Black Men Unlearning
Hosts Kyle Brooks and Edwin Lee invite listeners to unlearn the ideologies, thought patterns, and habits that get in the way of peace, freedom, and joy. The podcast focuses on personal growth, mental liberation, and self-reflection for Black men. Listeners are encouraged to follow the show on Instagram and contact the hosts via email for further engagement.
Episodes
Unsh*ttify Your Life
Turn off autopilot, big dog, we got things to do.More Perfect Union's Bowlero BreakdownMore Perfect Union on Dynamic Pricing in Grocery StoresEnshittification by Corey Doctorow
Dear Realists...
I guess nobody ever told youAll you must hold on toIs you
E.I.
Insecure references... John Mayer... Nelly... we in our Millennial bag. Emotional Intelligence by Peter Salovey and John D. MayerHoward Gardener's Theory of Multiple Intelligences
Sunshine & Rain
Afraid to die... afraid to live. Gotta be a better way.*"Bryan Johnson Has Spent Millions Trying Not To Die" by Dominique Mosbergen*"Two research teams reverse signs of aging in mice" by Catherine Offord*The Spirituals and the Blues by James Cone*"Ozymandias" by Percy Bysshe Shelley
Beyond Patriarchy (with Dr. J.T. Snipes and Dr. Christopher Travers)
Abolition without imagination is incomplete. Happy 5 years, BMU! Episode Links:The Communion CollectiveHere's the Story (Part of the Student Affairs Now Podcast)Blacktivism in the AcademyHow to Think Constellationally (TEDx Talk by Alex C. Lange)Prentis Hemphill's IG post on building community with traitors to patriarchy.How Europe Underdeveloped AfricaChris and JT's paper on rest
Something Stank...
The problem is patriarchy. We need to break it.Brittney Cooper's article in The Cut
Comfortable
We're not saying this to shake you up... We're just saying this to wake you up...
The Black Excellence Episode
We're back. We're Black. The pod? Excellent. Show Notes:The Compromise of 1877 Black Reconstruction by W.E.B. Du BoisPrivate Equity and Jersey Mikes
Duality
The guys are back with another episode of BMU. Reject the binary. Respect duality. Control thyself.
The Message
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss Ta-Nehisi Coates' The Message, highlighting its themes of storytelling, the narratives we're given, and what we decide to do with them, collectively.Discussion between Ezra Klein and Ta-Nehisi CoatesThe Case for Reparations by Ta-Nehisi Coates
Eyes Wide Open
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss tolerance, delusion, being nice versus being kind, and much more. Stay woke.
Heterofatalism
On this episode of BMU, the guys unpack their reaction to heterofatalism (a pessimistic view of heterosexual relationships). The discussion unpacks the oversimplification of the problems with dating, how the meaning of our rhetoric shifts, all the dating apps being owned by the same company, Shannon Sharpe paying what he owes, and much more!2nd Annual BMU Summer Book Club:We're reading The Mes
Stepping Back to Move Forward
On this episode of BMU, the guys explore the interconnectionsbetween our identities within and investments in community and our relationships with our friends. In an expansion of their TEDx Conversation, “Communal Change from the Inside Out,” they identify March 2020 as an inflection point for our understanding of how to be together and be present for and with each other. The conversation emphasiz
Post-Human Humanity
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss the issues with thebroad adoption of generative AI. The discussion questions technology’s ability to deliver us from oppression, the daily use of generative AI’s effect on our ability to think and learn, and the idea of ushering in an era of post-human humanity. The guys end the episode with a discussion of the Supreme Court’s ruling on gender affirming car
Showing Up for the Youth (with Dr. Greg Alfred & Dr. Chanté Meadows)
***Content warning***Discussions on self-harm are included within this episode. Please feel free to not engage with if this subject matter is not in alignment with where you are in your journey right now. It’s ok to take care of yourself.**********************On this episode of BMU, the guys welcome Dr. Greg Alfred and Dr. Chanté Meadows to the pod for a discussion on Black young people's ment
A Zebra Moment
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss Shedeur Sanders' fall in the 2025 NFL Draft and the circumstances that created the outcome. They highlight several themes and question why analysts covering the fallout have been so apt to eliminate one particular factor. Two more NFL stars get some smoke in "Really, Bruh?"
Dearly Beloved... (4th Anniversary Show)
On this episode of BMU, the guys commemorate the 4th anniversary of the pod by fumbling Prince lyrics! They also discuss our collective need for celebration, societal norms around men celebrating (birthdays, milestones, etc.), adopting consistent joy practices, and our need to be seen by each other.
