The Dr. Psych Mom Show with clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten
Clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten offers no-nonsense advice on relationships, sex, family, and parenting. She challenges common assumptions, arguing that couples should not overfocus on children, that physical touch is the most important love language, and that marital problems stem from both partners. The show also promotes her therapy and coaching services.
Episodes
When You Think Your Partner Is The Problem
If you think your partner is the main problem in your relationship and your main problem is you're frustrated by how objectively bad/avoidant/irritating they are... listen up!My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS: https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/postsTo get over 230 more episodes, most recently "
When You're Scared About Retirement
Many people, especially "producers" and those who feel deeply aligned with their careers, fear retirement. Here's a new way to think about this stage of life and what I've seen to help many clients!My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS: https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/postsTo get over 230
What I Think About Lindsay Clancy
The heartbreaking Lindsay Clancy murder case is all over the news, if you don't know about it, can read this: What We Know About Lindsay Clancy’s Trial for the Deaths of Her Children - The New York TimesHere's what I think as a psychologist and mom of three. Also, if you or someone you know needs support, free and confidential help is available right now. You can call the National Maternal
You'll Be Disappointing People For Your Whole Life
When my son recently had to say no to a school activity in favor of other activities, he was worried about disappointing the person in charge. I said this line to him and it came out funny, but it is 100% true for all humans. It is useful to think about this as a fact of life, and something you need to come to terms with in order to lead an authentic and meaningful life!My newest venture, includin
You Can't Change People, And They Hate You Trying
So many people think the solution to all their marital problems is to change their partner. After all, they think, shouldn't my partner WANT to improve? Yet somehow, no matter what incremental progress your partner makes toward your goals, whether that's more sex, more conversations, or anything else, nothing will fall into place until you accept them for who they are, or decide that you c
When You Micromanage Your Partner, Your Anxiety Never Goes Away
By micromanaging your partner's behavior, whether in the home, with the kids, or in other arenas, you are never giving yourself a chance to do "exposure therapy" for the anxiety that their way of living will cause irreparable harm. It won't! All this and more.Join our men's coaching group! email info@bestlifebehavioralhealth.com to sign up and learn more: https://ww
Do You Overfunction With Your Kids And Partner Because You Can't Tolerate Their Negative Emotions?
You may think you have a lot of frustration tolerance and grit, but you may not be considering your inability to tolerate your partner or child struggling, even in small ways. When you overfunction to prevent them from ever experiencing frustration or irritation, you are stopping them from learning how to handle life activities and the negative emotions that you can't control!Join our men'
Benefits Of An Avoidant Partner!
Today we talk about the real world benefits of being with an avoidant partner, and yes, they exist!Join our men's coaching group! email info@bestlifebehavioralhealth.com to sign up and learn more: https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/mens-coaching-groupMy newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS: https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/posts
Is It A Sex Issue Or An Adulting Issue?
Some men think their issue with their marriage is a libido disparity, but the reality is that it is much deeper. Women who are scared of "adulting" and shy away from an adult role tend to also not want much sex. The major issue in these marriages is that the man takes over everything or almost everything in the home and tells himself that this would be ok if there was more sex, but there
You're Allowed To Give Your Kids Advice
In this child centered world, parents struggle with giving advice to their kids. Why, and what sorts of things do I hear from adult clients about parents who never proffered advice?Join our men's coaching group! email info@bestlifebehavioralhealth.com to sign up and learn more: https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/mens-coaching-groupMy newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POS
"It Doesn't Matter What You Want".... The Philosophy That Can Transform Your Life
If you focus on what you want, you risk a constricted and anxiety-driven life. Instead, try this new way of framing your life decisions!Join our men's coaching group! email info@bestlifebehavioralhealth.com to sign up and learn more: https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/mens-coaching-groupMy newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY: h
When You're Wealthy, You Change From A Wild Animal To A Pet
Why? Because you are no longer hungry in any sense. You thus turn to meeting your needs for pleasure and comfort, becoming your own pet. But if you are a wild animal at heart, this transition is anything but easy. Join our men's coaching group! email info@bestlifebehavioralhealth.com to sign up and learn more: https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/mens-coaching-groupMy newest ventu
5 Questions To Ask Yourself To Be A Better Partner
In this episode, I cover five questions that you can ask yourself in order to introspect deeply about what kind of partner you are, and how you may have unintentionally contributed to your current relationship issues. Each of them makes you really look inward, and think about what you may have been glossing over for years, your own weaknesses as a partner, and how they may have led you to whateve
Rewatching/Rereading Shows/Books You Used To Love Can Be A FREE Catalyst of Growth!
