The Dildorks
The Dildorks is a podcast hosted by sex nerds and best friends Billy Lore and Kate Sloan. Each episode, they dive into candid conversations about sex, dating, and masturbation, sharing personal stories and expert-ish insights. The show blends humor with genuine curiosity, aiming to destigmatize sexual topics and explore the intricacies of human desire. Their friendly, approachable dynamic creates a comfortable space for listeners to learn and laugh about intimacy.
Episodes
Slumber Blunders
Do you like sleeping with people – not having sex, but literally sleeping? This week, we discuss the joys and annoyances of co-sleeping, and how to navigate sleepovers if you’re polyamorous or live with your parents.10 Years! | Insomnia & Noise | Rain Sounds | Morning Conversation | Separate Bedrooms | Temperature | Conflict | “The Done Thing” | Sleep & Sex | Consensual Non-Consent | Scent
Crush & Burn
Why is it so hot sometimes to take things slow? This week, we discuss the joys of sexual and romantic “slow burns”!What is a Slow Burn? | Denial | Pandemic | Sustained Attention | Fun, Painful, or Both? | Non-Monogamy | Letting Things Build | Bad at Flirting – Please Be Blunt | Demonstrating Interest | Making a Move | Long-Term Relationships | Chastity & Cuckolding | Disappointments | “Yes, An
Off the Beatin' Path
This week we’re discussing interesting fetishes from the internet, including extra-large Fleshlights, opening Magic cards naked, a straight couple roleplaying Heated Rivalry, and more!
Sex with Strangers | Fraysexuality | Anticipation & Flirting | “Hotdog in a Hallway” | Loose Fleshlights | Opening Card Packs | Guys Doing “Girl Voices” | Heated Rivalry Roleplay | Prone Masturbation | Breast Ag
Come Together
Does group sex hit different in your thirties? This week, we reflect on our evolving relationships to threesomes, foursomes, orgies, etc.
Party Trick | Popular Fantasy | The Invite (2026) | Why Is It Hot? | Essay on Spectatoring in Teenage Sex & Death at Camp Miasma (2026) | Through Their Eyes | Desirability & Self-Worth | Pleasure Distribution | Who’s In Charge? | Co-Bottoming | A Different Pe
Eroticizing Exhaustion
How do you maintain a vibrant sex life when tired and in pain all the time? This week Billy interviews Kate about her chronic illness, and the ways she’s used kink to manage it and feel better about it.
Fainting & POTS | Caretaking & Bottoming | Kneeling | Adaptive Products | Chronic Pain | Weed | Flexibility & Muscle Strength | Queening Chairs | Risk vs. Reward | Laundry | Energy Budgeting | S
Pro Boner
Why are we so drawn to sexuality as a discussion topic and field of study, and how are people in our industry treated differently than those with more “vanilla” jobs? This week, we examine the intersections of sex and professionalism!
Why Sex? | Self-Discovery & Freedom | Frivolity & Familiarity | Projection | Professionalism | Beacon of Permission | What Do You Want? | Traits | Poker Face | SAR (
Thrilled by the Skilled
What is “competence kink,” and why is someone being good at things such a common turn-on? This week, we discuss our favorite competencies in others and in ourselves, and what makes them so hot.
Is It a Kink? | Confidence | Our Favorite Competencies | Passion | Quickness & Focus | Planning | Our Competencies | Emotional Intelligence | Soft Skills & Bottoming | Bravery of Vulnerability | Transfer
Honey Shot
Is real-life romance anything like a Hollywood romantic comedy? This week we’re discussing portrayals of love and relationships in fiction, and what makes a love story feel real and grounded, versus hollow and schmaltzy.
The Invite (2026) | I Want Your Sex (2026) | Relationship Movies | High Fidelity (2000) | When Harry Met Sally… (1989) | Barriers to Union | Love Triangles | The F Word/What If
Far-Flung Friends
How do you maintain a friendship with someone who lives far away? We’ve done it for over a decade now, so this week we’re sharing our best advice on long-distance friendships!
