Better Sex

Ep. 412: What couples therapy misses about the body Aug 17, 2026 2259 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Pavini Moray about why somatic approaches are vital in couples and sex therapy, especially when talk therapy leads to over-processing without change. Pavini shares their path from Montessori education to sexological bodywork and how embodiment, intentional attention, and practice support sexual and relational healing. They discuss how working with both part

Ep. 411: The Book of Ecstasy: Finding Joy, Connection, and Transformation Beyond Orgasm Aug 10, 2026 2290 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Barbara Carrellas, author of The Book of Ecstasy, about ecstasy as a transformative state that goes beyond pleasure, sex, and orgasm into connection, awe, and ego-dissolution. Carrellas describes how her work was shaped during the AIDS crisis in 1980s New York, where grief and catharsis often fueled joy, and explains ecstasy as a reset button that can be pe

Ep. 410: [Soapbox] Tuesday Is Different Than Thursday: Communicating Pleasure in Sex Aug 6, 2026 361 Jessa argues that each person is responsible for their own sexual pleasure by learning what feels good, what turns them on, and then clearly sharing that information with a partner. She emphasizes that partners aren’t mind readers and don’t have the same instant feedback loop as masturbation, so words, demonstrations, and usable vocabulary are crucial for guiding touch. Sharing preferences should

Ep. 409: Reclaiming Desire After 50: Nervous System Regulation, Novelty, and Communication Aug 3, 2026 1934 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman talks with Dr. Julie Merriman about her book, Are We Gonna Have Sex or What?, focused on helping women over 50 reclaim pleasure and desire. Merriman explains that decreased libido is often less about menopause alone and more about decades of high-functioning “survival mode” that dysregulates the nervous system, tightens the body, and takes pleasure offline; hormone su

Ep. 408: [Soapbox] When Lower Desire is a Mask Jul 30, 2026 437 In this Soapbox episode, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman explores how the common higher-desire/lower-desire framework is helpful but doesn’t always accurately describe what’s happening in a relationship. She outlines two main ways desire can be “masked”: a higher-desire partner may detach from wanting sex after repeated disappointment, becoming resigned and avoiding sex because it’s less painful tha

Ep. 407: The Science of Pleasure, Trauma & Longevity Jul 27, 2026 3328 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews functional medicine clinician and neurofeedback specialist Dr. Stephanie Rimka about emotional regulation as a biological process involving safety, the vagus nerve, brainwaves, hormones, and co-regulation through relationships. Rimka describes how chronic sympathetic activation undermines metabolic health, longevity, and mitochondrial function, framing trau

Ep. 406: Gender, Loneliness, and Reconnection Jul 20, 2026 3826 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman welcomes Anthony Silard back to discuss research-based, average gender differences in relationships, community-building, and loneliness. Silard explains how women tend to have more robust “social convoys” than men, contributing to outcomes like higher male mortality after a spouse’s death, and describes stress responses such as “tend and befriend.” He outlines severe

Ep. 405: The Truth About Erectile Dysfunction Jul 13, 2026 1904 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Johns Hopkins urologic surgeon and researcher Dr. Arthur Burnett about erectile dysfunction from a holistic biopsychosocial perspective. Burnett explains how erections work as a vascular function regulated by the nervous system, and how physical factors like hypertension, atherosclerosis, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and nerve or hormone issues can int

Ep. 404: [Soapbox] HRT is not Primarily About Libido Jul 9, 2026 440 In a soapbox episode, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman clarifies a common misconception that hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is mainly meant to increase libido. Drawing from two recent conversations—one with a post-menopausal client experiencing painful sex and resisting HRT as a “fix,” and another with a man wondering why his wife’s HRT didn’t dramatically raise desire—she explains that libido cha

Ep. 403: Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy for Intimacy and Sex Jul 6, 2026 2084 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews therapist Hannah Buzzo about psychedelic-assisted therapy for intimacy and sex, for individuals and couples. Buzzo describes her background in addiction and trauma work (including EMDR), her training in trauma treatment with psychedelics, and how psychedelic work can make it easier to address taboo topics like sexuality and soften defenses in a safe, compas

