Dating While Gray™
When writer Laura Stassi’s marriage ended after nearly 30 years, she asked friends and relationship experts for advice on navigating the dating scene. On Dating While Gray, Laura shares what she’s learned: love doesn’t get easier as you get older.
Episodes
Another Dating Point of View
Laura chats with Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu, co-hosts of the Dateable podcast and authors of “How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Person and Falling in Love”; and It’s Just Lunch and 33,000 Dates founder Andrea McGinty, author of “2nd Acts: Winning Strategies for Dating Over 50.”
A Little Love Help from My AI Friend
Is artificial intelligence in your dating toolkit? After avoiding the topic, Laura explores. She talks with Igor Khalatian, tech entrepreneur and founder of Iris Dating, and gray dater Emmay, who’s using ChatGPT to help her craft flirtatious messages with potential matches.
Together and Apart: Two Updates
On the eve of Valentine’s Day, Dating While Gray continues its year-round mission of offering insights and advice on love, sex, and relationships for people of a certain age. On this episode, Laura checks in with two gray daters who previously shared their compelling true stories. Has Betty’s whirlwind, pandemic-born romance stood the test of time? Evelyn and her partner are enjoying living side b
Love Across the Divide, Part 2
Laura talks with psychotherapist Ken Page about older romance and bridging political differences in kinder and gentler ways. Plus, listeners weigh in on labels like feminist and woke. Bonus content: We hear from Jeanne Safer, author of “I Love You, But I Hate Your Politics.”
Love Across the Divide, Part 1
If romantic relationships are built on shared values, does that mean two people need to be aligned politically to have a deep connection and strong bond? In Part 1 of the Dating While Gray/APM broadcast special, Laura talks with older Americans navigating red-blue romance … some more successfully than others.
The Intentional Love Journey
Looking for a soul salve? Here it is: Four stories of romance seeking and finding, shared by show listeners. They include Anthony, who won’t let heartbreak interfere with progress; and Peter, who describes his “good enough” union in the most positive of ways.
Laura’s Podcast Pick: To See Each Other
Laura shares “A Beloved Nursing Home,” which kicks off Season 2 of tTo See Each Other. Show host George Goehl travels to Lincoln County, Wisconsin, to get to know a colorful group of people who are fighting for the future of the last remaining public nursing home in the community.
Romantic Love in Limbo
It’s the dating situation no one dares think about … until it happens to them. Laura discusses ambiguous loss and next steps with Mike, whose wife has been diagnosed with a terminal brain disease, and marriage and family therapist Linda Hershman.
The Stay-or-Go Dilemma
Is there ever a right time to end a romantic relationship – especially when there’s a lot of history involved? Chris and other listeners share their struggles, plus Laura chats with marriage and family therapist Linda Hershman about discernment counseling.
Ready, Aim, Swipe!
Dating sites and apps can be a huge time suck and overwhelmingly, users report feeling burned out. Should we trust our gut and make quick swiping decisions? Or does being more thoughtful about the process lead to love success? Laura talks strategies and outcomes with relationship coaches and online soldiers.
Listener Mailbag
Laura shares comments and questions from listeners responding to previous DWG episodes.
Love, In So Many Words
Laura chats with novelist Susan Coll about the inspiration behind her novels featuring protagonists in dysfunctional relationships. Plus, a poet captures the ups and downs of her love life, and a retired biotechnology writer turns to penning “elder erotica.”
Advice from a Sex Journalist
Using toys, getting STI tested, embracing the use-it-or-lose it mantra … Laura shares excerpts of a candid Facebook Live event with Michael Castleman, a longtime sex journalist and author, most recently, of “Sizzling Sex for Life: Everything You Need to Know to Maximize Erotic Pleasure at Any Age.”
Inside the Lives of Older Singles
The Golden Bachelorette premiere is approaching! Laura wonders if this time, the reality show will be more, you know, real. She also shares excerpts from “Beyond ‘Reality’ TV: Inside the Lives of Older Singles,” a Dating While Gray/American Public Media radio broadcast special.
