Hello Dysfunction
A raw and hilarious dive into current events, familial chaos, awkward sexual experiences, navigating mental illness, gossip, and the political dumpster fire we’re all forced to live in.
Episodes
S2 Ep370: You’re a Fed
Your first period, the boys are crying, Alloclae complications and Christa Pike won’t quit. No for-profit prisons, is Gypsy Rose back on her bs, self defense fashion and some kitten confessions. For early and uncensored releases, weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFoll
S2 Ep369: Would You Cheat On A Murderer ?
Fall is finally here, Gloria Estefan is alive, nail glue remover is worth it and Pat will drink iced coffee from a stranger. Justice for Nolan Wells, underwear isn’t really optional, ignoring past grossness and we have a listener in a pickle. For early uncensored releases, weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouT
S2 Ep368: Use Your Nose
Trust your nose, no men in gynecology, floating meditation and addictive phone games. Gas station rip offs, pray for the tenderloin, worst bday gift ever and using poop to cheat. For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hello
S2 Ep367: SilverDaddies Support Group
Welcome JP! Santana is 6, Pat and Lev are overheating, designer grandmacore, and Fat Joe is embarrassing. Adidas with another “mistake”, the Blueface circus continues, quaaludes making a comeback and some horrible cheating revelations. JP from The Grill joins Pat to talk music, moving to the Bay, family boundaries and keeping it professional.❤️ Follow JP atInstagram.com/jtooswavy For weekly bonus
S2 Ep366: Lindsay Is Innocent
Pat got good biopsy news, Santana survived the dentist, Mochi is making sin biscuits and love bombing is never safe. AI is getting darker, Lexus is watching us, Blueface has a toothbrush confession, a fake 49er found love, kangaroo tail is not oxtail and maybe Lindsay is innocent?For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Su
S2 Ep365: Disgusting Habits
Pat had a biopsy, AIDS at the club, the Silly Summer Swap and Peez needs to fight. Praying for Chantel Brooks safe return, 20 years with Santa Muerte, flock cameras are for evil, and some really disgusting stories. For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
S2 Ep364: Dick Doctor
Kids don’t need lashes, Pat got a unique gift, the live show is postponed, and adult humor where it doesn’t belong. Cat and Jack program, a creative paint hack, Van Gogh was a creep, and there should be a child abuse database. For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hell
S2 Ep363: P**sy Injections
Getting ready for school, Pat is a driver, a mystery biopsies are medieval and Peez has a secret. A live show is coming, hoarders are dedicated, eshays are fascinating and a fun new corner of facebook. For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on
S2 Ep362: Thursday Is Orange
Old people forget ages, object empathy might be hereditary, the kids are obsessed with Michael Jackson the Netflix trend is getting crazy. People are lying about hiking, more hygiene nightmares, new shoe scams and some good stuff to watch. For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://yout
S2 Ep361: Evil Rice
Isolating is nice, a horrible discovery, old men love young girls and more stores are scanning our face. Did Kendra overreact, no more vacation excursions, is your friend’s crush off limits and will you date someone broke?For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysf
S2 Ep360: I Got Hacked
A weird sore throat, a persistent hacker, Peez is a ballerina and Pat is blocked. Monitor your kids devices, Boosie got some karma, scary poop stories and even scarier ghost tales.For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hell
S2 Ep359: Dirty Mackin
Pat is turning into that cat lady, Lev has a new friend, July 5th is Dre Day and justice for Nolan Wells! Chris Brown is a menace, stealing sauce, stop using the robots and check your creepy friends. For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on I
S2 Ep358: Meet The Host
Happy Birthday Big Juice, late night recording, some must see documentaries and a lengthy reintroduction. For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
S2 Ep357: Who's More Elegant
Summer camp sounds good, free cussing days, shoutout to the great dads and happy birthday Bunny!! Flower wars, no sleepovers, an internal yawn and put on a bra.For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Submit
S2 Ep356: We’re Not Animals
Summer break has started, Bunny is turning 18, some wild documentaries and Peez needs a band-aid. Don’t declaw animals, no eye contact, figging not fogging and humans need two sleeps.For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/h
S2 Ep355: Her Other Mom ft Natalia Durazo
