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Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Infidelity
Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Infidelity
A Christian marriage recovery podcast hosted by Emily and Johnny Spigelmire, who share their personal journey of healing after adultery and pornography addiction. The show offers hope and guidance for betrayed spouses and betrayers, focusing on rebuilding trust, forgiveness, and intimacy. It aims to help couples move from a marriage of secrets to one of honesty and transparency.
Episodes
179 | A Word of Hope
We have a quick episode for you today with some important reminders, some encouragement, plus a beautiful word of hope from scripture.
Join us for a few minutes to help you get grounded this week and remember that you are not alone and there is hope!
We pray this blesses you,
Johnny and Emily
💚TIP JAR - If this, or any of our episodes, brought you hope or encouragement, please leave us a l
178 | From Triggers to Trust: Redeeming the Beach 8 Years Later
Recovery is not a straight line, and hitting an unexpected landmine years down the road can feel like falling all the way back to day one. Recording from our anniversary trip, we unpack a sudden trigger that hit Emily in a hotel pool, dragging up painful memories of the past and the heavy reality of betrayal trauma.
Instead of old patterns taking over—withdrawal, defensiveness, or panic—this mom
177 | Beaches, Bikinis, and Boundaries: Real-time Vigilance After Sexual Betrayal
Geography holds memory—and for couples healing from sexual betrayal, certain places can feel like emotional minefields.
Eight years after Discovery Day, we returned to a beach tied to some of the most painful pre-D-Day memories of our marriage.
We didn't go back to pretend the past never happened; we went to reclaim the ground. But stepping onto that sand meant facing the reality of the settin
176 | Buried in Shame, Anxiety, or Fear? Exposing the Root Cause for True Healing, with Heather O’Brien
Before packing our bags for our wedding anniversary trip to intentionally reclaim and redeem a beach tied to pre-D-Day memories, we sat down for a raw, foundational conversation with returning guest Heather O’Brien.
If you have spent months or years in betrayal recovery, you know how exhausting it is to manage the daily fallout. The anxiety spikes, the sudden triggers, the paralyzing shame, the
175 | Experience, Strength, and Hope After Porn-Fueled Infidelity: Johnny’s 12th Step Presentation
True healing cannot take root in the shadows of half-truths. In this deeply candid episode of Beyond Broken Vows, we open the door to Johnny’s personal Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) 12-step presentation, offering an unsparing look at the destructive path of sexual addiction and the transformative power of rigorous, Christ-centered recovery.
Johnny retraces the roots of his brokenness back to his f
174 | Why Double Standards Become Necessary While Recovering From Infidelity
“Why do I have to share my location, hand over my phone, and check in constantly, while my spouse doesn’t have to do any of that?”
If you have wrestled with the frustration of accountability rules that feel completely one-sided, this conversation is for you.
In this episode, we tackle the reality of double standards after sexual betrayal—why they exist, why they are necessary, and how to navig
173 | From Manager to Ally: Finding True Safety Without Policing His Healing
Last week we challenged husbands to stop treating recovery like a program to complete and start living it as a way of life. This week, we’re talking to the wives who picked up the slack.
In this episode, we cover:
Why managing your husband’s recovery is a trauma response—not control for control’s sake
What “managing” actually looks like in daily life (you might be doing it without realizing)
172 | Porn Addiction Recovery: What's Beyond Working the Steps?
There is a common misunderstanding that recovery is a mountain to be climbed—a series of steps, chapters, or weeks that, once completed, allow you to finally stand at the summit and call the work “finished.”
But if you have spent your time checking the boxes of a recovery program only to find that the peace you promised your spouse hasn’t yet taken root, you are not alone.
In this episode, we
171 | Rupture and Repair in Your Marriage Beyond Sexual Betrayal
In this episode of Beyond Broken Vows, we get real about “rupture and repair”—because let’s face it, every marriage hits those moments where things fall apart.
We’re not talking about the big blow-ups that get all the attention; we’re talking about those quieter breaks in connection that happen after infidelity, when a simple misunderstanding or a triggered memory sends one of you reeling.