Life After A Gray Divorce
In Anita's lifetime, the divorce rate for Americans over 55 has doubled. People are living longer, divorce stigma has decreased and women are more financially independent. But leaving a decades-long marriage … is a big life upheaval. Anita gets personal accounts from two gray divorcees about what it was like to rebuild their identities, finances and freedom post-divorce. They discuss money man
(Encore) Starting All Over Again
Pilot episode! Laura attends her 40th high school reunion, where her former classmates open up about their own love lives and dating strategies. Then, she revisits a man she went on a date with to get schooled on online dating and the “three-date” rule. Finally, Laura gleans inspiration from a couple who met at the apartment building where they both liv
(Encore) Pants on Fire
Can we keep the love faith while circumventing the deceivers? Security analyst Kim Key offers advice and tips on avoiding online romance scams, based on her research and reporting for PCMag. Then, Laura hears about conducting background checks on potential dating partners from listeners including Paula, who says it’s her new M.O. after her experience with a suspiciously eager love interest. Finall
(Encore) Sage Advice
Words of romance wisdom from: Writer Sophy Burnham, who offers insights based on decades of personal experience; Leora Hoffman, an attorney-turned- matchmaker who built her business while finding a partner for herself; DWG listeners; and marriage and family therapist Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of “Calling In The One" and "Conscious Uncoupling."
(Encore) Romance and Money
Laura talks with Shawn Leamon, a financial expert who usually explores money from an uncoupling point of view. Shawn offers tips and advice to Laura's other guests: Ginny, who's been so financially burned that she literally can't afford to be vulnerable; Sue, who's finding trouble meeting someone whom she considers her financial equal; and Barry, who blames his debt-free but modest
(Encore) Love in the Stars
Laura’s a Scorpio, and she reads her horoscope every morning for fun. But is there more to astrology than sun signs, and can it help us make romantic connections? Laura talks with Koku, who looks to the zodiac as a “quiet consultant” in her life. Then astrologer Leslie McGuirk says sun signs and daily horoscopes can be entertaining, but there’s a lot more to it than that. After, Laura meets with a
Speed Dating While Gray: The Happily Ever After Journey
Jerry’s in his early seventies when friends introduce him to 65-year-old, never-married Ann. They share with Laura the twists and turns of their romantic relationship.
(Encore) Dating 101: The First Date
Coach Amy Schoen returns for do’s, don’ts, and dishing with host Laura Stassi and Paulina, who can’t figure out if dating is different because she’s older, or because she’s dating Americans. What is a date, anyway? Then there’s Glyn, who offers cautionary tales about manners, and menu choices. Finally, we hear from Paula, who recounts that time she fielded a highly personal question.
Speed Dating While Gray: When A Helper Needs Help
Laura chats with Kerry, a psychotherapist whose hopes for romantic companionship are faltering.
(Encore) Boomerang Love
Who hasn’t done a little digging to find a flame from our younger years? But, as Laura discovers, taking the next steps to reach out is when things can get complicated.
(Encore) Unexpected Love
Are you starting to fret that despite all of your efforts, you’ll never find The One? Here’s a little inspiration to relax and just let it be: three stories of not seeking love, but magically finding it.
Speed Dating While Gray: The Only Ring is from a Phone
Shared mission, different game plan: Laura chats with Caitlin Pierce, creator of the reality dating show Hang Up from Radiotopia/PRX.
(Encore) Clicking, Swiping, Boosting, Super Liking
Since the first modern dating website was created in the mid-’90s, millions of people have spent a lot of time, energy and dollars. So why is the jury still out on whether technology actually leads to lasting love connections?
Speed Dating While Gray: Finding Home
Laura gets insights from Ryan Frederick, author of “Right Place, Right Time: The Ultimate Guide for Choosing a Home for the Second Half of Life.”
(Encore) Making Moves
Laura talks with Carson, whose change in relationship status sparks a cross-country move. Then, Laura hears from unlucky-in-love Albert, who wonders if it makes sense to re-establish himself somewhere other than his longtime hometown to find what he’s looking for, relationship-wise. For advice, Laura taps Bill Chopik, associate psychology professor and director of Michigan State University's C
Speed Dating While Gray: Not All Who Wander …
Laura chats with Stephanie, who’s living around the globe on a budget after divorce and retirement.
(Encore) The Older Brain on Love
Remember the PSA that aired on TV for years, with the egg and the frying pan: This is your brain, this is drugs, this is your brain on drugs? It seems like love can be a lot like that, too, even when we’re older. Why? For answers, we turn to perhaps the premier expert on the brain and love: Helen Fisher.
Speed Dating While Gray: Tell Meredith Goldstein All About It
Laura chats with one of Dating While Gray’s role models: Meredith Goldstein, Boston Globe advice columnist and host of the Love Letters podcast.
Laura’s Podcast Pick: An Arm and a Leg, The Medicare Episode
Medicare is more complicated, and expensive, than many people realize. Also, it’s not too early to start thinking about this benefit. An Arm and a Leg host Dan Weissmann gets the scoop from Sarah Jane Tribble, who’s been covering the story for KFF Health News and the Washington Post.
