Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive
Your Parenting Mojo is a podcast that explores academic research on parenting and child development. Host Jen Lumanlan interviews researchers and analyzes peer-reviewed studies to provide practical, evidence-based strategies for parents. The show covers topics like reducing conflict, building connection, and understanding child development. Jen is also the author of the book 'Parenting Beyond Power'.
Episodes
Episode Summary 10: Burnout vs Depression: The Mental Load of Mothers
Many mothers go to the doctor because they feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and they aren’t sleeping - and leave with a depression diagnosis and a prescription. The message is: your brain isn't working right, and medication will help you cope.
But what if the problem isn't your brain at all? In this episode, I talk with journalist Bob Whitaker, who has spent decades investigating psychiatric
266: If ADHD Medication Doesn’t Help Kids Learn, What Does?
If you listened to our first episode on ADHD, you already know that the story most parents get about the diagnosis has some significant gaps - in the diagnostic criteria, in the research funding, and in the case for lifelong stimulant medication. This episode goes deeper on the topic of medication for kids.
Most parents medicating their child with ADHD in the U.S. are doing it because the
265: Einstein Never Used Flash Cards: How Kids Learn Best
Most parents have heard that play is how children learn. But in a world full of educational toys (even for babies, preschoolers, and kindergarteners!), enrichment classes, structured activities, and apps designed to make babies smarter, making time for play is harder than it sounds. The pressure to get kids ahead earlier keeps building - and the research that's supposed to reassure us often gets b
264: Who Really Decided Your Child Needs ADHD Medication?
If your child has been diagnosed with ADHD, stimulant medication is probably the first thing their doctor mentioned. And if you're trying to figure out whether it's the right choice for your family, you deserve more than a pamphlet published by a drug company. You deserve the full picture - including what the research really shows, who funded it, and the questions the medical model of ADHD hasn't
263: What’s Really Behind Your Child’s End-of-Day Meltdowns
If your child holds it together all day at preschool or daycare and then completely unravels the moment they get home - melting down over dinner, refusing to use the potty, making every transition a battle - you're watching afterschool restraint collapse in action. It's exhausting. And it can bring up some painful feelings for parents too, including wondering whether your presence is making things
262: How Limits Show Up in Your Child’s Body
If your morning routine for preschool looks less like a smooth routine and more like 21 rounds of "no", "stop", and "not like that" before 8 am, then things aren’t working well for either of you.
In this episode, we walk through one ordinary preschool morning minute by minute, from the cereal bowl to the car seat buckle.
We also learn how to move from: "how do I get my child to c
261: Why Your Kids Fight (It’s Not What You Think)
If your kids are fighting constantly, you're probably exhausted from playing referee. Maybe they're arguing over whose toy is whose, poking and teasing each other until someone cries, or telling you two completely different stories about what happened. And when you step in to help, nothing seems to work.
In this free Beyond the Behavior group coaching call, parent Stacey’s 12-year-old and
260: How the World’s Toxic Systems Live Inside Our Parenting
If you've been watching the news and feeling despair because you can’t do anything about it, this episode is for you.
The Epstein files, revealing how powerful men think about, talk about, and treat women.
ICE raids tearing families apart.
Strikes on Iranian cities - and schools full of children!
In this episode, I make a direct connection between these social issues and what happens inside ou
Episode Summary 09: Is Your Child’s Diagnosis Reliable? The DSM Explained
When a doctor hands your child a diagnosis, it can be a relief - finally, an explanation for their behavior! But sociologist Dr. Allan Horwitz has spent decades studying how psychiatric diagnoses are made, and what he's found raises serious questions about how much weight that label should carry.
In this episode, Dr. Horwitz walks through how the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) - the manu
259: Understanding Why Your Child Hits (And What Actually Helps)
When your three-year-old hits you, their sibling, or another child, it's easy to feel frustrated, embarrassed, or even angry. You might wonder if this challenging behavior means something is wrong with your child or your parenting.
In this episode, I help you see hitting in a completely different way. Instead of viewing it as a problem to eliminate, we'll explore what your child is tryin
RE-RELEASE: Parental Burnout: Is Your Exhaustion Affecting Your Children?
Are you exhausted in a way that sleep doesn't fix? Do you find yourself more irritable with your children than you ever imagined possible? You might be experiencing parental burnout and you're far from alone.
