Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups
A.J. Mahari, a counselor and trauma recovery coach with 35 years of experience, hosts this podcast focused on helping people survive breakups involving Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The show covers topics such as codependency, inner child healing, family of origin issues, and self-differentiation. It also addresses recovery from narcissistic relationship breakups and narcissistic abuse. The podcast provides guidance for various relationship types and offers resources for healing.
Episodes
BPD Joint Therapy Fantasy BPD Right Fighting Pathological Lying vs Your Eggshell Walking
BPD Joint Therapy Fantasy BPD Right-Fighting & Pathological Lying vs Your Eggshell-WalkingBPD joint therapy doesn’t work and is a fantasy bonded nightmare of Borderline victim/martyr cs your Codependent walking on eggshells and trauma bond addiction to intermittent reinforcement.Borderlines - unless clinically proven to actually be recovered need their own therapy and you need yours. BPD relat
BPD Negative Behavior - Don’t Confront It - What Can You Do_
BPD Negative Behavior - Don’t Confront It - What Can You Do?BPD Negative Behavior - You can’t confront it. You may have unsuccessfully tried endless times. It increases your suffering each time, but to not say anything will increase your suffering as well. This is the heart of BPD toxic relationships wherein you just cannot win.What can you actually do? What you can do is admit your are powerless
High Functioning Borderlines in Careers vs Relationships
High Functioning BPD in Careers vs RelationshipsHow can a person diagnosed with BPD and with many active Borderline traits, behaviour etc in a relationship possibly function in careers, and often be or be becoming Social Workers and Psychologists?The core reason is the vast difference in many with high functioning BPD having a high IQ in the absence of emotional relational intelligence. They remai
Co-Parenting or Paralell Parenting With a BPD Ex - Another RollerCoaster
Co-Pareting or Parallel Parenting With a BPD Ex - Another RollerCoasterCo-Parenting or Parallel parenting with a BPD - Borderline Personality Disordered Ex is for somany people, a nightmare. Not all BPD parents are the same, but, many, many of them are untreated,competitive, need their child or children's love and validation in such an unhealthy way that their need for a child or children's "loyal
BPD Sudden Discard of Monkey Branching Crushed Future
BPD Sudden Discard of Monkey Branching Crushed FutureMany people who have been in short term or long term relationships with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder experience a BPD sudden discard of monkey branching that just crushes you and all the future plans that you believed were going to be your life unfolding in the relationship with the person with BPD that you didn't know, you didn'
The Glass Borderline "H*mpty D*mpty" No Real Self
The Glass Borderline 'H*mpty D*mpty' No Real Self BPD Breakups and Codependent BPD Exes endless "what if's' in the confusion, losing of yourself, the rumination, the cognitive dissonance and the constant "how could he/she do this?" "What did I do wrong?" If only I would/could have had ___________ or done _________ or said ____________ or not done or said ____________ All these 'what if's' when you
Reactive Abuse in BPD Partners and Exes
Reactive Abuse in BPD Partners and Exes is a trauma-informed podcast focused on understanding reactive abuse, emotional dysregulation, and the complex relationship dynamics that can occur with partners or ex-partners affected by borderline personality disorder (BPD) or similar patterns.This podcast wpisode explores how reactive behaviors can develop in emotionally abusive or highly dysregulated re
Misunderstanding BPD Intensity as Love
Misunderstanding BPD Intensity as LoveSo many partners and ex-partners of people with untreated Borderline Personality Disorder mistake the early intensity for love—because it feels overwhelming, consuming, and deeply validating. In this episode, I gently guide you through why Borderline emotional flooding gets misinterpreted as intimacy, connection, or destiny.You’ll learn why intensity is not lo
BPD Hypersexuality Is Self-Soothing And You are The Bandage
