Recovering Out Loud
Host Anthony shares his personal journey of sobriety, including a relapse after 7.5 years and rebuilding from zero. As an addiction counsellor-in-training, he offers practical tools for recovery, focusing on emotional sobriety, relapse prevention, identity, shame, trauma, and mental health. The podcast addresses the real, often messy struggles of staying sober and is aimed at those newly sober, long-term in recovery, or supporting loved ones. New episodes are released weekly.
Episodes
10 Things Alcoholics Do That Normal Drinkers Don't
Ten things I thought were normal until I got sober — supply math, pre-gaming, the morning panic. I'm not a doctor. I'm just a guy who did all ten of these, and didn't realize nobody else was living like this until I put it down.In this solo episode I walk through the behaviours that quietly separate problem drinking from normal drinking — the stuff we laugh about in the rooms because w
The Hidden Opportunities in Recovery (The Wins Nobody Claps For)
The wins nobody claps for are the ones that built your recovery. Here are the hidden ones.We throw parties for the first sober birthday and the first sober holiday. But nobody warns you about the first sober funeral, the first sober breakup, the first heartbreak you walk through with nothing to numb it. In this solo episode I share the opportunities that hid inside the hard parts of getting sober
10 Weird Things My Alcoholic Brain Does in Recovery
Ten weird things my alcoholic brain still does in recovery — and why none of them run my life anymore.I've been in recovery since 2015. I relapsed around seven and a half years in, and I'm back — a year and a half sober again. This is a solo one: just me laughing at my own brain out loud, because I'm convinced it works differently than someone who doesn't have this thing. For me, a
Everything I Knew About Getting Sober Was Wrong (10 Myths)
Ten recovery myths that keep people stuck — from someone sober again after a hard relapse. Almost everything I thought I knew about getting sober turned out to be wrong, and some of it nearly cost me my life. In this solo episode I go through ten of the biggest myths I hear online, from friends, and in the news — why each one sticks around, and what's tended to be truer in my actual experience.I'm
Staying Sober While Travelling, the Strivers' Curse & "We Could Have Missed It All"
CHEF DEV IS BACK...A counsellor once asked Devan: what's wrong with the way you feel? This is that conversation. Chef Devan Rajkumar Today, he travels and cooks across different cities, constantly learning, evolving, and refining his approach. Every kitchen, every culture, and every experience adds to how he creates. He stays curious, asks questions, and continues to grow because great food co
The 5 Reactions to “I Don’t Drink” And How to Handle Them
What happens when you tell people you're sober — and how to handle every reaction.Getting sober is one job. Telling people you're sober is a completely separate one — and it never really ends. New party, new drink in someone's outstretched hand, and there you are deciding again how to say it. In this solo episode, Anthony walks through the reactions you'll actually get when you tell people you don
The Four Agreements & Recovery: Words, Resentment, Doing Your Best
The Four Agreements, read through a recovery lens — words, resentment, assumptions, and doing your best.A quiet 1997 book that keeps showing up in the rooms, even though it wasn't written for them. I gothrough all four agreements and how each maps onto staying sober — the self-talk that runs onautopilot, the gossip that turns fellowship into a rumor mill, the resentments we build out ofthings
Ego Is the Enemy | How Self-Centeredness Drives Relapse — and What Beats It
The thing that almost killed me and the thing keeping me sober are the same voice: ego.In this solo episode I break down ego the way it actually shows up in recovery — not the loudmouth cliché, but the quiet self-centeredness underneath it. Ego has two faces that trade shifts: the top of the seesaw ("I've got this, the rules don't apply to me") and the bottom ("I'm the w
The Recovery Skills That Quietly Fixed the Rest of My Life
The thing that kept me sober turned out to be the thing that made me better at being a person.Recovery isn't just about not using — it's a full retraining in how to be a human being. Most of us don't notice how many of those skills transfer until we're using them on a Tuesday at work. Today I walk through the six that followed me out the door of rehab and straight into a better lif
The Consequences of My Addiction — 10 Lessons I Learned the Hard Way
