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Hidden in Plain Sight - ADHD, ASD, OCD & OCPD - The Often Missed Diagnoses Driving Overthinking, People Pleasing, Perfectioni
Hidden in Plain Sight - ADHD, ASD, OCD & OCPD - The Often Missed Diagnoses Driving Overthinking, People Pleasing, Perfectioni
This podcast explores the hidden diagnoses—ADHD, ASD, OCD, and OCPD—that often drive chronic overthinking, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and burnout, especially in women. Psychologist Dr. Lauren Schaefer offers insights for those who feel overwhelmed, never good enough, and stuck in cycles of self-doubt and shame. It addresses why conventional approaches may not help and aims to bring relief by identifying what's been missed. The show is for over-giving, perfectionistic women who are quietly struggling and seeking understanding.
Episodes
Why the Strongest People Are Often the Loneliest: Understanding Overcontrolled Coping
You hold it together when everyone else falls apart. You plan ahead, stay steady, and rarely ask for help. People rely on you and you show up, every time. So why does life still feel so exhausting, so distant, and quietly empty?In this episode, we explore the concept of overcontrolled coping through the lens of Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO-DBT), a framework designed for people w
Not Unloved, Just Unheld: For the One Who Holds Everyone Else
In this episode, I’m sharing a love letter for the ones who always show up. The steady ones.The thoughtful ones.The people who anticipate needs before they’re spoken and feel the shift in a room before anyone names it.If you’ve spent your life being the reliable one — the helper, the fixer, the over-giver, the emotional translator — this episode is for you.We talk about what happens when you’re th
When Your Mind Doesn't Stop: A Gentle Reset for Racing Thoughts and Restless Bodies
Learning to Settle Busy Minds with Somatic ToolsThis guided practice is designed for overactive minds and over-activated nervous systems. Instead of trying to quiet your thoughts, we use simple body-based regulation tools to help your nervous system settle from the outside in. This practice isn’t about forcing calm or clearing your head. It’s about supporting a nervous system that’s been working h
Learn to Breathe With Me - Guided Practice for Anxious Minds and Bodies
If breathing exercises have ever felt uncomfortable, overwhelming, or hard to follow, you’re not alone. We’ll keep this simple, slow, and flexible. This practice includes tactile and visual strategies to help you better engage the diaphragm and, in turn, activate the vagus nerve and signal safety to the body. As we go, you may notice thoughts, distractions, or a desire to do it correctly. That’s o
Part Two: The Cost of Caring Too Much - Coming Home to Yourself
TL/DR Episode Summary: This episode explores the tender line between empathy and emotional fusion, and why so many sensitive, overgiving women lose themselves while trying to care for others. If you’ve ever felt responsible for someone else’s feelings, this one will feel like coming home to yourself. Welcome Back!In this second part of the series, we step into one of the most tender, defining tru
Part 1: The Cost of Caring Too Much - When Caring Turns Into Self-Abandonment
Dr. Lauren Schaefer unpacks the psychology of overgiving and explores the quiet slide from compassion into self-erasure. We explore when empathy becomes vigilance, when connection becomes labor, and when our nervous system mistakes intensity for intimacy. Through attachment, trauma bonding, and neurodivergent wiring, we’ll look at why these patterns form and the addictive push-pull that keeps so m
From Triggered to Grounded: Why Calm Feels So Hard (and How to Find It Anyway)
Ever feel like you know you’re overreacting but can’t stop? Dr. Lauren Schaefer breaks down why frustration hits harder for sensitive, high-alert nervous systems, and how small shifts in thought, breath, and rhythm can rebuild your frustration tolerance from the inside out. What if your frustration isn’t a flaw but a signal? In this episode, Dr. Lauren Schaefer unpacks the science and psychology b
When Control Becomes the Cage: Letting Go of Anxious Safety Behaviors
In this episode, we dig into the quiet habits that masquerade as “self-care” but actually keep us trapped in anxiety, what therapists call safety behaviors. A safety behavior is anything you do to try to feel less anxious, uncertain, or uncomfortable in the moment. From mental reassurance loops to over-planning every possible outcome, these small acts are our brain’s way of begging for certainty.
Why I Created the Hidden in Plain Sight Podcast
This brief episode explores the purpose of this podcast and why it was created. So many women look fine on the outside, capable, kind, accomplished, while quietly suffering on the inside. Hidden in Plain Sight is for the ones who hold it all together, the ones who care too much, the the high-functioning, deeply feeling women who have been dismissed for their anxiety, while all along may have been
Is It Anxiety or OCD? Understanding Overthinking
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking and thinking and thinking, turning a situation over in your mind like a Rubik’s cube, trying to find the right feeling, the right explanation, the right evidence that you’re safe or good or okay—this episode is for you.Today on the podcast, we’re exploring one of the more confusing overlaps in mental health: the difference between anxiety and OCD, especially
When the Mind Won’t Stop Checking: OCD and Mental Compulsions
In this episode, Dr. Lauren Schaefer unpacks the often invisible or overlooked side of OCD, mental compulsions. While many people associate OCD with visible rituals or checking behaviors, for others the compulsions happen largely in the mind: replaying conversations, analyzing motives, or mentally reviewing to find certainty and relief.Lauren explores how these silent loops can disguise themselves
Healing After Betrayal: Learning to Feel Your Feelings With Self-Compassion
Welcome back to the Hidden in Plain Sight Podcast.TLDR SummaryThis episode is an invitation to pause those harsh inner narratives and discover another way forward in feeling your emotions: self-compassion. Together, we’ll explore how to access your feelings safely, speak to yourself with gentleness, and remind the hurting parts of you that they are not alone, or unworthy.Betrayal If you’re listeni
Inhale. Exhale. Settle: A Quick Nervous System Tune-Up for the Wired and Tired
In this calming episode of Hidden in Plain Sight, we slow everything down. If you've been feeling overstimulated, anxious, burnt out, or like your body is buzzing but your brain can’t settle, this one’s for you.Join Dr. Lauren Schaefer for a guided nervous system regulation practice designed especially for sensitive, neurodivergent, anxious, and perfectionistic minds. Through breathwork, grou
Facing the Storm – The Buffalo Metaphor for Moving Through Discomfort
In this guided mindfulness meditation, we draw inspiration from the buffalo—an animal known for its bold choice to run toward storms rather than away from them. This metaphor becomes a powerful lens for exploring how we relate to emotional discomfort, fear, and avoidance in our own lives.You’ll be gently guided to ground your body, name the “storm” you may be avoiding, and visualize yourself stepp
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