TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live
TBTL is a daily show hosted by two longtime friends goofing their way through the world the best they can. Join Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh as they cover the most important topics of the day, from 25 year-old film reviews to whether or not Andrew's neighbors are secretly using his garbage bins.
Episodes
#4798 Let's Go Budden
Luke and Andrew review Forbes' top twenty list of the highest paid podcasters. They are not on the list. Yet.
#4797 Dereliction Of Doody
TBTL Friendo Phyllis "P-Fletch" Fletcher joins the show to talk sandwiches, invasive medical procedures, and Andrew's secret desire to have a pedicure in an underground location. Plus, listener Carolyn sends in some TBTL archival tape that ended up being quite prescient, and Andrew proves to be the hero that he's always considered himself to be.
#4796 Hot-Button Tissue
Luke and Andrew discuss their dislike of people using foul language in text, only to edit themselves with asterisks. They also hear from listeners who want to weigh-in on Andrew's tissue issue. And Luke receives a TBTL pitch that's just too good to ignore.
#4795 I'll Have A Dangerwhich With A Nutbar Chaser, Please
Luke and Andrew share some seasonal recipes before turning to a special, listener-generated Skyjinx segment. One listener needs advice after an airlines jerked them around, while another has a story that has Luke and Andrew on the edge of their seats.
#4794 THE RELAXATION SUPERSTORE!
Luke rushes into the studio after dealing with a appliance emergency that could have been so, so bad had he caught it any later. Plus, Andrew shows off all the special incense he just got in the mail. And a special TBTL Friendo is featured in a long-awaited edition of What's In The Box?
#4793 All About That Treble
Luke and Andrew run some Google experiments after Andrew received an alarming search result regarding hamburgers. Also, Andrew still can't seem to maintain a successful relationship with a phone scammer, no matter how hard he tries. Image by crazy-fae via Diviant Art
#4792 Dirty Rotten Sound-drels
Genevieve joins the show to discuss her undying love of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and why she feels the world deserved a sequel. She and Andrew also try their hand at a "Sounds of Seattle" quiz created by a TBTL listener famous for his audio work.
#4791 Cardio-Asscular Technology
Luke and Andrew discuss two amazing pieces of modern technology: A batting cage computer that lets you virtually face any MLB pitcher, and a toilet seat that can tell you if you're at risk of a heart attack. Andrew only wants one of these things.
#4790 We Need 9 CCs of Confidence, Stat!
Luke and Andrew watch an umpire age in almost-real time with some help from the geniuses at Jomboy media. Plus, a listener email prompts Luke to go toe-to-toe with a professional Dr. Seuss narrator to see who does it better.
#4789 Big Getz
Luke and Andrew stumble on a mystery regarding TBTL and Luke's old NPR show, The Bryan Park Project. And speaking of Bryant Park coincidences, they have a very apropos edition of "What's In The Box?!" to share.
#4788 I'll Never Be Your Beast Of Bernie
Luke has a shirtless encounter with a door-to-door salesman while Andrew develops a fast-moving relationship with a telephone scammer named Luna. They also discuss Russell Wilson and Tony Romo's respective futures in the broadcast booth.
#4787 Jangin' With Mr. Jooper
Luke and Andrew discuss some funny shenanigans going on in major league baseball lately, including a pitcher who leaps and laughs with the best of them. Plus, Luke pits Andrew against Ben Affleck in a battle over turkey names. And a community theater production is cancelled after a surprising culprit starts sending in fake threats.
#4786 Schrodinger That Cat!
Luke's night at a humble political fundraiser lifted his spirits. He and Andrew also discuss last night's debut of Hard Knocks, which did not disappoint in the cringy pun category. And Andrew learns that his dog, Lucy, has something common with Luke, and that might prove to be a problem.
#4785 From A To Zwan
It's election day in Washington State, and Andrew has a very unusual connection to one of the candidates. But does that mean he should vote for him? Plus, Luke is excited about the debut of HBO's Hard Knocks tonight, which features the Seahawks this season. They also try to get to the bottom of a This American Life rumor that Andrew has been spreading for decades.