Romantic vs. Platonic | Where We’ve Met Them | Two Cities | Prepping to Leave | A Reason to Talk | “Thought of You!” | Frequency & Consistency | “Let’s Be Friends!” | Group Hangs | Real-Time Communication | Unfiltered Reac
Honey, I'm Home
“Meeting the parents” can be stressful for everyone involved, so this week we’re giving our best advice on it, including from a queer and polyamorous perspective!
Introducing the BF/Metamour | Grokking Polyamory | “Ohh, That’s Why You’re Like This” | When To Do It | Gender Competency | Jumping the Gun | What to Pre-Seed | Going Bad vs. Going Good | Escape Plan | When to Stand Down | Etiquette |
Secret Sauce
We’re answering more questions about lube this week, including which ones are best for travel, which drugstore lubes are actually decent, whether you should bring your own lube to a sex party, and more!
Dill Pickle Lube | Travel-Friendly Lubes | Uberlube Good to Go | Good Clean Love Almost Naked | Astroglide Silicone | Astroglide Spray ’n Glide | Good Clean Love Hint of Mint | Judging Someone’s
Feet of the Moment
This week, Kate and her wife mb interview Jessie Nelson, inventor of the SoleHole, a new foot fetish toy for couples that Kate recently reviewed. Jessie told us all about how he designed, prototyped and launched this innovative toy!
Mobility Issues | Artistic & Electrical Background | “Aha” Moment | Prototypes | Stretchy Band | Tightness | The Name | Balldo | Claustrophobic Mask | Launch & Recep
Slippery Situation
Lubricant is a basic part of sex for many people, but there are actually a lot of considerations that go into choosing a good one. This week, we discuss our experiences with lube, and give advice on using it!
Our First Lubes | System JO | Bottle Design | Initial Apprehensions | Blossom Organics | Must-Have Accessory | Spit as Lube | Textural Differences | Sliquid Silk | Sliquid Organics Gel | Sl
A Reel Good Time
Hope your Pride month has been lovely so far! We’re celebrating by discussing some of our favorite queer media and what makes it feel authentically queer.
Queer Friends | Sex Representation | Sexual Communication | Talking About Being Queer | Homophobia & Coming Out | The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward | Leviticus (2026) | I Saw the TV Glow (2024) | Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma
Just Plane Kinky
We’ve got some interesting new fetishes from the internet to discuss this week, including jetsetter rimjobs, faux pregnancy, women with apples for heads, and more!
Cunnilingus & Airplanes | Mile High Club | “Dating a Porn Star” | “Happy Boners” & Wedding Planning | Public Pregnancy Play | Roleplaying as Historical Figures | Pussy Degradation | Headless Women
Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by
Pride in Style
Happy Pride month, everybody! This week, we discuss our history with Pride, our current feelings on it, and tips for newbies – and we also recommend some of our favorite gay movies.
Year-Round vs. One Month | Our Pride Feelings | Self-Expression | Body-Positivity | Queer History & Art | BloodSisters (1995) | Word is Out (1977) | Framing Agnes (2022) | P.S. Burn This Letter Please (2020) | Pride
Duelling Dick Discourse
This week, we’re answering listener questions on a variety of topics, from squirting to piercings to fetishes!
TMI | Penile Squirting Study | “Gush” by Kate Sinclaire | Pierced Dicks | AB/DL | Regression & Play | Blog Post on Diaper Play | Duelling Penises | Public Sex Locations | Fetish, or Me? | Ace-Spectrum Fetishists
Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to suppo
Good Doggy
Pet play is a popular kink that has spawned many interesting subcultures, so this week we’re talking about our own experiences roleplaying as cats, dogs, and more.
