No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery
This podcast focuses on overcoming porn addiction by addressing underlying psychological and behavioral issues. The host, Jake Kastleman, uses evidence-based practices and daily exercises to retrain the brain and build lasting habits. The goal is to establish a recovery mindset and lifestyle that naturally reduces the desire for porn. The podcast also promotes an intensive recovery program available at nomoredesire.com.
Episodes
167: How to Stop Porn Cravings: 5 Somatic Tools for Emotional Regulation
If you struggle with intense cravings for porn or masturbation, or find yourself overwhelmed by anxiety, anger, shame, or other difficult emotions, you may be missing an important part of recovery: learning how to work with your emotions through your body.Many men trying to quit porn believe the solution is to develop more willpower, resist their urges, or simply think differently. But porn cravin
166: Prodependence vs. Codependency | Porn Addiction, Betrayal Trauma & Relationship Recovery with Dr. Rob Weiss
What happens to a marriage when porn addiction, sexual betrayal, secrecy, and broken trust have changed the way two people relate to each other? And is codependency always the best framework for understanding the betrayed spouse—or could there be a healthier way to think about love, attachment, and relationship recovery?In this episode of the No More Desire Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Rob Weiss t
165: Fatherhood and Porn Addiction Recovery | How Your Healing Can Change the Next Generation
Porn addiction recovery is about more than learning how to stop watching porn. Over time, I have come to believe that real recovery asks a much deeper question: What kind of man am I becoming?In this conversation with Chris Bruno on The Restorative Man Podcast, I share parts of my own story with pornography addiction, anxiety, perfectionism, emotional avoidance, marriage, and fatherhood. We explor
164: Why Your Past Matters if You Want to Quit Porn | The Neuroscience of Storywork and 7 Ways to Heal Porn Addiction
What does your past have to do with porn addiction recovery?Maybe you’ve wondered why you need to dig into your childhood, emotions, family relationships, or old wounds when the problem seems simple: you want to quit porn.I understand that question. But the deeper I’ve gone in my own recovery—and the more men I’ve worked with—the more convinced I’ve become that pornography addiction is rarely just
163: When Your Son Starts Masturbating | How to Respond Without Shame & Guide Healthy Sexuality With Sam Jolman
What should you do when your son starts masturbating? How do you talk about masturbation without creating shame, fear, secrecy, or confusion—and how can that conversation help him develop a healthier relationship with sexuality, pornography, and his own emotions?In this episode, I sit down again with therapist and author Sam Jolman to talk about one of the most uncomfortable topics many parents fa
162: How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex Without Shame | Healthy Sexuality, Porn Exposure & Healing Purity Culture with Sam Jolman
How do you talk to your kids about sex without creating fear, shame, or secrecy—especially if your own sexual story was shaped by purity culture, pornography, or years of confusion?In this episode, I sit down with therapist and author Sam Jolman, author of The Sex Talk You Never Got, to talk about helping our kids develop a healthy relationship with sexuality. But this conversation goes much deepe
161: Why Porn Addiction Feels Like Connection: The Neuroscience of Loneliness, Attachment & Pseudo-Joy With Chris Coursey
Porn addiction and loneliness are often more connected than we realize. What feels like a powerful sexual craving may sometimes be your brain reaching for something deeper: connection, belonging, emotional relief, or the experience of feeling wanted and known.In this episode, I sit down with Chris Coursey of Thrive Today to explore why pornography can begin to feel like a form of connection—and wh
160: Replacing the Need for Orgasm | How Porn Addiction Twists Natural Desire Into Sexual Dependence
If you feel like you need to orgasm before you can focus, relax, sleep, or get on with your life, there may be more happening beneath that sexual craving than you realize.For much of my teenage years and twenties, I lived in a cycle of wanting orgasm, experiencing it, and then waiting for the desire to build all over again. If I went several days without release, I felt distracted, preoccupied, an
159: Porn Addiction, Narcissism & the Crisis of Connection: Why Men Feel So Alone With Chuck DeGroat
What if some of the pull toward porn addiction isn’t just about sexual desire—but about loneliness, disconnection, and a deeper longing to feel known?In this episode, I sit down with therapist, author, and professor Chuck DeGroat for a conversation about porn addiction, narcissism, shame, loneliness, healthy masculinity, and what Chuck calls the growing crisis of connection in our culture.One of t
158: Why Porn Cravings Aren’t Really Sexual: The Hidden Emotions Behind Pornography Addiction