Ep. 402: [Soapbox] Good Faith Communication vs Gaslighting Jul 2, 2026 678 In this soapbox episode, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman explains why effective communication requires holding our “reality” loosely, since perception is filtered and interpreted by the brain, and partners often experience the same event differently. She describes a process of sharing each person’s story to feel seen, take accountability, and problem-solve—while emphasizing it only works when both p

Ep. 401: Signs You May Be Headed For Divorce Jun 29, 2026 1883 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews therapist and divorce support group leader Oona Metz about how emotional and sexual disconnection often contributes to divorce, drawing on Metz’s 15 years of work with hundreds of women and her book Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women. They discuss common drivers of divorce (abuse, affairs, addiction), plus inequality in parenting/household lab

Ep. 400: [Soapbox] Care and Curiosity: The Foundation for Understanding Your Partner Jun 25, 2026 420 In a soapbox episode, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman argues that a basic foundation of relationships is caring about a partner’s wellbeing and taking their unhappiness seriously, even without agreeing with their interpretation. She explains how the brain filters and assigns meaning to events, so two partners can experience the same situation differently, making “right vs. wrong” arguments unproduct

Ep. 399: How Couples Can Rebuild Desire Jun 22, 2026 1897 Host and sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman talks with Courtney Fay Long about common challenges couples face with desire discrepancy, losing spark, and the pressure–rejection cycle. Long shares how prioritizing sex earlier in the day, expanding sex beyond intercourse into connection, and using “all-day foreplay” (texts, appreciation, support) can help, along with resting to relax the nervous system be

Ep. 398: Intimate Conversations: Co-creating Authentic Sexual Experiences Jun 15, 2026 2254 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman talks with Dr. Teresa Johnson about why and how couples can have healthier conversations about sex, including desire changes, boundaries, consent, and emotional intimacy. They discuss cultural taboos and shame that keep people silent, how comparisons to porn, media, or “how it used to be” distort expectations, and common pitfalls like avoidance, defensiveness, and fee

Ep. 397: [Soapbox] Not Tonight and the Seven Dwarves Jun 11, 2026 505 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman discusses a common dynamic between higher- and lower-desire partners, warning that taking a partner’s “not tonight” personally leads to feeling rejected and eventually showing up as an unsexy “dwarf” (grumpy, needy, whiny, resentful, withdrawn), which creates pressure and consequences that reinforce obligation sex. She explains that this cycle is unsustainable and not

Ep. 396: Using NLP to Improve Intimacy Jun 8, 2026 2504 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Josh Davis about neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) as practical, research-supported tools drawn from psychotherapy to improve mindset, communication, and relationship dynamics around intimacy and sex. Davis explains NLP’s origins and introduces “well-formed outcomes,” including focusing on what’s in your control, stating goals positively, specifying contex

Ep. 395: [Soapbox] Why the “Devil’s Bargain” Fails: Shared Responsibility for Initiation Jun 4, 2026 441 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman explains David Schnarch’s term “the devil’s bargain,” where the higher desire partner stops initiating sex and leaves initiation entirely to the lower desire partner. She describes three common origins: a well-intentioned attempt by the higher desire partner to reduce pressure and avoid painful rejection; a request by the lower desire partner to avoid saying no and to

Ep. 394: From Resentment to Forgiveness to Love Jun 1, 2026 2604 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Anthony Silard about his book Love and Suffering and how loneliness and disconnection affect relationships. Silard describes a “love progression model” of acceptance, forgiveness, gratitude, and love, each requiring overcoming suffering, resentment, judgment, and “incarceration,” respectively. He distinguishes aloneness from loneliness and solitude, shares

