your Purpose - Difficult Conversations Part 3
In this third final mini session on difficult conversations Dr. Cloud talks about getting clear about the purpose you're bringing to the conversation. What are you trying to do? Are you trying to win, trying to persuade, to convince, to show you are right? Or, are you trying to find a solution? When we come with the goal of finding a solution that works for both sides it becomes motivational. This
Episode 376 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - Preparing for the Conversation - Difficult Conversations Part 2
In this highlight, Dr. Cloud goes into part two of his session on having a difficult conversation. This one is all about preparation. How do you bring your best and keep your fear in check when entering into a difficult conversation? First, you have to have a difficult conversation with yourself. What splinter is stuck in your finger? We have to take that splinter out before we go into the convers
Episode 375 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - Creating a Safe Space - Difficult Conversations Part 1
This is part one of a short series on how to have difficult conversations. In this highlight Dr. Cloud talks about an important skill to build before having a difficult conversation. In this session, he talks about how to create safe space for conversations that could explode. There are a few major issues that arise in difficult conversations: fight, flight or freeze. Dr. Cloud shares ways to make
Episode 374 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - Pushing Past Perceived Limits
In this highlight from the show, Dr. Cloud talks about how we hold ourselves back internally from being who we want to be, or doing what we want with our lives. As children we are kept on short leashes and as we become adults it can be extremely difficult to accept our freedom. No one is holding the leash anymore, but in our heads it's still there. As long as we keep these mental leashes in our mi
Episode 373 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - Love, Limits, and Codependency
In this highlight from the show, Dr. Cloud talks about love and limits. One of the more difficult things about loving others is that we make ourselves vulnerable. Codependency easily arises in relationships when we fear losing love and enable bad behavior to prevent that love from leaving. The question then is whether we're loving them fully when we don't set limits around bad behavior. Dr. Cloud
Episode 372 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - One Guaranteed Way to Ruin Relationships
In celebration of 5 years of Boundaries.Me, we are hosting an open house October 17-31! All of our courses, coaching, and community are available for free during this time, with no credit card and no purchase required. Visit http://www.boundaries.me/openhouse to join us. In this highlight from the show, Dr. Cloud talks about one sure fire way to ruin relationships: Fairness. Why would fairness r
Episode 371 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - The Problem with Avoiding Pain
In this highlight, Dr. Cloud talks about something all of us are guilty of: avoiding pain. The psychologist RD Laing said, "There is a great deal of pain in life and perhaps the only pain that can be avoided is the pain that comes from trying to avoid pain." Avoiding pain is a prescription for more pain. Dr. Cloud shares ways to address pain with less fear, and stop avoiding pain. Dr. Cloud's ne
Episode 370 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - The Power of Your Relationships
You'll constantly hear about two main areas to improve on in your life: the physical and the metaphysical. But that's not the whole story. In fact, it's missing a HUGE part of our lives–the third leg of the stool if you will. In no particular order there are three areas we we need to maintain and improve on in our lives. One is our physical bodies. Next we have our metaphysical side (our thoughts
Episode 369 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - We Need Good Struggles
In this highlight from the show, Dr. Cloud presents us with a seeming paradox of growth: developing new abilities and meeting challenges involves struggle. Trees need wind in order to stay standing–they need the stress of wind to stimulate the growth of deeper roots. It's a parallel that applies to us humans too. Good stress fosters growth. Just like we need resistance to grow muscles, we need met
Episode 368 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - A Deceptively Easy Way to Stop Procrastinating
In this highlight from the show, Dr. Cloud talks about how and why we procrastinate and gives us some deceptively simple ways to address it. It starts with shrinking the task. Because the things we are putting off doing are always overwhelming in some way, the key is in breaking it down to one simple thing you can do. It's not that you lack the ability to do the thing you're avoiding, it's just th
Episode 367 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - What Makes for a Good Accountability Partner?
Starting on a successful path of growth requires having a good accountability partner. So what makes for a good accountability partner? Dr. Cloud goes through a short checklist of what to seek out and what to avoid in our candidates. Dr. Cloud's next workshop is on Healing Parental Wounds. In this 2-hour live streaming webinar Dr. Cloud will help you identify your parental relationship injuries
Episode 366 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - Replacing Critical Voices in Your Head
Dr. Cloud's next workshop is on Healing Parental Wounds. In this 2-hour live streaming webinar Dr. Cloud will help you identify your parental relationship injuries, understand how to face them, and give you the practical tools and advice you need to grow past your suffering. If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to htt
Episode 365 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - Building Self Confidence
We all want to be self confident but it's often elusive. Dr. Cloud takes us through an introduction on how we acquire self confidence. Self confidence comes from trusting yourself and your actions. That's hard to do when we doubt ourselves. Dr. Cloud brings it back to original sin, and the idea that we are able to judge like God does. When we commit to these types of self judgments we are no longe
Episode 364 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - Stop Wasting Your Time and Start Making Better Decisions
In this highlight from The Dr. Cloud Show: When we're trying to get from point A to B in a relationship or with a goal, a critical factor is our time. Literally anything we want to improve on–an addiction, finances, raising children, learning a new skill–requires time and prioritization. How we use our time is obviously important, but it's very easy to miss the reality of what we're doing with it.