This is something I love to do. It can be a fascinating way to explore your own psyche and to bond with your spouse as well. And it's free and easy! All in today's episode.Join our men's coaching group! email info@bestlifebehavioralhealth.com to sign up and learn more: https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/mens-coaching-groupMy newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY:
Special Guest Lenore Skenazy of Free Range Kids And Let Grow on Our Culture Of Anxious Parenting!
Welcome to this amazing episode with Lenore Skenazy, the wonderful author of a book I loved as a younger mom, Free Range Kids, and the President of Let Grow! One of my favorite topics is the anxious culture of overparenting, and we dive into how this impacts kids and ways to change and give our kids healthy levels of independence and freedom!Let Grow: https://letgrow.orgLenore on Instagram: @lenor
The Professional Victim
Do you recognize yourself, your partner, or your parents/inlaws in this? Here is the person who acts like they are the scrappy underdog in all interactions, from going to the grocery store to cooking dinner for their family. Why are people like this, how can you interact with them more successfully, and how can you understand yourself better and improve in this dimension if this hits uncomfortably
Should You Discuss Negative Life Events In Your History With Your Kids?
There's a lot of nuance to the topic of whether you should tell your kids about negative things from your past, including poverty, abuse, parents' mental health issues, or more. How can you navigate the balance between authenticity and care with your children during these topics, and how does your approach change over time?Join our men's coaching group! email info@bestlifebehavioralhea
Histrionic Personality Disorder... When You Live For Drama And Attention
A personality disorder that many have never heard of! Here's what HPD entails. Does this sound like anyone in your life?is uncomfortable in situations in which they are not the center of attentioninteraction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behaviordisplays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotionsconsistently uses physical appearance
Male Loneliness Epidemic?
Here's what I think about why men are lonely, including some thoughts about society now vs a generation ago, as well as some practical strategies to increase your circle. IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN THE MEN'S GROUP, it starts June 23. Email us at info@bestlifebehavioralhealth.com to sign up or learn more here: https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/mens-coaching-groupMy newest venture, i
Some People Are Lazy And That's Okay
I always discuss how if you're depressed or have ADHD, you may get less done than other people, and it doesn't mean you're lazy. But you know what, some people are truly lazy! And that is OKAY.... except if you're a super productive person married to one. Here's how to understand what "laziness" really is and how to think about it in a more objective way.My newest ven
Pursuer-Distancer Dynamics
Both partners in this dynamic suffer and end up with lower self esteem, even though we usually think the preoccupied attachment/pursuer partner suffers more. How does this dynamic impact both partners negatively?My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY: https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/postsJoin my awesome Midlife Women's Group
The Self-Made Woman
I've discussed the self-made man before, as this is a common type that I get as a therapy or coaching client. This is about the self-made women! Some differences and some similarities. And how does this woman behave in intimate relationships?Resources I promised:Etched in Sand: https://amzn.to/4e03f5CWall St Journal article: https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/careers/surprising-lessons-from-talking
When You Say Your Job Is More Important Because It Pays More
Common dynamic with men who say because they are the higher earner, everything should move around their schedule. Some of them even want their wives to quit their jobs because their priority is her to not be stressed... so that she can be a better companion to them, even if her job is meaningful to her. All about jobs and money and why earning more doesn't mean you're better, on today'
Women Who Like Romance Novels/Movies: The Two Types
Women escaping into romance novels or online relationship content is not healthy IF THEY ARE THE PURSUING PARTNER. This fake media raises expectations beyond what a man can provide in the natural universe, and increases the distance between what she wants and what he can give, just like porn does for men.But some women don't at all want more romance and are the avoidant partner, not the preocc
When Your Wife Is A Teacher
There are certain relationship dynamics that I have seen crop up when the wife is a teacher. This adds to my episode on relationship issues when the man is in IT, a lawyer, a doctor, or a CEO/entrepreneur. Listen up for common issues that I've observed in my many clients who are teachers!My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY: https://buymeacoffee.com/dr
Emotional Hangovers: Why Do You Feel So Terrible After An Argument?