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Moïra Mikolajczak, one of the world's leading researchers on parental burnout, along with listener Kelly, who shares her raw, honest experience o
Episode Summary 08: What Is Collaborative Parenting? Real Parent Story
When you started parenting, you probably had ideas about the kind of parent you wanted to be. Maybe you imagined patient bedtimes and peaceful mornings. Then reality hit, and you found yourself doing things you swore you'd never do.
Parent Maile Grace knows this feeling well. In this conversation, she shares how her parenting values have shifted since her daughter was born. She talks abou
Episode Summary 07: Is Your Child’s Behavior Really a Disorder? A Psychiatrist Explains
When your child struggles with behavior or attention, doctors might suggest ADHD medication. Before you move forward, you should know what a psychiatric diagnosis actually is - and what it isn't. This episode examines how psychiatric diagnoses actually work - and what they don't tell you. Dr. Sami Timimi, a child and adolescent psychiatrist in the UK, explains how the mental health system has beco
258: YPM 2025 Year in Review + What’s Coming in 2026
Welcome to 2026! In this episode, we're looking back at what we covered in 2025 and sharing what's coming in the year ahead.
A Year of Growth
2025 was a year of evolution for the podcast. We covered topics you've been asking about - parenting triggers, rage, overwhelm, boundaries, and breaking family trauma cycles. We also did a deep dive across four episodes into Dr. Jonathan Haidt’s book The Anx
Episode Summary 06: When Holiday Gift Boundaries Don’t Work (What Does?)
Have you ever opened a gift from your parent and felt your stomach drop? You've tried everything - wishlists, clear conversations, explicit boundaries about gift giving. But the packages keep arriving, filled with things that feel totally opposite from your values.
And then you're stuck in this awful place where you're simultaneously angry at them for not respecting your boundaries AND j
Episode Summary 05: How to Enforce Boundaries When Someone Doesn’t Respect Them
You've told your parents you're not available during work hours. They keep calling anyway. You've asked them not to comment on your weight. They bring it up again on the next visit. You've said no to those random Amazon gifts. Another package arrives at your door. Many parents know how to set boundaries, but get stuck when someone won't respect them. In this summary episode, therapist Nedra Glover
257: I Don’t Enjoy Playing With My Kid: Why It Happens & What To Do
Do you ever wake up with tension in your body because you know your child will want to play the moment you walk out of your bedroom?
Do you spend time with your child but think about all the chores you should be doing instead?
Parent Aija came to a (FREE!) Beyond The Behavior coaching call with exactly this challenge. She plays with her four-and-a-half-year-old son a lot. But she
256: Managing Anger as a Parent: The Two Types of Anger You Need to Know
Are you tired of feeling guilty every time you get angry as a parent? What if your anger actually contains valuable information about what needs to change in your family systems?
Most parental anger management approaches treat all anger the same way - as a problem that requires control. But research shows there are actually two distinct types of parental anger, and understanding this diff
255: Why Do I Keep Snapping? Parenting Rage When Your Childhood ‘Wasn’t That Bad
Do you find yourself going from zero to a hundred in seconds when your child spills something, refuses to cooperate, or has a meltdown? If you're constantly asking yourself, "Why do I keep snapping at my child?" or "Why am I so angry as a parent?" - you're definitely not alone. Many parents struggle with parenting triggers that seem to come out of nowhere, leaving them wondering how such small inc
Episode Summary 04: Reparenting Yourself: Break Your Family’s Trauma Cycle
Every parent knows that harsh inner voice that whispers "You're a terrible parent" when you lose your patience, or "You've ruined your kids forever" after a difficult moment. This episode reveals a simple "magic trick" that can instantly create space between you and those critical thoughts - and it's something anyone can learn.
Discover how one powerful phrase can transform your reactions
Episode Summary 03: How to Stop Yelling as a Parent: Emotional Regulation Techniques That Work
Does your child's behavior sometimes trigger such an instant, overwhelming reaction that you find yourself yelling before you even realize what happened?