Have you ever wondered why your porn cravings can feel so intensely sexual—even when you just had sex, genuinely want to quit porn, or know that acting on the craving will hurt you?One of the most important things I’ve learned in porn addiction recovery is that many cravings aren’t really about sex at all.They’re emotional.Pressure. Loneliness. Shame. Fear. Inadequacy. Sadness. Anger. Disconnectio
157: Why Father Wounds Can Fuel Porn Addiction: The Emotional Story Behind Sexual Cravings (with Chris Bruno)
Father wounds and childhood emotional neglect can shape porn addiction in ways many men do not recognize. You may believe you simply have a problem with lust or self-control, while pornography has quietly become a way to manage loneliness, powerlessness, shame, stress, or a deeper hunger to feel like you have what it takes.In this episode, I sit down with Chris Bruno, founder of Restoration Projec
156: How Neurodivergence Shaped My Porn Addiction—and Eventually Became a Strength | Exploring Perfectionism, Emotional Overwhelm, and Why Sensitive, Driven Men Turn to Escape
What if some of the traits that make porn addiction harder to overcome—perfectionism, emotional intensity, anxiety, hyperfocus, sensitivity, and relentless drive—could eventually become strengths in your recovery?In this episode, I’m sharing a conversation from when I joined Ania Hulsman on her podcast, Neurodivergent Unplugged. We dig into my personal history with neurodivergence and porn addicti
155: The Anger Beneath Porn Addiction: How Resentment Fuels Cravings, and Forgiveness Helps You Break Free With Brant Hansen
What if your porn cravings are not only about sexual desire—but also about anger, resentment, stress, and emotions you have never learned how to process?For much of my life, simmering anger and frequent porn cravings were both part of my internal baseline. I treated them as separate struggles. Eventually, I began to recognize that they were often connected to the same deeper emotional pressure.In
154: Why Boredom Feels So Dangerous When You’re Quitting Porn — And 5 Ways to Use It as a Secret Weapon
One of the biggest surprises I see in porn addiction recovery is that many men aren't actually defeated by their cravings, they're defeated by boredom.The moment life slows down, the urges show up. You're home alone. The house is quiet. Your schedule opens up. Suddenly your mind starts wandering, fantasies begin creeping in, and it feels like you're fighting yourself all over a
153: ADHD, Dopamine, and Porn Addiction: How to Finally Work With Your Brain Instead of Against It
Do you ever feel unfocused, unmotivated, distracted, restless, or disconnected from the life you actually want to live? Do you have a deep desire to build something meaningful, show up with more discipline, and finally break free from porn addiction, but it feels like your brain keeps getting in the way?In this episode of the No More Desire Podcast, I sit down with Ania Hulsman, a peak performance
152: Is Your Smartphone Training You to Be Addicted to Porn? How Technology Hijacks Dopamine, Presence, and Real Connection
What if your smartphone is quietly keeping you stuck in pornography addiction? And not just because of the access, but something much deeper?Most men who are trying to overcome porn addiction focus on the obvious problem: the relapse, the secrecy, the shame, the loss of confidence, the damage to marriage, and the spiritual weight that comes after giving in again.And yes, porn has to be addressed d
151: Why So Many Men Struggle to Love, Connect, and Feel Their Emotions | The Hidden Roots of Addiction and Relationship Pain (With Dr. Eddie Capparucci)
Do you ever feel like you genuinely want connection, but somehow keep finding yourself disconnected?You want to be close to your wife. You want deeper relationships. You want to feel connected to God. You want to be emotionally present with your children. You want to overcome pornography addiction and become the man you know you are capable of being.Yet when life becomes painful, stressful, overwh
150: Why Recovery Motivation Fades (And How to Rebuild It) Using the 4 P’s of Motivation to Stay Sober from Porn
Why does recovery motivation disappear so quickly after a relapse?Most men know exactly what they don't want. They don't want to watch porn. They don't want to relapse. They don't want to feel shame, anxiety, depression, or disappointment.But knowing what you don't want is not the same thing as being motivated by what you do want.In this episode, I break down one of the bi
149: The Real Reason You Feel Disconnected From Your Wife | How Avoidant Men Often Marry Anxious Women, and Reversing The Cycle That Destroys Relationships With Tyler Patrick
Do you feel disconnected from your wife, even though you genuinely want to be close to her?For many men in pornography addiction recovery, one of the most painful parts of the journey is not only stopping porn. It is learning how to rebuild trust, emotional safety, and real connection in marriage. You may want to listen, love, repair, and show up well, but still feel like your wife does not trust
148: How Masculine Leadership Helps Men Quit Porn and Rebuild Trust in Marriage
