Dear Dr. Tracy
Welcome to Dear Dr. Tracy, the podcast that helps you navigate the everyday challenges of relationships, marriage, and parenting with expert advice and real, relatable conversations. Hosted by clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, this podcast is your place for honest, no-nonsense guidance on love, intimacy, boundaries, and communication. With over 18 years of experience, Dr. Tracy brings a mix of clinical expertise, evidence-based research, and personal insights as a wife and mother to help you break unhealthy patterns and build stronger connections. Each week, Dr. Tracy answers the questions so many of us have but don’t always know how to ask—about resentment, desire, mental load, and how to truly feel like a team with your partner. She’s joined by fellow experts, real couples, and her husband Greg, who offers a down-to-earth perspective on the struggles so many relationships face.
Episodes
Why Defensiveness Kills Intimacy
What do you do when your partner’s defensiveness is shutting down your desire, but you’re afraid that bringing it up will only make them more reactive?In this episode, Dr. Tracy answers a listener question about sex, defensiveness, and how to talk about what turns desire off without getting pulled into another negative cycle. She explains why defensiveness is understandable, especially when someon
Raine Maida and Chantal Kreviazuk: The Marriage Behind the Music
With the release of their new joint memoir, I’m Going to Break Your Heart: A Rock N Roll Love Story, and their upcoming fall tour, this conversation with Raine Maida and Chantal Kreviazuk feels especially timely to revisit.In this intimate conversation, Dr. Tracy sits down with the Canadian musicians and longtime partners to talk about the real work of long-term love: marriage, family, therapy, cr
Don’t Define Your Relationship by Your Hardest Days
Major life transitions can make even strong couples feel disconnected, reactive, and unlike themselves.In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg record from their new office after moving homes and reflect on what this season taught them about stress, partnership, and staying connected through change. From buying, selling, staging, packing, moving, and settling in, they talk about how stress can amplify
When Your Partner Avoids Conflict and Leaves You Alone
What do you do when your partner keeps bidding for connection at the worst possible times, or in ways that feel irritating, inconvenient, or hard to receive?In this episode, Dr. Tracy answers a listener question that starts with annoying bids for connection, but quickly reveals something deeper: emotional safety. Because sometimes the issue is not the bid itself. It is the history underneath it. Y
How to Stop Chasing Accountability From Your Mother-in-Law
One of the hardest parts of mother-in-law conflict is that the thing you want most, accountability, can become the very thing keeping you stuck.In this short episode, Dr. Tracy talks to the daughter-in-law who has tried to explain, repair, clarify, and get her mother-in-law to finally understand the hurt she caused. It makes sense to want accountability, ownership, and responsibility. But when som
Why You Sound Critical When You Really Want Connection
Why does someone who longs for closeness often come across as critical, demanding, or angry?In this episode, Dr. Tracy looks at the other side of the defensiveness cycle: the partner who brings things up, reaches for connection, pushes for repair, and then gets labelled as “too angry,” “too much,” “controlling,” or “a nag.” But underneath that criticism is often something much more tender: a prote
Why the Mental Load Feels So Unfair
The mental load isn’t just about who does more chores. It’s about the invisible planning, tracking, noticing, anticipating, and remembering that keeps a family and relationship running.In this episode, Dr. Tracy shares real moments from her marriage with Greg, from tracking naps with a newborn to wiping kitchen counters while 1,000 tabs open in her brain, and explores why the mental load can creat
Why You Over-Explain When You Feel Misunderstood
Do you ever feel like being misunderstood doesn’t just hurt, it sends your whole nervous system into shutdown?In this short episode, Dr. Tracy reflects on a powerful insight about highly sensitive people and highly sensitive children: sometimes the hardest part isn’t being perceived, it’s being perceived wrongly. She explores why the fear of being misunderstood can lead to over-explaining, rereadi
The Invisible Distance You Are Creating Together
Have you ever tried to tell your partner something and realized they were only half-listening because they were on their phone?In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg talk about phubbing, the habit of snubbing someone with your phone, and how it quietly disrupts connection in romantic relationships. It might not look like a big fight. It might just look like sitting side by side in bed, scrolling, mis
Why You Overthink After Setting a Boundary
You said the hard thing. You set the boundary, sent the text, spoke up in the meeting, or finally named what had gone unspoken. So why can’t you stop replaying it afterward?Dr. Tracy explores why courage does not always come with immediate relief. Even when you know you acted thoughtfully and in line with your values, your nervous system may still be on high alert, searching for a way to make the
Are You an Internalizer or an Externalizer?