Welcome Natalia! Being a true LA girly, early face tattoos, being allergic to THC and recreating hood classics. Running multiple businesses while honoring a relatable upbringing, filling a space in the party scene, creating high quality cosmetics and continuously inspiring others. ❤️ Follow Natalia at Instagram.com/nataliagoldbella-dona.comhoneybgold.comScamandjam.comFor weekly bonus episodes, H
S2 Ep354: "Naked Woman" ft Alex Kekesi w PornHub
Welcome Alex! Surround yourself with creatives, long live Mook Life, debunking harmful PH rumors and SW is hard work. Unexplained censorship, viewers can spot a fraud, reviewing top searches and secret fun at work. ❤️ Follow Alex at Instagram.com/alexkekesiFor weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on You
S2 Ep353: 7-11 Dance Off ft 2 Soliid
Welcome 2Soliid! Becoming an award winning braider, teaching incarcerated women, the importance of multiple hustles and staying out of trouble. Processing grief, social anxiety, difficult clients and HD topics that made a lasting impression. ❤️ Follow 2Soliid at Instagram.com/2soliidInstagram.com/freedombraidersFor weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon
S2 Ep352: You're Scaring The Hoes ft Abe
Welcome Abe! Home school, the Bay Area’s weird white culture, Juggalos and a respectable scam. San Francisco’s shift, gentrification, Swamp Storiez reveal and we hate Walnut Creek. ❤️ Follow Abe at Instagram.com/realbayareamemesInstagram.com/abeisabadwriter For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on Yo
S2 Ep351: Chili Finger
We’re keeping our jean jackets, tattoo is finished, medication adjustments and a wild hospital visit. Mother’s Day was rough, boys are becoming “hot”, chili trauma and pandemic concerns. For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.c
S2 Ep350: Blame The Worms ft Jaymee
Welcome Jaymee! RIP Midnight, a weekend getaway, wild birthday parties and permanent effects of SSRI’s. Scotch tape is more useful than we thought, watch your mouth, bring back quick executions and we might be running out of gas. ❤️ Follow Jaymee at Instagram.com/whereisjaymeeFor weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscr
S2 Ep349: Zoom Out ft Mykillah
Welcome Mykillah! Stay Golden, we’re becoming the Jetsons, love makes you softer and a medication journey. Early perimenopause, loving yourself, the guilt of success and skin suits.❤️ Follow Mykillah at Instagram.com/mykillahFor weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellod
S2 Ep348: Wash Your Panties
Where are the gas boosters, too many hats, hurts to walk and our girl is getting surgery. Bring back executions, my time with a Little, don’t eat inside McDonald’s and horrible sister in laws. For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Insta
S2 Ep347: Crying In The Donut
They can’t arrest us all, the church is on the way, Stephanie was combative and social anxiety is crippling. Waking up to an actual nightmare, what happened to Ashlee Jenae, social unrest has been glorious and men + power is a dangerous combination. For weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!ht
S2 Ep346: Dicksappointed ft Jose - EXPLICIT
Welcome back Jose! Living vicariously, sniffies action shots, men catfishing and passionate making out. Making it clap, danglers, hidden glory holes and the feeling of poppers. ❤️ Follow Jose at Instagram.com/xjsilverioFor weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunc
S2 Ep345: Granny Pants ft Elrod (@mexakitsch)
Welcome Elrod!! The exhilaration of a thrift score, Pat’s grown woman foot, moving to the Bay Area and understanding that failure is a lesson. Creating an arsenal of skills, serious table setting, the two rules of life and exercise your mental muscle! ❤️ Follow Elrod at Instagram.com/mexakitsch Mexakitsch.comInternationaltablesettingassociation.orgFor weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early release
S2 Ep344: Slight Flare ft Kris Staxx
Welcome Kris Staxx! Our kids are our biggest haters, the private school experience, square up and Juice Week pt 2. Hit a parlay, waiting in lines for shoes, dating as an older adult and lock up false accusers.❤️ Follow Kris at Instagram.com/krisstaxxFor weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!ht
S2 Ep343: Freaky Furs ft Deltrice
Welcome Deltrice! RIP Myspace, St. Patrick’s ugly history, prayers for Lev and DJ Fresh’s keen intuition. Growing up with a natural gift, the introduction of Bella, hometown respect and Vegas pt 2 with cat and fox.❤️ Follow Deltrice at Instagram.com/davoicestillFor bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTu
S2 Ep342: Horny Poetry ft Miss Ashleigh
Welcome Miss Ashleigh! Great minds think alike, growing up in the country, ancestry surprises and psychology studies. Radio shows, spoken word, navigating the mental side of sw and some cool prison stories. For bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG
S2 Ep341: Woman of Leisure ft Sexy Nelly
Welcome Nelly! Gas station hostage, sickness is going around, intro to the game and girls are sexualized EARLY. Always trust your gut, spicy online content, working for a service and something to give you nightmares. ❤️ Follow Nelly at Instagram.com/sexynellyy For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https:
S2 Ep340: Three Day Run
Been a busy girl, unexpected visitor, great Bay Area representation and Gavin should stop talking. A local kidnapping, pray for Mexico, RIP PeeWee and don’t be rich and play poor. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Sub
S2 Ep339: Rub Maps ft Alyssa
Welcome Alyssa! We love good maintenance, are women the gross ones, men will do anything and a provider does not want your man. Don't discuss too much on the phone, creative new services, huge dad nightmares and a story of survival. ❤️ Follow Alyssa at Cry Baby Pampering Instagram.com/crybabypampering For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunc
S2 Ep338: Not Mething Around ft Jose
Welcome Jose! Super Bowl weekend , fold your clothes, we don’t understand numbers and college is hard. Neighbors being ridiculous, driving ticket tips, Kraft singles and surprise chili dogs. ❤️ Follow Jose at Instagram.com/xjsilverio For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfun
S2 Ep337: Not My Stud ft Jaymee
Meet niece Jaymee, another earthquake, testing Pat’s memory and 2026 is not being nice. Eat the rich, Elon is humiliating, Blueface is back and stop hiding the aliens!❤️ Follow Jaymee at Instagram.com/whereisjaymeeTiktok.com/@whereisjaymeeFor bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodys
S2 Ep336: “It’s Me….Hello”
It’s been a rough week, neurodivergent headquarters, rethinking barber school and congratulations to raffle winners LUVY and TESSA JENKINS!! TikTok is cooked, give back plastic bags, sneaky workplace fun and inappropriate grandmas. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfuncti
S1 Ep335: Boston Beckham
Crystal is doing better, guest episodes are coming, Happy Birthday Stinkers and Xmas is gone. Congratulations Rubi Ro and Carmen, it costs more to be left handed, boy moms strike again and a viral snack worth trying. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on I
S1 Ep334: Jacosta
Peez is a feisty old woman, Pat’s been cooking, Crystal made a mistake and hands off Venezuela. Abolish ICE, new holsters, a surprise protein source and stay away from mad scientists. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
S1 Ep333: Happy New Year 2026
Nice coats, big cleaning plans, NYE traditions and prime thrifting. School for fun, Mochi is innocent, give us our plastic bags and the United States is an ATM.For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafr
S1 Ep332: A Christmas Miracle
Disclaimer: we’ve experienced some technical difficulties this week so our apologies for the sound quality!! They have since been corrected so next week will be great! Christmas is over, the best neighbor is gone, Crystal scored on marketplace and warn your kids before their toys pee. Mochi might be up for adoption, buy your sons baby dolls, magas had a rough week and Crystal invented new nachos.
S1 Ep331: Crazy As A Betsy Bug
Pat is sick, telepathy is real, it’s ok to be a gremlin and the holiday party was LOVE. Christmas can be every day, let’s play QVC, POTUS finds a new low and perimenopause changes your senses! For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodys
S1 Ep330: Do A Bump
Pat is the grinch, we hate inconsiderate neighbors, check on your mom if she screams and 67 is not a devil number. Dressing for attention is over, always use the correct wipes, 304s need to up their price and actually make excellent housewives. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@he
S1 Ep329: Dirty White Gremlin
Celebs will always let you down, don’t claim to be native unless you have proof, the holiday party is almost here and increase pay for all teachers! Cats speak English, Pat the barber, above average social skills and let’s be ants. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
S1 Ep328: The San Francisco Treat
The holidays are here, eat some weevils, we love a mullet and Zach had a nice breakfast. Crystal had an oops, there’s something strange in the neighborhood, don’t flush honeydew and no more Campbell’s soup!For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram
S1 Ep327: AC Transit Belt
Get your Holiday Hangout tickets, old episodes are crazy, Crystal loves dirty bears and grief is weird. Growing up without parents is hard, don’t gamble with Pat, some kids need hit and shoplifting class. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.
