Java with Juli - Making Sense of God and Sex
Dr. Juli Slattery sits down with guests over coffee and you get to join them. We have honest conversations about sex, marriage, intimacy, singleness, and God's design for sexuality. Java with Juli is an outreach of Authentic Intimacy.
Episodes
Q&A: Is Masturbation Wrong if My Spouse Can't Please Me? (+8 more), #623
This week, Juli's answering your real questions about sex. Here's what's in the line up: "What do I do if I don't find my husband attractive?" "Before marriage, I thought I was dying for sex. Now, it's a chore. Why?" "I've never had an orgasm and I don't care. Is that wrong?" "Is it wrong to please myself if my husband can't do it?" "How does sex point us to God?" "How do I seduce my wife?" "What
How to Hold On to Your Faith When a Leader Falls, #622
Have you ever found out that a Christian leader you trusted had a major moral or sexual failure…and suddenly wondered, What am I supposed to do with everything they taught me? Can I still read their books? Can I trust what I learned? Does this mean I could fall too? This week, we get honest about what happens when someone who shaped your faith falls, and how to remember that Jesus—not our favorite
How To Create a Shared Language for Your Sex Life, #365
Sex is never just about sex. That's why simple conversations about it can bring up shame, rejection, past wounds, and seriously different expectations. In this classic Java with Juli conversation with the late Dr. Doug Rosenau, he and Juli talk about why couples need more than a shared bedroom—they need a shared language. You'll learn how to: • Talk about sex when it feels awkward • Create words
The Sex Questions Kids are Really Asking, #621
What if the question your teenager is asking isn't really the question they need you to answer? This week, we're talking with Val O'Brien of the 10,000 Questions Project about what she's learned from collecting thousands of questions from teens. And here's the surprising part: some of the hardest questions about sex and God are really questions about pain. Instead of jumping straight to an answer,
Death of the Pastor's Wife: What the Church Needs To Talk About, #620
What happens when a pastor has no accountability? Or when scripture is used to justify sexual abuse within marraige? When mental health problems are overlooked? Netflix's Death of the Pastor's Wife raises some hard questions—and they're questions the church can't afford to shy away from. So we're talking about them. Co-host: Hannah Nitz Follow-up Resources: Ep. #319: Is Good Sex a "Right" in Mar
Taking a Week Off + Our Top 3 Episodes
We're taking a break for Labor Day Weekend and we hope you'll get some rest too. In the meantime, check out these popular episodes from this year: #595 4 Lies We Believe About Sex #603 5 Ways to Navigate Differences & Build a Stronger Marriage #612 How Your Story Shapes the Way You Approach Sex & Intimacy We'll be back right here next week. See you then!
Is It Love or a Pop Quiz? The Tests We Give Our Spouses, #619
We all do it—the little "tests" we give our spouses without ever telling them they're being tested. Will he notice? Will she remember? Does he even see me? Does she even care? Maybe it's the party we planned, the extra hours we put in at work, or that new haircut or dress we're hoping they'll notice. We put in the effort…and then quietly wait to see if they pass the test. And when they don't? Well
5 Conversations for a Better Sex Life, #618
Your sex life shouldn't be the one area of marriage you never discuss. It's awkward—we get it. And you probably don't think talking about it will help. But research shows that talking about sex is strongly associated with a more thriving sex life. So, how do you actually have the conversation? This week, Juli walks through five conversations couples should be having about sex. If you've ever thoug
Children, Teens, & Sexual Abuse, #277
What do you do when your child tells you something that changes everything? What constitutes abuse? And, when should you report it? This week, Juli sits down with trauma expert Dr. Debi Grebenik to talk about how parents can respond when a child has experienced sexual abuse. They discuss what signs to watch for, how trauma affects children, why empathy is more powerful than panic, and how parents
What God Revealed When I Finally Slowed Down, #617
After eight weeks away, Juli is back—and she's sharing what really happened on her sabbatical. This week, Juli opens her journal and shares the biggest lessons God taught her about burnout, rest, leadership, and learning to live within the limits He designed for us. We also talk about why so many of us struggle to slow down, how Sabbath is more than a day off, and what it looks like to build rhyth
How to Make Better Decisions As a Couple, #616
This week, Juli and her husband, Mike, share lessons they've learned about navigating disagreements, understanding each other's perspectives, avoiding manipulation, and seeking God's wisdom together. Whether you're newly married or decades into your relationship, this conversation will encourage you to build healthier patterns for making decisions as a team. Follow-up Resources: Java #603 5 Ways
How Separation Can Strengthen Your Marriage, #121
When you're on the brink of divorce, could separation save your marriage? This week, Juli sits down with Dr. Gary Chapman to hear how intentional separation can be an act of love rather than a sign of giving up. You'll learn when separation may be appropriate, why outside counsel matters, and how hope can be rekindled (even in relationships that seem beyond repair). Whether you're personally faci
4 Keys to Great Sex in Every Season, #615