Why do some people shut down when they're hurt while others immediately criticize, blame, or demand a response?In this episode, Dr. Tracy introduces two common ways people respond to emotional pain: internalizing and externalizing.When something difficult happens in a relationship, some people turn inward, questioning themselves, minimizing their needs, or carrying the hurt alone. Others turn outw
What to Say When Your Partner Gets Defensive
If you've ever walked away from a conversation feeling like your concerns got completely lost in your partner's defensiveness, this episode is for you.Dr. Tracy shares a real-life conversation she recently had with Greg and breaks down exactly what happened when a difficult discussion could have spiraled into their old negative cycle, but didn't.Instead of focusing on how to change a defensive par
Why Men Get Stuck in Relationship Narratives
Have you ever assumed you already knew how your partner was going to react?
In this special episode, Greg takes over the mic to share a husband's perspective on one of the biggest traps couples fall into: getting stuck in outdated stories about the people we love.
Drawing from his own experiences navigating marriage, parenting, dirt biking, golf, and family life, Greg explores how old assumption
The Hidden Stories Creating Conflict in Your Relationship
Have you ever found yourself upset with your partner... only to realize the entire argument happened inside your head?We all do it.Your partner sighs. They seem distant. They forget something important. Before they've even said a word, your mind has already filled in the blanks.In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg explore the stories we tell ourselves about our partners and how those assumptions ca
How to Share Your Feelings Without Triggering Defensiveness
Have you ever tried to share something vulnerable with your partner… and somehow the conversation turned into an argument?Maybe you’ve said, “I didn’t tell you because I was afraid of your reaction.”It sounds honest. It sounds vulnerable. But is it?In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg break down one of the most common communication traps couples fall into: when vulnerability accidentally turns into
What Happens in Your Body During Hard Conversations
You can know exactly what you want to say, and still lose access to yourself the second the other person gets defensive, spirals, or turns it into guilt and self-flagellation. This episode is about why that happens, and why it’s not actually a “communication problem” at all. Dr. Tracy walks through what’s going on in your nervous system when your face gets hot, your heart pounds, and your words di
“I’m Sorry, But…” Is Not an Apology
Couples often get stuck after conflict not because they don’t care, but because the repair never actually lands. Dr. Tracy dives into what she sees in her therapy room: partners getting trapped in their own stories, over-focusing on intent (“I meant well”), and missing the one thing that rebuilds closeness, impact. Real repair starts with seeing the hurt, naming the impact, and staying present lon
How to Repair After Conflict: Even If You Never Learned How
Couples often get stuck after conflict not because they don’t care, but because the repair never actually lands. Dr. Tracy dives into what she sees in her therapy room: partners getting trapped in their own stories, over-focusing on intent (“I meant well”), and missing the one thing that rebuilds closeness, impact. Real repair starts with seeing the hurt, naming the impact, and staying present lon
Differentiation in Parenting: Raising an Autonomous Child
Enmeshment doesn’t usually start with bad intentions, it starts when a parent’s emotional needs quietly get wrapped around their child’s development. Dr. Tracy breaks down what healthy differentiation looks like across the lifespan, and why your child’s autonomy isn’t rejection, it’s growth. The goal isn’t fusion. It’s two separate people who can stay connected without guilt, pressure, or emotiona
Why You Keep Having the Same Fight
Most couples assume the goal is to “resolve” conflict, but Dr. Tracy and Greg pull the thread on a different truth: 69% of relationship conflict is perpetual. The fight keeps repeating not because you’re broken, but because you’re two different people with different histories, nervous systems, and meanings attached to the same moment (yes, even something as small as boots in the hallway).Together,
The Communication Fix that Actually Works
A tiny language shift can change the entire temperature of a conversation, especially when you’re juggling parenting, partnership, and the logistics of real life. Dr. Tracy shares a communication “unlock” she and Greg found after repeatedly getting stuck in the same loop: he would say she was going too fast or wasn’t being clear, she’d feel blamed, her deeper “too much” wound would flare, and sudd
The Unspoken Beliefs That Change a Relationship After Having a Baby
Becoming a parent doesn’t just add responsibilities, it can light up old protective parts you didn’t even know were running the show: perfectionism, hypervigilance, shame, and that wired feeling of trying to “do it right” so you can finally feel safe. Dr. Cassidy shares a raw early-postpartum story that captures how quickly couples can fuse into survival mode, how easy it is to perform “fine” whil
Is It Normal to Prefer My Mom Over My Mother-in-Law Postpartum?