Many men trying to overcome porn addiction believe recovery is mainly about stopping the behavior. Stop watching porn. Stop relapsing. Stop lying. Stop hurting your wife. And of course, those things matter.But long-term porn addiction recovery is about more than quitting porn. It is about becoming the kind of man who no longer needs porn to escape pain, feel powerful, avoid responsibility, or find
147: How Internet Porn Rewires the Male Brain: PIED, Porn Addiction, and Real Recovery (with Noah B.E. Church)
In this episode, I sit down with Noah B.E. Church, author of Wack: Addicted to Internet Porn, to talk about how internet porn rewires the male brain, contributes to porn-induced erectile dysfunction, and trains men away from real intimacy.Noah shares his personal story of early exposure to internet porn, escalation, PIED, and the long road back to healthy sexuality. We discuss why so many men can
146: Why Perfectionism Keeps You Addicted to Porn: The OCD-Like Loop of Escape, Fixation, and Control
Most men think porn addiction is only about sexual desire, lust, or lack of discipline. But after working with men for years—and walking through my own recovery—I’ve seen something deeper.Many men who struggle with porn addiction also struggle with perfectionism, anxiety, overthinking, obsessive thought patterns, and OCD-like symptoms. They replay conversations, worry about what others think, feel
145: The Addictive Part of Your Mind Isn’t Evil: How IFS Helps Heal Porn Addiction from the Inside Out with Conor McMillen
It’s easy to believe the part of us that pulls us toward porn addiction is evil. We condemn it, suppress it, shame it, and try to control it. But often, that inner war only keeps the cycle of porn cravings, relapse, and self-hatred alive.In this episode, I sit down with Conor McMillen to discuss how IFS for porn addiction can help men understand the addictive part of the mind with more calm, curio
144: Why Porn Addiction Destroys Trust in Marriage—and How Men Can Rebuild Real Connection
Porn addiction does not just damage sexual integrity. It damages trust, emotional safety, emotional intimacy, and the ability to be fully known in marriage.In this episode of No More Desire, I talk about how porn addiction affects marriage, why it creates emotional distance from your wife, and what it actually takes to rebuild trust after porn addiction.Many men who struggle with porn addiction do
143: The Secret Life of Porn Addiction: How Silence and Shame Keep Men Stuck (with Todd Smithson)
Most men struggling with porn addiction aren’t bad men.They’re men with values—who care about their families, their faith, and the life they want to live. But somewhere along the way, they learned to stay silent. That silence turns into secrecy… and secrecy turns into a double life.In this episode, I sit down with my friend Todd Smithson to talk about porn addiction, sexual shame, and what it real
142: Why Your Sex Drive May Not Be the Problem | Diet, Cravings, and Porn Recovery
A lot of men assume their struggle is just about having a high sex drive. But in many cases, the real issue goes deeper. In this episode, I explore the connection between diet and porn addiction, brain health and addiction, and why porn cravings are often intensified by stress, dysregulation, poor nutrition, and a depleted internal environment.For years, I lived with anxiety, brain fog, overwhelm,
141: The Purpose of Painful Emotion | Why You Can’t Quit Porn—and the Emotional Healing Path Forward (with Jenna Riemersma)
In this episode, I sit down with Jenna Riemersma to talk about something I believe many men in porn addiction recovery need to understand: the role painful emotions play in keeping us stuck.Most men trying to overcome porn addiction think the answer is more discipline, control, and resistance. But in my own life and in the lives of the men I work with, I’ve seen that the deeper issue is often not
140: How Gut Health Is Driving Your Porn Addiction: The Gut-Brain Connection Explained
Most men think porn addiction is a discipline problem. They believe that if they could just be stronger, more focused, more in control… they would finally quit porn and break free from the cycle of relapse.But what if that’s not the real problem?What if your cravings for porn aren’t just psychological… but biological?In this episode, I break down one of the most overlooked drivers of porn addictio
138: Heat, Cold, and Breath: How to Train Your Brain to Stop Escaping Into Porn and Stop Fearing Cravings
Most men trying to quit porn are fighting the wrong battle.They think the solution is more discipline, more willpower, more control. But if you’ve ever found yourself asking “Why can’t I stop watching porn?” or “Why do I keep relapsing?”—this episode will challenge everything you think you know about porn addiction recovery.Because the real issue isn’t just behavior. It’s your nervous system.In to
137: The Inner War That Keeps You Stuck in Porn Addiction | Why Grace Changes Everything (With Jonathan Daugherty)