S1 Ep326: Christmas Committee
Earthquake! Happy Birthday Carolyn, we had a garage sale and no more pennies. Teeth are a luxury, Christmas is cancelled, churches aren’t walking the walk and art theft is so lazy. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram
S1 Ep325: Wiener War
Happy Birthday Will! Crystal is in disguise, daylight savings is whooping us and poor people can scam. We’re only good at war, push kids to learn phonics, Aileen didn’t get a fair trial and Crystal snuck off to the movies. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG
S1 Ep324: Grandpa Stew
Marysville is different, we’ve been mispronouncing words, turn off automatic braking and we want women drivers. Pat made a calm down corner, ghosts are attention seeking, don’t shop this holiday season and what did YOU take for show and tell? For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfun
S1 Ep323: I Don't Got The Spirit
The universe said Pat’s been too happy, people have been mean to Crystal, Blueface is possibly Pat’s soulmate and Peez dances to her own drum. Don’t knock b*tches at the gym, get your merch while you can, protect your neighbors and you can’t pray away mental illness. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https:
S1 Ep322: Those Are Garfield's Words
Happy 7 years, Columbus Day my *ss, sunglasses at the gym and no more jean jackets? White dog poop, nostalgic snacks, some new bills and separate beds. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafriaInstagram.co
S1 Ep321: He Had Pony Tails
Teach your kids to keep their hands to themselves, Crystal had an awkward encounter, Peez taught herself piano and Happy Birthday Kandi! We miss churro cheesecake, don’t scam people with photoshop, October is Domestic Violence Awareness month and we’re making ourselves impatient. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on Y
S1 Ep320: In Women's Business
Don’t copy Peez’ mom, Crystal misses Jnco’s, the daytime isn’t so bad and today is Orange Shirt Day. Spumoni is a top tier dessert, let people wear what they want, sometimes you have to tattoo your face and some celebrities don’t deserve anyone’s attention. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube
S1 Ep319: More Nightmares
Earthquakes and indecisive weather, dreaming of scams, Bay Area crime cases and some good Facebook drama. An interesting theory on soulmates, Peez is a baker, did Crystal have an animal returned, and the rapture was rescheduled. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us
S1 Ep318: I Step On Men
Crystal had big feet, Pat is a fitness girly, Mochi had an adventure and Peez’ teacher messed up. Book club ideas, horrible unsolved murders, the U.S. is under occupation and free speech is a thing of the past. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.
S1 Ep317: I Feel Like Ozzy
Nice Crystal’s dead, Pat’s having weird dreams again, a mystery tea set and a new P.O. Box. Sharing symptoms is rude, Peez had the best birthday ever, karma comes for everyone and the Pata Fria curse is brutal. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.
S1 Ep316: BPD Is A Great Thing
First day of school again, bathroom residents, Crystal has a wound and we’ll finally get some relief. Pat has a dad Crystal has a mom, Unknown Caller was wild, mental illness has it’s perks and Aunt Deb is running out of patience. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow
S1 Ep315: Montel, I'm Mad At You
Don’t waste your bangs, escape rooms are fun, always shop with a list and cries without tears are a tell. Did we love a fraud? Men need to step it up, kids need grit and Crystal is losing her mind. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysf
S1 Ep314: MARK, Get In Here
Peez started kindergarten, Crystal had a relaxing birthday, perimenopause is killing us and sometimes you need to be a Karen. Common courtesy is dead, more extreme body mods, don't stiff nice servers or put out cigarettes on the windows. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction
S1 Ep313: You Better Run
Happy Anniversary, Mexico was eventful, Crystal is not a traveler and Peez is a sour patch kid. Pat doesn’t own a mop, school is starting, no toilet services, and no more missionaries. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Insta
S1 Ep312: Elizabeth?
Back on black cohosh, we have a new baby, this weekend was scary and we need a carpenter. Childhood photos, cannibal sandwiches, humans are still a disappointment and protect the geniuses. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction I
S1 Ep311: Golden River
Crystal got her hair done and a new piercing, 4loko cans are a warning, thrift prices are disrespectful and Pat got some bad news. Don’t puke in the sink, avoid mud while on adventures, cops shouldn’t be hitting anyone and Peez is in love. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfuncti
S1 Ep310: A Sad Origin Story
Things are getting better, Peez is hoarding, OCD just doesn’t make sense and farewell Great America. Crystal is still terrorizing Pat’s dreams, Trump didn’t get shot, uniqueness reigns supreme and there’s been a lot of crazy news. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow
S1 Ep309: 309 - What Binders?