One Love, Two Homes
A growing number of older couples are not sharing space 24/7. It’s called living apart together, or LAT. Anthropologist Helen Fisher reveals her LAT arrangement with husband John. Then Laura chats with Vicki Larson, author of the forthcoming “LATitude: How to Make a Live Apart Together Relationship Work.” Finally, an LAT arrangement involving a duplex sparks a courtroom battle.
Smoke … and Mirrors
Ahead of the international get-high holiday of 4/20, Laura chats with cannabis researcher Dr. Peter Grinspoon. He also has thoughts about dating. Plus, the Golden Bachelor couple announced they’re getting divorced. Did you see it coming? Listeners – and Laura – have thoughts.
Anatomy of a Fall
Crystal and Dave clicked! First online, and then in real life. Are they moving too fast? Have the red flags been flying all along? Laura talks with each of them about their relationship journey.
Love Is A Family Affair
Sydney helps mom Jennifer navigate the dating apps. Widower Herb offers daughter Jen tips for a successful long-term relationship, even as bad timing keeps him apart from his longtime love. Both stories prove that the ties that bind us need not be restrictive. They can provide just the right amount of support, at just the right time.
(Encore) Speed DWG: Dyeing To Be Dateable
In the first episode of our new microcast, Speed Dating While Gray, a matchmaker makes a provocative, off-topic comment about Laura’s gray hair.
Location, Location, Location
Does the number 1 rule in real estate value also apply to finding new love? Hometown dating field reports are filed by listeners including Marina, in Denmark’s capital city; and relational coach Diana Lockett, in a ruggedly scenic part of Canada.
Maybe I Do
Listener Stacy is mulling over a marriage proposal. History and tradition suggest that’s the ultimate romantic commitment expression. But at our age, does it make financial sense? For help answering that question, Laura calls on two experts: a financial planner, and a prenup attorney.
Sex On My Mind
Maybe we’re doing it, maybe we’re not. Maybe we want to, maybe we don’t. We might be thinking about it … intimacy coach Anna Marti offers insights for all of us, plus Cate and other listeners share their concerns.
Long Leap to Love
When it comes to finding love or making a commitment, is there ever an expiration date? Laura talks with Julie, who’s been on the dating market for almost a quarter-century. Then she checks in with Clyde and Trish, who’ve chosen the slow road despite instant chemistry.
Revisiting That Other Reality Dating Show
What happens when a journalist covering the older-dating beat tries to get real about a TV show? Listeners weigh in with their opinions – about The Golden Bachelor and also, everything Laura said about it for Slate’s recap podcast.
Dating in Real Life
Longtime dating coach Damona Hoffman offers practical and optimistic insights from her book, “F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story.” Plus, listeners share their true stories about the search for love.
Trailer: Reintroducing Dating While Gray
With true stories and expert insights, host Laura Stassi continues her journalistic mission to uncover and share what it takes to make and keep new love connections in the later years of life.
Encore: What (Some) Men Want
An online encounter has Laura wondering: When it comes to older heterosexual dating, are women trying to school men? Weighing in are widower Steve, a feminist who bristles at traditional advice; and Kevin, who’s still feeling the sting of the gray divorce his wife initiated.
Encore: Love and Business
When couples mix business and pleasure, can both their romantic and work partnerships survive and thrive? Laura talks with “accidental CEO” Allison, and home-building entrepreneur Karen. This episode sponsored by Edgespace.
Encore: More Dishing on Dating
With five committed relationships in 20 years, the apps are panning out for listener Jean. Plus, two former Dating While Gray guests randomly connect online and make a dinner date. Laura tags along and then uncovers what happened afterward. Was it a love hit … or a miss?
Encore: Dishing on Dating
After counting up the romantic encounters she’s had this year, Laura asks older singles for their numbers. Tea spillers include Vinnie and Rachel; Kevin, who discovers three times is not the charm; and Allison, who widens her Zip code parameters.
Encore: It’s 420 Somewhere
A dating site profile question leads Laura to explore cannabis use among older daters. Dosages, smoking vs. ingesting, medical and bedroom benefits … listeners weigh in with their cautionary tales, tips, and true stories.
Encore: Health and Romance
Shannon’s back on the dating market, this time with the diagnosis of a gradually disabling disease. Patrice’s plans with her long-time partner are upended by a sudden health crisis. How do medical issues impact the love connections we find, and the ones we seek?
More Dishing on Dating
With five committed relationships in 20 years, the apps are panning out for listener Jean. Plus, two former Dating While Gray guests randomly connect online and make a dinner date. Laura tags along and then uncovers what happened afterward. Was it a love hit … or a miss?