Money, cars, a house — all recoverable. Your health and your life aren't. That's one of ten lessons I pulled from the consequences of my addiction.Before I get into them: if you hear one of these and think "mine wasn't that bad" or "mine was worse" — stop comparing. Look for the similarities, not the differences. Our circumstances differ, but I know addiction, so I
7 Unpopular Recovery Opinions I'll Probably Get Hate For
Sober and bitter isn't recovery — it's the same disease in a suit. That's opinion #1, and there are six more.After 11 years in and around recovery — including a relapse at seven and a half years and a year and a half back — these are the takes I've landed on that don't always match the popular line. I'm not preaching them as fact. I'm open to being wrong, and I want to
Your Feelings Are Real — But They're Not Reality | Emotional Sobriety
Your feelings are real — but they're not reality. That's the line that reframed how I do recovery, and it's the heart of today's Borrowed Wisdom.I'm reading the highlight quotes from one of my favourite speaker tapes — Don M. on emotional sobriety — and adding my own lived-experience take. This one's about the crux of staying sober long-term: your feelings are valid, but th
When Someone in Your Circle Relapses: Fear, Grief, and How to Actually Help
What do you do when someone close to you goes back out? In this solo episode I talk through what it's actually like when someone in your circle relapses — the fear, the grief, the guilt, and the relief nobody admits out loud. I've been on both sides of it: I've watched people I love relapse, and I've been the one people were trying to reach when I went back out after seven and a half years. This i
He Flipped His Car 10 Feet From a Family's Bedroom | Getting Sober After a DUI
Joe got laid off in July, ended up in a trap house by the weekend, and figured he had the summer off. By September he had a DUI, a car that had flipped twice and landed ten feet from a family's bedroom window, a second crash, and a Facebook post about him shared twelve hundred times that he found out about from a friend on the couch beside him.He was three weeks into rehab before he thought he
10 Warning Signs of Relapse (Before It's Too Late) | My Relapse Started Months Before I Picked Up
I didn't wake up one day and decide to use after seven and a half years. The relapse started weeks — months — before the first drink or drug. I just called it a rough patch and looked away.This one lives in the space before relapse: the quiet drift most of us miss until it's too late. I walk through 10 warning signs I wish I'd caught in myself, from pulling away from support to romanticizing the p
Sober But Still Miserable? The Dry Drunk | Borrowed Wisdom Pt. 3 Bob D
Another Borrowed Wisdom episode — I read the highlight clips from a Bob talk that shifted something in me, and reflect on them one at a time.This one lands hard on the stuff nobody tells you when you first put the drink down: that the real problem starts where the bottle ends. Bob talks about being restless, irritable and discontent as a little kid, long before he ever picked up. The "disease
Gratitude in Recovery: How to Actually Practice It Without Lying to Yourself
Everyone in recovery preaches gratitude. Almost nobody tells you it can feel completely fake when you're hurting.In this solo episode I get into what gratitude actually is in recovery — the difference between the performative "#blessed" version and the real thing — why it's so hard early on and after a relapse, and how I practice it without lying to myself. I talk about grateful
Sober But Still Trapped in Self-Will : The Self-Centeredness That Outlasts the Alcohol
Getting sober doesn't automatically make you a good person. Remove the alcohol or the drugs and you're left with the same wiring — the self-centeredness, the main-character syndrome, the 100 forms of self-centered fear that ran the show all along. The problem starts where the bottle ends.In this solo episode, Anthony talks honestly about the selfishness that outlasts the substance: the sneaky form
Relapsing After 11 Months, Sober Motherhood & 14 Years in Recovery — Co-Founder of Generation Women
She had 11 months sober — then relapsed over an argument she'd only ever had in her own head.Jen returns to the show to walk through what came next: eight months of counting drinks, sneaking drinks, and trying to "manage it" — a stretch she says felt crazier than when she was strung out. From there it's the recovery that finally stuck: getting sober for good, becoming a sober mom
The Masks We Wear in Recovery | Borrowed Wisdom Pt. 2 : Earl H, The Path to Freedom
This is Part 2 of Borrowed Wisdom: Earl, "The Path to Freedom." Earl is one of my all-time favourites in recovery. I pulled the quotes that hit hardest and reflected on each one from my own experience — a guy who relapsed after 7.5 years sober and had to find his way back.What we get into:- The mask we wear — in addiction, in sobriety, and how the tough guy performance set up my relapse-
