Sober Powered: The Neuroscience of Being Sober
This podcast explores the neuroscience behind long-term sobriety, explaining why some people relapse while others stay sober. Hosted by a former biochemist turned sober coach, it covers topics like neural recovery, emotional regulation, cognitive rewiring, and behavioral integration. Each episode blends science, psychology, and real experience to help listeners build a brain that can handle life without alcohol.
Episodes
E336: Why You Feel Like You Need Alcohol to Relax (Alcohol and Stress)
I know it feels like alcohol is required to relax. I felt that way too, but it's not. Turning off your brain at the end of the day is not the same thing as relaxing. In this episode, I’m going to explain what the research tells us about alcohol and your stress system, why short-term relief doesn’t necessarily mean drinking is helping you cope over time, and how stress can become connected
How the Sober Brain Breaks Down Alcohol Associations (But They’ll Build Back Up if You Drink Again- A Replay)
We believe alcohol is required for vacations, unwinding, dealing with stress, celebrating, and socializing. We have built up powerful associations in our brains to reinforce these beliefs through dopamine and repetition. After you get sober, facing life without alcohol can feel impossible. Everything reminds you of alcohol. You start to notice how prevalent it is on TV and in movies. In t
E335: Convincing Yourself You Can Drink Again: 2 Reasons This Happens
Many of us, myself included, get stuck in a cycle where we keep convincing ourselves we can drink again and then we’re shocked when it doesn’t go well. There are a couple of reasons why this happens, and it’s not simply because you forgot. There’s more to it. You’re not doomed to keep repeating this cycle forever.
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life
E334: Why We Resist Sobriety and What Acceptance Looks Like at Every Stage
There is a difference between knowing that you need to be sober and accepting that you need to be sober. Acceptance changes the question from “can I drink?” to “since drinking is not an option for me, what do I need now, and what am I going to do next?”
In this episode, I’m going to talk about why accepting sobriety can feel like such a loss, how resistance shows up differently when you’
E333: Understanding the Problem Isn’t the Same as Changing It
There are a few stages that we go through on the path to truly acknowledging our drinking. One of the earlier ones is when drinking feels mysterious, so the “I drank and I don’t know why” or “it’s just a bad habit” person. Another one is getting really into learning and then doing nothing with everything you learn.
I got obsessed with the science when I quit drinking. It helped me underst
High Dopamine, Low Effort Behaviors and Making Sobriety Feel Less Hard (Replay)
Your brain is wired for quick hits of dopamine, or high-reward, low-effort habits that feel good in the moment but sabotage your long-term goals. Over time, this conditions your brain to expect rewards without effort, making real change feel harder than it actually is. In this episode, I’ll explain how these patterns destroy motivation, fuel inconsistent effort, and keep you stuck in the
E332: “Am I Bad Enough?”
When you're thinking about your relationship with alcohol you may stay stuck in, "am I bad enough?" for years before taking the next step. This episode is a way to think about the question and the ambivalence of wanting to quit but also secretly hoping you can drink without the consequences someday.
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.sobe
E331: Wanting to Quit Isn’t the Same as Being Willing to Quit
There’s a difference between wanting the pain to stop and being willing to change the pattern, between wanting the benefits of sobriety and being willing to accept what sobriety requires, between saying, “I want to quit,” and actually becoming someone who protects that decision after the urgency fades. Wanting alone will keep you in the same loop if part of you still hopes that alcohol wi
E330: How to Stop Dabbling and Start Doing the Work
This is where I think people misunderstand what “doing the work” actually means. Doing the work is not just listening to sobriety content, understanding the science, or listening to people do the work in meetings. That information matters, but information alone isn’t going to change the pattern. You may have noticed how this podcast has evolved over the years. Each episode used to be a de
How Many Attempts Does it Take to Quit Drinking for Good (Replay)
I'm working hard on the last part of the dabbling series, but it's delayed by 1 week because I've been sick. Please enjoy this popular replay about how many times it takes to quit drinking for good.
