Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women
Advice for smart men on how to succeed with women in sex, dating, relationships, and marriages. Beautiful women give you a peek behind the curtain into what the feminine really craves from the masculine and how to give it to them. Personal growth is sexy. Get in touch at dearmenpodcast@gmail.com. Take our free training for men at https://evolutionary.men/dearmen.
Episodes
420: 'I know what I need to do ... I just don't do it.' (ft. Jason Lange)
Do you want to establish a new, healthier habit, but so far you just ... haven't? For example: eat more veggies; exercise; have a meditation practice; be bolder with women/your woman; or a big one: cease watching porn.According to a meta-analysis on this exact questions, intentions only account for ~30% of whether someone actually changes behavior — meaning you can be fully committed and clear
419: 3 ways AI can help your love life (and 3 ways it can f*** it up) (ft. Jason Lange)
When it comes to sex, dating, and relationships, what is AI good for? And where can it potentially cause damage?Here, Jason and I go point-for-point — one way AI can support your love life, one way it can harm it — and get into the nuances most people aren't talking about.We cover what AI is actually good for: crafting the message you can feel but can't quite say; getting unstuck when you&
418: Her hormones: what every partner needs to know (ft. Morgan Miller)
"Is this in my head, or is this real?"Millions of women ask themselves this question -- about their sleep, their mood, their body suddenly working differently than it used to. They can't tell if they can't sleep as well as they used to because they've got two young children ... or whether it's perimenopause.If you want to be an awesome partner (either now or in the future),
417: Top 3 ways to NOT come off as creepy (ft. Jason Lange)
A 2022 dating survey showed that a whopping 69% of American men say that fear of being labeled "creepy" impacts how they interact with women. And 44% said it diminishes how much they interact with women at all, romantically or otherwise. In other words, the fear of being creepy can hold you back from all connection with women, not just in the realm of dating/relationships.But let's tal
416: How do you deal with your trust issues? (ft. Violet Lange)
Who doesn't have trust issues? Let's be real. Whether it shows up as "I don't trust her to handle my anger," or "I'm afraid I'll just be treated like an ATM" or, "I can't relax until I know the person really, really well," — almost all of carry some version of trust concerns into our dating and relationships.Here, my dear friend and co-facilitator Vi
415: The 5 biggest reasons relationships go sexless ... and what to do (ft. Jason Lange)
You love your partner. You're committed. But the sex has slowed to a trickle — once a month, once every six months, maybe not in years — and you're starting to wonder: "Is this just what long-term partnership is?"No -- it doesn't have to be. Unfortunately, if this is happening and you're feeling lonely in your marriage, you're not alone. And it can be hard to know what
414: What to do with, ‘You’re great! … I just don’t feel attracted to you.’ (ft. Jason Lange)
Ever been told you're a "great guy!" but she's "just not feeling it"? Or felt like you're endlessly chasing women but never being pursued yourself?Here, we dig into what's actually happening when women consistently report not feeling attracted to you -- and what you can do about it.The truth is, attraction only has a little to do with what you look like physically.