Kittens & Bunnies | Headspace | No Need to Speak | Primal Play | Physical Limitations | Dignified vs. Gross/Wild | Animal Archetypes | Power & Autonomy | Pigs | Horses | Jungle Cats | Turtles | Fantasy Creatures | Whiskers (1997) | U
Makeup, Sex
Makeup is an important part of many people’s self-expression, both in and out of the bedroom – so this week, we discuss how cosmetics intersect with kink, gender, queerness, and more!
Eyeliner | “Wanna Do Our Makeup Together?” | Origin Story | Self-Care Ritual | Artistic Expression | “I Like You Better Without Makeup” | Male Gaze | For You vs. For Others | Deciding on a Look | Queers vs. Straigh
New Kinks on the Block
Learning about your sexuality is a lifelong journey, so this week we discussed the process of acquiring/discovering kinks that are new to you and exploring them for the first time.
Discovering vs. Creating | Recurring Themes | Taboo & Novelty | Expectation vs. Reality | Craving Newness | Resistance to Change | Why Is It Hot? | 101 Kinky Things Even You Can Do | Starting Solo | Beginner-Friendly
Blowing Smoke
Happy belated 4/20! We’re celebrating as we always do: by getting high and answering listener-submitted hypothetical questions about sex, dating, and masturbating.
The Last Prisoner Project | Time Travel | Tim Travers and the Time Traveler’s Paradox (2024) | Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (2025) | About Time (2013) | Groundhog Day (1993) | Palm Springs (2020) | Time Travel Sex Ethics | Me
Metamour the Merrier
This week we’re discussing metamours, i.e. our partners’ partners – partly because Kate’s recently been on some dates with one of hers!
Defining ‘Metamour’ | Kitchen Table vs. Garden Party | Comparison | Disclosure | Privacy vs. Secrecy | Growth & Risk | Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell | What to Share | Advice from Partners | Metamour-Like Relationships | Different Facets of Oneself | Meeting a Metamour
When Your Shrink is Kinky
This week, Billy interviews Calvin Hauer, a sex-positive therapist based in Minneapolis, about being out as queer/kinky and how that can affect the therapy process for both clients and practitioners.
Ethics of Self-Disclosure | In Community with Clients | Being Out as Kinky | Erotic Transference & Counter-Transference | Unequal By Design | Kink-Aware vs. Kink-Experienced | The Leather Couch | K
Hysterically Wrong
We’re busting more sex toy myths this week, including the infamous medical origin story of the vibrator, orgasm guarantees, and a dearth of toys for dicks!
Vibrator Invention Myth | Hysteria (2011) | The Technology of Orgasm by Rachel Maines | Buzz by Hallie Lieberman | No Toys for Dicks? | Only for Single People | Orgasm Guarantees | Different Toys | “Anything’s a Dildo If You’re Brave Enough”
The Vibes Are Off
There are countless myths and misconceptions about sex toys, and this week we try to set the record straight on a few of them!
Vibrator Numbness | Vibe as Scapegoat | Rendered Obsolete | Shere Hite Book | The Hite Report | Bigger = Better? | Vibrations on the Nose | Stretched Out | Toy Cleaner
Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access t
The Big Bang
Is large penetration a goal worth aspiring to? This week we discuss our evolving feelings on fisting and other forms of XXL penetration!
Current Feelings | Can Anyone Be Fisted? | Journey vs. Destination | Fist vs. Fingers | Njoy Eleven | Vixen Gambler | Hand Weakness/Pain | Emotional Effects | Guts Rearranged | Penis Size | Unicorn Collaborators Hand Harness | Fist-Shaped Dildos | Vixen Randy
You're In Good Hands
There are always interesting new fetishes to discover! This week we’re discussing some unusual kinks we’ve heard about lately, from latex-sheathed blowjobs to cringe masturbation to being “friendzoned.”
