Home Podcasts Codependency Alchemy: The Podcast
Codependency Alchemy: The Podcast

Codependency Alchemy: The Podcast

Alyssa Zander 121 Episodes Aug 19, 2026

Codependency Alchemy is a space for healing codependency through shadow work and inner child healing. Join Alyssa for the vulnerable conversations, personal stories, and hard truths that help you reclaim your voice, set soul-aligned boundaries, and create relationships rooted in self-trust and authenticity.

Episodes

The push-pull pattern you don’t realize you’re creating (and why it keeps happening)
The push-pull pattern you don’t realize you’re creating (and why it keeps happening) Aug 19, 2026 1285 Have you ever chased connection until you felt rejected one too many times... and then suddenly found yourself pulling away?In this episode, we’re exploring the push-pull pattern that happens when our attempts to feel safe accidentally keep the cycle going. I’m sharing how I learned to use distance to get connection, why we can move between chasing and withdrawing, and the question that helped me
The cheat code that changed my relationship with myself
The cheat code that changed my relationship with myself Aug 5, 2026 1901 Have you ever had one of those days where you just don't feel like yourself?Maybe you're more emotional, more sensitive, or more irritable than usual, and your first instinct is to wonder what's wrong with you.In this episode, I'm sharing the simple practice that completely changed my relationship with myself. It helped me stop judging my emotions, recognize my patterns, and communicate my needs w
When jealousy shows up (even when you trust your partner)
When jealousy shows up (even when you trust your partner) Jul 22, 2026 1676 Have you ever felt jealous in your relationship... even though you genuinely trust your partner? In this episode, I’m sharing one of the most vulnerable stories I’ve told on the podcast.A moment with Justin that brought up unexpected jealousy, led to one of the biggest ruptures we’ve experienced, and ultimately taught me that jealousy is rarely about what we think it’s about.Together, we’ll explor
The real reason you can't let go of your ex
The real reason you can't let go of your ex Jul 8, 2026 1511 Have you ever felt like you couldn’t let go of someone even though you knew the relationship was over? In this episode, I share one of the most powerful shadow work questions I’ve ever used to help uncover why it’s so difficult to move on after a relationship ends.Together we’ll explore:* why we attach our dreams to people* how codependency keeps us trying to control the outcome* what it really me
What if the pattern isn’t the problem?
What if the pattern isn’t the problem? Jun 17, 2026 1449 Have you ever caught yourself spiraling and thought, "Why am I doing this again?" This episode is about what happens when we stop trying to get rid of the pattern and start listening to what it's trying to tell us.We explore why self-sabotage isn't actually the problem, how triggers point us toward unmet needs, and the powerful question that can completely change the way you relate to your pattern
Why you feel the need to fill the space in relationships
Why you feel the need to fill the space in relationships Jun 3, 2026 1753 Why does silence feel so uncomfortable in relationships?In this episode of Codependency Alchemy, I explore the hidden reason many of us rush to fill the space when our partner gets quiet, withdrawn, or dysregulated.In this episode, we explore:- Why silence feels triggering- The urge to seek reassurance- External vs. internal processors- How space creates deeper connection- Emotional regulation in
The “loving” relationship pattern that’s actually hurting you
The “loving” relationship pattern that’s actually hurting you May 20, 2026 2085 Have you ever done something “nice” for someone… but secretly felt exhausted, resentful, or unseen afterward? This episode is about the hidden relationship dynamic underneath that pattern.After a conversation with my grandma about boundaries, family dynamics, and generational relationship patterns, I realized how many of us confuse self-sacrifice with love.In this episode, we explore the subtle wa
Why it’s so hard to receive support (even when you need it)
Why it’s so hard to receive support (even when you need it) May 6, 2026 2102 Have you ever pushed away support… even when you really needed it? This episode is about why receiving can feel so hard and what changes when we allow it.This episode is a little different. I’m showing up in real time, without a script, in the middle of a season that has completely shifted me.After losing a close friend and navigating multiple family health scares and loss, I found myself face to
The trust-breaking pattern you don’t realize you’re doing in relationships
The trust-breaking pattern you don’t realize you’re doing in relationships Apr 1, 2026 1442 Have you ever wanted something from your partner but didn’t actually say it? This episode is about why we do that and how it slowly breaks trust in our relationships.This weekend, I caught myself in a pattern I’ve done many times before, and didn’t even realize I was doing it in the moment.I was trying to get a need met without actually saying what I needed.I was hinting, sweetening the deal, leav
3 questions that turn conflict into connection
3 questions that turn conflict into connection Mar 18, 2026 1517 Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “If they would just do this differently, everything would be fine”?This episode is about why that pattern keeps us stuck and the three questions that can shift the entire dynamic- and how it's completely changed the way I move through conflict in my relationship.In this episode we explore:* Why we hyperfixate on our partner during conflict* The hidden attach
Why you pick fights when things are going well
Why you pick fights when things are going well Mar 4, 2026 1519 Why do we create conflict when life is actually going well?In this episode of Codependency Alchemy, I unpack the “upper limit problem” — the unconscious pattern of sabotaging joy, abundance, and peace when they start to feel unfamiliar.I share a real story of catching myself mid-spiral after an expansive workshop and the simple question that stopped me from creating unnecessary conflict.In this ep
Knowing what you want but still not getting it? This might be why
Knowing what you want but still not getting it? This might be why Feb 18, 2026 758 You’re clear on what you want, so why aren’t you getting it?There’s a painful in-between many of us find ourselves in: knowing what we want, and still not receiving it.In this episode of Codependency Alchemy, I revisit a simple but powerful analogy (we’re going to the ice cream shop) to explore why clarity alone isn’t always enough, and how settling for what doesn’t truly align can keep us stuck i

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