We
170 | On Common Ground with Intimate Betrayal: Our Summer Stories of Hope Series Wrap Up
All summer long, we’ve sat with courageous friends from the Beyond Broken Vows family.
Aimee, Kevin, Felicia, Jacob & Leah, Suzanne, RD, Heidi, Tricia, and Emily each opened up their lives and shared the raw, unfiltered “messy middle” of betrayal and recovery.
Nine stories. Nine marriages. Nine unique journeys through the wreckage of infidelity.
And yet, as we look back over the season,
169 | Summer Stories of Hope: Betrayed Again! Is She Enough? with Emily
Emily married her “Prince Charming” at 20, expecting a lifetime of safety. Instead, she spent the next two decades in a silent battle with betrayal.
Just three years into their marriage, she discovered evidence of affairs. Rather than seeking help, she fell into the trap of shame, blaming herself and spending 17 years trying to “perfect” her way into a better marriage.
The mask finally slipped
168 | Summer Stories of Hope: When Decades of Secrets Escalate to an Affair, with Tricia
For twenty-two years, Tricia’s marriage carried a quiet, underlying tension. Five years in, she discovered her husband’s pornography use.
For decades after, she lived in a state of constant, lonely hypervigilance, trying to manage the distance without any outside help.
Then, the ground beneath her completely gave way.
After a coworker pursued her husband, a series of crossed boundaries turne
167 | Summer Stories of Hope: Betrayal from the Beginning, with Heidi
The trauma in Heidi’s marriage didn’t start with a slow fade. It started the day after her wedding, when she answered a phone call from a woman her new husband had been sexually involved with.
For the next 17 years, Heidi lived in the fog of a marriage that looked fine on the outside. But inside, she felt married to a stranger.
Then the facade broke again when she discovered extensive pornogra
166 | Summer Stories of Hope: Beyond Extortion and Trickle Truth, with R.D.
On paper, R.D. and his wife had a life built on a foundation of faith and family. But in the quiet moments, the immense weight of family life and financial strain left R.D. looking for an escape.
He found it in pornography and online chat rooms—a secret life that kept him isolated from the people he loved most.
When a digital extortionist threatened to expose his hidden life, the secret didn’t
165 | Summer Stories of Hope: Healing From Sexual Betrayal and Relapse, with Suzanne
Note: Our guest’s name has been changed for privacy.
Before she and her husband got married, he told her about his childhood sexual abuse and same-sex attraction. He said he was in counseling. She thought it was handled.
It wasn’t.
Thirty-eight years, four children, multiple betrayals, a rehab stint, and a relapse later, Suzanne knows the truth: healing is not a one-time decision. It’s a dai
164 | Summer Stories of Hope: Discovering True Intimacy After Infidelity, with Jacob and Leah
They met at a homeschool ski lesson when they were eight. Married young. Kids came fast. On paper, it was a dream.
Behind closed doors, it was falling apart.
Poor communication. Resentment. Faith tension. And in secret, Jacob’s pornography addiction escalated into sexual experiences outside his marriage. They were living entirely separate lives.
Then God showed up at a marriage retreat.
Du
163 | Summer Stories of Hope: Beyond Porn-Fueled Infidelity, with Felicia
For decades, Felicia believed she was in a close, happy marriage—until a quiet afternoon in October 2022 revealed a
hidden reality that shattered her world in an instant.
Felicia walks us through the profound shock of discovering her husband’s secret pornography addiction. She shares the painful aftermath: the feelings of isolation, the well-meaning but misguided advice to “just forgive,” a
162 | Summer Stories of Hope: From Isolation to Connection, with Kevin
In this episode of our Summer Stories of Hope series, we speak with Kevin about his recovery journey and the restoration of his marriage. For years, Kevin struggled with a cycle of pornography use and secrecy that created significant distance in his relationship with his wife.
Kevin shares his experience of the discovery process, the difficult season that followed, including time spent apart, an
161 | Summer Stories of Hope: Beyond Sexual Secrets, with Aimee
Welcome to our “Summer Stories of Hope” series.
In this episode, we share Aimee’s story—a journey that forces us to look at how we survive when the ground beneath our feet shifts, not once, but repeatedly.
