Addiction Makes Three
Addiction Makes Three The Podcast, hosted by Amanda Lockyer, explores the often overlooked impact of addiction on partners and families. It offers support, tools, and strategies for those navigating a loved one's addiction or recovery, drawing from Amanda's personal experience as an Addiction Relationship Coach.
Episodes
105 - I Don't Know What To Do. Finding Clarity When You Love Someone With Addiction
One of the most common things I hear from partners and family members is..."I don't know what to do anymore."If you've ever found yourself wondering:Should I stay or leave?How do I support someone with addiction?What boundaries should I set?Should I tell the kids?How do I know if I'm doing the right thing?...this episode is for you.Living alongside addiction is exhausting. You're often carrying th
104 - From My Notebook | The Signs of Recovery We Almost Always Miss
When someone you love is struggling with addiction, it's natural to focus on the obvious signs. Are they drinking? Using? Going to meetings? Following through with treatment?But what if some of the most meaningful signs of recovery are the ones we almost always miss?In this first From My Notebook episode, I'm sharing a story that has stayed with me long after a coaching session ended. It starts wi
103 - The Things You Can (and Can't) Control
What if your peace didn't have to wait?So many of us quietly tell ourselves:💛 "I'll feel better when they stop drinking."💛 "I'll relax when they get help."💛 "I'll be happy when things settle down."But what if peace doesn't arrive at the end of someone else's recovery journey?In this episode, Amanda shares two powerful voice notes from a listener whose words capture something so many families affec
102 - It’s all you think about. It takes Up Everything in Your Mind
If you've been feeling exhausted lately... but it's not the kind of exhaustion sleep fixes... this episode is for you.When you're living with a partner or loved one struggling with alcohol addiction or substance use, it's not just the drinking that's exhausting.It's the constant worrying.The overthinking.The planning.The scanning.The mental load of trying to keep everything together while wonderin
101 - It Steals Us Away from the Person We Used to Be
What happens when you spend so much time focused on someone else's addiction that you stop recognising yourself?In this episode of Addiction Makes Three, Amanda explores one of the quieter impacts of loving someone struggling with alcohol addiction, substance use, or addictive behaviours: the loss of self that can happen along the way.Through powerful listener voice notes and Amanda's own experien
100 - The Things We Rarely Say Out Loud About Loving Someone with Addiction
What if the hardest part isn't their addiction...What if it's what living alongside addiction has done to you?For this special 100th episode of Addiction Makes Three, Amanda shares real voice notes from listeners around the world about what it's really like loving someone struggling with alcohol addiction, substance use, or addictive behaviours.Together, their voices share...Feeling exhausted from
99 - I Think I've Lost Myself In This. Who Am I Without Their Addiction?
Have you ever stopped and wondered who you would be if addiction wasn't part of your life anymore?Not because you don't love your person.But because addiction has taken up so much space in your life that you've lost touch with yourself.In this episode, we're talking about the quiet loss of identity that can happen when you've spent years focused on someone else's drinking, drug use, recovery, choi
98 - Is This Just My Life Now? How Addiction Slowly Makes Your World Smaller
A client recently said to me, "I finally love my job... but I don't get joy anywhere."And I think that one sentence captures what so many people impacted by addiction experience. Because one of the sneakiest things about survival mode is that it doesn't always look like falling apart.Sometimes it looks like functioning.You still go to work.You still parent.You still pay the bills.You still show u
97 - I Don't Think I Get To Fall Apart
What happens when you've spent years being the strong one?The one who keeps going.The one who remembers everything.The one who holds the family together.The one who keeps functioning no matter what's happening around them.In this episode of Addiction Makes Three, Amanda explores the hidden exhaustion so many people impacted by addiction carry.The kind of exhaustion that doesn't come from a bad wee
96 - I Can't Switch Off: Why I'm Always Waiting For Something To Go Wrong
Do you feel like you're always waiting for the next problem?The next phone call.The next argument.The next relapse.The next thing that throws everything off course.If you love someone struggling with addiction, that constant feeling of being "on" can become so normal that you stop questioning it.You tell yourself you're just stressed.Just tired.Just a bit anxious.But what if the reason you can't r
95 - I Know Something Needs To Change… I Just Don't Know Where To Start
Learn more about Discovery to Recovery hereYou know something needs to change.You know something isn't working.You know you're exhausted.But when you're living with addiction in a relationship, knowing what to do next can feel impossible.Maybe you're constantly thinking about your loved one's drinking, drug use, gambling, or addictive behaviour.Maybe you're walking on eggshells, trying not to make
94 - I’m In Limbo: How Long Do I Wait?