Dishing on Dating
After counting up the romantic encounters she’s had this year, Laura asks older singles for their numbers. Tea spillers include Vinnie and Rachel; Kevin, who discovers three times is not the charm; and Allison, who widens her Zip code parameters.
The Golden Bachelor Recap: We All Turn on Gerry
On this final episode of our Golden Bachelor recap episode of The Waves, Gerry’s makes his decision but maybe loses the audience along the way. Podcast production by Brandon Nix and Cheyna Roth with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery.Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com.If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plu
It’s 420 Somewhere
A dating site profile question leads Laura to explore cannabis use among older daters. Dosages, smoking vs. ingesting, medical and bedroom benefits … listeners weigh in with their cautionary tales, tips, and true stories.
(Encore Episode) Custom-Built Commitment
Laura talks with legendary women's college basketball coach Elaine Elliott, whose commitment to her partner endures long after the romance is over. Then, Norm and Jeanne share the story of how they’ve built a solid partnership without mentioning the "C" word. Finally, Laura sits down with public radio icon Diane Rehm, who puts her own modern spin on a traditional choice. (From April 20
Bonus: The Golden Bachelor Recap: Fantasy Suite Edition
On this week’s episode of The Waves, Gerry’s down to two women and two potential fantasy suites. How sweet do things actually get?Podcast production by Vic Whitley-Berry and Cheyna Roth with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery.Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com.If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate
Health and Romance
Shannon’s back on the dating market, this time with the diagnosis of a gradually disabling disease. Patrice’s plans with her long-time partner are upended by a sudden health crisis. How do medical issues impact the love connections we find, and the ones we seek?
Bonus: The Golden Bachelor Recap: The Women Tell All and Mince No Words
On this week’s episode of The Waves, we get the first Women Tell All episode of The Golden Bachelor. Waves recap co-hosts Cheyna Roth and Laura Stassi have some thoughts for Gerry.Podcast production by Vic Whitley-Berry and Cheyna Roth with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery.Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com.If you enjoy this show
Love and Business
When couples mix business and pleasure, can both their romantic and work partnerships survive and thrive? Laura talks with “accidental CEO” Allison, and home-building entrepreneur Karen. This episode sponsored by Edgespace.
Bonus: Golden Bachelor Recap: Hometowns Will Always Be Cringey
On this week’s episode of The Waves, Gerry visits the hometowns of the last 3 women standing on The Golden Bachelor. Unlike hometown dates in the past, Gerry isn’t meeting the parents. Instead, he’s getting to know the women’s kids and their grandkids. But it doesn’t make the hometown dates any less cringe. Slate Senior Producer Cheyna Roth and Dating While Gray host Laura Stassi recap the episode
What (Some) Men Want
An online encounter has Laura wondering: When it comes to older heterosexual dating, are women trying to school men? Weighing in are widower Steve, a feminist who bristles at traditional advice; and Kevin, who’s still feeling the sting of the gray divorce his wife initiated.
Bonus: Golden Bachelor Recap: WTH, Gerry?!
On this week’s episode of The Waves, Golden Bachelor Gerry is rapidly approaching hometown dates and needs to narrow the pool down to three. To get there, we have a passionate one-on-one date and a high-stakes group date. Slate senior producer Cheyna Roth and Dating While Gray host Laura Stassi give their thoughts.Podcast production by Cheyna Roth and Vic Whitley-Berry with editorial oversight by
Dating, With Children
An unexpected life turn leaves mid-fifties Priya a single mother of a grade-schooler. Is it just a coincidence she’s struggling on the dating scene? Laura poses that question to researcher Lauren Harris. She reveals her study findings about dating desirability when young kids – and grandkids – are in the picture.
Bonus Episode from The Waves: The Golden Bachelor Recap: The 'D Word'
On this week’s episode of The Waves, Gerry says the D Word: Divorce. Laura Stassi, host of Dating While Gray, and Slate Senior Supervising Producer Daisy Rosario recap the fourth episode of The Golden Bachelor.Podcast production by Vic Whitley-Berry with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery.Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com.If you e
Anger Management
Bill turns to heavy metal music as he figures out a peaceful way forward after a second divorce and a health crisis. Anne is tired of feeling devastated by her split and wants to tap into some anger. Laura’s happy to lend Anne a hand -- and a baseball bat – as they visit a rage room.