BPD Hypersexuality Is Self-Soothing And You are The BandageIn this episode, we explore the misunderstood and often painful dynamic of Borderline hypersexuality—not as “promiscuity,” not as a moral failure, but as an attempt to self-soothe overwhelming internal distress. I walk you through why so many people with BPD turn to sexual intensity to regulate shame, emptiness, terror of abandonment, and
Why BPD Relationships Fail - Repetition Compulsions Projection and Projective Identification
Why BPD Relationships Fail - Repetition Compulsions Projection and Projective IdentificationIn this episode, A.J. Mahari explains how unconscious repetition compulsions, projection, and BPD projective identification keep people with Borderline Personality Disorder trapped in painful relational cycles. You’ll learn how early trauma shapes perception, how partners become stand-ins for abandoning or
Borderline Induced Conversations - When Talking Turns Into Trauma for Codependents
Borderline Induced Conversations - When Talking Turns Into Trauma for CodependentsWhen you try to talk to someone with Borderline Personality Disorder and the conversation suddenly turns emotional, chaotic, or painful — you’re not communicating. You’re in an induced conversation.In this episode, A.J. Mahari explains how Borderlines and Codependents unconsciously pull each other into trauma-based e
Borderline Love a Looping Trap of Deception
Borderline Love a Looping Trap of DeceptionBorderline Love is a looping trap of deception rooted in fantasy, betrayal, false hope, and trauma bonded dynamics of pseudo attachment and the Borderline idealization trap of deception (conscious or unconscious). People with BPD deceive boyfriends and girlfriends, husbands and wives, the favorite person, friends and family members as well as themselves.P
The Invisible Borderline Man Why Women Don't See Him Coming
The Invisible Borderline Man - Why Women Don't See Him ComingThe invisible Borderline man. Why is he so invisible? Are men diagnosed properly enough with BPD - the answer is no. This doesn't help in many cases. Why do so many women fail to recognize the signs of a man with Borderline Personality Disorder until they are already deeply involved? In this episode, I explore The Invisible Borderline Ma
Borderline Man Unmasked
Borderline man unmaskedThe Borderline Man Unmasked. Yes, men have BPD too! It is important that women learn more about the many ways the 'Borderline Man' does differ from women with BPD. There are many overlaps but men with BPD do often endanger women more than most BPD women physically endanger men (though some women with BPD are physically dangerous especially with a weapon).Women need to unlear
The Broken BPD Man Fantasy
The Broken BPD Man FantasyThe Broken BPD Man Fantasy is very real for women. Yes, men have Borderline Personality Disorder too! Countless numbers of women suffer with men with BPD in those trauma bonded relationships. Gay men are also suffering in relationships with men with BPD.This is part one of 3 podcast episode series focusing on Borderline Men for the women who get into dating and relationsh
BPD Love Legacy of Doubt 5 Reasons Why Closure is An Illusion
BPD Love Legacy of Doubt 5 Reasons Closure is An Illusion]BPD Love leaves a legacy of doubt. There are 5 main reasons why closure is an illusion during or after a BPD Breakup, ghos6 and/or discard. People who have been in a relationship or dating someone with BPD desperately want to understand and when necessary find closure. People with BPD (especially untreated) do not do closure. If you continu
Quiet BPD 10 Reasons Why It Dsstroys Relationships
Quiet BPD 10 Reasons It Destroys RelationshipsQuiet BPD 10 reasons it destroys relationships. Often people in a relationship with someone with Quiet BPD, also known as the Discouraged BPD Subtype, it can take quite a while to understand that your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife has Quiet BPD. People with Quiet BPD internalize most, if not all of their splitting, fear of abandonment, push/p
10 Ways BPD Relationship Recycling Increases Your Suffering
