Full-Time Grievers
Full-Time Grievers is a deep dive into the turbulent waters of losing a loved one. Grief can be so isolating. This podcast provides companionship and comfort to fellow grievers, and guidance to those who are supporting a full-time griever. Join cofounder of the Center for Emotional Education and Grief Support Specialist, Nathan M McTague, in exploring the complexities, personal stories, and practical tools of being with grief.
Episodes
Ep. 35 Grief and Loneliness
You can be in a room full of people who love you and still feel like you're on a different planet. Close enough to touch, but not really reachable.If you've felt that in your grief, you're not imagining it, and you're not the only one…In this episode, Nathan looks at why grief becomes so isolating, even when we're surrounded by support.You can download your free grief journal
Ep. 34 Grief Confessional: I’m F*¢%ing Pissed
This one doesn't come with answers – just anger. The kind that doesn't usually get invited into grief conversations.One listener writes about the rage that showed up when they weren't expecting it. Not just sadness, not only longing, but the kind of fury that wants to lash out at a world that keeps moving after their person died. It's unfiltered. It's honest. And it deserved to be heard exactly as
Ep. 33 Minisode: Before You Reply...
You get a text. It's probably fine. But somehow your whole body says, “I cannot deal with this right now…”.This minisode is for that moment: when your brain-on-grief meets your inbox and loses. In acute and active grief, our Executive bandwidth is heavily taxed. Attention, memory, decision-making, and language are all running on reduced capacity. So when a text comes in – even a well-meaning o
Ep. 32 Karen Hollenbeck: At the Intersection of Life and Death
As a paramedic for over 15 years, and now as a sound therapist and Reiki practitioner – Karen Hollenbeck supports those near death and those having to survive their loved one’s death. She's also a fellow Full-Time Griever, navigating the death of two brothers, among others close to her, all passing within a few years.In this conversation, Karen and Nathan talk about what it's like to suppo
Ep. 31 The Invisible Concussion of Grief
In this episode, Nathan describes the functional parallel between the experience of acute grief and the documented symptoms of traumatic brain injury.The cognitive fog. The bone-deep exhaustion. The emotional volatility, the strange relationship to time, the inability to make decisions or hold a conversation – all of it has a neurological basis.Drawing on the neuroscientific research of Mary-Franc
Ep. 30 Grief Confessional: I Miss My Brother
Sometimes grief feels like reality glitched — and you’re the only one who noticed… The Grief Confessionals is a new minisode format.Raw pieces of grief – written by real people and read without commentary or advice.Just truth being witnessed.In this first confessional, Nathan shares a reflection from “the Broken-Hearted Twin” on losing their brother, and the strange, persistent sense that reality
Ep. 29 You’re Not the Same — and You’re Not Supposed to Be
Grief doesn’t just hurt – it changes who we are.In this episode, Nathan names an experience most grievers have, but very few expect — after loss, you may not recognize yourself. Your values and priorities shift.Your capacity changes.Your motivation gets weird.Your sense of belonging rearranges.And on top of everything else, our culture pressures us to “get back to normal” – as if we’re supposed to
Ep. 28 Minisode: Sitting with Grief
In this minisode of Full-Time Grievers, Nathan M. McTague offers a different approach — not a solution, not a lesson, but a gentle invitation to be with what’s already here.This is a quiet, grounding episode for anyone who needs permission to be with their grief, just as they are.You can listen while resting, walking, or going about your day — and return to it anytime you need a reminder that you’
Ep. 27 10 Things I Don’t Like About Grieving in America
Grief is hard — and in many ways, our culture makes it harder than it needs to be.In this episode of Full-Time Grievers, Nathan M. McTague names ten common ways grieving in America is constrained, misunderstood, or actively complicated — from unrealistic expectations of emotional coherence, or platitudes offered instead of presence, to the pressure to “move on” or return to who you were before los
Ep. 26 Selysa Love on Choosing a Slower Life
Reiki Master, Grief Specialist, Performance Artist, and former Full-Time Grievers CoHost, Selysa Love talks about stepping away from the show and what it took to honour herself and her own growth and healing above all else.To find out more about Selysa's work go here.To see Selysa's TEDx Talk go here.You can download your free grief journal here.Send your Grief Confessional here.And co
Ep. 25 A Seasonal Portal
A threshold episode. Honouring how we began and looking ahead to where Full-Time Grievers is going in Season 2 and beyond. The episode closes with a short grounding practice and a seasonal blessing for anyone moving through grief at the end of the year.You can download your free grief journal here.Send your Grief Confessional here.And contribute to the show here.
