Betrayal Recovery Radio: The Official Podcast of APSATS
Betrayal Recovery Radio is the official podcast of the Association of Partners of Sex Addict Trauma Specialists (APSATS). Hosted by Dr. Jake Porter, it addresses the trauma of betrayal due to a partner's secret sexual addiction. The podcast aims to empower and support betrayed partners with knowledge and resources to move from shock through grief and into growth. Episodes cover important topics for both sex addicts and their betrayed partners, fostering conversations that lead to hope and healing.
Episodes
How Betrayal Trauma Changed Everything: The Story Behind APSATS with Barb Steffens
What happens when one research study challenges an entire field?In this episode of Betrayal Recovery Radio, Dr. Jake Porter sits down with Barb Steffens, founding president of APSATS, to discuss the origins of betrayal trauma treatment and the research that helped transform how betrayed partners are understood and supported.Barb shares the story behind her groundbreaking doctoral research, which f
The Three Dimensions of Empathy with Stevie Cotet Hall
Empathy is often praised as the key to connection—but why does it sometimes fail? This episode introduces a more nuanced and multidimensional understanding of empathy—one that distinguishes between knowing, feeling, and responding. Drawing from research, clinical insight, and real-world examples, the conversation examines how empathy can succeed, where it often breaks down, and how a deeper unders
The Trap of Injustice After Betrayal with Janice Caudill and Dorit Reichental
What happens when betrayal is no longer just about safety, but about justice?In this episode, Dr. Jake Porter sits down with Janice Caudill and Dorit Reichental to explore post-traumatic embitterment and why some betrayed partners feel stuck long after the initial trauma. They unpack the difference between fear-based trauma and injustice-based suffering, and why traditional healing approaches some
The Impact of Parental Betrayal on Adolescents with Ellia Marcum
In this episode of Betrayal Recovery Radio, Dr. Jake Porter and Elia Markham discuss the complexities of betrayal, particularly focusing on its impact on adolescents. Elia shares her personal experiences with betrayal and how it shaped her understanding as both a coach and a parent. The conversation delves into the emotional turmoil faced by teens in high-conflict family situations, the importance
Navigating The Complexity of Divorce with Kim Petroni
In this episode of Betrayal Recovery Radio, Dr. Jake Porter and Kim Hansen Petroni discuss the concept of 'Not a Casserole Widow,' exploring the unique challenges faced by women navigating divorce and betrayal. They delve into the emotional complexities of disenfranchised grief, the disorienting experience of the court system, and the importance of support systems. Kim shares insights from
Finding the Way Through Sex Addiction with Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein
In this episode, I talk with Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein about their new book Finding the Way Through. We explore how recovery from sexual addiction must include partner sensitivity from the very beginning, not just to support the partner, but to build empathy and relational integrity in the addict. We also talk about their “fence” metaphor, how couples can heal while staying differentiated, and
Infidelity, Empathy, and the Path to Post-Traumatic Growth with Carol The Coach
In this episode of Betrayal Recovery Radio, Dr. Jake Porter and Carol Sheets discuss the complexities of infidelity and its distinction from compulsive sexual behavior. They explore the emotional impact of betrayal on relationships, the importance of rebuilding trust and values, and the role of empathy in the healing process. The conversation also delves into post-traumatic growth, emphasizing how
Understanding the Body's Role in Healing with Tabitha Westbrook
In this episode of the Betrayal Recovery Radio podcast, Dr. Jake Porter speaks with Tabitha Westbrook, a licensed marriage and family therapist, about her personal journey as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and domestic violence. They discuss the importance of understanding the body in the healing process, the impact of trauma, and how to listen to one's body. Tabitha shares insights on navig
The Complexity of Betrayal Anger with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck
In this conversation, Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck discusses her book 'Betrayal, Trauma, Anger' with Dr. Jake Porter, focusing on the complex emotions surrounding betrayal trauma, particularly anger. They explore the unique nature of anger in betrayal situations, the impact of betrayal blindness and gaslighting, and the seven phases of managing anger. The discussion emphasizes the importance of
Emotional Betrayal DNA: Moving from Confusion to Clarity with Jill Pool
In this episode of Betrayal Recovery Radio, Dr. Jake Porter interviews Jill Pool, a certified professional coach, about the complexities of emotional betrayal. They explore the definitions, dimensions, and impacts of emotional betrayal, including emotional neglect and the nuances of emotional affairs. Jill shares her insights on the importance of clear communication and understanding in relationsh
Intimate Partner Betrayal Awareness with Andrea Rogers
In this powerful and heartfelt episode of Betrayal Recovery Radio, Dr. Jake Porter is joined by returning guest Andrea Rogers for a conversation that is as historic as it is healing. Andrea makes a major announcement: the official launch of Intimate Partner Betrayal Awareness Day, a day dedicated to honoring the voices and validating the experiences of those impacted by intimate partner betrayal.