Loving an Alcoholic: Both Sides of the Same Story From Addiction to Recovery
Some recovery stories are told from one side. This one isn't.Chloe lived the alcoholism. Andrew loved her through it — and watched both the addiction and the recovery up close. In this episode they sit down together and rebuild the same years from two different chairs: how they fell for each other fast, how the drinking took over, the hospital trips, the relapses, and the night it finally turn
Why Sobriety Stopped Feeling Like a Win: The Emotional Sobriety Plateau Nobody Warns You About
Nobody warns you that sobriety can stop feeling like a win.They warn you about the cravings, the first 30 days, the holidays. Nobody tells you about the Tuesday — a couple of years in — when the chips slow down, the applause stops, and being sober just becomes your life. And somewhere in that quiet, the old voice gets an opening.I know it because I lived it. I relapsed after seven and a half years
The One Cause of Every Resentment, Every Lie, and Every Defect | Borrowed Wisdom #1 Bob D
This is the first in a new series — Borrowed Wisdom — where I share the greatest recovery speaker tapes that saved my life. Every resentment I've ever had came from fear, and a speaker named Bob D broke that wide open for me.In this solo episode I pull the highlights from a speaker tape that's saved my ass more times than I can count, and I reflect on what each line means in my own recover
"Sorry" Stopped Working: How I Actually Made Amends in Recovery
I said "I'm sorry" so many times in my addiction that the word stopped meaning anything. All words, no action — guilt with a better vocabulary. In this solo episode I get into the difference between a verbal amends and a living amends: not the conversation, but the daily commitment to behave differently and become someone who doesn't repeat the harm.I talk about cleaning up my si
The Diary of a Recovering Drug Addict : Thoughts That Keep Me Sober
10 unfiltered thoughts from my morning journal on staying sober, comparison, peace over happiness, and the war that's really with myself.At a year and a half sober again, I sat down with my morning journal and pulled out 10 thoughts that are keeping me in recovery right now — then talked them through, raw and unscripted.This one's about comparison and jealousy in the recovery and creator space ("w
It’s Okay to Miss Drinking Sometimes : The Part of Recovery Nobody Is Honest About
Is it okay to admit you miss drinking? Psychotherapist Eryl returns to Recovering Out Loud for an honest conversation about the grief almost nobody talks about in early sobriety — and why pretending "it was all bad" can leave you feeling more ashamed and isolated than the truth ever would.Anthony and Eryl get into the alcohol addiction recovery experience as it really is: substances as an "escape
Unexpected Benefits of Sobriety: The Small Wins That Actually Keep You Sober
Everyone talks about what you lose when you get sober. Nobody talks about what you get back.Not the big stuff — career, family, health. Those are real, but they're slow. They're not what keeps you sober at 11 p.m. on a Tuesday.In this episode, Anthony breaks down the unexpected, small, sometimes weird gifts that sobriety actually delivers — the ones that sneak up on you, that nobody puts i
"I Miss It Sometimes" — Euphoric Recall & What Recovery Doesn't Let You Say Out Loud
You're allowed to miss it. Nobody tells you that.Most recovery content tells you your using days were all bad. But if that were true, you wouldn't have kept going back. In this episode, Anthony gets honest about the parts of his drinking and using days he actually misses — the escape, the ritual, the identity, the connection — and why admitting that out loud might be the most important thi
You Can Get Addicted to Weed. It Almost Killed Him | "I Was Smoking Lint Off the Carpet to Get High"
Everyone says weed isn't addictive. Alex is eight years sober and almost didn't make it out.This is the first time he's told the whole thing start to finish. We get into the last 30 days of his using — when he was so deep he couldn't even get high anymore, just chasing a feeling that was already gone. He takes us to his last day: an ice storm, a long drive for weed that wasn't
Old Ideas: How to Uncover, Discover & Discard What's Keeping You Stuck
Nobody told me that getting sober wasn't the hard part. The hard part was realizing the version of myself I'd been dragging around for years — the beliefs, the patterns, the way I saw the world — most of it wasn't even mine.In this episode, I'm breaking down one of the most important phrases in my recovery: Uncover, Discover, Discard. This isn't a clinical framework — it's how I actually learned t
