Dire Straights
A feminist podcast critiquing heterosexual love, sex, politics, and culture.
Episodes
Talking with boys about consent is not enough
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.comOne of the popular sentiments that has been going around in response to the Cornell 7 case is, essentially: “Stop teaching girls how to protect themselves. Teach boys not to rape.” Now, in this episode, we want to take a serious look at this suggestion—because we agree. The onus is put on girls to “stay safe out
Cornell reminds us that the root of women’s heteropessimism is fear
Today we're talking about the emerging feminist response to the Cornell rape case online, from urging moms to do better at raising boys to banning frats to getting glocks.Women are exhausted, angry, and heartbroken by this latest example of men’s institutionalized violence against women—not to mention the total lack of accountability the case highlights. In this episode, we get into what happens t
AI can't fix straight men
What is AI doing to straight people?Capitalism has found yet another way to profit off patriarchal dissatisfaction. Tech companies have been working overtime to sell us new uses for AI, the tech no one asked for, and now they’re coming for hetero relationships, claiming AI has the answer to domestic inequality, men’s weaponized incompetence, a fraught dating scene, and more.In this episode, we tal
Feminist dating strategies
Welcome to part two of our look at the dire state of dating apps.In the last episode, Amanda reported back on her own experiences this summer exploring online dating for the first time since her divorce. Now, we’re considering common red flags—from gym selfies to men who advertise their height to dudes looking for “women who take care of themselves.”We also debate popular strategies for navigating
Getting on the apps as a woman in midlife
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.comWelcome to part one of our look at the dire state of dating apps.In this very special episode, Amanda reports back on her own experiences this summer exploring online dating for the first time since she became single—and ever in her life.We get into what it’s actually like to be a woman on the apps in this cultur
Are feminists "anti-family"?
Today we’re digging into an age-old question along the lines of has feminism ruined the workplace? and has feminism pushed men into the manosphere? and did feminism get Trump elected?We gathered a roundtable of people who are pro-marriage and anti-divorce who don’t believe women should have any rights. We’re calling this conversation, Did feminism ruin the family?JK. More seriously, this episode a
The sexual awakening that ends a marriage
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.comThanks to everyone who tuned into our Substack Live.This week, Tracy was joined by a special guest: Myisha Battle, a feminist sex and dating coach, and author of the newly released book Sexual Pleasure for Dummies. It’s an inclusive, empathetic, and nuanced look at the role pleasure plays in our lives—and all the
They sent my mom away to become a good wife
Tracy’s newest book, My Mother’s Daughter: Finding Myself in My Family’s Fractured Past, is out May 5th! It’s a memoir about how a DNA test connected Tracy with her sister Kathy, who her mom placed for adoption at a home for unwed mothers in the sixties. She set out to understand their mom’s past and stumbled on a bigger story about shame, family secrets, race, and the control of women’s bodies.In
Why is feminism being blamed for everything?
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.comIt’s not just the manosphere, MAGA, TERFs, or reactionary feminists who are hating on “2010s feminism” right now. Increasingly, liberals and centrists are getting in on the action.This growing feminist backlash claims that feminism has gone too far. That women have been made unhappy by progressive propaganda. Tha
Jeffrey Epstein, Les Wexner, and the 90s mall
Remember the 90s? The Spice Girls were singing about girl power, and Britney Spears was asking someone to hit her one more time. Amanda was shopping at the Limited Too at the Sherman Oaks Galleria, while Tracy was sporting her Bebe shirt at a Bay Area mall, and possibly almost getting sex trafficked.Behind the scenes, Les Wexner was cooking up the Victoria’s Secret Angels campaign, soon to be foll
The anti-feminist conspiracy to make women need men
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.comThe right-wing really wants women to need men.Maybe you’ve heard: Earlier this year, The Heritage Foundation—the same ghouls who brought us Project 2025—released what they’re calling a blueprint for America’s next 250 years. It’s titled “Saving America by Saving the Family.”Of course, this report isn’t about savi
The definitive feminist history of the wine mom
Whether you believe all wine moms are members of ANTIFA or that they’re just apolitical white ladies with too much rosé all day, it’s irrefutable that drunk and high mommies have a long, loaded cultural and political history.Centuries before mommy juice and Mom Water™, before the Bad Moms movies and the giant wine glass memes, moms were getting high to escape the crushing demands of marriage and m
The Hetero State of the Union
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.comThanks to everyone who tuned into our Substack Live.We started with a debrief of last night’s State of the Union. If you didn’t watch: Congrats. Let us recap for you.Just a few topics we touched on:* Trump as Daddy Protector of Patriarchy (also: a leering creep)* That bombshell NPR report on the DOJ withholding f
Is porn a scapegoat for patriarchy?