When Noticing Hurts: Attraction, Objectification, and the Road to Healing
This episode tackles a tricky and often painful topic—one that leaves many couples feeling stuck: how to navigate attraction after betrayal. When trust has been shattered by infidelity, even something as seemingly harmless as noticing an attractive person can feel threatening. In this conversation, Jake Porter and Karla Summey unpack the difference between noticing and objectifying, examine the in
Accidentally Brave: From Betrayal to Bold Truth with Maddie Corman | Part 2
In part 2 of this talk, Maddie Corman joins Dr. Jake Porter and APSATS President, Jeanne Vattuone, for an honest and deeply moving conversation about her one-woman play-turned-film Accidentally Brave, which chronicles her experience of navigating the fallout of her husband’s public betrayal. Maddie shares the story behind the creation of the play, the emotional and relational aftermath of disclosu
Accidentally Brave: From Betrayal to Bold Truth with Maddie Corman | Part 1
In this episode, Maddie Corman joins Dr. Jake Porter and APSATS President, Jeanne Vattuone, for an honest and deeply moving conversation about her one-woman play-turned-film Accidentally Brave, which chronicles her experience of navigating the fallout of her husband’s public betrayal. Maddie shares the story behind the creation of the play, the emotional and relational aftermath of disclosure, and
Resilience in the Storm | with Stacey Sadler
In a world where trust can be a fragile commodity, betrayed partners find themselves at a crossroads. Confronted with the painful aftermath of betrayal, many feel stuck and confused. They don’t want to be defined by betrayal but feel traumatized, confused and isolated. In Betrayal Trauma recover they embark on a courageous journey to break free from the shackles of hurt and deceit. Through resilie
When He Won't Do The Work | with Pam Blizzard & Steph Farnsworth (Part 2)
In PART 2 of this two-part episode of Betrayal Recovery Radio, Dr. Jake Porter is joined by Pam Blizzard and Steph Farnsworth to tackle one of the most frustrating challenges for betrayed partners: when the betraying partner isn’t doing the work. Together, they explore the emotional urgency of healing, the disconnect between partners' expectations, and the deeper psychological dynamics at play
When He Won't Do The Work | with Pam Blizzard & Steph Farnsworth (Part 1)
In this two-part episode of Betrayal Recovery Radio, Dr. Jake Porter is joined by Pam Blizzard and Steph Farnsworth to tackle one of the most frustrating challenges for betrayed partners: when the betraying partner isn’t doing the work. Together, they explore the emotional urgency of healing, the disconnect between partners' expectations, and the deeper psychological dynamics at play. They dis
Building True Intimacy | with Dan Drake and The Raabsmith's (Part 2)
Welcome to Betrayal Recovery Radio. I’m Dr. Jake Porter, and today, I’m thrilled to be joined by the authors of Building True Intimacy, a powerful book that lays out a roadmap for restoring relationships after betrayal. In this episode, we dive into the journey of moving from devastation to a thriving partnership, and how to develop the "Intimacy Pyramid" as a practical tool for healing.
Building True Intimacy | with Dan Drake and The Raabsmith's (Part 1)
Welcome to Betrayal Recovery Radio. I’m Dr. Jake Porter, and today, I’m thrilled to be joined by the authors of Building True Intimacy, a powerful book that lays out a roadmap for restoring relationships after betrayal. In this episode, we dive into the journey of moving from devastation to a thriving partnership, and how to develop the "Intimacy Pyramid" as a practical tool for healing.
