"You Are A Lot" (an ADHD/AuDHD podcast)
This is the "You Are A Lot" (an ADHD/AuDHD podcast) hosted by Jen Kirkman. The show explores her personal experience with a later-in-life diagnosis of AuDHD, which includes both ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder. She discusses the latest research and aims to create an affirming space for neurodivergent people, helping them feel less confused, more connected, and fully validated.
Episodes
Episode 107: Jen & Mel AuDHD Chat Part 1
🎉 Help me hit my end of year Patreon goal of 400 paid subscribers! Only $7.99 a month or take advantage of my Special October sale 31% off of an annual membership! Click here to join us! In This Patreon Only Episode: I talk to my friend Melissa Stephens about our journeys to an AuDHD diagnosis, being literal, being too trusting and needing to stay safe, neurodivergent humor, OCD, panic attacks, an
Episode 106: How To Process All The ADHD Information
🎉 Help me hit my end of year Patreon goal of 400 paid subscribers! I'm at 255 now. Will you be number 256? In this episode: I talk about what to do when there's too much ADHD/AuDHD information and you don't know where to start, including this podcast's back catalog. I cover why there's no perfect way to learn, what acceptance really means, an exercise for figuring out how you want to feel, small
Episode 105: Live Q&A with Jen Replay
In this Patreon only episode: I am posting a video/audio replay where answered your questions LIVE on Patreon back in September about all things from what getting caught up feels like, why ADHD humans resist and doubt things at first, somatics, handling eating and meal prep, and how to keep friends. To listen to or watch the entire episode - become a paid Patreon member. You'll get ad-free episod
Episode 104: How To Recover After A Failure If You Have ADHD
In this episode: I talk about how to soothe yourself and talk to yourself after a failure. I share research on why self-compassion is harder for adults with ADHD, Kristin Neff's three components of self-compassion, Sharon Saline's steps for soothing failure and rejection, and how to reframe your ADHD project graveyard. Referenced In This Episode: Link to Episode 63: What Is Empathy Burnout? & 7 W
Live Q&A With Jen Mon Sept 28th 7:30pm (est)
Monday Sept 28th at 730pm! I am doing a LIVE Q&A on Patreon! To join go here: https://tinyurl.com/JenLiveMonSept28Patreon More Live Q&A's coming in October, November, December too! All of this plus video episodes, and bonuses for $7.99 a month. The price goes up to $9.99 in January so join now! It's webinar style - meaning your cameras are off and you can ask me anything in chat! Ask for advice,
Episode 103: Fail Small And Fail Often To Fight ADHD Shame
In this episode, I tell you why you should be inspired by a can of WD-40, and how ADHD humans should be proud of how easily they take risks, but need to get better at failing. Special offer to join my online co-working community! Get 2 weeks free! Use this link: https://jenkirkmancowork.circle.so/checkout/2weeksfree Mentioned in this episode - the book, "Rejection Proof" by Jia Jiang For ad-free e
Episode 102: My Back-To-School-Season-Need-For-A-System
In this episode: I talk about how I "failed" to have the last 3 weeks the way I wanted them, locked in, in Virgo mode, setting a repeatable system that I can do so I can finally figure out how to manage all that I do and have a life. I've made some headway though! To listen to the entire episode - join us over on Patreon. For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patr
Episode 101: My First Time Back Onstage As A Diagnosed AuDHD Human
In this episode: I tell a personal story about getting back on stage two weeks ago for the first time since knowing that I'm an AuDHD human. I talk about the accommodations that I gave to myself in order to make this experience and experiment tolerable and enjoyable and the difference I noticed in having a label and a set of my own guidelines. Little Ouchies - Self Regulation Stim Tools! I LOVE my