What's an emotional hangover? I didn't make up this term but it resonates with many people who haven't understood why they feel so awful the day or even week after a fight. Today we learn all about what this is, who gets them more than others, and how to avoid them.My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY: https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/posts
High Achieving Men: The King Midas Problem
Wouldn't it be great to be married to someone who is good at everything? Well, my caseload is filled with high achieving men with marriage issues, so I guess it's not that simple. Today I discuss what's bound to be a classic episode... The King Midas Problem in marriage and in the bedroom!My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY: https://buymeacoffee.
Why Trying To Optimize Your Sex Life Doesn't Work
Why does optimizing your sex life never work, even though it works in other aspects of your life? A wake up call to the high achieving men who just can't make their wife do what they wish she would, despite how "it would be better for both of us."My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY: https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/postsJoin
When Your Wife Decides She "Doesn't Have Any More F's To Give"
This is a common phrase from women at midlife. "I don't have any more F's to give!" "I realized I don't give a flying F anymore" etc etc. What does this mean and how does it look different for preoccupied vs avoidant vs secure women?My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY: https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/postsJoin my awesome Midlife Women's Gr
Are You Interesting To Your Spouse?
Bad news: if you think you're not, you're probably picking up on something real. But you may be able to increase how interesting you are with these really practical tips and reframes!My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY: https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/postsJoin my awesome Midlife Women's Group here: dr
Producers Vs Consumers: My New Framework For Understanding Compatibility
Do you like to create in your spare time, which I call a PRODUCER, or do you like to enjoy what others have created, which I call a CONSUMER? Make music/food/crafts/projects/money? Or attend concerts, watch TV, listen to music? Today we discuss what happens when a producer marries a consumer, and when two of each marry one another!My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY:
Therapists and Money And Taxes With Michael Flax, My Very Own Accountant
Today we have the most special guest, Michael Flax, CPA of flaxcpa.com. This is my own accountant and he will field all of my questions which includes many things I have forgotten about my own tax situation, lol. Michael is an awesome accountant and I refer him to so many other therapists that I thought it would be useful to be able to point them to this podcast. We cover things like:- WTF is an S
What's Your Financial Attachment Style?
Today I discuss my new term "financial attachment style" and the analogues for avoidant and preoccupied attachment as it applies to how you spend money. Many of my clients struggle with hoarding money or overspending. Where do these styles emerge from and how do they function within relationships?My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY: https://buymeacoffee
Blaming Your Husband For Your Sex Life Is Misguided And In Many Cases, Anti-Feminist
There is some idea now that any woman with a loving husband wants sex. This could not be less true. Women may not want sex for all kinds of reasons that have zero to do with their husbands. They may be tired or stressed NO MATTER HOW MUCH HE DOES IN THE HOUSE (including 100% of the chores which I've seen many times), they may just have lower drives (remember there's a normal distribution of most e
Having Opposite Sex Siblings Really Helps Your Marriage
Having siblings of the opposite sex really helps your (heterosexual) marriage. Here's how men with sisters and women with brothers act differently and why people with opposite sex vs same sex siblings tend to pair up with each other! And how to learn about men/women if you didn't have opposite gender siblings!My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY: https://buy
Scheduling Sex Will Not Cure Your Sexless Marriage
Scheduling sex works for some people. Listen to this episode to find out who! Hint: it's not going to be the magic bullet that unilaterally makes your wife like sex or repairs your sexless marriage.My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY: https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/postsJoin my awesome Midlife Women's Group here: drpsychmo
"What's The Difference Between Selfish And Avoidant Partners?" Beats Me Man
A listener asked if I could do an episode on the distinction between avoidant and selfish partners, and that is a real logical puzzle. I can't really think of any! But don't worry, preoccupied attachment partners are selfish too. All this and more in today's episode!My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY: https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/postsJoin
Stefan Merrill Block: The Author of Homeschooled And A Kindred Spirit
As you know if you listened to my episode about Homeschooled, I found it to be a fascinating deep dive into an enmeshed relationship between the author and his homeschooling mom. Today I'm thrilled to have Stefan as a guest! He is wonderful, open, smart, and introspective. He is a kindred spirit and I identify a lot with many of the themes he brings up in his work, from my own childhood.Note:
Romantic Love Changes People
When you're in love, it changes you deeply. If you feel that love has NOT changed you and made you more empathic, warm, and generous... that's an issue.My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY: https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/postsJoin my awesome Midlife Women's Group here: drpsychmom.com/mwgTo get over 200 more episodes,
Sharing... The Opposite Of Being Self Centered
Sharing isn't just an important skill for kids to learn! Our society is becoming increasingly, dysfunctionally focused on the individual at the expense of the group/couple/relationship. If you and your partner struggle with eating the same food, watching the same show, or doing anything you don't each want to do for the sake of the other... listen up!!My newest venture, including ALL BRAND
Cheating Is An Addictive Behavior, Not A Relationship Behavior!