#4784 The French And The Furious
Luke made a promise to himself while mowing the lawn this weekend that he immediately broke…and it came along with some property damage. He and Andrew also discuss modern vacuum technology, baseball pedantry, the price of chicken on North Aurora, and the unfortunate state of baseball in 2026.
#4783 Jimothee, Tanathee, Laudrathee
Luke "opened the doors of perception" last night just long enough to appreciate the brilliance of the Roku screen saver. Meanwhile, Andrew made a phone call that might have gotten someone in really big trouble, and he doesn't know how to feel about it. They also discuss the Internet's obsession with some "canoodling lawyers" and Tim Robbin's unfortunate appearance on Joe Rogan's podcast.
#4782 Grand Theft Memory
Andrew is obsessed with the fact that a law enforcement conference is at the heart of the biggest news story in Seattle this morning, for obvious reasons. He and Luke also sing as much of the Diane Warren song catalog as they can remember. And they discuss the bizarre update on a 7-year old story involving eBay targeting a couple of independent journalists with macabre deliveries.
#4781 Bronze Age? More Like LeBron's Age!
Luke and Andrew visit an arcade supply store website and put together a wish list that includes pop-a-shot basketballs, mini footballs, and something called "Pop It For Gold Extreme." They also celebrate the Mariners' very unlikely win over the Dodgers yesterday, and they hear from Tens of listeners who are joining the Odyssey Discourse.
#4780 Family Time / Funky Bunch Time
A movie shoot involving Emma Stone at Citi Field forced baseball players to change their uniforms, which somehow prompts Luke and Andrew to closely examine Mark Wahlberg's (alleged) daily schedule, which involves long breaks for snacking and very short breaks for golf. Plus, a story about a "beloved pizza chain" in an actual newspaper has "bunk journalism" written all over it.
#4779 Lounging Towards Gomorrah
Luke finds himself at the losing end of a John Oliver joke on Last Week Tonight and feels the need to defend himself. Plus, Andrew feels a bit vindicated regarding one of his Movie Theater Hot Takes. And Luke and Andrew try to stay focussed since they're also releasing today's show as the first episode of TBTL TV.
#4778 This Isn't Just My Usual Apathy Towards Your Commentary
Luke joins the show from Las Vegas, where he found himself on the edge of his seat talking to a former mobster. Meanwhile, Andrew is excited to see his "studio dog" dreams come true.
#4777 Class Act
A mixup at the airport leads to some interpersonal drama for Luke. Plus, Andrew realizes something that happened to him last week may have changed him forever.
#4776 Zero Dark Mommy
Luke and Andrew discuss the new Odyssey movie, which Andrew is excited to see this weekend, though he's confused why it's a target of conservative ire. They also discuss Luke's lost pen and the undercurrents it represents, and they list notable Kent State graduates and famous men named Dave.
#4775 Move Over, Rover, And Let Jimothy Take Over
Luke and Andrew are back at their respective studios, where they're looking back fondly at an action packed week filled with baseball games, bar tabs, secret sausages and, of course, leaping frogs. Plus, a listener has another good Dave Story, and Luke and Andrew have competing views on some Kalshi news.
#4774 Alright, Let's Lose!
Luke, Andrew, and Jon check-in from the Valley City Frog Jump competition, where they gently encourage their frog, Dave, to make them proud. Plus, Andrew learns some shocking information about his childhood from an old grade school classmate.
#4773 A Date With Deskiny
Luke, Jon and Andrew wrap up their TBTL-a-Thon week in Valley City, Ohio, with a call-in topic that Andrew and the listeners do *not* approve of. They also discuss the latest details on the cyclosporiasis outbreak, now that officials have figured out the source of it. And they make their final plans for the big Frog Jump on Sunday.
#4772 Is Hot Dog A Soup?
Luke, Jon and Andrew continue their broadcast week from Andrew's old elementary school in Valley City, Ohio, where Andrew says he's DONE with Wordle after his experience with yesterday's puzzle. They also discuss the all-soup restaurant near their AirBNB in Ohio City. And they take calls from listeners who share their stories about the Daves they know.
#4771 Is There A Mrs. Dave?
