The Todd-Marshall Delirium

Make Technology Stupid Again, A Little Bit of Linguistic Voodoo, and I Flew to Burbank With Joe Montana Aug 21, 2026 4480 Also:• Instead of Grinding Their Molars• What's Wrong With Shania Twain?• The Boys are Back on the Frogs Again• Get Cucked by Genghis Khan• Like Teeth Dislodged From Your Head• Drewby-Goo, Good Lord!• Chemicals in Your Potato Chips• We Need to Dance Naked in the Moonlight• A Bad Case of Resting Bitch Face• Another Child on a Milk CartonRecorded August 11, 2026.

The Good Samaritan is a Gay Mexican in a MAGA Hat Aug 14, 2026 4358 Also:• You Can't Have "Fiduciary" Without "Douche"• Enact Ritual Blood Sacrifice• Just Not Pornographers and Arms Dealers• A Very Autistic Teenager With Brain Fog• Sphincter Control, Man• Funny Things Mammals Do to Each Other• Their Dog is Named Fleming?• We Have Not Entered Economic Nirvana• With the Oatmeal Brain Goo Inside• Ex-Theatre Kids, Gays, and SocialistsRecorded

The Stoned Ape Theory, but for Dogs Licking Toads in Australia Aug 7, 2026 3217 Also:• My Rabbi Says the Sex is Amazing• It May Be the Crows, in Tandem With the Raccoons• Maybe You Shouldn't Be Quite That Loving?• I Know Some Reptile People• A Fiery Implosion of Potential Economic Glory• We're All Evolving Into Crabs• The Word You're Looking for is "Crepuscular"• Everyone Hates Me and I Need to Go Hide• Clean Yourself Off and Bring Protection• I Spun

Couldn't Get the Damn Mechanical Fish to Work, We Have Activated Cuyler's G-Spot, and Queefs are Funny Too Jul 31, 2026 5235 Also:• Someone Gave the Dog Too Much Cheese• If You're in Idaho, Who Cares?• Funny ... People Don't Remember Venus• The Only Man I've Kissed on the Lips• Ooh, Stomach Cancer Farts• If I Have My Boyfriend Geschmutze in My Face• As the Mud Man You Are• Her Death Run of Killing Everybody Everywhere• That's a Small Moose• Resorting to the Scatological at This PointRecorded July 21,

A Corborus of Unrecactified Slectity Jul 17, 2026 3977 Also:• Just Mowed My Lawn With a Pair of Fingernail Clippers• His Wife and Jeff's Wife Both Look Like Jeff• A Clear Way of Demonstrating Your Moral Ineptitude• Yeah, But I'm Not Using My Dick• One Big Giant Rocky Moon-Like Empty Landscape From Utah to Nebraska• You Don't Need a Boner to Pee• All the People Who Lived There Interbred• That Was a Very Good Gallop• Childlike Wonder and

Shout Out to Schadenfreude, When Algeria Went to Kansas, and I Call Him a Sonic Chameleon Jul 10, 2026 4929 Also:• Liechtenstein vs. Micronesia• The Little Postage-Stamp-Sized Thingamajig• Their Immense Capacity to Put Down Liquor• Whale Hunting in the Desert• Explicitly Sawing Off Your Future• Which Made Him Kind of a Douchebag Husband• Anyone Who Lives on the Nepalese Steppe• Still Kissing Ditka's Feet• A Particularly Interesting Passage in Mein Kampf• You Little Edgelord, YouRecorded June 30, 20

At the Facility in Tecumseh, Living at Her Majesty's Pleasure Jul 3, 2026 4060 Also:• Extraordinarily Tragic and Metaphorically Resonant• As Urine Dribbles From the Third Rail• Shoot Up Some Heroin and Work on My Novel• We Fly Away Like Freshly Fed Pigeons• Don't Know How They Navigate a Polycule• Clavicular Was Mid-Jestergooning• Zen Buddhists Feel the Same Way About Bruce Lee• Did She Hit a Really Good Spliff?• I Have to Bathe My Neighbor's Chihuahuas• Healing Ch

Part of a Well-Hung Jury, Mom Spaghetti, and Orgasms During Childbirth Jun 26, 2026 4171 Also:• Understand the Physics of Open Houses• Here, Have Some Charcuterie• A Snub-Nosed Turtle Floating in the Jar• Unga-Bunga That With a Palm Tree and Two Hands• In What Dimension is a Chihuahua a Good Dog?• Conjured From the Ether of Chicagoland • Process Me and Give Me a F***ing Baloney Sandwich• Three Instances of Baby Mama Drama• He Was an Exceptionally Cantankerous Man• In the Liminal Space

A Large Advocacy Movement for Shrimp Jun 19, 2026 4096 Also:• Just a Crab, Happy in the Hot Tub• Shouldn't the Homeless Rabbi Be at the Core?• Without Killing Actual Frogs• Acknowledge the Sneering Resentment I Have• Some Unimaginably Massive Scab• When That Horse Stops Spitting Out Money• Or Lop Some Limbs Off• Rich People Do Not Go to the Bargain Bin• Cuyler Has Slurs on the Brain• Grinding My Teeth at How Much I Hate the PastorRecorded June 9,