413: 'Is this ever going to happen for me??' (ft. Violet Lange)
You know the feeling. You've been holding a vision — for the partner, the family, the sex life you actually want — for months. Maybe years. Maybe decades. And it's still not here.And underneath the longing, there's a quieter, scarier question: Is there something wrong with me that it hasn't happened yet?Here, my dear friend and co-facilitator Violet Lang and I have an honest conver
412: Is perimenopause or menopause stealing her sex drive? (ft. sexual wellness physician Dr. Debra Durst)
She used to want it. Now she doesn't. And you're not sure if it's you, the kids, the stress — or something that's quietly shifted inside her.A lot of the time, it's her hormones. Specifically, perimenopause or menopause.Here's what most people don't know: perimenopause doesn't start at 45 years old. Dr. Debra Durst — an MD who left traditional medicine to specialize
411: 'Do I have low testosterone?' (ft. neuroscientist & urologist Dr. Kelly Morgan)
It’s one of the top questions in Dr. Kelly’s men’s health practice. And it’s not just coming from older men — it’s guys in their 20s and 30s. We're talking 27-year-old chiseled Marine sergeants walking in saying, "I can't get motivated. I rarely wake up with erections anymore. I haven't had sex with my girlfriend in two weeks." And their buddies are reporting the same thing.It&
410: Does her emotional intensity overwhelm you? (ft. Jason Lange)
You know the moment. She comes at you with heat — frustrated, hurt, disappointed, or just a lot — and something inside you freezes.Maybe you start minimizing her experience ("It's not that bad"; "You're exaggerating"). Or you lawyer up ("Well but you also said ____" or "That's not what I meant; if you'd just listen while I explained..."). Or you look
409: Have you ever felt adrift as a man? (ft. Scott Kaltenbaugh and Djeli Celestia)
Has it always been clear to you where you fit into the world? -- what your purpose is, what you contribute, what your "worth" or "value" is, as a man.If so, you're in the minority these days.A modern young man has no official initiation into adulthood -- no rite of passage. So he often ends up "adrift on a sea of shame," as story weaver and healthy masculinity educator
408: What if your blocks to love aren't even yours? (ft. Violet Lange)
Ever felt like there's something blocking you in love — something you can't quite name, but keeps showing up? Maybe you've got anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment traits, or you've sacrificed your needs for others or struggled to own your sexual attraction.It's easy to feel like our issues in our sex or loves lives are all our fault, and all ours to fix. But what if s
407: Can't get it up, keep it up, or cum when you want? (ft. Dr. Luke Adler)
Globally, hundreds of millions of men contend with erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and delayed ejaculation. One 2021 US national survey found an overall ED prevalence rate in men of around 24% — that’s nearly one in four.But even in men’s work spaces (men’s groups, retreats, etc.), one rarely hears these topics discussed. Why?In a word: shame.Here, Luke and I debrief our recent course
406: How do you strengthen your masculine energy? (ft. Dr. Luke Adler)
Do you ever wish you were more grounded, had stronger boundaries, felt more clear and aligned in your purpose, and could powerfully ask for what you want and need?If so, then you might resonate with Nice Guy Synrdome, and you probably want stronger YANG energy (as opposed to YIN energy). Here, Luke breaks down the mind-body connection through the lens of traditional Chinese medicine (TCM). explain
405: You'll be empty nesters soon. What'll happen to the marriage? (ft. Jason Lange)
The kids are almost out of the house. And there's this quiet, low-grade dread that when they go … you'll both be left staring across the table at someone you believe you love but barely know anymore.That dread is well-founded. Couples are 40% more likely to divorce after kids leave home. Divorce rates for Americans over 55 have doubled since 1990. And roughly half of all divorces now happe
404: Do you need to let go? (ft. Luke Adler)
Have you been through some sh*t? Or maybe you’re in it now.If you feel stuck, or that there’s stagnant energy in your system that needs some unblocking, Breathwork can be a way of getting MOVING.It can help you to finally let go.Perhaps you’re not getting what you want in sex and intimacy, or maybe you just feel empty a lot of the time and don’t know what to do about it.Or maybe you could write a
403: Do you really want to take the next step in your relationship -- or is it just what's expected? (ft. Amy Gahran)
