Don't Let the Neighbors Hear
Don’t Let the Neighbors Hear is a podcast that invites listeners to eavesdrop on the chaotic tales, unfiltered opinions, and questionable takes from behind the door of apartment 5R. Hosted by Paige Hapeman and Jared Gilbert, the show features guests, friends, lovers, and occasional enemies who overshare over dirty gin martinis. It's an audio peephole into a five-story walk-up, leaving neighbors pausing mid-step in disbelief.
Episodes
HOW TO: outwit, outlast, outplay
Paige and Jared are taking you eavesdroppers to tribal counsel with this weeks episode of Don't Let The Neighbors Hear . They're talking about one of their all-time favorite shows: Survivor.The two share their thoughts on Season 51 so far, who they think is going to make it to the final three, and, of course, their undying love for Jeff Probst. They chat about if they would ever apply to b
HOW TO: decide what's worth the popcorn
In this episode of Don’t Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared are recapping the biggest releases that hit theaters this summer and deciding which ones were actually worth the popcorn. From The Devil Wears Prada 2 to The Odyssey and everything in between, the two break down their favorite movies, biggest disappointments, unexpected surprises, and the films that had everyone talking. After a summ
HOW TO: be the boss of your neighbors (ft. daddy johnny)
Paige and Jared have an extra special episode of Don’t Let The Neighbors Hear for you this week as they sit down with none other than their apartment super, Jonathan, better known to the eavesdroppers as Daddy Johnny.Daddy Johnny gives us the inside scoop on what it's really like to run an NYC apartment building, from emergency plumbing calls and questionable tenant behavior to the things your
HOW TO: win the mirror ball
In this special Dancing with the Stars edition of Don’t Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared are getting ready for the return of the ballroom.With the new season just a few days away, the two build their dream DWTS casts, discuss their favorite pros and contestants, and relive some of the most iconic moments in the show's history.They also imagine what it would be like if they were cast on
HOW TO: be the extremely unique part of the dynamic (ft. ivan leung)
This week Paige and Jared sit down with the one and only, Ivan Leung. Ivan is an actor and the other part of the iconic duo behind Extremely Unique Dynamic. Ivan shares how he found his way into acting, including getting kicked out of multiple acting classes, but refusing to give up and becoming a working actor. He gives the eavesdroppers his side of the story behind making Extremely Unique Dynami
HOW TO: say i do
In this episode of Don't Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared say "I do" to talking about one of life's biggest productions: the wedding. After Jared kicks things off with a proposal that Paige definitely wasn't expecting, the two dive into their dream weddings and everything that comes with modern wedding culture. Eavesdroppers, no wedding opinion is safe.They put each ot
HOW TO: have an extremely unique dynamic (ft. harrison xu)
In this episode of Don’t Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared are joined by filmmaker, actor, and voiceover artist Harrison Xu to talk about his Extremely Unique Dynamic — both on screen and off.Harrison takes Paige and Jared behind the scenes of his debut feature film, Extremely Unique Dynamic, from bringing the project to life to taking it through the film festival circuit. He also shares som
HOW TO: be a gossip girl, xoxo
xoxo, gossip girl, eavesdroppers! This week, Paige and Jared take you to the infamous neighborhood that they currently call home: the Upper East Side of New York City.They get into what life on the UES is actually like, separate fact from fiction, discuss the neighborhood's pop culture legacy, and chat about all their favorite spots. Whether you're a lifelong New Yorker, a curious visitor,
HOW TO: read between the cards (ft. ana isabel)
In this episode of Don’t Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared are joined by Ana Isabel, founder of Latina Mystica, to pull back the curtain on astrology, tarot, and what it really means to read between the cards.Ana shares her journey into the world of tarot and astrology, from discovering these tools for herself to building a community and starting a business around self-reflection and persona
HOW TO: make it to your gate
In this episode of Don't Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared tackle the battlefield otherwise known as the airport. From the moment you step into the airport, they breakdown every unspoken rule of travel. From checking a bag and getting through security, to what you're wearing and how you board the plane they share their opinions and questionable behaviors. If you think you're safe
HOW TO: find the superhero within you (ft. roboman)
In this episode of Don't Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared are joined by recording artist ROBOMAN, the electrified alter ego of NYC artist Rob Moorman who creates music that transforms pain into blue fire and fear into glitter.Fresh off his first nationwide tour celebrating his debut album BLUE GLITTER, ROBOMAN reflects on performing all over the US from the National Mall, to the Santa M
HOW TO: keep buffalo a secret
In this episode of Don't Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared bring you to the city of good neighbors and the place they proudly call home: Buffalo, New York. The two unpack everything that makes the city so special, debunk common myths, dive deep into the Buffalo food scene and reflect on what's it like to be a part of the greatest fan base in the world: Bills Mafia. Whether you grew u
HOW TO: direct your life (ft. shazeb fahim)
In this episode of Don't Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared sit down with filmmaker, Shazeb Fahim, who doesn't just direct films— he writes them, stars in them, and also produces them. They chat about how Shazeb has built a career in filmmaking, what it's like wearing four creative hats at once, childhood inspirations and fully believing in your own ideas.Whether you're a film
HOW TO: survive the 2000s
In this episode of Don’t Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared curl up for a trip back to the 2000s. They each crown their favorite year of the decade, reminisce about the pop culture moments that defined their childhoods, and revisit the music, TV shows, movies, games, and snacks that made the 2000s feel like the 2000s.It's nostalgic, ridiculously fun, and feels a lot like hanging out at a
HOW TO: convince your roommate she's gay