“Chasing” Someone Unavailable | Hands | Condom’ed Blowjobs | Skyn Condoms | Flavored Lubes by Sliquid, Wicked, & LubeLife | Being Friendzoned | Cajoling a Boyfriend Into Sex | Denial Kink | Crin
Words of Jizzdom
Giving advice can get tricky when you’re polyamorous (or just prone to messy romantic drama), so this week we’re offering more advice on giving advice!
No Sex on a Date | Will Not Advise | Criticism vs. Praise | Parenting Advice | Authority & Influence | Advising a Partner | Too Much Bias | Mad at a Metamour | People Who Don’t Take Advice | Sex & Kink Coaching
Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by
Penny For Your Thoughts?
We love giving advice, so this week we’re advising you on advising – how and when to give helpful advice, the best ways to ask for it, and the common mistakes we’ve made in these areas.
Different Dataset | Context | Solicited | Vulnerability | Commands | Asking Questions | Mental State | Pointing Out Patterns | Asking for Advice | Phrasing the Ask | Emotional Validation | Empathy or Strategy? |
How F*cking Romantic!
Happy (belated) Valentine’s Day! This week we celebrated by answering listener questions about love and romance. Crying on V-Day | Romance vs. Friendship | Curiosity & Merging | Codependency | “One True Love” | Dean Spade Essay | “Be Mine” | Polyamorous Valentine’s | Social Media | “The One That Got Away”
Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get
Making an Impact
We used to talk about spanking all the time, but is it still one of our favorite kinks? This week we discuss our current feelings on impact play! Jump-Scared by Bruises | Spanking vs. Beating | Jillian Keenan Videos | Bastinado | Random Punching | Topping | Evolving Relationship | The Artist & the Pervert | Non-Consensual Spanking | Not a Punishment | Thuddy vs. Stingy | Chronic Pain | Implements
Flirt Alert!
This week, we chat with dating coach/columnist (and former pickup artist) Harris O’Malley, a.k.a. Doctor NerdLove, whose work we’ve admired for a long time! He gave us some advice on flirting, dating, conversational skills, and more. Pickup Artistry | Dark Night of the Soul | Fear of Rejection | What Even Is Flirting? | Bad at Flirting – Please Be Blunt | Neurodivergent Nerds | Rules vs. Vibes | D
Yearn, Baby, Yearn
Romantic yearning can be deeply painful, but it’s also kinda hot and fun. This week we discuss our experiences with this unique emotion in contexts like long-distance relationships and unrequited love. Is It Good? | General vs. Specific | Desire | Defining ‘Yearning’ | Emotional Sadomasochism | Long-Distance | Enjoying It | Creative Outlet | Incels | Heated Rivalry | Gendered Tropes | Men’s Emotio
New Queers' Resolutions
This week, we discuss our favorite sexual fantasies of 2025, the sex & dating goals we set for ourselves last year, and our new goals for 2026. Fantasies | Sex Robots | Work Sex | Forced to Be Bored | Safer Sex | Anonymous Sex | Femdom & Dorky Virgins | Toronto vs. New York | Double Penetration | Sex Nerd Workspace | Sex For Fun | Communicating Better | Socializing | Sex Therapy School | Queer Med
Take It From the Top
Happy new year! This week we’re reflecting on the biggest changes in our sex & dating lives in 2025, the sex toys we loved most, and the weirdest sex we had all year. Rest & Movies | Overall Changes | Hookups | Libido Troubles | Horny 4 Intimacy | Living Together | Low-Dose Naltrexone | Emotional Energy | Monogamous Crushes | New Things | BJ Buddy | Random Act of Muff Dive | Belly Stuff | Fingered
Gag Gift