Luke, Jon and Andrew check-in after spending the night at a frog pond, searching for their champion. They also hear stories from callers about small animals they've adopted over the years. And Luke has been taking some notes about life in Ohio City, where they are all staying.
#4770 Habeas Boxus
The TBTL-a-Thon continues from Valley City, Ohio, where Andrew has a disturbing update on his lost package of recording equipment and Luke is worried about the salad he ate last night, given the outbreak of a diarrhea-causing parasite in these parts. They also take calls from listeners, including one who has a story about love and Pizza Hut.
#4769 Jumpin' For Joy In Valley City!
Luke, Andrew, and Jon kick off this year's TBTL-a-Thon from Andrew's old elementary school in Valley City, Ohio, where Andrew is losing his MIND with nostalgia. They also provide an update on the box of audio equipment that disappeared in the US Postal System, and Luke is excited about a giant, steam-powered train that should be rolling through town any minute now…
#4768 Beta Mail
On the eve of the big TBTL-a-Thon, Andrew is worried about all the broadcast equipment he shipped to Ohio that now seems to be lost in the mail. Plus, Jon offers some more potential frog names submitted by listeners. And Luke is wondering about the proper footwear when trudging through marshes (or golf courses) looking for frogs.
#4767 Andrew Wants More Poundage
Luke and Andrew discuss Pizza Hut's attempts to relive the past and attract nostalgic customers. Plus, Luke's newest boat was delivered yesterday, and he used it to find his long lost cows.
#4766 Don't Put Old Boats On New Trailers
Andrew forces Luke to talk about something he's not sure he wants to talk about. It involves a special delivery to his home later this afternoon. It might be nautical in nature. Plus, Luke is feeling very happy about a home project he completed yesterday, and the stumbling blocks he overcame in the process. And Maggie From The Middleshelf weighs-in on Moonlighting, both the TV show and the song.
#4765 All The Double News You Can Double Use
Luke is bummed about the way the US Men's World Cup journey ended, and about the way people talk about CBS News and The Washington Post. Andrew is excited to see that TBTL's small town media blitz is bringing in new listeners. And they're both blown away by the origins of Tim Gunn's famous "monkey house" phrase, as well as a Mike Tyson interview with a student journalist.
#4764 Old School
Luke and Andrew are getting ready for the TBTL-a-Thon in Valley City, which is only ONE WEEK away! Plus, Luke has an update on his neighbor relations after finally getting his field grass mowed before the Fourth of July fireworks. And Luke is feeling very conflicted about tonight's World Cup match now that Donald Trump got involved to overturn a red card.
#4763 Jort Circuit
Luke, Jon and Andrew kick-off the holiday weekend by announcing this year's plans for a virtual TBTL party during the upcoming 'Thon. They also go over some newly suggested names for their soon-to-be pet frog. And they revisit the alternative concerts (and alternative legwear) of their youth.
#4762 A Reverse Where's Waldo
A dark question from a teenager somehow leads to a conversation about Luke and Andrew's respective showering routines. They also discuss the State Of Mickey Rourke (it is not strong) and the perfect salad bowl for mice.
#4761 Two Simons And A Tsongas
Luke and Andrew discuss what they've been watching lately; Luke's pick is a new, edge-of-your-seat docu-series, while Andrew's is…less current. They also review old Seattle TV listings to see what was airing on July 31, 1987. And Luke realizes that when you point one "bunk journalism" finger at someone, you're pointing three "bunk journalism" fingers back at yourself.
#4760 That's Oystertainment!
Luke and Andrew revisit some of their cringier moments in the public eye and unearth memories of an eating competition Luke wishes he could forget. Plus, NPR accidentally pre-publishes a Justice Alito retirement story. And a pilot calls in to answer some of TBTL's questions about airline announcements.
#4759 Gigi Louise!
Luke had QUITE the adventure with the dogs he's petsitting this weekend. One of them ended up on the roof? Plus, the New York Times realizes something that hard-core Wordlers have known for years -- that playing on "hard" mode isn't actually more difficult. And David From The Basement calls.