Many men who want to overcome porn addiction assume the solution is simple: more discipline, more willpower, more control. If they could just be stronger, they believe they would finally stop watching porn and break free from the cycle of relapse. But pornography addiction is rarely just a battle of discipline. For most men, the deeper struggle is an inner war—a conflict between the man they want
136: The Overstimulated Man: How Modern Life Fuels Porn Addiction, Brain Fog, and Low Motivation
There was a time in my life when I felt like I was living at half capacity.I had ambition, purpose, and dreams about the man I wanted to become—but my daily reality didn’t match that vision. My focus was scattered. My motivation was unreliable. My mind often felt foggy, restless, and distracted.For years, I believed the problem was simple: porn addiction.Pornography seemed like the obvious cause o
135: The Sexual Scripts You Didn’t Choose (But Have Been Living From) | Breaking Sexual Conditioning and Porn Addiction
Most men believe their porn addiction defines them.They think, Why am I turned on by this? Why does my brain go here? Why can’t I stop watching porn?Underneath those questions is shame.But here’s what I want you to understand: you didn’t consciously choose your sexual scripts. Your nervous system learned them. Your brain absorbed them. Your body stored them. And what was conditioned can be retrain
134: The Unconscious Mind Behind Porn Addiction: Shame, Generational Trauma, Mother & Father Wounds, and Healing at the Root (with Michael H. Hallett)
What if porn addiction isn’t actually about sex?What if the real issue isn’t lust… or self-control… or willpower?What if porn is a signal — pointing to something deeper in your unconscious mind?In this episode, I sit down with Michael Hallett to explore the root causes of porn addiction through the lens of shame, generational trauma, and the often-overlooked mother and father wounds that shape our
133: Why You Don’t “Need” Release | Libido, Nervous System Regulation, and the Hidden Psychology Behind Sexual Compulsion
Most men believe a dangerous lie:“If I feel aroused, I need release.”In this episode, I challenge that belief head-on.If you’ve ever struggled with porn addiction, compulsive masturbation, or overwhelming sexual urges that feel impossible to control, this conversation will change the way you understand your body and your mind.You don’t “need” release.What you’re experiencing is nervous system acti
132: Why Objectification Isn’t About Lust: Porn, Power, Pain, and the Fear of Vulnerability | The Deep Psychology Behind Men's Tendency to Objectify Women
Most men believe porn addiction and objectification come from having too much sexual desire.That explanation feels convenient—but it’s incomplete. And for many men, it keeps them stuck.In this episode of No More Desire, I break down the real psychology of objectification and explain how porn trains men to avoid vulnerability—not because they’re weak or immoral, but because their nervous system lea
131: The Neuroscience of Porn Addiction: Bringing the Nervous System Into Calm With The "3 Brains" Approach - How the Brain, Heart, and Gut All Help You Recover
Why do so many men keep relapsing into porn—even when they genuinely want recovery?Why does willpower work for a while… and then completely fall apart under stress, loneliness, or exhaustion?In this episode, I’m breaking down one of the most important truths men need to understand if they want to overcome porn addiction for good:Porn addiction is not a willpower problem. It’s a nervous system prob
130: Porn Addiction Recovery Without Shame: Stop Hating Yourself and Start Healing
What if porn addiction recovery feels painful not because you’re failing—but because the way you’ve been taught to understand addiction is fundamentally flawed?For many men, trying to quit porn doesn’t feel empowering. It feels humiliating. It feels like staring straight at everything you believe is broken, defective, or dangerous about you.I know this feeling personally—because I lived it for yea
129: The “Peacemaker” Part of You Is Driving Porn Use—And It’s Not Your Enemy
Most men believe porn addiction is driven by lust, temptation, or a lack of discipline.But what if that’s not the real problem?In this episode of No More Desire, I challenge one of the most common—and damaging—assumptions in porn addiction recovery: that the part of you that turns to porn is bad, broken, or sinful.What I’ve discovered through my own recovery, and through working with men across th
128: The Beliefs You Must Let Go of Before You Can Quit Porn | Why Painful Emotions and Unconscious Beliefs Are the Real Trailheads to Sobriety
Is it possible to quit porn by changing your beliefs?Can you overcome porn addiction—not through willpower or positive thinking—but by going deeper into the painful emotions and unconscious beliefs that actually drive the habit?In this episode, I challenge the popular idea that you can “just believe differently” or manifest your way out of porn addiction. While mindset does matter, most advice abo
127: Trauma, Porn, and Same-Sex Attraction in Men | Navigating Identity Confusion, Emotional Neglect, and Feeling Like "I Don't Belong" (with Jordan Castille)