Love as an Entanglement, a Closeness, a Binding, a Hold, a Touch, a Clutch, an Entwinement Jun 12, 2026 4159 Also:• One of Those North Pole Igloos You Can Sleep In• We Are Not in Rural Pakistan• Anecdotes From the Peloponnesian War• You Would Still Have Magnificent Hair• Because It's Cole F***ing Porter• Weird Pacts That Weirdo Kids Make• They're Just in a Scooby Doo Costume• I Have Not Sired Any Children That I Know Of• Pull a Bo Burnham in About 10 Years• He's Got This Big Long Wispy Bea

I Think Rastafonkey is Dead, and The Other Polar End of Seasonal Affective Disorder Jun 5, 2026 4829 Also:• I've Seen a Shrew on the Blasket• You Rapscallion Bastards!• Aggressively, Offensively British• Admire Me Until My Memoir Comes Out• This is Bush League, James• The Amount of Oxytocin That Goes Through Her Brain• A 13-Year-Old's Unavoidable Boner• Stuck in the Rinse Cycle of Resentment• Valiantly Committing Seppuku• A Metric By Which I Can Whip MyselfRecorded May 26, 2026.

If One of You is Feeling Randy and the Other is Feeling Queasy May 29, 2026 4081 Also:• Including, But Not Limited to, Cholera and Dysentery• He's Like a Conjoined Twin of Bob• They're Pissed When They See My Numbers• I'm Looking at You, Immanuel Kant!• Never Mind What the Pentecostals are Doing• They Ooze Blue• Three More Albums in the Banana Stand• I Never Interacted With Thor• If It's Too Long It Gets Lopped Off• Hire Private Israeli Militias to Get His

We've All Been Bifurcating Since LUCA, Would You Drop a "Gadzooks"? and My Fiancee Has Stopped Listening May 15, 2026 3631 Also:• We Are Occupied By Memes• Tell Someone You're Going to Pinch a Loaf• He is a Deeply Silly Man• A Pox on You and Your Family• Everyone's Got a Posture-Fest• Guerrilla Warfare Among British Eccentrics• You're Getting His 1,000-Yard Stare• My Dad's Very Potent Reality Distortion Field• The Pearl-Clutching Outrage• Find a Way to Make More of Them DieRecorded May 9, 2026.

In Terms of Shafts, It is Better to Give Than to Receive May 8, 2026 3993 Also:• Filthy, and Full of Marshall Mathers and Polio• Backing the Wrong Proverbial God-Horse• A Game of Who Can Jizz More• If a Comedian Has a Tight 20 on Sodomy• Intra-Feminine Character Assassination• I Thought Hookah Was Going to Take Over• Just a Flutter of a Nutty Edam Cheese• A Screaming Fit Over Basil Plants• Eating Baby Food and Worshipping a Rock• And Genocides Up the WazooRecorded May 1

That is Statistically, Biologically, Demonstrably, Categorically Impossible May 1, 2026 5147 Also:• Birdsong and Frogs and Hoots and Hollers and Yowls• A Throat or Other Fleshy Appendage• If That Tickles Your Pickle, Great• Cut That Shit Off, Dog• You Would Have to Have a Moose Cock• Three Ways to Say "Potato"• Their Own Supply of Helium in the Basement• But We Still Look for Sponge Bob• A Whole Lot of Barbed Clauses and Caveats• Would You Love Me if I Was a Worm?Recorded April

Lower Bananas and Scalding Hot Oatmeal Into His Mouth Apr 24, 2026 3988 Also:• Schmoozing All Day is Not Half Bad• Yup, That's My Species• She Put Your What in Your Tuchus?• A Very Important Part of a Three-Martini Lunch• If You're Weird, a Little Bit of Pickled Brine• Navigate Corporeally Through This Realm• I'm Assuming That's Yiddish• Until People Start Boning, This is Not Data• You're Shit-Faced at 3 p.m.• Jumpin' Jehovah James, That&

It's Not Cannibalism, It's Theophagy! Apr 17, 2026 4642 Also:• Slingshotting to the Moon Under Another Name• Ix-Nay on the Ihad-Jay• Summarily Identified By the Fedoras on Their Heads• Our Military-Industrial Salchicha• One or Two Segments of Your Pinky Finger• A Variety of Public Beatings, Stonings, or Other Forms of Execution• Actual Shit Stains Left on the Seats• Social Cohesion by Way of Sex • Kind of a Dickhole Thing to Do to a Landlord• They&apos

We're Not Opening With Pig Brains in a Hot Pot Apr 10, 2026 4130 Also:• Beat the Dead Horse Till it Stops Spitting Out Money• Don't Tell Me It Was Will Smith!• I Think There Was Some Donkey in There Too• Little Old Ladies in Frog Costumes• Elaborate on the Provincial and the Bass-Ackwards• Are You Familiar With Skibidi Toilet?• Their Mandarin is Laughably Coarse and Grating• Tomatoes Cooked in Lead-Lined Pans• What Country Isn't a Mixed-Economy Survei

Catastrophic Depletion, Hire a Guy With Homicidal Ennui, and Enneagram 5 is the Barn Owl Apr 3, 2026 3944 Also:• Somewhere Between Vladimir Lenin and Stevie Wonder• Fighting, Obsession, Drama, or Death• There's Something Wrong With Mrs. Washburn• I Will Credit the Nazis on This• A Fun Story From the World of Prostate Cancer• Wolverines and a Bunch of Stupid Poodles• They Confiscated Everyone's Bicycles• That's Not How You Make a Remoulade Sauce!• Veer Away and Watch for the G-Forces• A

Happyquinox! and Slightly Awkward, Barky Mandarin Mar 27, 2026 4186 Also:• The Xerox Machine is Erotic to Me• They Think He's a Dumbshit Meathead• I Actually Like Yak• Streaming From Most of Your Facial Orifices• One of the God-Kings of Meme Culture• Get Soggy and Start to Slough Off• Integrated Corn on the Cob• Sucking Teats of Cows for Nourishment• Heroin, Carbohydrates, and a Monthly Salary• Don't You Dare, You Pig!Recorded March 20, 2026.

