Finding Solace
Finding Solace is a show that connects people to the real world around them through actionable insights for everyday people. No fluff, no signaling, just talking. From dating, to clean eating, masculinity, and finance, I cover the things that every 18-34 year old guy needs to know.
Episodes
open your eyes, the world is beautiful - #052
In today's episode, I talk about how easy it is to fall into a doomer trap, how to have hope in a hopeless society, the beauty and humanity of the world around you, and how everything will be okay if you slow down and pay attention to what's happening in your life.---Support the show for as little as $2 per month: https://solacespeaks.com/
why you feel empty, bored, and unfulfilled - #051
In today's episode, I talk about why you feel empty, bored, and unfulfilled through the lens of Alan Watts and his discussions on the different models of the universe. This video dives into Alan Watts' ceramic, fully automatic, and dramatic models of the universe, how to find meaning in the world, and much more!-----check out my notes and support the channel:https://solacespeaks.com/suppor
1 hour of dating advice that changed my life (compilation)
In today's episode, I go through 1+ hour of dating advice, from dealing with rejection to addressing the problems with the modern dating scene. This is a compilation of previous uploads that are focused on dating and dating advice.---Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or beco
slowing down will change your life - #050
In today's episode, I talk about the burnout and frustration that so many of us feel when caught in the relentless cycle of modern adult life and the corporate grind. I explore how our society indoctrinates us to constantly live for the future: climbing the ladder, increasing our spending, and hyper-optimizing our day, which robs us of the simple joys we used to effortlessly experience as kids. In
why you don't feel like an adult - #049
If you are above the age of 18 and still don't feel like an adult, there's a good reason for that. In today's episode, I talk about the rite of passage that comes with adulthood, the increase in responsibilities, and how to grow up properly and take control of your life.---Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/
the spectacle of modern dating - #048
In today's episode, I talk about the spectacle of modern dating: how dating apps have destroyed people's brains, the commodification of romance, the social media spectacle and how to take charge of your dating life in 2026.---Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a mem
stop letting the world steal your spirit - #047
The world is designed to steal your spirit and push you down. How can you prevent the world from stealing your spirit? In today's episode, I talk about asking questions, playing, and having hope for a better future.---Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:
the art of a perfect summer - #046
In today's episode, I talk about why the modern obsession with treating summer as a 90-day productivity bootcamp is completely ruining the most magical time of the year. It's so easy to fall into the trap of using the summer months strictly to optimize your future by endlessly grinding on a business or side hustle, but those aren't the summers you'll look back on fondly. Instead, I
this is your sign to go all in - #045
In today's episode, I talk about why doing things with half effort is the quickest way to end up going absolutely nowhere. Instead of falling into the toxic self-improvement trap of trying to juggle a million different "priorities" at once, I explain why you need to pick a singular focus and go all in. We explore the core lesson from the book Essentialism about preserving your energy
we are funding the world we hate - #044
In today's episode, I talk about how our constant pursuit of convenience is actually making us more disconnected, anxious, and lonely. While it is easy to blame corporations for the lack of community spaces and the rise of mindless consumption, the truth is that we are voluntarily voting for this world with our everyday choices and our wallets. We trick ourselves into thinking that drive-thrus
how to make new friends in 2026 - #043
In today's episode, I talk about why making friends as an adult in 2026 feels so much harder than it did back in the golden days of 2010 gaming lobbies, and how we can actually fix it. I dive into how our constant reliance on smartphones and social media is creating an invisible barrier that blocks spontaneous, real-world connections. To help you break out of that cycle, I lay out a practical
why crushes are so painful - #042
Have you ever wondered why crushes are so painful? Have you ever thought about someone all day, even though you've never spoken to them before? In today's episode, I dive deep into the world of crushes and explain why they make you feel the way you do.---Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffe
how to make 2026 the best year of your life (its not too late) - #041
Today I talk about why making a fresh start in a new year is so difficult and how you can actually make 2026 different. We often set unrealistic goals in January, only to burn out by March because we try to change everything at once. True change does not come from big resolutions but from small, sustainable habit loops. By focusing on a clear cue, a simple routine, and a rewarding result, you can
stop taking yourself so seriously - #040
In today's episode, I talk about the trap of constantly optimizing for a future that may never arrive. Most of us live our lives as a series of transactions, treating every moment as a means to an end, whether that is working a job to pay for a vacation or rushing through a game to reach the final level. We have turned our lives into a mechanical project, converting time into money and experie