Ep. 393: Ecstasy/MDMA for helping couples heal and enhance their relationship May 25, 2026 1682 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Jonathan Robinson about using MDMA (ecstasy) with couples to accelerate therapy, emphasizing a legal disclaimer and harm reduction. Robinson describes renewed interest in psychedelic therapies, claims MDMA can make deep couples work happen in hours, and contrasts it with drugs like psilocybin or ketamine because it supports therapeutic interaction without h

Ep. 392 [Soapbox] Afraid to find out it's hopeless May 21, 2026 537 In this soapbox episode of the Better Sex Podcast, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman describes a common barrier to seeking help for sexual issues: the fear that if you “open the box” and really look at your sex life, you might discover it’s hopeless—like Schrödinger’s cat being alive or dead. She acknowledges how much courage it takes to address intimacy struggles, but argues that avoidance carries ma

Ep. 391: Healing Sexual Dysfunction Through The Body May 18, 2026 2759 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews pelvic work practitioners Ashley Rose and Martin Beaudoin about how pelvic restrictions and misdiagnosed physical issues can contribute to low libido, anorgasmia, dyspareunia, vulvodynia, pudendal neuralgia, and relationship strain. They describe pelvic work as broader than Kegels, involving fascia, nerves, organ positioning, blood and lymph flow, breath, a

Ep. 390: [Soapbox] Easygoing; Hard to Live With May 14, 2026 522 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman explains how being “easygoing” or people-pleasing—rarely stating preferences and letting a partner decide—can create a hidden burden in relationships. She describes clients who didn’t realize how constant small decisions (meals, plans, TV) led to their partner’s decision fatigue and reduced connection because the partner couldn’t encounter their wants, opinions, and p

389: Adventures in Polyamory May 11, 2026 2298 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Natalie Davis about how her marriage shifted from assumed monogamy to swinging and then polyamory after an affair about 15 years into her relationship. Davis describes early insecurity, rules for safety, and how communication and healing helped her and her husband rebuild trust. She explains kitchen-table polyamory, living in a “resident V” with her husband

388: [Soapbox] Comfort and Growth Cycles in Long Term Relationships May 7, 2026 399 In this soapbox episode recorded on the road, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman shares a concept from David Schnarch about the natural rhythm of long-term relationships: alternating comfort cycles and growth cycles. Growth cycles require effort, change, and transformation, and when partners do that work they earn a new “normal” they can relax into until the next growth phase arrives. Jessa explains th

387: Bad Marriage Advice May 4, 2026 1733 On Better Sex, host and sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews relationship coach Monica Tanner about her book Bad Marriage Advice, written initially for her son before his marriage. Tanner shares how her parents’ divorce and her own early marital struggles led her to study relationships and train in Relational Life Therapy and sex-related coaching. They discuss common couple dynamics (pursuer–d

386: [Soapbox] The Plight of the Higher Desire Partner Apr 30, 2026 480 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman discusses the “plight” of the higher-desire partner who wants sex to be part of a loving relationship but feels stuck in a catch-22: bringing it up can be labeled as pushing and create more shutdown, while staying quiet can make the lower-desire partner assume everything is fine. She encourages finding a “sweet spot” for advocating without nagging, and suggests avoidi

385: The 5 Love Languages: in the bedroom Apr 27, 2026 1496 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman talks with Krish Phua, a certified sexologist and intimacy and sexual wellness therapist at Underneath the Moon Singapore, about applying Gary Chapman’s five love languages (physical touch, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts) to erotic connection. They address the common misconception that “physical touch” simply means sex or entitles someone t

384: [Soapbox] Choose to Focus on the Anti-Fear Apr 23, 2026 497 In this soapbox episode of Better Sex, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman shares a client-inspired lesson on how fear-based conversations can spiral into a reactive cycle that fuels negativity and creates the outcomes partners most dread. Drawing on the idea that events lead to thoughts, interpretations, emotions, and then actions, she introduces the concept of the “anti-fear”—the opposite of a feared