Ever felt obligated to "take the next step" in a relationship -- for example, becoming exclusive, moving in together, getting married, buying a house, having children, etc.?Was it what you really wanted, or was it just what your partner or others thought you should be doing at that point?Millions of people quietly make alternative life choices and relationship choices -- but we rarely talk
402: What helps a sexually guarded woman feel safe to open? (ft. Violet Lange)
“A common pattern we see is that the sex has dried up.”In millions of marriages around the globe, one partner is starving for intimacy, and the other feels confused, frightened, frozen, or all three. The sexually guarded partner doesn't know how to open, and their partner feels stuck, unhappy and alone.So what can they do?Here we explore exactly that, with a focus on a woman partner who may be
401: ‘I needed to let go of who I was in my marriage.’ (ft. Sara)
Have you ever felt like you've done everything right — therapy, journaling, the inner work — and yet you were still kind of... stuck? Like you intellectually understood your pain but couldn't actually move it?That's where Sara found herself after a 10-year marriage ended; a year of talk therapy later, she still wasn't where she wanted to be. She felt alone in a battle with the voic
400: Do Nice Guys tend to attract volatile women? (ft. Jason Lange) [Replay]
Ever been in a relationship where you felt like it started off GREAT, but over time it became really hard? Ever felt like you had electric sex with someone, especially at the beginning, but then you were often put in the doghouse for doing something “wrong,” and that eventually you ended up constantly walking on eggshells to try not to trigger your partner? Then you’ll likely resonate with this ep
399: What if you grew up between a bully and a bystander? (ft. Violet Lange & Sara)
Do you ever find yourself minimizing your own needs, and/or feeling responsible for others' emotions?Do you tend to stay quiet to keep the peace, or freeze during conflict?Have you ever struggled with boundaries or wondered why standing up for yourself feels so hard?Here we explore a family dynamic that can be just as damaging for what doesn’t happen as for what does. If there was a volatile p
398: 'No other decision has impacted my day-to-day happiness more than this.' (ft. Kubir)
“This is not something I ever thought I would do.”So begins Kubir's story of moving from a spacious one-bedroom apartment in SF to Radish, a 13-person cohousing community in the East Bay.“As I was getting older, my friends were getting partnered off,” he shared, and talked about his dating experiences before living in community as, in part, a way of experiencing companionship.His is a unique p
397: How to work out for better sex and higher testosterone! (naturally) (ft. Mike Bledsoe)
“The gym can be a very scary place.”Ever been intimidated by the idea of working out -- and in particular, lifting weights? Then you're in very good company. Fortunately, as fitness expert Mike Bledsoe puts it, "95% of people in the gym are also insecure."Here we delve right into both the insecurity (and how to overcome it), as well as why Bledsoe, who has trained professional athletes
396: Why your wife doesn't want to have sex with you (anymore) (ft. Jason Lange)
Do any of these apply to you?:You used to have a good sex life with your partner, but now it has flatlinedYou're in a sexless marriage but at a loss with respect to how to even bring this up with your woman (or you've tried in the past and it went poorly)You fear never having passionate, connected sex again---These are all common patterns we see in our practice.Here we outline the 5 most c
395: Welcome! Here's how to get the most out of this podcast.
We've got close to 400 episodes, and with the new year, I felt inspired to categorize Dear Men in order to help you get the most out of it!I've broken it down into six buckets, then listed episodes in an order I believe would be supportive to listen to:1. Do you identify as a Nice Guy? If you already know about Nice Guy Syndrome (perhaps you've even read No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Rob
394: Why is polarity so critical for attraction? (ft. Jason Lange)
Have you ever been in a relationship where it felt like the spark had died? There's no chemistry but you're going through the motions, wishing there was more heat, more aliveness, more oomph.If so, you might have been bumping up against the principle of polarity.---Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I can help you break old patterns and transform you
393: What's it REALLY like living in community, and how does it impact your relationships?