Cheating is categorized as "relationship behavior" but it's more about "lack of frustration tolerance." Cheating relates to addictive behaviors and to sensation seeking more than anything in the marriage. An exception is the "exit affair" in preoccupied attachment people. All in today's episode!My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY: https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/po
Adult Child Of Dysfunctional Family? Read Homeschooled By Stefan Merrill Block
This awesome book held my attention in a way that few do. It is a riveting discussion of Stefan's enmeshment with his mom that manifested in homeschooling which was very isolating but allowed his mother to remain in his babyhood forever. Spoilers after the first few minutes... I give you fair warning though. I'm going to have Stefan as a guest soon so listen and read the book before! It's here! ht
Stopping Drinking... One Free Way To Improve Your Marriage Immediately
You know what people don't regret? Stopping or cutting back on drinking. This is the number one thing that can improve your marriage, so stop acting like the fights you have when you're drunk are "just what you're actually thinking anyway"... that is what you are saying to justify doing what you know you shouldn't!My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY
Your Boyfriend Saying He Doesn't Know About Marriage = He Rejected Your Proposal
A completely new way to think about this for the preoccupied attachment woman!My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY: https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/postshttps://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/postsJoin my awesome Midlife Women's Group here: drpsychmom.com/mwgTo get over 200 more episodes, most recently "Sex At Midlife,"
Weaponized Incompetence? What Happened To Plain Old Incompetence
Worth the (free) price of listening just for my analogy that women who call ADHD husbands not doing chores well "weaponized incompetence" is no better than the guys who say their depressed wife is just lazy.My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY: https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/postshttps://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/postsJoin my awesome Midlife Women's Group here:
"Withdrawing Sex Is Abuse"? NO
On this episode, I discuss the internet idea that it's abusive not to have sex with your spouse. What? This is nonsense.My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY: https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/postshttps://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/postsJoin my awesome Midlife Women's Group here: drpsychmom.com/mwgTo get over 200 more episodes, mos
What's A Midlife Crisis And Why Does It Happen?
Today we will talk about your midlife crisis, what dimensions it tends to span, and why most deep thinkers have them! My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY: https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/postshttps://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/postsJoin my awesome Midlife Women's Group here: drpsychmom.com/mwgTo get over 200 more episodes, most recently
Misdiagnosis, The Future Of Psychiatry, And What We Don't Know About Mental Health: With Dr. Marc Lener
Today I have an awesome guest, Dr. Marc Lener, a psychiatrist who I've collaborated with on cases in the past. We have a rollicking conversation covering everything from misdiagnosing bipolar as depression to marijuana and who shouldn't use it to how AI is impacting the future of psychiatry. Highly recommend if you're interested in Black Mirror :) Dr. Lener studied the biological basis
With Friends Like Yourself, Do You Need Enemies?
Are you a good friend to yourself? Do you give yourself grace and compassion? Would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself? Or did you internalize a parent's voice and become a terrible friend to yourself? This episode is for you if you are your own worst enemy!My newest venture, including ALL BRAND NEW POSTS EVERY DAY: https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmom/postshttps://buymeacoffee.com/d
Avoidant Partners Look DOWN On Loved Ones And Preoccupied Partners Look UP!