383: Yoni Mapping with Freya Graf Apr 20, 2026 2398 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Freya Graf about yoni mapping therapy and how she combines it with internal pelvic release work. Freya shares how her own history of shame, body image struggles, and fear around intimacy led her into this work, explains what “yoni” means and why she’s moving toward more clinical language, and walks through a typical 3–4 hour session (extended intake/sex edu

382: [Soapbox] Activities for connection Apr 16, 2026 555 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman continues last week’s discussion about the potential of MDMA-assisted couples work, emphasizing she is not encouraging MDMA use because it remains a Schedule I illegal substance outside of research. Drawing from a recent 30-hour MDMA-assisted therapy training, she shares several couple “games” that can be helpful with or without an altered state: an appreciation game

381: The Sure Thing - A strategy to prioritize intimacy with Elana Auerbach Apr 13, 2026 1793 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Elana Auerbach about her book, “The Sure Thing: A Pleasure Practice to Revive the Spark,” and how a consistent weekly intimacy ritual can rebuild connection in long-term relationships. Elana shares her background as a “good girl” who followed an expected life path, her divorce after realizing a lack of chemistry, and later meeting her husband Bill through a

380: [Soapbox] The potential for MDMA in coupes work Apr 9, 2026 500 Sex therapist Jess Zimmerman shares what she’s learning from a 30-hour training on guiding people who choose to use MDMA (Ecstasy/Molly), emphasizing she is not endorsing illegal substance use and is focused on the research and potential pending FDA approval. She describes MAPS’s Phase 3 clinical trials using an MDMA-assisted protocol for severe, treatment-resistant PTSD, noting results where abou

379: Mindfulness Based Porn Addiction Recovery with Jeremy Lipkowitz Apr 6, 2026 2734 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Jeremy Lipkowitz about porn addiction (or compulsive/problematic porn use) through a Buddhist-informed lens that frames addiction as using rewarding behaviors to escape or numb unpleasant emotions. Jeremy shares his own history of escalating porn use from childhood into college and describes subtle harms including impacts on intimacy, bedroom functioning, p

378: [Soapbox] When neither person wants sex Apr 2, 2026 368 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman answers a listener question about what to do when both partners have low desire for sex. She explains that if both people are happy not having sex, there is no problem to solve. If the couple wants sex to be part of their relationship but neither experiences spontaneous desire or initiates, she recommends understanding and working with reactive desire—where interest m

377: Menopause BioType - Individualizing Care with Dr. Jennifer Berman Mar 30, 2026 2412 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman hosts Dr. Jennifer Berman to discuss menopause, sexual health, and individualized hormone care. Berman explains how witnessing the medical disparity after Viagra’s rise pushed her to pioneer women’s sexual health, and how her own early perimenopause shaped her work with hormone replacement therapy (HRT). They address common menopause symptoms and argue sexual health i

376: [Soapbox] The lower desire partner feels like they can't win Mar 26, 2026 358 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman shares a “soapbox” episode addressing a common belief among lower desire partners: “I can’t win; it’ll never be enough.” She explains this mindset becomes self-defeating when the goalposts are set by the higher desire partner’s satisfaction instead of treating intimacy as a shared playing field where both meet in the middle. Zimmerman outlines the lower desire partner

375: When Money Stress Creates Distance in the Bedroom with Heather Howard Mar 23, 2026 2269 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Heather Howard, a sexuality counselor and financial coach, about the strong parallels between money and sex in couples’ relationships. Howard shares how pelvic pain shifted her from a finance career into sex counseling and later into financial coaching after repeatedly seeing money conflicts fueling distance, resentment, and desire problems. They discuss pa

374: [Soapbox] How there is hope even when they close the door Mar 20, 2026 673 In a soapbox episode, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman responds to an email from a listener whose wife says she isn’t interested in fixing their sex life and accuses him of only caring about sex. Jessa explains there can still be hope and outlines three areas to explore: the overall relationship (conflict, lack of emotional connection, feeling like roommates), the couple’s entrenched desire-differenc