What happens when the person you love recognises they have a problem (or maybe they don't)… and nothing feels steady?What happens when you keep hoping things will improve… but your life slowly becomes consumed by waiting?In this deeply honest episode of Addiction Makes Three, Amanda explores the emotional limbo so many spouses and family members of people struggling with addiction quietly live in:
93 - How Survival Mode Slowly Becomes Your Personality
One of the hardest parts about loving someone struggling with alcohol or addiction?How slowly survival mode starts feeling normal.The hypervigilance.The walking on eggshells.The overthinking.The emotional exhaustion.The inability to fully relax.And over time… you stop recognising yourself.In this episode, Amanda explores the hidden ways addiction impacts partners and families - and how survival mo
92 - Am I Overreacting? The Hidden Damage Addiction Causes
Have you ever asked yourself, "Maybe It’s Me?"One of the hardest parts about loving someone struggling with alcohol or addiction? It’s not always the drinking, the lying, the gambling, or the chaos. It’s what slowly starts happening to you. And loosing your own trust is one of those impacts that is lesser seen and almost never spoken about. But it's impacts are devastating.In this episode, Aman
91 - The Hills I’ll Die On After Loving Someone With Addiction
Today Amanda shares the “hills she’ll die on” after loving someone struggling with alcohol and addiction… and after supporting hundreds of women and men impacted by it too.From waiting for rock bottom… to believing sobriety should magically fix everything… to thinking more information will finally make things feel better…This episode challenges some of the biggest myths people quietly carry in add
90 - I Miss Who I Used To Be: How Survival Mode Slowly Changes You
Sometimes the hardest part about addiction…. is realising how much you have changed too.In this deeply personal episode, Amanda opens up about the grief of losing yourself in survival mode.The anxiety.The hypervigilance.The exhaustion.The version of you that slowly disappeared while trying to hold everything together.Because addiction doesn’t just impact the person struggling.It changes the people
89 - Mother’s Day, Addiction, and the Grief No One Talks About
Mother’s Day can bring up a lot for many of us.And when addiction has touched your life… not all of it feels good.Because Mother’s Day can become this painful mix of hope, disappointment and grief all at the same time.In this deeply personal episode, Amanda opens up about the complicated emotional reality of Mother’s Day when addiction is part of your story.From unmet expectations… to feeling uns
88 - Why Learning More About Addiction Might Be Keeping You Stuck
You’ve learnt a lot about addiction.You understand the patterns.You can see what’s happening.You’ve done the reading, the podcasts, the research.So why does it still feel like nothing is changing?In this episode, we’re talking about a trap that’s easy to fall into - especially when you’re trying to handle this better:👉 learning more… instead of doing differentlyBecause at some point, more knowledg
87 - Why It’s Not Getting Better (Even Though You’re Doing Everything Right)
You’re struggling with a loved one’s addiction and you’re trying really hard to make things better.Reading.Listening.Learning everything you can.Trying to handle this better.Trying to respond better.Trying to make things work.And yet…You still find yourself in the same place.Reacting.Overthinking.Carrying it all.And nothing is actually getting better - in fact it’s getting worse.In this episode, w
86 - I Can’t Keep Doing This: What Happens When You Reach Your Limit
Sometimes it’s not a big moment.Not a crisis.Not the worst day.Not the breaking point you thought it would be.It’s quieter than that.It’s the moment where something inside you says:“I can’t keep doing this like this.”In this episode, we’re talking about that moment.The one where you realise:👉 This isn’t sustainable👉 This isn’t working👉 And something needs to changeEven if you don’t know what that
85 - The Part No One Talks About Series: Sobriety Doesn’t Fix the Relationship
You thought sobriety would change everything. I know I did...That once they stopped drinking… you’d finally feel better.More relaxed.More connected.Less on edge.But what happens when sobriety comes… and your relationship still doesn’t feel right?In this episode of The Part No One Talks About series, we’re talking about something that can feel confronting—but incredibly important to understand:Sob