Ep. 24 Holidays Hurt: Grieving When Everyone Seems Happy
While the world turns up the sparkle, gatherings increase, and social media floods with picture-perfect celebrations, grief can feel more isolating than ever.In this episode, we explore:💛 How to use the holidays as a potent time for grief work. 💛 Finding your balance between isolation stress and social overwhelm. 💛 The neurochemistry of connection — and how it can soften the season💛 Permission to
Ep. 23 Guided Grief Journaling: Acute Grief in the First Year
Selysa and Nathan offer another session of journal prompts to support the listener in consciously attending to and expressing specific elements of grief. You can pause the episode and write along with each prompt, and/or pick and choose from the options throughout. If you’ve been looking for ways to let more grieving out, this is for you. (Companion to episode 18.)Free Download:
Ep. 22 The Price of Numbness: When You Don’t Grieve
We’ve all said it — “I’m fine.”But what’s the real cost of staying “fine” when we’re not? In this episode, Nathan and Selysa explore the physical, emotional, and relational consequences of suppressed grief — the kind we avoid, bury, or rationalize away.Together, they unpack how grief gets stored in the body, why we sometimes can’t feel until it’s safe to, and how numbness becomes both protection a
Ep. 21 Rebecca Finegloss - Grieve Leave (foundation)
We're back!Nathan and Selysa head into uncharted territory for many full-time grievers – actually having time set aside for grieving. Starting with the concept that writer and grief advocate, Rebecca Finegloss, calls Grieve Leave, and exploring the macro and micro opportunities from there for making time to be with our process, as well as the emotional terrain around it all – this episode is a
Ep. 20 Angry at God, Doctors, or the Dead? Forgiving in Grief
This is the second part of the conversation from episode 16 - You Don’t Owe Forgiveness, so Why Offer it? When someone dies, anger often follows. We can find ourselves blaming doctors, family members, even God—or the person who died. In this episode, we talk about the messy, honest process of acknowledging blame, feeling the anger, and finding our way to forgiveness in grief. Free Download:
Ep. 19 Grieving an Abuser: The Key to Healing?
What happens when the person you're grieving also hurt you?In this episode of Full-Time Grievers, Selysa shares her deeply personal experience navigating grief after ending abusive relationships—including with her parents—and the emotional complexity of mourning people who caused harm. Together with co-host Nathan, they explore what Selysa calls “forbidden grief,” the kind of mourning our cult
Ep. 18 Guided Grief Journaling: Emotional Processing
If you're experiencing acute grief or struggling to process overwhelming emotions, this interactive journaling episode is for you. Selysa & Nathan will gently guide you through a process of identifying, validating, and expressing your feelings. We'll explore the physical manifestations of your emotions and conclude with a moment of comforting self-touch.Free Download: How to Rece
Ep. 17 The Beauty in Grief
Not as a way to side-step or bypass our grief, but sometimes, even as we are allowing, fostering, and following our grieving process, we have moments of also getting to witness profound and moving beauty. Because these moments can happen in between, alongside, or even as a direct result of our mourning, in this episode Nathan and Selysa spend some time talking about how we can allow, welcome, and
Ep. 16 You Don’t Owe Forgiveness - So Why Offer It?
What if forgiveness isn’t something you owe — but something you offer to free yourself? In this episode, we explore forgiveness as a radical act of self-love, not a requirement to reconcile or tolerate mistreatment.We talk about what it means to forgive someone who has died, especially if the relationship was complicated or painful. We also dive into the tender process of forgiving yourself — for
Ep. 15 Grieving Intervals, Orientations, and Tasks
As a companion to Episode 4, Debunking the 5 Stages of Grief, Nathan and Selysa delve into other ways of relating to the different periods and processes in grieving. Drawing from the three intervals and four orientations described in Conscious Grieving by Claire Bidwell Smith, as well as Psychologist J. William Worden’s “4 Tasks of Mourning” framework. A highly useful resource in orienting to your
Ep. 14 When The Support Drops Off: Grieve Out Loud
This episode can help prepare you, the griever, for the inevitable drop in support that will likely happen within six months of your loved one passing away. What do you do when your support system has run out of capacity, but you are still grieving? 1. Kindly communicate that you are still grieving, including boundaries around your time and commitments. 2. Get the support you need in a long term
Ep. 13 Gender Constructs & Grief
Most of us received childhood gender socialization: we were assigned a gender at birth, and we were trained to behave in accordance with that gender’s rules and expectations. Selysa and Nathan unpack the research (and lack thereof) of how this gender conditioning affects the grieving process in individuals, heterosexual couples, and queer relationships. Free Download: How to Receive Supp
Ep. 12 Supporting a Griever