She Needs a Relapse Plan, Too with Lyschel Burket
No one wants to prepare for a storm or consider the necessary steps to get to safety. Yet most would say they have a fire escape plan in their home for such an emergency. Most couples solely rely on the betraying partner’s relapse plan to find stabilization and repair. In the interview with Lyschel Burket, she invites betrayed partners to consider a plan for themselves in the aftermath of a slip o
Navigating Consent After Betrayal with Alana Gordon
In this conversation, Jake Porter and Alana Gordon delve into the complex topic of consent, particularly in the context of betrayal trauma and sexual addiction. They explore the foundational aspects of consent, its importance in healthy relationships, and the challenges faced by individuals in understanding and practicing it. The discussion emphasizes the need for clear communication, enthusiastic
Betrayal Happens to Men Too: with Adam Nisenson
Adam Nisenson, known as the Betrayal Shrink, combines his extensive clinical skills with a deeply empathetic heart in his role as a Betrayal Trauma Coach. Licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, Adam is dedicated to guiding men through the complex emotions and challenges of betrayal trauma. His methodology is deeply influenced by his intimate grasp of the
Rediscovering Hope, with Andrea Rogers
Healing a relationship that is impacting by addiction, adultery, and betrayal requires hope. Many couples find themselves feeling hopeless after discovery and struggle to imagining having hope again. Hope is an anchor that keeps us grounded in our values and reality. This empowering discussion will offer tools on how to cultivate hope and build strength amidst the recovery journey.
Andrea Rogers
Finding my true identity after betrayal | with Cat Etherington
Cat Etherington is the Director of Recovery for Naked Truth Project, an international ministry opening eyes and freeing lives from the damaging impacts of pornography and other problematic sexual behaviors. Cat is a certified professional life coach and integrative therapist, working with individuals and couples impacted by problematic sexual behavior and betrayal. The first ever European practiti
Double Abuse: Understanding the Hidden Pain of Relational Betrayal | Part 2 of 2
In this episode of *Betrayal Recovery Radio*, Dr. Jake Porter hosts a discussion with Pam Blizzard and Steph Farnsworth, exploring the complex layers of relational abuse within the context of betrayal trauma. They define relational abuse as a covert, disempowering experience, highlighting how behaviors like gaslighting and manipulation compound the pain of betrayal, creating a "double abuse" effec
Double Abuse: Understanding the Hidden Pain of Relational Betrayal | Part 1 of 2
In this episode of *Betrayal Recovery Radio*, Dr. Jake Porter hosts a discussion with Pam Blizzard and Steph Farnsworth, exploring the complex layers of relational abuse within the context of betrayal trauma. They define relational abuse as a covert, disempowering experience, highlighting how behaviors like gaslighting and manipulation compound the pain of betrayal, creating a "double abuse" effec
Intensive Treatment for Betrayal Trauma with Aarti Chidambaram
In recent years, the demand for "intensive treatment" has increased, as more and more betrayed partners seem methods of accelerating their healing process. Though relatively new to the field of professional counseling and coaching, intensives have become keystone elements of some individuals' recovery journeys. In this episode, Dr. Jake is joined by APSATS Board Member Aarti Chidambaram to discus
Healing the Traumatized Brain with Laura Childers
Advances in neurotherapy now allow specialized clinicians to take much of the guesswork out of understanding and working toward healing for those affected by trauma. APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist Laura Childers is just such an expert, using cutting edge technologies to look into the brains of betrayed partners and recovering addicts in order to better diagnose and device treatments
Navigating the Holiday Season in the Midst of Betrayal with Rebecca Ray
In today's episode of Betrayal Recovery Radio, we delve into the complexities of the holiday season, a time filled with joy but often marred by the challenges of betrayal trauma. Joined by Rebecca Ray, we'll navigate the delicate dynamics faced by those affected by betrayal, whether as the betrayed or the betrayer.
