Sex Money Mentality
A Dichotomy Club production that explores the intersection of sexual, mental, and financial wealth. The podcast aims to help listeners achieve a balanced and prosperous life by discussing these three key areas.
Episodes
Listener question: How to handle friends choosing sides after a divorce
Mel shares how she got through her divorce and reminds us who and what we put our energy into is everything.
When 6 years of dating finally paid off
Talking about the realities of dating, using the dating apps, and finding the right partner for you - not what society tells you is right. This includes dating someone with a child, moving in together quickly, and more. Being single, using dating apps, dating in a new city, adopting dogs, giving up hope and then getting it back again.
The luxury of ordering Uber Eats for one
I'm sharing with you one of my newest side hustles - walking dogs down the aisle at their human parents' weddings! Mel is on this episode sharing with us the experience she's having as her oldest moves out of the home - how at times it's scary and lonely, and at others it's peaceful as she orders Uber Eats for one. Kids moving out of the house is not an easy transition, let alo
Make $ without touching it
Two realistic & practical strategies to make your $ work for you! In today's episode I mention: Up BankIG Trading Platform Get Started Investing
Have I over-identified with being a mother?
Just the beginning of what will be several conversations with Mel. We're talking the impacts of COVID on teenagers, being a single mother, and navigating your oldest child moving out. Please don't forget to rate the show - it helps people find us.
Is monogamy dead?
Listener question & a mini dive into the history of monogamy.
Resolving conflict with James the Sexpert
Partners, friends, family. A stepped guide on how to resolve conflict with those you love.
How crypto changed the world of sex work
A Dichotomy Club production.
Redefining real: Love, loneliness & AI companionship with Dr. Lauren Rosewarne
From the most “trainable boyfriend” you’ll ever have to the backlash against single women and emotional outsourcing, we explore whether artificial lovers are a sign of collapse — or evolution.Dr. Lauren Rosewarne has published some pieces I know you'll be interested in. Check out a list here.
The Rise of the AI lover
Your partner now looks, sounds, and reacts in just the way you prefer. Always available. Always responsive. Not sounding so terrible?
Losing a friend
Losing a friend & gaining more purpose, more intention.
Donating eggs: Part 2
Do your own research, make your own decisions.
Moving cities & rebuilding
If you just made a move solo, sitting in the newness can be very uncomfortable. I’ve done it a couple times & am still no expert. I share my tips for reconnecting today, sending love 💛
Sexologist vs. sex therapist: What's the difference & what will we talk about?
Check out the Society of Australian Sexologist's Member Directory here: https://societyaustraliansexologists.org.au/directory
References
Hertlein, K.M., Gambescia, N., & Weeks, G.R. (Eds.). (2019). Systemic Sex Therapy (3rd ed.). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9780429297403
US Stock Market: What to Watch
The election is over. What to look out for now that Trump has once again been elected President.
The platform I use to manage investments is IG Trading (ig.com.au).
Attention vs. Intention in Dating
It helps me when you rate the show. I appreciate it in advance!
Donating my eggs: Part 1
1/6 couples (3.5 mil people in Australia) struggle with infertility. I've decided to donate my eggs and am bringing you along for the ride!
Check out Melbourne IVF here.
30 years of lessons learned
Cheers to a new decade of learning. 🥂
Top performing stocks
My portfolio is returning 29%. I share with you the best & worst performers.
@smm.podcast on Tiktok.
Build a smarter investment portfolio with James O-Reilly, Financial Advisor
Stocks vs. shares, how ethical companies perform, and how to build a more diversified portfolio.
Find the budgeting tool here.
And James' podcast here.
How we scientifically benefit from intentional breath work, with Clare Martin, Transformation and Breathwork Coach
Clare is back for her second episode and we're talking all things human physiology and breath work.
Book in a session with Clare by contacting her on Instagram @the.abundant.soul.
See more of the podcast on TikTok @smm.podcast.
When and where to buy property, with James O'Reilly, Financial Advisor
Property vs. stocks: Which one makes sense and when?