#4758 The Erling Bird Gets The Worm
TBTL listener and volunteer frog watcher Simeon joins Luke, Andrew and Jon to help identify frog songs and pick the best contender for the upcoming Valley City Frog Jump. Plus, Luke is very nervous about the US soccer team's next match. And Jon reminds Andrew of one of the weirder DC comic book characters.
#4757 Burt So Good
Luke is trying to navigate a delicate situation with one of his neighbors, and Andrew is NOT helping. Plus, a listener unearths the infamous audio of Burt Reynolds reading Moby Dick, and it lives up to its baffling reputation. And Luke finally unleashes his two Subway Takes-esque opinions into the world. But is the wo rld ready?
#4756 Every Which Way But Bruce
Andrew attempted to limp his broken car to the mechanic this morning, and recorded himself doing it. He and Luke also discuss the ethics of choosing aging actor photos for IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes. They also re-examine their feelings about two major Bruce Willis projects from the height of his popularity. And Andrew's first visit to a public dog park left him with lots of feelings.
#4755 Tomtom Club
Andrew is going on a cross-town adventure tomorrow that may leave him crying by the side of the road. Luke is continuing to have a grand old time dog sitting his new best friends. Andrew is proud of himself for not going full "Dr. Rick" in the grocery store, although his claims of restraint quickly fall apart upon further inspection.
#4754 The School Of Soft Knocks
Luke has found himself pet-sitting not one but TWO poodles this week, and he's loving it! He and Andrew also discuss their fondness for physical magazines, some of which cost $15 an issue these days? And Luke accidentally notices how much he's been paying for his New Yorkers for the past several years.
#4753 A Momentary Lapse In Dread
Jon swings by to review some of the names submitted by listeners that could be used for their pet frog while they're in Valley City next month. Plus, Luke has mixed feelings about the way he greeted Chuck Schumer yesterday. And Andrew is excited to head into the heart of chaos this afternoon as the USA World Cup match and a big Mariners game come together in Seattle.
#4752 If You See Saw, Say Saw
Andrew is beyond excited about the new pole saw he just bought. Luke is seeing hope and love on the streets and in the soccer fields of New York City. And a guy named Guy found Alice Cooper's credit card stuck in a gas station pump and successfully returned it.
#4751 You Better Chex Yourself
Luke and Andrew discuss the new Burger King commercial that makes Andrew feel bad for liking Burger King. Plus, Luke had a really nice time connecting visiting some old colleagues yesterday, but was also reminded of the bureaucracy that often comes along with public radio. And Andrew reminisces about the first satirical newspaper he fell in love with.
#4750 A Watched Otter Pop Never Freezes
Andrew's attempts to get Luke to appreciate the cookies of their youth fall short. Plus, Luke is headed to New York to hang with some old American Public Media friends. And a promise of free money ends up falling through for Andrew.
#4749 A Little On The Hose
Luke and Andrew's minds are blown by an email from a listener revealing another layer of coincidence regarding a bad joke told on TBTL. On a related note, Luke's interview with Keith Urban was cancelled over journalistic boundaries this weekend. And speaking of journalism, Andrew's reading a book that's making him question the legacy of American newspapers.
#4748 All Bad Ideas
Luke, Andrew and Jon announce the details of this year's TBTL-a-Thon, which is just around the corner! Plus, lifelong Knicks fans Andrew and Luke ask Jon how he's feeling ahead of game 5 of the NBA finals this weekend. And Luke has a huge revelation about a joke *someone* told during his visit to Office Hours Live yesterday.
#4747 Big Rollerblade Energy
Luke had a fantastic time on the set of Office Hours Live yesterday, and even made an appearance on the show. Plus, Andrew is surprised how everyone -- including non-basketball watchers like himself and Genevieve -- seem to be swept up in the NBA finals. And they try to set the record straight on Dirty Dancing, Flashdance, Footloose, and Fievel Goes West.
#4746 Noise Cancelling Ears
Luke is excited to watch Tim Heidecker live stream his podcast today. He and Andrew also break their silence on the Scooter Libby scandal of 2003. And they check the TBTL voicemail line, where listeners have stories of found money, Mission: Impossible easter eggs, and Russian HVAC.
