lovelustfear
lovelustfear exposes real stories about toxic dating and relationships. Every episode explores true dating and relationship stories—from the awkward and uncomfortable to the shocking and bizarre to the disturbing and downright dangerous. Host Jake Deptula (Strictly Stalking) welcomes storytellers into candid conversations, revealing the decisions they made and dilemmas they faced when better judgment got lost in a haze of desire.
Episodes
nillie | next time you see me, smile
Nillie grew up under the pressure of her family’s traditions and expectations, especially when it came to finding a husband. She falls for an older man whose attention feels like love, but quickly turns into control. Trapped in a marriage marked by shame, abuse, and fear, she stays for years—until one terrifying night changes everything.** This episode contains explicit content, including descrip
ariel | i was addicted to the idea of him
After a childhood marked by bullying, anxiety, and insecurity, Ariel turned to drugs and alcohol to numb her pain. As her addiction deepened, she became caught in a cycle of unstable relationships and risky behavior, eventually meeting a man who took advantage of her vulnerabilities and drew her into a relationship that placed her recovery—and ultimately her life—in danger.**This episode contains
cait | the whole world froze
Cait thought she had found a safe and loving relationship—until cocaine, heavy drinking, threats, and escalating violence exposed the terrifying man behind the charm. Then came a brutal hours-long attack that left her fighting for her life, followed by stalking, a controversial release on bail, and a prosecution that ultimately failed.** This episode contains explicit content, including sexual as
channelle | i thought i was in a safe place
After a childhood marked by abuse and instability, Channelle spent her teenage years searching for love and safety wherever she could find it. When a next-door neighbor and his family welcomed her in, it felt like the stable home she had always longed for. But what began as comfort slowly twisted into control and abuse. She eventually escaped—until a chance reunion revealed the man she once trust
jaimee | there’s nothing scary about him
After a traumatic childhood, Jaimee yearned for peace and stability. She found temporary solace in a long-term marriage, but when it ended, she was drawn to a charismatic and charming man. However, beneath his appealing exterior lay a dark reality. As the relationship unfolded, it spiraled into psychological control, emotional and physical abuse. Caught in a dangerous and toxic situation, Jaimee
lisa | that's when everything changed
As Lisa rises to fame in the modeling world, her ambition takes her around the globe. What starts as a dream life quickly unravels when she becomes the target of a dangerous sexual predator. Exploited by those in power, she refuses to stay silent, putting herself at risk to uncover the truth and protect others from the same fate.** This episode contains explicit content, including descriptions of
lynn | everyone is going to take advantage of you
After enduring sexual harassment in her early teens, Lynn turns to older men for comfort as she enters adulthood. She becomes pregnant by an abusive partner, faces the heart-wrenching decision of abortion, and suffers further assault. Despite her longing to heal, she becomes caught in toxic cycles, growing increasingly isolated and trapped. Driven by the need to end the cycle of abuse, she fights
lauryn | you have to learn to trust me
Lauryn’s romance with her movie theater coworker spirals into a toxic cycle of heartbreak, doubt, and obsession, leaving her emotionally crushed but driven to prove her instincts right.quotes"...in middle school when girls and boys were starting to pay more attention to each other. And I had crushes, but they were not reciprocated..." - Lauryn“At the time, I was just like, we're going to be toget
allyn | it’s a lot worse than we thought
Allyn meets a captivating man who swiftly declares his love, asks her to be his girlfriend, and proposes. But as their long-distance relationship deepens, she uncovers his lingering connection with an ex, leading her down a dark path of deception.chapters(00:00) listen with caution(00:16) next on lovelustfear(01:40) about allyn(02:38) allyn’s story(56:35) questions & answers(01:01:54) closing
lorraine | you have to be very careful with him
After her divorce, Lorraine sought advice from a shaman, who encouraged her to let others take the lead. She started taking dance classes and began dating her partner, who eventually revealed himself to be a manipulative and controlling narcissist, drawing her into a cycle of escalating abuse.**This episode contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, racism, and mental, emotional, and physical
terra | i want you to always be available to me
At seventeen, Terra is captivated by a charismatic classmate who exploits her need for attention, leading them into a troubling cycle of drug abuse and criminal behavior. Terra's physical addiction to him only serves to deepen the toxicity within their relationship.**This episode contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, murder, suicide, mental, emotional, and physical abuse, and drug use. L
emma | you should be scared
Emma seeks comfort in the arms of a former client whose initial charm and good looks give way to his darker traits, trapping her in escalating emotional turmoil and abuse.quotes“All in the same week, I lost a dog, a job, a relationship, and a house. It was just like one of those things where your world is completely turned upside down and you're very vulnerable, right?” - Emma“I run into Ben agai