Find more of James and his company on LinkedIn here.
How alcohol affects our dating & sex lives, with Rahim Thawer, Social Worker & Psychotherapist
You can get more of Rahim at @ladyativan on IG and on LinkedIn here. Find more of SMM Podcast on TikTok & IG @smm.podcast.
From loss to transformation, with Clare Martin, Transformation & Breathwork Coach
What happens when you lost it all? What do our shadow identities mean? And what does true transformation require?
Find Clare at @the.abundant.soul on Instagram.
Setting a budget & what the money we spend may say about our self-worth, with James O'Reilly, Financial Advisor
- Setting a budget
- Not judging out spending
- The psychology of spending
Access the budget planner here (note: save a copy to edit your own).
Find out more about James' team and their services here.
How trauma shows up in relationships, with Carly Dober, Psychologist
Find more from Carly here.
Please also rate the show!
How to get the most out of online dating, with Rahim Thawer, Social Worker and Psychotherapist
You can get more of Rahim at @ladyativan on IG and on LinkedIn here. Find more of SMM Podcast on TikTok & IG @smm.podcast.
The tale of a modern day breakup
With James the Sexpert.
Attend the upcoming Unlocking Non-Monogamy workshop: https://linktr.ee/enmaustralia
See more ENM content and message them with your questions at @enm.australia on Instagram
My investment portfolio
What companies do I invest in and what do they return? I keep saying “stocks” and meant “shares” but you get the point. Take it easy on me.
Catch more at @smm.podcast on IG and TikTok.
The most hated man by Australian child sex offenders, Andrew Carpenter
Trigger warning: Child sex abuse
Sign the petition for change here.
The situationship breakup
In today's no BS ep, we talk about breaking up - but before you were "officially 'together.'"Consider our breakup series a little bit of therapy, a little bit of encouragement, and a whole lot of realness.
Vulnerability is Strength, with Jason Banks, Co-CEO of TIACS
Did you know it takes someone struggling with mental-ill health an average of 10 years to ask for help? Please share this episode with someone who may be quietly struggling.
Find more of Jason by searching "Jason Banks" on LinkedIn & TIACS here: https://www.tiacs.org/
Anxious & in love, with James the Sexpert
Good things are worth waiting (and sorting through personal issues) for. A love life update from James.
Catch him on IG at enm.australia, and more on TikTok at bswithem.
What's your (fantasy) type? With James the Sexpert
Today we're talking with James the Sexpert (enm.australia on IG) about the dimensions of sexual fantasy & how our past shapes them.
Catch more at bswithem.com
For more information on the dimensions of sexual fantasy:
Three Dimensions of Depth of Involvement in Human Sexual Response
Donald L. Mosher
The Journal of Sex ResearchVol. 16, No. 1 (Feb., 1980), pp. 1-42 (42 pages)Published By:
Am I having enough sex?
Catch more on Tiktok - bswithem & Instagram - @emilywolter_
What it's like dating as a bisexual & poly person who has autism & ADHD, with Ruby Susan Mountford, President of Melbourne Bisexual Network
On today's episode we're covering:
- Ruby's experience "fitting in" throughout their life
- What their learning process has been like as someone with ADHD
- How dating has been (and particularly, dating as a poly person)
& much more.
Find Ruby on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ruby-mountford/
On Instagram: @keptonice
On Twitter: @RubySusan29
Vaginal tightness
On today's episode we're covering:
- How vaginal tightness is affected
- How arousal levels, one's age, and pelvic floor muscle activation affect vaginal tightness
Find Dr. Julie here: https://www.youtube.com/@DrJulie
References:
About menopause: The Royal Women’s Hospital. Retrieved from: https://www.thewomens.org.au/health-information/menopause-information/menopause-an-overview
How to get better at dirty talk, with Dominatrix Mistress Phoenix
Adult-only content please. You can find more information on Mistress Phoenix at https://www.mistressphoenixsydney.com/
How to tell a partner you want to open up
He's 38, has kids, isn't getting his needs met, and is considering opening up the relationship. What now?