84 - The Part No One Talks About Series: When Sobriety Isn’t What You Expected
You thought sobriety would change everything.That once they stopped drinking… you’d finally feel better.More relaxed.More connected.Less on edge.But what happens when that moment comes… and you still don’t feel okay?In this episode of The Part No One Talks About series, we’re talking about something that can feel incredibly confusing:When sobriety isn’t the relief you expected.Because while things
83 - The Part No One Talks About Series: You Look Fine… But You’re Not
In this episode of The Part No One Talks About series, we’re diving into the invisible impact of loving someone with addiction.Because while addiction can be loud…The impact on you is often silent.This episode is for the ones who:Look like they’re holding it all togetherBut feel like they’re bracing every single dayAnd wonder why they’re so exhausted… even when nothing “looks wrong”What we talk ab
82 - The Part No One Talks About Series: How it impacts your ability to parent
This is the part no one talks about.Not the addiction itself.Not your loved one.But you. The spouse, the one without the addiction.In this episode, we’re diving into the hidden impact addiction has on your parenting. The snapping, the numbness, the overwhelm… and the quiet guilt that follows.Because here’s the truth, It’s not that you’re an impatient parent.It’s that you’re running on empty a
81 - A Personal Update: Grief, Losing My Voice, and Why I’m Here
This episode is a little different.I wanted to sit down and share a personal update, what’s been happening behind the scenes for me, why I went quiet for a while, and what I’ve been navigating over the past few months.Just before Christmas, I received some devastating news. A dear friend of mine, Jack Nagel, passed away suddenly.This episode is me trying to put words to that experience.The grief,
80 - The Part No One Talks About Series: This Isn’t Just Stress. It’s the Impact of Addiction.
You might be telling yourself you’re just stressed.It’s January.It's school holidays.It’s work.It’s parenting.It’s just a busy season.But if you love someone struggling with alcoholism or addiction in your family or relationship, what you’re feeling might not be “just stress.”It might be survival mode.In this episode of "The Part No One Talks About" mini-series, I talk about:• Why you’re constantl
79 - "I Can’t Do Another Year Like This” When You’re Exhausted Living with Addiction
You’re tired. I know you are. Not just “busy” tired.Not just “it’s been a long week” tired.You are life + Addiction tired.You’re exhausted from holding everything together, for everyone, for years.If you’re living alongside addiction, whether your loved one is in active addiction, early sobriety, or years into recovery, and you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, holding your breath and co
78 - Acknowledging the Year You’ve Survived
If you’ve spent the past year holding everything together while your loved one's addiction has chipped away at your energy, your hope, and your sense of self, this episode is for you.In this raw, honest conversation, we look back at the year you’ve survived.Not minimising it.Not pretending it was “fine.”Not brushing it off because “it used to be worse.”This episode gently and truthfully names what
77 - Holiday Series: Why Your Christmas Doesn’t Depend on Their Sobriety
Part 6 of the Holiday SeriesIf you’ve lived through more than one chaotic December, you’ve probably told yourself:“Christmas will only be okay if he’s sober.”“Maybe this year will be different… if he sticks to what he promised.”In this bonus episode of the Holiday Series, I am sharing the part nobody really tells spouses and families of someone struggling with addiction:Your experience of Christma
76 - Holiday Series: What I Wish Someone Told Me Before Every Christmas
Part 5 of the Holiday SeriesThis episode is the deep breath you didn’t know you needed.If you’re heading into December telling yourself, “I’ll be fine… I’ve done this before… I can handle it,” this one is for you.Because the truth is:✨ You have handled too much.✨ Your body is bracing, even if you’re pretending you’re okay.✨ And you absolutely do not have to repeat another year of emotional roulett
75 - Holiday Series: Three Things You Can Control This Season