Episode 100: Plan Backwards To Get Out The Door & Where You're Going On Time
In this episode: I talk about how to get out the door on time and to your destination on time or early, by planning out leaving your house, backwards. And I tell you why this is proven to be more effective for people with ADHD. Take a somatics class with Jen! Click here. Get on the mailing list about Somatics Classes with Jen here. Join Jen's New Co-Work Community online! I started something cal
Episode 99: Zone Zoning Your Home Or Office For ADHD Novelty
In this episode: I talk about why the original name for this episode was "Different Chairs For Different Things" as I explain that Zone Zoning is simply doing different tasks in different areas of your home and office in order to set internal boundaries, and create novelty and motivation to help with getting stuff done as an ADHD/AuDHD human. Take a somatics class with Jen! Click here. Get on the
Episode 98: My Honest AuDHD Mindset Thoughts
In this episode: I'm talking about the wrong way I was doing this podcast from scheduling when to work on it, to how seriously to treat it, to realizing I need to freaking relax and come here as myself, an AuDHD perimenopausal woman. And I fell into what I think is accidental genius when I said, "Just because you have EXTRA (time, money, bandwith, etc.) doesn't mean you have to GIVE IT AWAY. YOU A
Episode 97: How ADHD Disconnects Us From Our Bodies
In this episode: I talk about how I'm a hot mess right now and somatics has kept me sane. I also talk about how ADHD/AuDHD keeps us disconnected from our bodies which is not great for our minds and what we can do about it! Take a somatics class with Jen! Click here. Get on the mailing list about Somatics Classes with Jen here. See Jen on stage in NYC Aug 28th! Tickets here. Special Patreon Offer
Episode 96: ADHD Journaling Hack - Cut and Paste Your Texts and Emails
In this episode: If you want to journal but can't get started, here's a hack I think I made up - copy and paste the long texts and emails you already wrote today, and that's your journal entry. I talk about why the words you write to other people are often more honest than what you'd write for yourself, and what you'll notice about your own patterns once you have a month of them to read back. Sign
Episode 95: ADHD Habit - Avoid What's Due Now & Work On What's Due Later
In this episode I read a listener email. She wants to know why she can't stop working on projects that are not due yet and avoiding tasks that are due very soon, despite not liking to work under pressure. I have some thoughts and it all comes down to this - at some point we have to decide that we want to believe in what neuroscience tells us about our ADHD brain. Special Patreon Offer For August -
Episode 94: Is It ADHD Or CPTSD? Why Not Both?
In This Episode: In this episode I read a listener email that sparks me to talk about the very much interwoven symptoms of CPTSD and ADHD. I talk about why you might want to do some research on CPTSD if some of the ADHD tips and tricks aren't working for you. Pete Walker is THE CPTSD expert, he's a survivor and has written an incredible book about how to get psycho-education on what it even is and
Episode 93: Price Is Right Planning For ADHD
In this Patreon Only episode: I explain my concept of "Price Is Right Planning" for ADHD humans. I hope it will help you to get things done and feel like you have won your day. For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only episode every Friday - support Jen by subscribing to Patreon at just $7.99/mo or get 15% off if you pay annually. You'll get to suggest ep
Episode 92: The 10-3 Game For ADHD Paralysis
In this episode: I'm introducing you to the 10-3 Rule for productivity, which I call the 10-3 Game. It's a process of setting a timer to do short bursts of work or tasks for ten minutes and then setting the timer for a three minute rest, and doing your day or hard-to-start projects this way. I get into why the rest is the most important part and why this method is very supportive for ADHD humans.