After thirty years of marriage and surviving the unimaginable agony of losing both her daughters, Aimee’s husband delivered the final blow: a confession of a long-term pornography addic
160 | 3 Years of Helping Couples Move From Sexual Betrayal to True Intimacy
We started the Beyond Broken Vows podcast with nothing but a desire to obey God’s call in the middle of our own shattered marriage.
Now, looking back after three years of walking through that fire with Him, we know one thing for certain: He is the ultimate Redeemer.
Our journey has been defined by the hard, holy work of surrender, and we are here to invite you into that same hope.
If you’re
159 | Soul Ties: Still Carrying a Piece of Your Past?
We often talk about the weight of sexual betrayal, but rarely do we discuss the invisible, spiritual webs that keep us tethered to our past. A soul tie is more than just a memory; it is an emotional and spiritual connection formed when we yield our body and heart to another.
While God established this spiritual framework to be the cornerstone of a healthy, covenant marriage, the Enemy of our sou
158 | Beyond the Wall of Isolation: They Know Too Much! (Making it Right)
In our series, Beyond the Wall of Isolation, we’ve spent the last several weeks dismantling the myths that keep Christian couples trapped in cycles of secrecy and shame. We’ve talked about the masks we wear, the burdens we carry, and the importance of a united front when it comes to our children.
But we know that for many of you, this series feels like it might be a little late. You’re listening
157 | Beyond the Wall of Isolation: Fears of the Parents (Telling the Kids)
In our current series, Behind the Wall of Isolation, we are dismantling the myths that keep Christian couples trapped in cycles of secrecy and shame.
Today we’re tackling something that keeps a lot of parents awake at night…
Should we talk to the kids about the betrayal?
And if so, when?
And how?
When hiding the reality of our marriage from our kids, we aren’t just trying to protect them
156 | Beyond the Wall of Isolation: Fears of the Wife (The Burden)
In our ongoing series, Behind the Wall of Isolation, we are stripping away the myths that keep Christian couples stuck in cycles of secrecy and shame.
Building on our conversations about why “keeping it in-house” never protects a marriage, today’s episode walks through eight fears that stop many wives from sharing their story with others.
Join us as we address these obstacles head-on and discu
155 | Beyond the Wall of Isolation: Fears of the Husband (The Mask)
Have you encountered one of the most dangerous traps in the entire recovery process?
Today we’re talking to husbands, who have been unfaithful to their wives, about the myth of “Managing the Reputation” which can trap men, and marriages, in isolation.
Husband’s, you may be terrified of what people will think if they see the reality behind the mask you wear. You’re holding onto the “honorable”
154 | Beyond the Wall of Isolation (Series Intro)
Isolation is the secret weapon of betrayal. When a husband is hiding a life of porn or stepping outside the marriage for sex, he’s essentially building a wall. He’s living a double life, and that wall keeps his wife on the outside holding her breath, while he’s off in his own dark, private world.
It kills intimacy, it kills trust, and honestly, it turns marriage into a performance.
The goal is
153 | The Objectification Trap: Is "Looking" a Gateway Drug?
In this episode, we explore the destructive cycle of objectification, which is the act of stripping away a person’s humanity to turn them into a mere object for our own selfish purposes.
Whether performed mentally through imagination, emotionally to soothe personal discomfort, verbally, or physically, this objectification mindset can be a gateway to sin.
When we begin to view others as parts r
152 | He Exposed Me! God's Plan for My Freedom from Porn
Hello Man of God,
Have you been stuck in a seemingly unending cycle of persistent sexual integrity issues - be it pornography, one-night stands, sex workers, or long-term sexual relationships, only to find yourself in prayer, at the "alter" or at the "foot of the cross" asking God to remove this sin from your life?
Did God answer you??
Did God remove your desire for pornography??
For many
151 | Resurrection Life for Your Marriage
In this episode, we reflect on the sacred weight of Passion Week, and invite you to pause and turn your eyes toward the transformative final days of Jesus’s earthly life.
From the triumphant shouts of Palm Sunday to the agonizing solitude of Gethsemane and the ultimate sacrifice at the Cross, this week is a reminder that the path to redemption always requires a death.
