Home Podcasts The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno
The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno

The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno

Julie Menanno 61 Episodes Jun 30, 2026

The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno offers real-time couples therapy sessions using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Julie Menanno, a licensed therapist, works with actual couples facing everyday challenges like parenting, career stress, and relationship issues. Each episode explores attachment theory to help listeners understand and break negative communication cycles. The podcast provides practical insights and steps for building healthier, more secure relationships.

Episodes

S3 | Session 18: Slowing Down the TEMPO to Co-Regulation (Season Finale) Jun 30, 2026 01:16:16 Today is our season three finale . It has been an absolute privilege watching Rachel and Mike untangle their negative cycles, and they open today's session with the ultimate proof that the work is paying off . When a major trigger hit just two nights ago, the script flipped entirely . Instead of his typical silent shutdown and her sharp tongue, Mike paused and shared the vulnerable feelings he
S3 | Session 17: Fear of the Goodness: Navigating Peace After Relationship Chaos Jun 23, 2026 01:27:11 The feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop is universal. When your nervous system is deeply accustomed to chaos, peace can actually feel scary and alarming because it brings up fears of losing what feels so good.  As we near the end of our time with Rachel and Mike, they are finally finding real stability. Mike has been stepping up in wonderfully subtle ways, intentionally checking in durin
S3 | Session 16: Too Sensitive? Healing the Belief That You Are Defective Jun 16, 2026 51:16 Have you ever tried to set a boundary or express that you were uncomfortable only to be told that you're just being too sensitive or a stick in the mud? You know, when you hear that enough times, you stop trusting your own gut and start believing that maybe you are the problem. Today we dive deep into that exact wound with Rachel. We trace her deep-seated belief that she's defective back to its ro
S3 | Session 15: Two People Overboard: The Co-Regulation Conundrum Jun 9, 2026 46:32 We can do all the heavy lifting in therapy, but sometimes life just throws too much at us at once. Between the holidays, chaotic work schedules, and general exhaustion, Rachel and Mike recently hit a wall, slipping off the tracks into a tough two-week period of disconnection. When catching up on the setback, Rachel shares a powerful analogy: normally, if she jumps off the dock, she needs Mike to s
S3 | Session 14: The Burden of the Poker Face: How Hiding Stress Hurts Your Marriage May 26, 2026 01:25:28 Mike recently received some great news about a major work project, but instead of celebrating, he admits to Rachel that he is quietly carrying a massive amount of pressure behind his "professional poker face". In this session, we trace this habit of emotional isolation straight back to its origin. We discover that when Mike struggled as a child, his parents' anxiety would spike, teaching him the p
S3 | Session 13: Always Second Place: Fighting to Be Your Partner's Priority May 19, 2026 01:15:11 Today, we see what happens when Mike's loyalty to his family leaves Rachel feeling like she is "last on the list". When Rachel feels unprotected, she tries to handle her pain with logic, presenting evidence and hoping Mike will rationally agree with her. But as we discuss today, logic alone does not heal an attachment wound. Meanwhile, we finally uncover why Mike feels so compelled to manage every
S3 | Session 12: Between a Rock and a Hard Place: The Cost of "Going With the Flow" May 12, 2026 01:06:32 Doing real emotional work is physically exhausting. When Mike logs on for this session, the very first thing he shares is that he feels completely "taxed and jumbled". He is asking his brain to operate in an emotional language it was never taught to speak. Today, we trace that language barrier straight back to its origin. We dive into Mike's family history, examining the impact of a grandfather wh
S3 | Session 11: You Can't Problem Solve Your Way Out of Pain May 5, 2026 01:06:31 When your partner is hurting, what is your immediate instinct? For most of us, it's to grab a toolbox. We want to solve the problem, clear up the misunderstanding, or offer the perfectly logical explanation that will make the pain go away. But what if the urge to fix the problem is actually just a disguised attempt to escape our own discomfort? If you've been listening this season, you know Mike u
S3 | Session 10: Why It Feels So Hard to Ask Your Partner for Help Apr 28, 2026 52:41 We are picking right back up with Rachel and Mike. Following Mike's admission of withholding the truth, Rachel is experiencing a very healthy, righteous anger. But today, we pivot away from blaming Mike's behavior and guide Rachel directly into her own vulnerability. We uncover a heartbreaking core belief: Rachel is terrified to let Mike help her because her life experiences have taught her that "
S3 | Session 9: Resetting the TEMPO & Two Big Lies Apr 21, 2026 54:25 Think about a time you caught your partner withholding the truth. If you've been there, you know the actual lie is only half the battle; the other half is the agonizing feeling of thinking you might be going crazy. Today, we tackle one of the most difficult hurdles in any relationship: broken trust. Recently, Rachel's intuition flared up over a situation, and she pressed Mike for the truth, which
S3 | Session 8: When Your Partner Makes Decisions Without You Apr 14, 2026 51:02 We are picking right back up with Rachel and Mike. Today, we revisit a highly charged memory that perfectly illustrates their negative cycle: a unilateral family decision made during a massive winter storm that completely brushed past Rachel's fierce reservations. For a widow who has already lived through losing a spouse, this wasn't just a disagreement about driving conditions—it was a life-or-de
S3 | Session 7: What Will Life Look Like if This Relationship Ends? Apr 7, 2026 54:46 Think about a time you brought a really important concern to your partner, only to feel completely dismissed. When that happens over and over, you eventually stop bringing things up—not because the problem is solved, but because the pain of being unheard is just too heavy to keep risking. That is exactly where we find Rachel today. Recently, Rachel's daughter came to her feeling like some recent s

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