Most men think porn addiction is about lust, lack of discipline, or not wanting freedom badly enough.It’s not.In this episode of the No More Desire Podcast, I sit down with Jordan Castille, a coach who works with men navigating pornography addiction, shame, and same-sex attraction, to have a conversation most recovery spaces still avoid.We talk about how bullying, rejection, and emotional trauma c
126: Grieving Your Porn Addiction: The Unexpected Emotional Process You Must Go Through and the Step Most Porn Recovery Programs Miss
If you’ve ever said to yourself, “Porn ruined my life” — but still find yourself going back to it — this episode is for you.For years, I believed quitting porn was about discipline, willpower, and avoiding temptation. But what I eventually discovered — both in my own recovery and in my work with men — is that porn addiction isn’t just about pleasure. It’s about attachment. And often, it’s an attac
125: Why You Can’t Stay Hard: Porn, Performance Anxiety & Rewiring Your Brain | Reclaim Confidence, Sexual Presence, and Real Intimacy (with Shay Doran)
"Why can’t I stay hard?"It’s one of the most painful, confusing, and silent questions men carry — and one that too many men are afraid to ask out loud.If you’ve ever lost your erection during sex, if you’ve ever felt performance anxiety take over your body, if you can get aroused with porn but struggle with a real partner, or if you’ve wondered whether porn addiction has rewired your bra
124: Men, Emotions, and Porn Addiction: Reclaiming Masculinity Without Shame (with Rich Savoy)
Most men don’t struggle with porn addiction because they lack discipline.They struggle because they were never taught how to understand, regulate, or work with their emotions.In this episode, I sit down with Rich Savoy—a coach, leader with Husband Material, and longtime mentor to men—to have one of the most honest conversations I’ve ever had about men, emotions, masculinity, and porn addiction rec
123: From Dopamine Overload to Deep Presence: A Science-Based Path to Breaking Porn Addiction
When I first started building a real recovery lifestyle, I believed the answer to breaking porn addiction was more control — more discipline, more structure, more “push harder.”But the truth is, that mindset only kept me trapped in dopamine overload, emotional numbness, and a constant battle against myself.In this episode, I sit down with my friend Jeremy Lipkowitz — former Buddhist monk, mindfuln
122: Why You Can’t “Just Stop”: Porn Addiction, Your Nervous System, and Polyvagal Theory Explained
If you’ve ever wondered why you can’t “just stop” watching porn—why you cycle through cravings, shame, self-promises, and relapse—this episode will change the way you see your struggle forever. Because the truth is, porn addiction is not a willpower problem. It’s a nervous system problem.In this episode, I’m joined by my friend and colleague Chris Chandler, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSA
121: Porn Addiction and Emotional Numbness: How Disconnection from Your Body Keeps You Stuck in Addiction
If you’ve ever wondered why you feel numb, disconnected, or unable to access the full depth of your emotions—this episode may hit closer to home than anything you’ve heard before.In today’s episode, I dig into one of the most overlooked factors in porn addiction recovery: your relationship with your physical body. We talk about why so many men feel emotionally flat, why empathy feels harder than i
120: Male Sexual Abuse, Shame, and Porn Addiction: A Recovery Roadmap with Dr. Doug Carpenter
Most men battling porn addiction think their problem is “lust,” “self-control,” or “not being disciplined enough.” But for millions of men, the real issue is something far deeper—and far more common—than they realize.In this powerful and eye-opening episode, I sit down with Dr. Doug Carpenter, licensed psychologist and author of the groundbreaking book Secret Shame, to uncover the hidden link betw
119: Doing vs. Being: The Missing Key to Porn Recovery
Do you ever feel like your mind just won’t stop racing?Like you’re constantly doing—working, scrolling, thinking, striving—but rarely being present?If you’ve ever felt trapped in busyness, anxiety, or mental chaos, this episode might be one of the most important you’ll ever hear.In this solo episode, I explore one of the most overlooked truths about porn addiction recovery: your addiction isn’t ju
118: Breaking the Dopamine Cycle: Tech Addiction, Porn, and the War for Your Attention
What if the real reason you can’t stop watching porn… isn’t porn itself?In this episode of the No More Desire Podcast, I dive deep into the hidden connection between tech addiction, dopamine, and porn addiction recovery — and why constant distraction may be the true enemy of your freedom.We live in a world built to hijack your attention. From smartphones and social media to the endless scroll of e
117: Mindfulness Over Willpower: Ending Porn Addiction Through Self-Awareness and Compassion — A Buddhist Approach to Healing Addiction and Shame
When I first began my recovery journey, I believed the answer to ending porn addiction was more control — more willpower, more discipline, more “try harder.”But the truth is, that mindset only deepened my shame and made me fight harder against myself.In this episode, I sit down with Jeremy Lipkowitz — a former Buddhist monk, mindfulness teacher, and founder of The Unhooked Academy — to explore a r