Happy holidays to those celebrating! We’re discussing objectification kink again this week, through a seasonal lens. Holiday Stress | Giving People as Gifts | Sex Coupons & Cards | Re-Focusing | Manhandling | Bored & Ignored | Sexualizing vs. Objectifying | Previous Holiday Episodes (1, 2, 3)
Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to ou
An Object Lesson
What does it mean to be ‘objectified’ in a kink scene, and how is that different from the other, less-hot ways one can be objectified? This week we’re discussing the nuances of this complex kink. Nonconsensual Objectification | Marginalization & Trust | Just a Hole | Empathy | What’s Hot About It? | Quiet Mind | Authentic Desire | The New Topping Book | Favorite Object | Praise | Environment & Vib
Working Out the Kinks
This week we dive deeper into kinky-on-vanilla relationships, discussing how to tell if someone might be vanilla, how to explore kink outside of a newly-opened relationship, and whether fantasy and porn can be good substitutes for IRL kink. Language & CBT | How to Spot Vanillas | Kinky Flirting | In Love With a Vanilla Person | Opening the Relationship | Polyamorous Kinksters | Fantasy & Porn | Ba
Vivaciously Vanilla
Can a kinkster be truly satisfied dating a vanilla person, and vice-versa? This week we discuss bridging the gap between kinky and vanilla partners! Dating Apps | Time & Place | Kinky Linguistic Cues | Defining “Vanilla” | Sexual Hobbyism | Our Experiences with Vanilla People | Willing vs. Want | Explaining Why | Rejecting Vanillas | Don’t Settle | Beginner-Friendly Resources | 101 Kinky Things Ev
Bewitched, Bruised, & Bewildered
Can it be romantic to get spanked, stepped on, and bossed around? Absolutely! This week, Billy interviews Kate about how her submissiveness is deeply entangled with her romantic desires. Depth & Vulnerability | Are They Linked? | Intrinsic Desire & Earnest Belief | Submissive Romantic Desire | You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For | Being Seen | Masochism | Kinksters’ Communication | Self-Assure
Sexy Eccentrics
This week we’ve got a whole new batch of interesting fetishes from Reddit to discuss, from trees to heavy metal music to illusionists. Making Them Work For It | Dendrophilia (Tree Sex) | Ecosexuality | Salon Capes | Sawed in Half | Organs | Elmer’s Glue | Paramedics | Heavy Metal | Moshing | Pool Table Cunnilingus | 101 Kinky Things Audiobook
Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecom
Full of Yourself
What is self-confidence and why does it matter? This week, we’re unpacking what it means to feel confident, why it’s hot, and how to cultivate it. Fake It Til You Make It | Contextual Confidence | Being Bad At Things | Perception vs. Feeling | Self-Deprecation | Self-Knowledge | Boundaries | What It Feels Like | Certainty | Competence | You Are Someone’s Favorite Flavor | Values | Why It's Hot | E
Straight to the Point
This week we continue our discussion of heterosexual culture, discussing straight wedding traditions, gender reveal parties, the kinkification of straight gender roles, and more. Clear Communication | Power Imbalance | Come Together | Different Playbooks | Wedding Traditions | Happily Ever After | Gender Reveal Parties | Celebration | Kinkifying Straight Roles | Formative Fears | Unnegotiated Kink
Set the Record Straight
To celebrate Halloween, this week we’re discussing some of the scarier aspects of heterosexual culture! Dating Straight People | Not Gay | The Tragedy of Heterosexuality | Does Straightness Exist? | Cultural Differences | Default Script | Anti-Pleasure Pressures | How to Do Nothing | Mono-Normativity | Media Models | Combativeness | “Hall Passes” | Opposite-Sex Friendships | Love, Inc. | Gendered
We Good?