We reflect on the gravity
150 | Are You Weaponizing the Bible in Recovery from Infidelity?
As Christ followers, we absolutely want to use the scriptures as our primary guide for living our lives. Afterall, as it says in 2 Tim. 3:16-17, all scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training, in righteousness so that the servant of God may be equipped for every good work.
We love God’s Word, but sometimes we can use scripture as a weapon.
On today’
149 | 4 Ways To Go The Extra Mile When Recovering From Sexual Betrayal
We’ve walked the hard road of betrayal and addiction, and we know that half-measures simply don’t cut it when you are fighting for the heart of your marriage. True healing isn’t about just stopping the bad behavior—it’s about actively pursuing the life God intended for your covenant, even when the path is difficult.
Today, we’re talking about what it really takes to go the extra mile. We’re disc
148 | Are You Helping or Hindering Your Wife's Betrayal Trauma Recovery?
In our coaching practice, we see patterns emerge in different areas that tell a bigger story about what is going on in the minds husbands who have betrayed, and their traumatized wives.
Today we are going to talk about the scenario of a husband making suggestions for the recovery and healing of his wife. This is tricky ground. The husband’s motivation can come from a place of genuine concern or
147 | Did You Ever Really Love Me? Facing the Heartache of Sexual Betrayal
Today, we want to talk about an extremely painful question betrayed wives ask their unfaithful husbands.
It’s a question that torments a wife when looking at the history of her marriage through the lens of infidelity.
Those memories of special times spent together - vacations, family events, wedding anniversaries - are tainted by the new knowledge that she wasn’t his one and only love.
She c
146 | Hit the PAUSE Button for Triggers After Sexual Betrayal
Today, we’re tackling Triggers and Trauma Responses, post-betrayal alarms that test our commitment after infidelity is discovered in the marriage.
We talked over this topic in our last Unseen Beauty wives care group gathering and it’s something that all betrayed wives experience. Several of the women gave examples of recent triggers and some were able to give wonderful insights on how to handle
145 | From Sex-Addiction to Addiction Whack-a-Mole
Sometimes recovery isn’t just killing one addiction—it can be like a game of Whack-a-Mole. Kill the sex addiction, and others pop up.
Picture this...you’re in an arcade, inexplicably drawn to the game called Whack-a-Mole. The idea of the game is when a mole pops up you whack it with a padded mallet, and as you strike it, it goes down into its hole.
But another one pops up in another area.
No
144 | Post Disclosure Revelation: Setback or Breakthrough?
Imagine this: You’ve survived the gut-wrenching reality of Full Disclosure. The truth is out—presumably there are no more secrets.
After a long healing journey, you’re starting to breathe again.
Then… bam. A new revelation drops.
Is it a devastating setback… or the breakthrough you’ve been praying for?
Today, we share a real story and the benefits that can turn pain into progress—stick aro
143 | After Disclosure: He Feels Better, She Feels Worse
Today, we’re diving into one of the rawest pains a marriage can face: infidelity.
Specifically, that pivotal moment when the unfaithful spouse – often the husband – finally comes clean. He unloads decades of secrets, and suddenly his prison of guilt and shame cracks open. Freedom hits him like a wave of hope.
But for the wife? Those same words shatter her world. She’s left carrying the weight
142 | Level Up Your Honesty After Sexual Betrayal
Is honesty just as simple as telling the truth, or is there more to it?
We are going to unpack that question to reveal some nuances of truth telling that some may not have considered before.
But isn’t truth, truth?
Yes, truth is always truth, but what we’ve discovered through our own healing journey is that inside of the practice of telling the truth, there are layers that are not necessaril
141 | Infidelity Disclosure: How Much Do I Need to Know?
In our previous episode, we were focusing on questions some husbands and wives have about the need for a Full Therapeutic Disclosure as well as some of the reasons couples hesitate to engage in this process.
We have seen some amazing restoration of marriages through this process and today we’re going to talk about disclosure, not just what happens inside of a Full Therapeutic Disclosure, but al
140 | How Well Do You Really Know Your Spouse When Infidelity Becomes Your Reality
Today we’re going to talk about something that strikes fear into the heart of every husband who has been unfaithful - Full Therapeutic Disclosure.