10 Ways BPD Relationship Recycling Increases Your Suffering10 ways that BPD relationship recycling actually strengthens your suffering and the trauma/fantast bond hurting you more and activating your nervous system over and over again in ways that are unhealthy, stressful, anxiety-producing and extremely painful. It is so important that people with Codependency recognize why you need the harm redu
BPD Love is a Reverse Fairytale
BPD Love is a Reverse FairyTaleWhat starts like a pseudo BPD relationships fairytale in reverse ends in emotional devastation—and you’re left wondering what happened. In this episode, I explore why relationships with someone with untreated Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and their supposed"Love" feel and are experienced like a reverse fairytale: magical in the beginning, somewhere along the
Enmeshed in a BPD Relatioship? 5 Codependent Hooks Fueling Cycles
Enmeshed in a BPD Relationship? 5 Codependent Hooks Fueling CyclesAre you enmeshed in a BPD relationship? Why can’t you let go—even when it’s hurting you? This Codependency Inside Out, surviving cluster B episode explores the 5 trauma-rooted codependent hooks that keep you psychologically and emotionally enmeshed, fueling the cycles, in a relationship with someone who has Borderline Personality Di
BPD Frustration Intolerance
BPD Frustration IntoleranceBPD Frustration Intolerance explains one of the most confusing, crazy-making, and painful dynamics loved ones face in relationships with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder. In this episode, I unpack why ordinary limits, boundaries, or small disappointments can trigger emotionally explosive reactions, chaos, and betrayal cycles. No matter how any times you tr
7 Reasons Why BPD Relationships Fail
7 Reasons Why BPD Relationships FailWhy do relationships with someone who has untreated Borderline Personality Disorder so often end in heartbreak? In this episode, I share the 7 key reasons why BPD relationships fail — explained with compassion, depth, and clarity. Whether you’re the partner, the ex, or someone living with BPD yourself, you’ll gain insight into the emotional patterns that make lo
BPD Mirror Holds No Internal Reflection You are Unseen
BPD Mirror Holds No Internal Reflection: You are *Unseen* If you’ve ever loved someone with untreated Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and felt like they never truly saw you — this episode explains why. Through the lens of BPD fragmentation, we uncover how their “mirror” doesn’t reflect you at all, but instead the broken, distorted image of a wounding parent from their past. You’ll learn:Why
The BPD Love Paradox
The BPD Love ParadoxWhy does someone with Borderline Personality Disorder crave deep love—only to sabotage and destroy it when it arrives? In this episode of Surviving BPD Relationship Breakup Podcast I explore the heartbreaking paradox at the center of BPD. From BPD self-fulfilling prophecies, the acting out of unconscious BPD repetition compulsions, and defensive splitting to the tragic pattern
The BPD Fantasy Why Codependents Feel Stuck
The BPD Fantasy Why Codependents Are Stuck(From My Codependency Inside Out Surviving Cluster B Podcast)The BPD Fantasy of who you thought they were and then that loss, over and over again, is why Codependents are stuck in the Fantasy and Trauma Bond abandoning self not knowing how to face your own multi-layered pain now. The idea of letting go feels like an imminent ending to who you used to be, w
BPD Fragmented Self Blocks Connection and Communication
BPD Fragmented Self Blocks Connection and CommunicationBPD fragmented self blocks connection and communication. I dive deeply into the core reason a person with (especially untreated) BPD cannot hear you or see you. These are toxic relationships. When you are relating to a person with BPD in any relationship type, there is no "we". No mutuality, no reciprocity. They don't see you or hear you and i
BPD Triggers Explained
BPD Triggers ExplainedBPD Triggers Explained. What do you still need to understand or understand more about people with Borderline Personality and what triggers them and why? Do you still feel like their triggered responses, emotional dysregulation, splitting on you and blaming you for everything means that their triggers are your fault?https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessionshttps://ajmahari.ca/po
Is Codependency Really An Addiction?