Preoccupied attachment partners think their avoidant partners are BETTER than they are considered to be by others, in terms of looks, intelligence, and mental health. Avoidant partners think that their preoccupied attachment partners are WORSE than they are considered by others. This judgement exacerbates the superiority complex of the avoidant and the inferiority complex of the preoccupied. Here&
Romantic Objectification Is No Better Than Sexual Objectification: Are You A Limerent?
Limerence, or unrequited infatuation/preoccupied attachment, can make a partner feel just as objectified as sexual objectification can. All about how this works and why planning a million date nights isn't helping your relationship.The promised resources:My Husband: https://amzn.to/4qy7tWwVideo of guy coming up behind wife at sink: https://www.facebook.com/reel/1208664274068724Limerent woman a
Managing Expectations With Your Spouse... Why You Can't And Why That Makes Everything Worse
When your spouse asks for something that you can't/won't do, why do you tell them you will instead of answering honestly about your doubts and limitations? You could be a people pleaser, you could have limited self-awareness, and you could be clinging to an outdated or inaccurate self concept. How can you change in this domain for the better?If you enjoy my content, here's my buy me a
All About Treating Complex Trauma.... Parts Work, EMDR, Brainspotting and More! With Becca Newkirk!
Have you been triggered within your relationships because of past trauma due to being a parentified child, self-esteem issues, or overall stress in your home growing up? This is the episode for you. My awesome guest today is Becca Newkirk, a therapist licensed in MD, DC, and VA who specializes in trauma. Our discussion covers complex trauma, aka trauma from childhood, and how to treat it even if y
I'm 45! Here's What I've Learned In 20 Years Since My First Client
I've turned 45! I've been seeing clients for twenty years now and here's what I have learned about people and relationships. Dispelling some myths about therapists also.And if you'd like to wish me a happy birthday, here's my buy me a coffee link! https://buymeacoffee.com/drpsychmomJoin my awesome Midlife Women's Group here: drpsychmom.com/mwgTo get over 200 more episodes, most rec
Stop Trying To Compete With The Kids For Your Wife's Attention
Some men try to compete with their kids for their wife's attention and this invariably ends poorly. Don't go against evolution! Today's episode covers how to balance being a spouse and a parent in a way that will make sense to both you and your wife!Join my awesome Midlife Women's Group here: drpsychmom.com/mwgTo get over 200 more episodes, most recently "There
Did Your "Emotional Harem" Mask Your Avoidant Partner's Limitations?
When they start dating an avoidant partner, many people are still very close to a friend that fulfills their emotional or intellectual needs, who they flirt with (if they are honest). When the main relationship with the avoidant becomes more serious, like engagement or marriage, they end the friendship bc they want to engage fully in the relationship. Unfortunately, this is when it becomes obvious
What's Your Second Mountain At Midlife?
The book The Second Mountain by David Brooks is very interesting and speaks to a lot of issues that my midlife clients discuss with me every day. In this episode, I discuss what this concept means and how to use it to think about yourself and your life in a new way! The book: https://amzn.to/494JDMsJoin my awesome Midlife Women's Group here: drpsychmom.com/mwgTo get over 200 more episo
What To Expect When You're Expecting A TEENAGER!!!! Parenting Teenagers with Special Guest Dr. Rebecca Resnik!
Parenting teenagers is not for the weak! Today's wide ranging conversation with a fellow psychologist in my area covers:- Screen time: limits vs freedom- Perimenopause/menopause and parental issues impacting how you show up at this parenting stage- Anxiety in parents and how this impacts school refusal- How parents are triggered by their teenagers based on their own histories- Why high achieving p
When Your Husband Is Depressed
I often discuss how to support partners with depression, especially women, as women are twice as likely to struggle with depression. This episode discusses how specifically to support your husband when he suffers from depression, including what is support vs what is enabling!Join my awesome Midlife Women's Group here: drpsychmom.com/mwgTo get over 200 more episodes, most recent "When Y
Divorce and Finances With Russell Knight, Divorce Lawyer!
On today's episode, special guest Russell Knight and I discuss the financial ramifications of divorce. He practices in Illinois and Florida and shares his thoughts about divorce and money, as well as observations about trends in divorce, gray divorce, and tips for practical strategies to manage risk if you think a divorce is in your future!Follow and contact Russell here:https://www.youtube.com/@d
Do People Who Both Work From Home, Or Who Have Kids Every Other Weekend, Or Who Are Retired, Have More Sex?
