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Trashy Royals

Trashy Royals

Hemlock Creatives 202 Episodes Aug 24, 2026

Whether it's the debauchery of ancient Roman emperors, the Tudor crime family, the shenanigans behind the Chair of St. Peter, or the Austrian elites’ attempts to save themselves by trading their daughters to other royal houses, it turns out that our betters have always been among our worst. Join Alicia and Stacie from Trashy Divorces as we turn our jaded eyes to a different kind of moral garbage fire: Trashy Royals! Thursdays. Brought to you by Hemlock Creatives.

Episodes

210. The Stormin' Normans | Matilda and Stephen
210. The Stormin' Normans | Matilda and Stephen Aug 24, 2026 2585 After the unfortunate incident with the boating accident that killed Heir Presumptive William in 1120, King Henry I had a choice to make when it came to succession planning. While he had nephews through his sister and illegitimate children (galore), it was his daughter Matilda, Holy Roman Empress since her arranged marriage at the age of eight, that he tapped to take the throne when he shuffled of
209. The Stormin’ Normans | William the Conqueror, William II, and Henry I
209. The Stormin’ Normans | William the Conqueror, William II, and Henry I Aug 20, 2026 3634 Today we travel back nearly a millennia to investigate the House of Normandy, the beginning of the line of non-English Kings. William the Conqueror was the first Norman (French) king of England defeating King Harold at the Battle of Hastings in 1066. What follows is the wild ride of William, his wife Matilda of Flanders and their three sons, Robert, William Rufus and Henry. This is a true battle
208. Put Up Your Dukes | Dukes and Duchesses
208. Put Up Your Dukes | Dukes and Duchesses Aug 13, 2026 2415 A few weeks ago, we ranked the royals in the UK system. Today, Alicia takes us into the peerage to talk their top of the heap, Dukes and Duchesses. Sponsors Upgrade your every day! Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to Quince.com/TRASHYROYALS. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and UK, too! Vinted. See what’s hiding in your closet
207. Princess Margaret
207. Princess Margaret Aug 6, 2026 5037 When Queen Elizabeth II was born in 1926, there were years of her childhood that were, compared to other future monarchs, quite normal. After all, she was never supposed to be the Queen. Her father was a second son; her Uncle David would succeed her grandfather, and certainly other male children would come along. And then, in 1930, Elizabeth’s parents waited with anticipation to find out the gend
206. The Mad-Lib That is Roald Dahl's Grandson's Life - He Married, and Divorced, Jordan's Princess Raiya (A Trashy Divorces Crossover)
206. The Mad-Lib That is Roald Dahl's Grandson's Life - He Married, and Divorced, Jordan's Princess Raiya (A Trashy Divorces Crossover) Aug 2, 2026 2265 As she was idly scrolling Bluesky a few days ago, Alicia (@alicianwonderland.bsky.social) came across the ultimate Mad-Lib of a skeet: "roald dahl's grandson is a former london-based journalist who once freelanced for the daily dot and then married princess raiyah of jordan during covid but then got divorced and moved to the US where he became a cop in south carolina and just married an american t
205. Sarah Ferguson's Windfall?
205. Sarah Ferguson's Windfall? Jul 30, 2026 3284 Alicia - at the prompting of a listener - started to deep dive into Andrew and Sarah's adult daughters when she learned that an old boyfriend of Sarah's, who has also been an ally and patron over the decades, has died at the age of 88. Paddy McNally and Sarah dated for a few years beginning when she was 20 and he was 42. He also amassed a fortune of $800 million or so, and Royal watchers suspect t
204. Anne, Princess Royal
204. Anne, Princess Royal Jul 23, 2026 4309 While we're ranking the Royals, Alicia thought it was worth taking a moment to appreciate the hardest working of the bunch, the current Princess Royal, Princess Anne. An Olympic-caliber equestrian, Anne has attended more than 20,000 official engagements on behalf of the Crown, and is a patron or honorary president of more than 300 charitable organizations. But even Anne has opinions when it come
203. Ranking the Royals: Kings, Queens, Princes, and Princesses
203. Ranking the Royals: Kings, Queens, Princes, and Princesses Jul 16, 2026 2324 Alicia realized that some of our Good Nobles (especially American Good Nobles) may not be fluent in the various ranks of the English aristocracy. So why start at the bottom of the Peerage - the Barons - when you can start at the top of the Royal heap? Today we talk Kings, Queens, Princes, and Princesses, plus how the line of succession works. Listen ad-free at patreon.com/trashyroyalspodcast. T
202. Corruption at Court | Thomas Howard and Katherine Knyvet, 1st Earl and Countess of Suffolk
202. Corruption at Court | Thomas Howard and Katherine Knyvet, 1st Earl and Countess of Suffolk Jul 9, 2026 2147 As a follow-up to our episode about Frances Howard and the Thomas Overbury Affair, Stacie introduces us to Frances's parents, Thomas Howard and Katherine Knyvet. The couple was obsessed with real estate, and their constant remodels, renovations, tear-downs, and rebuilds meant they weren't especially concerned about where their money was coming from. Eventually, even the highly distractible King Ja
201. Consuelo Vanderbilt Balsan, Duchess of Marlborough
201. Consuelo Vanderbilt Balsan, Duchess of Marlborough Jul 2, 2026 4237 Come aboard, friends - today we have a Gilded Age roller coaster!  Consuelo Vanderbilt wasn't born royal - she wasn't even born in a monarchy! But she did grow up in a sort of dictatorship, with a controlling, overbearing mother who demanded that this American daughter of wealth marry into the British aristocracy, whether Consuelo wanted that or not. When Consuelo was a teenager, and her m
200. Louis and Edwina Mountbatten | Dickie Solo
200. Louis and Edwina Mountbatten | Dickie Solo Jun 24, 2026 2973 After the death of Edwina Mountbatten in 1960, Dickie still had another 19 years of living to do, and while he was single, he was in no way alone. He had romances with plenty of women in his later years, and according to many, he had male lovers - including, it is alleged, boys - as well. A mentor to Prince Charles, his advice to the young man may have contributed to what turned into the tragic m
199. Louis and Edwina Mountbatten | Comrades in Arms
199. Louis and Edwina Mountbatten | Comrades in Arms Jun 23, 2026 2879 As Edwina took pains to lay low in Malta after the scandals of her affairs, Italy decided to exit the League of Nations and invade Ethiopia. To protect their children, she took them to Budapest and installed them in a hotel with their nanny and governess... and then forgot which hotel they were in. For months. As the summer of 1935 turned to fall, and then winter, they just stayed in their hotel u

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