Marvin Pendergrass
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss Marvin Sapp closing the doors of the church to raise a significant offering. The conversation considers the consequences of broadcasting church to the masses, how nuance can be lost in increasingly larger contexts, and what we mean by "authority" in the Christian context.Today's episode references an excellent book, Amusing Ourselves to Death,
Avoidance
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss their experiences with patterns of avoidance. The episode deals with how our rapidly changing world can push us toward avoidance behaviors, the links between avoidance and control, and avoidance as manipulation. The episode ends with a tribute to their late friend, Ernest Levert, Jr. The Royal Oak InitiativePlant the Power
Press Play
On this episode of BMU, the guys shake off the blues to talk about play. They highlight the pressures they faced in childhood to abandon play for fear of being seen as childish or not properly growing toward manhood. Their discussion considers their lack of examples of adults at play, the difference between play and escapism, and our general need for recreation.
Analog
On this episode of BMU, the guys consider what it means to navigate the world post-election.
Long Time No Sss... Hear?
On this episode of BMU, the guys end their long hiatus (a week longer than even they thought because of technical difficulties with the recording) with an explanation of where they've been and what they've been through. Their conversation considers how we balance our internal work with staying connected, leaning into processing grief, and being good community for each other in rough times.
"In the Name of Jesus" (with Rev. Landon J. Adams)
***Trigger Warning: Violence***
This episode discusses the details of Sonya Massey's murder by a now former police officer in Illinois. The circumstances around her death are discussed in detail.
On this episode of BMU, Rev. Landon J. Adams joins the guys to wrestle with the reality Sonya Massey's rebuke "in the name of Jesus" not saving her life. They contend with their expecta
All About Love Pt. 2
On this episode of BMU, the guys start with a discussion of the murder of Sonya Massey and the challenge of contending with myriad incidents of police brutality. If you want to skip this part, the second half of the discussion of All About Love: New Visions begins at 24:22.
BMU Summer Book Club continues with a review of bell hooks' incredible characterization of love.
This episode references
All About Love Pt. 1
On this episode of BMU, the guys launch the inaugural BMUS Summer Book Club with their discussion of the introduction through chapter 5 of bell hooks' All About Love: New Visions.
Caitlin Clark and the -Isms in Everything
On this episode of BMU, the guys offer their critiques of capitalism’s effect on the Juneteenth holiday before diving into a nuanced conversation about the Caitlin Clark discourse. The conversation begins with harsh critique of some of the foremost male voices in sports media and their lack of understanding and study regarding the complex dynamics associated with Clark’s meteoric rise. The guys di
We Are Each Other's Business
***CONTENT WARNING***
This episode includes discussion of self-harm. Please feel
free to not engage with the episode if this subject matter is not in alignment with where you are in your journey right now. It’s ok to take care of yourself.
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss the mental health crisis we’re facing in the United States and the particular challenges Black men face in dealing wi
Friendship between Men and Women (with Kyra Jones and Jonee Perry) (3rd Anniversary Show)
On this episode of BMU, the guys celebrate the 3rd year of BMU with the first women to join the podcast, their friends Kyra Jones and Jonee Perry. The group discusses the nuances of platonic friendships between straight men and women, the foundations of their beliefs about who gets to be friends, and their models for friendship between men and women. The episode includes stories about their parent
Are *You* That Somebody?
On this episode of BMU, the guys explore our romanticization of relationships and how those narratives fail us in practice. They revisit the foundations of what they learned about seeking relationships from elders as young men, consider how media shaped their expectations of how relationships would play out in their lives, and detail the internal work we all need to do to show up well in relations
Baldwin and Black Rage
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss Black rage in the
context of James Baldwin’s famous quote, “to be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a state of rage almost all of the time…” Their discussion probes the value of rage, our desire to dispel rage without offering it legitimacy, and what it means to accept that folks have a right to be angry. They explore the di
Stakes is High
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss the dangers of
disconnecting ourselves from our emotions. They consider the ways we learn that our emotions aren’t worthy of time and attention and how much of our orientation to our emotional responses is connected to generational grief. The conversation includes reflections on the cost of abandoning empathy, the need for us to bear each other’s burdens, a
Friendship Between Queer and Straight Men (with Dr. Derrick Tillman-Kelly)
On this episode of BMU, Dr. Derrick Tillman-Kelly joins the podcast to talk about how his identity as a queer Black man has shaped his relationships with straight Black men. The guys discuss the importance of the language used to discuss queer identities and its capacity to create division and undermine queer folks' safety. They also discuss the fallacies of anti-LGBTQ sentiments in the Black
Knowing When It's Time to Go
On this episode of BMU, the guys contend with the consequences of putting your head down to push through hard things at the expense of trusting how we feel. How do we know when pushing through isn't the answer? How do we know when it’s time to make a change? During the conversation, the guys contend with what moves us to escapism, the coping trap, and the challenge of hearing ourselves.