That moment when your jaw clenches, your shoulders tense, and suddenly you're saying things you wish you could take back? You're experiencing what millions of parents face daily - a nervous system response that happens faster than consci
254: What is FAFO Parenting? The 9 Most Important Things Parents Should Know
If you've been scrolling TikTok or parenting forums lately, you've probably encountered FAFO parenting - the trending approach that's being positioned as the antidote to ‘overly permissive’ gentle parenting. Standing for ‘F*** Around and Find Out,’ this parenting style centers on letting children experience harsh consequences without parental intervention, even when parents could easily prevent th
253: How to Do Homeschooling: A Former Teacher Explores Unschooling
Ever wondered about alternative paths to educate your child outside the traditional school system? My guest today is Laura Moore, who spent 15 years in early childhood education - and who is now exploring homeschooling alternatives, including unschooling, for her own child.
As a teacher and mother of a 3.5-year-old, Laura brings a unique insider perspective to the education debate. She op
252: From ‘Be the Best’ Anxiety to Trusting Your Child’s Natural Learning
When Sara's four-year-old son started asking permission to use art supplies he'd always freely accessed before, she knew something had shifted. After a year in a (loving, high-quality!) preschool, her previously autonomous child was suddenly seeking approval for things that had never required it. Sara had never required this at home, and in fact it worried her because it didn't fit with her values
251: Why Your 8-12 Year Old Should Start a Business (And How to Support Them Without Taking Over!)
What if the most powerful gift you could give your child isn't a college fund, but the skills to create their own income at age 10? When my daughter Carys started pet sitting, she didn't just earn money (although she does now have $759 in a retirement savings account that could become over $100,000 by the time she needs it).
She’s also developing initiative, follow-through, boundary setting
Episode Summary 02: The Anxious Generation: What Parents Need to Know
Are you worried that social media is destroying your teen's mental health? You're not alone. Jonathan Haidt's bestselling book The Anxious Generation has parents everywhere wondering if smartphones are rewiring their kids' brains and creating a mental health crisis. But before you rush to ban your teen's phone, you need to hear what the research actually shows.
This summary episode brings
250: The Anxious Generation Review (Part 4): Should we ban cell phones at home?
In Part 1, we looked at the evidence for the teen 'mental health crisis.'
In Part 2, we reviewed the evidence for whether social media is causing the so-called 'teen mental health crisis.
In Part 3, we began looking at what to do about the effects of phones on kids - starting with school cell phone bans.
If you've read The Anxious Generation or heard about Dr. Jean Tweng
249: The Anxious Generation Review (Part 3): Should we ban cell phones in school?
This is the third in our series of episodes on Jonathan Haidt's book The Anxious Generation.
In Part 1, we looked at the evidence for the teen 'mental health crisis.'
In Part 2, we reviewed the evidence for whether social media is causing the so-called 'teen mental health crisis.
In this episode, we begin looking at what to do about the effects of phones on kids - starti
248: The Anxious Generation Review (Part 2): Does Social Media Actually Cause Kids’ Depression and Anxiety?
In Part 1 of this mini-series looking at Jonathan Haidt's book The Anxious Generation, we discovered that the teen mental health crisis might not be as dramatic as The Anxious Generation claims - and that changes in diagnosis and coding could be inflating the numbers. But even if we accept that teens' struggles have increased somewhat, the next crucial question is: what's actually causing the chan
247: The Anxious Generation Review (Part 1): Is There Really a Mental Health Crisis in the U.S.?
Are we really facing an unprecedented mental health crisis in America, or have we been misreading the data? As parents everywhere grapple with The Anxious Generation's claims that smartphones are rewiring our children's brains, this episode takes a closer look at what the research actually shows about youth mental health trends.
If you've read the book, you've seen those alarming hockey-s
246: My Parenting Feels Off Track: Reparenting Helps You Find Your Way Back
Do you ever feel like your parenting is completely off track from where you want it to be? You promise yourself you won't yell, then find yourself yelling at your kids before breakfast.
You intend to be patient and present, but end up getting distracted by your phone, or snapping at your child. This disconnect between your parenting intentions and reality can leave you feeling guilty, ash
RE-RELEASE: Finding Your Parenting Village: How Community Support Changes Everything at Home
Are you tired of facing family challenges alone? In this powerful episode, we witness the transformative journey of two parents who discovered that joining a parenting support group can change everything at home.
Parenting wasn't meant to be a solo journey. When sleep deprivation, communication struggles with partners, and children's big emotions become overwhelming family challenges, the
245: Does praise help or hurt your child? What research actually shows
Most parents believe praise is an essential tool for raising confident, well-behaved children. We've been told to "catch them being good" and "focus on the positive." But what if our well-intentioned praise is actually functioning as a subtle form of control? What if praise isn't just celebrating who our children are, but secretly shaping them into who we—or society—want them to become? 