It’s a topic that sounds scary, but it is one of the best tools for recovery that we have discovered and implemented into our coaching practice.
Not only for husbands who have been unfaithful, but also for their betrayed wives.
We have seen God do
139 | We Plan - God Purposes: Vision Casting with a Rearview Mirror
How is it already 2026? The start of a new year is an opportunity to look back and reflect on the experiences we've been through and what they've taught us.
But the new year isn’t just about looking back; it's also a chance to look forward and spend some time imagining what could be.
It’s easy to feel stuck in the present and think that things might never change or improve.
It's like trudgin
138 | Let Jesus Shine His Light on Your Path to Recovery from Infidelity
We hope you were able to find some special moments this Christmas even if you are walking through the pain of sexual betrayal. You may be really glad that this year is ending, but not sure next year will be any better.
We’re just dropping in for a quick message of encouragement today and give you some hope and direction for this coming year.
We are sharing an inspiring and meaningful message f
137 | A Christmas Message of Hope for Hurting Spouses
As a wife, you may be reeling from the news of sexual betrayal and you are in shock, grieving, and lost.
Or as a husband, your infidelity may have recently been discovered and the shame is suffocating and you feel like you are going to lose your wife and everyone who truly matters to you.
And you may be saying to yourself, “I am alone and I have no hope”.
Our mission here at Beyond Broken Vo
136 | Stuck in a Rut: 6 Traps that Hinder Recovery for an Unfaithful Husband
True healing from sexual sin and betrayal is a journey that goes beyond just stopping certain behaviors; it demands a fundamental transformation of the heart.
For husbands, the journey to rebuild trust and find healing can be challenging, filled with obstacles that can slow down progress and unintentionally cause more conflict. Often we can get in our own way without realizing it.
In this epis
135 | Stuck in the Wound: 4 Traps That Hinder Healing For a Betrayed Wife
When a wife discovers her husband’s sexual betrayal, her world shatters. The path to healing is difficult enough without unknowingly creating additional roadblocks.
In this episode, we explore 4 common but counterproductive patterns that keep Christian wives stuck in their pain.
We’ll identify these self-sabotaging behaviors, uncover the biblical truths that dismantle them, and provide practic
134 | Emotionally Ready for Sex? 4 Steps to Healthy Sexuality for Husbands After Sexual Betrayal
After the discovery and disclosure of sexual betrayal in a marriage, couples who choose to stay married and embrace the healing and recovery journey, will eventually need to address their sexuality again.
This will look different for every couple, but the ultimate goal is to have a healthier sexual intimacy than before the destruction of porn-fueled infidelity came to light.
We have been worki
133 | Infidelity is a Turkey - Here's 6 Reasons to Give Thanks Anyway
We understand you may be in the middle of the fall-out from sexual betrayal in your marriage. Maybe you just found out, or you have been found out. Maybe you’ve been walking this path for a while and still feel like you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
As the holiday season approaches, this unwanted and extremely painful circumstance can destroy all the anticipation of spending spec
132 | 12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Markers 10, 11, and 12)
The aftermath of sexual betrayal is a complete upheaval of a marriage’s foundation. It doesn’t just damage trust—it systematically dismantles it, leaving a wife questioning her entire reality. The world she knew is gone, replaced by a landscape of pain, confusion, and profound uncertainty.
For husbands who have broken our marriage vows, this new reality teaches us a critical truth: trust is not
131 | Our Navy Days Love Story and a Salute to Veterans
Today we honor our veterans who defended our land, people, and way of life—a commitment reflecting a biblical understanding of nationhood. The military is a God-ordained institution for maintaining order (Romans 13), and honoring veterans acknowledges this divine role.
Their sacrifice secured our religious freedom, allowing us to worship and spread the Gospel. A strong national defense protects
130 | 12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Markers 7, 8, and 9)
The devastation of sexual betrayal leaves no part of a marriage untouched. It obliterates the very trust the relationship was built upon.