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.comThe adult industry has turned into a popular scapegoat for nearly every problem in hetero life and culture right now. Pornography is blamed for everything from the “male loneliness epidemic” to women’s heteropessimism.Some of these arguments are coming from feminist-minded folks who are reckoning with the cultura
Epstein was behind the #MeToo backlash
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.comThanks to everyone who tuned into our Substack Live.Today’s bonus episode was a cultural and political grab bag. Just a few topics we touched on:* Tracy blaming dire straightness for her skateboarding-related concussion* Chris Harrison’s new trad marriage dating show* Epstein’s hand in the #MeToo backlash* The fi
Men need therapy. They also need feminism.
Perhaps you’ve heard, men will do literally anything to avoid going to therapy. They will eat raw liver, obsess about the Roman Empire, run American democracy into the ground, start their own paramilitary organization, design AI housebots, invent social media, start podcasts with their bros, open carry— anything other than Zoom for an hour with a mental health professional.Meanwhile, men are—accor
The hetero-politics of ICE
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.comThanks to everyone who tuned into our Substack Live.We got into the hetero-politics of the Department of Homeland Security. Given that our podcast is all about deconstructing heteronormative culture and politics, and imagining new ways forward, we felt like it was pretty urgent times to do a bonus episode on the
Monogamy is a feminist problem
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.comMonogamy is essential to the culture of heterosexuality.From its historical roots as a marital expectation for wives, but not husbands, to its current role in maintaining a society that runs on women’s unpaid labor, it’s clear that monogamy is a feminist problem. In this episode, we look at how monogamy fuels tox
Is ‘Heated Rivalry' an escape from heterosexuality?
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.comWelcome to Dire Straights Live, one of our bonus podcast episodes recorded on Substack in front of a virtual audience. If you're listening on a podcasting platform, make sure to join us at direstraightspod.com for the full experience—and upgrade to paid so you can listen to the whole episode.We dig into HBO’s Hea
Is dating dead?
We’re back from the flurry of the holidays and new year, and we’re digging into dating. Last month, we hosted our first-ever live recording of this podcast, and let’s just say we heard loud and clear that dating today… sucks.People are burnt out on the apps, the gender divide is stark, and straight women’s attitudes toward partnership and marriage are shifting. Meanwhile, men are failing to put in
Can married and divorced women be friends?
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.comIn this episode, we ask an age-old question that somehow also feels very of the moment: Can married and unmarried women be friends?More specifically, can married and divorced women be friends? What about married women and women who have no interest in marriage at all, like those who see marriage as a hetero-patri
Christmas is an ad for heterosexuality
You just survived Thanksgiving. You might now be surviving the onslaught of holiday commercials and Hallmark movies starring big-city career women who are reminded of the true meaning of Christmas after falling in love with a rugged small-town hunk in a plaid button-up.Maybe you’re also cruising the sales, checking the Christmas lists, planning the next holiday dinner, and feeling a little overwhe
Is it women’s job to save men?