Episode 91: Failed To Plan & Feeling Feelings
This is a super-sized 70 minute Patreon only episode but I'm giving you the first 15 minutes! In this episode: I talk about how my planned personal retreat fell apart, and what therapy helped me see underneath it was that a week of feeling overwhelmed and behind was really unfelt feelings and delayed emotional processing and disguise. I get into why emotional regulation isn't about being calm and
Episode 90: Plan For 3 Kinds Of Days
Click here for your FREE How To Make Your 3 Day Plan Guide that I made! In This Episode: I talk about a simple framework for planning around your energy instead of against it: three kinds of days, super, standard, and survival, plus an SOS day for when you just can't. I walk through how to build all three plans in advance, and how a quick morning gut check tells you which plan to reach for. For ad
Episode 89: The Morning Refresh Is Your New AM Routine
In This Episode: I revisit the concept of the morning routine, why the perfectionism around it backfires, and a simpler idea I'm calling the "morning refresh" instead. For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only episode every Friday - support Jen by subscribing to Patreon at just $7.99/mo or get 15% off if you pay annually. You'll get to suggest episode ide
Episode 88: When Summer Sneaks Up On You & Social Hangovers (Patreon Only)
IN THIS EPISODE I talk about why summer sneaks up on you and leaves you feeling behind on rest and fun. I get into why the planning window slips by before you notice, and how to set up small, doable plans instead of big overwhelming ones. I also talk about the social hangover, why going out wipes you out even in summer, and how to build recovery time so you don't feel guilty about it. To listen t
✨Bonus Episode: Happy Reset Day - July 2nd
IN THIS EPISODE I'm talking about how today, July 2nd, is exactly the in-between point of the year. 182 days have passed with 182 to go in 2026. If you need a reset and want to change this up and start to plan time off, vacation or staycation days, I highly recommend the Big A## Calendar, either the wall calendar of the large planner. I talk about the four types of days that I take every month as
Episode 87: Why ADHD/AuDHD Humans Struggle In the Summer
In This Episode: Why does summer feel so weird when you're ADHD or AuDHD? I talk about some of the reasons, including lost structure, summer-pattern depression, guilt, and the comparison trap, with the science behind each. For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only episode every Friday - support Jen by subscribing to Patreon at just $7.99/mo or get 15% off
Episode 86: The Quick Log & The Done List (Patreon Only)
In this Patreon Only episode I'm talking about two lists that you can add to your daily life that will make a positive difference; the Quick Log and the Done List. Capturing every stray thought during the day to give your brain a break and keeping a record of everything that you did helps you to see how much you do and what you're spending time on. If you join the Patreon you will get the Quick L
Episode 85: Do You Need A Mid-Year Reset?
In this episode: I talk about the mid-year reset. I explain the all-or-nothing trap of writing off a goal because the year feels half over, why the relief of dropping something is worth paying attention to, and how to tell the difference between what I actually want to do and what's just a "should - and how about giving yourself permission to start again at any point in the year. For ad-free epi
Episode 84: Self-Trust and ADHD/AuDHD - Knowing What We Need, Even If We Can't Explain Why
A personal episode about self-trust through my own AuDHD. I talk about what self-trust actually means for me and how it ties into the self-concept episode from earlier this month. I get into why beating ourselves up after we don't follow through only makes things worse. For ad-free episodes out a day early, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only episode every Thursday - sup
Episode 83: Burnout! Revisiting My AuDHD Diagnosis Two Years Later
Two years after receiving my AuDHD diagnosis (a combination of autism spectrum disorder (ASD-1) and ADHD I'm revisiting what it is to be AuDHD with radical honesty and a lavalier microphone from my bed, because BURNOUT. In this episode I'm opening up about what burnout looks like in real time, and how I made a decision that showing up imperfectly will better reset my nervous system than not showin
Episode 82: Your Self-Concept: Where It Came From and Why It's Wrong
In this episode, I dig into something I cannot believe I haven't talked about yet in almost three years of doing this podcast: the self-concept. It's the story we carry about who we are, and for most of us with ADHD, that story was written by other people; teachers, parents, caregivers and it's usually pretty negative. I talk about how to start rewriting it using the identity triad from Siri Solde