Storytellin'
On this, the 50th episode of BMU, the guys return from their holiday hiatus with a story to tell… well, stories to talk about. Their discussion considers the significance of the narratives we share about ourselves, the narrative structures we value and accept, whose narratives we regard as true, and the trouble of choosing sides when we have limited information. Jonathan Majors’ repeated invocatio
Keep Ya Heart
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss the release of André 3000’s new album, New Blue Sun. They discuss 3000’s anxieties around dropping new raps and their uneasiness about the mixed reactions to the news that NBS would be a flute album. Their conversation considers the implications of our expectations of art and the artists of whom we call ourselves fans, evaluates our entitlement to critique
Inheritance
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss the contradictions they live into when going through seasons of transition. Seasons of focus require discipline that can challenge our ability to balance striving and staying connected. Their discussion explores the challenges with viewing themselves as more than the sum of their accomplishments, and our attempt to balance the truth of the solitude that som
Tender Headed (with Olatunde Osinaike)
On this episode of BMU, the guys are joined by Olatunde
Osinaike, and preview his forthcoming book Tender Headed. Kyle and Edwin offer their impressions of the poetry as Olatunde shares how his experiences brought him to this work. The discussion centers the nuances of masculinity and manhood, being in process, and the overlap of their STEM educations and identities as creatives.
Olatunde Osinaik
Adult Friendship (with Dr. Christopher Travers)
On this episode of BMU, the guys welcome the podcast's first guest, Dr. Chris Travers, to discuss the work and nuance of establishing and maintaining friendship as Black men. Using examples from the friendship the three of them share, Kyle, Edwin, and Chris highlight the need to practice vulnerability, deal with our insecurities with honesty, and risk rejection, tension, and conflict to grow t
Deion Slander?
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss the rise of Coach Prime and his program at the University of Colorado, asserting that we can both enjoy the entertainment and be critical of his methods. The discussion includes assessments of his time at Jackson State and the rhetoric he used to characterize his experience as he departed, thoughts about the Primetime/Coach Prime persona, and more. An impro
Love & Money
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss the curious connections between romantic relationships and capitalism. Acknowledging that they are no one's relationship experts, they discuss the ways we've woven capitalism into our dating choices and wonder if swiping left and right, dating for marriage, and prioritizing entertainment in relationships are best practices for getting what we say we
Good Guys
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss their reasons for moving away from defining themselves as good guys. Their conversation unpacks their past motivations for identifying this way, the fallacies built into the good guy motif, and the ways they ultimately learned to leave that role behind. "Really, Bruh?" considers the value of our reactions to the recent Keke Palmer/Darius Daulton f
It's in the Game
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss their beliefs about having game and its value. The discussion considers their earliest experiences with attraction, where and how they learned to get romantic attention from women, and whether game is inherently deceptive. "Really, Bruh?!" returns because the Supreme Court is wildin'.
Black Don't Crack
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss their perspectives of aging as Black men in their late thirties. Their discussion includes questions about how our society really feels about getting older, the motivations for our routines and healthy habits, and their thoughts about their own mortality.
You mad?
***TRIGGER WARNING: Minute 62:00 contains a retelling of a scene from the movie Crash and describes a depiction of sexual assault.
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss the difficulties we experience moving through and dealing with anger. Their discussion considers how they first learned to engage with their anger, how poorly we're equipped to process it, its usefulness, and share thoughts
Father Figuring
On this episode of BMU, the guys share their thoughts about not yet having biological children. Their discussion reviews their socialization to the role of fatherhood in their conceptions of their manhood, pervasive discussions about the importance of time and money in being able to family plan, and how their lives are different than the ones they would have imagined for themselves in their 20s.
BMU Turns Two!
On this episode of BMU, the guys celebrate the podcast's second anniversary by going back to the beginning and reflecting on the lessons learned along the way. Kyle and Edwin talk about how the podcast's slow start, their favorite moments, and the things they're yet in the process of unlearning.
Jonathan Majors
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss their reactions to the domestic violence allegations against Jonathan Majors. They work through the cultural context of the allegations, the importance of our reactions, our juxtaposition to celebrity, and the difficulties encountered when attempting to respond in a way that builds the kind of world we all want to live in.