Great sex doesn't happen by accident. It takes intentionality. This week, Juli shares four habits of couples who pursue sexual intimacy over a lifetime. From the busy years of raising children to the mundane of everyday life, navigating aging and redefining intimacy over time, they explore how you can pursue deeper connection through every stage of marriage. Co-host: Hannah Nitz We'd love to hear
Why Finding Love Feels Harder Than Ever, #614
Why does dating feel so much harder than it used to? Is marriage even still worth it? This week, Juli and Dr. Brad Wilcox dive into the realities of modern dating, offering practical advice for navigating relationships with wisdom and confidence. They discuss everything from fear of commitment and unrealistic expectations to the importance of community, character, and shared faith. If you've ever
Why So Many Young People Feel Confused About Sexuality, #613
The language of sexuality is changing rapidly, and many parents, pastors, and mentors feel overwhelmed trying to keep up. This week, Juli talks with Dr. Julia Sadusky about what's driving these changes, why so many young people are exploring new identity labels, and why you don't have to toss your convictions out the window in order to stay connected to your kids. Guest: Dr. Julia Sadusky Become a
"Show It Off" or "Cover It Up": Messages That Shape Our Body Image, #381
What messages have you been told about your body and your sexuality? This week, Juli sits down with her friends Dawn Jones and Danisa Suarez for a candid conversation about the unique experiences of Black, Latino, and White women when it comes to the messages they received about their sexuality. They touch on topics like body image, beauty standards, shame, and the pressure women feel to either h
How Your Story Shapes the Way You Approach Sex & Intimacy, #612
What if the challenges in your sex life have less to do with sex and more to do with your story? This week, Juli talks with attachment expert Marc Cameron about how our earliest relationships shape the way we approach dating, marriage, and sexual intimacy. Whether you're struggling with emotional distance, differences in desire, recurring conflict, or simply want a deeper understanding of yoursel
Dismantling 3 Lies That Rob Our Intimacy With God, #611
Juli sits down with bestselling author Gary Thomas for a conversation about some of the subtle lies Christians often believe without even realizing it. They're tackling tough questions , like: Can family become an idol? Why do we still struggle with sin after coming to Christ? And what happens when loneliness and isolation become our normal? While this conversation isn't specifically about sexuali
How Purity Culture Messed With Our Sexual Desire, #610
If you grew up in church in the 90s or early 2000s, you probably received some confusing messages about sex and desire. This week, Juli and Hannah unpack how those messages shaped our understanding of sexuality and purity—and why so many Christians still struggle to say "yes, yes, yes" after years of "no, no, no." This conversation will remind you that God is not ashamed of your sexuality and invi
What If My Spouse Is Looking at Porn?, #609
This week, Juli, Hannah, and Joe answer one of the hardest questions many of us face: What do I do if my spouse is looking at porn? This conversation is honest, compassionate, and full of hope. We talk through the pain, shame, confusion, and secrecy that pornography often brings into a marriage—and why healing is still possible for both the person struggling and the spouse who feels hurt and betra
Purity Culture, Shame, & the Grace of God, #608
This week, Dannah Gresh shares the personal story behind And the Bride Wore White—one of a few books that launched conversations about purity, shame, grace, and redemption for an entire generation of Christian young people. Together, Juli and Dannah reflect on the wounds many women carry around sexuality, the beauty of God's forgiveness, and why purity was never meant to be about perfection. Gues
Is Good Sex a "Right" in Marriage?, #319
This week, Juli and Hannah tackle the question, Am I entitled to sex—even good or regular sex—in my marriage? Drawing on stories, biblical truth, and personal reflection, Juli challenges common assumptions about sex, covenant, and what it really means to love like Jesus did. This episode offers hope for couples navigating pain, unmet expectations, or seasons of healing—and it just might challenge
Marriage, Faith, and Same-Sex Attraction with Tony Scarcello, #607
This week, Juli sits down with pastor and author Tony Scarcello to hear his story of wrestling with same-sex attraction from a young age, the weight of shame and silence he carried, and how God met him in the middle of it all. Some conversations aren't meant to be easy, they're meant to help us grow. This is one of those. Tony's story will challenge you, encourage you, and remind you how deeply w
What if I'm Attracted to Someone Who Isn't My Spouse? #606
This week, Juli sits down with Joe and Hannah to tackle the question: What do you do when you're attracted to someone who isn't your spouse? Together, they unpack the reality that attraction outside of marriage isn't a matter of if, but when. From the myth of "soulmates" to the powerful role of brain chemistry, this conversation explores why these feelings happen, and why they don't have to define
Can I Still Be Loved? Faith, STIs, and the Journey Out of Shame, #605
Shame has a way of convincing us to hide. But Jesus doesn't turn away from your shame. He steps toward it. This week, Juli sits down with Dr. Carol Tanksley and Allie Mazur to shed light on the often unspoken reality of living with an STI. Together, they unpack the weight of shame, the fear of rejection, and the questions that can follow a diagnosis like herpes. You'll be reminded that while cons
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