RE-RELEASE: How to get your child to listen to you
Is your child's refusal to listen driving you CRAZY? You're not alone! In this transformative episode, mom-of-three Chrystal reveals how she went from constant power struggles to peaceful cooperation without sacrificing authority. Discover the exact approach that works when "because I said so" fails. Stop the exhausting battles TODAY and create the respectful relationship you've always wanted with
244: Gentle parenting doesn’t have to mean permissive parenting
Is gentle parenting just permissive parenting in disguise? This episode reveals a powerful framework for meeting both your needs and your child's, creating cooperation without sacrificing connection.
Is gentle parenting the same as permissive parenting?
No, gentle parenting is not the same as permissive parenting. Gentle parenting focuses on meeting both the child's and the parent's need
243: Parent Conflict Over Discipline: How to Get on the Same Page
"How can we get on the same page about discipline?" is one of the most common questions parents face. Before having kids, most couples never realize how different family backgrounds, experiences, and parenting beliefs will collide into seemingly unbridgeable differences. This episode explores practical tools to navigate these differences, from de-escalating tense moments to having producti
242: The secret to having feedback conversations your family will actually hear
Have you ever shared an observation with your partner or child, only to watch them immediately become defensive or shut down? You meant well, but somehow your words landed as criticism instead of the helpful insight you intended.
In this episode, we explore The Feedback Process framework with Joellen Killion, examining how we can transform our family communications. When we participate in
240: How to prepare your kids for the real world
In this episode, we explore how to prepare children for the real world without sacrificing their authentic selves. Drawing on research about food habits, screen time, social expectations, and discipline approaches, this discussion offers balanced strategies that prioritize connection over control. You'll learn how to guide children through external pressures while helping them develop critic
239: First year for your newborn baby: The 7 ideas that really matter
What truly matters in a baby’s first year? This episode explores the top seven things parents should focus on, helping you set priorities with confidence.
Questions this episode will answer
How much influence do parents really have on their child’s development?What parenting practices actually make a long-term difference?Should you be worried about hitting developmental milestones on ti
238: Feeling exhausted and overwhelmed? Tools to help you cope
Feeling Overwhelmed by Parenting Stress? You’re Not Alone.
If you’re exhausted, stretched too thin, and struggling with the stress of parenting, you’re not the only one. Many parents—especially mothers—find themselves running on empty, constantly trying to meet everyone’s needs while their own go unnoticed. Parenting stress can leave you feeling frustrated, drained, and even angry at your kids, w
237: 8 reasons your child won’t tell you what’s wrong – and how to help
Struggling to get your child to open up? Discover 8 key reasons kids resist sharing their feelings—and actionable strategies to create real connection.
Why Your Child Won’t Open Up—and What You Can Do
As parents, we deeply want to support our children, but when we ask, “What’s wrong?” and get silence or resistance in return, it can feel frustrating and confusing. Why won’t they just tell
236: How to heal the anger in your relationship with your spouse
How to heal the anger in your relationship with your spouse
Parent Laurie was doing really well when she had two kids. She had been with her partner for a long time, she had just achieved her first managerial role at work, and things were going great - so they thought it would be a good time to add a third child.
Then: Pandemic. Two kids under three. The oldest child started school and ha
235: Children’s threats: What they mean and how to respond
Children’s threats: What they mean and how to respond
"If you don't give me a lollipop, I won't be your friend anymore.”
Said to a sibling: “If you don’t come and sit down, I'll take your toy.” “If you don't give me candy before dinner, I'll hit you.”
Has your child made threats like this (or worse ones) when things don't go their way?
Whether it’s yelling, “I’ll never
234: The problem with Time Outs: Why they fail, and what to do Instead
The Problem with Time Outs: Why They Fail, and What to Do Instead
Recently, in Part 1 of this two-part mini-series, we began looking at a question from listener Melissa: "Can time-outs ever have a place in a respectful parenting approach? (And if not, what else am I supposed to do when my kid looks me in the eye and does something he knows he’s not supposed to do?)" That episode looked at the aca
233: Time Outs: Helpful or harmful? Here’s what the research says
Time Outs: Helpful or harmful? Here’s what the research says
Pediatricians and researchers commonly recommend that parents use time outs when kids misbehave. Time outs are promoted as an effective, evidence-based parenting strategy - although the real reason they’re so highly recommended is that they cause less damage to children than hitting.But if we’re already using respectful/gentle parenting
232: 10 game-changing parenting hacks – straight from master dog trainers
What Dog Trainers Know That You Don’t!