Maybe I'm Selfish
On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss the value of selfishness. Their conversation considers how they learned that selfishness was unacceptable, how those lessons grew into "good guy" behavior and its attendant expectations, and they wonder whether selflessness is an ideal we should even aspire to. "Really, Bruh?" is back with a play-by-play of the reactions to a "punch
Forgiveness
On this episode of BMU, the guys answer an email from a listener about forgiveness. Their answer flows into a larger discussion about how we learn the process of forgiveness, navigating conflict in non-avoidant ways, and understanding what motivates us to forgive.
Hard Conversations
On this episode of BMU, the guys explore the challenges of having hard conversations. They unpack their early experience discussing difficult topics with family and the ways people pleasing can tempt us to embrace false peace and put off healthy conflict. Michael B. Jordan headlines our "Really, Bruh?" segment.
The Grapes Ain't Sour
The guys are back with a pre-Valentine's Day discussion about attraction and arousal. This episode considers the difference between the two, whether we should be pursuing one or both, and how our society is designed to bias us toward quick fixes.
Self-Love
In this episode, the guys discuss self-love. Their conversation touches on what self-love looks like in practice and how we can plug into good sources rather than always pouring out. They also answer the popular question of whether we have to learn to love ourselves before we can love others or be loved by others.
Logic vs. Feelings
The guys close out 2022 with an evaluation of the false dichotomy between logic and feelings. Their discussion includes a breakdown of the societal implications of establishing a binary relationship between logic and feelings, the importance of balancing the two, and a dope real-world example of logic without feeling involving John Coltrane and a robot (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjONQNUU8Fg)
Sex & Shame
In this 30th episode (!) of BMU, the guys discuss the shame their upbringings associated with sex and how it shaped their journeys learning about themselves and their desires. The discussion unpacks the problems with Christian instruction around sex, identifies the issues with an "all red flags" approach to sex and sexuality, and highlights some of the real consequences of our commitment to doing
Aquemini
In this episode of Black Men Unlearning, the guys sit with the concept of building and leaving legacies. The conversation considers how our egos, the past, present, and future all factor in to how we pursue establishing legacies for ourselves. This week's "Really, Bruh?" addresses the #RecastTChalla trending topic, referencing a conversation between Ta-Nehisi Coates and Ryan Coogler from the first
Grief and Spectacle
The guys discuss Takeoff's untimely death and the sometimes uncomfortable feeling of grieving people we don't know personally. The episode criticizes TMZ's "reporting" and highlights the challenge of making space for grief while pictures and videos of the deaths of Black folks are treated as clickbait and viral content. This week's "Really, bruh?" is dedicated to the Brooklyn Nets.
Adulting
The guys discuss adulting, particularly as it pertains to the pursuit of lives that bring us joy. The conversation leads to them figuring out when the concept of adulting entered our collective consciousness, and evaluate our beliefs about who is deserving of leisure. This week's "Really, bruh?" wonders where all the crabs have gone.
Dragging Billionaires and Ime Udoka
It's a "Really. bruh?" takeover! Kyle and Edwin extend the segment into an entire episode, taking Kanye (Comrade West) to task, contending with the announcement of the Super Bowl Halftime show and the billionaire status of Rihanna and Jay-Z, taking LeBron to task for his support of Tory Lanez, and discussing Ime Udoka's foolishness.
The show references Bassey Ikpi's "I'm Telling the Truth Bu
Health is Wealth
The guys talk about the challenges Black men face in maintaining our good health mentally, emotionally, and physically. The conversation includes vulnerable discussions about their own fears around healthcare, battles with loss, challenges with battling COVID, and the importance of rejecting individuality by managing our wellness in community. The episode also includes the debut of BMU's new segme
What does accountability look like?
In this episode, the guys discuss the fallout from Deshaun Watson's sexual assault cases, and the poor job we do of practicing accountability in our society. The discussion touches on our takeaways from the Me Too movement, our reactions to other assault cases by prominent Black male celebrities, and the lengths to which we'll go to protect our feel-good.
This episode cites reporting by Jenn
We Wear the Mask
*Warning: This episode of Black Men Unlearning contains adult language.*
On this episode of BMU, the guys consider what it means to be authentic and if it is possible to embody multiple authentic expressions of self. The discussion ranges from our use of code switching, social media habits and how we come to understand the multitudes we all contain.
Today's episode references a conversation
You ain't from Russia...
The guys are back and wondering why we spend so much of our lives being in a rush. The episode includes discussion about the where we learn to be in a hurry, the capitalism of it all and what we stand to lose by rushing through our lives.
What did we learn?