A follower asked a question that hits a very real postpartum pressure point: is it normal to feel more comfortable with your own mom than with your mother-in-law after having a baby? Dr. Tracy zooms out to name what many families miss. Postpartum isn’t a time when most new moms are optimizing for “fair” or “equal.” They’re optimizing for safety, familiarity, care, and nervous-system comfort while
How to Talk to a Defensive Partner Without Starting a Fight
A message from Dr. Tracy’s community landed hard: “I’ve stopped bringing things up. Every time I do, my husband gets defensive… and now I feel like a stranger in my own home.” This episode names what so many couples quietly live with: defensiveness doesn’t just derail a conversation, it slowly erodes safety, connection, and the willingness to keep trying. When one partner experiences feedback as a
How to Prevent a Mother’s Day Fight in Your Relationship
Mother’s Day isn’t just about the day. It’s about what the day reveals: who gets prioritized, who gets protected, and who ends up feeling invisible. Dr. Tracy speaks to the painful pattern so many mothers name every year, he celebrates his mother, but doesn’t celebrate his partner, and then the same cycle repeats: she feels unseen, she gets angry, he gets defensive, and the family falls back into
Why Play Works When Kids Won’t Listen with Dr. Kim Van Dusen
A long day, a bedtime standoff, and a split-second pivot into “spy crawl” mode becomes the doorway into a bigger truth: connection often returns the moment play enters the room. Dr. Tracy sits down with Dr. Kim Van Dusen (The Parentologist) to unpack why play isn’t just “being silly,” it’s a nervous system tool and a relational skill that lowers power struggles and rebuilds cooperation in real tim
How to Stop Taking In-Law Priorities Personally
A mother-in-law writes in with a hard, honest truth: she loves her daughter-in-law, she’s tried to be warm and welcoming, and she’s still grieving that her son’s wife’s family seems to get the “real” holidays while his side feels like the cordial box-check. Dr. Tracy validates the sadness without turning the daughter-in-law into the villain, and offers a reframe that changes the whole lens: when y
Why So Many People Feel Lonely in Their Marriage
Loneliness isn’t just a risk factor for people who live alone anymore. Dr. Tracy and Greg unpack the reality of relational loneliness, the experience of feeling alone inside a long-term partnership, even when you share a home, kids, a schedule, and a couch. Sparked by a striking poll from Dr. Tracy’s community, they name the paradox many couples live inside: you chose partnership hoping you’d neve
Justin Bieber, Coachella, and the Power of Meeting Your Younger Self
Did you catch Justin Bieber at Coachella? When he sang alongside footage of his 13-year-old self, it wasn't just nostalgia — it was a public, vulnerable act of inner child healing.
In this short episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish unpacks why that moment landed so hard and what it teaches us about our own healing work.