A Mother’s Story of Grief, Faith, and Recovery : I Lost My 1-Year Old In Recovery
Jesse stayed sober after losing her 1-year-old son. A mother's story of recovery, grief, and faith.In December 2022, Jesse hit her rock bottom — a night of drinking and cocaine that ended in an ER waiting room, where she prayed for the first time and asked for help. Four months later, she found out she was pregnant. Her son Jacob — what she calls her miracle baby — became the reason she stayed
Self-Forgiveness in Recovery: Why You Can't Afford to Hate Yourself Sober
Self-forgiveness in addiction recovery is the work nobody markets — because nobody wants to buy it. In this solo episode, Anthony shares why shame is a stronger predictor of relapse than a deterrent, why guilt and shame are not the same emotion, and the 5-step practice he uses to forgive himself one day at a time.After 7.5 years sober, Anthony relapsed in 2024. He came back January 12, 2025. This
Two Cops Ended His 32-Year Addiction : I Used Daily in a Motel For 5 Months
Steven spent five months in a hotel room smoking crack, accepting he'd die there. Then his mother asked a judge if he had children — and two cops knocked. The story of one last day.Six and a half years ago, Steven was sitting in a hotel room he hadn't left in five months, smoking crack cocaine in the same clothes he'd been wearing since July. He'd accepted he was going to die there.Two weeks befor
Chasing Pleasure, Finding Meaning: What I Got Wrong in 7.5 Years of Sobriety
Most people don't relapse because they wanted to drink. They relapse because they were still chasing pleasure — just in a legal package.Anthony had 7.5 years of sober time before he picked up. In this episode, he breaks down the real reason long-term sobriety unravels: the war between pleasure and meaning, and why the recovery world is full of people white-knuckling a life they were never trai
Is Alcohol the Problem? The Honest Answer About Addiction
Is alcohol the problem, or is the person holding the glass? Anthony breaks down the science, the shame, and the honest answer most people in recovery won't say out loud.Full description:Is alcohol the problem — or is the person drinking it? It's one of the most argued questions in addiction recovery, and how you answer it changes everything about how you get sober and stay sober.In this solo episo
I Relapsed Before 2 Years Sober And Now I Can’t Stop
Emily returns to Recovering Out Loud mid-relapse to announce she's ending her own sobriety podcast. This is by far The most raw and vunerable conversation we've had on chronic relapse, identity in recovery, and what happens when "sober Sally" disappears.Emily came on the first season of Recovering Out Loud almost two years sober, running her own recovery podcast Talks on the Rock
Busy Is the New Drunk | How Resistance Kills Your Recovery
Struggling to move forward in recovery — even when you're "doing everything right"? That might be resistance. And it probably doesn't look the way you think it does.In this episode of Recovering Out Loud, Anthony breaks down 5 forms of resistance that hide in plain sight in addiction recovery — the ones that feel like growth, look like progress, and get socially rewarded, but are quietly keeping y
Injecting Wellness: How the Peptide Industry Is Targeting People in Recovery
People in recovery are being deliberately targeted by the peptide industry — and most of us don't even realize it.In this episode, Anthony breaks down how the influencer ecosystem profits from the exact vulnerability that early recovery creates: the desperate need to feel better, faster. Post-acute withdrawal syndrome is real, the brain genuinely takes time to heal, and predatory actors are fi
The Personality Sobriety Stole From Me (And What I Found Underneath)
Everyone expects sobriety to reveal the real you — calmer, freer, finally yourself. What nobody warns you about is that the first thing sobriety does is introduce you to a version of yourself you don't recognize. And you might not like what you see.In this episode, Anthony gets into the personality change that happens when you get sober — not the inspirational version, the actual version. Why earl
13th Stepping: The Predatory Behaviour Recovery Won't Talk About
Predatory behavior in recovery spaces is real, and most people refuse to name it. In this solo episode, I share what 13th stepping is, why it puts newcomers — especially women — at serious risk, the manipulation tactics to watch for (love bombing, trauma bonding, isolation, fake "I can keep you sober" dependency), and what people with more time owe the people walking in scared.This isn&#
Member, Attender or Pretender: Which One Are You in Recovery Right Now?