For the spouse who discovers the lies and hidden double life, it’s as if the floor has vanished beneath their feet. Their entire understanding of reality is fractured in an instant, leaving them disoriented and questioning everything they thought was true.
A
129 | 12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Markers 4, 5, and 6)
Sexual betrayal destroys all trust in a marriage. When the lies and double life of an unfaithful husband (or wife) come to light, the betrayed spouse has no solid ground to stand on. What was real is instantly shattered and nothing is clear anymore.
It can leave an unfaithful spouse struggling for a way to regain the trust that was selfishly tossed aside. Trust is earned - not expected just by v
128 | 12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Markers 1, 2, and 3)
When trust has been shattered after marital infidelity is revealed through either discovery or confession, what hope does a repentant husband have for regaining his wife’s trust? Will she ever be able to trust him again?
These are common questions many couples ask as they sift through the rubble of what was once considered to be a happy, loving, and committed marriage.
Fortunately, there is an
127 | 12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Series Intro)
When infidelity shatters the reality of a perceived happy marriage and reveals a foundation crumbling under the weight of lies and deception, one of the most difficult losses is the trust that was instinctively given when exchanging vows to love, honor, and cherish one another.
This loss of trust can be more painful than betrayal itself. It can leave a wife on unsteady ground with little hope th
126 | Forgiving Yourself After Betraying Your Wife
Have you ever thought about how the toughest barriers holding you back might not be out there in the world, but instead created in the hidden corners of your own mind?
For the man battling sex addiction, the compulsive behavior is often just the symptom of a deeper problem: a faulty belief system built on a foundation of shame, self-loathing, and the unshakable conviction that you are, at your c
125 | 4 Reasons Showing Compassion Feels Risky for Betrayed Wives
Navigating the aftermath of a husband’s sexual betrayal is a complex and deeply painful journey for a wife.
While a natural desire to support his recovery may exist, it often clashes with powerful, protective emotions born from the trauma itself.
The act of showing compassion can feel fraught with risk, not as a sign of a lack of love, but as a defense mechanism against further pain and a mean
124 | From Hurt to Hope Through Rigorous Honesty
When you hear the word “honesty,” what comes to mind? Is it a simple binary—you either tell the truth or you don’t?
Or do you see it on a sliding scale, where a “little white lie” is a 2 and a deliberate, premeditated deception is a 10?
If your marriage has been shattered by porn-fueled infidelity, you know the brutal truth: the lies and deception surrounding the acting out are often more dest
123 | The One Thing Worse Than Porn-Fueled Infidelity in Marriage
In marriages wounded by sexual betrayal, the deepest injury isn't the act itself, but the web of lies that concealed it.
It’s a staggering reality that the concept of honesty is not as straightforward as many would like to believe.
Lies can come in various forms, from outright falsehoods to subtle omissions and misleading statements, all of which can have profound effects on trust in relations
122 | Can Jesus Be Found in the Traditional 12-Steps of Addiction Recovery?
What comes to mind when someone brings up 12-Step recovery?
Maybe you think of Alcoholics Anonymous?
Or perhaps group meetings?
Do you also wonder if 12-Step programs are only for those who don’t see Jesus as Savior and Lord of all?
Should followers of Christ consider participating, even if Jesus isn't the central focus?
There are certainly some common misconceptions about where the orig
121 | I Need You Where I Am: My Wife Feels "This Way" Because...(Series 3 of 3)
Today we wrap up our series, I Need You Where I AM. In the first episode of our series, we focused on a statement that many betrayed wives relate to, "My Husband Just Doesn’t 'Get It'.”
And what is the “it” he’s not getting? Not understanding the magnitude of what his actions through infidelity have done to her.
In the second episode in our series, we covered some of the ways betrayed wives a
120 | I Need You Where I Am: Infidelity's Surprising Effects for Her (Series 2 of 3)
Today in the second installment of our series, I Need You Where I Am, we turn the spotlight fully onto the wreckage inside a wife’s body and soul after sexual betrayal.
The physical, emotional, and spiritual effects of betrayal trauma are real and profound. A wife experiencing these effects may think she is going crazy. She is not. It just feels that way.