Tracy explores:
Why meeting your younger self is powerful healing work
How we
How Couples Get Stuck in the Same Cycle
Some couples don’t get stuck because they don’t love each other, they get stuck because their nervous systems keep pulling them into the same protective dance. Dr. Tracy and Greg unpack their own cycle in real time: avoidance and “giving space” on one side, protest and pursuit on the other, and how quickly it can turn into defensiveness, shutdown, and disconnection. The shift isn’t about “better c
Honest Motherhood with Libby Ward: Losing Yourself and Finding Your Way Back
Resentment doesn’t always show up as anger. Sometimes it shows up as a quiet question you can’t stop hearing: does anyone see how hard I’m trying? Dr. Tracy sits down with Libby Ward, creator and author of Honest Motherhood: On Losing My Mind and Finding Myself, to name the tension so many mothers live inside, deep love alongside deep exhaustion, gratitude alongside grief, connection alongside lon
Repairing Trust After Half-Truths and Defensiveness
Trust doesn’t always break in one explosive moment. Sometimes it erodes through small lies, half-truths, and protective reflexes that made sense in childhood, but create distance in adult partnership. Dr. Tracy responds to a listener who wants to know if trust can be rebuilt after a long-standing pattern of not telling the full truth, and what to do when their partner feels hypervigilant, exhauste
The Yes Starts Way Before the Bedroom
There was a time when sex felt easy, and then life happened. Kids, stress, mental load, exhaustion, being touched out… and suddenly both partners are wondering: is something wrong with me, with you, or with us? Dr. Tracy reframes this in a way most couples have never been taught: you don’t have a desire problem, you have a conditions problem. And that’s hopeful, because conditions are something yo
The 4 Steps to Setting a Boundary That Actually Sticks
If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “I know I need a boundary… I just don’t know how to do it without making things worse,” this episode slows it all the way down. Boundaries aren’t about getting someone else to change. They start with you getting clear on what would need to feel different inside the dynamic so you can feel okay, grounded, and steady.Dr. Tracy breaks down four
The Real Reason You Avoid Setting Boundaries
Boundaries are easy to agree with in theory and brutally hard in real life, especially when childcare, tradition, money, and family history are all tangled together. Dr. Tracy and Greg unpack why so many people understand boundaries online but freeze when it’s time to actually set one, and they cluster the most common stuck points: fear of fallout, guilt and “you’re too sensitive” messaging, the h
How Unspoken Needs Create Distance and Resentment
hat “we’re not fighting, but we don’t feel close” feeling is one of the most common relationship stuck-points, and it doesn’t automatically mean anything is broken. Dr. Tracy reframes roommate mode as less about a lack of love and more about a misunderstanding of how closeness is actually built. For many couples, connection erodes quietly, not through big blowups, but through long stretches of imp
How to Build Resilience Before Life Gets Hard with Dr. Rachel Goldman
Life is going to happen, no matter how organized you are or how many systems you build. Dr. Rachel Goldman joins Dr. Tracy to talk about resilience as something you practice before the hard season hits, not after you’re already running on fumes. They break down what’s actually in your control when everything feels like it isn’t, and why doing “more” often creates the exact kind of chronic stress y
What to Do Instead of an Empty “Sorry”
Empty apologies don’t ruin relationships. What ruins relationships is what happens next when repair never really comes. In this short episode, Dr. Tracy breaks down why conflict isn’t the main problem for most couples, it’s the inability to truly repair in a way that helps both partners feel seen, safe, and back on the same team.She walks through what to do when you recognize a specific “sorry” pa
Why “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough in Relationships
A “sorry” can be sincere and still not land. Dr. Tracy and Greg unpack why so many couples get stuck in apology loops where the words get said, but the hurt doesn’t actually get repaired. One partner is left with that familiar sting of “okay… but nothing feels different,” while the other thinks, “I apologized, what more do you want?” The gap isn’t effort. It’s that sorry without repair doesn’t reb
You’re Not His Therapist: You’re Choosing the High Road
A lot of women are asking the same question right now: “So if my partner gets defensive, I’m supposed to be his therapist?” Dr. Tracy validates why that reaction makes sense, especially when you’re already exhausted, resentful, and carrying too much.She breaks down a common moment: you ask for help in a clear, non-attacking way, and your partner responds with defensiveness because shame gets activ