Ever felt stuck figuring out how to respond to your child’s challenging behavior? What if the key lies in techniques used by master dog trainers?
In this episode, we explore how strategies designed to nurture trust and communication with dogs can revolutionize the way we parent. From co-regulation to building a culture of consent, you’ll learn actionable ste
231: How to support baby’s development after a Wonder Week
Expert strategies for baby's growth and development beyond Wonder Weeks
In Part 2 of our Wonder Weeks series, we’re exploring how to support your baby’s development once a Wonder Week has passed. Is there a predictable schedule to follow, or is your baby’s crying tied to something unique?
In this episode, we’ll dive into:
✨ What research says about crying and developmental stages.
230: Do all babies have Wonder Weeks? Here’s what the research says
The Science of Why Babies Cry More and What Parents Need to Know
You may have noticed that your baby sometimes seems calm and relaxed…and then goes through a ‘fussy’ phase, where they seem to cry no matter what you do. Do these fussy phases happen on a predictable schedule? Is it predictable for all babies…and for all parents?
In this episode, we dive into the research behind the theory
229: Raising kids in divisive times: Where do we go after the 2024 election?
How to Raise Kids and Live Our Values in Divisive Times
Chances are, if you're thinking of listening to this podcast episode, the 2024 election didn't go the way you hoped it would.
A lot of people are feeling scared right now. I've heard some people wanting to fight, while others want to hunker down. I've had both of those feelings myself over the last few weeks.
I don't
228: Parenting Through Menopause – Discover Your Wise Power!
Learn How To Navigate Menopause While Raising KidsToday, we’re diving into a topic that many parents may face but rarely talk about openly: navigating menopause while raising young kids. If you’ve been wondering how to balance parenting with the changes menopause brings, this episode is for you.In our first interview on Menstrual Cycle Awareness, we explored how menstruation impacts our lives. Tod
227: Where emotions come from (and why it matters) Part 2
Understanding Emotions: Insights from Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett
In our last conversation with Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett [Where emotions come from (and why it matters) Part 1] a couple of weeks ago we looked at her theory of where emotions originate. This has important implications for things like:
How our 'body budgets' affect our feelingsHow we make meaning from our feelings so our internal
226: Where emotions come from (and why it matters) Part 1
Understanding Emotions: Insights from Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett
Have you ever wondered where our emotions come from?
Do you think that if you look at a person’s face, you can have a pretty good idea of how they’re feeling?
But at the same time, do your child’s feelings seem mysterious to you, like you can’t figure them out?
Listener Akiko introduced me to Dr. Lisa Feldman
225: How to stop shaming your child
Learn ways how to overcome parenting triggers
I know it can be really (really) difficult to bridge the gap between being the kind of parent we want to be, and the kind of parent we're able to be in the moments when our kids do things we find difficult.
We might know that we want our kids to receive a message of unconditional love and acceptance, but when they do something like hitting the
224: How to heal your Mom Rage
Understanding & Overcoming Mom Rage
There are several books available on mom rage by now. They tend to follow a predictable formula: a journalist interviews a bunch of parents and makes sweeping pronouncements about how anger-inducing it is to be a Mom, interspersed with anecdotes about terrible things they’ve said and done to their children.
They usually end with a call for free chi
Q&A#6: Am I damaging my child?
Today's episode comes from listener who submitted an emotional voicemail on the Ask Jen a Question button on the Your Parenting Mojo homepage, which boils down to:
Am I damaging my child?
The messages you can leave are limited to two minutes in length, so we get just a taste of what the parent is struggling with: a difficult relationship with their neurodivergent son, because he triggers
223: What, Why, and How to Parent Beyond Power
What to Do When Parenting Tools Don’t Work?
I know that when you start using new parenting tools, things don't always go according to plan. Your kids don't say what you think they will, or maybe you perceive that their behavior is just kind of crappy, or maybe your partner isn't on board with your ideas.