“I become a bit of a depresso-goblin when I live alone.”So shares one of my housemates -- an eloquent interpretation, perhaps, of the loneliness episode we're living through, according to the US Surgeon General.We all know that loneliness sucks. Among other things, it elevates risk of heart disease, stroke, dementia, depression, and anxiety (among other health concerns).So what do we do about
392: Why is it so hard to quit porn!? (ft. Jason Lange)
How do you know if you're addicted to porn?Instead of addiction language, some mental health specialists use the term Problematic Porn Use to discuss this. The heart of it is the same, however: How do I stop watching porn? (and why is it so freakin' hard to stop using porn??)Here we delve into the topic, but not from a shame-based point of view. Instead we look at the underlying needs that
391: 'What Relationships Would You Want, if You Believed They Were Possible?' [The Ezra Klein Show]
ATTRIBUTION NOTE: This is NOT an original episode. This is a complete episode of The Ezra Klein Show that I'm posting here, with a note from me at the beginning.Original episode can be found here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-relationships-would-you-want-if-you-believed-they/id1548604447?i=1000644331040What follows is my own reasons for posting this:---We are at a crossroads in o
390: What is foreskin restoration? (ft. Bob Werner)
Why do you need to know about this?---Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I can help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)---Memorable quotes:“It’s a journey of healing; it’s a journey o
389: 8 reasons why it's so hard for men to let go of relationships that aren't working (ft. Jason Lange)
Have you ever felt stuck in a love relationship that wasn't working? Maybe you were straining and striving to make it work. Maybe you felt like it was all on your shoulders -- all your responsibility to "fix" it. Or maybe you were afraid of what would happen if it went away. Would she make it? Would you?There are concrete reasons why it's hard for men in particular to let go of rom
388: GirlTalk: The reddest, hottest sex we've ever had (as women) [replay]
How many hundreds of miles would you travel for great sex?Some of the hottest sexual experiences are some of the least-expected. Sometimes that has to do with location, and sometimes it has to do with ropes and corsets. Often it involves anticipation, and it's frequently NOT about what you think (i.e. perfect "performance").Here, four of us women friends bring you behind the curtain wh
387: GirlTalk: What inspires a woman to deeply trust a man? [replay]
Most men we work with long to be trusted. They yearn to satisfy their partners on every level: physically, emotionally, and sexually. Above all, they want their woman partners to feel safe with them.The fact is, those two things are inextricably linked: If you want a woman to feel safe with you, she needs to trust you. Yet we still live in a world where a lot of women feel unsafe with a lot of men
386: GuyTalk: How do you co-parent with a challenging partner? (including Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder)
When you've got kids with someone, you need to be able to cooperate. But what do you do if your ex is emotionally unstable/volatile, physically or emotionally abusive, or otherwise difficult?Most partners don't start out that way, of course. As one man put it, it felt more like "the ground could be kind of unstable" in the relationship. Another said, "I was hyper-aware of her e
385: Are you in a sexless marriage? (ft. Jason Lange)
Some experts estimate that ~15% of marriages are sexless, while others put the number as high as 33% ("sexless relationship" defined as a couple having sex 10 times a year or fewer).That's a lot of people.Now let's talk about the stakes:Does a sexless marriage generally mean a less fulfilling one? In a word, yes. According to researcher and associate professor Denis Donnelly in the
384: What's the impact of circumcision on a man? (ft. Michael Smith, Intactivist Educator)
In North America, we tend to think of circumcision as "normal" and "widespread." But did you know that circumcision as a practice only became widespread in the US in the mid 1900s?So what's the deal? Why did it originate as a practice and why has it persisted? And perhaps most importantly, what is the impact on a man -- both physiologically as well as psychologically?The answer
383: How does your inner critic impact your c*ck? (PART II) (ft. Dr. Luke Adler)
Overcoming erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, and other forms of sexual dysfunction in men is complex.This is part II of a two-part series.---Work with usReady to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I can help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Prese
382: Erectile dysfunction isn't about what you think. (PART I) (ft. Dr. Luke Adler)