Rebecca Ray is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, licensed in Texas
The Prevalence of Domestic Violence in the Lives of Partners of Sex Addicts | With Lisa Taylor
In this interview I share the results of my Masters thesis which show that rates of domestic violence are considerably higher in the lives of partners of sex addicts than in the general population. This is significant because women are arriving daily on therapists’ doorsteps seeking help for betrayal trauma, but with their experiences of DV under recognized and under disclosed. Moreover the study
Navigating Betrayal: Answering the Hard Questions with Conversations Podcast
Welcome to another thought-provoking episode of Betrayal Recovery Radio, hosted by Dr. Jake Porter. In this engaging installment titled "Navigating Betrayal: Answering the Hard Questions with Conversations Podcast," we delve deep into the complex landscape of betrayal within relationships.
Joining Dr. Jake in this enlightening discussion are esteemed colleagues: Wendy Conquest, Dan Drak
Considering the Impact for Neurodiverse Couples with Autism and Asperger Traits | with Shawna Meek
Often when doing couples recovery work, the approach is from a neurotypical lens following betrayal trauma and sex addition. This may work for many couples, but what about when these approaches aren’t working for the long term healing of the relationship? Many couples share that it can be frustrating and discouraging especially when both partners in the couple ship desires growth and change. We a
Betrayal Trauma Religious Leader Training, with Aviva Kohl and Barbara Steffens
In this podcast episode, we explore the Betrayal Trauma Religious Leader Training (BTRL), a customized program designed for professionals within religious and faith-based communities. Our interview with Aviva Kohl and Barbara Steffens uncovers the core of BTRL, focusing on the APSATS Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM). Attendees learn to provide response, assessment, and support to those
Peak Parenting in the Midst of Betrayal & Addiction
Sex addiction and betrayal doesn't have to take your parenting to new lows. In fact, by focusing on your core values you can realign your efforts to breathe new life into your parenting. People wonder what to tell the children and how to become a "family in recovery." It is possible to achieve peak parenting by recognizing your weak spots and using tools to combat the things that are
Recognizing and Responding to Destructive Relationship patterns in your relationship | With Kimberly Day
When your partner has a sexual addiction, acting out comes with the territory. Dealing with it is hard, even learning about it can be traumatic. But what about the behaviors INSIDE the relationship? How do you recognize and respond to inappropriate treatment from a partner? How do you become personally and relationally healthier when at least some of the trauma you find yourself experiencing is
Unraveling Cognitive Distortions: Navigating Healing Post Betrayal, with Pam Blizzard and Dr. Jake Porter | Part 2
In this episode, the Dr. Jake and Pam Blizzard delve into the realm of cognitive distortions often experienced by partners post-betrayal. They explore how trust erosion affects perception, leading to misconceptions such as overgeneralization, emotional reasoning, and catastrophizing. Real-life stories illustrate these distortions, while expert Jake and Pam offer practical advice for overcoming the
Unraveling Cognitive Distortions: Navigating Healing Post Betrayal, with Pam Blizzard and Dr. Jake Porter | Part 1
In this episode, the Dr. Jake and Pam Blizzard delve into the realm of cognitive distortions often experienced by partners post-betrayal. They explore how trust erosion affects perception, leading to misconceptions such as overgeneralization, emotional reasoning, and catastrophizing. Real-life stories illustrate these distortions, while expert Jake and Pam offer practical advice for overcoming the
Adult Children of Sex Addicts: Hidden Effects on Those in the Periphery - Part 2
The field of Sex Addiction has grown and expanded immensely over the last two decades, and as a result the field has a much greater understanding of not only the betraying partner but the betrayed. However, those who were in early childhood, perhaps teens, two decades ago have since grown into adulthood. As a result the sex addiction field is rapidly picking up pace in gaining an understanding of
Adult Children of Sex Addicts: Hidden Effects on Those in the Periphery - Part 1
The field of Sex Addiction has grown and expanded immensely over the last two decades, and as a result the field has a much greater understanding of not only the betraying partner but the betrayed. However, those who were in early childhood, perhaps teens, two decades ago have since grown into adulthood. As a result the sex addiction field is rapidly picking up pace in gaining an understanding of
From Crisis to Purpose and Passion with Fran Hopwood | Part 2
In the second part of this moving interview, Dr. Jake asks Fran Hopwood to reflect on the healing and recovery journey that she and her late husband Richard followed over the last nine years. The focus will be on Richard and his story of transformation and growth as an individual and as part of a coupleship.