James the Sexpert is here to help! Find James at @enm.australia on Instagram, and email him at james@somaticconnect.com.
Can you healthily live with an ex?
I am so excited we have Raf joining us on the podcast again for more candid chats. I'm not saying who, but someone slept with an ex, and someone even lives with one.
Find Raf at @bigbossmusicmastering on IG, me at @emilywolter_ on IG, and Raf's last episode on the podcast here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/30gZ2yxnVeWQQ2kHnMRkLy?si=3bea3751aa2041a3 (or search "BS with Em Raf").
The struggle of NEW non-monogamous, long distance relationships is real
A true BS bonus episode. New non-monogamous relationships can feel scary, insecure, and threatening. Sprinkle in some heavy bouts of jealousy and you're just about through the first few months.
Find James the Sexpert at @enm.australia on IG, and me at bswithem on TikTok.
Website: bswithem.com
Sexual non-concordance
On today's episode we're covering: The meaning of sexual non-concordance (and concordance) What this looks like physiologically The difference between penis & vulva owners in regards to concordance The research referenced in today's episode includes: Arousal Non-concordance and Involuntary Sexual Response. Retrieved from: https://psychpd.com.au/arousal-non-concordance-and-involuntary-sexual
Our favourite data scientist explains why intelligent, successful women are single (with John Ward)
We have John Ward back on the podcast to talk about a little something he calls hypergamy.
On today's episode we're covering:
- My experience dating
- How intelligence affects attraction
- Our inherent need to provide/be provided for
You can catch more on Instagram at @emilywolter_ and on TikTok @bswithem
Listener feedback on age gaps, plus how our personality traits develop over time
On today's episode we're covering:
Listener experience with age gaps in dating (@emilywolter_ on Instagram to get in on the convo)
How "The Big Five" personality traits evolve from 16-19 and 26-29
Why the older population may have more success with larger age gaps
The research referenced includes:
Pusch, Sebastian; Mund, Marcus; Hagemeyer, Birk; Finn, Christine; Wrzus,
Young men & sexual violence: An interview with Harrison James
Trigger warning: today's episode contains information about sexual assault/violence. Please listen only if you are in the right space to do so.
We're covering:
Harri's story (get your tissues)
Why speaking up on social media was right for him
From surviving to thriving: the journey
What he's most excited for in the future
You can catch more of Harri:
On Instagram: @i
Her first time in a non-monogamous relationship: A love life update with James the Sexpert
Spoiler alert: James is dropping L bombs.
How is non-monogamy going for her?
Find us on Instagram: @enm.australia & @emilywolter_
Are you a sex addict or just human? With James the Sexpert
On today's episode we're covering:
- What defines sex addiction
- How porn affects our sexual experiences
- Society's want to pathologise sexual tendencies, particularly for women
You can now contact James at love@enmaustralia.com.au
Find more on TikTok @bswithem
Is age but a number, really? Plus an intro to ENM Australia, with James the Sexpert
On today's episode we're covering:
- An intro to ENM Australia, James' new venture
- Our experience in dating people "much" (such a relative term!) younger or older than us
- What really defines an "open" relationship
Links to what we mention in the podcast:
Sav & Mark on TikTok: @savandmark https://www.tiktok.com/@savandmark?is_from_webapp=1&sender_de
How ego drives our sexual fantasies, with Artemisia de Vine, Sexologist & Sexual Fantasy Specialist
On today's episode we're covering:
- The three 'S's' of sexual fantasies
- What our fantasies say about our ego
- How to better understand ours, and our partners', fantasies
You can find more information on Artemisia and her services on her website here: https://www.artemisiadevine.com/
And more from me on Instagram @emilywolter_.
Make condoms sexy again, with Sam Blake, Sexual Health Expert
Episode 3 of our sexual health series with the BS with Em Sexual Health Expert, Sam Blake.