In this episode I address what to do about all of these challenges, as well as how to use
222: How to cultivate Menstrual Cycle Awareness with The Red School
Understanding Menstrual Cycle Awareness
This episode was...unplanned. :-) A couple of months ago I interviewed Dr. Louise Newson on the topic of menopause. Dr. Newson is a medical doctor and focused very heavily on Hormone Replacement Therapy as a treatment that everyone who menstruates should at least consider, and I knew I wanted to do an episode with someone who doesn't hold that belief as well
221: How to advocate for the schools our children deserve with Allyson Criner Brown & Cassie Gardener Manjikian
How to advocate for the schools our children deserve
How comfortable do you feel speaking up about something your child’s school needs?
Have you noticed that some parents seem to feel more comfortable speaking up than others?
Have you ever noticed that sometimes rules and policies in school don’t seem to be applied evenly to all students, while squeaky wheels who raise issues tha
220: Nutritious movement for your child – and you!
Why Movement Matters More Than Exercise for Kids
A few months ago my daughter had a routine checkup at the doctor, who asked how much screen time she gets in a day (which is more than typical recommendations but way less time than children spend sitting in school).
The doctor told her (but really she told me): “You should get more exercise.”
Carys isn’t a team sports kind of pers
219: The skills your child will need in the age of AI
What your child is learning in school isn’t enough
The things your child is learning in school are not the things that are most likely to lead to their success in the future.
Who could have predicted the shifts we’ve seen since Chat GPT-3 was released to the public in November 2022?
While AI still has its bugs, it won’t be long before these bugs are squashed.
We’re going
Episode Summary 01: Building a better relationship with screen time
Thanks to those of you who completed the recent survey on how I can serve you better, some changes are coming to the YPM world! While most respondents said they loved the length of the episodes because they appreciate how much detail we can get into in that time, a number of people said they had trouble finding the time to listen to longer episodes, as well as share them with others.
Our
218: What children learn from video games
How Video Games Shape Learning and Children’s Development
Last week, parent Nicole and I talked with @TheGamerEducator Ash Brandin about the challenges we can have when our kids love video games.
I had also hoped to ask Ash a lot of questions about what children learn from video games but we completely ran out of time, so I spent a fun day reading 10 books on the topic at the University o
217: How to end the video game struggles
Why Video Games Aren't as Harmful as You Think for Kids
Video games can be tough.
Our kids enjoy them so much…but can’t tear their eyes away from them when time’s up without a meltdown.
Some games, like Fortnite and Roblox, can be really violent, and aren’t our kids learning bad messages when they play?
Plus even if they aren’t playing something violent, they aren’t real
216: Am I in Perimenopause? with Dr. Louise Newson
How do I know if I'm perimenopausal?
A few months ago a member in the Parenting Membership shared a whole bunch of symptoms she'd had, from fatigue to rage to dry eyes. She'd been on a four year journey to figure out what was going on before finding out that she was in perimenopause, and wanted to save other members from the same experience she'd had.
That sparked a huge discussion in the
215: Why will no-one play with me?
Discover insights on why no one will play with your child and explore effective strategies for building social skills in children
Does your child have big emotional blow-ups in social situations?
Are they a wallflower who doesn't know how to make friends?
Do they struggle to understand when it's appropriate to interrupt, tell the truth, and follow the rules vs. let things go.
&n
214: Ask Alvin Anything: Part 2
Exploring Marriage, Autism, Race, and Parenting Together
Want to know how my autism self-diagnosis has affected my relationship with my husband? (I will apologize to autistic listeners here as an ableist perspective is still something we're working on, and he also uses some outdated terminology probably from an old book he's started twice - but not yet finished - on supporting partners with Asperg
213: How to stop using power over your child (and still get things done)
Ditch Punishments and Rewards for Respectful Parenting
Do you hate punishing (with Time Outs, withdrawing privileges, or even yelling at) your child?
Do you feel guilty after you punish them, wishing there was a way to just get them to listen?
And do bribes ("If you brush your teeth now, you can have 5 minutes of screen time...") feel just as awful?
But what other choice
212: How to make the sustainable change you want to see in your family
Sustainable Family Change: Parenting Framework for Lasting Results
Here's a little thought exercise: think back to what you were doing this time last year, right around Mother's Day (in the U.S...I know it has already passed in other places!).