Multiple quit attempts are common when you are trying to get sober, but how many tries does it take before it finally sticks? In this episode I’ll cover the statistics on relapse rates and sh
E329: What Dabbling Looked Like For Me
Story time. In the last episode, I talked about the difference between dabbling in sobriety and actually committing to it. In the next episode, I’m going to talk more about what it looks like to stop dabbling and start doing the work. But before we get there, I want to tell you a story from when I was sober curious, because this is one of the clearest examples I have of thinking I was com
E328: Why Dabbling Keeps You Stuck in the Drinking Cycle
Dabbling is when you stay close enough to sobriety to feel like you’re doing something, but not close enough for sobriety to actually change you. You listen to podcasts, follow sober accounts, make a Day 1 post. Maybe you go to a meeting. You lurk. You think about quitting. You say, “I know what I need to do.” You collect information, gather advice, and understand the problem intellectual
Self-Care is NOT Temporarily Turning Off Your Brain (Replay)
We think that turning off our brain with alcohol at the end of the day is “me time” and it’s the only way to get a break. This isn’t self-care, it’s called being depleted and trying to survive a life that drains you. Poor self-care is one of the most reliable predictors of relapse in people trying to get sober. It’s important and in this episode I’m explaining what self-care is and 5 simp
E327: The “Maybe It’ll Be Different This Time” Fantasy
One of the sneakiest thoughts in sobriety is, “Maybe I could drink differently now.” This fantasy so convincing because it uses your progress as evidence. It says, “You’re not the same person anymore. You have more tools now. You wouldn’t let it get that bad again. You could probably have one drink on vacation, or at a wedding, or on a special occasion, and be fine.”
However, you became
E326: Why Alcohol Looks Better in Your Memory Than It Was In Reality
Romanticizing alcohol can be one of the most confusing parts of sobriety because logically, you know what alcohol did to you, but your brain still makes it sound appealing. When that happens, your brain usually isn’t remembering the full drinking experience — it’s remembering the relief, the state change, and the moment before the consequences showed up. That doesn’t mean you secretly wan
E325: When the courage to quit shows up, don’t assume it will still be there tomorrow
A lot of people treat quitting drinking like it’s something they can start whenever they want. They think, “I’ll quit after this trip.” “I’ll quit after the summer.” “I’ll quit after my birthday.” “I’ll quit when work calms down.” “I’ll quit after the holidays.” “I’ll quit when I feel more ready.” or “I’ll try again tomorrow”
On the surface, that sounds reasonable. It sounds like you’re m
Running on Autopilot Mode (Replay)
Regular drinking and early sobriety often feel like living on autopilot, where we are repeating the same routines without conscious awareness. Alcohol changes the brain to increase mindless activity, which can lead to rumination, excessive self-focus, anxiety, and addiction-related thought loops. In this episode, you’ll learn about how alcohol affects the brain and puts us on autopilot, h
E324: Going to a Drinking Party 6 Years Sober: 5 Things I Noticed
I went to a drinking party over the weekend with my in-laws. The family party was by the Jersey Shore, which is a 6 hour drive from my house. I’ve described these parties in the past as marathon drinking parties, because the drinking lasts so many hours. This one was 4 hours at a restaurant, then 4 hours at someone’s house.
I think people assume that being sober around drunk people is alw
E323: Long Term Sobriety: One Tool to Use & One Trap to Look Out For
Long-term sobriety can be a strange phase because from the outside, things might look pretty good. But internally, you might still have this feeling of, “Is this it?”
And that can be really confusing because you did it. You made it past the constant cravings, the social anxiety, the awkward firsts, the nights where you had to white-knuckle your way through. So when you get a couple years
E322: Middle Sobriety: One Tool to Use & One Trap to Look Out For
Middle sobriety can be a really confusing phase because you’re not in the chaos of early sobriety anymore, but you also may not feel the way you expected to feel by now. Maybe you start thinking, “Why am I still like this?” or “Why does everyone else seem so much happier than me?” or “if sobriety is supposed to make my life better, why do I still feel bad?”
This is where a lot of people
E321: Early Sobriety: One Tool to Use & One Trap to Look Out For
When you’re in early sobriety, it can feel like you’re overthinking everything. You’re thinking about what you’re going to drink, what you’re going to say, whether you should even go to something, how you’re going to get through the night, the weekend, the next event. It can feel excessive, like you’re putting way too much thought into situations that used to feel automatic.
Your brain st
E320: No Rock Bottom? Try This Instead
Not everyone has a rock bottom moment and you can't control if and when it happens for you. In this episode, I share how you can make the decision final without waiting for it to be "that bad".