A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts: Why Resentment Gets So Heavy
Resentment isn’t the hot kind of anger that flares and fades. It’s the quiet kind that builds in the background, often after you’ve asked for something over and over, and nothing changes. Dr. Tracy reframes resentment as grief, grief for unmet needs, lost hope, invisibility, and the version of your relationship you thought you were coming home to.She walks through how resentment typically forms in
Stop Taking It Personally: Differentiation in Real Life
In this episode of From the Couch, Dr. Tracy teaches a relationship skill that quietly changes everything: differentiation. It’s the ability to hold onto your sense of self while staying connected to someone else, and to remember that another person’s thoughts, feelings, needs, or reactions are not automatically a commentary on your worth, your lovability, or whether you’re “doing enough.”Dr. Trac
How to Talk About Hard Things Without Shame Taking Over
Dr. Tracy shares a shift that changed how she does couples therapy: most couples think their problem is communication, but often the real blocker is shame. You can have all the scripts, “I statements,” and conflict tools in the world, but when shame shows up, it hijacks the conversation and turns it into a survival response instead of a problem-solving moment.Dr. Tracy breaks down the crucial diff
Helping Without Becoming the Household Help Desk
Ever catch yourself saying, “I shouldn’t have to tell you this” and immediately feel your brain power leak out through your ears? In this bite-sized episode, Dr. Tracy names a sneaky mental load pattern: “renting mom’s brain.” It’s those constant micro-asks, where’s my hat, did you see my keys, what are we doing for dinner, that pull you out of your own task to manage someone else’s.Dr. Tracy brea
Closing the Task: The Moment That Changed Our Marriage
Ever had the moment where your partner says, “I did it,” but somehow…you’re still the one cleaning up the aftermath?
In this episode, Dr. Tracy is joined by her husband Greg to talk about a surprisingly specific (and wildly common) mental load issue: not “closing the task.” Using their real-life bath time example, they break down how tasks have a beginning, middle, and end, and how skipping the “
The Relief You Are Not Supposed to Feel
In this short From the Couch Q&A episode, Dr. Tracy responds to a listener who feels crushed by guilt after she and her husband chose to go no-contact with his sister (and her family) after years of escalating conflict.
The listener shares that the tension started around their engagement, with ongoing attacks, scapegoating, and a painful pattern of being blamed for “destroying the family.” Dr. T
Weaponized Incompetence: The Label That Explains Everything (And Nothing)
In this episode Dr. Tracy slows down one of the internet’s most popular relationship labels: weaponized incompetence. She names why the term resonates so deeply, especially for women carrying the mental load, and why it can feel like oxygen to finally have language for exhaustion, invisibility, and resentment.
But Dr. Tracy also brings nuance to a conversation that often gets flattened. She expla
Spontaneous vs. Responsive Desire: The Mismatch Couples Misunderstand
In this short “From the Couch” episode, Dr. Tracy speaks to one of the most common pain points couples face around intimacy: one partner needs closeness to want sex, while the other experiences sex as the way they feel close. And when that mismatch goes unspoken, both people can start to feel rejected, pressured, and quietly alone even when love is still very much there.
Dr. Tracy offers a simple
Why Sex Isn't Dessert with Dr. Nicole McNichols
In this episode of Dear Dr. Tracy, Dr. Tracy D is joined by psychologist, professor, and sex researcher Dr. Nicole McNichols for a grounded, shame-reducing conversation about sex, desire, and what actually helps couples build a satisfying intimate life in the real world.Together, they unpack why so many people feel anxious, awkward, or “broken” when it comes to sex, and how much of that is shaped
Why Repair Has to Come Before Reconciliation
In this “From the Couch” episode, Dr. Tracy responds to a listener who’s been carrying the fallout of a painful postpartum season, where in-law boundary violations piled up and their partner didn’t protect them in the ways they needed. She normalizes how often having a baby is the moment extended-family dynamics shift, because your needs change, your limits change, and suddenly the old rules don’t
The Relationship Reset You Can Actually Keep Up With
In this episode, Dr. Tracy shares five small, daily practices that can shift the emotional tone of your relationship, especially once the “new year” dust has actually settled. She names what many of us feel but don’t say out loud: January 1 is not exactly peak nervous-system readiness, and real change usually starts after the recovery period.
