TTFA Anthologies
TTFA Anthologies is a curated collection of stories from the podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking, which shares real experiences of people who have endured difficult and painful life events. Each season focuses on a specific theme, with the latest season titled "Grief: It's Complicated" and sponsored by Fordham University. The podcast highlights moving and honest narratives about loss, resilience, and the complexities of human emotion. Episodes are also available ad-free on Nora's Substack.
Episodes
S4: Am I Grieving Right with Dr. Katherine Shear
In 2022, Prolonged Grief Disorder was added to the DSM-V. A new mental health disorder tied to grief ruffled a lot of feathers, including Nora’s. She talked about it on TTFA (including skepticism around this diagnosis) and you all shared your thoughts on this news as well.
This episode is a very cool follow up because we get to learn more about this disorder from one of the doctors who created t
S4: Friends to the End
It’s rare to have a friendship that actually lasts forever, but that’s what Josie and Miles have. When Miles’s cancer comes back after years of remission, Josie is there for him every step of the way … until there are no more steps to take.
Originally published 8/24/2021
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Fordham University’s Master of Social Work program is ranked among the nation's top 8% of graduate social work programs by
S4: Normalize "Bad Women" with Rebecca Woolf
Being a widow is complicated. On top of the earth-shattering grief you experience, there’s a huge societal pressure to be the perfect image of a grieving partner, missing the love of your life. But what if the person who died was actually kind of a huge jerk? How do you take care of someone who doesn’t really deserve it? And what does it mean to be a good woman or a good widow?
All of This: A Me
S4: About Bob
When Laura gets a call from the hospital telling her that her dad has severe frostbite and could die, Laura is shocked. Not because of the whole frostbite part ... but because her dad is alive. She hasn't seen or talked to him in years and honestly assumed he was long dead.
This is a story about what happens when we realize our parents are, in fact, real people — and that real people mess up and
S4: The Intended Outcome
After fertility treatments fail, Deya and Sandra decide to adopt a child through the foster system. They have a lot of love to give. They also know the intended outcome of foster care is for the child to reunite with their birth family.When Deya and Sandra begin fostering a baby girl, they try to not get too attached ... but it's SO hard. And as the baby's birth mother works toward reunification,
S4: Former Life
Kelsey and Louie’s life is blessedly boring in the best kind of way. They have good jobs. They live in the suburbs. They have a kid.
When Kelsey gets pregnant again, everything changes. Not just because they’re about to go from one kid to two, but because Kelsey isn’t feeling well. She’s diagnosed with Guillain-Barre syndrome.
Some changes you anticipate. They are eagerly awaited — like a preg
S4: Don't You Want Somebody to Take Care of You?
Gina became a caregiver at a young age.
By age 6, she was emotionally responsible for her mother, her brothers and herself, and she learned to mute her own needs for the sake of others.
As an adult, she’s still shaking off the long-term effects of being parentified and learning to attend to her own human needs.
You can read Gina’s work at http://ginadwagner.com/
Originally published 3/2/20
S4: A Good Death
We all want a good death — a death where we’re surrounded by the people we love and don’t feel any fear or pain.
A good death is what Ron Deprez wanted when his body became ravaged by ALS… and thanks to his daughter, Esmé, and Maine’s death with dignity legislation, that’s exactly what he got.
In this episode, Esmé Deprez shares her father’s story with us. Esmé is a very talented writer and jo
S4: Her Name Was Heather
Melissa is the epitome of responsible. She loves following rules and has spent her whole life trying to be the best person possible. But accidents happen, and one winter morning, a split second changes everything she thought she knew about herself.
Originally published 8/31/2021
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Fordham University’s Master of Social Work program is ranked among the nation's top 8% of graduate social work pro
S4: Under a Cloud of Loss
Damon’s grandparents were murdered 18 months before he was born. He never knew them, but their deaths — and the trial for their killer — defined much of his childhood.
For nearly three decades, Damon’s mother has attended every parole hearing to deliver a victim impact statement.
When we meet Damon, there is another such hearing coming up, but his mother is unable to attend. For the first time
S3: Update: How to Lose Your Name with Hayley Paige (Cheval)
It's been a few years since we last spoke with Hayley Paige about the legal battle that took her ideas, her job and her identity. In this episode, we get an update from Hayley. And we get to use her actual name!
You can shop for Hayley Paige dresses at hayleypaige.com
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Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube.
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The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Marcel Ma
S3: The Trauma Sponge
Jeremy Norton has been a firefighter for over 20 years, a job that’s considered heroic and honorable … a job that sometimes means showing up to a false alarm … and sometimes means soaking up the trauma of the city around you.
Jeremy has been a TTFA listener since day one. His first book — The Trauma Sponges: Dispatches From The Scarred Heart of Emergency Response — was published October 10, 2023.
S3: The Teachers Are Not Alright
Like many teachers, when Kristen started her career at 22, she was hopeful and excited. She loved working with students with special needs, and loved learning how their brains worked. But over the years, the job became harder and harder because of the lack of support she received. Eventually, all of the small moments of feeling left out to dry led to a falling out with this career she loved.