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons
E319: Why “Not Right Now” Keeps You Stuck and “Forever” Sets You Free
If you feel like you’re doing well for a while and then suddenly find yourself questioning whether you can drink again, this episode will help you understand why that keeps happening. We’re going to look at how “not right now” thinking keeps alcohol relevant in your brain and how that creates mental fatigue over time. I’ll also explain why the idea of “forever” feels so uncomfortable, but
The Geographical Cure: If Only X Would Change, Then I Wouldn’t Have to Drink So Much
A short story about how I learned what "the work" is.
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
Content only membership https://community.soberpowered.com/checkout/lessons
Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching
Weekly email:
You’ll hear from me every week-ish https://www.soberpowered
ADHD and Alcohol Use Disorder: Understanding the Link (Replay)
There are a lot of people in the sober community getting adult ADHD diagnoses, so what’s going on here? There is a strong link between struggling with ADHD and developing a problem with alcohol because just like with anxiety, trauma, or depression, alcohol can be used to self-medicate the symptoms of ADHD. In this episode you’ll learn why alcohol and ADHD are linked, what is going on in t
E318: Why Your Commitment to Sobriety Keeps Disappearing
Have you ever been completely sure you’re done drinking, and then a few hours or days later it suddenly doesn’t feel like a big deal anymore? That shift can feel confusing, even scary, like you’ve lost your commitment or changed your mind. In this episode, I’m breaking down what’s actually happening in your brain in those moments, why your thinking changes, and why it feels so real when i
E317: One Reason Some People Stay Sober and Others Don’t
A lot of people think they’re resilient because they’ve been through a lot. But if that were true, then why do the same situations keep hitting just as hard, or harder, every time? In this episode, I’m going to break down the difference between surviving something and actually becoming resilient, what’s happening in your brain when you cope by escaping, and why that pattern keeps people s
E316: The Hidden Pattern Behind Productivity, Procrastination, and People Pleasing
After getting sober many of us notice we go harder on scrolling, being productive, or people pleasing. In this episode, I want to walk you through how these behaviors are actually serving the same purpose, where they come from, what they’re doing in your brain, and why they can keep you feeling stuck even when it looks like you’re doing everything right.
Work with me:
Community &
E315: The “I’ll Deal With It Later” Trap
There’s a very specific thought pattern that keeps people stuck with drinking for years. It sounds like: “I know I should probably stop… but it’s not that bad”, “I’ll deal with it later”, “It’ll click eventually.”
And the tricky part is… those thoughts feel reasonable. There will always be a big enough stressor or a drinking event to justify delaying quitting. You’re still functioning. No
E314: Why Emotions Turn Into “I’m Stuck,” “This Will Never Change,” or “I Can’t Handle This”
We are experts at making our emotions much worse than they really are. You might feel stressed, and within a few seconds it becomes “I can’t handle this.” You feel overwhelmed, and suddenly it’s “this is too much.” You feel stuck or frustrated, and your mind goes to “this is never going to change.”
In those moments, it doesn’t feel like a thought. It feels true. It’s not just that you’re
E313: The Nervous System in Sobriety: Why You Feel Wired, Exhausted, or Overwhelmed, and How Regulation Returns
A lot of people quit drinking expecting to feel calmer. You think sobriety is going to reduce anxiety, improve sleep, and make life feel more stable. It does… eventually. But for a while, many people experience the opposite. You feel on edge for no clear reason. Small things overwhelm you. You’re exhausted but can’t fully relax. Your sleep is inconsistent, your emotions are intense, and s
E312: Ambivalence in Early and Long Term Sobriety
You can know alcohol is hurting you. You can want to quit. You can be exhausted by the consequences. And then still drink. In this episode, we’re talking about ambivalence: what it actually is in the brain, why negative consequences don’t always make us change, and how drinking shifts decision-making from intentional to automatic. I’ll also discuss how ambivalence can creep back in long a
Cravings Increase After Quitting Drinking and Peak Around 60 Days Sober and 6 Months Sober (Replay)
You probably expect that the more sober time you have, the less you crave alcohol. That’s true for some people, but others experience an effect called incubation of craving. This is where cravings build up over time and peak around 60 days, then again around 6 months sober. In this episode, I’ll explain the research on incubation of craving, what you might experience, why this happens, an
E311: Sugar Cravings in Sobriety: When Comfort Becomes a Crutch
Sugar cravings in early sobriety make sense. What many of us don’t expect is still needing something sweet months or even years later. In this episode, we’re going to unpack why that happens, what sugar is really doing for your nervous system, and why this phase has less to do with food and more to do with healing.