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.comAre men OK? Is there actually a “male loneliness crisis”? Is it women’s job to fix it? What role should straight women play in rescuing men from… whatever the hell is going on with them? What would it take for men to help themselves? And how on earth should a mother of boys be in this era?Everyone has a lotttt of
A feminist takedown of WWE masculinity
This week, we wrestle with what WWE and UFC tell us about the current moment in gender, heterosexuality, and American politics. We talk about some truly terrible men—Vince McMahon, Joe Rogan, Mark Zuckerberg, Andrew Tate, and, of course, Donald Trump.Turns out, pro-wrestling is a perfect lens for understanding our wannabe dictator of a president, from his political rhetoric to his cultish followin
Marital 'intimacy' is the fifth shift of women's work
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.comToday, we’re talking about the fifth shift — all the labor and consumerism that heterosexual women engage in to maintain their marital sex lives.Appointment sex, date nights, intimacy classes, coaching programs, books about desire, erotic subscription services, and hours of internet content about keeping the spar
What happened to 4B?
Remember the 4B movement? Last fall, the idea exploded in the U.S. right alongside the election of Donald Trump. Some called it a “sex strike.” The idea was that women were going to say “no” to men. No dating, no marriage, no sex, no babies.There were viral TikToks. It was all over the headlines. It sparked debates, backlash, mockery, and threats. And then the meme disappeared.A year later, we’re
Have we lost the divorce plot?
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.comThis week, we’re doing an epic survey of American divorce plots, including the literature, film, TV, and cultural attitudes that shaped our understandings of divorce from a young age, teaching us about family, love, and heterosexuality.That means we’re talking about tough divorcees of the 80s and 90s—including ex
'Red flags' are the state of dating right now
In this episode, we’re talking about men who call their exes “crazy,” don’t text back, refer to women as “females,” and listen to Joe Rogan.In other words, we’re talking about “red flags.”Maybe you’ve seen a viral video of a woman listing off warning signs that a man is no good. Maybe you’ve seen that guy on TikTok who re-posts videos of straight people behaving badly and then runs around waving a
We got AI boyfriends
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.comWe got AI boyfriends for a weird and wild weeklong experiment—and now we’re reporting back.There are dozens of popular apps that let users either design their own virtual romantic companions or choose readymade partners modeled after common straight-guy archetypes, celebrities, and popular characters from TV and
‘Why am I in this relationship?’
This summer’s pop music has a lot to say about heterosexuality.It’s seen as a burden and an addiction—men are compared to children and cocaine. Haim is literally asking, over and over: “Why am I in this relationship?” It’s textbook heterofatalism when Sabrina Carpenter sings, “I swear they choose me, I'm not choosing them.”But some pop stars are actually escaping sad straight relationships—or else
S*x guides for tradwives
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.comWe dive headfirst into the sex column at the alt-right women’s magazine, Evie, which journalist EJ Dickson called a “Gen Z ‘Cosmo’ for the Far Right.”As we dig into Evie’s surprisingly graphic how-to-please-your-husband guides, we explore what the magazine tells us about conservative sexual politics today, includ
The heteropessimism of techno-optimism
“Techno-optimism” is a system of belief currently fueling the very worst tech bros—from Elon Musk to Mark Zuckerberg. So, we decided to do a close read of the movement’s manifesto to better understand its architects and their vision of the future, which includes becoming “Technological Supermen” and… invading space.We turn to figures like Marc Andreessen, who have claimed this thinking as their ow
What is couples therapy for?
This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.direstraightspod.comWe talk couples therapy—the good, the bad, and the unequal. We look at sexism in the therapy room, consider how therapists try to save us from patriarchal socialization, and talk about the divorce stigma that shows up in the ever-popular belief that marriage is hard work. We ask: How does couples therapy challeng
'Dark feminine' influencers are selling seduction as liberation
In this inaugural episode, we wade into an internet subculture known as the “dark feminine,” a viral beauty trend turned hetero dating strategy.Dark feminine influencers promise liberation from fuckboys and toxic straight relationships, with TikTok videos and ebooks that teach women the art of seduction—and not texting men back. Behind the goth-meets-glam makeup tutorials and affirmations about “p
Introducing Dire Straights
Welcome to Dire Straights, a feminist podcast critiquing heterosexual love, sex, politics, and culture. Dire Straights is hosted by Amanda Montei and Tracy Clark-Flory, a couple of longtime journalists, essayists, critics, and authors.Our show is a skewering of straight existence—and an exercise in imagining new possibilities. Each episode, we’ll unpack the most dire elements of hetero culture, li
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