Home Podcasts Growth Over Easy: Relationship Skills for Long-Term Love
Growth Over Easy: Relationship Skills for Long-Term Love

Growth Over Easy: Relationship Skills for Long-Term Love

Lilly Rachels 197 Episodes Oct 8, 2026

Growth Over Easy is a relationship podcast for couples and individuals who want lasting, fulfilling love. Hosted by relationship coach Lilly Rachels, it explores the nervous system patterns, attachment styles, and childhood blueprints that influence how we love and conflict. The show offers practical skills for emotional regulation, intimacy, conflict repair, and staying present in difficult moments. Drawing on Relational Life Therapy and somatic work, each episode makes complex relationship concepts accessible and actionable. New episodes are released weekly.

Episodes

Can Resentment Actually Go Away? 3 Questions to Ask First - #191
Can Resentment Actually Go Away? 3 Questions to Ask First - #191 Oct 8, 2026 248 Resentment can slowly build in a relationship until you find yourself feeling disconnected from the person you love. But can it actually go away?In this episode, I’m sharing three questions to ask yourself when resentment starts taking over. If you and your partner are struggling with resentment, [book a free call] with me to explore working together. Get full access to Three Sides at www.growthov
Walking on Eggshells? You Might Be the One Putting Them Down - #190
Walking on Eggshells? You Might Be the One Putting Them Down - #190 Oct 1, 2026 504 Have you ever felt like you were walking on eggshells in your relationship?Sometimes that feeling is a sign that something truly isn’t safe. But sometimes, the eggshells we’re walking on are the ones our own protective patterns keep putting down.In this episode, I’m talking about how the strategies that protected us growing up can follow us into our adult relationships. Shutting down. Withdrawing.
Relationship advice from my bfs mom
Relationship advice from my bfs mom Aug 14, 2026 331 Get full access to Three Sides at www.growthovereasy.com/subscribe
The Labels That Let You Off the Hook - #189
The Labels That Let You Off the Hook - #189 Aug 11, 2026 401 www.lillyrachels.com This week I’m sharing something that came up in a session: a client who kept casting her coworkers as “the parents” and herself as “the kid.”Underneath it was a protective mechanism: if she never took full ownership, she never had to risk being “not good enough.”We traced it back together, and it led somewhere deeper: a lack of self-trust. Not keeping promises to herself. Sayi
Stop Speaking Your Truth. Start Being Honest. - #188
Stop Speaking Your Truth. Start Being Honest. - #188 Jun 16, 2026 573 “Speak your truth” sounds like the most honest thing you can do. But it’s not. Your truth is your perspective. It is what is real within your current awareness. And when you hold it like a fact, like the final word on what happened or who your partner is, there is nowhere left for the conversation to go.I heard a quote about ten years ago that I have never forgotten. Honesty changes with one’s awa
The Time Machine: Why Every Fight Ends Up About the Past - #187
The Time Machine: Why Every Fight Ends Up About the Past - #187 Jun 9, 2026 479 You start arguing about something small. And then somehow, a few minutes in, you’re not talking about tonight anymore. You’re talking about something that happened three years ago.That’s the time machine. And if it keeps happening, it’s not because you’re petty or stuck. It’s because something real happened that never fully repaired.The present keeps disappearing because something in the past neve
The Performance: Why Being the Easy One Starves Your Relationship - #186
The Performance: Why Being the Easy One Starves Your Relationship - #186 Jun 2, 2026 652 Being easy to be with feels like a gift you’re giving your relationship. But if you’re performing ease you don’t actually feel, it’s slowly starving you both.You say you’re fine. Your partner believes you. And somewhere underneath that, a quiet resentment starts to build, not toward anything specific, just toward never really being known.The performance keeps the surface smooth. But your needs don
The Scorecard: Why Keeping Score Quietly Kills Connection - #185
The Scorecard: Why Keeping Score Quietly Kills Connection - #185 May 26, 2026 446 You’re not trying to be difficult. You’re trying to feel seen.But somewhere along the way, the relationship started running on a ledger. Who apologized last. Who initiated last. Who gave more. And no matter what your partner does it never quite feels like enough.That’s the Scorecard. And it’s not a fairness problem. It’s a nervous system pattern built around chronic unmet needs.In this episode:* W
The Takeover: Why You Get Louder When You Need to Be Heard - #184
The Takeover: Why You Get Louder When You Need to Be Heard - #184 May 19, 2026 489 You’re not trying to fight. You’re trying to fix.But somewhere between feeling disconnected and trying to close that gap, something takes over. You get louder, faster, more urgent. You need this resolved right now.That’s the Takeover. And it’s not a character flaw. It’s a nervous system pattern that learned connection is fragile and must be protected immediately.In this episode:* What the Takeover
The Shutdown: Why You Go Blank in the Middle of a Fight - #183
The Shutdown: Why You Go Blank in the Middle of a Fight - #183 May 12, 2026 421 This is the first of five episodes on the relational patterns that quietly kill connection.Book a free consult: https://calendar.app.google/RE8uiXs1oL9LrKZ67Your body doesn’t shut down because you stopped caring. It shuts down because it decided the threat was too big to stay present for.You go quiet. You give one-word answers. Maybe you leave the room entirely. And your partner reads it as indiff
Are You Picking It Up, or Making It Up? - #182
Are You Picking It Up, or Making It Up? - #182 Apr 28, 2026 295 Are You Picking It Up or Making It Up? How Assumptions Are Silently Destroying Your RelationshipYou think you know what your partner meant by that tone. You think you know why they’re quiet. But what if you’re not picking it up, you’re making it up? In this episode, Lilly shares a concept that stops assumption-based communication in its tracks.In this episode, you’ll learn:* The difference between
Say the Real Thing, Not the Right Thing - #181
Say the Real Thing, Not the Right Thing - #181 Apr 21, 2026 468 The Right Thing vs. The Real Thing: Why Agreeing Is Slowly Killing Your RelationshipAre you keeping the peace, or quietly losing yourself? In this episode, Lilly breaks down one of the most common and most overlooked patterns she sees in couples: saying the right thing instead of the real thing. It feels like a solution. It’s actually a slow leak.If you’ve ever found yourself saying “it’s fine, do

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