LINKS FROM EPISODE:
Hello Fresh: a free ZWILLIN
Your Partner’s Bad Mood Isn’t a Stop Sign
In this short “From the Couch” episode, Dr. Tracy talks about a common relationship moment: you’re about to head out for the night, and your partner is clearly struggling. Bad mood, stressed, kids melting down, the whole thing. And suddenly you’re standing there in your jacket wondering if you’re allowed to still go.
Dr. Tracy explains why staying home can feel like the easier choice in the short
Where Did His Friends Go? Male Friendships, and Modern Relationships
In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish and Greg dig into something that quietly impacts a lot of couples: friendships and independence, especially male friendships in midlife and parenting seasons. They talk honestly about why it can feel so hard for men to maintain friendships, why guilt shows up when one partner tries to take time away, and how “defaulting to the kids” can become a relationship pa
“Are You Mad at Me?” What That Question Is Really Asking
In this short “From the Couch” episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish answers a question many couples know by heart: “Are you mad at me?” Inspired by a comment on a recent reel with Greg, Dr. Tracy explores why this question shows up so often and why it’s rarely about the moment and more about older wiring, nervous system threat, and the stories we learned to tell ourselves in childhood.Using a simple yarn
The Decluttering Breakthrough Moms Need
In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish sits down with Katie Wells, host of The Maximized Minimalist podcast and a leading voice in decluttering, to talk about what really keeps families stuck in overwhelm.Katie shares the emotional moment that changed how she saw clutter, why traditional “do more, try harder” organizing advice often fails, and the four types of clutter that require different tools.
Why Apologies Don't Land in Relationships
In this From the Couch episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish explores why apologies often don’t land in relationships and what keeps couples feeling stuck even after saying “I’m sorry.” She explains how performative apologies, over-focusing on intent, and rushing forgiveness can minimize hurt and block true repair. Drawing from clinical experience, Dr. Tracy breaks down the role of impact, accountability,
Why “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough and What Accountability Really Looks Like
In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish and her husband Greg explore why accountability is so difficult in relationships and how blame quietly breaks connection. They unpack the difference between intent and impact, why apologies often fall flat, and how defensiveness shows up even when partners mean well. Through real-life examples and practical language, Dr. Tracy explains what true accountability
ICYMI: Body Memories and Intergenerational Healing with Dr. Tanya Cotler
This In-Case-You-Missed-It-Episode and a must-listen-to episode.
Coming to you from Nashville, Tennessee, Dr. Tracy reunites in person with her dear friend Dr. Tanya Cotler, a clinical psychologist specializing in maternal mental health and child-parent attachment. Dr. Tracy kicks off the episode by sharing a recent personal experience of a body memory—a sudden, unexplained emotional outburst she
What Parents and Couples Need Most During the Holiday Season
In this solo episode, clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish invites listeners into the real emotional landscape of the holidays, far beyond picture perfect family photos. She shares five powerful reflections to help couples and parents move through holiday stress with more connection, less pressure, and a lot more self compassion.
Drawing from her experience as a highl
The One Question Every Couple Should Ask at the End of the Year
As the year winds down, many couples reflect on work, finances, and goals—but often forget to reflect on their relationship. In this episode, clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish shares why an end-of-year relationship check-in is one of the most powerful tools couples can use to move out of autopilot and into intention. This conversation isn’t about fixing, blaming, or
Dear Dr. Tracy Q&A: How to Carry Everyone Without Breaking Yourself
Dr. Tracy Dalgleish answers listener questions on caregiving burnout when a partner has chronic health issues, using Spoon Theory to protect the relationship without losing yourself. She shares practical scripts for rebalancing roles during flare-ups, nervous system regulation tools, and ways to support kids with honesty, predictability, and emotional safety. The episode also covers how to stay co
Why In-Law Visits Can Break the Couple Bond and How to Stay a Team
In this From The Couch episode, clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish unpacks a painful but common experience many couples face in in law relationships: The moment when a partner seems to disappear emotionally after stepping into their family of origin, leaving the other partner feeling alone, unprotected, or disconnected.