Is Codependency Really an Addiction?From my Codependency Surviving Cluster B Relationships PodcastAn often asked, and I think, an often misunderstood question where Codependency is concerned. My answer in this podcast to "Is Codependency Really an addiction" with my 35 years experience working with clients in Codependency recovery is, "yes" and "no" and I think that this approach gives my clients
BPD Ego Syntonic vs Ego Dystonic & BPD Alloplastic Defenses
BPD Ego Syntonic vs Ego Dystonic & BPD Alloplastic DefensesIn BPD people with (especially) untreated BPD have ego syntonic alloplastic defense mechanisms. This leaves so many people who were or are still trying to relate to someone with BPD as a partner, friend, favorite person, etc walking on eggshells and at the same time experiencing crazy-making painful toxic relational dynamics.What does
Borderline Persecutory Object Invisible Partners and Exes
Borderline Persecutory Object - Invisible Partners and ExesBorderline persecutory object, a psychoanalytic concept, within Objects Relations Theory, that explains so much about Borderline Personality Disorder. This is the path to truly understanding the results of BPD splitting, perception, unconscious repetition compulsions re-experiencing and re-enactment in BPD that captures the core of underst
BPD Misinformation Hurts Borderlines and Codependents
BPD Misinformation Hurts Borderlines and CodependentsBPD misinformation hurts people with Borderline Personality and it hurts Codependents and loved ones. There is growing "professional misinformation" about BPD out there, and it doesn't help anybody heal. BPD is not 100% heritable, nothing like that is known at all. BPD is a combination of nature and nurture (lack of nurture). People with BPD can
BPD “Remission” Flawed and False Hope
BPD “Remission” Flawed & False HopeBPD remission is very difficult to define or describe or even rely on apart from a very not helpful base definition of it. BPD remission is not a measurable constant across many, let alone most with BPD in treatment at all.Is BPD remission really a helpful measure for Codependents wanting to keep trying an unhealthy relationship? Does the definition of BPD re
Excusing BPD Behavior is Codependent Externalization
Excusing BPD Behavior is Codependent ExternalizationExcusing BPD behavior is what so many people with Codependency do and it is a function of Codependent Externalization and need for taking more personal responsibility for yourself - not how anyone with BPD treated you terribly. It is important to get into a healing and recovery journey in therapy to break the trauma bond, learn to focus more on y
BPD Sudden Shocking Discard Ex is Alone Now What Can You Do?
BPD Sudden Shocking Discard BPD Ex is All Alone Now What Can You Do?BPD sudden shocking discard is devastating and leaves many an Ex of someone with BPD worried that their Ex wife or Ex husband with Borderline Personality or Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend with BPD may be all alone and what can you do to help them? Why do you still want to help them?https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions https://ajmah
Wanting to Make Amends to a BPD Ex is Codependent
Wanting to Make Amends to a BPD Ex is CodependentBPD Ex wanting to make amends to Borderline is codependent. Whether you are struggling with alcoholism in AA and wanting to make amends or substance abuse program recovery and wanting to make amends or not, just generally want to make amends to a BPD Ex itis highly NOT recommended that you do so. Maybe you feel guilty that you so hurt an Ex with BPD
Does Going No Contact Make Your BPD Ex Think About You?
Does Going No Contact Make Your BPD Ex Think About You?Does going no contact after a BPD breakup, ghosting, or discard, make your Ex with BPD think about you? No contact is not a strategy to manipulate a Borderline. No contact is a serious action BPD Exes need to take as soon as one can to truly be engaging your own healing and to break the trauma bond. No contact is difficult, people often feel g
BPD Abuse Called Out is Denied Deflected BPD Lying
BPD Abuse Called Out is Denied Deflected BPD LyingWhen people with BPD (usually untreated) are called out their abusive behaviour, words, actions, they deny, deflect, and defend. Is this because they have "memory loss" - they don't really know or remember what they did? Even when showed evidence they don't take any personal responsibility - they weaponize it and claim you have victimized them. It'
Wanting a BPD Ex Back The Fantasy Bond & Unanswered Questions
Want a BPD Ex Back? Fantasy Bond & Unanswered QuestionsWant a BPD Ex back? It's the fantasy bond and wanting answers to unanswered questions. Questions that most (especially untreated) with Borderline Personality don't know the answers to. They are too defended, more often than not, to even try to "communicate" with you. The fantasy of getting a BPD Ex back after they ghost you and END a relat
Unknowingly Loving a Borderline Suddenly Ghosted
Unknowingly Loving a Borderline Suddenly GhostedUnknowingly loving a Borderline and suddenly ghosted? Wondering what on earth just happened? Maybe you know now you were loving a Borderline and were suddenly ghosted. It's a terribly traumatic experience knowingly or unknowingly. Many in wanting the BPD Ex back relationship recycle and may have been ghosted multiple times.Everyone wants the Borderli
BPD On/Off Relationship Can You Change To Make It Work?