#4745 Liev Me Alone
Luke and Andrew dig into the latest conspiracy theory surrounding Guy Fieri. Is it possible that he's never actually swallowed food on television? They also discuss their feelings about the upcoming season of Hard Knocks, which will feature the Seattle Seahawks, and why Andrew doesn't want to get a pneumonia shot in the back of his grocery store.
#4744 If You Don't Stand For Subway, You Stand For No Way
There's much, much kismet in today's podcast, as Luke and Andrew's conversations about sandwiches and podcasting are echoed by the listeners. Plus, the Osbourne family plans to resurrect Ozzy using A.I. and "digital DNA", and Luke wants to sunset a slang phrase that he's heard enough of.
#4743 You Just Can't Win With Snorting Things
Luke had an uplifting interaction with his neighbor this morning. Meanwhile, Andrew's hunt for some misplaced office supplies offers a deeper look into his problematic personality. They also discuss the young baseball umpire who went viral with his mature handling of a tough situation with an adult coach. And they find out what happens when a comedian just tells the same joke over and over and ove
#4742 You Might Be A Hobbit If...
Luke had some uncomfortable experiences during his rideshares in Houston this week. Andrew is getting ready for a two-hour trek to see his doctor in his new East Side offices. They relive the drama around Reggie Jackson and Spike Lee, now that the Knicks are back in the playoffs. And they get the details about a man who calls himself "Roy Donk" as he slings baklava and merch around NYC. Photo: "G
#4741 Flyer Like An Eagle
A piece of mail on Andrew's desk leads to a story about Luke's relationship with his local Eagles Aerie. A piece of music submitted by a Dazzling Donor leads to a confession about TBTL's ongoing Spotify issues. And a lost cat in Andrew's neighborhood leads to a fascinating tale of pets gone wild in Bellingham.
#4740 A Touch Of Glass
Luke and Andrew discover that they both share the same irrational fear regarding glassware. They also reconsider Nick Nolte's famous mugshot photo in a new light…and learn that it wasn't actually a mugshot photo at all. And they hear a very tender voicemail from a listener paying tribute to her pooch.
#4739 No More Mr. Ice Guy
Luke was recognized then un-recognized at the CrimeCon he visited this weekend. Andrew created his own weather system in his car on Saturday night. They also discuss the rich world of hotel ice buckets and mini-fridges.
#4738 The Rule Of Trees
Andrew unearthed a couple of messages on the TBTL voicemail line that took his breath away. He and Luke also discuss an amazing coincidence that they accidentally stumbled into regarding a popular 90s film. And a Dazzling Donor message takes them on an absolute emotional rollercoaster of tree-related content.
#4737 Steal Wheels
Luke had an incredible time at an incredible Jr. Sluggers game yesterday, as TBTL's little leaguers wrapped up their season. Plus, Andrew helps Luke solve an audio-related mystery, and the Dodgers organization is considering stopping its "bat dog" program after a player got injured stepping over a pooch.
#4736 Twisted Mister
A huge industrial accident in Southern Washington has shaken the community that Luke lives in. He and Andrew also discuss the so-called "Steroid Olympics", which have been described accurately as an "abject failure." And a listener shares a Twisted Tea-inspired memory from the days of the pandemic.
#4735 Good Charlatan
Genevieve joins Luke and Andrew to explain why she's in trouble with the law AGAIN, and how she might get out of it. Plus, Luke's wondering if his neighbor is mowing the lawn too early in the morning. And Erik from Sweden offers a captivating tale of murder, literature, and coincidence.
#4734 The Florida School For Unpayable Student Loan Debt And Interpretive Scarf Dancing
Luke and Andrew talk about Stephen Colbert's return to television -- this time, cable access television in Monroe, MI. And they get a very inspiring update about the TBTL Junior Sluggers!
#4733 The Perfectly Worst Person
Luke and Andrew discuss the final broadcast of the Late Show with Stephen Colbert and the end of an era in culture and broadcasting. They talk about a ruling that bans the ubiquitous "Kars 4 Kids" commercial in California. And a listener writes in with a confession about her Facebook Marketplace behavior.