Roll Up a Funny Little Devil's Cigarette, I Missed Seattle Grunge Entirely, and He Sinks His Emotions Into Bees Mar 20, 2026 3925 Also:• All Commerce is a Circle Jerk• Bio-Psychological Chemistry Not Conducive to Good Decision Making• It's the Group Peacocking I really Miss• Horrible Burning Smelly Ash Heap Dystopian Detroit• It Looks Like Puyallup• That's a Lot More Chutzpah Than I Got• Not as Toxic as the Strip Clubs• You Were a Doppelgänger of Me• Guys, Where are All the Cats?• And I'm Barely Lower Middle C

He Discovered He Had On a Green Hat Mar 13, 2026 4088 Also:• Proposals of Marriage Flooding in From Around the Globe• Virtuosity? I Call It Gymnastics• A New Plant Named Cliff• Fly Into a Rage and Shatter Your Only Guitar• When a Tour Bus Rolled and Fell on Him• Please Join My Polycule• Reach Across This Counter and Beat Somebody's Ass• By the Way ... Necrophilia?• Or Any of Those Other Breastaurants• Mutualistic Opportunistic ManipulationRecord

Schmoo: The Legless, Armless, White Fluffy Sperm Homunculus Mar 6, 2026 4054 Also:• The Great Recycling Bin of Media and Culture• She's on the Couch Totally Knackered• 7th Graders Who Don't Know Jack F*** About Physics• Because Bryan is Mister Sun• Lie Down in a Pit of Dirt and Wait to Die• That Bog Most Certainly Stank Half to Hell• I'm Just a Bill, Up on Capitol Hill• This Sweet Old Marshmallowy Man• With a Little Bit of Hozier• He Starts Punching Buttons

Does Beaver Count as Fish? Feb 27, 2026 3594 Also:• Attentions Paid to His Buttshole• And I'm Soaking in It• For the Same Reason Whales Have Feet• Corn-Creating Symbiotic Animals• A G-Spot in a Most Surprising Place• Dogs Domesticated Us• Where He Meets a Talking Mattress• Spit Becomes a Slick Substance• From Your Own Loins Sprang the Object of Your Ire• We Are the Pancake PeopleRecorded February 19, 2026.

Bakeries are to the French What Saunas are to the Finnish Feb 13, 2026 3505 Also:• Strip Clubs, Arms Dealers, Consultants to ICE• They Fucked With the Chicken• I'm a Pretty Goddamn Fun Wedding Officiant• Half the Eyes are Full of Tears• An Unfortunate Thursday Evening in February• Deep Fry Some Oreos and a Stick of Butter• I Get to Have a Piece of Flea With Me• Without the Full Brunt of Federal Goons• A $17 Egg Sandwich, if You Like• Sent Into the Jungle With the Mac

The Widely Available Peep Show, Orange Shag Carpeting, and Avocado-Colored Appliances Jan 30, 2026 2858 Also:• Shivering Next to the Digital Fireplace• This Middle-Aged Villainous Woman From Yorkshire• My Squirrelly Sense of Apocalyptic Disaster• It Was Grating Because it was Ham-Fisted• The Daydream-Like Reflections of a Man Full of Regret• Do They Order Pizza in Romania?• Shirts Unbuttoned to the Navel, Necklaces and Taco Meat• Look How Much They Hate Jews!• You Could Be Maori, You Could Be Sudane

An Ass-Ton of Dials, Knobs, Little Whirring Lights, Bits, and Buttons Jan 23, 2026 3850 Also:• Not Filling Your Beloved With Rage and Revulsion• Outside of the Rare Fetishist• Dad With a Smoke Machine, Giggling His Ass Off• He Lives in Fresno for God's Sake• Would Somebody Just Give This Kid Some Valium?• When You've Got $30 Million to Smear• I Probably Wouldn't Tell You to Suck a Dick• Do We Have a Wheelchair? Do We Have a Vegan?• You'd Make an Excellent Walmart

A Rusty Trombone, You Did the Dog a Mercy, and Do the Inuit Have Frog Myths? Jan 16, 2026 3865 Also:• Kick the Year Off With Some Family Tragedy• A Bright White Little Grouchy-Ass Cat• If I Had Pearls to Clutch ...• Games of Stealth and Surprise and Torture• And Then Something Goes a Little Squiggly• Lying Dead Behind a Trash Dumpster• It's Supposed to be Jarring• Frank Comes Up When I'm Doing Mushrooms• The Latest Album by Chonkus• How About a Dutch Oven or a Dirty Sanchez?Record

A Wee Bit of Christmas Delirium With Cuyler & Bryan Dec 25, 2025 2560

The Only Thing That Grows There is Fennel, Misery, and Peat Moss Dec 19, 2025 3666 Also:• Encroaching on Us With its Jolly Miseries• Wonderful Fruit Springs From Strange Trees• He Distinctly Hears a Meow• The Butch Lumberjack Woman With Massive Forearms• It Would Trigger a Lunatic Rant• The Sociocultural Umami We All Swim In• So Screamingly Ephemeral• Just a Meat Market of Desperation• Sitting on Top of the Carburetor, Petrified• Who Stabs a 71-Year-Old Man?• Hairless and Blind,