Pat is playing referee, Sunday was a flop, Crystal has been writing and was asked to babysit. RIP Amanda, no more pets, random singing and our government lies in our face. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurk
S1 Ep308: A Summer Treat
RIP Antonio, we’re sweaty, Pat’s back is broken and CA has some new laws. Don’t get fake abs, change your towels out, OCD sometimes promotes good habits and billionaires aren’t good people. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
S1 Ep307: Not Everyone Gets A Sandwich
Weekend unboxing, Bunny’s birthday, a fire scare and old Italian tradition. A close call, don’t let your kids join the military, messy true crime and some people are only for a season.For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instag
S1 Ep306: Bonsai
RIP Uncle Jimmy, Father's Day was cute, is WW3 happening and is MAGA waking up? Some people don’t deserve fans, WWF wrestling was NUTS, the government is experimenting on our brains and we’re really out of shape. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagra
S1 Ep305: Geriatric Prostitute
Antique water heater for sale, Crystal did Zumba, Kaitlyn’s return and unicorn searches. Bloody boots, we’re really sweaty, new teeth option and FCK ICE. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafriaInstagram.
S1 Ep304: Are They Cigaretting?
It’s 304 day, pride and men’s mental health awareness month! A busy weekend, Filipino karaoke and Crystal thinks she’s a poet. The boycotts aren’t over, don’t parasail alone and missing teeth can be hot. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hel
S1 Ep303: Don't Tell My Family
Pat really likes her doctor, always kiss the judge’s a*s, root canals are bad for you and Peez is outta control. Comedy show update, tired of the credit score game, Crystal is still talking to strangers and irrational fears are crippling. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctio
S1 Ep302: Take The Scissors
It’s Stevi and Pat’s birthday, mammograms aren’t that bad, Crystal gave herself a haircut and Pat is warming up to animals. Eat better for your health, is Annabelle causing chaos, parenting is sometimes self healing and bring back MTV. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFo
S1 Ep301: That's Horny Time
Mother’s Day recap, Pat had a busy weekend, new possible beauty treatment and Crystal has an unwanted admirer. Miss Piggy was not ok, Pat is being set up, trust your kid’s intuition and family can get cut off too. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagr
S1 Ep300: We Both Got Gems
Avon is mysteriously at CVS, Pat is having some scary stuff, we have matching jewels and need to stop speaking things into existence. Crystal has been sad, always get the money FIRST, ghosts are active and there’s a new true crime show to binge. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodys
S1 Ep299: You're No Good
Pat had another dream about Crystal, shopping with Carolyn is always fun, the impending doom of having something to do and sometimes our bodies are against us. Do you believe in reincarnation? The only cool thing about a Tesla, no white shoes and an update on piss over ice. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
S1 Ep298: Wiener Reset
Pat’s had a hard week, Mark is keeping secrets, doctors don’t know everything and we curl our twos. Elvis was carrying a child, chew your coconut oil, interesting medical devices and only fake moan for people you love. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: In
S1 Ep297: I Know Better Than You
Crystal has lips, Pata Fria had a lonely weekend, Tahoe was turnt and merch is on the way. Surgery is coming up, Pata Fria wants an old school, catch our live streams on Patreon and Elephants are really amazing. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram
S1 Ep296: Use It Or Lose It
The cats are in big trouble, Pata Fria is being humbled, Crystal made a medical device and all our kids are unique. Ghosts are acting up, our government is starting a lot of problems, men shouldn’t be gynecologists and don’t date violent people. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG:
S1 Ep295: Never Knew A F*ck
We’re redecorating the set, Crystal finally dissolved her lips, medication adjustments are still happening and influenza is around again. Crystal had a kind exchange, Pata Fria is planning a vacation, the raccoons are getting too comfortable and Jimbo will always do the most. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@h
S1 Ep294: Vaginal Water Gun
Abrupt weather changes are frustrating, Target is feeling the boycott, Aunt Flo is mean and we want Crystal back to herself. Sweet Potatoes are helping, new merch is available, some people can shoot water and don’t leave subs unattended!!For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagr
S1 Ep293: Where's My Provider Lesbian?
Itsnotreal is a terrorist state, Home Depot was not welcoming to Pat, don’t trust raggedy dentist offices and Crystal had a really close call. Going to sleep is embarrassing, sometimes you have to parent the parents, Crystal is in the Mandela effect and do not play about your credit. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube!https://youtub
S1 Ep292: Agent of Chaos
Crystal is sick, it’s raining again, make sure you subscribe on your web browser and Pat embarrassed herself once again. Don’t sniff salts, we love green flags, daylight savings is causing harm and don’t snitch on your co-workers. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/
S1 Ep291: Shut Up & Square Dance
We were rollie pollies, everyone should have exotic animals at work, Pat is a pool shark and may have got dosed. It’s time to find Uncle Crissss, women gotta do better, square dancing has an ugly history and Luigi might be coming home. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram
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