Java with Juli - Making Sense of God and Sex
Dr. Juli Slattery sits down with guests over coffee and you get to join them. We have honest conversations about sex, marriage, intimacy, singleness, and God's design for sexuality. Java with Juli is an outreach of Authentic Intimacy.
Episodes
"Show It Off" or "Cover It Up": Messages That Shape Our Body Image, #381
What messages have you been told about your body and your sexuality? This week, Juli sits down with her friends Dawn Jones and Danisa Suarez for a candid conversation about the unique experiences of Black, Latino, and White women when it comes to the messages they received about their sexuality. They touch on topics like body image, beauty standards, shame, and the pressure women feel to either h
How Your Story Shapes the Way You Approach Sex & Intimacy, #612
What if the challenges in your sex life have less to do with sex and more to do with your story? This week, Juli talks with attachment expert Marc Cameron about how our earliest relationships shape the way we approach dating, marriage, and sexual intimacy. Whether you're struggling with emotional distance, differences in desire, recurring conflict, or simply want a deeper understanding of yoursel
Dismantling 3 Lies That Rob Our Intimacy With God, #611
Juli sits down with bestselling author Gary Thomas for a conversation about some of the subtle lies Christians often believe without even realizing it. They're tackling tough questions , like: Can family become an idol? Why do we still struggle with sin after coming to Christ? And what happens when loneliness and isolation become our normal? While this conversation isn't specifically about sexuali
How Purity Culture Messed With Our Sexual Desire, #610
If you grew up in church in the 90s or early 2000s, you probably received some confusing messages about sex and desire. This week, Juli and Hannah unpack how those messages shaped our understanding of sexuality and purity—and why so many Christians still struggle to say "yes, yes, yes" after years of "no, no, no." This conversation will remind you that God is not ashamed of your sexuality and invi
What If My Spouse Is Looking at Porn?, #609
This week, Juli, Hannah, and Joe answer one of the hardest questions many of us face: What do I do if my spouse is looking at porn? This conversation is honest, compassionate, and full of hope. We talk through the pain, shame, confusion, and secrecy that pornography often brings into a marriage—and why healing is still possible for both the person struggling and the spouse who feels hurt and betra
Purity Culture, Shame, & the Grace of God, #608
This week, Dannah Gresh shares the personal story behind And the Bride Wore White—one of a few books that launched conversations about purity, shame, grace, and redemption for an entire generation of Christian young people. Together, Juli and Dannah reflect on the wounds many women carry around sexuality, the beauty of God's forgiveness, and why purity was never meant to be about perfection. Gues
Is Good Sex a "Right" in Marriage?, #319
This week, Juli and Hannah tackle the question, Am I entitled to sex—even good or regular sex—in my marriage? Drawing on stories, biblical truth, and personal reflection, Juli challenges common assumptions about sex, covenant, and what it really means to love like Jesus did. This episode offers hope for couples navigating pain, unmet expectations, or seasons of healing—and it just might challenge
Marriage, Faith, and Same-Sex Attraction with Tony Scarcello, #607
This week, Juli sits down with pastor and author Tony Scarcello to hear his story of wrestling with same-sex attraction from a young age, the weight of shame and silence he carried, and how God met him in the middle of it all. Some conversations aren't meant to be easy, they're meant to help us grow. This is one of those. Tony's story will challenge you, encourage you, and remind you how deeply w
What if I'm Attracted to Someone Who Isn't My Spouse? #606
This week, Juli sits down with Joe and Hannah to tackle the question: What do you do when you're attracted to someone who isn't your spouse? Together, they unpack the reality that attraction outside of marriage isn't a matter of if, but when. From the myth of "soulmates" to the powerful role of brain chemistry, this conversation explores why these feelings happen, and why they don't have to define
Can I Still Be Loved? Faith, STIs, and the Journey Out of Shame, #605
Shame has a way of convincing us to hide. But Jesus doesn't turn away from your shame. He steps toward it. This week, Juli sits down with Dr. Carol Tanksley and Allie Mazur to shed light on the often unspoken reality of living with an STI. Together, they unpack the weight of shame, the fear of rejection, and the questions that can follow a diagnosis like herpes. You'll be reminded that while cons
How Do You Keep Married Sex Exciting?, #604
Married sex doesn't just "stay hot"...but you can fan the flames to create something even more meaningful (and longer-lasting) than honeymoon sex. This week, we're talking about how to keep married sex exciting over the long haul. You'll learn about the shift that happens in long-term relationships, why desire can fade into routine, and what actually helps bring the spark back. No theory. No pres
5 Ways To Navigate Differences & Build a Stronger Marriage, #603
One of you is ready to leave early. The other is still looking for their shoes. Welcome to marriage. This week, Juli and Mike are on stage at the Love Like You Mean It Cruise! Live and unfiltered, they talk honestly about how their differences have shown up in parenting, intimacy, and their pace of life—and how they've learned to let those differences draw them closer, instead of driving them apar
Why Sexual Trauma Hurts Us So Deeply (& What Healing Looks Like), #602