debra | i’ve always seemed to attract the crazy type
After her marriage is shattered by betrayal, Debra turns to alcohol, descending into addiction. Despite her efforts to maintain sobriety, she becomes entangled in a toxic relationship with an enabler who subjects her to emotional abuse, manipulation, and coercive control.chapters(00:00) listen with caution(00:16) next on lovelustfear(01:38) about debra(02:18) debra’s story(27:03) questions & a
kenzi | i think we met awkward twelve minutes ago
Following her divorce, Kenzi returned to her hometown and ventured into online dating, where she developed a promising friendship with romantic potential. However, the situation took a dark turn when Kenzi found herself subjected to his disturbing and abusive behavior.chapters(00:00) listen with caution(00:16) next on lovelustfear(01:42) about kenzi(02:26) kenzi’s story(22:00) questions & answ
kaitlyn | we didn’t have boundaries
Despite longing for love and affection, Kaitlyn becomes caught in a cycle of toxic relationships marked by sexual assault, emotional abuse, and physical violence.chapters(00:00) listen with caution(00:16) next on lovelustfear(01:21) about kaitlyn(02:11) kaitlyn’s story(19:02) questions & answers(23:30) closing thoughts(24:18) charity & organizations(24:48) submit your story(24:59) disclaim
lena | he’s your problem now
Lena, compelled by her strict upbringing, marries a culturally appropriate man who promises to provide for her needs. But after discovering his success and adoration are a facade, she finds herself trapped in a marriage of deception, control, and abuse.chapters(00:00) listen with caution(00:16) next on lovelustfear(01:46) about lena(02:47) lena’s story(33:10) questions & answers(37:59) closing
laura | true love always
Laura reconnects with her grade school sweetheart sparking a wave of nostalgic romance. However, the warmth of their reunion soon fades as she becomes subjected to his abusive and destructive behavior.chapters(00:00) listen with caution(00:16) next on lovelustfear(01:46) about laura(02:46) laura’s story(23:18) questions & answers(26:32) closing thoughts(27:44) charity & organizations(28:14
sadie | i could kill you right now
Sadie finds herself drawn to a drug-addicted "bad boy" with a criminal past. When her efforts to rehabilitate him fail, her addiction to this abusive and dangerous man threatens to end her career, her family, and her life.chapters(00:00) listen with caution(00:16) next on lovelustfear(01:42) about sadie(02:53) sadie’s story(24:43) questions & answers(29:30) closing thoughts(30:33) charity &
jenna | no one gets out this early
Jenna is swept off her feet by a charismatic chef and finds herself married within ninety days. But under his charming facade lurks a volatile temper as Jenna becomes the target of his rage, threats, and physical intimidation.chapterslisten with caution | 00:00next on lovelustfear | 00:16about jenna | 01:20jenna’s story | 02:12questions & answers | 21:56closing thoughts | 25:46charity & or
mira | a f**king broken mess
After tying the knot, Mira finds herself fostering an emotionally immature man-child whose public intoxication, abusive tendencies, threats of suicide, and troubling fixation with firearms put Mira and her daughter's lives at risk.chapterslisten with caution | 00:00next on lovelustfear | 00:16about mira | 01:17mira’s story | 02:05questions & answers | 21:32closing thoughts | 25:09charity &
gabi | we can't break up
Gabi's dating life takes a darker turn when she finds herself entangled in a toxic workplace romance with an abusive partner and is forced to conceal his drug addiction and self-destructive tendencies to protect his career.chapterslisten with caution | 00:00next on lovelustfear | 00:17about gabi | 01:19gabi’s story | 02:24questions & answers | 21:15closing thoughts | 26:24charity & organiz
justine | you’re never allowed to leave me
When 19-year-old Justine fell for a mature and charming military man, she believed she had found her forever. But the husband she once trusted to protect her became the very person she needed protection from. chapterslisten with caution | 00:00next on lovelustfear | 00:16about justine | 01:19justine’s story | 02:14questions & answers | 28:20closing thoughts | 37:00charity & organizations |
desiree | his name was SMITTY
In a time before Tinder, Desiree takes the plunge into online dating. She catches the eye of Smitty, a seemingly handsome stranger whose Polaroid profile snapshots obscure his hidden reality.chapterslisten with caution | 00:00next on lovelustfear | 00:16about desiree | 00:58desiree’s story | 02:19questions & answers | 15:41closing thoughts | 24:28charity & organizations | 25:30submit your
alona | the only single one left
After finding herself the only single one left among her girlfriends, Alona decides to give relationships another try, leading her into one of the most isolating, depressing, and dangerous chapters of her life.chapters(00:00) listen with caution(00:16) next on lovelustfear(00:58) about alona(02:08) alona’s story(18:04) questions & answers(24:31) closing thoughts(25:36) charity & organizati
lovelustfear | trailer
lovelustfear is a new podcast series exposing the darker side of dating and relationships. Every episode is an exploration into true dating and relationship stories — from the awkward and uncomfortable to the shocking and bizarre to the disturbing and downright dangerous. Host Jake Deptula welcomes storytellers into candid conversations, revealing the decisions they made and dilemmas they faced wh
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