Episode 81: Transitions, Waiting Mode, and Appointment Days
In this episode, I respond to a listener letter about something so many of us struggle with: what to do with yourself when you have two appointments in one day and the hours in between feel like a black hole. We talk about waiting mode, anticipatory overwhelm, the trap of comparing yourself to neurotypical people who seem to effortlessly bounce from thing to thing, and why emotional regulation has
Episode 80: Little Life Reset - Try Being Bored
This is the 7th episode in the 8 episode Little Life Reset series, and this one is about doing nothing. It sounds simple but it is not easy, especially for ADHD humans. Boredom activates where your brain connects thoughts, and solves problems. I talk about why the Harvard Business Review says you need to make room for it, and how you can start with literally five minutes on your couch! For ad-fre
Episode 79: Little Life Reset - Walk For Ten Minutes To Boost Your Brain
In this episode of the April Little Life Reset series, I explore the "walking reset" which is the idea that just 10 minutes of walking without distractions can spark creativity, reduce worry, and shift your perspective in a way that sitting and thinking simply can't. Inspired by an author's quote about only trusting creative thoughts that come while walking, I share how I tried (and failed) to bui
Episode 78: Little Life Reset - Sleep Is Not the Thing to Cut
This is the third episode in my 8 part series for April (4 of the episodes are Patreon bonus episodes) called Little Life Resets. This one is about sleep, (no, it's not about insomnia.) This is for the ADHD/AuDHD humans who don't have issues with sleep but keep deciding to cut down significantly on sleep in order to have "more time." I talk about why cutting sleep to "be more productive" is actual
Episode 77: Little Life Reset - Sit With Yourself For Two Minutes
This is the first episode in my 8 part series for April (4 of the episodes are Patreon bonus episodes) called Little Life Resets. This one is about Self-Atunement. Basically it means starting your morning, and checking in during the day to quickly acknowledge any feelings instead of zoning out. I walk you through exactly how I check in with myself (yes, I literally say "hi Jen") and how this helps
Episode 76: When Exhausting Relationships Take Up Time
In this episode, I'm talking about the "laziness lie" from Dr. Devon Price's book Laziness Does Not Exist and how believing you're lazy if you don't help people can quietly destroy your boundaries. I get into why some relationships leave you exhausted, how over-helping actually keeps people stuck, and what it looks like to start pulling back in small, realistic ways. For ad-free episodes out a day
Episode 75: Hyper-Curiosity and ADHD - When Your Brain Won't Stop Exploring
In this episode, I talk about the emerging idea of ADHD and hyper-curiosity - the intense urge to explore, research, and learn everything right now. Hyper-curiosity can fuel creativity and discovery, but it can make modern life harder to manage. Check out Dr. Anne-Laure Le Cunff's book Tiny Experiments, (20% off with my link) which can help the hyper-curious mind figure out how to live in a goal
Episode 74: ADHD Understimulation (When Boredom Feels Physical)
In this episode, I'm talking about ADHD understimulation: what it is, why it feels so much bigger than boredom, and how it can leave you feeling physically stuck, mentally foggy, restless, or exhausted. I compare understimulation to procrastination and depression and I've got some solutions to stay stimulated. For ad-free episodes out a day early, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free
Episode 73: Do You Actually Want to Meditate? ADHD, Motivation, and Rethinking Consistency
Why is it so hard to do something we say we want to do—like meditation? In this episode, Jen responds to a listener from her Patreon community who says she knows meditation is good for her but can't get herself to do it consistently. The conversation quickly turns into a bigger question: do you actually want to do the thing, or do you just think you're supposed to? For ad-free episodes out a day
Episode 72: Why Do My Feelings Change So Fast With ADHD & AuDHD?
Why do your feelings change so fast with ADHD or AuDHD? How can you go from crying to fine in ten minutes? Why does it feel like the first feeling never even happened once it's gone? In episode #72 Why Do My Feelings Change So Fast With ADHD & AuDHD? I get into how ADHD affects tracking feelings over time, how attention changes what feels most true in the moment, and why it can be hard to recall h
Episode 71: ADHD & AuDHD: Why Do My Feelings Contradict Each Other?