BPD On/Off Relationship Can You Change To Make It Work?In a BPD on/off relationship? Are you wondering, can I change, like heal some Codependency, and have more energy and tolerance to make a BPD relationshipwork?Have you been ghosted and so want your BPD Ex back? Maybe you've beendiscarded, and you are emotionally terrified that you won't hear from that person ever again? What can you do to chang
BPD Disconnectedness and Inability To Relate
Borderline Disconnectedness and Inability To RelateAs a BPD survivor, I recovered almost 40 years ago, I explain the deep and extremely pervasive abyss of Borderline Personality and the profound disconnectedness that drives all aspects of Borderline behaviour (abuse) and inability to relate in healthy, consistent, or congruent, even remotely healthy ways in relationships. https://ajmahari.ca/sessi
Want BPD Ex Back and Holding Out Hope?
Want BPD Ex Back Holding Out Hope?Are you holding out hope that you can get your BPD Ex back? Like so many people, most with Codependence, many Ex's of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, continue to give so much power and control of their lives, and selves to a person with BPD. If you really believe that you need to contact your BPD Ex because if they respond angrily or in further deval
BPD Emotional Arrested Development & Object Other Relating
BPD Arrested Emotional Development and Object Other RelatingBPD arrested emotional development and Object Other Relating. For more people than not with Borderline Personality (male and female) their early childhood emotional development arrests by or before the age of 2 years. People with BPD and/or all the patterns of BPD were not able in childhood to go through the crucial stages of early childh
Lost Yourself To A Borderline?
Lost Yourself To A Borderline?Have you lost yourself to Borderline? A partner, Ex partner, girlfriend or boyfriend, or person close to you with Borderline Personality Disorder? Are you aware of Codependency? Are you learning any helpful lessons?One man blames God, calling him a "farce" after a relationship with a woman, who "trapped him into her getting pregnant" and now thinks the "farce relation
BPD Idealization Phase Causes Fantasy Bonding
BPD Idealization Phase Causes Fantasy BondingBPD idealization in the beginning of a significant other relationshipcreates a fantasy bond. People with BPD, not having any stable senseof self, are intense and want (often) immediate "relationship on". Afterthe person with BPD splits you to a major devaluation, you will not everbe able to be re-idealized.People with Codependency (often unaware of this
Borderline Betrayal Its Insidious Impact on You
Borderline Betrayal and Its Insidious Impact on YouBorderline betrayal and its negative, painful impact on you.Anyone close to any person with BPD will experience BorderlineBetrayal and the very real consequences to "self" that result fromBPD betrayal. People with Codependency have a suggestible enough core woundthat the impact of Borderline betrayal causes untold damage,rumination, cognitive diss
BPD Awareness Can't Save Relationships
BPD Awareness Can't Save RelationshipsBPD awareness can't save relationships and doesn't mean changed behaviour (spelling Canadian now :) When a person with BPD hasintellectual awareness and can even talk about things at times, too many partners get fooled. Why fooled? Because too many people think that BPD awareness means "they get it" they can change. But emotionally, they don't get it. Whenever
BPD Stable Before Relationship Rupture? Was My Ex Like Sherri Papini?
BPD Stable Before Relationship Rupture? Was My Ex Like Sherri Papini?A commenter asks how could my BPD Ex be fine in a relationship for 4 years and suddenly be so unstable? Is a person with BPD stable in a relationship until they aren't? A BPD Ex compares his ex to Sherri Papini - any similarity to a thought to be "stable" partner who then suddenly shows how unstable they are? Does the length of a
Borderlines Are Not Relationship Worthy
Borderlines Are Not Relationship WorthyBorderlines are not relationship worthy. They lack a self, have no object constancy and have relational and communication deficits. People with BPD feel very unworthy. They struggle without a known "self" to have any positive regard for "self" or "other". People with BPD often really don't like themselves and this is projected out on to anyone that gets close
BPD Breakup Ghost or Discard Is Not Your Fault
BPD Breakup Ghost or Discard Is Not Your FaultBPD breakup, ghosting, or discard is not your fault. People with suspected BPD, diagnosed BPD untreated (or not fully treated) can't stop the ghosting or discards and neither can you. People with BPD often feel out of control in relationships and people with Codependency try to help, rescue, fic and change them. They need years of therapy that they wou