how to deal with rejection - #039
Shorter, more straightforward and simpler. Today I talk about the fear of rejection and how it often causes us to reject ourselves before anyone else does. In high school, I was an awkward guy who tried so hard to fit in that I became unnatural. This fear creates a version of you that people find hard to connect with. We often have a bias where we think neutral moments are negative, like assuming
you don't need a girlfriend - #038
Gemini said Today I talk about why you don't need a girlfriend, no matter how much society or your own insecurities try to convince you otherwise. I explore the trap of seeking a relationship to fill an internal void. This often leads to an inauthentic life where you design your gym routines and social circles solely to attract others. A relationship is not a fix for your personal shortcoming
the corporate machine is designed to break you - #037
We live in a world that is focused on exploiting you for your time, your money, and your attention. You have to work long hours for little pay to make money to spend on pointless items that are shoved down your throat through manipulative marketing. Your data is being used against you. You are part of a system that keeps you burnt out and hopeless, and privacy is getting progressively worse.Today,
how to be a proper man - #036
Finding a sense of direction in your 20s is becoming increasingly difficult because modern "masculinity" has been reduced to a performance. It has become a competition to see who can signal the most wealth or desirability. In this video, I argue that being a proper man has nothing to do with these superficial markers. It is about achieving a harmony between action and intuition, and movi
how to get a girlfriend in 16 minutes - #035
The way modern dating works absolutely sucks. In this episode, I talk about how we’ve traded natural human connection for algorithmically suggested portfolios and shallow swiping. We sit at home hoping a large corporation will facilitate a romantic match while paying for "premium" access just to be seen. I share my own experience of wasting years (and a lot of money) on these apps only t
why i stopped eating sugar (and why you should too) - #034
I was eating ice cream almost daily, and it was destroying my mental and physical health. In today's episode, I talk about the negative side effects of a diet high in added sugar, why I stopped eating sugar entirely, and how you can improve your diet to feel better both mentally and physically.----Check out my habit tracking app: https://feelwrite.app/
what should you do with your life? - #033
It seems like everyone has their life figured out. Like they know their career path, their personal goals and aspirations and their day-to-day routine. But, it's fake. Nobody actually knows what they are doing with their life, and you shouldn't feel like you are behind because of it. In today's episode, I talk about how, even with this project, I still feel lost and directionless. How I question e
why you should worry about your online privacy - #032
Big Tech isn’t just watching you; it’s building a psychological profile to exploit your vulnerabilities for profit. In this episode, I talk about the "surveillance capitalism" machine where every click, pause, and search is logged to manipulate your spending. This isn't just about 1984-style control. It’s a "Brave New World" scenario where companies like Uber or Allstate us
junk food is literally killing you - #031
The food system isn’t just broken; it’s designed to keep us sick while extracting as much money as possible. In this episode, I talk about how ultra-processed foods have taken over more than half of our daily calories. These aren't just "unhealthy" snacks. They are industrial products engineered to be hyper-palatable, causing blood sugar spikes and insulin crashes that leave us exhausted and brain
how nature can improve your mental health - #030
We’ve traded the natural world for an artificial one constructed for consumption and safety. In this episode, I talk about the quiet exhaustion of living at a pace we weren't built for. Every moment not spent "improving" is treated like a waste of space. I explore how the digital world’s constant need for our attention is a form of brain rot that drains our mental health.I share my own journey of
how to talk to anyone and cure your social anxiety - #029
Our smartphone-addicted world has caused a significant increase to the levels of social anxiety that young people are feeling. In today's episode, I talk about the book "how to talk to anyone" and how simple tricks can help to improve your social skills.---My bookshop: https://bookshop.org/shop/solacereadsCheck out my habit tracking app:
we live in a burnout society - #028
Modern life isn’t turning into 1984, but something more quietly brutal: a burnout society where we become our own overbearing bosses. In this episode, I talk about Byung-Chul Han’s ideas and how the constant pressure to optimize your productivity, career, body, and even hobbies slowly drains your energy, identity, and joy, all while making you feel like you’re the one failing.I share how this has
how to be a proper adult in 2026 - #027
Nobody hands you a manual on how to be a real adult; you just wake up one day and feel like you’re supposed to have it all figured out. In this episode, I talk about what actually matters beneath the surface-level advice about careers and finances: emotional maturity, owning your mistakes, taking responsibility for your life without ignoring how hard the world can be, setting boundaries, and takin