Did you know that premature ejaculation is the most common form of sexual dysfunction on the planet? In a similar vein, experts estimate that erectile dysfunction impacts a staggering 30-50 million men in the U.S. alone. And some studies suggest that 1 in 10 men experiences delayed ejaculation.The truth is, sexual dysfunction affects millions and millions of men, but the experience is often one of
381: My 5 biggest takeaways from my 10 c0ck interviews
Welcome to Cocktober! We're spending this whole month on a plethora of penis things.As a sex researcher, I can tell you that when it comes to men's top sex problems, a common and unrelenting theme is around erections: getting them, keeping them, and being able to savor or "complete" them. This past spring and summer I interviewed ten men about their experiences with erectile dysfun
380: What exactly IS polarity? (ft. Violet Lange) [replay]
"Polarity" is a term we throw around a lot on this podcast, and a concept that has gained popularity in discussions on masculinity, femininity, sacred sexuality, and conscious relationship over the last few decades.Here we delve into what it actually means ... and how it connect to hot sexy sex. ;)Seriously, though, polarity is a big part of how to generate attraction regardless of what ty
379: Can ketamine really treat depression (and PTSD and ADHD)? (ft. Sam Mandel)
According to Gallup News, nearly 48 million people in the US alone struggle with depression, which is a staggering ~18% of the population. In fact, depression is the leading cause of disability in the country.And the US isn't the only place affected -- rates of depression, anxiety, PTSD, OCD, ADHD, and more are rising globally, especially post-pandemic.We need new, innovative, and effective wa
378: 'It’s never been natural for me to reach out when I’m in the sh*t’ (ft. Jason Lange & Luke Adler)
When things are bad, are you good at asking for support?More than once, we've had clients disappear for a bit, and upon reappearing say things like, "Sorry, I just had one of the worst weeks of my life last week."And we wonder: Why, during some of your darker times, are you not reaching out for love?Here we break down the reasons why this pattern exists. Why is it so hard for men in pa
377: How do you overcome the fear of being alone? (ft. Jason Lange & Luke Adler)
"I'm afraid that if I don't do what she wants, she'll leave ... and then I'll be alone."The truth is, almost all human beings have a visceral, primal fear of being alone. We are social animals, and our survival has depended on inter-connectivity since time immemorial. We fear and are stressed by isolation, separation, and loneliness.It is also true that this fear of being a
376: UTIs are a gargantuan sex problem. Here’s a concrete way you can help! (ft. Meghan Blake of Good Kitty)
Worldwide, 150 million women get urinary tract infections (UTIs) yearly, and 30-44% of them get recurrent UTIs (defined as 2+ infections in 6 months, or 3+ in a year.)I was one of those women.UTIs are so prevalent that they are the second-most common reason for antibiotic prescriptions on the planet. And in case you've never had one, rest assured that UTIs are painful, disruptive, and deeply a
375: What does it mean to 'be in your masculine'? (ft. Jason Lange)
“I knew it was something I wanted to be in because I thought it’d get me chicks.”So begins Jason in describing his journey around learning to be "in his masculine" and "in his feminine." These are terms related to polarity that get thrown around a lot, and we wanted to break down what we're referring to in more depth.What does it mean to be dominating versus assertive? Is it ev
374: The 3 main archetypes of men. Which one are you? (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]
How connected do you feel to your heart? How about to your cock?One of the advantages we have as coaches for men is that we seen the patterns that frequently show up for different men. We've noted three specific archetypes in our work and here, we go over them. (If you've ever heard me reference the heart/cock matrix, that's part of this episode.)Why does this matter? In large part bec
373: What's it like treating Borderline Personality Disorder (pt. 2) (ft. Setareh Vatan)
A whole bunch of our clients have related with either parents or partners with BPD (or BPD traits). Here we go into even more depth around the origins of BPD, and what you can do as a partner if this is something you're contending with. We answer questions like:When you “cross” someone with BPD, they often want to punish you / make you suffer. Why?Why are folks with BPD traits so sensitive to
372: Are you scared of women? (ft. Jason Lange)
If you've ever been scared of approaching a woman because you might make her uncomfortable; frightened about what a woman might ask of you; or worried about "getting in trouble" with your women partner, I have news for you: You're a normal man.That said, there are also some underlying patterns that may need addressing, particularly if this is a recurring pattern that's preventi
371: GuyTalk: What's it like doing in-person men's work?