A Cast of Deeply Unsavory Women, Dogs Would Rule the Landscape, and More Merciful Than Beheading, I Suppose Dec 8, 2025 4102 Also:• Who Here is Into K-Pop Boy Bands?• A Moment of Needless Pedantry• Jesus, Put a Jacket on Your Jimmy• A Thick Forest Always Encroaching on the Borders of His Lips• You Can Hardly Hear Jack Shit• Bob Sink, a Funny Little Metaphor• Well Hung and a Good Hang• Can't Just Leave Blades in Barbicide• The Afflicted Die in Gruesome Ways• You End Up Eating Canned Dog FoodRecorded November 21, 202

Calloused Half to Hell and Smelling Vaguely of Piss Nov 21, 2025 3856 Also:• What URL Do You Want on Your Gravestone?• Jesus Was a Zionist, Just Like Us• A Very Yeasty Pita Bread that Bounces• Knock Loose Your Proverbial Hanging Chad• A Children's Museum of Syphilis• I'm Not Sure Feet Were All That Disgusting• Bankrolled by Someone Dead for Almost a Decade• All of Us Got Dummy Drunk• We Descend From Pewter Workers• Go Eat Fattoush!Recorded November 14, 202

The Great Emu War of 1932, Daddy Dick and Wife Dick, and You Can Pickle-Brine Chicken Nov 7, 2025 3944 Also:• Where Women Grow and Men Chunder• I Like Spaffing My Refrigerator Full• Holy Shit, That Mosh Pit Was Intense• Mostly Due to the Spiders• I Don't Know Where They Get 8-Foot Salmon• Just Don't Go All Hutu-Tutsi on Each Other• Mormon-Family-Sized Quantities of Golden Grahams• I'm in it for the Tires• Spell That on the Telephone, Bitch!• Tardigrades in SpaceRecorded October 31, 2

Go Up, Thou Bald Head! Did You Get This From Zig Ziglar? and No, These Were Impaling Stakes Oct 31, 2025 4293 Also:• In Somebody Else's Reality Distortion Field• Adventures in Radical Hospitality• Not Something the Coptics Would Be Accused Of• I Left That Little Cesspool• Neither Neurotic Obsessive Nor Douchebag• A Very Infectious Pitch• Grinding Self-Obsession and Self-Flagellation• When You Get Stuck in Right Field• In the Velvet-Lined Retrospective of It• Drive the Tent Peg Through His TempleRecor

Better Than Isabuyler, Scraping Your Face Along the Wall, and This Rat Bastard Little Child Oct 24, 2025 4607 Also:• She Shut That Down With the Might of Zeus• Wanna Join My Polycule?• The Whole Family, Crammed Into One Shirt• It's the Jews!• A Very Nice Mutt Named Tyson• Along With Your Dumb Little Cheesy Burrito• Squeeze Him and Call Him George• His Gigantic Swollen Balloon-Like Head• She Does Love a Velvety Pit Bull• The First Red Flag is the Absence of Red FlagsRecorded October 17, 2025.

Fighting Over Toothpaste, Mucusy and Cold at the Same Time, and The Black Community is Not an Obelisk Oct 17, 2025 4809 Also:• What People Screamed When They Opened Their Window• The Gardyloo You Must Not Ignore• Pour the Shit From Their Chamber Pots• Teensy Weensy Thai Girlfriends• A Smart Guy Really Good at Playing a Dumbshit• Slice Divots Into Their Foreheads• The Best Mahjong Player in Three Laundromats• As Good as the Defenestration of Prague• Mr. Rogers Hides His Vietnam Tattoos• Because I Hadn't Bathed

His Typecast is "Benign Scumbag," A Weird Thing to Put in a Cemetery, and One of Those Ghastly Beheadings Oct 10, 2025 4048 Also:• Effectively Synonymous With Jumping the Shark• The Bible is Funny, Folks• Other Than a Few Weird Philosophers• The Recycled Entrails of the Internet's Detritus• He Had a Thing for Dominance Hierarchies• I'm Going to Torture Some Fellow Great Apes• Use the Rubble as Fertilizer• Catch Hell From Mrs. Dasenbrock • The Mexican Punitive Expedition• I Enjoy Having a Mostly Clean BrainRec

They Look at My Refrigerator and Gasp, A Deep Splinter Imbedded in the Flesh, and His Nose Fell Off Oct 3, 2025 4113 Also:• There Exists a Rational Fear of Chopsticks• I'm More of a Finger Food Kinda Guy• Your State of Benign Reclusiveness• What Does Bryan NOT Eat?• Trying to Figure Out Who's Hitler• Spoons and Shrieks of Rage• From Pickled Carrots to Giardiniera• Speaking of Genocide• I'm Always Curious How Despots Live• She Got a Baby Out of the DealRecorded September 26, 2025.