373: Hormonal Optimization, Metabolic Health, and Longevity for Better Sex with Jay Campbell Mar 16, 2026 2242 Sex therapist Jess Zimmerman interviews biohacker and author Jay Campbell about hormone optimization and metabolic health as foundations for wellbeing, longevity, libido, and sexual function. Campbell shares how discovering very low testosterone after a sports injury led him into researching therapeutic hormones, peptides, and lifestyle interventions, eventually writing bestselling books and a new

372: [Soapbox] The three biggest apology mistakes Mar 12, 2026 441 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman shares a soapbox episode on three common apology mistakes that prevent real relationship repair. First, apologizing too quickly can skip the empathy your partner needs to feel understood, so she encourages “climbing into their movie” before taking accountability. Second, phrases like “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry that happened to you” misuse “I’m sorry,”

371: People pleasing is ruining your sex life with Darshana Avila Mar 9, 2026 2305 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Darshana Avila (featured on Netflix’s Sex, Love & Goop) about “erotic wholeness,” defined as integrating all parts of ourselves and relating to eroticism as life-force vitality that can fuel sexuality, creativity, and relationships. They explore how people-pleasing functions as a protective strategy—suppressing authenticity to maintain connection—and ho

370: [Soapbox] Choose a more empowering story Mar 5, 2026 582 In this soapbox episode of The Better Sex Podcast, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman discusses the power of staying positive by questioning the stories and interpretations our brains create. She explains how people often react to filtered, meaning-filled perceptions rather than reality, then reinforce negative narratives—especially in relationships—by focusing on blame, hopelessness, and how stuck thi

369: Protecting Sexual Freedoms with Mandy Salley Mar 2, 2026 1825 Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Mandy Salley of the Woodhull Foundation about sexual freedom as a human right rooted in bodily autonomy and the ability to say yes or no. Mandy shares how peer sex education in college, graduate training in social work and human sexuality, and years volunteering with Woodhull led to her advocacy work blending sexuality, policy, and activism. They discuss ho

368 [Soapbox] The transformative potential of a couples' intensive Feb 26, 2026 643 In this soapbox episode of the Better Sex Podcast, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman explains why some couples may benefit from a couples intensive instead of weekly or biweekly therapy. She describes limits of short, spaced-out sessions—often spent catching up or addressing the latest conflict—and how real emotional breakthroughs can require uninterrupted time for nervous systems to settle, vulnerabi

367: Supple, Luscious, Fuller Breasts with Jillian Wisborg Feb 23, 2026 1842 Jessa Zimmerman interviews Jillian Wisborg, founder of Booby Grow, about a natural breast growth and firming program combining herbal supplementation, breast/nipple massage, and nutrition changes. Jillian shares that she created the program after losing weight and losing breast volume, and wanted an alternative to implants due to cost, maintenance, and reported health issues. She explains her back

366: [Soapbox] Should i tell her about the viagra? Feb 19, 2026 468 In this soapbox episode of The Better Sex Podcast, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman responds to a coaching-call question: whether to tell a partner when you’ve taken Viagra. She describes a client who has a prescription, experiences no negative side effects, and has been taking the medication without telling his wife to avoid creating pressure or expectations for sex. Jessa explains that Viagra helps

365: Polyagony - Common Mistakes in Ethical Non-Monogamy with Candace Sjogren Feb 16, 2026 1955 In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman speaks with Candace Sjogren about the intricacies and common mistakes involved in polyamory, as addressed in Sjogren’s book, 'Polyagony'. They discuss personal experiences, motivations behind polyamorous relationships, and essential strategies for maintaining healthy open relationships. The conversation touches on setting boundaries,

364: [Soapbox] Avoid the Quota Trap Feb 12, 2026 449 In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host and sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman discusses the challenges of setting quotas for sexual frequency in relationships. She shares insights from a recent coaching call, emphasizing that focusing on frequency can often lead to feelings of obligation and resentment, particularly for lower desire partners. Instead, Jessa advises couples to create flexible,