Why do you feel excited and dread at the same time? Why do you want something and also don't? In this episode, I talk about when you feel two opposite feelings at the same time. Don't worry. You're not unstable! You're emotionally complex. Listen if you want to learn how we process multiple feelings at the same time and how relationships and situations can influence our mixed feelings. For ad-free
Episode 70: ADHD and AuDHD: Why Feelings Feel Permanent
Why does it feel like the emotion you're in right now is going to last forever? In episode #70 ADHD and AuDHD: Why Feelings Feel Permanent, I explore why we struggle to hold onto the idea that feelings change because when one shows up, our attention locks onto it, making it feel permanent and all-encompassing. I'll help you make sense of why feelings feel so intense, and convincing. For ad-free e
Episode 69: Feelings vs Emotions - What's the Difference and Why It Matters for ADHD & AuDHD
It's Feelings February, on the "You Are A LOT" podcast, and I'm starting the first episode of the month with a basic question: what's the difference between an emotion and a feeling? Emotions are real-time body signals—racing heart, tight chest, clenched jaw, shallow breathing. Feelings are what you become aware of and can name after your brain interprets those body signals. For ADHD and AuDHD hum
Episode 68: How to Use Accountability for ADHD Motivation with Body Doubling, Check-Ins & Follow-Through
In this episode, I share how I use accountability as a practical tool for ADHD without it feeling punishing or pressured. If you've got ADHD (or AuDHD), deal with time blindness, procrastination loops, or resistance like PDA / demand avoidance, this approach can help you stay present, reduce overwhelm, and actually follow through. I break down the three types of accountability (personal, public, a
Episode 67: Planning, Capacity, and Why January Motivation Fades So Fast
In this episode, I'm talking about capacity and why so many ADHD/AuDHD humans feel blocked from doing the things they genuinely care about. It covers the Fresh Start Effect, and how dopamine spikes when we look forward to things more than when we're actually doing them, which is why January motivation fades so quickly. I get into the difference between wanting to create, connect, or rest, and havi
Episode 66: It's "Just Fine January" and Hit Reset By Canceling Most of My Goals.
In this episode, I talk about what happened when I realized my 2025 ideas weren't sustainable, why I canceled projects I'd been grinding on for months, how I'm re-thinking my goal-setting and as an AuDHD human, what I refuse to carry into 2026. For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only episode every Friday - support Jen by subscribing to Patreon at just $
✨Bonus Episode: Tossing: An ADHD Trait
In This Episode: It's an ADHD trait that people are starting to talk about as something uniquely part of our executive functioning difficulties. It refers to throwing out our DOOM (Didn't Organize, Only Moved) piles or any amount of clutter because starting or planning the large task of organizing is causing us to be too overwhelmed. Experts agree that this is not the best way to handle our clutte
✨ Bonus Episode: Clutter Checks
In This Episode: I talk about the constant cycle of burnout, clutter, and resentment that comes with our brain, from tossing bags on the table, leaving yesterday's project out, and then facing the chaos that feels like the FBI searched your home. I talk about why putting things away feels boring, impossible, or like it will take ten hours, and why I get mad at "Past Me" for leaving messes for "Fut
Episode 65 : How To Rest & Relax with ADHD & 27 Microbreaks To Try
In This Episode: I talk about how rest shows up differently for ADHD, autistic, and AuDHD brains, why typical advice doesn't always work, and how to stop treating rest like a reward. I walk through the difference between rest and isolation, how to rest with people, and offer 27 quick, micro break ideas. If rest makes you feel guilty, or restless, I hope this episode will help you rethink what rest
Episode 64: 27 Fun & Cozy Gift Ideas
In This Episode: If holiday gift-giving stresses you out, you need to listen to this one. In this episode, I talk about why gifting can be so overwhelming (executive dysfunction, decision fatigue, social pressure) and how to make it easier. I share simple ways to lower the mental load, like using gift categories, anchoring to one idea, and giving yourself permission to give late (or not at all). I