Episode 363 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - Don't Get Stuck on One Formula
In this highlight from the podcast, Dr. Cloud discusses the old cliche about how your thinking determines your feelings. Does your thinking change your feelings? Do your feelings change your behavior? Does your behavior change your thinking? In short, yes, to all of these depending on what you need to address. It might not be intuitive. You might be feeling anxious, and you know that changing your
Episode 362 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - External Growth Starts On The Inside
Achieving the ideals in life–feeling good, having great relationships, and accomplishing goals–is something that all of us want. It's funny that so many of us struggle with this right? So often the first crucial step is missing. You have to focus on the inside. Seeking internal growth is required to see the changes we want come into existence. Dr. Cloud asks: What path are you on to work on your i
Episode 361 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - The No-Choice Choice
In this highlight from the Dr. Cloud Show, Henry talks about a key mental state for making big changes. 99% of what you're trying to accomplish in your life has been done, even the really hard stuff. People have lost 100 pounds, they have turned around broken relationships, they've gone from bankruptcy to wealth. These things happen and they can happen for you, but it requires doing things differe
Episode 360 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - When Someone Hijacks a Confrontation
In this highlight from the podcast, Dr. Cloud dives into an all-too common problem during confrontations: Hijacking. We've probably all had this happen at least once. Someone has done something that needs to be addressed and when we confront them they externalize it: it's about someone else, or some other thing that happened. The problem is no longer in the room, and as we all know, you can't fix
Episode 359 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - How to Hate Well
The word "hate" triggers lots of thoughts in most people, but there are good types of hate. It's good to hate depression, poverty, lies, violence and so on. In fact, what we hate can actually define us in positive ways. At the core of this talk, Dr. Cloud points out that while hating is a very natural human emotion, it needs to be done the right way. We have an upcoming workshop called Getting
Episode 358 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - The Big Divide of Love and Limits
There are two parallel tracks that run through just about everything we do: Love and Truth, or put another way–Love and Structure–or yet another Love and Limits. To get the good out of something we need to apply a structure, a method, a limit, but we need to do it lovingly. This applies broadly in life. Not just in how we treat others, but also in how we talk to ourselves. When you fail at somethi
Episode 357 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - Practicing Happiness
What does happiness mean to you? 90% of it comes from things other than circumstances. We don't have a lot of control over the circumstances in our lives, but we do have control over our practices and routines. No matter what circumstances happen to you, winning the lottery, buying something you've always wanted, whatever it is, you'll come back to your set-point of happiness. Happy people put pra
Episode 356 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - The Law of Respect
In this highlight from the podcast, Dr. Cloud comes back to a foundational, but oft overlooked aspect of boundaries. The Law of Respect. When we want people to respect our boundaries we in turn have to respect theirs, and it's not easy. We have to learn to love and respect people's "no's." It's one of the hardest parts about setting boundaries. We have an upcoming workshop on Narcissism on June
Episode 355 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - The Fear Gap
In this highlight Dr. Cloud talks about the gap between where we are now and where we want to be. It's often fear that prevents us from getting where we want to be. Each person's fears are different. How are you afraid, and what does your reaction to fear look like? Dr. Cloud talks about how to find what those fears are in the different parts of your life. Got a narcissist in your life? Not sure
Episode 354 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - How Do You Stop People-Pleasing?
In this highlight from the show, Dr. Cloud addresses why we worry about people not liking us. It's fine to be concerned about what people close to you think, but not everyone. If we can't differentiate between who matters to us and who doesn't, then anyone can affect us. We'll start people-pleasing with everybody. The solution is not a solo-event. While there is some work one can do on their own t
Episode 353 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - Getting a Parent to Seek Therapy
In this highlight from the podcast, Dr. Cloud answers a frequently asked question about getting a parent to seek therapy. For people of faith, belief in the power of prayer can sometimes prevent them from seeking professional therapy. When someone says it's all just psycho-babble, the Bible says otherwise. We need help from others, for grieving, for addiction, for depression, and so much more, and
Episode 352 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - Changing Emotionally Unhealthy Patterns
In this highlight from the podcast, Dr. Cloud answers a written question: How do I get started changing emotionally unhealthy patterns? The first step to breaking an unhealthy pattern is recognizing and owning the need to change it. Following that, we need to become comfortable with it taking some time. Unhealthy patterns are not changed overnight. Healing takes time, and growth takes time. Changi
Episode 351 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - The Myth of Self-Help
In this highlight from the podcast Dr. Cloud dispels the myth of "self-help." All help comes from outside ourselves. We have to get out of our closed circle in order to break through and learn new things. But advice is cheap, and you can get it anywhere. You have to turn to people that have the skills, energy and or intelligence to really help you. Whatever gap you want to close in your life, try
Episode 350 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - A Lack of Follow-Through vs. Over Commitment
In this highlight from the show, Dr. Cloud talks about follow-through. We all commit ourselves to getting things done. Whether that's helping out a friend, or telling our spouse we'll do something, whatever it may be. When we fail to get those things done, we might think it's because we lacked follow-through. But is that it? A lack of follow-through implies that something could have been done but
Episode 349 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - Balancing Togetherness and Separateness
In this highlight from the podcast, Dr. Cloud talks about why relationships require togetherness and separateness. You might have attachment issues, or anxiety issues. You might interpret separateness as abandonment. You might be feeling controlled because you don't have enough personal time. Start by asking yourself if you're spending too much time together, or too much time apart. If you don't h
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