This week, Paige and Jared bring you a special Pride Edition of Don't Let The Neighbors Hear with HOW TO: convince your roommate she's gay. The two revisit the making of one of their favorite projects together, their short film, F*ck, Maybe I’m Gay, which was created for one of their infamous parties during Pride a few years ago. Jared opens up about his own coming out experience, what bei
HOW TO: calculate girl math vs gay math
Take your seats, eavesdroppers! In this weeks episode of Don't Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared discuss the deeply important concept of girl math vs. gay math. They break down the rules, exceptions, and completely made-up equations behind girl math and gay math, uncovering the very specific ways they rationalize spending, social situations, and life in general. You're bound to learn
HOW TO: design your future (ft. kylie priscilla)
In this episode of Don’t Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared are joined by designer and entrepreneur Kylie Priscilla to talk about what it looks like to design the future you want for yourself.Kylie shares the story behind building KPMadeMe, from childhood tendencies and creative outlets to launching a brand centered around fashion, self-expression, and mental health. They get into imposter sy
HOW TO: tell the astrological truth
Paige and Jared put their reputations on the line by deciphering the astrological truth in this weeks episode of Don’t Let The Neighbors Hear. They start by assigning zodiac signs to iconic fictional characters — think Miranda Priestly, Wuthering Heights, Wicked and more — before spiraling into a full ranking of all 12 signs from best to worst. Each sign gets assigned one (or more) defining words
HOW TO: fit into a princess peach dress
In this episode of Don’t Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared unpack the making of their now-infamous peach party. What started as a highly committed theme quickly spiraled into an unforgettable collection of moments, stories, and decisions that only made sense in the context of the party. From over-the-top details to Paige and Jared’s dramatic Princess Peach halftime performance, they break do
HOW TO: be a cool mom
In this episode of Don’t Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared are joined by their first-ever guest: the Queen & legend herself — Paige’s mom, Genevieve Turner-Hapeman. The three of them dive into the hilarious and wholesome dynamic between Jared and Genevieve, complete with questionable jokes, rapid-fire questions, and stories that explain why she’s earned her unofficial “cool mom” title.Th
HOW TO: throw a podcast launch party
In this episode of Don’t Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared show the eavesdroppers exactly how they threw their podcast launch party - by inviting their friends over and making everyone share a story they definitely wouldn’t want the neighbors hearing.What follows is a compilation of absolute chaos: a suspicious summer sausage, accidentally getting a job while blackout drunk, a disastrous Chi
HOW TO: date a french guy
In this episode of Don’t Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared kick things off by doing exactly what the podcast title suggests — live eavesdropping on their neighbors as an already chaotic night somehow gets worse after one neighbor comes home to an apartment full of dog puke and… other disasters.Then, Paige breaks down her experience dating a seemingly perfect French guy who felt straight out
HOW TO: unpack your high school personality
In this episode of Don’t Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared unpack their high school personalities — who they were, who they thought they were, and how much of that still shows up today. From overlapping exes and student government shenanigans to teachers fully calling them out, they revisit the chaos of being a high schooler. They get into the roles they played, the decisions they probably s
HOW TO: sneak into a concert
In this episode of Don’t Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared break down their “how to sneak into a concert” playbook — from their attempt at a Peach Pit show to the time they snuck around a festival security line purely off delusion and confidence. They walk through the plan, the close calls, and the moments it almost completely fell apart — proving that sometimes all it takes is quick thinkin
HOW TO: go to belize with a brat
In this episode of Don’t Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared break down their Belizean getaway that had everything — a gorgeous Airbnb, swimming with sharks, and an unforgettable cave hike… plus one friend who's bratty attitude made more than one appearance. As the group dynamic starts to unravel, Jared is battling pneumonia, tensions are rising, and somehow a fake car crash prank is added
HOW TO: breakdown the groupchat etiquette
In episode four of Don’t Let the Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared are breaking down group chat etiquette—the do’s, the don’ts, and the messages that should’ve stayed unsent. Things escalate quickly when Paige accuses Jared of breaking serious group chat friend code, and just when it couldn’t get more chaotic, Broccoli causes a very unexpected interruption. They wrap it all up with this week’s ins a
HOW TO: ruin a first date and laugh about it later
In Episode three of Don’t Let The Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared dive headfirst into the chaos of first dates — and the stories do not disappoint. Paige shares her lineup of truly unhinged first date experiences, while Jared balances things out with a surprisingly charming story. They break down the fastest ways to ruin a first date, and unpack the unspoken rules of modern dating (and how everyon
HOW TO: make a wig wall with billy ray cyrus
In episode two of Don’t Let the Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared somehow turn their tiny New York City apartment into the setting for a full-blown “wig wall” installation—with none other than Billy Ray Cyrus (yes, really… kind of) at the center of it all. What starts as a DIY home project quickly spirals into a chaotic deep dive on cramped city living, IBS experiences, and a wig wall party attended
HOW TO: survive erupting on a volcano
In the debut episode of Don’t Let the Neighbors Hear, Paige and Jared kick things off with a chaotic recap of their trip to Guatemala—featuring questionable altitude decisions, emotional breakthroughs on the side of a volcano, and one very dramatic “eruption” that… may not have actually been the volcano. From hiking up Acatenango in the dark to questioning every life choice halfway to the summit,
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