Part 4 of the Holiday Mini-SeriesWhen your loved one's drinking, substance use, sobriety or recovery feels unpredictable, it can start to feel like everything is out of your hands, the mood, the energy in the house, whether plans go ahead or blow up, whether Christmas feels magical or like a minefield.This episode is for the lovely person who feels like they are bracing 24/7, waiting for the next
74 - Holiday Series: The Hidden Exhaustion of Loving Someone in Addiction
Part 3 of the Holiday Mini-SeriesThis episode dives into something most people will never understand unless they’ve lived it:You aren’t just planning Christmas.You’re planning Christmas around a loved ones addiction.While the rest of the world is thinking menus, Secret Santa, outfits and photos… you’re quietly assessing risk, predicting behaviour, managing expectations, rehearsing backup plan
73 - Holiday Series: The Dread of Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde
A special Holiday Series Episode 2 of 5If you wake up already bracing yourself… wondering which “version” of your loved one you’ll get today, this episode will feel like someone finally naming the thing you’ve been silently living.This is the emotional whiplash of loving someone whose drinking, drug use or behaviour shifts without warning.And during the holidays?It hits even harder.In this episode
72 - Holiday Series: When Everyone Thinks You’re Fine - But You’re Not
Today’s episode kicks off a special 5-part holiday series created for spouses and families whose Christmas looks nothing like the picture-perfect scenes on social media or in the Hallmark Movies.If your loved one’s drinking or addiction makes the season feel unpredictable…If everyone assumes you’re fine…If you’re holding the entire holiday together while silently bracing for chaos…This episode is
71 - The Moment I Completely Lost It
There’s a moment in every addiction-impacted relationship where you realise… it’s not just their drinking/drug use/gambling etc that’s changing the family, it’s changing you too.You don’t plan for it.You don’t see it coming.And when it happens, the shame of it stays in your chest for years.Today I’m sharing a story I’ve never fully talked about publicly, the moment I completely lost it, the moment
70 - When You Don't Like Who You've Become In Their Addiction
Have you ever looked at yourself and thought… “I don’t even recognise who I am anymore?”If so, this episode will feel like someone finally turned the lights on in a dark room you’ve been sitting in for years.When you love someone whose drinking or using creates chaos, unpredictability or emotional instability, it doesn’t just change them.It slowly, quietly, painfully changes you too.And one day yo
69 - If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes: How to Start Turning Your Life Around Now
What if the change you’ve been waiting for has nothing to do with your loved one and everything to do with you?If your partner’s addiction has taken over your life, it’s easy to slip into survival mode: waiting for the next crisis, hoping this time things will magically improve, telling yourself you’ll feel better once they finally change.But here’s the truth: nothing changes if nothing changes.
68 - Why Waiting for Rock Bottom Is Dangerous
You’ve probably heard it a thousand times, “they just need to hit rock bottom.” But what if that’s the very idea keeping you both stuck?When someone you love is struggling with addiction, it’s easy to believe that “rock bottom” is what will finally make them change. We’ve been told it by friends, family, even therapists, that things have to get bad enough before they get better.But here’s the trut
67 - How to Rebuild Trust Without Turning Into a Detective
If your loved one says they’re sober but part of you still isn’t sure, this episode is for you.After living through lies, gaslighting, and constant second-guessing, rebuilding trust can feel impossible. You want to believe them. You want your relationship to work. But you’re also exhausted from checking, doubting, and playing detective.In this episode, Addiction Relationship Coach Amanda Lockyer e
66 - They Say They’re Sober… But You’re Still Not Sure
When your loved one says they’re sober but you still smell alcohol, feel uneasy, or can’t shake that gut feeling, you’re not crazy.In this episode, I unpack what happens after the lies, after rehab, and after the chaos settles.I explain why it’s so hard to feel calm, how broken trust shows up in your body, and why believing yourself is the first step toward healing, not policing your partner.