✨Bonus Episode: Organize to Prevent Impulse Spending
In This Episode: Using shopping for a quick hit of dopamine is definitely an emotional regulation issue, and trying to fill any empty hole in our soul with stuff is a very deep situation. BUT that's not what this episode is about. Sometimes, being organized about how we spend money can bring us into reality where we can clearly see how much we spend (if we overspend) or how quickly we make decisi
Episode 63: What is Empathy Burnout + 7 Ways To Cope
In This Episode: Feeling drained, foggy, or emotionally tapped out during the holidays? You're not alone. You'll learn what empathic burnout is, how it shows up in your body, and why certain times like the holiday season can increase the risk due to higher emotional exposure, shifting routines, and layered relational dynamics. Whether you're neurodivergent, highly sensitive, or just carrying too m
Episode 62: The ADHD & AuDHD Nervous System
In This Episode: Have you ever thought: "Why am I so tired all the time? Why do I feel disconnected, like I'm watching life happen but not really in it?" You probably thought something was wrong with you and didn't consider that it could be a nervous system thing. In this episode: what your nervous system actually does, what "regulation" really means (without cold plunges), and why feeling tired o
Episode 61: How To Deal with Panic Attacks Vs. AuDHD Meltdowns
In This Episode: Panic attacks and AuDHD meltdowns share some common symptoms but happen for different reasons. A panic attack is a short circuit in the nervous system and not a total sensory overload, while an autistic meltdown isn't out of nowhere — it's a total nervous system overload based on external triggers. If you are AuDHD and have panic attacks, being able to tell the difference between
Episode 60: The Importance of Routines for ADHD and My Daily Routine
In This Episode: Morning and night are the two times of day that do more to stabilize an ADHD brain than any productivity hack ever could. In this final Organize October episode, I talk about the science of how morning routines provide dopamine stabilization and evening routines need sensory cues to train our nervous system to power down. For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a se
Episode 59: 4 ADHD Cleaning Tips
In This Episode: It's Organize October and I talk about organizing how to clean your home in a way that hopefully works for you without having to "binge deep clean", how to think of cleaning as functional and make it fun, my new laundry system that helps with our impulsivity and my new obsession: the House Purse. For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only
Episode 58: ADHD Planning Tools and Systems To Organize Your Time
In This Episode: It's Organize October here on the podcast! In this episode, I'm getting into the time management, scheduling & planning methods that I've finally figured out and that actually work for me. I'll be taking you through my notebook system, time tracking, index card daily and weekly planning, time blocking method, notes app organizing and idea capturing. It's a LOT. For ad-free episode
Episode 57: An Interview With My ADHD Coach Paula Engebretson
In This Episode: I chat with my ADHD coach Paula Engebretson, host of the I'm Busy Being Awesome Podcast. Take Paula's free quiz to find out your overwhelm response type! We talk about the realities of navigating ADHD through different "seasons of life," why rigid systems rarely work, and how values, energy levels, and self-understanding need to guide how we build routines. I share my own ADHD "ro
Episode 56: Weird Habits & Traits - Is it ADHD or AuDHD? Part 3
This episode started with a simple question I asked on social media: "What's a weird habit of yours that you wonder if it's tied to your ADHD/AuDHD?" Hundreds of responses came in. This is part 3 of this three part series. In this episode the themes explored are systems and rituals around time tricks, sorting, and hyperfocus. For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free
Episode 55: Weird Habits & Traits - Is it ADHD/AuDHD? Part 2
In This Episode: It all started with a simple question I asked on social media: "What's a weird habit of yours that you wonder if it's tied to your ADHD/AuDHD?" Hundreds of responses came in. This is part 2 of this three part series. In this episode the theme is the body-based side of ADHD and AuDHD—the textures we can't stand, the stims that keep us grounded, rituals around food, the need for sym
Episode 54: Weird Habits & Traits - Is it ADHD/AuDHD? Part 1