363: Anal Sex for Beginners with Dr. Evan Goldstein Feb 9, 2026 2468 In this episode of Better Sex, host and sex therapist, Jessa Zimmerman, interviews Dr. Evan Goldstein, an expert in anal sexual wellness and author of 'Butt Seriously.' Dr. Goldstein discusses the fundamentals of anal sex for beginners, focusing on key aspects such as muscle relaxation, preparation, and safety. They delve into common myths around anal sex, the anatomical considerations, and the im

362: [Soapbox] What “My Love Language Is Touch” Gets Wrong Feb 5, 2026 367 In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, hosted by sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman, the focus is on the concept of love languages and their impact on intimate relationships. Zimmerman discusses the common misunderstanding that having 'touch' as a love language equates to a need for sex, and how this misconception can create pressure and resistance in relationships. She emphasizes the importance of

361: Navigating Your Sexuality After Losing Your Beloved with Joan Price Feb 2, 2026 2320 In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, hosted by sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman, guest Joan Price discusses her book 'Sex After Grief.' Joan shares her personal journey of rekindling her sexual life after the loss of her beloved Robert. She emphasizes the unique timeline every individual experiences in returning to sexual pleasure post-grief and addresses common challenges, such as the misconce

360: [Soapbox] They put effort into every other problem Jan 29, 2026 359 In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman explores the common misunderstanding surrounding lower desire partners in relationships. She discusses how a lack of evident effort towards sexual intimacy problems is often misinterpreted as indifference. Jessa explains that it's more about a lack of hope and feeling stuck rather than a lack of care. The episode provides ins

359: [Personal Story] Working through vaginismus with a surrogate partner Jan 26, 2026 2407 In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman welcomes Junvi Ola, who shares her personal story of overcoming vaginismus, a condition that prevented her from having intercourse until the age of 36. Junvi discusses her journey, which included working with a sex therapist, using dilators, and eventually hiring a surrogate partner. The episode provides insights and inspiration for t

358: [Soapbox] We should be talking about sex Jan 22, 2026 421 In this soapbox episode of 'The Better Sex Podcast,' sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman emphasizes the importance of talking about sex more openly. Jessa explores the cultural taboo surrounding discussions about sex and how it leads to feelings of isolation and shame. Sharing her personal experiences and observations, she highlights the common struggles couples face and encourages listeners to initiate

357: Brain Health and Trauma with Dr. Hector Rodriguez Jan 19, 2026 1613 In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman is joined by psychiatrist Dr. Hector Rodriguez to discuss the effects of trauma on sexual desire, libido, pleasure, and satisfaction. Dr. Rodriguez shares insights on how trauma can impact intimate relationships and how the brain can be rewired to facilitate healing and enjoyment of sex. He dives into the role of dopamine and oxytocin

356: [Soapbox] The problem with trying to fix your partner's desire Jan 15, 2026 428 In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman discusses the common issue of differences in sexual desire among couples. She emphasizes the importance of open communication and partnership when addressing this issue, rather than resorting to quick fixes like CBD gummies or sex toys without mutual consent. Jessa explains why these well-intentioned solutions often backfire and are p

355: Truly Connecting In This Digital Age with Dr. Jacquie Del Rosario Jan 12, 2026 1935 In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman interviews Dr. Jacquie Del Rosario about the invasive impact of technology on relationships. They discuss how excessive screen time can weaken intimacy and emotional connections, and how couples can set boundaries to deepen their face-to-face interactions. Dr. Del Rosario shares insights on how technology has altered dating and wooing

354: The Strategic Keys To Peak Sexual Performance with Mitch Hartwell Jan 5, 2026 2830 In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, hosted by sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman, legendary adult film actor Mitch Hartwell shares his unique insights on male sexual performance. Drawing from his two-decade career in the adult film industry and his expertise in neurolinguistic programming, Mitch discusses the psychological and physical strategies men can utilize to improve their sexual experienc