Bonus Episode from The Waves: The Golden Bachelor Recap - Gerry's Crying Again
On this week’s episode of The Waves recapping The Golden Bachelor, we find Gerry in his feelings…again.Slate Senior Supervising Producer Daisy Rosario and Dating While Grey Host Laura Stassi give their thoughts on the third episode of Gerry’s journey to finding love and all the tears that go along with it.Podcast production by Vic Whitley-Berry with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia
After The End
Laura checks in with guests from previous seasons including LuAnn, who needs help with her boyfriend’s lack of awareness in the bedroom; Tim, who’s unsure what he wants in a new relationship; and Margo, a long-haul truck driver who’s ready to come off the road and find love again.
All That Glitters
Will “The Golden Bachelor’” mirror what it’s really like to be older and on the market … or will it be a hot mess? Laura chats with a “Bachelor” fan who’s also a millennial professor with a research focus on older-adult dating. Then Laura hears from Veronica, who went through the application process. Plus, Dating While Gray listeners offer their hot takes on whether the tried-and-true format will
Season 5 Trailer
Dating While Gray is back! Over 10 new episodes, Laura shares more true stories and expert advice on love and romance at age 50 and beyond ... plus, ponders if “The Golden Bachelor” is a good idea or a reality TV hot mess. Coming soon to your podcast feed – stay tuned a new episode every Thursday!
Love Seekers and Keepers
Sparks fly when Hunter and John meet at a Christmas party, though patience is needed for their love journey. An unexpected realization forces Susan and her spouse to make a relationship pivot. After happily never-married Nancy takes up tango dancing, she learns that romantic love has no limits of time, language, or distance.
Best of Friends
John and Jane click from the get-go after meeting on the dance floor, happily agreeing that being “just” friends is more than enough. When Lindsey’s seemingly perfect marriage shatters, she survives and thrives by starting a new tradition: breaking bread with her true companions. Suzanne promises Tom she’ll be by his side in sickness and in health. Their legal union unravels, but Suzanne’s commitm
Pants On Fire
Security analyst Kim Key offers advice and tips on avoiding online romance scams, based on her research and reporting for PCMag. Then, Laura hears about conducting background checks on potential dating partners from listeners including Paula, who says it’s her new M-O after her experience with a suspiciously eager love interest. Finally, journalist and “Duped” author Abby Ellin shares about uncloa
Laura’s Podcast Pick – Uncoupled: Thank U, Next
Just in time for the breakup season, aka Turkey Drop, Laura shares an encore episode from WUNC’s podcast Embodied. Host Anita Rao is joined by “Love Letters” advice columnist Meredith Goldstein and Slate advice columnist Stacia Brown. They dish out advice on topics including navigating social media after a romance ends, and what to do with physical reminders. (Ask Laura, who burned her wedding dre
The Parent Trap
After two divorces, Gia’s on the fence about getting back out there. Daughter Lauryn aims to help by sharing ideas and resources, including this podcast! Then there’s gray dater Laura, whose partner seems less than enthusiastic about moving their relationship along. Are his grown kids the reason, or an excuse? Finally, DWG host Laura Stassi and her daughter compare notes on living together while e
Dating 101: The First Date
Coach Amy Schoen returns for do’s, don’ts, and dishing with host Laura Stassi and Paulina, who can’t figure out if dating is different because she’s older, or because she’s dating Americans. What is a date, anyway? Then there’s Glyn, who offers cautionary tales about manners, and menu choices. Finally, we hear from Paula, who recounts that time she fielded a highly personal question.
Dating 101: The Online Profile
Gray dater Karen shares a dilemma that’s all too common: She’s getting attention online, but not necessarily the kind she wants. Maybe it’s her online profile? For help, Laura taps photographer Ann Maas, and dating and relationship coach Amy Schoen. They critique Karen’s photos and write-up while offering advice for all of us on the love-seeking journey. Plus, listeners – and Laura! – weigh in on
Hope After Heartbreak
On this episode, Laura talks with science journalist Florence Williams, author of “Heartbreak: A Personal and Scientific Journey.” Florence shares how the end of her long marriage sparked a health crisis and details her journey to healing – including turning to Mother Nature. We also hear from listeners who have rely on the great outdoors for help feeling better.
Great Expectations
On this episode, Laura talks with entrepreneur Rob. He’s taken a kind of statistician approach to recoupling and in the process has gathered some data dating points that may lead to a new business venture.
Then Laura chats with journalist Vicki Larson, who uncovers a surprising statistic or two in her latest book, Not Too Old For That: How Women Are Changing the Story of Aging.
Finally, Laura t
Making Moves
On this episode, Laura talks with Carson, whose change in relationship status sparked a cross-country move. Then, Laura hears from unlucky-in-love Albert, who wonders if it makes sense to re-establish himself somewhere other than his longtime hometown to find what he’s looking for, relationship-wise. For advice, Laura taps Bill Chopik, associate psychology professor and director of Michigan State
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