Today we're covering:
- Are condoms actually sometimes too small?
- What to do if you have trouble orgasming with a condom on
- A node to making condoms sexy again
Below are some resources which may help you:
letthemknow.org.au
https://www.thedramadownunder.info/
herpes.org.nz
https://www.health.nsw.
What I wish people knew about STIs (and specifically herpes), with Sam Blake, our Sexual Health Expert
Episode 2 of our sexual health series with the BS with Em Sexual Health Expert, Sam Blake.
Today we're covering:
- The correct term: is it "STI" or "STD?"
- Can I sleep with someone with an STI?
- What to know about herpes
Below are some resources which may help you:
letthemknow.org.au
https://www.thedramadownunder.info/
herpes.org.nz
https://www.health.nsw.gov.au/sexual
How to have safe sex, plus when and what to get tested, with Sam Blake, Sexual Health Clinician & Health Educator
Today kicks off our sexual health series with the BS with Em Sexual Health Expert, Sam Blake.
Today we're covering:
- How to have safe sex
- How often we should get tested
- What we should be getting tested
- How to talk to a doctor about what's appropriate for you
Below are some resources which may help you:
letthemknow.org.au
https://www.thedramadownunder.info/
herpes.org.nz
htt
Listener convo: How did you open your monogamous relationship?
I'm thrilled to be talking with YOU about how your "non-traditional" (what does that even mean?) relationships are working out.
The good, the bad, the kinks, & everything in between.
On today's episode we're covering:
- How she went from monogamous to poly
- How her partner reacted to her wanting to open up
- Raising kids while in a poly relationship
If you're interested in telling me abo
Dating apps & communication tips for those with disability and/or speech impairments, with Vanessa Arratia, Speech Pathologist
On today's episode we're covering:
- Dating apps for those with disability
- Reading verbal & non-verbal communication
- The importance of discussing sexuality in the healthcare sector
For more information about Royal Rehab Sexuality Services go to https://royalrehab.com.au/sexuality-service/
To make a referral please complete their online referral form https://royalrehablif
How ADHD affects relationships (& how to manage it)
On today’s episode we’re covering:
- What ADHD is (& isn't)
- Types of ADHD
- Common challenges in relationships & sexuality for those with ADHD
- How to work through these challenges
- What a counsellor/therapist may work on to manage relationships impacted by ADHD
The research referenced includes:
ADHD: Hyperactive-Impulsive Type. WebMD. 9 March 2021. Retrieved from: https:/
A conversation with my mom: Part 2
A conversation with my mom, who taught me to be who and how I am.
TW: we briefly discuss sexual abuse in this episode.
On today's episode we're covering:
- What my mom wishes she knew before motherhood
- How she found raising 5 girls
- What she'd say to her mother if she was still here
- Just more of why I love my mom so damn much.
Catch more of me at @emilywolter_ on Instagra
A conversation with my mom: Part 1
A conversation with my mom, who taught me to be who and how I am.
TW: we briefly discuss sexual abuse in this episode.
On today's episode we're covering:
- The good ole Catholic upbringing
- What mom really thinks about my podcast (& other 'content')
- Her mindset around sexuality and why it's so important to talk about it now
Gosh damn I love this woman.
Catch more
On faking orgasms
On today's episode we're covering:
- Historical research around faking orgasms
- What the research says today
- What listeners had to say on if & why they fake
The research referenced includes:
Herbenick, Debby; Eastman-Mueller, Heather; Fu, Tsung-chieh; Dodge, Brian; Ponander, Kia; Sanders, Stephanie A. (2019). Women’s Sexual Satisfaction, Communication, and Reasons for (No Lo
Breakups part 2: The long-term breakup
How I got through my biggest heartbreak.
Follow me @emilywolter_ on Instagram & @bswithem on TikTok.