There's this idea that you can hack your sex life by getting more free time. This is usually incorrect, for the reasons I very practically discuss in this episode! Join my awesome Midlife Women's Group here: drpsychmom.com/mwgTo get over 200 more episodes, most recent "Sex For Pleasure Within Marriage Over Time Is An Extremely New Idea," subscribe here!
Real Time Dating Profile Feedback For A 37 Year Old Man!
Today, Suzanna Mathews, Best Life coach, helps a Facebook follower with his dating profile... and I'm there for helpful remarks like telling him to branch out to dating cougars. Just kidding, I help a little too. Thanks so much to our awesome guest Ikshwaku! If you're a lovely lady in Phoenix, reach out to him at ikshwaku@live.com. He's smart, successful, and openminded enough to come
What To Say When Your Wife Says No To Sex; Two Paths In The Flowchart
There are two funnels to go down based on whether this is one week off of regular activity or a long term sexless marriage. As always, sulking or coercing is never an option. Here are some useful scripts and reframes!Join my awesome Midlife Women's Group here: drpsychmom.com/mwgTo get over 200 more episodes, most recent "Sex For Pleasure Within Marriage Over Time Is An Extremely New Idea," s
Ketamine Assisted Therapy with Meredith Futernick!
Meredith is the first therapist I ever hired at Best Life and she's awesome. Today's episode covers everything about ketamine assisted therapy, including step by step what the sessions are like, how you can now do it from the comfort of your home, the experiences she and I had with ketamine ourselves, ketamine assisted couples therapy, and the intersection of medication and therapy overall
Work, Hobbies, Friends: The Avoidant Mantra And Why This Is The Era Of The Avoidant
Look out if you are dating someone with this mantra! You will always come fourth... and if they are dating after divorce with kids, you'll come fifth! Also: this appears to be the cultural moment of the avoidant! Why? Well, listen and find out.Join my awesome Midlife Women's Group here: drpsychmom.com/mwgTo get over 200 more episodes, most recent "Being With An Avoidant Partner Ca
Renata Ellera on Attachment, Social Media, Anxiously Attached Women, Culture, And Everything Else!
Today's special guest is Renata Ellera, a clinical psychologist from Brazil who writes the smart and relationship-focused Substack Love Better. Our fun discussion covered a range of topics including cute Instagram couples ruining people's perspective of their own relationships, advice we would give to anxiously attached women dating avoidant guys, cultural differences between here and Braz
Meredith Masony: An Honest Talk About Being A Woman At Midlife!
Meredith Masony is awesome. I met her ten years ago at Blog U, a now defunct conference for mommy bloggers, and she has since skyrocketed to internet fame. This is a very honest and open chat about periods, HRT, perimenopause, parenting teens, empty nest, being a woman in the public eye, breast augmentation (which we did a decade apart!), marriage issues, her "second mountain," the near
Lana Li and I Discuss How Much Of Dating Behavior Predicts How People Will Act In Marriage!
Today we have Lana Li, who I follow on Substack! We discuss dating as a young overeducated woman in New York City, lol. She was doing that till recently and I was doing it 25 years ago! We had a fun conversation about using data in dating, the end of the honeymoon stage, avoidant men and preoccupied women, and more!Follow Lana here: https://lovemelikearobot.substack.com/Join the Midlife Women's gr
You Are An Unreliable Narrator And So Is Everyone Else... Or, How To Become 100x Wiser In One Minute
Today's episode discusses how to become 100 times wiser in a minute: Whenever you hear any relationship story from one side, assume if the partner told you their perspective you'd agree that the other one was terrible! Listen, I also used to think that everyone was a reliable narrator even through the initial years of being a therapist. The reality is that people unintentionally tell only
"My Husband Came Out After Years Of Sexlessness": Recovering From Betrayal Trauma With Guest Brandi Stupica
In today's longest episode ever, we go through the backstory of Brandi, who is a Developmental Psychology PhD and whose husband came out as transgender after years of marital dysfunction. What I love about Brandi, who I also knew in grad school, is how she owns her own contribution to this dysfunction, looking at her part through an attachment lens. Anyone who has been involved with an avoidan
Sex and Porn Addiction With Duane Osterlind, LMFT, CSAT of The Addicted Mind Podcast!
