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Talking Your Way to Change: A Mental Health and Psychology Podcast

Talking Your Way to Change: A Mental Health and Psychology Podcast

Xan Banker , Psy.D., L.P 92 Episodes Oct 11, 2026

This is a podcast about slowing down, understanding ourselves more deeply, and finding steadiness in a complex world. Hosted by Dr. Xan Banker, a licensed psychologist with decades of clinical experience, each episode explores mental health, psychotherapy, trauma, nervous system responses, relationships, and the inner patterns that shape how we cope. This is a space for reflection, emotional insight, and practical tools — not quick fixes, but meaningful change over time. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional help.

Episodes

#91 How to Choose One Small Practice That Actually Changes Your Life
#91 How to Choose One Small Practice That Actually Changes Your Life Oct 11, 2026 00:11:40 Choosing What to Work On in Therapy: Character Strengths, Resilience, and Well-BeingThis solo episode helps you sort through what to focus on in therapy or personal growth by introducing three practical frameworks: character strengths, resilience, and well-being. Xan explains how each one can guide different kinds of change, especially during stressful or emotional seasons like the holidays. Inste
#90 Why One Mistake Can Become Your Identity
#90 Why One Mistake Can Become Your Identity Sep 12, 2026 00:14:07 When a Setback Becomes an Identity: The Feared Self, Beliefs, and the Stories We CarryThis episode looks at why insight alone often does not change behavior, even when someone knows exactly what they “should” do. Dr. Banker explains how setbacks can get folded into identity, how schemas shape the meaning we assign to events, and why real change usually requires both reflection and repeated new exp
#89 The Stories You Tell Yourself Are Not Facts
#89 The Stories You Tell Yourself Are Not Facts Sep 4, 2026 00:08:53 This solo guided reflection invites listeners to step back from rigid self-definitions and consider who they are becoming. You are not stuck with the story you’ve been telling yourself. This short guided reflection helps you loosen old labels, question the beliefs that have been running your life, and start becoming the version of you that feels more real, more confident, and more free.With calmin
#88 Motivation and the Self: Who We Think We Are Shapes What We Do
#88 Motivation and the Self: Who We Think We Are Shapes What We Do Aug 19, 2026 00:36:19 This is the 4th Episode in a Self Series: Motivation and the Self: How Who I Am Influences What I DoEpisode #1: Answering the Question Who am I? What is Your Self-Concept Episode #2: The Self-Concept is Dynamic Episode #3: The Secret to Psychological Freedom: Strengthening the Part of You That Knows This episode explores how self-concept, possible selves, and motivation work together in a way that
#87 The Secret to Psychological Freedom: Strengthening the Part of You That Knows
#87 The Secret to Psychological Freedom: Strengthening the Part of You That Knows Jul 31, 2026 00:18:22 In this episode of Talking Your Way to Change, Dr. Xan Banker dives deep into the fascinating nature of self-awareness, emphasizing how our ability to observe and reflect on ourselves is uniquely human and vital for growth and resilience. If you've ever wondered how we develop a sense of self, or how therapy helps us expand our inner awareness, this episode offers clear insights grounded in psycho
#86 The Self Doesn't Just Describe Who You Are—It Shapes How You Experience the World
#86 The Self Doesn't Just Describe Who You Are—It Shapes How You Experience the World Jul 14, 2026 00:21:39 This episode explores how the self is more than static qualities; it is an active, ever-changing psychological system. By unraveling the layers of self-concept, self-processes, and the different versions of ourselves, we gain tools for healthier self-management and deeper self-awareness—crucial for both personal growth and effective therapy.The self is like a river—always changing, yet maintaining
#85 Who Are You? Exploring the Layers of Self-Identity
#85 Who Are You? Exploring the Layers of Self-Identity Jul 1, 2026 00:25:01 This episode explores the concept of self-identity, how it shapes our lives, and how understanding our self-concept can lead to greater resilience and self-awareness. Dr. Xan Banker guides listeners through reflective exercises and psychological insights to deepen self-understanding. It is the first in a series "What is the Self?" Keywordsself-identity, self-concept, psychology, resilien
#84 Why You Struggle to Set Boundaries (Even When You Know Exactly What to Say)
#84 Why You Struggle to Set Boundaries (Even When You Know Exactly What to Say) Jun 2, 2026 00:35:51 SummaryThis episode explores the complex nature of boundaries from a psychodynamic and mentalizing perspective, emphasizing internal processes, common mistakes, and practical insights for setting healthy boundaries.Keywordsboundaries, mentalization, psychodynamic, self-protection, relationships, emotional safety, boundary setting, internal processesKey TopicsThe internal experience of boundary set
#83 Social Anxiety: A Smaller World and a Crowded Mind
#83 Social Anxiety: A Smaller World and a Crowded Mind Apr 27, 2026 00:15:50 In this episode, Dr. Banker breaks down social anxiety beyond stereotypes—exploring what it truly looks like, how it forms, and what healing entails. Whether you struggle with it or want to understand someone who does, you'll come away with clarity about this often-misunderstood condition and practical insights for growth.Key topics covered:Treating social anxiety doesn't mean becoming loud or ove
#82 “Where Did My Anxiety Come From… and Does It Even Matter?”
#82 “Where Did My Anxiety Come From… and Does It Even Matter?” Apr 6, 2026 00:18:32 This episode explores the nuanced understanding of anxiety, emphasizing the importance of identifying its root causes—biological, psychological, environmental, relational, and learned patterns—to enhance healing and reduce shame. Listen to hear why your anxiety isn’t just personal failure — it’s learned patterns we can change Chapters00:00 Understanding Anxiety: The Why Behind the Feelings05:45 Th
#81 Why Vacations Sometimes Feel Uncomfortable: The Hidden Psychology
#81 Why Vacations Sometimes Feel Uncomfortable: The Hidden Psychology Mar 12, 2026 00:15:51 This episode explores why vacations sometimes feel psychologically uncomfortable, especially for high-functioning individuals. It delves into the physiological and identity-related aspects of recovery, offering insights into managing stress, detachment, and mastery for better mental health.Keywords: psychological recovery, vacation stress, nervous system, identity, mastery, relaxation, autonomy, m
#80 Understanding Burnout: Beyond Fatigue to Nervous System Signatures and Giving Yourself Permission to Make Changes
#80 Understanding Burnout: Beyond Fatigue to Nervous System Signatures and Giving Yourself Permission to Make Changes Mar 2, 2026 00:11:00 This episode explores the complex nature of burnout, emphasizing its psychological and systemic roots, nervous system signatures, and practical recovery strategies. Hosted by Dr. Xan Banker, a licensed psychologist, it offers insights into understanding and healing burnout beyond conventional approaches.Key TopicsBurnout as a system issue and nervous system signatureThe three core components of bu

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