Richard's early problematic sexual behaviour re-emerged with the advent of broadban
From Crisis to Purpose and Passion with Fran Hopwood | Part 1
In this moving interview, Dr. Jake asks Fran Hopwood to reflect on the healing and recovery journey that she and her late husband Richard followed over the last nine years. The focus will be on Richard and his story of transformation and growth as an individual and as part of a coupleship.
Richard's early problematic sexual behaviour re-emerged with the advent of broadband internet. After F
Taking on the Hard Questions, with Lyschel Burkett, Bonnie Burns, Pam Blizzard, and Dr. Jake Porter
"What if my husband won't see a therapist?"
"When should we start having sex again?"
"Why is he sober but still not connecting?"
In this episode, Dr. Jake interviews the hostesses of the Hope for Wives podcast — Lyschel Burkett, Bonnie Burns, and Pam Blizzard. The three women are able to balance a plain-spoken, no-nonsense telling of the truth with compassion, s
Returning to You™: A Conversation on Betrayal Trauma with Stacey Sadler, Cheryl Rogers, Kathy Reynolds, and Dr. Jake Porter
Over the last two decades, the way mental health professionals understand and treat the experience of betrayal has radically shifted from an emphasis on co-addiction and codependency to an embrace of the traumatic nature of intimate betrayal. In this conversation with Stacey Sadler, Cheryl Rogers, and Kathy Reynolds, they reflect both personally and professionally on this evolution and discuss how
Grief and Mourning as a Collective Experience, with Cat Etherington and Dr. Jake Porter
Grief: The sticky middle piece of the betrayal recovery experience and the place many partners and couples get stuck. It seems that many in Western culture have lost the intuitive communal mourning processes that are still so common in other cultures. We have individualized and privatized our grief and mourning into a strictly personal affair. But there is so much value in the shared and collectiv
Help. Her. Heal. with Carol "the Coach" Juergensen Sheets and Dr. Jake Porter
Carol the Coach returns to Betrayal Recovery Radio to share more about how to heal from betrayal. In this conversation with Dr. Jake, she focuses on the stages of healing from betrayal trauma and also goes deep into the topic of posttraumatic growth. Carol also gives a sneak peak into her upcoming keynote at the Restoring Hearts Conference.
Links in this episode:
http://apsats.org
http://drjakepor
Connection: Brain-Based Healing, Empathy, and Authentic Living - with Dr. Windell Gill, PSAP, and Laura Childers, LPC, CCPS
We are inherently social beings. Our brains are wired to connect, and when we feel disconnected, we struggle. If we feel isolated, our chances of having some type of psychiatric diagnosis increases. In the brain, the mirror neuron network helps us to understand subtleties in social, emotional and linguistic interchanges. The extended mirror neuron network helps us to interpret these su
The Unexpected Gift of Betrayal: Friendship, with Lyschel Burket and Dr. Jake Porter
The aftermath of betrayal can put all of our relationships into question. Secrecy, confusion, fear of judgement, and shame can lead to the loss of long time relationships as a woman sorts through her pain and tries to make sense of her reality. Join us as we talk with Lyschel Burket, Lead Hope Caster for Hope Redefined and podcast co-host for Hope For Wives. She will talk about the unexpecte
Emotional Abuse and Sex Addiction Recovery, with Tamara Lichfield and Dr. Jake Porter
In marriages and intimate relationships affected by sexual addiction, it is not uncommon for emotional abuse be present. Sometimes the abusive behaviors can increase with more intensity when the one struggling with the addiction becomes "sober" but is not fully committed to recovery. These behaviors are often maladaptive coping mechanisms fueled by shame and stemming from unhealed trauma. Many do
"That's Gaslighting!" (Or Is It?) with Sarah Morales and Dr. Jake Porter
While GASLIGHTING is now a pop-culture buzz word, AND Merriam-Webster's word of the year, a lot of what is out there is either misinformation, or incomplete information. The result? A LOT of people are incorrectly slapping the label of gaslighting on to situations that are actually NOT a gaslighting experience. The overuse of the word has left most of us with MORE questions than answers. Let
How to Understand Your Partner's Sexual Fantasies - with Dr. Jake Porter and Drew Boa
TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains content that could be upsetting or painful to individuals at particular points in their journey to healing from trauma. Please honor your intuition about whether this is the right time for you to engage this episode.