In this episode of Recovering Out Loud, Anthony introduces a framework he calls Member, Attender, Pretender — the three roles people cycle through in recovery — and makes the case that knowing which one you're in right now could be the most important question you ask yourself this week.This isn't about shame. It's about awareness.The Three Roles:The Pretender The Pretender isn't ly
Is Addiction a Disease or a Choice? The Different Models That Explain Addiction
Is addiction a disease… or a choice?For decades, psychologists, doctors, and people in recovery have debated this question.Some experts argue addiction is a chronic brain disease.Others believe addiction develops through learned behavior, trauma, or environment.In this episode of Recovering Out Loud, Anthony breaks down the major psychological models used to explain addiction and how they influenc
The 5 Lies Addiction Tells You — And Why They Sound So Reasonable
That voice in your head — the one that shows up right before a relapse — isn't random. It's patterned. It's predictable. And once you can name it, it loses most of its power.In this episode of Recovering Out Loud, Anthony breaks down the 5 lies that addiction tells you — the cognitive distortions that sound completely reasonable in the moment but are quietly setting you up. Whether you
Staying Sober When You Want to Drink : The Triggers Nobody Warns You About
Patio season hits different when you’re sober.In this episode, I break down the reality of navigating patios, bars, and summer social environments in recovery — especially when everything looks fun on the outside.From unexpected triggers walking past patios…To feeling out of place when everyone else is drinking…To that quiet voice that tells you you’re missing out…This is the episode I wish I had
Why We Self-Sabotage When Life Starts Getting Better In Addiction Recovery
Why do people sometimes destroy the very progress they worked so hard to build?In recovery, something strange often happens. Life begins improving — relationships heal, opportunities return, and stability appears. Yet for many people, this is exactly when self-sabotage begins.In this episode of Recovering Out Loud, Anthony explores the psychology behind self-sabotage in addiction recovery and pers
Codependency in Recovery: Boundaries, Dating Apps, and Emotional Sobriety
Today I sat down with my good friend Kaitlin B. Getting sober is one thing. Learning how to live with your feelings is another. In this episode, we get into emotional sobriety, codependency, boundaries, dating, self-worth, and why being alone can feel so uncomfortable in recovery. This is a real conversation about healing the patterns underneath addiction. What happens after you stop drinking or u
Isolation in Recovery: When Being Alone Becomes Dangerous
Is Isolation worse for you than drinking? Lets talk about it There’s a stage in recovery that doesn’t get talked about enough.It’s not the chaos of addiction.It’s not withdrawal.It’s the quiet phase where you start pulling away from people…ignoring calls, canceling plans, and convincing yourself you’re better off alone.In this episode, I break down isolation in recovery — why it happens, what it a
The Dangerous Lie of “Functional Alcoholism”
When people picture addiction, they often imagine someone who has lost everything.But that’s not always the reality.Some people lose jobs, relationships, and housing because of addiction. Others maintain careers, families, reputations, and outward success while silently struggling.From the outside, everything appears stable.But internally, the situation can be very different.In this episode of Rec
Why Some People Become Addicted (And Others Don’t)
Why can some people drink or use drugs casually… while others lose control the moment they start?For decades people believed addiction was simply about willpower, discipline, or bad choices. But modern research suggests the reality is far more complex.In this episode of Recovering Out Loud, Anthony breaks down the real factors that influence addiction risk.Addiction rarely has a single cause. Inst
I’m Struggling | The Diary of An Addict Part 1
In this episode of Recovering Out Loud, Anthony opens up about what it really means to get current in recovery. He talks about the danger of pretending everything is fine, the pressure to look strong on the outside, and how secrets, isolation, fear, comparison, and financial stress can quietly pull someone away from the solution.Anthony shares how meditation, honesty, prayer, service, fellowship,
Closing Safe Consumption Sites: Progress or a Dangerous Mistake