65 - What No One Warns You About When They Go To Rehab
Everyone says, “They just need to go to rehab.”And maybe they do.But no one talks about what happens to the person left at home once they finally do.In this honest episode, Addiction Relationship Coach Amanda Lockyer shares what really happens on the other side of rehab. The emotional whiplash, the relief mixed with resentment, and why it’s completely normal to feel angry, confused, or even jealo
64 - When You’re Worn Out: Giving Yourself Permission to Stop
When you’re the one holding everything together, the house, the kids, the finances, the emotional whiplash and fallout, it’s no wonder you’re exhausted.Loving someone who struggles with alcohol or drugs can quickly take over your life. You keep going because stopping feels dangerous, like everything might collapse if you let go for a second.In this episode, Amanda shares what “the pause”
63 - How Perimenopause Makes Addiction-Impacted Relationships Even Harder
Navigating perimenopause while living with a spouse struggling with addiction can feel like too much. Because it is, in fact, too much. In this episode, Amanda shares why these two experiences collide, how it impacts your emotions and nervous system, and what real support looks like so you can start feeling calm and in control againIf you’re navigating perimenopause while also living with a partne
62 - Rethinking Recovery and the Myths That Keep Us Stuck with Conrad Tracy
What if the stories we’ve been told about addiction recovery, rock bottom, tough love, they have to want it themselves... are only half the truth?In this episode, Amanda sits down with Conrad Tracey, founder of Addiction Coaching Australia, to unpack the outdated myths that keep people stuck, and reveal what real, sustainable recovery actually looks like.Together they explore the messy middle of c
61 - When You Don’t Know Whether to Stay or Leave
You love them and you’re exhausted.One day there’s hope, the next there’s heartbreak.And the question won’t stop circling your mind: Should I stay, or should I leave?In this episode, Amanda helps you step off the exhausting mental treadmill of “what ifs” and find solid ground again.You’ll learn:Why both staying and leaving are hardThe real question you need to ask insteadHow doing your own inner w
60 - Grieving Someone in Addiction Who is Still Alive
What if you’re grieving someone who’s still alive?In this episode, Amanda explains living grief, the hidden heartbreak of loving someone in addiction. Learn why it feels confusing, how grief shows up in your body, and gentle ways to begin healing without losing yourself.It’s the tension between hope and heartbreak.Between who they were and who they are now.You can love them and still grieve them.Y
59 - The Crazy Things I Did In My Husband's Addiction
You’ve sniffed laundry, counted bottles, checked phones, screenshotted bank statements.Me too.You’re not crazy, you’re trying your best to cope the only way you know how.In this episode, I unveil my long list of whack and unhinged behaviour and unpack why the “detective mode” makes sense and why it’s quietly breaking you, and how to step out of it with compassion.You’ll learn:The gaslighting → dou
58 - The High-Functioning Addiction Myth: When ‘Fine’ Isn’t Actually Fine
They’ve got a good job.They pay the bills.They make people laugh.So how could this be addiction, right?That’s what we tell ourselves. Until being high-functioning for them starts feeling like being high-alert for you.In this raw and honest episode, Amanda pulls back the curtain on one of the most misleading labels in addiction: “high-functioning.”You’ll learn:Why “holding it all together” can act
57 - Why Your Boundaries Aren’t Working (and What to Do About It)
Are you overwhelmed, resentful, or carrying everyone else’s chaos? Those are not personality traits, they’re signs you need new boundaries.In this episode, you’ll learn:4 common signs it’s time to set new or better boundaries.Why resentment is your body’s boundary alarm.How over-functioning and people-pleasing (tendencies) keep you stuck.The heartbreaking cost of neglecting yourself.How boundaries
56 - How to Spot the Early Signs of Addiction (Before It’s Too Late)
Ever found yourself holding your breath when the front door opens?Or Googling at 2am, ‘Is my partner an alcoholic?’ before deleting the search?You’re not crazy, these are the blurry early signs of addiction. And today, we’re naming a few of them.What you’ll learn in this episode:The subtle early signs of addiction you might be overlooking.Why denial (yours and theirs) keeps you stuck.How behaviour