“Every one of us walking onto that property was nervous.”So says one man on this episode, describing his experiencing attending his first in-person men's retreat.If you've ever felt intimidated or unsure about doing in-person work with other men, you're far from alone. In the words of one man on this panel, “There’s a shared understanding of the brutality between men.”But it doesn'
370: Are you codependent? (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]
Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship, or like you knew something was off but didn't know what to do about it? Maybe you've had a vague awareness that you're somehow suffering (and so is she), but again, you didn't know how to even start to go about addressing it.A lot of people know the term "codependence" but aren't clear on what it actually means in a concrete
369: GuyTalk: Setting healthy boundaries with parents
Did you have healthy boundaries modeled for you when you were growing up? Do you feel like you know how to set healthy boundaries with your folks?If not, then some of these things may apply:You felt like (or continue to feel like) you need to take care of your mom or dadYou don't really feel free to live your life as you'd like because you know this might "hurt" one or both of your
368: Can a live retreat change everything? (ft. Jason Lange)
When Jason was in his mid-20s, he was stuck. He numbed out with porn much of the time, had never had sex, and struggled with dating and love relationship.Even outside of dating, it felt like something was missing in his life ... like he just wasn't completely alive. He knew he wanted something different, but didn't know how to get there.Then he attended one of his first personal growth eve
367: 'For some reason, I tend to attract "projects."' (ft. Jason Lange)
Have you got a history of partnering with women who are physically or emotionally unstable? Maybe they've got an insecure living situation (or chaotic/dangerous ex-partner). Perhaps they're financially challenged, or they've got serious issues with depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues.You may even have been with a partner who became so emotionally dependent on you that yo
366: Love can, in fact, be calculated. (ft. Zoey Charif)
Have you ever wished you could scientifically determine what’s wrong in your relationship? Or felt it would be helpful to somehow mathematically see how compatible you are with someone you’re dating? Or gone through a difficult period with a relationship partner and wished you could understand one another better? There’s a love tool that may be able to help. Zoey Charif went from getting a degree
365: Is staying together for the kids the right choice? (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]
What does it mean to be a good parent?If part of your job is to provide stability, then it can seem like even if your love relationship isn't fulfilling, it's best to grit your teeth and get through it -- at least until the kids are out of the house.The truth is a lot more nuanced.Consider the following, for example:What are you role-modeling to your children if you stay in a relationship
364: What exactly is complex PTSD, and how do you know if you have it? (ft. Setareh Vatan)
Have you experienced any of the following yourself, or been in a love relationship with a partner who did?You've held beliefs like, "I must be broken," or, "The world is completely dangerous."You constantly tested your partner's loyaltyYou've thought things like, "I'm too much and my needs are too much."You've played out patterns to the effect of: "I
363: We women still need men. Just in a different way. (ft. Jason Lange)
We all know the "rules" have changed when it comes to dating and relationships. There are few absolute in terms of how to relate to a dating or relationship partner, which begs questions like:If not money, then what IS the modern man supposed to provide?If you're a man, it may be hard to grasp what a woman truly craves from you. There's good news on this front, though: We women sti
362: From skeptic to believer (ft. Naushad Godrej)
Have you ever doubted? Whether you've doubted yourself, the existence of a higher power, the efficacy of "alternative" healing techniques, or anything that goes against the mainstream -- this has likely come up for you at some point.When Naushad was young, he came very close to being a pro soccer player. But physical injury after injury stymied him, and set him on a path of healing tha
361: Worried about being a late bloomer? (ft. Jason Lange)
Are you concerned about your lack of experience, whether that's sexually, in a dating context, or time in long-term relationships? Maybe you feel behind in some way, and hesitant or fearful about telling a woman about your level of experience.As Jason says, "For men in particular, it means something about you if you haven’t had sex."If it took you a while to start dating, have sex, or
360: GirlTalk: Striking while the iron is hot!