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Lif
E310: Emotional Sobriety: Why Quitting Drinking Isn’t Enough
When I quit drinking, I didn’t realize how emotionally immature I was, or how much alcohol had been doing for me behind the scenes. In this episode, I talk about why removing alcohol can make emotions feel (more) unbearable at first, how years of emotional avoidance catch up to us in sobriety, and why this phase puts people at risk for relapse. We’ll also talk about what emotional sobriet
E309: Early Sobriety Fatigue: What’s Actually Happening in Your Brain
If you’re sober but still exhausted, foggy, or struggling to think clearly, it’s not random. Early sobriety fatigue has very real causes, from changes in brain energy utilization to sleep disruption and structural recovery. In this episode, I explain what the research actually shows about how the brain heals after alcohol, why recovery happens in layers, and what that means for how you fe
E308: Does Dry January Actually Change People’s Drinking Habits? What the Research Says
A lot of people do Dry January hoping it will reset their relationship with alcohol, and then feel confused or discouraged when it doesn’t. Dry January works, just not in the way most people think it does. If you’ve ever taken a 30, 90, or even year-long break from drinking, felt better, and then slowly slid back into the same patterns, this episode will explain why. We’ll talk about why
How the Brain Recovers After Quitting Drinking From 1 Day to 7 Years (Replay)
Did we blast our brains beyond repair with all of our drinking? What if you drank heavily for decades? Are you doomed? In this episode I’m explaining a ton of different studies on brain recovery in sobriety. You’ll learn what to expect as you get more sober time, if our brains make a full recovery, how long it takes to see improvement, how drinking less impacts your brain, and more about
The Witching Hour Without Booze: What’s Happening in the Brain Between 5–9 PM
The witching hour, or usually hours for most of us, are the time of day where you typically drink and want to drink the most when you’re sober. This could be morning for some people, it could be 4-7pm, 6-8pm, it varies. This time block is when your biology, habits, and old reward wiring collide: cortisol is dropping, your prefrontal cortex has less decision bandwidth, and your brain is sc
Health Benefits of Dry January: What to Expect
A 30-day break from alcohol changes multiple systems at once: metabolic, cardiovascular, neurological, and behavioral. In this episode, I’m summarizing what the research says about the benefits people commonly experience, including sleep, energy, liver fat, and drink-refusal self-efficacy. I’ll explain what improves early, what takes longer, and what predicts real behavior change beyond t
How to do Dry January Differently This Year With Casey Davidson and Suzanne Warye
Stop doing the hardest part over and over again. In this episode, Casey, Suzanne and I discuss our advice for making sobriety stick and the mistakes we've observed people making over the years.
Connect with Casey: https://hellosomedaycoaching.com/
Connect with Suzanne: https://thesobermomlife.com/
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.sob
E307: 4 Biggest Challenges People Struggle With During Dry January & How to Deal
It’s Dry January and whether you’re participating for the first time, the 3rd time, or you’re working towards long term sobriety, then there are some things that most people struggle with. You may not struggle with all of these things, but it’s good to be prepared just in case. In this episode we’ll review 4 different challenges you may face and I’ll help you come up with a plan to deal w
E306: The Sobriety Audit: What Changed This Year (And What Didn’t)
It’s almost New Year, New Me time and before you make plans and goals for 2026, I’d love to walk you through a sobriety audit to evaluate how far you’ve come over the past year. In this episode I’ll guide you through an audit of your identity shift to becoming a person who doesn’t drink, you’re emotional growth and skill development, and help you recognize any signs of drifting backwards
6 Ways to Protect Your Energy During the Holidays
Holiday overwhelm isn’t about being weak, it’s about carrying more emotional weight with fewer internal resources. In this episode, I walk you through simple ways to stay regulated when the pressure builds. You’ll learn how to reduce emotional overload, recover faster from overstimulation, and navigate challenging environments and people.