consumerism is killing our culture - #026
Modern life is starting to feel flat, repetitive, and a little soulless, and it’s not an accident. In this episode, I talk about how consumerism and algorithms are quietly reshaping our cities, our art, and even our sense of self, turning culture into something optimized for profit instead of human connection, creativity, and meaning. I break down how everything from Marvel sequels and Call of Dut
its okay to be a loser - #025
Feeling like a “loser” is almost inevitable in a world that worships money, status, and constant self-optimization. In this episode, I talk about why chasing those external metrics leaves so many of us anxious, insecure, and disconnected from what actually matters, and why opting out of that rigged game can be the first real step toward peace and meaning in your life.I share how redefining value o
everything dogs can teach us about life - #024
Our dogs can teach us a lot about how to live a fulfilling and meaningful life. In this episode, I talk about how my ten year old Australian Shepherd has taught me how to be mindful, how to love, how to live in the moment, how to be satisfied with the things I have, and more.---Check out my habit tracking app:https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or beco
your diet is destroying your mental health - #023
Eating “whatever” is quietly wrecking your mood, energy, sleep, and focus, and a lot of what we call mental health issues are made worse by the way we eat. In this episode, I walk through how ultra-processed foods drive inflammation and depression risk, and why getting more real protein, healthy fats, fiber, and key micronutrients can make you feel like a different person over time.I break down th
it really is that damn phone - #022
Our phones are quietly running our lives, speeding up our days, and pulling us out of the real world without us even noticing. In this episode, I tell the story of breaking my phone, spending a few hours in a mall without it, and realizing how strange it now feels to simply exist in public without a screen to hide behind.I dig into how constant connectivity, news, and social media overload us with
the art of winging it - #021
Life starts feeling dull when every moment is scheduled, optimized, and tied to productivity, and you forget what it’s like to just do things for no reason other than curiosity. In this episode, I talk about the “art of winging it” as an antidote to that overplanned, joyless way of living, and how loosening your grip on outcomes can actually make your life feel more alive.I share how growing up tu
how to turn your dating life around - #020
Modern dating feels broken for a lot of people, but this episode is about stepping out of that mess and rebuilding your dating life in the real world instead of on apps. I talk about how dating apps commodify loneliness, create unrealistic expectations, and train you to treat people as endless, disposable options, which quietly kills both your confidence and your ability to connect.From there, I
how to enjoy your life again - #019
Life can start to feel flat and joyless when every day blends together into work, scrolling, and numbing out, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. In this episode, I break down a practical reset for actually enjoying life again, starting with getting away from constant noise and overstimulation so your brain has room to think and feel present. I talk about carving out true silence, cutting back
Big Corporations, Consumerism, Privacy, and The Burnout Society - #018
Big corporations, consumerism, and violations of modern privacy are some of the biggest issues facing free agency in the west. These companies control everything, from the food we eat to the content we consume.In today's episode, I talk about how to regain your life from large corporations, how to avoid being spied on, how to cut back on consumption to feel more fulfilled, and I touch on Byung
stop trying to attract women - #017
When you’re constantly chasing women, it’s easy to feel stuck, anxious, and like something is wrong with you. In this episode, I talk about why trying to “attract women” as a goal is broken, and how things start to shift when you focus on building a life you genuinely enjoy instead of playing a role to impress someone.I share how letting go of shallow checklists and outcome-obsessed thinking helpe
alcohol is literally ruining your life - #016
Alcohol is completely destroying your mind and body. In this episode, I talk about why I stopped drinking, how alcohol affects the body, and why drinking alcohol is the same as drinking poison.---Check out my habit tracking app:https://feelwrite.app/Enjoy the show? Buy me a coffee or become a member:https://www.buymeacoffee.com/solacespeaksMy bookshop:
drifting apart from friends in your 20s - #015
Growing apart from friends can feel confusing and sad, especially when you start realizing you are not on the same path anymore. This episode is about accepting that friendships are meant to evolve, and that drifting is often a natural side effect of both people changing rather than anyone “failing.”I talk about looking back on old friendships with nostalgia without trying to force them to feel th
the beauty of being unknown - #014
When life knocks you down, it’s really easy to feel like you’re just losing over and over. In this episode, I talk about how to reframe those moments so that, long term, you literally can’t lose.I share personal stories about rejection, injury, and family chaos, and how each of those “failures” quietly turned into raw material for confidence, self-awareness, independence, and better relationships.