What does it mean to make love, not porn? With the absolute powerhouse & CEO Cindy Gallop
On today's episode we're covering:
- What porn really is
- What it means to make love, not porn
- The challenges of marketing ethical "adult content"
- How sex is our personality, not an act
- The vulnerable side we have towards sexual interactions
- How to support Make Love Not Porn
You can find Make Love Not Porn here: https://makelovenotporn.tv/
On Twitter: https://twitter.com/makelovenot
Why we need to challenge the status quo around porn, its violence, and the notion it's misogynistic, with Paulita Pappel, Co-Founder of Lustery
Today we're covering:
What we've been told about porn vs. what porn represents
The research around the effects of porn
Challenging the status quo around the word "porn"
The importance of representation
Understanding women have autonomy and are sexual beings
What Lustery makes available (documentary porn from real people around the world)
Find Luste
Post-coital dysphoria (tristesse)
On today's episode we're covering:
- What post-coital dysphoria (PCD) is
- How many people experience it
- Signs you are experiencing it
- IG poll results
The research referenced includes:
Maczkowiack J, Schweitzer RD. Postcoital Dysphoria: Prevalence and Correlates Among Males. J Sex Marital Ther. 2019;45(2):128-140. doi: 10.1080/0092623X.2018.1488326. Epub 2019 Feb 7. PMID: 300405
On walking away from people & places you love
A message from me on being honest with yourself, speaking for what you want, and walking away when you need to make space for what, and who, has the potential to meet those needs for you.
x
James is jealous for the first time in six years
On today's episode we're covering:
- James' modern love tale
- Jealousy
- Coping with jealousy
- Attachment styles
Good news! James is available for appointments now. Reach out to him at James@somaticconnect.com
Find me on Instagram @emilywolter_
A poly chat with the queer & poly-friendly counsellor and accredited mental health social worker Anthony Lekkas
On today's episode we're covering:
- Anthony's experience as a bisexual, cis man
- When someone might look at opening a relationship
- Bringing up the possibility of being poly with a partner
- Attachment styles & challenges
- Poly parenting
You can find more on Anthony and access his services here -
At Northside Counselling Solution: https://northsidecoun
Doing good in business with Matt Cohen of whyhive
Today we're covering:
- Doing good in business
- Our relationship with money
- Self-care & prioritisation
- Matt's business ventures and the path to caring for others while caring for himself
You can find Matt on LinkedIn here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/matt-cohen-981786175/
More info on whyhive here: https://www.whyhive.com/
And Bloody Good Bins: https://bloodygoodbins.com/
See my websi
Let's have an uncomfortable conversation with Eleonora Bertsa-Fuchs of Let's Talk About X
Today we're joined by Consent & LGBTQIA+ Inclusion Educator Eleonora Bertsa-Fuchs (she/they) of Let's Talk About X. Eleonora is a former teacher, a sexologist, and is now teaching us the importance of tough conversations, respect, inclusive language, and consent education.
On today's episode we're covering:
- Are all the pronouns getting to be too much?
- What do we do if we
Creating safe spaces & sharing our personal stories of strength with Hannah McKimm, Trauma-Informed Coach, Rape Survivor, & Podcast Host
In today's episode, we're covering:
- Hannah's story
- The emotions and behaviours survivors might experience
- How society can work to reverse rates of sexual violence
- The pyramid of sexual violence
- Creating safe spaces
Phoenix featured a lot in this episode, so don't mind the groans in the background.
You can find Hannah on Instagram: @hannahmckimmcoachi
How important are star signs for dating and understanding oneself? With Mark Ashmore, Astrologist
On today's episode we're covering:
- The difference between Vedic & western astrology
- How important star signs are for dating
- Why the "moon" sign is so important in intimacy
- How accurate readings are
- Spirituality
- The importance of vulnerable conversations
Catch more of Mark:
On his website: https://www.markashmore.com.au/about.html
On his Instagram: @astrologywithmark
And me:
On my w
Do kinky people have to live double lives? With the Founder of Kinkerette
Today we're covering:
- Stigmas around kinks
- Sex taboos
- Being a dynamic human (NEWS FLASH: You can enjoy sex & kinks & be professional too!)