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Livin
E305: Why the Holidays Create Tons of Stress & One Helpful Tool to Stay Regulated
The holidays create the perfect storm for stress and emotional reactivity in sobriety. Your reward system may still be healing, your stress circuitry is more sensitive, your routine is disrupted, and old family roles and comparisons drain your patience fast. Most importantly, I teach you how to regulate before the stress hits so you’re not constantly trying to recover from emotional overl
E304: Family Dynamics, the Relapse Mindset, and 7 Drinking Permission Slips We Create to Ease the Tension
Family interactions can trigger the relapse mindset long before cravings show up. You’ll learn how old emotional roles, deep shame pathways, and the brain’s threat-prediction system pull you back into survival mode and why alcohol becomes the remembered shortcut for relief. I break down seven internal permission slips that fuel relapse thinking and the emotional chain reaction behind them
E303: “I Should Be Further Along By Now”
This fear hits so many people between 6–18 months sober. In this episode, we’ll look at the deeper roots of this thought: identity lag, internalized criticism, perfectionism, shame, and the brain’s inability to feel progress early on. I break down why everything feels slow, and why “being behind” is almost never about sobriety itself. This episode helps you understand what’s really going
Non-Alcoholic Drinks: The Pros and Cons (Rebroadcast)
Non-alcoholic drinks and mocktails are very popular, but are they good for your sobriety? In this episode I’ll explain both sides of the argument- how they can be helpful for your sobriety and how they can be triggering, cause cravings, or hold you back. You’ll learn if 0.5% non-alcoholic drinks are okay to drink and why you may get the feeling of a fake buzz when you consume alcohol-free
E302: Feeling Like a Normal Person Again After 8-10 Months
A lot of clients will tell me that they feel like a normal person again. This isn’t a random occurrence, there are 4 very real changes that are happening to the brain during the healing process that allow you to feel normal eventually. In this episode I’ll describe this milestone and 4 changes that make it possible.
If you enjoy learning about timelines, then there is a detailed timeline
E301: The Self-Worth Ceiling: How Low Self-Esteem Fuels Self-Sabotage
If you think you’re a loser and a failure, then you’re going to behave in ways that confirm these beliefs. We all have beliefs about our inherent worth and what we deserve, and when life starts getting too good, we’ll self-sabotage to bring ourselves back down. In this episode, I’ll explain the self-worth ceiling and where this comes from so you can get some insight on your own motivation
E300: How Problem Drinking Develops and Escalates
How do you know if you’re someone who needs to get sober for good or if you’re just going through a phase? In this episode, I’ll share about how my drinking progressed over the years and a lot of research about how drinking motives differ in problem drinkers vs take it or leave it drinkers, how being sober curious progresses problematic drinking, and how putting your brain through multipl
E299: Social Drinking: Drinking to Fit In
Social drinking feels harmless. Everyone does it right? There’s a difference between using alcohol to socialize and using it to force fitting in and feeling comfortable. In this episode you’ll learn more about the motive of drinking to socialize, how this makes it difficult to quit drinking, and some shifts you can make in sobriety to make socializing easier.
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Community
E298: Coping Drinking: Drinking to Feel Less
One of the first things I learned about drinking was that when adults are stressed, they drink, and the stress goes away. As a high stress person, it made perfect sense to me to start drinking every day to manage my stress. This is coping drinking in action. Drinking didn’t help me manage anything. It delayed my problems and allowed them to get worse. In this episode you’ll learn why alco
E297: Enhancement Drinking: Drinking to Feel More
When we think about quitting drinking one of the first things we think about is the loss of fun, socializing, and drinking on vacation. Drinking to enhance is all about using alcohol to feel more or to make the good vibes last longer. In this episode, I’ll explain why we use alcohol as an enhancer, how the brain adapts, and why this makes regular life feel dull when we try to stay sober.
E296: The Science of Why We Drink: An Overview of Drinking Motives
I drink to have fun and socialize, I tell myself as I try to rationalize why I don’t have to quit drinking. Except “fun” and “socializing” looks like getting drunk on the coach with my husband and then staying up alone drinking more. It’s much easier to say I’m a wine connoisseur who enjoys the taste instead of I can’t cope with my emotions. In this episode, I’m discussing drinking motive
I Learned to Swim in My 30's!
I took adult swim lessons for the past 2 months and in this episode I'm sharing about why I decided to finally learn how to swim, what it was like, and how pursuing goals changes the longer we stay sober.