Want to be even sexier to women than you are now? ;) Learn to strike while the iron is hot!Seriously though -- striking while the iron is hot makes you a man who can generate polarity, build trust, and have women want to surrender to you. Knowing how and when to take action is very sexy ... and passivity, not so much. And all of these principles apply whether you're in a dating relationship or
359: GuyTalk: Ever felt stuck?
Have you ever just felt STUCK? Stuck in your dating life, stuck in your marriage, stuck in your sex life (or stuck in your sex life within your marriage)? As one man on our panel put it, "I felt stuck for most of the 20 years of my marriage."Maybe you've felt trapped -- like you just couldn't work your way out of wherever you were.Here, four men get real about their journey going f
358: Do you trust men? (ft. Jason Lange)
When I ask my male friends, "Do you trust men?" most of them say, pretty unequivocally, "No."Why does this matter?A lot of our clients come to us because they want to improve their dynamics with women. Whether they're single and dating or partnered and seeking more sex, intimacy, closeness, or harmony with their woman, there's a lot of focus on women.So what does a man'
357: GirlTalk: What does it mean to “claim” her (and why does she love it)?
Want to generate sexual heat, and also inspire safety and a sense of belonging in your partner? Learn how to claim her!We've talked about claiming before on the podcast, especially with respect to building polarity. When a man is on the more passive side, it can feel lackluster and also confusing. As one woman put it, "Do you even want me?" This throws off polarity.When he knows how to
356: What does it really mean to 'be a man' -- and a warrior? (ft. Wayne Forrest)
When Wayne Forrest was 25 years old, he was a strong, rugby-playing farmer who was married with two twin babies.Then he had an accident on the rugby field and broke his neck. A doctor said he would never walk again. His wife wouldn't touch him anymore. And he thought, "How the hell am I going to survive this?"What follows is his story, which touches on everything from love, sex, and da
355: ‘I thought being a good husband meant putting others’ needs ahead of mine (ft. Jason Lange)
What does it mean to be a good husband?Many men we work with were trained to take care of everyone else before themselves. They often feel burnt out, and like they don't get nearly as much back as they give.If you've ever felt like you've tried everything you can to make your woman happy, but this only results in both of you being miserable ... you might be able to relate.Or perhaps yo
354: What’s it like treating Borderline Personality Disorder? (Pt. 1) Ft. Setareh Vatan
If you've ever been with an emotionally volatile partner or perhaps suspected that you yourself might be emotionally volatile, you hopefully already know about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). (And if you haven't, we have lots of episodes on the subject!)Here, we talk to a therapist whose clientele is largely comprised of those contending with BPD. What's it like to be a therapis
353: GirlTalk: An exquisite quality of the masculine that we quite enjoy [replay]
Ever wanted to be a fly on the wall while women talked about their dating stories? Ever wondered what the men who have women feel both safe and turned on have in common?Here, four of us women discuss a specific skill that men have shown that has us feel taken care of and turned on. It boosts polarity like crazy, and it's relevant whether or not you're dating casually or you're in a com
352: Do you ever feel collapsed or hopeless? (Like nothing’s working) (ft. Jason Lange)
Does a part of you ever feel like just giving up? It's too much, it's too heavy, it's too complicated, it's too hard. Or has it ever felt like, "What's the point?"The truth is, we all have points in our lives when we feel overwhelmed. This can also show up in the, "Here I am again… I’m in the SAME SPOT. I always circle back to this.'"If you're single, pe
351: Men love to be nurtured, too (pt. 2) (ft. Scott Kaltenbaugh)
Ever feel like you need to be tough in order to be seen as "masculine" enough? Ever feel like you wish you could just let your guard down and be taken care of? The truth is, it is a deep human need to be nurtured in relationship. It's neither masculine nor feminine, and we need to expand our awareness of and perception of love, relationship, and what it means to be taken care of, wheth
350: Weed, Porn, and Masturbation: The Trifecta! (ft. Jason Lange & Luke Adler)