Discovering the specifics of your partner's sexual fantasies or behaviors can be devastating and disturbing. However, fantasies don't have to be
Unlocking Family of Origin Issues - Part 2, with Dr. Jake Porter
(Part 2 of 2) "Family of Origin" is the term used in counseling work to refer to the relational systems into which we were born and raised. Our families of origin leave lasting impacts on us all. They are the source of so many of our most basic ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving.
A crucial step in healing for all people is to gain an awareness of our families of origin. This awareness&nb
Unlocking Family of Origin Issues - Part 1, with Dr. Jake Porter
(Part 1 of 2) "Family of Origin" is the term used in counseling work to refer to the relational systems into which we were born and raised. Our families of origin leave lasting impacts on us all. They are the source of so many of our most basic ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving.
A crucial step in healing for all people is to gain an awareness of our families of origin. This awareness&nb
Sexual Intimacy in the Betrayal Healing Process, with Dr. Jake Porter & Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck
Everything about your sexual health is impacted when you are betrayed by someone you love and trust. Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, an ASSECT Certified Sex Therapist, and an APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist. She helps betrayed partners move from unhealthy to healthy sexuality in the healing process after betrayal. Dr. Hollenbeck underst
Being Sober Is Not Enough, with Dr. Jake Porter and Dr. Eddie Capparucci
Sex addiction is often an intimacy disorder. For many, its roots take hold during the early stages of childhood development when we should be given the instruction and nurturing needed to emotionally bond with others. When this does not happen, we struggle to feel love, or for that matter, feel any emotions. We are emotionally undeveloped. This leaves us lacking the skills and resources needed to
Is Betrayal Trauma Real? Part 2 - with Dr. Jake Porter
Betrayal Trauma is a reality. It’s not weakness of character, lack of forgiveness, or a sign of resentment. The discovery of secret betrayal has a literal, physical affect on the brain and its ability to process and act upon the data we take in as we move through life. In this episode, you’ll hear the second half of Dr. Jake Porter’s keynote presentation on Betrayal Trauma at the XPOSED conference
Is Betrayal Trauma Real? Part 1 - with Dr. Jake Porter
Betrayal Trauma is a reality. It’s not weakness of character, lack of forgiveness, or a sign of resentment. The discovery of secret betrayal has a literal, physical affect on the brain and its ability to process and act upon the data we take in as we move through life. In this episode, you’ll hear the first half of Dr. Jake Porter’s keynote presentation on Betrayal Trauma at the XPOSED conference
When Addicts Don't Want the Help They Need, with Tiffany Comiskey and Dr. Jake Porter
Betrayed partners are usually so traumatized by the discovery of their partners' addiction or betrayal that they are trying to just put together the reality of what life is and has truly been. The first phase of healing from betrayal trauma is safety and stabilization. One of the first things that needs to happen is to find out what the betrayed partner needs to feel safe, and that usually means i
Divorce Prevention 101, with Kim Hansen Petroni, CPC and Dr. Jake Porter
Divorce might seem like the obvious answer when betrayal occurs, but there are ways to save a marriage or relationship if the betrayer and partner are willing to step into healing. In this conversation between Dr. Jake and APSATS Certified Partner Coach Kim Hansen Petroni, they discuss the topic of divorce after the betrayal from several angles.
Links from the show:
http://apsats.org
What About the Kids? Disclosing Sex Addiction to Children, with Carley Pool and Dr. Jake Porter
One of the trickiest scenarios recovering addicts and betrayed partners must navigate involves disclosure to children. How much do you tell? When do you share? Who should do it? While there's no one-size-fits-all approach to answer these questions, some principles are generally helpful to those who are facing this reality. In this episode, APSATS-trained Carley Pool, LPC Associate discusses these
Core Values for Couples (Part 2), with Dr. Jake Porter
(This is the second part of a two-part series on core values. If you've not yet heard part one, go listen to that first!)