Dr. Tracy explains why this shift happens, dra
The Hidden Hurt Behind Dismissive Partners
In this candid conversation, clinical psychologist Dr. Tracy Dalgleish and her husband Greg unpack a real moment from their own marriage to explore one of the most common and misunderstood relational challenges dismissiveness. Together they break down why phrases like “you’re right,” “everything will be fine,” and “don’t you think you’re being sensitive” leave partners feeling unseen and alone, ev
The Mindset Shift That Brings You Back to Peace When Others Won't Change
In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish shares two of her most trusted strategies for navigating difficult family dynamics—especially during the holiday season when old patterns, expectations, and nervous system triggers tend to flare. Drawing from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, she explains why we can’t change or control others, and how “dropping the rope” and questioning the stories we tell our
When Your Partner’s Family Turns on You: Why In-Law Conflict Hurts More Than We Realize
In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish unpacks one of the most painful and confusing dynamics she sees in couples: being warmly welcomed into a partner’s family—only to later become the outsider.
Through a powerful listener story, she explores why these sudden shifts occur, how family systems create scapegoats, and why meaningful accountability is often out of reach. Dr. Tracy also breaks down wha
You’re Not Broken: The Real Reason You Still React After Leaving a Toxic Partner—and How to Rewire for Connection
In this episode of From the Couch, Dr. Tracy talks about what really happens after ending a toxic or narcissistic relationship and why healing isn’t just emotional—it’s neurological.
When you’ve spent years being shamed, blamed, or dismissed, your nervous system learns that mistakes and disagreements aren’t safe. Neurons that fire together wire together, meaning your body develops reflexive resp
The Mental Load Trap That’s Quietly Breaking Your Connection: How the Holidays Turn You Into Roommates
In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg explore what really happens to couples during the holiday season—the mental load, the invisible labour, the unspoken assumptions, and those moments when partners suddenly realize they feel more like roommates than a connected team. Dr. Tracy explains why the holidays create the perfect storm for disconnection, how stress triggers negative sentiment override, and
When Family Won’t Say “I’m Sorry”: Boundaries, Forgiveness, and What to Do Next
In this short, impactful episode, Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish answers one of the most common questions she hears: Should I hold out for an apology from a parent or in-law?
When you share your hurt and they respond with defensiveness, justification, or minimization, it often triggers shame and escalation—leaving you feeling unseen and even more frustrated. Dr
Raine Maida & Chantal Kreviazuk on Real Marriage: How Long-Term Love Thrives
What really happens behind closed doors when two iconic artists build a marriage, a family, and a creative life together?
In this intimate conversation, I sit down with Canadian musicians Raine Maida (Our Lady Peace) and Chantal Kreviazuk to talk about the real work of long-term love. We explore the story behind their documentary I’m Going to Break Your Heart, the “burnt chicken” moment that rev
Less Is More: The Secret to Being Heard in Conflict and Decreasing Your Partner's Defensiveness
In moments of conflict, it’s easy to feel unheard—and to keep “piling on” examples in the hope that your partner will finally understand.
But what if that very habit is the thing preventing real repair?