Today I have an amazing guest who is a true expert on all things addiction! Duane Osterlind is a therapist who has been working in the field of addiction for two decades and who hosts the podcast The Addicted Mind. We discuss:- What is sex addiction?- How do couples repair after betrayal trauma/PTSD?- What is "deceptive sexuality"?- What is the role of childhood trauma in eventual sex addiction?-
If She's The CEO And You're The CFO (Chief F-ing Officer), This Doesn't Count As Division Of Labor
I came up with this funny phrase in a couples session and told the couple it was too good not to use in a podcast! :) Some women feel like the CEO of the home, and they are okay with that, as long as the man acts like the COO or the CTO or anything but the CFO.... The Chief Fucking Officer. If all that your wife feels that you spearhead in the home is related to your spearhead, this isn't going to
Let Your Wife Take Care Of You Or She Will Feel Unnecessary To You Except For Sex (Which Is Bad)
Many guys think that a woman taking care of a man is a turn off to her, and think "The only thing I really want from her is sex, so that will be my only ask." In fact, this makes her feel unloved, devalued, and like a sex worker. Here's how to change the frame and open yourself up to the scary feeling of interdependence, which is particularly hard for workhorse men!Join the Midlife Women's group h
Laura How Is Still My Spirit Animal, or Part 2 Of Our Thoughts on Marriage And Love!!
Another rollicking good time and intriguing discussion with my spirit animal from across the pond: the inimitable Laura How! We discuss marriage, gender, how having a child shapes your ability to love, growing up in dysfunctional families, whether I will ever see her husband Russ on an episode, sons vs daughters, relationship skills vs innate compatibility, and so much more!! Leave a comment if yo
Psychoanalytic Therapy: Not What You May Think! With Dr. Amanda Akers!
Dr. Amanda Akers, one of our awesome Best Life clinicians, has a free flowing and often funny discussion with me about the ins and outs of psychoanalytic therapy. We cover myths vs reality, why both of us take a deeper perspective than CBT, our own thoughts about the impact of childhood in adulthood, and I ask her the most common questions I get from clients about this approach, like... how long d
All About Infidelity... With Tehilla Luttig!
In this episode, I have an awesome special guest: Tehilla Luttig, LMHC! Tehilla is a licensed therapist in South Africa who sees therapy clients internationally and coaching clients in the U.S. and Canada for Best Life Behavioral Health. We discuss infidelity, attachment styles, and much more! Learn about who cheats and why, what people think about infidelity vs reality, and how to recover and mov
Why Is Your Wife Terrified To Give You Sexual Feedback?
Many guys have no idea how women internalize the idea that if you tell a man anything about his penis that isn't positive, you will destroy his self-esteem and his penis will never work again and IT WILL BE ALL HER FAULT! Today's episode discusses the origin of this idea, how it sabotages open communication and connection, and how to get over this myth and move forward (unless you tend to take eve
Yes, Many Men Want More Foreplay
Got a comment on Facebook on a post about how a common mistake people make in their 40s is not allotting enough time to foreplay. This guy said: "It's not people, it's women who need the foreplay. Let's keep things accurate if we are going to educate." I always do aim to educate and give accurate info, so here's a deeper dive into what I see in practice in terms of men and foreplay!Join the Midlif
When Your Parent Dies And You Become The Oldest Generation
The death of your parent(s) is a significant life event, and can lead to tremendous change in your self-concept. No matter how old you are, this makes you recognize that you are truly older, and the top generation. This was one topic we discussed this past week in the midlife women's group, and it resonated with many, whether or not you're close to your parent. And join the Midlife Women's group h
Your Wife Is Four Different Women Over The Course Of The Month...With Alyx Coble-Frakes of The Agenda. App
In this episode, I'm joined by Alyx Coble-Frakes, the CEO and founder of The Agenda., an awesome app that helps women understand and optimize their lives around their menstrual cycles and hormonal health. We are both in our luteal phases recording this lol. And we are both divorced and remarried/she is engaged. So much in common. Including that she lives next to my favorite state of Nebraska! A re
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