A Lovely Totalitarian State, When the Dogs Begin to Smell Her, and Ike is Very Personable Sep 26, 2025 3838 Also:• I'm Here to Accept the Mosquitoes• Word Salad You Could Write on a Refrigerator• A Difference as Large as Qualia Itself• Holy Shit, Can That Guy Slap• Lahaina Basically Got Burned to Death• The Sharps are Flatter and the Flats are Sharper• What Has He Done in His Sour Stupor?• Much to My Chagrin, I Started Noticing Bass Lines• Microtonal Christmas Work• White Chicks are Most Famous for

Boiling the Hell Out of Seaweed, Please Avoid the Sniper's Bullet, and My Grandfather Died in a Potato Field Sep 19, 2025 3977 Also:• Fits of Screaming, Wall-Punching, Apoplectic Rage• An Italian Substitute for the F Word• It's Not the Same Egg, and You're Not the Same Man• Umami, for the 747th Time• Did Anyone's Wife End Up Dead in This Story?• Swallowing 2TB Thumb Drives• The Succession of Old Farts That Replaced Him• A Black Hole That Will Stare Into Me• What Color are the Bears in Chile?• Borderline Men

My Earwax is a Deep Amber, The Dentist Injector-Squeezer Thing, and Bring Back "Male Chauvinist Pig" Sep 12, 2025 4474 Also:• Disgusting and Glorious All at the Same Time• Donald in Bed With Satan• Might as Well Be Entertained By the Hissing and Popping• The Most Terrifying Land Predator Ever Conceived• You Can Hear Yourself Swallow• Beat That Dead Horse Till it Stops Spitting Out Money• Sponge Bob, the Megalith of Viacom• That Very Strange, Awful, and Deeply Racist Man• Willing to Publicly Ridicule the President•

Hasengepelschdufeinenschwödenhetze Aug 29, 2025 4354 Also:• Get Past the Pleasantries and Proceed to Be Bored• Deng Xiaoping, Stormin' Norman Schwarzkopf, and Frederick II Elector of Saxony• A Deep-Vein-Thrombosis Sort of Thing• Someday You Will Be Pushing Up Daisies as They Are• The Right Alignment of the Wrong Problems• Kind of Like "ButtNumbathon"• One Little Teensy Weensy Piece of Science Fiction• Lay Your Mitts on Me, Copper• The

Please – Divorce Now, Before You Have any Kids Aug 15, 2025 3927 Also:• The Unfortunately Named Mr. Woodcock• It Was Either Suicide or Volcanoes• Dogbite Dan, Who Ran Your Parkour Class• Right Into My Dusty, Disgusting Camera• The Umpteen Gajillion Roberts in Your Ancestry• That's Been the Wallpaper of My Life• She'll be Singing Baritone Below Stevie Nicks• Hugging Pillows When You're High on Mushrooms• That's a Lot of Balls to Juggle• Unles

I Have Three Other Hogs Sniffling at My Truffles Aug 8, 2025 4088 Also:• The Transformation of Personal Tragedy Into Collective Comedy• Belfastaghy Would Not Be as Confusing• The J-est J That Ever J'd• And Don't Ever Call Me an Accountant• Sit With Your Guidance Counselor and End Up Screwed Up• I Never Saw the Caramel Underbelly of Paul• Introvert Passes the Ball to Introvert• We Certainly Ate Our Share of Possum• Whatever Weird Artistic Homunculus You

I Don't Think Beating a Kid With a Stick is All That Effective Aug 1, 2025 3974 Also:• Put a Stop to the F***ing Chaos• Careening Off the Rails and Massively Top Heavy• On a Bit of a Religious Tear• That Bizarre, Creepy, Disgusting Whole Sequence• Get Henry Ford on the Phone• Husbands and Wives Drooling Over Each Other• Passionate About Other People's Crap• Buddhism is the Most Unreligious Religion• Turn the Entire Earth's Infrastructure to Rubble• And a Damn Fine A

Whaddya, Stoopit? Jul 25, 2025 4164 Also:• My Cat's Name is Chanel Rosenblatt• It Was Fingernails On My Aesthetic Chalkboard• Also, an Order of Yak• Sounds Like a Drum Fill, or Someone Falling Down the Stairs• The Penguin Shows Up in Overalls• I'd Say Root Beer is a Pretty Spectacular Invention• Get the Podium Off the Guy's Ribcage• The Most Xi'An-Ass Place You Could Find• I Have to Sit and Marinate in This• Some

An Espresso Machine, a Liquid Lunch, and a Pair of Rubber Bands Jul 18, 2025 4128 Also:• Ascending Tier Lists of Either Clumsy or Homicidal People• Ruin the Masterpiece Retroactively• The Spanish Almost-Quasi-Fantasy-Horror• Are You Going to Tell George No?• I Should Name My Son "Fassbender"• Jesus of Nazareth is Your Cat• Countries That Allow Assassination• If They Find You Supping in Your House• Rats Chew Off Your Body Parts While You Sleep• Crushed, in at Least a T

Zero Tolerance for Whimsy and Fantasy of Any Kind Jul 11, 2025 4044 Also:• Stunning, Horrifying, and Excellent• Heteronormative Homosocial Posturing• A Large Screwdriver Fished Out of His Colon• Military Men Confess Their Sins• Pepe the Horny Frenchman• When You Feel Like Making a Booty Call• Fish Stink From the Head Down• He Drinks a Whiskey Drink, He Drinks a Vodka Drink• Henry Kissinger Finally Dies• Grandma's Spectacular PancakesRecorded July 4, 2025.