The Great Debate...Ontario’s HART Hubs vs Harm Reduction | Ontario is shifting its addiction response with the rollout of HART Hubs — short for Homelessness and Addiction Recovery Treatment Hubs — while moving away from supervised consumption services, safer supply, drug checking, and needle exchange programs. In this episode, I break down what that policy shift actually means, what HART Hubs are
10 Lessons From 10 Years in Addiction Recovery
What actually keeps someone sober long-term?After spending the last 10 years in and out of recovery, I’ve learned some powerful lessons that completely changed the way I approach addiction, sobriety, and life.In this episode of Recovering Out Loud, I break down the most important principles that have helped me stay sober and continue growing in recovery.These are ideas I’ve learned from people who
Cross Addiction Explained: From Alcohol to Work, Gym, Gambling & More
Many people believe that once they quit drugs or alcohol, the addiction is over. But for many in recovery, the addiction doesn’t disappear — it just changes form.In this episode of Recovering Out Loud, Anthony breaks down cross addiction, the phenomenon where addictive patterns shift from substances to other behaviors like gambling, work, fitness, social media, shopping, or even relationships.Draw
How Addiction Impacts Families (And What You Can Do to Help)
Addiction doesn’t only affect the person using substances — it affects everyone around them.In this episode of Recovering Out Loud, Anthony shares a deeply personal and honest conversation about what happens when addiction enters a family. From broken trust and emotional chaos to the painful cycle of hope and disappointment, families often find themselves trying to fix something they cannot contro
How to Use Spirituality in Recovery - Why Willpower Alone Isn’t Enough
In this episode, I break down what spirituality actually is — especially for people in recovery who don’t believe in God, grew up religious, or feel triggered by the word “spiritual.”Spirituality in recovery isn’t dogma — it’s connection, grounding, meaning, and a power greater than your impulsive brain. Today I share practical spiritual tools, how I rebuilt my relationship with a higher power aft
Anger and Resentment: The Emotional Trap That Leads to Relapse
In this episode of Recovering Out Loud, Anthony dives deep into one of the most dangerous emotional patterns in addiction recovery: resentment.Often called the number one offender of relapse, resentment quietly builds in the background through replayed anger, unmet expectations, and stories we tell ourselves about other people.Anthony explains the difference between anger and resentment, why anger
Why Triggers and Obsessions Exist After You Quit — and Why They Go Away
Have you ever been having a normal day when a smell, a song, or a place suddenly pulls you back into the past?In this episode, we talk about intrusive memories in recovery — why they happen, why they feel so intense, and why they don’t mean relapse, failure, or weakness.Intrusive memories aren’t something you choose. They’re automatic nervous system responses that often show up in addiction recove
Complacency in Recovery: When “I’m Fine” Becomes Dangerous
Complacency in recovery rarely announces itself. It creeps in quietly—disguised as comfort, routine, and “I’m fine.”In this episode, Anthony Degasperis breaks down how complacency develops in recovery, why it’s one of the most common relapse pathways, and how to recognize the early warning signs before things spiral. Drawing from lived experience, Anthony explains why relapse is usually a process,
Abstinent or in Recovery? What’s the Difference—and Why It Matters
“You can be sober… and still be miserable.”You cannot be miserable and sober for long - it doesn't work A lot of people hear sobriety and assume it automatically equals recovery.But if you’ve been around this long enough—or lived it—you know that’s not true.Today we’re breaking down:What ‘dry drunk’ actually meansThe difference between being sober and being in recoveryWhy people relapse even after
Perception in Recovery : Pain Is Inevitable. Suffering Is Optional
my apologies in advanced for the poor video quality on this oneWhy can two people experience the same trauma in recovery — and one relapse while the other grows?The answer isn’t willpower. It’s perception.In this episode of Recovering Out Loud, we unpack how distorted thinking fuels cravings, emotional suffering, and relapse — and how recovery teaches us to reinterpret pain instead of escaping it.