BPD Relationship Rollercoaster Causes Codependent Rumination Need For Closure
BPD Relationship Rollercoaster Causes Codependent Rumination Need For Closure Blocking RecoveryBPD relationship rollercoaster causes Codependent rumination and need for closure to be so strong that this becomes a major block to breaking the fantasy bond with a Borderline Ex and people healing from the relationship and from Codependency. Each and every Borderline episode that leads to splitting to
Borderline Projection Through an Eternal Victim Lens
Borderline Projection Through an Eternal Victim LensBorderline Projection onto friends, partners, Ex's, etc comes from his or her eternal victim lens and persona. The false self exists to protect the victimized borderline lose self. There is no excuse for BPD abuse because a high percentage of them were SA's in childhood, not given love, not taught any coping skills. These childhoods are often tra
Two Codependents in Relationship After Previous Cluster B Relationships & Counter-Dependency
Two Codependents in Relationship After Previous Cluster B Relationships & Counter-DependencyThis is Epidsode 9 From my Codependency Surviving Cluster B Relationships PodcastCan two people both be Codependent in a relationship years after each had a BPD or NPD relationship with an Ex? A commenter asked if two people can be Codependent in a relationship with each other and can both manifest code
Borderlines Mixed Signals & Codependent Fantasy Bond Cycles
Borderline Mixed Signals & Codependent Fantasy Bond CyclesBorderline’s mixed signals and Codependent fantasy bonds. Borderlines in relationships give endless mixed signals like telling you how much they love after traumatizing behaviour or while still ghosting you, or after having ghosted or even for years discarded you. Saying in Hoovers, they love you, they need to figure out how to let you
Borderlines Tattoos and Piercings Why pw BPD Get More Than Average
Borderlines Tattoos and Piercings - Why pw/BPD Get More Than AverageBorderlines Tattoos and Piercings - why people with BPD get more tattoos and/or piercings than non-Borderlines. A commenter (on Youtube) asked if a woman has an excessive amount of tattoos, could this be a dating red flag that she has BPD. I answer this question about Borderlines and tattoos and explain why people with BPD do, in
BPD Relationship Ruptures Are All Relationships Just Hard Work?
BPD Relationship Ruptures Are All Relationships Just Hard Work?BPD relational ruptures and an answer to a Codependent commentor's question are BPD and all relationships just hard work wherein I explain the differences between BPD relationships and healthy relationships. I also answer the question, "How can you tell if it's the person with BPD or yourself as a Codependent?" In other words, is it my
10 Ways To Help A Borderline - Fact or Myth
10 Ways To Help A Borderline - Fact or Myth10 ways to help a Borderline are they fact or myth? I created a list of 10 ways to help a Borderline based on several different professional sources. As to whether these ways to help a person with BPD are helpful or harmful for you - fact or myth, I explain in this podcast why any loved one, Codependent person, loving a Borderline, will only make everythi
Borderlines Having Children - The Heartbreak of BPD Ex Loss or Co-Parenting
Borderlines Having Children - The Heartbreak of BPD Ex Loss or Co-ParentingBorderlines having children wound them (more often than not) and the heartbreak of BPD Ex's loss or Co-Parenting. Whether the Borderline Parent is the mother or the father, each will wound his or her children. A commenter lost his child to a borderline's lack of care. Co-parenting with a male or female with BPD is for most
Borderlines Don't Make You Sacrifice Yourself
Borderlines Don't Make You Sacrifice YourselfBorderlines (or a BPD/NPD person) doesn't make you sacrfice yourselves as Codependents. A.J. Mahari adds in her experience on breaking free from her BPD/NPD Ex. Do you blame your BPD or BPD/NPD Ex for everything? What you need to know about your own personal responsibility that is necessary for healing change. You are not to blame for what a BPD or BPD/
BPD Triggers Explained & Why They Are So Crazy-Making
BPD Triggers Explained & Why They Are So Crazy-MakingBPD triggers are explained and why they are so crazy-making. What you really need to know about BPD triggers that so many don't realize. What is the core of impossibility with BPD triggers? Why are BPD triggers central to endless lack of taking personal responsibility or accountability that is so crazy-making? BPD triggers are affecting you
What is BPD Transient Paranoid Ideation?