Everyone has values. Some people choose their values on purpose. Others fall into valuing things that lead them away from the life they want most.
Core values act as guides, pointing us in the direction of our dreams, hope, and expectations. This is true for individuals,
Core Values for Couples, Part One, with Dr. Jake Porter
Everyone has values. Some people choose their values on purpose. Others fall into valuing things that lead them away from the life they want most. Core values act as guides, pointing us in the direction of our dreams, hope, and expectations. This is true for individuals, but it can be true for couples, as well. Discover the power of shared values in relationships through this episode with Dr. Jake
Empathy Heals Relationships
In this conversation on the needs of couples after the discovery of sexual addiction, Dr. Jake is joined by Carol the Coach discuss her ERCEM model, the Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model. Jake and Carol talk about the three phases of healing for betrayal trauma, and how the betraying partner can help to heal the relationship, despite being the cause of pain. They discuss what true empathy is, a
Adding Attunement to Empathy, with Julie St.Onge, CPC
In Julie's interview, she will discuss why attunement is important, how it can be developed, the three C's of Non-Verbal Communication: context, cluster, congruency.
Albert Mehrabian's 55%, 38%, 7% Rule states that only 7% of what we communicate is with words, and yet we focus so many tools on this aspect. The rest of what we say is through signals, micro-expressions, facial reflexes, breathing pa
Surviving Sexual Betrayal, with Dr. Barbara Steffens and Kathy Reynolds
Betrayal can be devastating to your partner and your relationship, but many couples still love one another and are committed to mending their relationships. In order to do this, it is important for the unfaithful party to understand the traumatic nature of betrayal, and understand how to respond sensitively to their partner's pain. It is also critical they adopt a stance of honesty, transparency a
Recognizing and Healing from Childhood Neglect, with Enod Gray and Dr. Jake Porter
Many people initially seek therapy for problems in their intimate relationships unaware that attachment patterns established in childhood directly affect behavior in their adult relationships. It is important to dismantle and become mindful of survival strategies unconsciously created in childhood that cause dysfunction in adult life. Neglect and our reaction to it is one of the most subtle and un
Life Integrity, with Michelle Dyett-Welcome and Dr. Jake Porter
After the discovery of sexual betrayal, betrayed partners need much more than "mere sobriety" for trust to be rebuilt. In this episode, Dr. Jake interview APSATS Certified Partner Coach Michelle Dyett-Welcome on the topic of life integrity. By focusing on issues of character and the necessity of core values living, those who have committed betrayal can experience deep healing for themselves, and m
What I've Learned So Far: Essential Reflections on Working with Addiction and Betrayal, with Dr. Jake Porter
In this episode, Dr. Jake reflects on some of the things he's learned over the years he's worked with sex addicts and betrayed partners. He discusses why these lessons are important for both professionals in the field but also those individuals seeking to recovery from the consequences of addiction and betrayal. Dr. Jake expands on these eight lessons:
Betrayal is an issue of justice.
Disclosur
Disclosing Truth After Betrayal, with Dan Drake, Janice Caudill, and Dr. Jake Porter
Discovery of sexual betrayal erodes safety, trust and intimacy in relationships. This brings devastation to the partner and the relationship. So how do we start the process of healing after sexual betrayal? One major way to begin healing is through a formal disclosure process, facilitated by a professional. In this episode, we’ll explore what a formal disclosure is, as well as the benefits and ris
Resiliency in the Wake of Trauma, with Sara Schulting-Kranz and Dr. Jake Porter
Our difficult life experiences and traumas, including those we have collectively experienced in the last few years, have created an opening for personal growth, healing, and an opportunity to connect within our community in a way that we were never offered in the past. Through her own experience of walking through personal devastation and loss while healing in nature, Sara shares the principles sh
Putting Together the "Plan" After Betrayal w/ Tiffany Comiskey & Dr. Jake Porter
When someone is suffering from Betrayal Trauma, they are typically frightened, angry, confused, sometimes frozen in a state of shock wanting to just feel safe. So safety and stabilization is the immediate mission with a betrayed partner. Throughout the healing process the partner will constantly be pointed back to the issue of safety because that is the root to being able to trust again. Regardles
How Intimacy Clarifies Grief and Empowers Growth
Both the addict and the partner suffer from the loss of time, meaning, and clarity. Connecting together through pain, shame, and helplessness (vulnerability) enables them to recreate a shared story of suffering and recovering together. Learning to grieve one's own losses is critical for individual recovery; learning to grieve shared losses is critical to relational recovery.