As we talked about last week, a husban
119 | I Need You Where I Am: Why Unfaithful Husbands Just Don’t Get It (Series 1 of 3)
Today we want to speak to both spouses who are bravely navigating the deep and challenging waters following a discovery and disclosure of sexual betrayal.
We understand that this emotional journey can feel overwhelming and may be difficult to sort out on your own.
Today we’re excited to present a relatable word-picture that aims to make the experience of a husband’s infidelity a little easier
118 | Is It Okay to Take a Break While Recovering from Sexual Betrayal?
Recovery work is hard! It is not something that either spouse ever wanted and sometimes it can feel like it takes over everything else in life. Is it okay to take breaks from the difficult conversations and the grieving process?
Yes! We all need to take a break from the struggle occasionally and recharge so we can get back in and do the next right thing.
We have a shorter show today, but lots
117 | Real Help for Christians Battling Pornography, with John-Michael Bout
In this episode we are excited to have John-Michael Bout share his powerful testimony of struggling with pornography addiction since the age of eight and how he overcame it through God's grace, supportive friendships, and accountability.
John-Michael also introduces his ministry, Into the Light, which offers various free resources including documentaries, video series, and workbooks to help indi
116 | From Shattered Vows to Sacred Surrender: The Counterintuitive Path to Healing
When you hear the word surrender, what comes to mind?
Does it feel like defeat, like giving up?
We often see surrender as weakness. And for those who like to control everything, surrender seems counterintuitive.
Our instinct is to protect ourselves. Both spouses often resist and hide from the painful path to healing.
In a marriage shattered by sexual betrayal, the fear is that giving up co
115 | How U Doin? 5-Step Check-In for Couples in Recovery from Infidelity
Today we tackle the hardest skill in any marriage - especially after the devastation of sexual betrayal - honest, open communication.
We frame true intimacy as a three-legged stool built on transparency, vulnerability and rigorous honesty, then soften the seat with a cushion of humility so the whole thing doesn’t collapse under the weight of pain and suspicion.
Our goal is to move from theory
114 | "I Know the Plans I Have for You" After Sexual Betrayal Shatters Your Marriage
Whether you have just recently discovered your spouse’s infidelity or have been working through the recovery process for a while, you are going to want to tune in to today’s episode.
It’s hard to imagine a future where there is honesty, connection, and true intimacy after the marriage vows have been shattered into dust.
But God…
Today we’re exploring what could be possible for your marriage
113 | No Stone Unturned in Recovery from Porn-Fueled Infidelity
Sexual sin—especially porn-fueled infidelity—doesn’t just wound a marriage; it buries it under shame, secrecy, and shattered trust. But just as Jesus called Lazarus out of the grave, He can resurrect even the most broken relationships.
Your marriage may feel like a tomb right now, but Christ specializes in resurrecting dead things.
Today in this hope-filled, and sometimes emotional conversatio
112 | Need a Full Therapeutic Disclosure After Infidelity? (Part 2)
The disclosure is done. The secrets are out. Now what?
If you’ve been through Full Therapeutic Disclosure—or if you’re still mustering the courage to start—you know this isn’t the end. It’s the real beginning. Because truth doesn’t just expose the brokenness… it reveals the path forward.
This is the second half of our FTD episode—where we walk you through the final 3 steps of the disclosure pr
111 | Need a Full Therapeutic Disclosure After Infidelity? (Part 1)
Marriage isn’t just a contract—it’s a covenant, a sacred vow before God and man.
But sexual betrayal doesn’t just break trust… it shatters the covenant itself. The foundation is cracked. The vows feel like a lie. And now, both of you are standing in the wreckage—one drowning in grief, the other paralyzed by guilt.
But here’s the truth: You can’t rebuild on broken ground. Before forgiveness, be
110 | 7 BBVisms to Guide You Through Sex Addiction & Betrayal Trauma Recovery
Have you ever stumbled upon a quote that just felt like it was made for you? You know, the kind that resonates so deeply with what you’re going through that it seems like a turning point in your journey?