Orig
S3: When You Care for a Living, Who Cares for You?
Care connects all of us. In this episode, we talk to Jonny, a domestic worker, and Ai-jen Poo of the National Domestic Workers Alliance about the people who take care of our homes, our families and our communities — the people whose work makes the rest of our work possible.
Learn more about NDWA’s new Care is Essential campaign, which argues that government investment in a comprehensive care inf
S3: Fair Play at Home
America is in a care crisis. Women, especially mothers, are leaving the workforce in staggering numbers in this pandemic era. They're buckling under the pressure of managing the responsibilities of their households and their families on top of their work.
In this episode, we talk with Eve Rodsky about the straw that broke her back and re-examine what it means to value care and time in your own h
S3: Miss North Dakota
In 2012, Rosie became the first Black woman to win the Miss North Dakota pageant. She got to do what she loves most — play music and perform! — and she won scholarship money to pay down her student loab debt. It was thrilling. It was exciting!
But winning Miss North Dakota means more than just wearing a gorgeous gown on a stage in front of a bunch of people. For the next year, Rosie represents t
S3: The Other Side of Belonging
Jen was a perfect prototype of evangelical woman subculture. She followed the rules close enough to not be problematic but had just the right amount of edge to be successful in the Christian blogger space.
In 2016, Jen finds herself ostracized from the community that once supported her after she voices love and support for LGBTQ individuals.
She's sure she's lost it all — her friends, her inco
S3: Unemployed
Layoffs. Redundancies. Furloughs. Right-sizing. There are so many ways to say, “Whoops, sorry, you don’t have a job here anymore,” and Sarah Hagi has already lived through a few of them.
If you’ve ever been told some nonsense during a job interview about how the company in question is “like a family,” and the reason for the low salary offer is because there's free lunch and booze in the kitchen,
S3: God's Plan
Caleb Campbell knew growing up that God’s plan for his life was sports. And when you believe that God himself is responsible for your football career, you feel a LOT of pressure to succeed.
By the time he makes it to the NFL, Caleb is suffering from severe depression and anxiety. He's having regular panic attacks. He feels like he's disappointed everyone, including God. He turns to drugs and alco
S3: I've Made a Huge Mistake
Eva Hagberg is young, ambitious and about to get her Big Break — a byline in the New York Times! And then, she publishes an error. A big factual error. In the New York freaking Times! Cue the breakdown.
If you've ever laid in bed replaying your missteps, this episode is for you.
Originally published 12/5/2016
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Work is, to most of us, an important part of our lives. We spend something like
S3: Emergency! Banner Ads!
lives at work, and even if we’re not working our “dream job” our work gives us a sense of purpose, accomplishment…and – oh, yeah – money to survive. But work – finding it, doing it, losing it – can also be a huge source of stress. This season, we’re exploring what happens when work goes wrong. These are real stories from real people sharing the reality of work, brought to you by Fordham University
S2: Happyish Holidays: The Christmas Curse
It's the time of year when we at Feelings and Co bring you a story about the holiday season, and all of the ways it can go wrong, feel terrible or not live up to the sparkle of a Kay Jeweler Christmas commercial.
This year, we have an epic tale of how one family was CURSED for four Christmases. Each year, a new member of the family took a turn ruining the holiday, which Included fires, hurt feeli
S2: Happyish Holidays: Boundaries and Creating New Traditions
The happyish holiday season can be whatever the heck you want it to be, no matter what pressures you feel from family and friends and society. So, here’s to creating new traditions – and to the Terribles who shared theirs with us (and with you).
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Come see the Happyish Holidays Live Show: A Petty LIttle Christmas at The Parkway Theatre in Minneapolis on December 4th and 5th, or join the livestrea
S2: Happyish Holidays 2022
‘Tis the season! Our terrible holiday tradition is back, this time with more of your painful, sad, awkward holiday stories. Plus: boundary setting advice from Melissa Urban and a fiery Hanukkah story from Vanessa Zoltan.
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Come see the Happyish Holidays Live Show: A Petty LIttle Christmas at The Parkway Theatre in Minneapolis on December 4th and 5th, or join the livestream on December 5th!
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It’s
S2: Happyish Holidays: The Last Christmas (feat. Alyssa Limperis)
We're back with our third annual Happyish Holidays episode! This year, comedian Alyssa Limperis shares with us the holiday letter she wrote the year her dad died from brain cancer. We talk with Jay Mathews, a 48-year-old father and son who, with stage IV cancer, is probably experiencing his last holidays with his family. And we ask listeners what they took away from 2018, what they're looking forw
S2: Happyish Holidays: Dead Brother, Dead Mother
Lauren’s brother died at Thanksgiving. Her mother died at Christmas. So … this time of year is not exactly joyous for her. And it’s not all that fun for a lot of other people, too. The holidays can really suck!
We’re back with our second annual Happyish Holidays episode, in which we share your holiday stories of humor and loss.
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Come see the Happyish Holidays Live Show: A Petty LIttle Christma
S2: Happyish Holidays: The Worst Thanksgiving Ever?