116: How to Support a Partner Struggling with Addiction (Without Losing Yourself to Betrayal Trauma)
When you love someone who’s caught in addiction—whether it’s porn, alcohol, or anything else that numbs pain—the chaos doesn’t just stay with them. It spills into your relationship, your emotions, and even your identity.In this episode of The No More Desire Podcast, I sit down with Holly Thornton, author of The Hardest Help, who’s lived through the agony of betrayal trauma, manipulation, and loss—
115: Emotional Intelligence and Porn Addiction Recovery — How to Master Your Emotions, Heal Conflict, and Deepen Intimacy in Marriage
Recovering from porn isn’t just a mental game—it’s an emotional one.In this episode, I’m breaking down the powerful connection between emotional intelligence and porn addiction recovery, and showing you how learning to master your emotions can transform your marriage, your communication, and your ability to stay sober for good.Most men try to “think” their way out of porn addiction, but relapse do
114: Raising Kids with Fearless Sexuality | Teaching Sexual Wholeness Without Shame in a Porn-Filled World (with Taylor Chambers)
As a parent, one of the hardest questions you’ll ever face is this: How do I teach my kids about sex in a porn-filled world—without using fear, shame, or silence?In this episode, I sit down with Taylor Chambers, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder of The Good and The Free, to talk about what it really means to raise porn-resilient kids and model fearless sexuality—not just for
113: Men’s Guide to Stopping Porn Urges: Mindfulness, Parts Work, and RAIL
If you’ve ever felt powerless in the face of porn cravings, you’re not alone. For years, I thought my urges were proof that I was broken—that I didn’t have the self-control or strength to stay sober. The truth is, cravings are not your enemy. They’re signals from your brain and body that point to deeper emotions like fear, shame, grief, or loneliness. And when you learn how to respond to them with
112: Heal Your Body, Heal Your Desire: How Foods Shape Your Recovery
When I first started my journey to overcome porn addiction, I thought it was all about willpower, accountability, and prayer. But what I didn’t realize was that what I was putting into my body was fueling my cravings, my anxiety, and even my relapses.In this episode, I open up about the surprising connection between nutrition and porn addiction recovery—how the foods you eat shape your mood, your
111: Why High-Achieving Men Get Addicted to Porn | How Emotional Intensity Drives Cravings—and How to Harness Your Perfectionistic Mind for Lasting Recovery
Why is it that so many high-achieving men—men who value discipline, morality, and service—secretly struggle with porn addiction? On the surface, it doesn’t make sense. How can a man who leads, provides, and sacrifices also be the same man sneaking away to watch porn in the dark?In this episode, I uncover the paradox of the high-achiever and porn addiction. I’ll show you why high-achieving men are
110: What Your Sexual Fantasies Are Really Trying to Tell You | The Surprising Way to Heal Porn Addiction (with Drew Boa)
What if your sexual fantasies weren’t the enemy, but the key to your healing?In this powerful episode of the No More Desire Podcast, I sit down with my friend and fellow recovery leader Drew Boa, author of Outgrow Porn, to uncover what your sexual fantasies are really trying to tell you—and how to use them as a surprising pathway to heal porn addiction.Most men believe that the way to stop porn is
109: From Stuck to Free—The 2 Recovery Mindset Elements That Most People Overlook
Most men try to quit porn by relying on sheer willpower, white-knuckling it, or living in constant fear of relapse. I know, because I tried that too. The problem is, a fear-based recovery mindset only fuels more cravings and keeps you stuck in the shame cycle.In this episode of No More Desire, I reveal the 2 recovery mindset elements that almost every man overlooks—but that can completely transfor
108: Why Positive Thinking Isn’t Enough to Beat Porn Addiction—And What Works Instead
When I was stuck in porn addiction, I kept hearing the same advice: “Just be more positive. Believe in yourself. Visualize your freedom.” But here’s the problem—positive thinking alone doesn’t heal porn addiction. In fact, it often makes things worse.In this episode, I dive deep into the psychology, neuroscience, and spirituality of why forcing yourself to “just think positive” can actually increa
107: How Negative Thinking Fuels Porn Addiction—Shame, the Brain & the Habit Loop
When I was deep in my porn addiction, I thought the biggest problem I had was desire. But over time, I discovered the real enemy was the constant storm of negative thinking in my own head—shame, self-doubt, anxiety, and a relentless inner critic that kept me trapped in the habit loop.In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on how negative thinking actively fuels porn addiction, why it’s more