In This Episode: It all started with a simple question I asked on social media: "What's a weird habit of yours that you wonder if it's tied to your ADHD/AuDHD?" Hundreds of responses came in. The traits or quirks that I read were hilarious, heartbreaking, and a lot were relatable to me. While these behaviors might sound random or odd, or overly specific to a neurotypical, they're loaded meaning on
Episode 53: When You Freeze In Your Free Time
In This Episode: I give advice (and information backed by neuroscience and trauma informed experts) to a Patreon subscriber who wrote a question in the chat community. The themes in this question are so relatable to us ADHD/AuDHD humans like; feeling overwhelmed when we finally have time to ourselves, freezing when it's time to make a decision, struggling to know what we actually want in the short
Episode 52: Understanding The Emotional Impact of School as ADHD/AuDHD Adults
In this episode: I am talking about an article in Psychology Today called Why Autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD Students Are Stressed at School that shines a light on a new study that shows that schools place double emotional burdens on neurodivergent students. I talk about how so many of us were overlooked for diagnosis as kids and how our emotional needs weren't being met and how we carried that emotion
✨Bonus Episode: Autistic & AuDHD Humans Do Not "Understand" Hierarchy
In This Episode: Until today this episode was Patreon only. I'm talking about the AuDHD and Autistic tendency to not be motivated by social climbing and not wanting to cooperate with workplace hierarchies. For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only episode every Friday - support Jen by subscribing to Patreon at just $7.99/mo or get 15% off if you pay annua
Episode 51: ADHD and the Power of Self-Efficacy Vs. Self-Esteem
In this episode: It's all about letting go of self-esteem as a goal. It's vague, unmeasurable, and often just makes things worse, especially for people with ADHD/AuDHD. But self-efficacy is EVERYTHING. Simply put: it's the realistic belief that you have the skills to do a task or handle a situation. Your self-efficacy can be improved (thanks to neuroplasticity) and there is irrefutable science and
Episode 50: How Hope Affects ADHD
In this episode: Most people don't associate ADHD with hope — but they should. This episode explores the science behind hope as a cognitive process. Drawing on research I look at how hope is built, how it functions in the brain, and how it can get eroded by chronic adversity, especially for people with ADHD and AuDHD. If you've been struggling with follow-through, feeling stuck, or wondering why t
Episode 49: An ADHD Guide To Cortisol and 13 Tips To Lower Your Cortisol Levels
In This Episode: Exhaustion during the day, racing thoughts at night, sleep problems, anxiety, and unexplained inflammation can all be signs of a nervous system stuck in high-alert mode. While dopamine gets most of the attention in ADHD conversations, cortisol (the body's primary stress hormone) plays a major role in how energy, focus, and fatigue are regulated. High cortisol, not low, is often be
✨Bonus Episode: And Just Like That - When A TV Show Fails ADHD
In This Episode: Permission to rant? Thank you. On this Little Pod which is available to Tier #1 and Tier #2, I'm criticizing the TV show "And Just Like That" for its bizarre portrayal of the ADHD medication shortage and how to handle a troubled teenager with ADHD. For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only episode every Friday - support Jen by subscribing
✨ Bonus Episode: Future Fantasy Is Not A Plan
In This Episode: I explain a thought-provoking concept I recently learned, the difference between having a real plan of action for a life goal versus being stuck in a future fantasy about that goal. I walk you through how being in a future fantasy is a habitual way to regulate our emotions, while actually making a plan would require being present, which can trigger dysregulation. So we avoid it. M
Episode 48: Travel Needs For The Neurodivergent
In this episode: I unpack (get it?) what it means to travel as a neurodivergent person, especially when you've internalized a bunch of rigid "rules" about what travel is supposed to look like. For a long time, I thought travel had to mean a picture-perfect vacation, and I put pressure on myself to pack light, leave comforts behind, and plan for an idealized version of my destination, rather than t
Episode 47: What is ADHD Paralysis and How Can I Overcome It?