Who's Spending $32,000 on a Misspelled Climax? Jul 4, 2025 3978 Also:• It Rained Orange Juice and Froze Overnight• Every Audiophile's Wet Dream• They Tumble Through the Cheese Cloth Pretty Fast• The Hour of Sleep You Get After You Pee• It's Like Trying to Schedule Sex• Libidos, and How Autistic You Both Are• I'll Be Back on a Horse• Show Up to School Without Pants On• Fresh, Minty Jet Spray Wash for the Inside of My Brain• You'd Be Playing

A Really Funny Thing to Hear Your Rabbi Say Jun 27, 2025 4693 Also:• At Peak Manic Right Now• Let's Talk About What Meds You're On• GenXers are More Wizened• The Breathless Excitement of Sex in a Barn• Raised on Hose Water and Neglect• Yes, They're Just a Cesspool of Horny• Rabbit Trails Exploding Across the Transom• Hippies So Hairy and Dirty They Look Like Wookies• Huffing VHS Cleaner• Afrikaans is Just Twisted, Convoluted DutchRecorded June

His Coworker Has a Prehensile Tail Jun 20, 2025 3773 Also:• Five Minutes in and We're Several Faux Pas Deep• Having Pabulum Infused Directly Into My Veins• I'm Rot Maxing Today• He Spelled His Name "Hen3ry"• I Have a Dirty Penguin Joke at Some Point• For All I Know You Could be Naked• Full Body Armor and a Kalashnikov Were a Daily Thing• It Looks Like You Blew a Seal• The Most Irish Euphemism for Bombings and Retaliatory Massacre

A Quiche Recipe With a Very Happy Ending Jun 6, 2025 3886 Also:• I Hang Out With Weirdos, Not Creeps• My Eyes are Tired, As is My Soul, But Yet I Frolic• Literally Carrying Buckets of Piss and Shit• Almost Like a Kind of Radar• Ever Go to Those Swinger Parties Where Everyone Puts Their Keys in a Bowl?• Norovirus, or Other Such Explosive Afflictions• Did You Interact With a Boob Today?• Task Failed Successfully!• We All Poop, Except the Queen• Your Father

Very Handsome, Very Chill, and Extremely Dutch May 30, 2025 4405 Also:• Aardvark, Van der Kaamp, Beethoven, Roosevelt, Ruurlo• I Was a Ho, Bryan• Funny How White These Schools Were• What Generation of Communist Sympathizers are They Raising?• I Oughta Kick Your Ass Right Up Between Your Eyeballs• We Have Local Blast Chambers• The Booty Was Called, the Booty Responded• He's a Filthy, Greasy Rat Bag, and Kind of a Pervert• Hank and His Kleptomaniacal Wife• L

Can You Pass the Catsup, Please? May 16, 2025 4601 Also:• Easily the Most Petty Version of Nebraska Behavior• Hiding Behind the Piano, Sobbing• With the Jawbone of a Donkey, Heaps Upon Heaps• It's Up There With Lemon-Scented Contacts• A Minimum of Three Genocides• He's a Cuz Nuzzler• Bilhah and Zilpah Get the Shaft Coming and Going• We're Going Back to Mud Huts, Folks• It Danced Out of His Brain Like a Wood Sprite• I've Become

All Living Creatures Will Eventually Evolve Into Crabs May 9, 2025 4168 Also:• Judges is an Adorably Problematic Book• Unwilling to Tear Open Your Friend's Chest Cavity• Feelin' Pretty Fucking Unappreciated, Al• It's a Manifestation of the Infinite Microculture• I Can Finally Bring Out My White Pumps• You Know This Was a Sexual Audition, Right?• Put in in February, Like the Icelanders Do• The Accumulation of Stupid Questions Into a Cluster Calhoun• Anot

Somebody Sneezed on the Croutons While Eating Bat Soup Apr 25, 2025 4059 Also:• Wearing a Sandwich Board in Front of a Del Taco• Not the Least Interested in Cocaine Right Now• Mow My Lawn Menacingly• Where the Hell You Came Up With Iron Ore• Oh, There's No End of Whimsy• A Mishmash of Fabrications and Paranoid Fantasies• Diving Headfirst Into the Quicksand• The Most Gay I've Ever Felt in My Entire Life• Your Very Own Personal Zapruder• A Triangle From Your Th

Am I Demisexual? Apr 18, 2025 4245 Also:• Speaking as an Amateur Body Builder With Truly Middling Results• It Doesn't, as Far as I Know, Creep Anyone Out• Five Beats or Three Dry Swallows• Did Somebody Poop During This Session?• Inviting Myself Into That Big Giant Cornucopia• Throw 5-Year-Olds Off a 10-Story Building• Izzy's Glizzy Party• Long Stretches of "Kitty Cat in Extreme Peril"• God Bless Those Baltic Ani

I Bathe All My Kids in Raw Sewage Apr 11, 2025 4037 Also:• A Bromance Between a Robot and a Dog• Of Course It's a Werewolf Thing• Once You've Discovered a Japanese Toilet• Hey Everybody, My Just Dad Died!• That's an Expensive and Dangerous Philosophy• The Fact That I Have Nipples• Leaking Gasoline and Melted Crayons• The Maori Eat Each Other• Sit in a Chair and Watch the Emperor Sleep• You Can't Call Us "Bitch"Recorded

The Vanilla Ice Cream of Psychedelic Mushrooms Apr 4, 2025 4419 Also:• Penis Envy is a Hot Tub Time Machine• My Negative Harumphy Vibes• An Epistemologist Feeling a Little Cantankerous• Was it the Tip or the Shaft?• A Teaspoon's Dollop of the Blue Honey• The Substance Tolerance of a 93-Pound Vietnamese Girl• My 6th Erectile Dysfunction Test This Week• Rapid Onset Ego Death• Surely There are Witch Doctors in London• I Can Barely Stand Ezra KleinRecorded Ma