Some wounds don't just live in your memories… they live in your body, in your relationships, and in your sense of safety. If you've ever wondered, "Can I be whole after sexual trauma?," you're not alone—and you're not beyond healing. That's the question Juli is tackling this week. You'll hear why sexual trauma uniquely affects identity and intimacy, how shame and self-blame keep us stuck, and wha
How To Date Well Without Losing Your Faith (Or Your Heart), #601
Their love story made headlines—but not for the reasons you might expect. In this conversation, CD and Melody Fabien share a completely different vision for dating—one rooted in purpose, boundaries, and hearing God's voice. If you're tired of hook-ups, ghosting, and the pressure of fast-paced dating, this episode is for you. Guest: CD & Melody Fabien Check out our brand-new Hot Topic Kit: Health
Why Sex Feels Hard (& How to Make it Amazing Again), #600
Many married couples carry a secret: one of them doesn't like sex—they may even dread it. For years, sex has felt more like obligation than pleasure, and they've quietly believed something must be wrong with them. This week, we're tackling the unspoken question: "What if I'm married and I don't like sex?" We'll talk about the real reasons sex can feel difficult or even painful, and call out a few
Marriage in Survival Mode: Why Dates Still Matter, #194
Life gets busy—especially with kids, work, and everyday stress. But research shows that couples who consistently make time for each other are significantly happier in their marriages. This week, we're talking about why date nights matter more than you think. We'll tackle common obstacles couples face, like exhaustion, busy schedules, lack of childcare, and awkward conversations. Plus, you'll hear
The 5 Love Languages (& Why Your Spouse's Love Tank Is Still Empty), #599
You know your spouse's love language, and you try to use it. So why is their love tank always running on empty? This week, we're expanding the classic framework to include personality nuances, seasonal shifts, overdoing it (yes, that's possible!), and love tank "leaks." Plus, you'll learn why gifts aren't always about money and why physical touch isn't always about sex. Join us for a conversation
Does God Really Care if We Move in Together?, #598
Maybe you're already living together. Maybe this topic feels uncomfortable. Maybe you've never questioned it before. This week, Juli unpacks what God says about living together before marriage, what (secular) research is telling us, and how covenant—not convenience—creates lasting security. Co-hosts: Hannah Nitz & Joe Caruso Tell us what you think! Leave us a rating & review. Follow-Up Resources
Cultivating Courage: Why Men Need a New Vision for Manhood, #597
Men get a lot of mixed messages about masculinity. Some say it's toxic. Others say it doesn't really matter anymore. It's no surprise guys are left wondering, "What does it even mean to be a good man?" This week, Juli sits down with Brant Hansen, author of The Men We Need, to get honest about the struggles men face and why true strength looks very different from the stereotypes we're used to. This
What's Okay in the Bedroom? (You Have More Freedom Than You Think), #596
What's okay in the bedroom—and how are married couples supposed to know? In this episode, Juli doesn't hand you a checklist. Instead, she walks you through three questions every couple can ask when navigating gray areas in the bedroom. From pornography and fantasy to sex toys and more, this conversation helps you discern where you may need to draw a line and where you may need to step out of your
Bye Awkward Side Hugs! Getting Over Our Fear of Opposite-Sex Friendships, #323
Are awkward "side hugs" the best we can do when it comes to opposite-sex friendships? Juli sits down with author Bronwyn Lea, who helps us rethink what it means to live as brothers and sisters in God's family. They talk about why we often confuse intimacy with sexuality, how Jesus modeled close, non-romantic relationships, and what healthy Christian community can look like (even in a sex-saturated
4 Lies We Believe About Sex, #595
Juli unpacks four of the most common (and subtle) lies we believe about sex, desire, and compatibility. From "sex is about expressing myself" to "the best sex is compatible sex," they explore how these ideas shape our relationships—and how God invites you into something deeper. If you've ever felt stuck, confused, or distant from God because of sexuality, pull up a chair—this conversation is for y
Puzzle or Mystery? Rediscovering God Beyond Easy Answers, #594
What if your relationship with God didn't start with how broken you are—but with how beloved you are? This week, Juli is joined by Marty Solomon, host of the BEMA Podcast, to explore the difference between our Western desire to have all the answers and the Bible's invitation to mystery, curiosity, and wonder. They talk about how systematic theology can both help and hinder our faith, and why bein
3 Things Christians Do That Shut Down Healing After Betrayal, #593
If you're trying to heal after betrayal, you may be doing everything you were taught to do—and still feel stuck. Sometimes we unintentionally sabotage our own healing—all in the name of love and forgiveness. Instead of feeling better, you end up feeling silenced, unsafe, and confused about why healing hasn't happened. Author and counselor Tammy Gustafson joins Juli to share four necessary phases
Masturbation: The No. 1 Question You're Asking Us, #407
There's more to the masturbation conversation than simply "right" or "wrong." Could it be an issue of spiritual maturity for some of us—whether we're married or single? Can it be used in a healthy way in marriage? Join us to have your thinking challenged! Co-host: Hannah Nitz Tell us what you thought of this conversation! Leave a rating & review, Share this episode. Join an Authentic Intimacy Onl