The guys discuss the Will Smith/Chris Rock altercation and how our perspectives and biases shape our responses. Their discussion considers the importance of the rhetoric used to characterize the conflict, how men's roles as protectors factor in to navigating major boundary violations, and what we can take away from how the situation unfolded in the public sphere.
Long Hair, Don't Care
On episode #20 of BMU, the guys explore their hair journeys, taking it all the way back to barbershops in the 90s. They discuss their first experiences growing their hair out, their families' response to their long hair, society's perception of Black hair and the link between standards of professionalism and white supremacy.
The Good Life
Kyle and Edwin explore what it means to live the good life or at least *a* good life. The discussion starts with their past perceptions of what pursuits make our lives good, and transitions to evaluating the barriers that stand between us and living/obtaining the good life.
We tired.
Kyle and Edwin are back with the first new BMU episode of 2022, and they're tired. The episode includes discussions about the forces that conspire to keep us exhausted, making good choices about showing up in for ourselves and others and focusing on what we can control.
Relationships Part 4 -- Intimacy
Kyle and Edwin discuss intimacy in relationships including how we navigate boundaries and walls, the beliefs and emotions that challenge our ability to let people get close to us, and what it means to allow ourselves to be vulnerable.
Relationships Part 3 -- Sacrifice
Kyle and Edwin share their reflections about the pitfalls of approaching relationships sacrificially and consider the value of "selfull-ness" in establishing healthy relationships.
Relationships Part 2 -- Equality
Kyle and Edwin continue their series on relationships by questioning whether equality is an ideal we should strive toward. Along the way, the cohost contend with the difference between facts and truth, the meaning of being "equally yoked" and the concept of submission.
Relationships Part 1 -- Cultivation
In the first segment of BMU's relationship series, Kyle and Edwin explore the foundations of their conceptions of relationships. Along the way, they examine our culture's propensity to idolize models and question the value of the relationship "wisdom" we've come to accept.
I'm tryna get like you!
Kyle and Edwin explore our culture's conception of humility by addressing toxic humility and false humility, and working out some of the reasons we find ourselves in these practices today.
Let that man cook!
Kyle and Edwin chop it up about their skills in the kitchen and the influences that led them to find joy in cooking. The episode includes some of their favorite dishes, cooking tips and resources for improving skills in the kitchen.
Some references from the show include the Babish Culinary Universe YouTube channel (https://www.youtube.com/c/bingingwithbabish) including Basics with Babish (https://
Practice?!
BMU is back after a brief hiatus and we're talking about practice. Yup, practice. Kyle and Edwin consider whether greatness should be the goal of everything we do while evaluating the reasons we avoid practicing disciplines we aren't immediately good at.
Pandemic Reflections
On the 10th(!) episode of BMU, Kyle and Edwin share what they've learned about themselves and our world after 16 months of the pandemic. The guys consider the pitfalls of extreme individualism and share ideas about the importance of leaning on each other.
On Grief and Living
Kyle and Edwin discuss their recent experiences with loss and the effect of processing grief on their lives. The discussion includes reflections of what they've learned from dealing with death and how they hope to live in light of these broader perspectives.
Picking and Choosing
Kyle and Edwin discuss the week that was including responses to Bill Cosby's release, Sha'Carri Richardson's suspension and the fire in the Gulf of Mexico.
The conversation references the book The Queen of America Goes to Washington City: Essays on Sex and Citizenship by Lauren Belant.
Pride & Prejudice
Kyle and Edwin discuss the ways they were indoctrinated into discriminatory beliefs about the LGBTQ community and the damaging consequences of their own actions prior to unlearning. They consider the inherent contradictions of "love the sinner, hate the sin" and how they arrived at open and affirming positions on the rights and freedoms of members of the LGBTQ community. The discussion includes re
Black Boy Joy
Kyle and Edwin discuss their earliest notions of joy and the complex balance of maintaining access to it by allowing themselves to feel the good and the bad.
The Responsibilities of Men
Kyle and Edwin switch gears from "Are men on trash?" to discussing the the constructive responsibilities of men to in moving communities from the world that is to the world that ought to be.
The conversation references the following literature: Roots for Radiicals: Organizing for Power, Action and Justice by Edward T. Chambers; Love as The Practice of Freedom by bell hooks; Notes of Native Son by
Are men trash?
BMU is back with an extended episode addressing a big question: are men trash?
The conversation references the following literature: The Combahee River Collective Statement, Shifting: The Double Lives of Black Women in America by Charisse Jones and Kumea Shorter-Gooden, Ph.D. and The Man-Not: Race, Class, Genre, and the Dilemmas of Black Manhood by Tommy Curry
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