353: [Soapbox] We don't have to decide right now Jan 1, 2026 435 In this episode of Better Sex, host and sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman discusses a practical strategy for improving communication and collaboration in intimate relationships. She emphasizes the importance of understanding each other's perspectives and removing the pressure of making immediate decisions. By fostering empathy and seeking a win-win solution, couples can create a more harmonious decisi

352: Act pregnant now to get pregnant later with Gabriela Rosa Dec 29, 2025 2402 In this episode of Better Sex, host Jess Zimmerman, a sex therapist, speaks with Gabriela Rosa about overcoming difficult fertility challenges. Rosa shares her journey into the field of infertility, which started with a broad interest in nutrition and naturopathy, leading her to specialize in reproductive health. They discuss the impact of minor factors on fertility, the importance of acting pregn

351: [Soapbox] Don't apologize too fast Dec 25, 2025 456 In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host and sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman discusses the concept of not apologizing too quickly in intimate relationships. She explains why immediate apologies can often miss the mark and how important it is to first listen and empathize with your partner's feelings and experiences before apologizing. Jessa elaborates on why understanding the emotional impact

350: Coming out later in life with Emily Rich Dec 22, 2025 2164 In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman is joined by Emily Rich, who shares her personal journey of questioning her sexuality and coming out later in life. Emily discusses the factors that disconnected her from her sexuality, her 'wake-up moment,' and the subsequent process of coming out to herself and others. The conversation explores the intersection of beliefs, upbringin

349: [Soapbox] The problem with sensate focus Dec 18, 2025 517 In this episode of Better Sex, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman critiques the traditional sensate focus technique frequently recommended in sex therapy. She outlines her concerns about its sequential, goal-oriented nature, the problematic idea of doing things to a passive partner, and the lack of emphasis on pleasure. Jessa shares her alternative approach, which focuses on pleasure and connection thr

348: Dealing With Rapid Ejaculation with Andre Lazarus Dec 15, 2025 1870 In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman is joined by sexual wellness coach Andre Lazarus to discuss rapid ejaculation, formerly known as premature ejaculation. They explore how this condition impacts intimate relationships and offer strategies for managing and extending sexual pleasure. The conversation delves into Andre's background, causes of rapid ejaculation, p

347: [Soapbox] Are we even watching the same thing? Dec 11, 2025 503 In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman addresses a fascinating question from a coaching call about whether couples receive the same information from the same course. She explains how different interpretations arise due to the brain's filtering and meaning-making processes. She emphasizes the importance of curiosity and communication in bridging these gaps in under

346: Connection and Intimacy after Addiction and Trauma with Vanessa Carlisle Dec 8, 2025 2415 In this episode of the Better Sex podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman engages in a meaningful conversation with Vanessa Carlisle about reclaiming intimacy and pleasure after addiction and trauma. Vanessa discusses her personal and professional experience in navigating violence, trauma, and sex work. They explore the gaps in support for sexual recovery among trauma and addiction survivors, the cultural a

345: Loving the partner we have with Dr. Corey Allan Dec 1, 2025 2453 In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman welcomes guest Cory Allen to discuss the concept of learning to love the spouse you have, rather than an idealized version of them. They delve into topics such as managing expectations, taking personal responsibility, and the challenges that arise in intimate relationships. Cory emphasizes that love has no strings attached and involve

344: [Soapbox] What if I have zero desire for sex? Nov 27, 2025 586 In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, hosted by sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman, the focus is on helping partners with low or zero libido. Jessa discusses strategies to uncover obstacles that block desire, such as health issues, trauma, and mental health concerns, and provides methods to unlock potential desire. She highlights the concept of reactive desire and offers practical advice, encourag

343: Sex after Prostate Cancer Treatment with Dr. Jennifer Valli Nov 24, 2025 2994 In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host and sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman talks with Dr. Jennifer Valli about the impact of prostate cancer and its treatments on sexual health. Dr. Valli shares insights from her personal and professional experiences, emphasizing the lack of information patients often receive about sexual health post-treatment. They discuss the physical and psychological im