Send this episode to your loved ones who are supporting you while you grieve. Don’t know what to say to someone who is grieving? You don’t need you to. They just need you to be there. Sound easier said than done? Then give this episode a listen. Nathan and Selysa discuss the harm of platitudes, why it's important to bring up the person who passed away, how to identify and meet the needs of the
Ep. 11 Grief's Knots: Unraveling Complicated Loss
Have you ever lost someone you loved, but your relationship was far from perfect? This episode delves into the painful and complex experience of grieving a complicated relationship, whether marked by estrangement, abuse, or a final, devastating argument. We explore the emotional rollercoaster of grief in these circumstances, acknowledging the guilt, anger, and confusion that can arise. We'll
Ep. 10 Full-Time Grievers
Grief isn't a temporary chapter; it's a lifelong companion that constantly evolves. In the immediate aftermath, it can feel like a demanding 120-hour-per-week job. For the rest of your days, you may feel a new form of presence with your departed. Processing your sadness is the key to rediscovering joy and finding meaning in a world that feels irrevocably altered. Join us as we explore th
Ep. 09 Opening to Love from your Departed
In this episode, Selysa and Nathan explore the profound and enduring connection that exists between the living and the deceased through the infinite power of love. This special episode features a guided meditation by Selysa, designed to help you deepen your connection with your departed loved ones through your shared bond of unconditional love. This meditation is most suitable for those who have p
Ep. 08 Guilt, Regret, & What Ifs
Guilt and regret are extremely common feelings that are a part of most grieving processes. These feelings can even come up for those with the most idyllic dying stories: passing away at home from old age surrounded by loved ones. This episode helps listeners to identify what type of guilt they may be experiencing. Nathan & Selysa share their personal experiences navigating and processing gu
Ep. 07 Emotional Overload vs Emotional Processing
Grieving comes with so many different and often intense feelings. Sometimes it’s right for us to engage with those feelings consciously and deeply. Sometimes, for lots of reasons, the feelings can be too intense to engage. Selysa and Nathan talk about why this can happen and what you can do in both cases. This episode takes a close look at some important nervous system and emotion regulation strat
Ep. 06 Waves of Grief, Learning to Surf Emotions
There are many metaphors for the long, deeply personal process of grieving. Using the analogy of ocean tides can be another useful way to relate to the recurring experience of various elements of our grief, including heightened emotion and Survival Mode reactivity that persist or return long after the initial period of mourning. This episode is perfect for those wondering why they “aren’t getting
Ep. 05 Survival Reactivity Before Emotional Response
In the initial period of acute grief following a loved one’s death, many of us experience more frequent and intense Survival Mode reactions along with or instead of intense emotion. We may go into a state of Fight, Flight, Freeze, and/or Appease more regularly or for a sustained period, and feel less sadness, sorrow, or grief than we would otherwise expect. Nathan and Selysa discuss examples of th
Ep. 04 Debunking the 5 Stages of Grief
Selysa and Nathan take a look at the most common (and most famous) misinformation about grieving the death of a loved one: “The 5 Stages of Grief”. Even though Kubler-Ross was studying the terminally ill and what they tend to go through (not bereaved people), and even though she wrote that these stages themselves were not linear – western culture has misappropriated and enshrined this way of rela
Ep. 03 Nathan’s Story: Grieving Edward & Ending Compartmentalization
Nathan shares about working with grief in different ways throughout life. The journey includes compartmentalizing the grief around losing grandparents in younger years, which was finally opened up and explored when Nathan's chosen brother, Edward, passed suddenly in 2023. Nathan shares vital tools for navigating the extreme grief of losing one's closest lifelong companion, confidante, and ally; an
Ep. 02 Selysa’s Story: Complex Grieving of Abusers
Selysa vulnerably shares about her personal relationship with grief, which started at age nine, and continues to this day. She dives into how she healed from losing two abusive parents as an adolescent, as well as several close friends to suicide and overdose as an adult. A hidden blessing she received from grief is peace with her inevitable death because she lives every day in alignment with her
Ep. 01 Receiving Support While Grieving
In this inaugural episode, Founder of the Sacramento Reiki Center, Selysa Love, and cofounder of the Center for Emotional Education, Nathan M McTague, discuss being open to getting help, remembering that (while being alone with our feelings is inevitable and important) we’re not meant to grieve in isolation, keeping in mind that people want to help and many may not know how.
They also walk listen
Introduction
Full-Time Grievers is a deep dive into the turbulent waters of losing a loved one. Grief can be so isolating. This podcast provides companionship and comfort to fellow grievers, and guidance to those who are supporting a full-time griever. We – your hosts, Nathan M McTague and Selysa Love – share what has worked for us in our grieving journeys, and with hundreds of our clients. Join us as we expl
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