In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish unpacks why we overload our partners during arguments, how it triggers defensiveness, and what to do instead to foster connection and accountability. You’ll
Are You on Relationship Autopilot? Break Out of Autopilot Mode and Into Connection
Do you ever feel like you’re just going through the motions in your relationship—managing, reacting, doing, but not truly connecting? In this candid conversation, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish and her husband Greg explore what it means to slip into autopilot mode—that state where we function out of habit rather than intention. They unpack the science and psychology behind it, revealing how early experiences
Dr. Tracy Answers: How to Navigate a Difficult Sister-in-Law
In this From the Couch episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish answers a listener’s question about navigating conflict with a sister-in-law. Using her expertise as a psychologist and couples therapist, she unpacks toxic family patterns, explores loyalty binds within families, and shares practical strategies to help couples stay united when extended-family dynamics create tension. Learn how to set boundaries,
From Helpless to Hopeful in Your In-Law Dynamic: Inside the Making of You, Your Husband, and His Mother
Have you ever felt caught between your partner and his mother—or wondered how a whole book on that exact dynamic comes to life?
In this cozy, behind-the-scenes conversation, Dr. Tracy sits down with her husband Greg to share the real story of writing You, Your Husband, and His Mother—from 4:30 a.m. writing sessions and walking voice notes, to landing a Big 5 book deal and holding the finished bo
Nobody Wants This Season 2: The Mother-in-Law Power Struggle and What Healthy Boundaries Really Look Like
In Season 2, Episode 2 of Nobody Wants This, Joanne delivers the now-viral line: “Mothers have been hating their son’s girlfriends since the beginning of time…” — and it’s the ultimate masterclass in boundaries. Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, clinical psychologist and author of You, Your Husband, and His Mother, unpacks why Bina’s behavior is a textbook case of enmeshment, guilt, and control disguised as ca
Breaking Family Cycles: The Traits of Emotionally Intelligent Mothers-in-Law (and Why It Matters for Your Marriage)
In this final episode of the series, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, psychologist and relationship expert, discusses the importance of emotional intelligence in family dynamics, particularly focusing on the role of mothers-in-law. She outlines key behaviors that emotionally intelligent mothers-in-law exhibit, such as protecting the couple unit, communicating effectively, owning their impact, including withou
The Difference Between a Boundary and a Threat — Especially Around the Holidays
In this From the Couch session, Psychologist and Relationship Expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish breaks down one of the biggest questions she gets during the holiday season: What’s the difference between a boundary and a threat?
If you’ve ever said, “I’m not hosting this year,” or “If you keep acting like that, we’re never coming over again,” this episode will help you understand why one creates peace an
In-Law Drama to Teamwork: How to Get on the Same Page with Your Partner Before the Holidays
In this special episode of Dear Dr. Tracy, clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish sits down with her husband, Greg, to answer real, anonymous listener questions about mothers-in-law (MILs), in-law dynamics, holiday boundaries, and getting on the same page as a couple.
Drawing from her upcoming book, You, Your Husband, and His Mother (launching November 4), Dr. Tracy br
How to Stop Being Defensive in Your Relationship: Couples Therapist Strategies for Better Communication
Defensiveness is one of the most common reasons couples get stuck in repetitive fights — but few people understand what’s actually driving it. In this episode, Clinical Psychologist Dr. Tracy Dalgleish explains the psychology of defensiveness, how shame and fear of rejection play a role, and the proven tools that help couples communicate without walls going up. Learn how to respond without reactin
When Family Boundaries Break: Understanding Estrangement and Healing Generational Patterns with Whitney Goodman
In this special episode of Dear Dr. Tracy, part of the You, Your Husband, and His Mother book launch series, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish sits down with therapist and author Whitney Goodman to unpack one of the most misunderstood family experiences — estrangement.
Together, they explore why more people are creating distance from toxic or boundary-violating family members, what healthy families actually l
The VIRAL Sherlocked Thread: From Victim to Main Character Energy And All About Boundaries
From The Couch - Short hits, hot topics.
The I_am_sherlocked phenomenon has taken over Threads — but what’s really drawing us in isn’t just her posts, it’s what they represent.
From The Couch, I explore why we’re so captivated by someone unapologetically setting boundaries and saying no without guilt. We’ll unpack what this viral moment reveals about women’s exhaustion, people-pleasing, and t
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