We all encounter those special quotes that cause us to pause and reflect. While we’re not promising that your life will be changed by them, today we’re sharing with you some of our own special s
109 | Healing Through Honesty: A View Into a Marriage Transformed by Truth (with Sathiya Sam)
We’re so excited to share this special episode with you from beautiful Honduras. This one’s close to our hearts—we sat down with our friend Sathiya Sam, from The Man Within Podcast, and got real about our story: the messy, the painful, and the beautiful redemption that came after.
We opened up about everything—our early years, the hard season of betrayal, and how, by God’s grace, we fought
108 | Who is God When Sexual Betrayal Shatters Your Marriage? Feat. Robin Wilson and Christy Bottom
In the tumultuous journey of marriage, trust is the cornerstone that holds this covenant union together. But what happens when this trust is shattered by sexual betrayal? How does a betrayed wife comprehend this new reality she never saw coming?
In today’s episode, we dive deep into these questions with the insightful perspectives of Robin Wilson and Christy Bottom, authors of their newly releas
107 | Celebrating What God Has Done! Healing Marriages Shattered by Porn-Fueled Infidelity
Have you ever stepped out in faith, trusting God’s call even when the road ahead looked uncertain?
Two years ago, we took that leap—surrendering our fears, our past hurts, and our plans, to follow where Jesus was leading us. And we’re here to tell you: God has been faithful. Not just in sustaining us, but in growing us—deepening our marriage, stretching our faith, and opening doors in ministry w
106 | From Furious to Curious: How the ‘Emotions Wheel’ Unlocks Deeper Conversations After Infidelity
Infidelity profoundly shakes the emotional foundation of a marriage, often leading to feelings of confusion, mistrust, and pain. In the midst of all this chaos, it's common for couples to feel unsure of how to find their way forward.
In this episode, we’re excited to explore how the Emotions Wheel, based on Plutchik’s theory and Willcox’s tool, can be a wonderful resource for couples facing th
105 | God, Where Were You When…? Questions in the Aftermath of Betrayal
When sexual betrayal shatters a marriage, the deepest wounds often come with agonizing questions—especially about God’s timing. Why did He allow the lies to continue for years? Where was He when the vows were being broken?
In this raw conversation, we tackle the three most tormenting questions betrayed wives ask God, and the surprising hope Scripture offers both the betrayed and the betrayer.
104 | Sifting Through the Rubble After Infidelity Explodes Your Marriage
Being betrayed by hidden infidelity is like walking through a museum you helped build—room by room, the laughter, whispered promises, and the quiet certainty of a shared history. Every glance, every touch, every “I love you” hung like priceless art on walls you thought would stand forever.
But somewhere deep in the walls, a gas leak has been growing—invisible, silent, deadly. You walked through
103 | 9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal for Him and Her
The discovery of sexual betrayal in your marriage can feel like a punch in the gut, leaving you reeling and unsure of what to do next.
As a betrayed wife, you are experiencing trauma. As a husband who has been found unfaithful, you are probably scared and trying to fix what you’ve broken. Neither one of you are sure what the future will look like.
But if you are listening to our podcast, you’r
102 | When ‘I Love You’ Has Lost Its Meaning After Betrayal: Try This Instead
In this raw and emotional episode, we dive into the painful reality of how the phrase “I love you” can feel hollow and even triggering after sexual betrayal in marriage.
When those same words were whispered to someone outside the covenant, they lose their sacred weight—leaving the betrayed spouse questioning their truth. We explore the agony of speaking (or hearing) “I love you” when trust has b
101 | Building True Intimacy After Sexual Betrayal, with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith
Today we are so excited to dive into a conversation on the destructive impact of marital infidelity and the journey of healing and restoration with our special guests Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith.
Matthew and Joanna will share their deeply personal experience with sexual betrayal in their marriage and how they overcame this devastation to experience a marriage they never dreamed possible. Now,
100 | Getting Real Help for Your Marriage: 10 Obstacles to Counseling and Coaching
In our 100th episode of the Beyond Broken Vows podcast, we’re throwing a little celebration for the incredible journey of our podcast and the amazing work that God has done through it.
Join us as we share our personal experiences navigating the tricky waters of pornography and infidelity in our marriage. We’ll dive into the real challenges couples often face when reaching out for help.
Togethe
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