I Just Need to Fondle a Kiwi Mar 28, 2025 4067 Also:• He Didn't Want to Take the Spigot Out of the Guy's Leg• Do You Do Caffeine Enemas for Fun?• Ingest Adrenaline By Drinking the Blood of Your Enemies• Someone's Always Plotting a Genocide• Hoisted By His Own Petard• I've Been Thinking a Lot About Impaling• A Lead Stake Moving 52,000 Miles an Hour• I Have Eaten Pig Brain, By the Way• Oh, No: You Go Straight to Hell• It Come

Slay the House Down Boots! Mar 21, 2025 4278 Also:• I'm Schnauzing the VapoRub Kleenex• As Australian as it is Gay• Unless They're Actively Bludgeoning People on the Battlefield• Close Enough to Pejorativize• Never Say "Supposedly" When "Ostensibly" Will Do• That's Literally Onanism• Tie My Head to an Anthill and Smear My Ears in Jam• His is a Teeny But Hers is Not• Accused of Banging the Cubs' Pitcher

One Day You Will Make a Woman Very, Very Angry Mar 14, 2025 3771 Also:• Fat Men Play With Their Garden Hoses• Do You Know What the Term "Twink Death" Is?• Downward Volatility Sucks!• I Like a Good Liminal Space• To His Horror He Finds Himself in Hell• James Ray, My Little Minion• Something You Might Pour Over Your Spaghetti• All Mimsy Were the Borogoves• Jive Turkey Ain't Got No Brains Anyhow• Did You See Anybody With a Smudge on Their Forehead?R

It's No Patagonian Toothfish, I'll Tell You That Much Mar 7, 2025 4517 Also:• The Scrawlings of a Madman on the Walls of His Cell• Our Measurement Here is Sheboygan's Yardstick• You are Bruce Banner, and I Keep Poking You• I Don't Always Want to Be the Straight Man to Your Idiocy• Go to the Amazon and Get Stung by a Bullet Ant• Does This Involve Jergens and Kleenex?• Holes in the Fabric of the American Fast Food Patchwork• He Got Some Pep in His Rickety-Old

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Dusty, Snuffy, Sooty, Smoky, Turbid, Dreggy, Slimy, Smutty Feb 21, 2025 3758 Also:• Because I Really Did Hate This Radio Station• Every Mainlander is a Yenta• I Dunno ... Ask My Dead Parents• It Was a Letter Full of Direct Personal Insults• A Tsunami of Insectile Flesh• She Will Make Me Happy, and Bear Me Many Babies• A Friend of Mine Has a Frog Deck• 38% of GenZers are Not Having Sex• Dark, Scowly, Wrinkly Faces• A Bunch of Entries Under the Heading "Uncleanness&quot

French was Meant to Be Heard and Not Seen Feb 14, 2025 4096 Also:• Common Everyday Working Laxatives• Chase Ass Till the Cows Came Home• Moses Floated Down the Nile on Hot Water• I Really Hope My Parents are Having Sex• A Fever-Sweat of Desperate Libido• Once Upon a Time, Before Orange Man• Was Satan Attacking Your Chinese Neighbors Too?• Woo-Woo and Witch-Doctor Kinda Stuff• Caught in the Baptismal at a Church Lock-In• My Old Ass is Very Gen ZRecorded Feb

In the Biological Muck of All Her Children Feb 7, 2025 3997 Also:• I'm on Tenterhooks and Walking on Eggshells• Calling Chinese Cuisine "Lunar Food"• At Risk of Committing 69 Microaggressions• When am I?• Big Company! Eat Little Company! Bad! Bad!• 3 Days in a Hotel Room Ralphing• Dead Pig Parts Sitting Out in the Marketplace• Every Word Would Have to Stink of Heaven• My Guitar's Producer Placebo Toggle• Carrying Around Some Tannah and

Sometimes a Megalodon Will Show Up, and That's Really Bad Jan 31, 2025 3650 Also:• For Weeks They Fed Me Food on a Pole• You'd Make a Really Shitty Unitarian Universalist• Steal Some of Their Coffee Before We Go• The Average Swede Has 1.99 Legs• Like Being a Bull Elephant in the Serengeti• He's Been Jibbering for 6 Days Straight• Incredible Amounts of Subterfuge and Testosterone• Spaff it Into the Floorboards• A Giant Exercise in Rage Machine Clickbait• I Droppe

Lying Naked in the Rain on a Tin Roof in Uganda Jan 24, 2025 3565 Also:• O'Reilly Auto Parts and a Story About Hookers• It Literally Means "Dog Ass"• The Opium Den Had More Drapes Than I Thought• Paul McCartney Didn't Need to Pee• Certified Pre-Owned Virgins• The God-King of the New Chinese-American Interbreeding• I'm Going to Lay Down and Rot Instead• Sucking Sludge for Safety-Kleen• Your Dulcet Tones and Your Excellent Face• Put a Doll

And Boom! You're Horizontal in Wyuka Jan 17, 2025 4427 Also:• Cut That Proverbial Baby in Half• Do People Cross Rainbow Bridges?• Adam Called Me Honky• Chugging Along, Still Cutting Down Trees• We've Found the Chinese Übermensch• A Burnt Out, Drug-Addled Guy Named Reverend Jim• Didn't Require a Shot of Penicillin• Caught in the Boys' Shower With the Home Ec Teacher• You're Not Sticking This Up in People's Faces• A Dildo and a