55 - 7 Late-Night Google Searches That Reveal Addiction Red Flags
The middle of the night. The house is quiet. You’re scrolling with the brightness turned down low, Googling questions you never thought you’d type:“Is drinking every night normal?” “Why does he lie about it?” “Am I overreacting?”If that’s you, this episode will feel like an exhale.In this conversation, I dive into:Why those late-night Google searches are already a sign something’s not okayThe subt
54 - What Real Support Looks Like (Without the Shame of ‘Enabling’)
You’re trying to love someone through addiction and you’re exhausted.Because helping someone you love should feel good… right?In this episode, I go deeper on the conversation from Episode 19 and talk about the confusing, messy, emotionally-charged reality of trying to “help” someone impacted by addiction.You’ll hear:How to tell if your “support” is actually costing you your health, peace, or wellb
53 - Are You Gaslighting Yourself? The Quiet Habit Keeping You Stuck
When someone you love struggles with addiction, there’s often a voice in your head that says: “Maybe I’m overreacting.” “Maybe it’s not that bad.” “Maybe I’m the problem.”💥 That, my friend, is self-gaslighting.In this gentle but truth-filled episode, Amanda explores:What gaslighting really is (and what it looks like in your loved one)How gaslighting becomes internalised and turns into your own inn
52 - What If Waiting Is the Most Dangerous Choice?
Are you stuck waiting for your loved one to drink less, admit they have a problem, or finally change?If you’ve been whispering “maybe this is just my lot in life”... this episode is for you.I am getting real about the hidden choices we make every day in addiction-impacted relationships, especially when it feels like we don’t have any choices at all.Inside this episode:The quiet ways women become p
51 - The Hidden Cost of Staying Quiet About Addiction (Your Silence Is Not Strength)
When you’re living alongside a loved one’s addiction, staying quiet can feel like the safest choice. You tell yourself you’re protecting them, your family, and yourself. You don’t want to make things worse, invite judgement, or fuel the shame that’s already there.But here’s the truth, silence doesn’t always protect you. In fact, it can keep you stuck. And it can keep your loved one stuck, too
50 - Why You Can’t Find Peace Without Discomfort
You just want peace.Peace in your home. Peace in your relationship. Peace in your body.But here’s the hard truth no one talks about:The real peace?It’s on the other side of discomfort.In this milestone episode, Amanda gets raw and real about what it actually takes to reclaim your voice and protect your peace when you’re in a relationship impacted by addiction.We unpack:Why the “path of least resis
49 - Are You Still Getting It All Done But Falling Apart Inside?
You’re holding it all together... the work, the parenting, the appointments, the appearances. But behind closed doors, you’re exhausted, anxious, and quietly crumbling under the weight of your partner’s addiction.In this deeply honest episode, Amanda explores what “not okay” really looks like for high-functioning, capable and amazing women. From over-functioning and emotional whiplash to hiding
48 - Why Sobriety Isn’t the Finish Line: The Truth About Addiction & Relationships
You’ve been holding on hoping that once your partner gets sober, everything will fall back into place. But what happens when that day finally comes… and nothing feels better?In this raw and honest episode on Addiction Makes Three, we unpack the hard truth: sobriety doesn’t magically fix everything. If you’re a high-functioning woman walking on eggshells, exhausted by emotional labour, and silently
47 - 11 Subtle Signs Your Partner’s Addiction Is Controlling Your Life
If you’re lying awake at night wondering “Is it really that bad?”, “Am I overreacting?”, or “How did I even get here?” this episode is for you.In this powerful and compassionate solo episode, Amanda walks you through 11 subtle but life-altering signs that your partner’s addiction might be quietly taking over your world, emotionally, mentally, and even physically.This is not about blaming or shamin
46 - Is this addiction or am I overreacting?