"Porn was the #1 relationship I had in terms of intimacy."So says Jason on his experience of sex, love, and closeness in his 20s. (Fortunately, after engaging in personal growth, including men's work, he's now married to a radiant goddess!)If you've ever struggled with your relationship to porn -- and if that has also impacted your relationship to sex and sexuality, you're
349: Interested in plant medicine but don’t want to do “drugs”? Try this. (ft. Luke Adler)
Most of us, on our growth journeys, become aware that we need to heal from some kind of trauma. We also often discover that we need more than talk therapy.Altered states have been used since time immemorial to help us on our healing paths, and can be particularly helpful in trauma healing. And while plant medicine (ayahuasca, psilocybin (magic mushrooms), MDMA, psychedelics like wachuma/peyote) ca
348: ‘I wish we had sex more.’ (ft. Violet Lange)
A common pattern in a lot of love relationships sounds like one partner (often a man, in a man/woman dynamic) saying things like:"I wish you weren’t so busy with the kids.""You never dress up for me anymore.""I wish you'd flirt with me more.""You hide yourself from me; I never really see your body anymore.""I wish we had more sex."---What's driving t
347: Men’s work isn’t enough. You’ve also got to have this. (ft. Luke Adler)
Have you ever felt unworthy, less than, or "deeply ugly and stupid," as my guest this week put it?The fact is, we need all the support we can get. We need it from our fellow humans, and we need it from something greater.The word "God" can be very triggering -- for those who experienced religious trauma growing up (which, let's face it, is literally billions of people), it can b
346: When whining is so magical that it generates polarity! (ft. Jason & Violet Lange) [replay]
Is it painful for you when you feel that your woman is closed? Do you long for more ways to help her open up fully? (Not just sexually, but that is included!)Most dating and relationship advice doesn't include the concept of polarity and the three stages of relationship, but it can be nothing less than magical when worked with properly.According to polarity work (originated primarily by David
345: The 4 male "types" who partner with Borderline women (Borderline Personality Disorder) (ft. Violet Lange)
Ever been with a woman partner who was emotionally volatile? Ever felt like you were walking on eggshells, or that no matter what you did it wasn't enough and she was always disappointed in you?If so, she may have had Borderline Personality Disorder ... or at least traits of it.More people are diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) than schizophrenia and bipolar combined, yet few
344: 3 dating myths to let go of immediately (ft. Jason Lange)
Are you gettin' out onto the dating scene in 2025? Whether you're newly single, a refugee from the world of pickup, recently divorced, or you've been dating for a while now, there are a few myths we see as obsolete that we wanted to bust.Sex, dating, and relationships can be confusing territory, and there are a lot of dos and don'ts when it comes to dating in the modern world. This
343: A quality women yearn for in relationship (but rarely talk about) (ft. Scott Kaltenbaugh)
There's a certain quality in men that a lot of women long for -- and I mean long for it from the depths of their beings -- but often don't talk about.Why don't they? Because a lot of women (myself included) hold a certain amount of shame around wanting it in the first place.And what is the quality? It's an aspect of healthy masculinity that we don't often discuss, but we're
342: Are you scared of her big feelings? This may help. (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]
Ever felt intimidated when your woman was upset (about something that involved you)? Ever gotten defensive, stonewalled, or made her wrong -- "that's not what I meant, so you shouldn't feel that way"?You're not alone!And there's a high cost; this can be exhausting for you. Whether you're just dating or married, if you're at the mercy of her feelings, you likely feel
341: GirlTalk: The most important relationship skill of them all
When it comes to love relationships, whether you're dating or in a committed, long-term relationship, there's one place where you need to be skillful or it will all just fall apart.It might not happen right away; you might get through the honeymoon period or even get married and it might be fine. But little by little, if this skill isn't developed and you as a couple can't "get
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