When the addict, in p
Understanding Grief After the Discovery of Betrayal, with Dr. Jake Porter
Grief is an inevitable part of the healing processes for those who have been impacted by the discovery of betrayal, as well as for those who have done the betraying. Grief and mourning, the second phase of APSATS Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model, is where those who have experienced loss begin to create a new meaning that leads to healing and the ability to move forward. In this episode, Dr. J
When Self-Help Hurts, with Dr. Jake Porter and Jessica Guillory
Recovery is meant to be a journey, not a destination. Healing is not an end unto itself, but a process needed to make another way of living possible, without the weight of trauma and addiction. In this conversation between Dr. Jake and Jessica Guillory, an APSATS-trained LPC, they discuss how people can begin to see signs that efforts for recovery might be getting in the way of post-traumatic grow
Addiction & Betrayal Q&A, with Dr. Jake Porter and Andrea Rogers, CPC
The twin processes of recovery from sex addiction and healing from betrayal trauma can be complicated. The complexity of the wounds, both individually and relationally, can leave people feeling disoriented and lost. In the Q&A session, Dr. Jake Porter and APSATS Certified Partner Coach Andrea Rogers take on those questions from actually folks in the trenches of the recovery process.
Links mention
Couples Heal with Empathy, with Carol the Coach and Dr. Jake Porter
Couples who have suffered the consequences of sexual addiction and betrayal have quite the journey ahead. While traditional models of recovery focus on parallel processes of recovery for the addicted and betrayed partners, Carol the Coach's new model — ERCEM — helps couples begin healing together through the power of empathy.
Links mentioned in the show:
APSATS.org
ChooseConnectionSummit.com
h
Tell the Truth: Using Polygraphs Effectively w/ Stephen Cabler & Dr. Jake Porter
The use of polygraphs in sexual addiction recovery has been a long-debated subject, but one with increasing use by many clinicians and coaches. Many disclosure processes now take advantage of polygraph technology as a tool to increase effectiveness. In this conversation with polygraph examiner Stephen Cabler, Dr. Jake draws out some basics about how to use polygraphs effectively in the recovery pr
Effective Advocacy After Spiritual Trauma w/ Stacey Sadler and Dr. Jake Porter
A sadly common experience of betrayed partners is finding additional trauma rather than support when they go to leaders of their faith communities. Though they often mean well, religious leaders sometimes end up furthering the damage done to coming to them in crisis after the discovery. Betrayed partners need to understand the dynamics of spiritual trauma in order to process and heal from the harm
HONORING CAROL THE COACH: A CELEBRATION OF SERVICE w/ Dr. Jake Porter
With 175 episodes and more than 200,000 listens, Carol Juergensen Sheets started APSATS' Betrayal Recovery Radio podcast and built it into an established and trusted source of information, comfort, hope, and help to individuals and couples suffering from the effects of sex addiction and betrayal trauma. After three years of service, Carol the Coach is stepping down as the show's host, passing the
Thinking Outside of the Box with Carol the Coach
No one should do “this” alone.. And with GFY Coaching, is going to describe their mission to ensure you don’t have to.
Carol will be interviewing both Gail and Judy who have shifted their vision from establishing and growing our business to what some would call, a grandiose proposition, where we work to reach ALL partners who want and need help overcoming the pain and devastation caused by sexua
Find Your Post Traumatic Growth
In today's podcast, Carol the Coach reminds partners that they can get to PTG!
