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You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for the Adult Children of Parents with Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders
You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for the Adult Children of Parents with Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders
Torie Wiksell 29 episodes Nov 10, 2026
Torie Wiksell, a therapist specializing in supporting adult children of parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders, hosts this podcast. Drawing from her own experience growing up with a mother who had an unmanaged personality disorder, she offers relatable insights and practical advice. The podcast aims to help listeners navigate complicated parent relationships while fostering hope and reassurance that they are not alone. Torie also shares resources and encourages following her on social media for additional support.
Episodes
Your Holiday Plan Isn’t As Clear As You Think
It's a tale as old as time...you walk into the holiday with your dysfunctional family with a plan and leave beating yourself up thinking you should have known better.What if the problem isn't you or that it's impossible to have a successful holiday with your narcissistic, emotionally immature, or otherwise toxic parent?What if instead the clarity you had going in wasn't actuall
Not Reacting to Your Narcissistic Parent Can’t Be the Goal
When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, it's easy to fall into the trap of trying to stay calmer and less reactive around your difficult parent. But, as we talk about in this episode, that's often not the best goal.Listen to learn:Why making “not reacting” the goal teaches you to become desensitized to abuse, and what to aim
When Your Parent Says You’re the Toxic One
Narcissistic, emotionally immature, and otherwise toxic parents love to say their adult child is the toxic one or that it's them walking on eggshells around their child. But despite this being a common talking point in dysfunctional family systems, it's not exactly accurate as to what's happening underneath the surface.In this episode we discuss:Why adult children and parents aren’t
Boundaries You Set With Yourself
When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, boundaries are understandably complicated. But, what if you could start making changes by setting some with yourself?In this episode you'll learn:Boundaries with yourself: what they are, and why knowing your limits comes before anything you communicate to your parentWhy the urge to explain
You Know What You "Should" Do, You Just Can't Bring Yourself to Do It
You've known for months exactly what boundary you need to set. And every time you sit down to do it, something in your body says absolutely not, and you tell yourself you'll deal with it later.If you grew up with a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder or narcissistic traits, you learned early on that reading the room kept you safe and while expressing your emotions was a
The Story Behind Why I'm So Passionate About Helping Adults Navigate Their Dysfunctional Family Dynamics (Part Two)
A quick update first- I'm shifting into a more sustainable rhythm for the podcast this fall, then I get into part two of my story. I talk about growing up with a Jekyll and Hyde mom, what that taught me, and how my understanding of what was actually going on with her has changed over the years.I talk about how if I could stumble through my own healing as clumsily as I have and still end up wi
Quick Update
A quick update on the podcast and when the next episode will drop.Support the showDisclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.
The Story Behind Why I'm So Passionate About Helping Adults Navigate Their Dysfunctional Family Dynamics (Part One)
>>>Grab my new guide, Surviving Interactions With a Narcissistic, Emotionally Immature, or Otherwise Toxic Parent: confidentboundaries.com/the-guideThis week I'm sharing more about me: who I am, why I do the work that I do, and what led me to start this podcast.In this episode you'll learn:About my clinical background and how that led to me working almost entirely with adults wh
When "I'm Sorry" Doesn't Feel Like a Real Apology
When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, apologies often function as a way to end the conversation, avoid accountability, or label you as the problem.And like many aspects of these types of family dynamics, apologies can be confusing and leave you replaying the conversation, wondering if you're being unreasonable by not fully acce
Do Coping Skills Actually Work? What Cycle Breakers Need to Know About Healing from Family Trauma
Coping skills and even CBT are getting demonized as shallow fixes that ignore trauma. But they play an important part in healing from the trauma of growing up with a parent who has narcissistic personality disorder or unmanaged borderline personality disorder.And it's why so many cycle breakers end up skipping the tools that would actually help them get through hard moments of their healing,
Feeling Crazy in a Chaotic Family: Why Clarity and Confidence Change Everything
Growing up with a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder or strong narcissistic traits means growing up in chaos. Gaslighting makes you question your reality, walking on eggshells keeps your nervous system on high alert, leaving you feeling crazy in a family that insists everything is fine.In this episode you'll learn:How clarity about what's really happening in your famil
No New Episode This Week
Support the showDisclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.