What to listen to next:
E227: My 200 lb Deadlift
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
Sober coaching https
E295: The Feeling of Lost Time From All the Years We Spent Drinking
I’ve been wanting to make this episode for years, but I felt like it would be offensive if I talked about how I struggled with feeling like I wasted years of my life drinking because I quit at 29 and I know most people quit way later. I finally decided to move forward with this because I noticed an interesting trend in the people I work with. In this episode, we’ll talk about why the sens
E294: Why Stress and Emotions Feel Intolerable Without Alcohol
Emotional reactivity is one of the biggest roadblocks to staying sober. For many of us, our brain’s alarm system has been rewired by years of drinking to overreact to even the smallest stressors, making ordinary problems feel like catastrophes. In this episode, we’ll break down the science of why that happens, from amygdala hyperactivity to weakened prefrontal regulation, and how alcohol
E294: Why Stress and Emotions Feel Intolerable Without Alcohol
Emotional reactivity is one of the biggest roadblocks to staying sober. For many of us, our brain’s alarm system has been rewired by years of drinking to overreact to even the smallest stressors, making ordinary problems feel like catastrophes. In this episode, we’ll break down the science of why that happens, from amygdala hyperactivity to weakened prefrontal regulation, and how alcohol
Why Shame Blocks Change
Guilt says “I did something wrong.” Shame says “I am wrong.” It feels like proof that you’re a weak-willed loser with no self-control when you keep drinking even though you said you wouldn’t or you drink more than you intended. That’s shame talking. The real truth is it’s proof that you need a different approach and that you’re lacking coping skills and the ability to be flexible in your
E293: Tolerance and the Disappearing Buzz
Have you ever thought back to the early days of your drinking and remembered how just one or two drinks gave you exactly what you wanted? That light, carefree buzz—the feeling that you were relaxed, loosened up, and maybe even a little funnier. Fast forward a few years, and suddenly those same two drinks barely register. You start chasing it—three, four, maybe more—and before you know it,
E292: Why One Drink is Never Enough
Have you ever promised yourself you’d only have one drink? Maybe it was at dinner, or after work—you told yourself, “Just one, that’s it.” But once that drink was gone, something shifted. Instead of feeling satisfied, you found yourself wanting another. And another. It can feel frustrating, even confusing. What’s wrong with me? Why can other people leave some alcohol behind in their glass
E291: Why You May Still Crave Alcohol Long Term, and Why No Cravings Doesn’t Mean You’re “Cured”
We tend to think of cravings as the enemy in sobriety. If you still want to drink, it must mean you’re doing something wrong. And on the other side, if the cravings go away, it’s tempting to think you’re finally “cured.” Cravings are not a sign of weakness, and the absence of cravings doesn’t mean you’re going to be a special occasion drinker. They’re both just snapshots of what’s happeni
Thinking About Drinking Constantly, Then Thinking About Sobriety Constantly
Obsessing over our drinking is very frustrating and it takes over our lives. There is so much more to life than worrying about alcohol. When you get sober, it can be equally frustrating to obsess over sobriety. In this episode, I discuss getting space from thinking about it all the time, some reasons why we constantly think about it, and all the cool things I've done with my space and men
E290: How to Quit Drinking Without Hitting Rock Bottom
A rock bottom moment isn’t required to get sober, although it obviously helps. We have no control over what will be our rock bottom, and often we stack consequences for a long time before enough is finally enough. In this episode I discuss what to do if you haven’t had a rock bottom yet. You’ll learn about 3 key things I’ve noticed that dabblers do that prevent them from getting sober for
The Most Important Thinking Shift I Made in Sobriety
Quitting drinking doesn’t automatically change how you think, it just removes the numbing. For many of us, that means we’re left with a mind that defaults to worst-case scenarios, criticism, and hopelessness. Sobriety gives you a chance to rewire negative thought patterns, but only if you’re aware of them and actively work to change them. In this episode I discuss the shift from defaultin
E289: Emotional Tunnel Vision: When Little Problems are a Big Deal
In sobriety our brains are still stuck in survival mode. We zoom in on small problems, assume they’re huge, and feel overwhelmed by everyday stressors. Minor stressors make our lives grind to a halt. But with time, our thinking shifts and we learn the skills we need to zoom out. In this episode, I’ll explain where this tunnel vision comes from, what it looks like while you’re working on t
E288: How to “Sit With It” Without Avoiding, Suppressing, Ruminating, or Escaping
Learning to manage emotions is one of the most difficult parts of sobriety. Many people don’t think they were drinking to cope, only to find out once they try to quit that they were. When I was drinking and in the first couple of years of sobriety, I used to make things more difficult for myself because I couldn’t manage emotions. I would ruminate, avoid, or escape with other self-destruc