#4732 This American Airlines
The TBTL Junior Sluggers have completed their regular season, and we get a recap of their last few games before they head into the playoffs. Plus, Luke had to make a tough decision on his flight out to Chicago.
#4731 I Hate It When You Call Me Big Poppa
Andrew had a truly disgusting experience while walking his dog yesterday, and it might have changed his entire worldview. But probably not. Meanwhile, Luke got to see the inside workings of a truly successful podcast yesterday, and it's making him question his own life decisions. And they discuss the Nebraska bar that can't call itself "The Barbershop" anymore because of a very annoying (and disin
#4730 Jafar And Away
Luke had a mustard-related encounter on his flight to LA that is straight out of the Curb Your Enthusiasm playbook. He also accidentally forgot to bring his computer on this work trip, but he found a "Life Hacket Buddy" to keep the show on the air.
#4729 A Real Nose Breather
Luke learned a new breathing technique over the weekend that sent him down an unexpected shame spiral. Meanwhile, Andrew is realizing one of the most difficult things about having a puppy is learning how to talk to other people. And Luke's unprecedented enthusiasm for a workplace training ends up being unrewarded.
#4728 American Band Saw
Luke admits to a regrettable phone conversation he had recently regarding air travel. Meanwhile, Andrew gets breaking news on the show about another mysterious moving violation issued against his family. The director behind Wendy's "Where's The Beef" campaign has passed away, reminding Luke of some of his amazing regional work. And finally, a listener offers an ingenious hack to getting your infor
#4727 Hacky Sack Is Backy Sack
A sad story of a lost cat in Andrew's neighborhood has one dazzling detail that offers a sliver of delight. Plus, Luke and Andrew are very excited to hear that the youth of today are getting into hacky sack again! And Luke thinks today is the day someone named Josh is really going to buy his lawnmower.
#4726 None Of My Beaux-ness
Luke and Andrew come into the show feeling a little itchy, but they spin that energy into podcast gold. Luke has an update on his electric lawnmower situation, Andrew explains why he's feeling a little nervous about an event this summer, and listener Tracy shares an inspirational story about facing her own fears bravely.
#4725 Mower Money, Mower Problems
Luke had a somewhat unfortunate realization about his lawn mower situation this morning. He and Andrew also discuss a class-action lawsuit against the company that is buying up bowling alleys and turning them into overly expensive hipster bars.
#4724 Moderate To Severe Self Confidence
Luke had an amazing birthday weekend that he is still recovering from, but Andrew wants to instead talk about his lunch on Saturday. They also get a TBTL Junior Sluggers update from Coach Ben, and a listener tries to tell the difference between modern art and a sleeping man.
#4723 Three Conferences Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Something happened to Luke during his 5K fun run yesterday that forced him to make a very important split-second decision. He and Andrew also discuss the "Blue Dot Fever" that is causing huge pop stars to cancel their summer tours. And Andrew's attempts to make elevator small talk crash and burn.
#4722 Where The Sideburn Ends
An update from Coach Ben about the TBTL Junior Sluggers leads to a conversation about stirrup socks and laundry etiquette. Luke offers an impromptu review of the Sam Rockwell time travel movie Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die. And a TBTL Ten gets a new job that is very relevant to Andrew's interests.
#4721 Honk If You're Corny
Luke just landed in Boston after a long flight, and he's already getting ready to turn around and fly back home. Plus, Andrew explains a huge revelation he recently learned about "Honk If…" bumper stickers. And they pick up some interesting Roblox facts via a Tiktok video about infidelity.
#4720 Grape-Nuts Bat Last
Luke and Andrew reminisce about being young and broke. They also discuss Luke's chastity watch (and what happened when he lost it), and why Red Lobster is playing a dangerous game by bringing back its Endless Shrimp promotion.
#4719 Calendar Boy
Luke undertook a mechanical project yesterday and is still unsure if it was a good idea. Andrew had the perfect Saturday, until he didn't. And Andrew explains how the imaginary voices of listeners helped him solve a long-standing problem in his bathroom.
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