106: What Most Recovery Programs Miss | The Inner War That Keeps You Addicted to Porn—And How to End It
When you’re stuck in porn addiction, it often feels like there’s a war going on inside your own mind.One part of you wants to be strong, productive, loving, and aligned with your values. The other part just wants comfort, ease, and escape. Most recovery programs tell you to kill off the "bad" part. To deny it, starve it, or fight it.But what if that approach is actually fueling your addi
105: The Porn Trap: Why Pain, Not Pleasure, Keeps You Addicted (with Chandler Rogers)
If you’ve ever felt like your porn addiction makes no sense—like you’re a good man, doing your best, yet you keep falling into the same cycle—this episode will hit home.In today’s conversation, I sit down with Chandler Rogers, founder of the Relay app, to unpack why it’s not actually pleasure that keeps you stuck in the addiction cycle… it’s pain. Specifically, it’s the pain you haven’t been taugh
104: (Pt. 3) Why Sex in Marriage Triggers Porn Cravings | How to Rewire Your Brain for Healthy, Connected Sex
This is Part 3 of this series—and today, we’re getting into the best part:How to actually heal and transform sex in marriage from a painful trigger for porn cravings into a sacred, joyful connection.If you’ve listened to Parts 1 and 2, you know we’ve covered:Why sex in marriage can sometimes feel like a relapseHow porn rewires your brain’s sexual pathwaysThe neuroscience and psychology behind emot
103: (Pt. 2) Why Sex in Marriage Triggers Porn Cravings | Rewire Your Brain for Healthy, Connected Sex Using Principles of Neuroscience and Faith
Today we’re heading into the deep end of a conversation most men never get to have—but desperately need.Why does sex with your wife sometimes feel like a porn relapse instead of the healing, intimate connection you long for?If you’ve ever felt:Triggered by sex with your spouseOverwhelmed by cravings for porn after marital intimacyDisconnected and guilty about sex even though you’re marriedSpiritua
102: Why Sex in Marriage Triggers Porn Cravings (Part 1) | Rewire Your Brain for Healthy, Connected Sex Using Principles of Neuroscience and Faith
Today, we’re diving into a topic that might just feel like the elephant in the room for countless men trying to stay free from porn:Why does sex in marriage sometimes trigger porn cravings… instead of satisfying them?If you’ve ever thought:“Shouldn’t sex with my wife help me fight porn cravings—not make them worse?”“Why do I feel guilty, disconnected, or even triggered after marital sex?”“Am I bro
101: Sexual Desire Isn’t Sin | The Conversation Christian Men Are Afraid to Have
A raw, redemptive conversation with Tina Huggins about healing religious sexual shame, restoring trust in marriage, and breaking the real roots of porn addiction. What if your deepest struggle with porn addiction isn’t about lust—but about unhealed shame?In this episode of the No More Desire podcast, host Jake Kastleman sits down with Tina Huggins, a restorative family mediator and certified divor
100: My Real Rock Bottom—Years After I Got Sober | And How Obsession with Perfection Nearly Ruined My Recovery
We often think of a rock bottom story as the moment someone relapses, destroys their marriage, or hits crisis during active addiction. But what if rock bottom doesn’t come at the start of recovery? What if it shows up years after sobriety, long after you’ve quit porn?In this raw and deeply personal episode, I share the story of my real rock bottom—a collapse that came after I had overcome porn, bu
99: Self-Inflicted Sexual Trauma of Porn Addiction and Masturbation | Learning to Love Yourself Again So You Can Have a Healthy Sexual Relationship with Your Wife
Do you feel sexually broken from years of porn addiction and compulsive masturbation? Like you've damaged your body, your mind, and your marriage—and there’s no way back?In this episode of the No More Desire podcast, Jake Kastleman explores the reality of self-inflicted sexual trauma and what it truly takes to overcome porn addiction. You’ll learn how to stop watching porn, confront your sham
98: Porn and Pixels: The Hidden Link Between Video Games and Porn Addiction
Is your gaming habit quietly fueling your porn addiction? In this episode of No More Desire, Jake Kastleman explores the surprising neurological and psychological overlap between video games and porn use. Drawing from real neuroscience, addiction psychology, and philosophical insight, this solo episode breaks down why so many men stuck in compulsive porn cycles also spend hours gaming—and how both
97: Why She’s Pissed Off & Turned Off—and How to Fix It | This Masculine Blueprint Is Helping Men End Porn Addiction and Save Their Marriages (with GS Youngblood)
If your wife seems pissed off and turned off—constantly irritated, emotionally distant, and disinterested in sex—you’re not alone. For many men, this emotional tension fuels the desire to escape into porn. But what if the real issue isn’t her moods... but your missing leadership?In this episode, Jake Kastleman is joined by men’s coach and author GS Youngblood to help you fix your relationship, ove
96: The Subtle Lies That Keep You Relapsing | Exposing the Mental Traps and False Beliefs That Sabotage Porn Addiction Recovery