- The evolution of Kinkerette
- Hiding one's self to pursue other passions
SHOP KINKERETTE: https://kinkerette.com.au/
And get 30% off by using code 'BSWITHEM' at checkout
Find them on Instagram: @kinker
More connected yet more lonely than ever before
Today I read you an article I wrote that was recently published in Independent Australia.
Today we're covering:
- The online dating landscape
- Mental health statistics
- Why we're so lonely
- The need to be more realistic and interpersonal in our dating
References
13 Online Dating Statistics Australians Should Know in 2022. Retrieved from: https://takeatumble
Am I poly? With John Ward, Data Scientist
Today we're covering:
- Communication and boundaries required in poly relationships
- The complexities of opening up
- Am I poly?
You can join in on the convo on Instagram @emilywolter_
Check out my website, where you can find affiliate codes, support the pod, and send me a voice note with your own story at bswithem.com
Do poly relationships work? Talking the data & complexities with John Ward, Data Scientist
Today we're covering:
- The complexities of poly relationships
- Factors that are left out of measurements of "successful" relationships
- How many relationships we need to manage when we're open
We're back with John next week to dive deeper into the emotional and sensual side of poly relationships.
Join the convo on Instagram @emilywolter_ and on the website at bsw
Spotting a violent relationship & how to help with Liv T., Family Violence and Homelessness Worker
Trigger warning: discussion of family/domestic violence.
Today we're covering :
- Signs to look for when a friend/loved one may be experiencing violence
- Where to seek help
- Steps to get support
- The psychology behind those in a violent relationship
There are always people who want to listen and take care of you.
For additional support:
1800 RESPECT ( 1800
Healthcare and gender: making health more LGBTIQ+ inclusive with Mel Brush of Let's Talk About X
In today's episode, we're covering:
- The importance of language in healthcare
- How gender identity affects health
- How to make healthcare more inclusive
You can find Mel Brush on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mel-brush-697938237/
And Let's Talk About X: https://www.talkaboutx.org/contact-us
See more on the website at bswithem.com
The online gendered harassment women & gender diverse people face, with Caitlin McGrane, Manager, Policy & Online Safety, Gender Equity Victoria
"There are so many people who can imagine a better future. And you are not alone.
There are so many people who are trying to change the future, and you can find them. And that gives me hope."
Today we're covering:
- The meaning of feminism
- Stereotypes & archetypes
- Why the political & corporate world don't actually reflect the population
- Barriers for women & gen
Is the gym made only for cis men? How to create a more inclusive gym space with Mel Brush of Let's Talk About X
Today's candid conversations with Mel Brush is all around how the gym can feel intimidating and uncomfortable for someone who is non-binary.
What language can we use to make LGBTIQ+ feel more comfortable?
How can we hire for more diversity?
Why is it important for us to share our pronouns?
A great episode for gym managers, trainers, and gym-goers on the very relatable feel
Feeld & first dates with James the Sexpert
Talking first date rules, Feeld, and how quickly we sleep with someone.
Find us on Instagram:
Emily: @emilywolter_
James: @elaskayoung
Stealthing - it's illegal
On today's episode we're covering:
- New Victorian laws on affirmative consent and stealthing
- What stealthing is
- Women's experiences with stealthing
- The mentality of someone who might be guilty of stealthing
You can find me on Instagram @emilywolter_
And Kenshi Candles here: https://kenshicandles.com.au/
References
Davis, K. C. (2019). “Stealthing”: Factors associated with young men’s nonc
Michael Flood, Associate Professor & Sociologist, on breaking down toxic masculinity and how to be a good man today
Today we're joined by Associate Professor, Sociologist, and Researcher Michael Flood. Michael focuses on masculinity and pro-feminist research, and is heavily involved in gender equality, anti-violence, and working with men and boys in changing social norms.
On today's episode, we cover:
- Why discussions around femininity and masculinity are still relevant and important
- How social norms around
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