We Were Dancing Naked on Tables Before We Finally Found Recovery
Welcome to Soul School. Today i sat down with Jessica and Nicole from the Soul School Podcast and we got real deep to uncover, discover and discard old ideas. You can find them on instagram here : https://www.instagram.com/therealsoulschool/What if addiction isn’t about alcohol, drugs, or behaviors—but thinking?In this episode, we break down why money obsession, judgment, anger, and control feel j
10-Minute Mindfulness Guided Meditation for Addiction Recovery | Ride Urges Without Relapsing
Cravings don’t mean you’re failing.They mean your nervous system is activated.This 10-minute mindfulness meditation for addiction recovery is designed to help you sit with urges without reacting, using principles from Buddhist mindfulness (Anapanasati & insight practice) adapted for modern recovery.This is not about forcing calm, positive thinking, or “making cravings go away.”It’s about learn
I Went to Jail Multiple Times : Shame, Secrecy, and Losing Integrity in Recovery
This episode is a raw, unfiltered conversation about relapse after long-term sobriety, shame, integrity, and why early recovery relationships can quietly derail progress.Anthony sits down with a Steven W who shares his full arc: early substance use, jail, treatment, sober living, loss of close friends, repeated relapses, and finally what changed after hitting the true “jumping-off point.” Together
Emotional Sobriety: Staying Sober When Your Feelings Aren’t
We talk a lot about getting sober — but far less about what happens after the substances are gone.In this episode, I break down emotional sobriety: what it really means, why so many people struggle emotionally even years into recovery, and how emotional overload often comes before relapse.This isn’t about being calm all the time or “positive thinking.”It’s about learning how to feel emotions witho
I Lived in a Crack House : The Truth About Desperation Before Recovery Clicks
Relapse doesn’t usually happen because someone “stops caring.”It happens when the mind becomes unsafe — when fear, shame, isolation, and obsession quietly take over.In this episode, we have an honest, unfiltered conversation about what the final days before recovery really feel like — the desperation, the mental chaos, and the moment when surrender finally becomes possible.We talk about why coming
My Wife Caught Me Doing Coke : Sober, But Still Struggling: The Part Recovery Podcasts Skip
Today i sat down with my good friend Ray. Relapse doesn’t usually start with picking up a substance.It starts quietly — with secrecy, self-deception, and the belief that “I’ll handle this on my own.”In this episode, we have a brutally honest conversation about what relapse actually looks like after time in recovery — when you’re no longer in crisis, no longer desperate, and no longer asking for he
How I Relapsed on Steroids and ADHD Meds After 7 Years Sober | Anthony's Addiction Recovery Story
Welcome to al the new listeners! I'm so glad you're here. This is my story in a 20 minute episode, I hope you get something out of it. Relapse doesn’t start with drugs — it starts with secrets. In this raw episode, I explain how addiction convinces you you’re fine, productive, and “different this time,” even when your life looks good on the outside.I break down how steroids, ADHD meds, and stimula
I Rolled My Truck Into a Ditch : I Quit Drinking — Then Gambling Took Everything
Today's guest is Logan from New Generation Sobriety. Logan Battled alcoholism and gambling addiction until he went to his first rehab at 17 years old. After getting sober and celebrating some time under his belt, he relapsed on slot machines until he lost it all. Gambling addiction is one of the most dangerous and misunderstood addictions because it’s invisible. Unlike drugs or alcohol, there are
I “Should” be Doing Better Sober and in Recovery
Today Allen Kharlip, Clinical Supervisor at Addiction Rehab Toronto and good friend, returns to recovering out loud as we open up about current events. In this raw conversation, we unpack how social media becomes a new addiction for people in recovery — triggering comparison, inadequacy, obsessive thinking, and emotional relapse.If you’ve ever scrolled Instagram and felt worse afterward, you’re no
Overcoming Fear in Sobriety: Tools for Anxiety, Uncertainty & Emotional Sobriety
In today’s episode of Recovering Out Loud, Anthony breaks down one of the biggest challenges in sobriety: the fear of the future. If you struggle with overthinking, catastrophizing, anxiety about relapse, financial insecurity, or the pressure of rebuilding your life — this episode will ground you.You’ll learn:• The psychology and neurology behind fear in recovery• Why uncertainty feels dangerous w