Why do you keep relapsing with porn—even when you want to quit?In this episode of the No More Desire addiction recovery podcast, I uncover the hidden mental traps and false beliefs that sabotage your efforts to quit porn and stay sober for good. We’ll dig into the inner critic and inner escapist—two misunderstood parts of your psyche that actually think they’re helping you, but are keeping you stu
95: Addiction, Identity, and the Illusion of Brokenness: Jason Shiers on Childhood Trauma, Secret Shame in Recovery, and What Real Healing Looks Like
In today’s powerful conversation, I welcome psychotherapist and Infinite Recovery Project founder Jason Shiers. Jason shares his deeply personal story of addiction, trauma, and his 20+ year journey through recovery — before a radical spiritual awakening changed everything.Together, Jason and I dive into:Why trauma is often the hidden root of addiction.How traditional recovery models pathologize no
94: From Half a Husband to a Whole Marriage | How to Rebuild Trust After Porn Addiction and Betrayal
Can a marriage truly heal after porn addiction and betrayal trauma? In this powerful episode of The No More Desire Podcast, host Jake Kastleman sits down with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith—coaches, authors, and a couple who’ve walked the road from addiction and deception to deep connection and true intimacy.👉 Grab your FREE DOWNLOAD of The 8 Tools to Heal from Porn Addiction & Betrayal Trauma H
93: The #1 Daily Habit That’s Helping My Clients Quit Porn
Struggling to quit porn, control your cravings, or stay sober long-term?In this episode, I share one of the most powerful—but often overlooked—tools for porn addiction recovery: gratitude.Learn how daily gratitude can:Rewire your brain using neuroplasticityReduce porn cravings by activating your prefrontal cortexReplace the shame cycle with emotional clarity and purposeBuild a lasting recovery min
92: How One Man Stayed Sober While Alone and in Pain: What His Story Teaches Us About Porn Addiction Recovery
What happens when you're stuck at home, in pain, and totally alone? For most men recovering from porn addiction, that’s the ultimate relapse setup.But for Steve, a client in my recovery program, this moment of isolation became the most spiritually grounded, mentally focused, and connected time of his life.In this episode, I share the story of how Steve stayed sober after surgery while his wif
91: How to Replace Porn Addiction | Gain Motivation, Reduce Symptoms of Anxiety & Depression, Build Focus & Attention, Beat the Addictive Mindset, and Be the Husband Your Wife Needs
How can you replace porn addiction? The answer is not a mystery. Essentially, it requires you to build the skills of a porn addiction recovery mindset and lifestyle. It also requires consistency.If recovery were a car, these recovery skills would be the engine, and consistency would be the fuel. You can rewire your brain and stop watching porn using these skills and this consistency.You may have a
90: The Neuroscience of Quitting Porn | Build a New Brain By Changing Habit Patterns, Fixing Dopamine, Altering Nutrition, Transforming Identity, and Finding Deeper Meaning
My conversation today is with George Haymaker. We discuss the neuroscience of quitting porn and other addictions, and how to change habit patterns and rewire your brain. George is an inspiring man with an incredible story. He’s helped many people heal their brains and change their habits for the better. He is a certified neuroscience coach & consultant, and an impressive entrepreneur with a lo
89: Recovery Mindset for Vacations | 4 Keys to Stay Sober from Porn During and After Travel
It can be very hard for many men to stay sober from porn on vacations - both during and after. We are thrown out of our structure and norm, and many of us can feel far more impulsive and prone towards porn addiction. This can seem counterintuitive, as you'd think that vacation and travel would make it easier to stay sober. I talk about why this is not the case for many people, why post-vacati
88: How Do I Stop My Husband from Watching Porn? | How to Help Your Husband Quit Porn, Heal Yourself, and Break Free From the Lies
When your husband is addicted to porn, you can feel powerless to stop it. You may ask: How do I stop my husband from watching porn? Is there something I can say or do that will convince him? If only I could find the right words, maybe he would finally feel motivated and stop hurting me and our family like this. Anger and feeling the impulse to control him is normal. Feeling judgmental, hateful, a
87: Self-Control & Porn Addiction | Why Willpower Always Fails & the 3 Pillars to Quit Porn Successfully
There are a lot of voices out there telling you that all you need to quit porn addiction is more discipline. They say you just have to want it bad enough, fight hard enough, and exert enough self-control. But if you’ve ever tried to stop watching porn using willpower alone, you already know—it doesn’t work. In fact, relying on willpower actually fuels porn addiction. Today, I’m going to show you w
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