In this episode: Have you ever felt completely frozen, staring at your project, knowing exactly what needs to get done but physically unable to begin? It's ADHD Paralysis and there are three kinds: mental paralysis, analysis paralysis, and task paralysis, all of which can lead to shutdowns. It's a neurological issue (executive functions not functioning) as well as an emotional one (a trauma respon
Episode 46: ADHD & AuDHD Workplace Accommodations - Your Rights & How To Ask
In this episode: I talk about how ADHD shows up at work, from time blindness to burnout and I go over what your rights are under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). I walk you through real-world accommodations that can make a huge difference (including remote work), how to actually ask for them without overexplaining, and I wonder about the whole concept of why we even have to ask for thing
Episode 44: From ADHD to AuDHD - My Autism Diagnosis Years Later
In this episode: I open up about my surprising Autism diagnosis last summer, which added AuDHD to my identity alongside ADHD. I share how this revelation unexpectedly tied together all the loose ends of what I'd felt was "wrong" my entire life. I also reflect on how many therapists missed what now seems like an obvious diagnosis, and why so many professionals still struggle to understand this comp
Episode 43: Debunking The NY Times Article on ADHD
In this episode: I talk about my frustration and anger at the gravely irresponsible and chock full of what seems like willful disinformation spreading article in the Sunday New York Times Magazine titled "Have We Been Thinking About ADHD All Wrong?" I let the experts speak for me and I read the intelligent analysis done by Dr. Russell Barkley and the editors of ADDitude Magazine. For ad-free episo
Episode 41: The ADHD & People Pleasing Connection
In this episode: Did anyone ever tell you that being a PEOPLE PLEASER is a core trait in ADHD/AuDHD Humans? In this episode, I'll tell you all about it. Spoiler Alert: It has to do with our coping mechanisms that we developed early on in order to avoid rejection and seeking validation from others due to our feelings of inadequacy because of our (especially undiagnosed) ADHD/AuDHD. For ad-free epis
Episode 40: How To Set Boundaries as an ADHD Adult
In this episode: ADHD/AuDHD humans often struggle with boundaries. whether it's setting them with others or even recognizing our own internal limits. We might not realize a boundary needs to be set until it's already been crossed, leaving us overwhelmed, resentful, and frustrated. I talk about how impulsivity, time management challenges, and emotional regulation difficulties all play a role in why
✨ Bonus Episode: Asperger Was A Nazi?
In This Episode: I talk about the origin of the term "Asperger's Syndrome" and why it's no longer used. The short answer: Nazis. I'm reading a book about Hans Asperger, the Austrian pediatrician who worked with the Nazis but claimed not to be one of them. To this day the idea of how "functioning" an autistic person is seems to be deeply and darkly rooted in only what their value to the workforce i
Episode 39: Skeptical of Scams & Cults
In This Episode: In response to last week's episode about reasons why ADHD/AuDHD Humans sometimes have a bigger chance of being drawn into cults, MLM's and other sketchy setups, there is an equal and opposite argument that people with ADHD/AuDHD are actually more equipped to spot scams and avoid getting sucked into cults and sketchy situations. For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts,
Episode 38: Susceptible to Cults & Scams?
In This Episode: Did you know that ADHD/AuDHD Humans have a bigger chance of being drawn into cults, MLM's and other sketchy setups? I explain why we are targets (hint: our impulsivity, need for community and outsider feelings) and talk about how to spot red flags. For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only episode every Friday - support Jen by subscribing
Episode 37: PDA - Pathological Demand Avoidance
In this episode: I go over the ins and outs of PDA; Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy. I chat about why even the simplest requests can feel like too much and how people with PDA handle those constant demands. I look at the behaviors, challenges, and some ways to work on keeping a sense of autonomy even when triggered. For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, a
Episode 35: Un-Masking Part 2
In this episode: I talk about the other side of masking which is unmasking! I explain how we can safely and consciously choose to un-mask, the risks for some of unmasking, and how we may find ourselves unconsciously unmasking as people around us say things like, "You're acting more ADHD/Autistic ever since your diagnosis." But it's not an act. It's our authentic selves coming through. For ad-free
Episode 34: Masking Part 1
In this episode: I talk about the exhausting art of masking with ADHD and/or AuDHD. I explore why so many of us feel the need to mask (both consciously and unconsciously), what the very real consequences of masking are and when it benefits those of us with ADHD. For ad-free episodes, video versions, transcripts, and a second ad-free Patreon only episode every Friday - support Jen by subscribing to
Recommended
The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament
Busted Open
Deadline: White House
Panda Show - Picante
Crickets Corner
History of the Earthquake and Fire in San Francisco
Fox news
K-Drama Obsessed Mamas | Beyond “Just One More Episode!”
True Crime Classics
The Healer Revolution
Becoming: HER with Nikki Spoelstra
Booked, Blonde & Busy w/ Olivia Ponton