E287: Are You “Strong Enough” or Just Stubborn? (Self-Control & Willpower)
When we think about getting sober, most of the focus is on not drinking, but we don’t think about what to start doing to actually rewire the brain and move forward. In this episode, I’ll explain why white-knuckling doesn’t work. You’ll learn about why willpower is not the most important factor for staying sober, how being “strong” prevents us from getting support, and what you can do diff
5 Year Podversary Q&A (E286 Part 2)
Join me for a special Q&A episode. We talk about my story, my work, my gaming history, book writing, what I've noticed in the sober community, and more! Thanks to everyone who submitted questions
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching
Weekly ema
E286: How This Podcast Changed My Life (Happy 5 Years to Sober Powered)
On June 25, 2020 I decided to start this podcast. You’ll learn the story of how this podcast started, how it’s changed my sobriety, how it’s changed me professionally, how it’s helped me do my own “work”, and some of the hurtful things people have said to me over the years. I want to share about the shifts I’ve had to make to sustain being a public person. These are, addressing my addicti
E285: How Exercise Helps Your Brain and Body Heal From Alcohol (and How to Get Started)
Besides not drinking, one of the simplest ways to heal the damage left behind from your drinking days is to exercise consistently. In this episode, I’ll explain how exercise helps to heal the body and brain, specific types of exercise that are beneficial, and how exercise can increase the likelihood that you’ll resist cravings and stay sober. You’ll learn 5 ways to get started if making e
E284: Reward Substitution: Healthy vs. Harmful Replacements for Alcohol
When we quit drinking, it’s pretty common to pick up another crutch or transfer the addiction to something else like food, work, cannabis, shopping, etc. Your brain still wants comfort, relief, stimulation, and escape and it’s easy to use other methods of relief instead of doing the emotional work and not needing relief. In this episode, I discuss the desire to replace alcohol with someth
E283: Alcohol Shortens Your Perception of Time (Instant Gratification)
Learning to put effort into our lives, be patient, and not rely on instant gratification is challenging. Alcohol teaches us that we can have what we want immediately and with no effort. Real life doesn’t work that way. In this episode, I explain alcohol myopia, which is how alcohol narrows our focus and prevents us from accurately thinking about the future. You’ll learn about how your bra
E282: Minimizing, Rationalizing, and the Myth of “I Wasn’t That Bad”
Maybe your drinking isn’t/wasn’t that bad, but does that mean it’s good? If you don’t truly face what you’re doing, then how can you expect to change and move forward? In this episode, we dig into the psychological tricks we use to protect ourselves from the truth about our drinking- minimizing, rationalizing, and rewriting the past. I explain how cognitive dissonance, memory decay, and e
E281: Why Your Brain Makes Drinking Look Better Than It Was
When the sun comes out, so do the memories of “fun” drinking days, but are those memories even accurate? In this episode, I break down how your brain edits the past to make alcohol look better than it really was. I’ll explain how dopamine, emotional memory, and the fading affect bias distort your perception of your drinking life, and why the “good times” are often more fantasy than fact.
E280: Romanticizing Alcohol: What’s Going on in Your Brain
Are these harmless thoughts or do they lead to relapse? In this episode you’ll learn what is going on in your brain when you romanticize alcohol, how this can make being sober more challenging, and 3 ways to break the romanticizing loop. I’ll share a story from 4 years ago about when I romanticized alcohol, how I used tools, and what that same situation would look like today.
What to list
E279: The Pendulum Effect of Healing
When we start doing “the work”, it’s normal for your behavior to swing hard in the other direction. Emotions become more intense, old memories flood back, or you may feel like everyone needs to know how they’ve wronged you. This is the pendulum effect. We are learning how to do life without alcohol, and that process takes experimentation. In this episode, I explain why the pendulum effect
E278: Intrusive Thoughts About Drinking When You’re Already Sober & 3 Ways to Deal
We’re used to intrusive thoughts about drinking while we’re trying to quit and in the early days, but these thoughts can continue to pop up months or even years later. Does this mean you’re on the path to relapse? In this episode I’ll explain where intrusive thoughts about drinking come from and 3 strategies to deal with them. You’ll learn the 4 most common times when someone thinks about
E277: Being Willing to Start is the Hardest Part (“The Work”)
I thought getting sober was the end of the story. I did it, I succeeded, now life will be amazing forever. But the parade never came. Instead, I started to get uncomfortable and notice patterns in my behavior that I didn’t like, and without alcohol around, I couldn’t unsee it. This is where a lot of people fall off. Their work begins to show up, it gets uncomfortable, and instead of facin
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