The Most ESFJ Sentence in the History of the English Language Jan 10, 2025 4088 Also:• Mortgage Manor, The Colonel, and That Damn Cat• I've Eaten Three Chickens in the Last Two Days• Ranking High for "Asian Ass Porn"• Someone in Ashwaubenon is Doing Things Right• An Ancient Black Man in a Snakeskin Suit• Where They Made Their Own Dresses and Raised Goats• The Kvetching Around Reagan• Why Aren't Hitler's Paintings in the Louvre?• OJ is Like a Funny Rel

A Very Valuable Lesson Which I Now Apply to Narcissists Jan 3, 2025 4030 Also:• How Many People are Living in an Iron Lung Right Now?• A Little Rainbow Splotch to the Left of It• Telegraph Sex and Bomb Threats• I Don't Spend a Lot of Time Looking at the Sun• Twins, and They're Both Aboriginal• Our Drummer is a Felon• They Didn't Call Me a Barrel-Chested Monster Baby for Nothing• Barring Some Freak Relational Disaster• The Value of a Single Human Life, in

May We All Meet the Dogs Someday, and Once Again Frolic Among Them Dec 20, 2024 4754 Also:• Learn to Yearn for the Exuberance of Play• Fire and Fury and Burning Babies• The Lifeless Puddle That Was Once Frosty• Stab the CEO With Your Banjo• This Jesus Guy Blows My Mind• Munch More Vigorously on My Popcorn• Scolding and Censorious and Noisome and Irritating• Ticker-Tape Me Through Why That's Funny• An Ass That would Launch 1,000 Ships• There Was No Babbling, Yowling, or Jabber

Industrial-Sized Server Farms of Actual Indian People Dec 13, 2024 3888 Also:• Say "Drew Peacock" Really Fast• A Great Show Until One of Them Died• Get Your AI to Hallucinate• What Might Possibly Constitute a Refrigerator• My Bank is Now an Amazon Fresh• Getting Them to Sweat in Their Own Living Rooms• But She's Got a Full Head of Hair• According to David, That Makes Him a Goon• Your Insulin is Subsidized• We'll Happily Splice in Burger King Commer

We're in Cahoots, the Pie and Me Dec 6, 2024 4120 Also:• Distended Stomachs and Meat Mouths• Can I Shit on One Human Culture in Particular?• Caves That Take Expert Spelunking• A Baby You Threw in a Box and Forgot About• Saturn Has No Influence on Me• An Arms Race Between the Dolphins, the Crows, and the Pigs• Japan Prefers Robot Bears• Blessings I've Had, Being a Nepotist• Astrology is Flat Earth for Fashionable People• All the Ways Your Peg

I Imagine His Luggage Does Indeed Stink of Crustacean Nov 29, 2024 4490 Also:• Up My Nostrils, As Well They Should Be• My Brainless Ear Candy Playlist• A Gajillion Ladies With Their Pekingese Yipe-Yipe-Yipe Dogs• Do The Right Thing: Kill Them First• This is My Roommate, Naked• They Don't Eat Cats Where I Lived• The Penis of the Plains, As They Call It• You Were Gestating at the Time• A Polyamorous Lesbian is Being Scolded by Her Mother• Ken Could Be a Rather Gra

I Only Vote for Candidates Whose Windows I Can Throw Bricks Through Nov 22, 2024 3969 Also:• I Was in a Mosh Pit Recently• He's the God of Dolphins and Underground Plumbing• Strabismus as Usual• The Drummer is Drooling Evenly From Both Sides of His Mouth• Does He Shake Righty or Lefty?• An Unusually Violent G.K. Chesterton Quote• I Can Drive Over to the Guy's House and Punch Him in the Face• You'd be Amazed How Far You Can Get With Pizza• All Our Listeners Can Pillor

There's Something About the Charlie-Brownness of This Whole Story Nov 8, 2024 4192 Also:• And I Looked Into the Chicken's Eyes• What Exactly is Stroking This Little Endorphin Rush of Pleasure?• No State-Sponsored Kid-Diddling Involved• I Have a Love-Hate Relationship With ESTJs• A Dorky Evening Serial Drama That Starred Alec Baldwin• That Absolute Asshole of a Child• Someone Whose Middle Name is Actually "Car"• Covered in This Pink Translucent Gunk• It's Eith

Too Much Funk in the Internet Kombucha Oct 25, 2024 4050 • The Tail is Wagging the Dog, at This Point• A Smarmy Group of Know-It-All Assholes• After a Prolonged Edging Session• Your Caramel-Smooth Voice and Pipes of a Flautist• Funniness is Holiness• How Many Birds are Named After White Men?• Skibidi, Nut, and Gooning• Gen-Alpha Emerged From the Dank Depths Below• Rife With Irony, Irritation, Boredom, and a Sneering Bite• $49 in Stevie Wonder's Ban

Cuyler Just Cannot Stomach the Wholesomeness Oct 18, 2024 3820 Also:• Chatting Up Some Mormon Floozy• Full of Privileged Little Snot-Nosed White Kids• Like a Gutted Walleye• You've Stepped Into the Greatest Dojo on Earth• I Only Have One Torso• Leaving Pieces of Steak on Her Porch• Naked in Front of Polite Company• Charlie Kirk Among Pink-Haired Leftists• Her Mouth in a Big Giant Ice Sling• The Family Has to Travel in a WinnebagoRecorded October 10, 2024

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