Two days after Nora’s husband Aaron died, she celebrated Thanksgiving with her family. Well... maybe not “celebrated.”
Every year, millions of people do the same thing during the holidays. In this episode, we talk with some of those folks, including Dr. Lucy Kalanithi and comedian Amber Tozer.
We also spend some time with some of the women of the Hot Young Widows Club, talking about their hopes
S2: AITA: Happyish Holidays Edition
If the holidays make you want to tear your hair out or cry on the bathroom floor, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It's a hard time for a lot of people, and still we have to force a smile and say through gritted teeth, "Happy Holidays!"
But the holidays aren't always happy. Most of the time, all we can ask for is HappyISH Holidays.
In this episode, Nora McInerny and producer Marcel Malekebu dive into AITA stor
S1: The Ending Matters- Stop Calling It "Assisted Suicide"(Stories of Suicide & Survival)
In 2014, Brittany Maynard exercised her right to an assisted death under Oregon's Death With Dignity Act. She'd been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer less than a year earlier.
Her death at age 29 — and her advocacy work for the legalization of assisted death — made headlines.
Nora's husband also died in 2014, also from brain cancer. But his and Brittany's deaths were very different. In this
S1: Claire Has a Secret- Post Secret Girl Who Wrote in Her On-Suicide Notes(Stories of Suicide & Survival)
When Claire was a teenager, she held a lot of big, difficult feelings, and for a while, she saw only one solution for them. Though Claire decides to not act on those feelings, her story gets shared anonymously online — and continues to appear when she needs it most.
Note: This episode is about suicide. If you are or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide, there are free resources av
S1: Army Wife- Husband Was Failed by the Army, Military, Abuse, PTSD(Stories of Suicide & Survival)
Death by suicide has long been a problem within the U.S. military, and not just among veterans: In 2020, suicide rates among active duty service members hit a six-year high. On August 28th, 2015, Heather’s husband Tyler became one of those statistics. Theirs is a story of friendship, of love, of family, of service and duty … and of trauma, domestic abuse and mental illness.
If you’re experienc
S1: In Absentia- When Things Are Not What You Thought They Were(Stories of Suicide & Survival)
Olivia is 7 years old when her dad moves out of state to take a new job … and is never heard from again. In high school, a manilla envelope appears in Olivia’s mailbox letting her know the reason she never heard from him is because he died by suicide. But when Olivia learns as a young journalist that her father might have faked his own death all those years ago, she decides to investigate.
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Terr
S1: The Happiness Equation- How a Friend's Suicide Propelled Neil Pasricha Toward a Happier Life(Stories of Suicide & Survival)
Neil Pasricha’s life is falling apart. His marriage, which gave him a sense of purpose and value, is over. His best friend has died by suicide. Therapy helps, but he still struggles with all of the negativity swirling in his head. So Neil does what a lot of people did in the mid-aughts: He starts a blog — a blog about awesome things that make him happy.
Right now, a lot of us rely on the interne
S1: What Do You Say About Suicide? Part 2(Stories of Suicide & Survival)
In the last episode, we heard from people who had ideated and/or survived their own suicide attempts, as well as people who had survived a loved one’s suicide. They told us about all the unhelpful and hurtful things that people had said or done.
But there ARE things that people can do and say that ARE helpful, and in this episode, we dive into it.
If you're looking for resources on suicide, he
S1: What Do You Say About Suicide? Part 1(Stories of Suicide & Survival)
You know what people hate talking about? Dreams. Politics. Religion.
Also: suicide.
But it's important that we talk about the hard stuff (and it's kinda what we do here), so we asked you to talk to us about your experiences with suicidal ideation and suicide loss.
For resources on suicide and mental health, nami.org has a wealth of great mental health resources.
Text NAMI to 741741 for imme
S1: If/Then- A Woman Witnesses the Suicide of a Stranger(Stories of Suicide & Survival)
Charlotte’s career is built on theoreticals. As an operating room nurse, she has a protocol for every tragedy — a “then” for every “if.” That all changes one night when, on her way home, Charlotte encounters a teenage girl on the wrong side of a guardrail on an overpass above a highway.
Charlotte wasn’t this girl’s mother, or sister, or best friend. She didn’t even know her. But Charlotte was the
S1: Two Letters - A Widow Remembers Her Husband With Two Letters(Stories of Suicide & Survival)
This is an episode about two letters. One of those is the letter Jim left for his wife, Annie, before he died by suicide. The second is the letter Annie wrote to Jim after his death — and as she dealt with her own mental health issues and suicidality in the wake of it. When someone dies by suicide, people want it to be someone’s fault, so they can (hopefully) feel less like it’s their fault. But t
S1: Stories of Suicide & Survival
Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon.
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Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube.
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The Feelings &
Introducing TTFA Anthologies
Terrible, Thanks for Asking tells the real stories of real people who have lived through the terrible things in life. TTFA Anthologies are a curated collection of some of our best stories; released in seasons that focus on a specific topic. You can find our entire episode catalog ad-free on Apple+ or Patreon.
–
Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube.
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The Feelings &
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