Ever caught yourself thinking, “Surely this isn’t happening in my family… right?” Or feeling like you’re walking on eggshells, second-guessing everything while everyone else insists things are “fine”?In this raw and real episode, Amanda speaks directly to the silent warriors - partners, loved ones, and family members of someone struggling with substance use or addiction.Whether you use that word o
45 - How to Support Your Kids When Their Other Parent Is Struggling With Addiction
This one’s for the Mother's navigating the unspoken and the unimaginable - the emotional toll of supporting your children when their other parent is struggling with addiction.In today’s heartfelt episode, Amanda gets radically real about what it means to show up as the safe parent (not the perfect one). Through her own lived experience, she shares what helped her move from daily survival mode to b
44 - Why Holidays Feel Harder When You’re Living With Addiction
If you’re already dreading the holidays months in advance, you’re not alone. When addiction is part of the family picture, Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays and everything in between can feel less like joy and more like survival.The tension.The managing.The bracing.The pretending.The heartbreak.In this episode, we’ll explore:Why holidays amplify stress when addiction is in the mixHow to stop aba
43 - Why Advice About Addiction Rarely Helps (and What to Do Instead)
“Just leave.” “It’s not that bad.” Sound familiar? Everyone has opinions about addiction, but most of them don’t help.You’re confused. You’re exhausted. It's a lot right now - addiction, recovery and everything in between, and what do you do? You message someone for advice - your sister, your cousin, a friend, a Facebook group. Suddenly, you’re swimming in five different opinions… and still don’t
42 - How many chances is too many?
If you've ever found yourself asking, "Should I give them another chance?" you are not alone, and this episode is for you.You're not weak for hoping things will change. You're not naïve for wanting the best. But if you're stuck in a cycle of promises, letdowns, and “one more chances,” it’s time to pause and ask: what is different this time, with this chance?In this episode, we unpack the real reas
41 - The One Question Not to Ask Someone Struggling With Addiction
We’ve all done it: “Have you been drinking?” or “Did you use?” But asking this question rarely gets you the truth, and it keeps you stuck in the same painful cycle.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why that question shuts down honesty and connectionThe better way to approach communication when addiction is presentWhat to focus on instead (hint: your wellbeing and boundaries)For spouses and loved ones
40 - Why Capable, Smart Women Still Feel Stuck in a Loved One’s Addiction
If you’ve ever thought, “I should know better,” you’re not alone. Loving someone with addiction can make the smartest, most capable women feel paralysed.In this episode, we’ll cover:Why intelligence doesn’t protect you from addiction’s impactThe hidden ways you might be over-functioningHow to rebuild trust with yourselfWhether you’ve been Googling “What does alcoholism look like?”, “Am I enablin
39 - What Actually Helps a Loved One Get (and Stay) Sober
We all want our loved ones to get sober and stay that way. But here’s the truth: it’s not your job to carry them there.But if you're honest?You're exhausted.Your heart is tired from hoping.Your brain won’t stop spinning—thinking, overthinking.You keep showing up, holding it all together…But somewhere along the way, you got lost.Maybe you feel like if you just love them harder… support them better
38 - What It Really Takes to Change (with Jack from Real Drug Talk)
Change isn’t neat, and it’s rarely a straight line. In this raw conversation with Jack from Real Drug Talk, we dive into what recovery actually looks like, beyond the Instagram quotes.You’ve heard the term rock bottom - but what does that actually mean, how can we change the lens and what really helps someone change?In this raw and eye-opening episode, I’m joined by Jack from Real Drug Talk, who b
37 - Why You Can’t Say the Right Thing? (Especially When It Matters Most)
Have you ever walked away from a conversation with a loved one in active addiction/navigating recovery thinking...“Why didn’t I just say what I meant?”“Why do I always say that when I know it doesn't help?""Why did I say I was ok with that when I'm not?"If your nervous system is fried, your plate is overflowing, and your words keep getting caught in your throat - you’re not broken. You’re up to yo
36 - From Chaos to Courage: Carol’s Story of Choosing Peace