Am I Mean for Setting Boundaries? Why Taking Care of Yourself Feels Cruel
When you were raised by a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, you learn early on that keeping the peace and managing your parent's moods is the "kind" thing to do.Your family conflates kindness with you taking on the job of regulating your parent's emotions, and now every boundary you try to set can feel like a moral failure instead o
Why You Can't Stop Reacting to a Parent with Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder
You've told yourself that this time you won't let it get to you, and somehow you still leave the conversation feeling defeated and distraught, wondering why you can't just let things go.When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, you learn to brace for the mean comments, the cruelty, the digs that come out of nowhere. And y
You Can Handle Anything, and That's the Problem: Capacity vs. Capability When You Were Raised by a Toxic Parent
Too many cycle breakers know that moment when your phone lights up with the latest family emergency and you drop everything to try to calm the storm.When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, you learn early on that keeping the peace is what keeps you safe. So, when there's a crisis, of course you spring into action.In this episode
How to Survive Father's Day When You Were Raised by a Toxic Parent
When grow up with a toxic parent, Father's Day isn't an exciting celebration. It's a loaded weekend that sits heavy on your nervous system.And it's why the week leading up to it can leave you feeling completely drained before you even get to the main event.In this episode you'll learn:Why the week before and after Father's Day can feel just as heavy as the day itselfH
Stop Explaining Your Boundary to Your Toxic Parent
When you set a boundary with a narcissistic parent, or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, they tend to push back by acting like they don't get it. They argue, they question whether your boundary is even reasonable, they pull you into a debate about whether you should have it at all. It's why these conversations so often end with you backing down, second-guessing you
Setting the Boundary Is Only Part One: What Most Cycle Breakers Miss
You finally set the boundary and for about five seconds you felt proud of yourself. Then your parent pushed back and wished you could take it all back.When you have a parent with narcissistic or unmanaged borderline personality disorder, boundaries don't land the way you were taught they would. These types of parents are emotionally dysregulated, rely on you to manage their feelings, and read
Gaslighting and Self-Doubt: Why You Can't Trust Yourself When You Were Raised by a Parent with Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder
That moment where your brain short circuits because your parent just looked you dead in the eye and insisted the situation you’re describing never happened at all. When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, gaslighting isn't just a buzzword you read about on Reddit. It's the ever present way your parent avoids taking responsibi
How to Cope With Mother's Day Hangover When You Have a Mom with Borderline or Narcissistic Traits
That heavy, drained, slightly nauseous feeling you've been carrying around since Sunday? You're not alone.If you grew up with a narcissistic mom or a mom with borderline personality disorder, Mother's Day doesn't simply end when the day ends. The emotional hangover that follows can be just as heavy as the lead-up, and it can leave you replaying every interaction, every word, ev
Why "I'll Never Lose My Temper Again" Backfires When You're a Cycle Breaker Raised by a Parent with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
If you grew up with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, you know what it's like to have a crystal clear picture of what patterns you don’t want to repeat. The problem is that picture doesn't come with instructions for what it actually requires to do things differently, and that gap is where so many cycle breakers get stuck in a painful loop of tolerating too
How to Survive Mother's Day When You Have a Mom with Borderline or Narcissistic Traits
When you grow up with a narcissistic mom or a mom with borderline personality disorder, Mother's Day hits different. The whole holiday is built on a story that doesn't match your reality, and it can feel like there’s no space for the reality you actually lived. Whether you're still in contact, low contact, no contact, or your mom has passed away, this day can bring up a complicated
It's Not Just Your Parent. It's Your Whole Family System.
In this episode, Torie breaks down why dysfunctional families are so resistant to change, what actually happens when you bring new boundaries and skills back into your family, and why the pushback you're experiencing is not a sign you’re doing things wrong.Listen to learn: What sets a healthy-ish family apart from a dysfunctional one Why your family's behavior can get worse when you star
What It’s Like to Have a Parent with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
In this episode, I walk you through:What patterns are common in narcissistic vs. borderline personality disorderWhy the diagnosis itself isn’t what matters mostWhat it feels like to grow up as a child dealing with a parent with these dynamicsThe key differences in behavior, motivation, and emotional impactWhy these relationships feel so confusing, intense, and destabilizingWe also talk about emoti
Welcome to You're Not Crazy!
Welcome to You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for the Adult Children of Parents with Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders. Hosted by therapist and coach Torie Wiksell, this podcast is dedicated to those who have grown up trying to navigate the complicated and challenging realities of having a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder. In this first episode, Torie intro
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