What Is BPD Transient Paranoid Ideation?What is Borderline Transient Paranoid Ideation? What does it mean? How can does it manifest for people with BPD and how can you recognize it and understand its scope and effect on you? Why does this trait (number 9) along with how it drives BPD splits to devaluation cause so many BPD Breakups and so much heartbreak for people who loves someone with Borderlin
Borderlines Just Aren't That Into You The Emptiness of Idealization
Borderlines Just Aren't That In To You & The Emptiness of BPD IdealizationBorderlines just aren't that in to you, Codependents. The incredible emptiness of BPD idealization takes a long time to understand because it felt so great and felt and was too good to be true. BPD idealization just as BPD devaluation isn't about YOU. It's about who you represent unconsciously to un-treated person with B
You Can't Give Borderlines What They Need They Don't Want It From You Anyway
You Can't Give Borderlines What They Need They Don't Want It From You AnywayCodependents can't give your Borderline what he or she needs. People with BPD really don't want what they need from you anyway. It's a lose-lose situationship. People with Codependency can't help a partner, or any loved one with BPD, you lost yourself trying, you don't get your needs met. And you can't satiate a person wit
BPD Devaluation Introjected Now Is Codependents' Responsibility To Stop Internal Re Wounding
BPD Devaluation Introjected Codependent Responsibility Stop Internal Re-woundingBPD devaluation and damage is introjected by Codependents. People with Codependency have a responsibility to stop internally re-wounding themselves internally. People with BPD damage people with Codependency who try to love them. Once you know what is happening, or what happened it is your responsibility to get into th
BPD Discard Codependent Fantasy Pissing Into The Wind of Cognitive Dissonance
BPD Discard Codependent Fantasy Pissing Into The Wind of Cognitive DissonanceBPD discards (final or not when unknown) fuel codependent fantasy and leave people with Codependency essentially pissing into the wind - as if that would be any reality of "taking a shower". These relationships ruptures often ending over and over again, also can be likened to the title of Judge Judy's book, "Don't Pee on
BPD NPD Who is The Person Behind The Idealization & Love Bombing?
BPD NPD Who is The Person Behind The Idealization & Love Bombing?So many people who have been in a relationship with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD with Co-Morbid Narcissistic Personality Disorder are caught in a trauma bond ruminating and trying to figure out who is the person behind the idealization and love bombing when there isn't a "real person" inside at all, only a
BPD Breakup or Discard Identify Your Codependent Part of The Dynamic To Heal
BPD Breakup or Discard Identify Your Codependent Part of The Dynamic To HealBPD Breakup or discard is so painful and so confusing for so many peoplewho have, but may not realize it, Codependency. Getting into therapy and going no contact is the way to identify your codependent part in the dynamicand to heal. Choose to no longer stay stuck in excessive obsessive focus onthe Borderline and what they
Quiet Borderline Inner Persecution and Codependent Reactionary Projection
Quiet Borderline Inner Persecution and Codependent Reactionary ProjectionPeople who are Quiet Borderlines, the Discouraged sub-type of BPD, when triggered have a fawn/freeze response. They withdraw. You can't pull words out of them. Theydon't hear you. They may take space, or ghost you in a patterned way, and you don'tget it. You are trying to understand what the quiet borderline is doing. Many wi
Borderline Groundhog Day Repetition Compulsions Understanding Codependent Fantasy
Borderline Groundhog Day Repetition & Codependent Fantasy Borderline Groundhog Day repetition compulsions are pretty much every day (untreated) and people with Codependency are still trying to change the Fantasy Bond. People with Codependency end up in the fantasy while (untreated) people with BPD live each day or most days as yet another groundhog day of their own unconscious repetition compu
BPD Relationship or Breakup Are You Codependent or Just Care Too Much?
BPD Relationship or Breakup - Are you a Codependent or Do You Just Care Too Much?An inauthentic Youtuber who prior to March 2024 had 63,000 subscribers and now has bought her way up to 150+ subscribers, and counting, did one of her usual fluff so called "deep dive" into this silly title, "Are you a Codependent or Do You Just Care Too Much?"In my alternative for those who find it and will benefit
Am I a Codependent in a Heartbreaking Cycle Of a Bpd Relationship or Breakup?