What kinds of things were your children doing that were really endearing?
What kinds of things were they doing that drove you up the wall?
211: How to raise a child who doesn’t experience shame
Are there parts of yourself that you don't share with other people?
Things that you think: "If people knew that about me, they wouldn't love me / they'd think I'm a terrible person / they wouldn't even want to be around me"?
When you mess up, does it seem like it's not that you did a silly/bad thing, but that you are a stupid/bad person?
If your answer to any of these qu
210: The power of learning in community
Do you have a core group of parent friends who are always there for you? Friends who might not be 100% aligned with your parenting philosophy, but they're close enough that you know that when they do offer suggestions you would at least consider doing them?
And on the days when you just want to just vent and not hear any advice at all, you know that it'll be totally fine for you to vent.
209: How to get on the same page as your parenting partner
Do you ever fight with your partner?
Do you ever fight with your partner about parenting?
(Pretty much all of the couples I work with do both of those things.)
And these arguments tend to follow a pretty well-defined formula:
Child misbehaves.Parent A gets overwhelmed,criticizesthe child and snaps at Partner B for not doing more to help.Parent B and says that clearly Par
208: Three reasons why setting limits is hard (and what to do about each of them)
Do you ever wish that you know the appropriate logical consequence to give your child (aged 1-10) for each different kind of misbehavior you see?
When your toddler empties the water out of the dog's bowl for the 10th time today...When your preschooler climbs on the table three minutes after you told them to get off it...When your kindergartener refuses to come to the table for dinner (and
207: How to not be a permissive parent
Sometimes when listeners write to me, fun things happen! 🤪
Listener Diana replied to a recent email because she had listened to quite a lot of my episodes (although more of the earlier ones than the recent ones) and she was generally on board with my approach.
But she was having a hard time! Despite doing a lot of things for her children, and trying to remain calm and 'un
206: How to find yourself as a parent
It can be really hard to see what's happening in our struggles with our children. They refuse to go to bed at bedtime; we're at home alone all day with a baby who doesn't like being put down, and our older child who is now being aggressive, and there's no time for us to even take a shower, and maybe it seems like everyone around us is judging our parenting choices.
In this very different
205: How patriarchy hurts us…all of us
I have to admit, I’m a bit scared to say it…
The P-word…
“Patriarchy.”(Phew! I did it!)I know some listeners find it hard to hear.
I’ve spoken with more than one woman who has told me: “I sent your podcast to my husband but then he heard the word “Patriarchy” and it was all over.
There’s some sadness there for me, for sure.
Every time I talk about patriarchy I talk about how much it hurts me
204: How to create more time by taking care of yourself
Sara has always tried really hard to not just be a good parent, but a really good parent. The best parent. (When I coached her and her partner recently to create some content for the Parenting Membership that you'll hear more about in a few weeks, her partner said to her: You hold everyone else to a high standard. You hold yourself to a higher standard.)
Sara put a lot of pressure on hers
203: How to move toward anti-racism with Kerry Cavers
Last year I hosted a panel event in Vancouver where four people who have been active in helping us to navigate toward an anti-racist, post-patriarchal, post-capitalist future came together to share their ideas in front of a live audience.
It was a beautiful event (eventually we'll process the video of it to share with you!), and I really hit it off with Moms Against Racism Canada founder
Q&A#5: What really matters in parenting? Part 1
Listener Roberta submitted a question recently on YourParentingMojo.com/question:
What does the research say are the decisions that really matter in parenting?
That question immediately got my brain churning about what could be included, and how we would decide what to include, and how much of what's included could actually be research-based.
The episode begins with a lo
202: How to Heal from Adverse Childhood Experiences with Dr. Nadine Burke Harris and Jackie Thu-Huong Wong
My mom died when I was 10, and for a while people in our small village would look at my sister and me as if we were 'special' in some weird way. By the time I was a young adult that was just one of a stew of difficult experiences I'd had, and I also realized: my stuff is not special.
By that age, most people are carrying around some kind of trauma.
But so what? Does it matter? If
201: How to create a culture of consent in our families
When Carys was about three, I forced a dropper of antibiotics into her mouth to just get her to take it, so she would start to feel better. We were both tired and hangry and I didn't see another path forward, when she was refusing something that I knew would help her. What other choice did I have?
My husband did see another path when he arrived home later that evening, and before she went
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