342: [Soapbox] The magic key of empathizing with the lower desire partner Nov 20, 2025 677 In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, sex therapist and host Jessa Zimmerman explores the critical importance of focusing on the lower desire partner in relationships struggling with mismatched libidos and desire discrepancy.Drawing from real insights from a recent couples coaching call, Jessa reveals why higher desire partners need to shift their perspective and develop deeper empathy and un

341: Liberating the full orgasm reflex with Rob Kancler Nov 17, 2025 5123 Welcome back to the Better Sex Podcast! In this powerful episode, host Jessa Zimmerman reunites with returning guest Rob Kancler for an in-depth conversation about transforming your intimate life through body-based practices.🔥 WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE:✨ Erotic Circuitry & Sexual WellnessUnderstanding your unique erotic circuitry and how to activate itUnlocking your full orgasmic poten

340: [Soapbox] Menopause is a destination Nov 13, 2025 340 In this soapbox episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman addresses the common misconception that menopause is a temporary phase. She explains that menopause is a permanent change, where hormone production reverts to levels similar to those of a young child. Drawing on a conversation with Dr. Irwin Goldstein, she emphasizes the importance of adapting to or treating this change, often

339: Sexual Emergence - Surprising Twists in our understanding of ourselves with Jess Levith Nov 10, 2025 1960 Jessa Zimmerman, host of Better Sex, welcomes back Jess Levith to discuss 'sexual emergence' – the fluid nature of sexuality and its changes over time. They delve into personal experiences and professional insights, covering the impact of life stages and contexts on sexual identity. Jess Levith explains how her unexpected crush led to a journey of self-discovery and the concept of sexual emergence

338: [Soapbox] The problem with "you're not meeting my needs" Nov 6, 2025 501 n this episode of The Betters Sex Podcast, hosted by sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman, the focus is on exploring the implications of framing sexual desires as needs within intimate relationships. Jessa discusses the potential problems that arise when individuals feel their sexual needs aren't being met by their partners, and stresses the importance of viewing desires from a mutual perspective. She en

337: From infidelity to full f&ck yes with Britton and Carolee Beckham Nov 3, 2025 2245 In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, hosted by sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman, guests Britton and Carolee share their transformative journey from a strict Mormon upbringing to a deeply connected and sexually fulfilling relationship. They discuss the challenges of infidelity, the lack of support within their church, and the pivotal role of trauma-informed healing practices, including psychedel

336: [Soapbox] What makes a healthy sexual relationship Oct 30, 2025 898 In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman explores what it means to have a healthy sexual relationship. She introduces the six principles of sexual health as identified by the World Health Organization: consent, non-exploitation, honesty, shared values, safety, and pleasure. Jessa delves into each principle, explaining its importance and providing insights on how cou

335: Rewriting sexual scripts with Lauren Elise Rogers Oct 27, 2025 1925 In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman interviews Lauren Elise Rogers, a certified holistic sexuality educator and intimacy coach. They discuss the journey from a sex-negative upbringing to crafting a fulfilling and values-aligned sex life. Lauren shares her personal story of overcoming restrictive beliefs rooted in a conservative religious background, through education, t

334: [Soapbox] What do you do about the lack of sex in your relationship Oct 23, 2025 1408 In this episode of Better Sex, hosted by sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman, listeners are guided through the complexities behind the lack of sexual intimacy in relationships. Zimmerman discusses the factors that contribute to this issue, such as changes in brain chemistry, desire discrepancies, emotional connection, and life stressors. She provides insight into common feelings, like shame and inadequa

333: Writing about sex to explore your sexuality with Tash Doherty Oct 20, 2025 1487 In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman welcomes author Tash Doherty to discuss her work on a spicy coming-of-age novel and a sex writing journal. Doherty shares her goal of helping people explore their sexuality and desires through writing while confronting shame. The conversation delves into her personal experiences, creative process, and the impact of sharing intimate st

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