Am I a Codependent in a Heartbreaking Cycle Of a Bpd Relationship or Breakup?Am I a Codependent, are you a Codependent in a heartbreaking cycle of a BPD relationship and Breakup - ghosted, discarded, had to end it yourself? In a BPD Relationship, recycling a BPD Relationship, or have you been ghosted or discarded - are you new to or still suffering from a BPD Breakup? Are you still unsure how to a
BPD Relationship Dynamics - Codependents Not Taking It Fighting Back
BPD Relationship Dynamics Codependents Staying But Not Taking It and Fighting BackBPD relationships dynamics with codependents who are staying in the relationship "not taking it" and are fighting back thinking that this isn't codependent and that somehow it means you are not still getting very hurt and negatively impacted by all that people with BPD do that wounds those closest to them. What does
Empower Someone With BPD To End Unhealthy Life Choices Claims An Inauthentic Youtuber
Empower Someone With BPD To End Unhealthy Life Choices Claims An Inauthentic YoutuberI keep it real to help you heal!An inauthentic subscriber purchasing Youtuber misinforms in the worst way possible by blamingpeople with Codependency as if you need to be "perfect" before you try to have all those "conversations" with someone in your life with BPD or else the borderline will just blame you.People
Break The Betrayal Bond BPD or NPD Ex Adult Child & Codependency
Break The Betrayal Bond BPD or NPD Ex or Adult Child & CodependencyPeople who have been in a relationship with a person with Borderline Personality or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and those who may also have a BPD or NPD parent need to recognize their woundedness from childhood to be able to heal Codependency. You cannot break a betrayal or fantasy bond with a BPD Ex, NPD Ex and/or BPD o
Stop The Cycle of Bpd's Using You As An Atm and a Vending Machine
Stop The Cycle of Bpd's Using You As An Atm and a Vending Machine In Relationship RecyclingAre you someone still in a relationship or in the on/off BPD Breakup relationship recycling with a person with (especially untreated) BPD? You are likely someone with Codependency. Codependents - BPD Ex's or partners and Ex-on/off partners of Borderlines are BPD ATM & vending machines on empty as each cy
Losing Yourself Trying To Nurture and Aid a Borderline?
Losing Yourself Trying to Nurture and Aid a Borderline?In a response to a Codependent commenter on a video I did about Borderlines Lying and manipulation whether it is on purpose, calcuulated or not - it is what it is, this person who left a semi=hostile but Codependent denying comment thought that it shouldbe possible for partners, Ex's or friends of someone with BPD to nurture them and aidthem a
BPD Quiet Discouraged Subtype Specific Traits and Shocking Discards
BPD Quiet Discouraged Subtype Specific Traits and Shocking DiscardsThe quiet Borderline subtype known and described as the Discouraged Borderline. A look at this presentation and manifestation of Borderline Personality Disorder.The specific Quiet BPD subtype traits are discussed as well as the reasons why a Discouraged Borderline's shocking discard is one of the most painful relationship endings.
Salacious BPD Women Are Not Dreams They are Relationship Nightmares
Salacious BPD Women Are Not Dreams But Relationship NightmaresEvery person with Borderline Personality, their lives matter and are worth living. But in response to an objectified erroneous and pathological veneration of Borderline Women that goes way too far via his perspective as a malignant narcissist. Some of his video "Borderline's Life is Worth Living Technicolor Adventure" is in some aspects
BPD Breakup Obsession & Codependent Excuses Waiting to Be Rescued by Who?
BPD Breakup Obsession & Codependent Excuses Waiting to Be Rescued By Who?Please note: At two points in this (passionate) episode I mention being very fed up with many of the excuses like the commenter I respond to in this episode. I am referring to being fed up withpeople on social media, denying their Codependency and making excuses - I am very patient andnot ever fed up at all with working w
Borderlines Can’t Find Love Or Love You From Your Perspective
Borderlines Can’t Find Love Or Love You From Your Perspective - Borderlines Don't Take Your Identity or Self or Mental Image and then find love from that perspectiveBorderlines can't find love or feel love for you from your perspective, or mental image or somehow by "taking" your identity or self from you to see your perspective at all. Too many people with Codependency believe this because you re
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