The Ultimate Guide To Turn Your Life Around - #013
This is a guide to help you turn your life around, get better at dating, become more mindful, and improve your social life. This episode talks about being in tune with nature, not being attached to what women think about you, disconnecting from dating apps and social media, and more.These were originally uploaded onto YouTube before being repurposed for this podcast, enjoy :)---Check out my habit
why life feels so pointless - #012
Some days life feels completely pointless, like you are working, scrolling, and killing time without any real reason behind it. In this episode, I talk about that hollow feeling, why our generation is so overstimulated and directionless, and how constantly numbing boredom with screens keeps you from ever figuring out what you actually want.I share what happened when I forced myself to sit in silen
how to make new friends - #011
Making friends as an adult feels way harder than it used to, but it’s not impossible if you’re willing to be intentional, observant, and a little uncomfortable. In this episode, I talk about moving to a new city, not meeting a single person for months, and what my friend Doug taught me about finding “connector” people who can open the door to whole friend groups.I break down practical ways to put
how to never lose again - #010
Sometimes life piles on rejections, failures, and painful experiences to the point where it feels like you are just losing over and over again. In this episode, I talk about how changing the way you frame those moments can turn them into something you are genuinely glad happened, even if they were awful at the time.I share stories about approaching someone and getting shut down, destroying my leg
you don't need to be "well-rounded" - #009
We’re told we should be “well-rounded” — juggling tons of skills, hobbies, and goals — but trying to be decent at everything often just leaves you mediocre and burned out. In this episode, I talk about why specializing can be a lot more powerful, using examples like MrBeast obsessively focusing on YouTube and my own experience spreading myself too thin in college and ending up average at everythin
dating apps are ruining your life - #008
Dating apps kind of suck, and in this episode I get into why they leave so many of us feeling drained, replaceable, and weirdly worse about ourselves the longer we use them. I talk about the empty swiping cycle, how gamified matching messes with your expectations, and why “more options” doesn’t actually mean better connection.Instead of treating apps like the main way to find someone, I shift the
how to get everything you've ever wanted - #007
Most people say you can’t have it all, but I don’t really buy that—you just can’t have it all at the same time. In this episode, I talk about my own failed “do everything at once” self‑improvement era, why our 30-goal lists never work, and how watching a young millionaire friend made me rethink how progress actually happens.I break down the “marbles in buckets” idea: you only get so many hours a d
it's okay to not have it all "together" - #006
Sometimes it feels like everyone else has life figured out and you’re the only one barely holding it together. This episode is about accepting that you will never fully “have it together,” and learning to move toward your goals anyway without burning yourself out chasing some perfect version of yourself.I talk about the pressure to optimize every part of your life, the guilt that comes with fallin
you are too comfortable, and it's killing you - #005
A lot of us avoid risk because we’re scared to lose the comfort we’ve finally built, but that same comfort slowly kills our growth, ambition, and sense of purpose. In this episode, I talk about how staying “safe” with a stagnant YouTube channel and a comfortable routine drained my passion, and I use a story about a hunter hiding in a warm cave to show how comfort can quietly turn into a trap.I get
the urge to live a simpler life - #004
Modern life makes you feel like you have to do everything at once: crush your career, stay fit, grow a side hustle, travel, be social, and somehow keep up with your “personal brand” on top of it. In this episode, I talk about how that pressure pushed me into a constant state of burnout, fantasizing about running away to live a quiet, simple life in a cabin or a van.I share how discovering the idea
why modern dating sucks - #003
Modern dating can feel hopeless, but a lot of that comes from chasing it the wrong way and living your life as a performance instead of something that actually feels good to you. In this episode, I talk about how I spent years grinding dating apps, doing all the “right” things, and still felt empty and alone, and how everything shifted when I stopped centering my life around trying to be desirable
the reason you feel lonely all the time - #002
Most of us feel lonely way more often than we admit, and it’s not just “in your head” — it’s a side effect of how disconnected modern life is from the real, physical world. In this episode, I compare a simple 1980s day to a typical work-from-home, hyper-digital routine to show how screens, delivery apps, and endless scrolling pull us out of real life and leave us feeling isolated.I talk about why
the freedom in knowing that nobody cares about you - #001
Feeling stuck, scared to make a change, or worried about what everyone will think? This episode is a short, honest pep talk about how little other people are actually paying attention to your choices and why that can set you free.I share a personal story about walking away from an engineering path to pursue marketing and realizing that most of my “stuckness” was really fear of disappointing others
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