When you’re in the thick of it navigating a partner’s addiction, it can feel like you’re the only one carrying the weight. The guilt. The confusion. The hope. The heartbreak. The double life of keeping it all together on the outside… while quietly falling apart inside.In this powerful conversation, I’m joined by the incredible Carol Beaumont. Mum, advocate, and co-founder of Her Courage as she ope
35 - When You’re Scared to Set the Boundary… Start Here
If the thought of setting a boundary leaves you spiralling, freezing, or avoiding the conversation altogether… you’re in the right place.I know it's hard, and you don't want to be here or to have to have this conversation at all. And I promise you, it's possible for this to be better, and we can do it, one small conversation and action step at a time.In this episode, I gently walk you through wha
34 - “Thoughts and Prayers” Won’t fix this
When you're in the thick of a loved one's addiction, the last thing you need is a polite platitude.“Thoughts and prayers.”We’ve all heard it. Maybe we’ve even said it. But in the face of real crisis, real grief, and real chaos, it’s just not enough.This isn’t about religion or belief. It’s about presence vs platitudes.You’ll hear:Why “thoughts and prayers” often land as dismissive, even when well-
33 - You’re not their rehab
Have you ever felt like you’re carrying the weight of your loved one's addiction? Like if you just loved them enough, supported them enough, or said the right thing, they’d finally change?You’re not alone—and I need you to hear this: You are not their rehab. In today’s episode, we’re diving deep into:✅ Why you feel so responsible for their recovery (and why it’s not your job)✅ How addiction tric
32 - What cyclones teach us about a loved ones addiction
Listening live... join the free 60 minute workshop - Boundaries That Build Connection & Protect Your Peace: Why They Matter, What Works, & How to Set Them Without GuiltHappening on March 10th and 11th at two different times (LIVE!) The only catch? There is no replay on this one. So secure your spot and I'll see you there. Reserve your Spot HereCyclone Alfred is on the approach and it
31- Why we need to rethink the word ‘Addict'
Listening live... join the free 60 minute workshop - Boundaries That Build Connection & Protect Your Peace: Why They Matter, What Works, & How to Set Them Without GuiltHappening on March 10th and 11th at two different times (LIVE!) The only catch? There is no replay on this one. So secure your spot and I'll see you there. Reserve your Spot HereHave you ever stopped to think about how
30 - Why boundaries matter way more than we think
Boundaries, they are the gift that gives, but also... can have us tripping up over ourselves and have us in a tale spin of confusion. Have you ever felt guilty for setting boundaries? Or wondered why the ones you set don’t seem to stick? In this episode we’re diving deep into boundaries—what they are, why they matter, and how to set them in a way that actually works.Or maybe you were like me 5
29 - Loving someone in addiction is like living two lives
Your life looks good on the outside—successful, capable, and "fine." But inside? It feels like a constant battle.Loving someone struggling with addiction comes with an exhausting double life. You’re holding everything together, managing responsibilities, putting on a brave face—yet inside, you're drained, overwhelmed, and wondering why no one sees how hard this really is.Is it wrong to feel this w
28 - Your unexpected resentment in Their recovery
Your partner has finally gone to rehab... you've navigated the minefield of addiction and all it's chaos and have been supportive, and while you want to be hopeful, you can't ignore the resentment creeping in…Is it wrong to feel frustrated? Shouldn’t you just be grateful they’re in recovery? Isn't this exactly what you wanted?You’ve spent so much time holding everything together, but now, exhaust
27 - Should You Leave or Stay? Why That’s Not the Only Question
You are in a relationship with someone who is struggling with addiction, or is navigating recovery...And you are wondering if this is it? Is this what life is now? Is this it? Is this enough?You’re stuck in the hardest decision of your life—should you stay, or should you leave? But what if that’s not the real question? What if neither choice magically fixes the pain you’re in?How do you make a dec
26 - Why waiting for them to get sober is going to be too late
Are you waiting, hoping, and holding your breath for your loved one to get sober, believing that once they do, everything will be okay? In this episode, I dive into why waiting for sobriety to "fix" your relationship is a dangerous mindset trap—and how it can leave you miles behind when recovery finally happens.We’ll explore:✅ Why sobriety isn’t a silver bullet for relationship healing✅ The hidden
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