Community Q&A on Sobriety, Boundaries, and Healing
In this community-driven episode, Anthony dives into the real questions you submitted — from alternative paths to sobriety to emotional boundaries, routines, family support, and how recovery skills apply to everyday life. No sugarcoating. No one-size-fits-all solutions. Just practical guidance from lived experience and professional training.We cover:• Why 12-step programs aren’t the only option• W
Why Relapse Happens & How to Prevent It — Science-Backed, Real Recovery Experience
Most people think relapse is a single moment — but it’s not.In this video, I break down the three phases of relapse (emotional → mental → physical) and explain why relapse actually starts weeks or months before the first drink or drug. Using my own experience — eight years sober before relapsing, multiple rehabs, and now working in addiction counseling — plus the science behind cravings and dopami
I Had a Wine Uber Guy : The Myth of “Fun” Drinking & the Reality of Sobriety
“We almost died… so we have to talk about it.”This line says everything.This episode is a deep, unfiltered look into addiction, relapse, shame, near-death moments, and why telling the truth becomes a responsibility once you survive something you shouldn’t have.Today I sat down with the ladies from Girl, Undrunk - a podcast about addiction and sobriety. We talk openly about:Relapse triggered by bod
Going Out Sober in Recovery
Going out sober is one of the hardest early-recovery milestones — but it DOES get easier.In this episode, I share the exact tools, mindset shifts, and sober strategies that helped me get through clubs, parties, concerts, holidays, and social events without drinking or using.You’ll learn:• Why going out sober feels so awkward at first• How to survive the “10–30 minute anxiety spike”• The sober ritu
12-Step vs. Non-12-Step vs. Therapy: What Actually Helps in Recovery?
AA? SMART? Refuge? Therapy? Coaching?If you’ve ever tried to get sober and felt overwhelmed by all the recovery options out there, this video breaks everything down in a simple, honest, and non-judgmental way. Whether you're sober-curious, in early recovery, or coming back after relapse — this guide will help you understand what’s out there and how to choose the right recovery modality for you
Is Sobriety Supposed to Feel Boring? (The Truth About Dopamine in Recovery)
Is sobriety supposed to feel boring?Short answer: yeah… sometimes it does. But there’s nothing wrong with you — your brain is literally recalibrating after years of artificial dopamine spikes from alcohol, cocaine, or whatever your drug of choice was.In today’s video, I break down why boredom happens in early recovery, how long the flat / plateau phase lasts, and what actually helps you rebuild mo
How to Get and Stay Sober Today : Cravings, Anxiety, Triggers & What to Expect in Early Recovery
Your first 30 days of sobriety can feel confusing, overwhelming, and honestly… scary.In this video, I break down exactly what to expect in early recovery — week by week — so you don’t have to go through it alone.We’ll talk about withdrawal, cravings, sleep, anxiety, emotional ups & downs, what’s normal, and how to make it through the first month alcohol-free.This video is for you if:• You’re o
Big Book Daily Meditation Readings P. 86-88
From the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous Page 86-88on awakening Follow Us:JOIN ME ON MY SOCIALS - FREE RECOVERY GUIDE AND RECOVERY COACHING https://linktr.ee/Recoveringoutloudpod🌐 Website: recoveringoutloud.ca📱 Socials: @RecoveringOutLoudPod (Instagram, X, TikTok & more)🔗 All Links: linktr.ee/Recoveringoutloudpod💡 Helpful Resources for Addiction & Recovery🇨🇦 National (Canada-Wide) Resou
Methadone, Suboxone & the Fentanyl Crisis: What Recovery Really Takes
This episode explores opioid addiction, methadone and Suboxone treatment, fentanyl risks, withdrawal, and the emotional toll of relapse. Kate from CATC breaks down how opioid agonist therapy works, why shame keeps people stuck, and what treatment centers can do better. Anthony shares raw stories from relapse, detox, and how connection, honesty, and support saved his life. If you want real insight
From Blackouts to Barbells: Rebuilding My Life Through Movement
In this episode of Recovering Out Loud, we dive into a raw and honest conversation about relapse, body language, hidden pain, and the transformation that happens when recovery is paired with purpose.We unpack the moment a friend could see a relapse coming before the person struggling could even admit it. We talk about the shame, denial, and the sixth-sense intuition people in recovery often develo
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