Regularly-scheduled “check-in” conversations are one way to keep a relationship strong – so this week, we discuss our favorite ways of checking in, and how we manage anxiety that may come up around it. As-Needed vs. Regularly Scheduled | Solutions vs. Breakups | “Ruining the Vibe” | Us vs. the Problem (The Monster Under the Bed) | Managing Anxiety & Avoidance | Check-In Card Deck | Positive Reinfo
Gender & the City
This week, Kate and mb interview the brilliant Tuck Woodstock, host of the Gender Reveal podcast and co-editor of the hilarious new anthology Sex Change and the City! We couldn’t help but wonder: Does Sex and the City ‘hold up’ for modern viewers, especially queer and trans ones? Which Character Are You? | Which Character Is Trans? | Why SatC? | 2 Trans 2 Furious | Watching SatC Now | Queer & Tran
Sweet Sweet Service
How has our relationship to service kink changed as we’ve gotten older, done more therapy, and moved in with our partners? This week we discuss our currently thoughts and feelings on service. Identity? | Feeling Useful & Impressive | Work & Resentment | Tradwives vs. Kinksters | Living Together | Cocktail Genders | Majordomo Duties | Praise & Acknowledgment | Dream Scenes
Credits:Music by PROTODOM
Ass Is In Session
People believe all kinds of nonsense about anal play, so this week we’re busting myths about butt stuff.Makes You Gay | Homophobe Ick | (Un)Natural? | Masculinity | “Sides” | Pain & Numbing | Sphincters | Permanent Damage | Pregnancy | Loophole | Good Feminist | Tops Should Bottom | Always Up For It | Shit Happens
Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the sho
Get the Word Out
Are some sexual labels more cringe than others? Do our public labels differ from our private ones? And what’s up with people who don’t think we should use labels at all? This week, we’re continuing to dive deep on sex & gender identity labels. Tired & Old | “I Don’t Like Labels” | “Cringe” Identities | Gynosexual | Bicurious | Sapiosexual | Public vs. Private Identities | Letting Go of Labels | La
What It Says On the Tin
When it comes to sex and gender, labels can be helpful and affirming, but they can also be limiting and divisive. This week, we discuss our own labels, and what we think they achieve for us. The Purpose(s) of Labels | Identity Affirmation | Internal vs. External Benefits | Bisexual | Queer | Pansexual | Sexuality vs. Gender | Queer Femme | Trans F*g | Reclaiming Slurs | Outsider | Coming Out Many
Ace of Hearts
Asexuality is a highly misunderstood identity, so this week we’re discussing what it means to be ace – and why Kate is newly identifying that way!What is Asexuality? | Access to Information | Neurodivergence | Why Use the Label? | (Not) Being Into Bodies | Coming Out to Allo People | Aromanticism | Hard Feelings | Are Ace People Queer? | Choice vs. “Born This Way” | Ace by Angela Chen
Credits:Musi
Carpe DM
This week, we give more advice on play parties, including how to become a DM, how to approach a stranger for play, and how to take care of yourself emotionally during an event. Flirting & Professionalism | Becoming a DM | When to Get a DM | Rookie Mistakes | Taking Notes | How to Approach People | Mood Management | Approaching Tops | Handling Overwhelm
Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison
Bedding Crashers
Party time! This week, we discuss etiquette and preparation for attending a play party, whether it’s sex-focused, kink-focused, or both. Sex as a Hobby | Beginners | Verbal vs. Non-Verbal Communication | Spontaneity | Vulnerability | Compartmentalization | Expectations vs. Reality | Preparing | Setting Intentions | Spectating | What to Wear | Sex vs. Kink | Archetypes
Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArt
Explosively Erotic
We always love learning about interesting fetishes, and this week we’ve got a bunch of juicy ones to discuss, from bomb-shaped women to pig-shaped men. Explodey Babes | Bi Confusion | Pig Transformation | Sperm Bank Muff Dive | Tongue Fetish | Ties & Ties | Theme Nights | Quitting Smoking
Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our pr
Keep It Rolling
Watching movies and TV shows with a partner can be surprisingly bonding and eye-opening! This week we discuss the ways our relationships have benefited from enjoying media with partners. Talking During Movies | Inside Jokes | Disconnection vs. Intimacy | Conversation-Starters | Complexity & Nuance | Choosing Movies | The Birdcage | Content Notes vs. No Spoilers | Art vs. Escapism | The Room | Same
Was It Good For Me?
This week we dig deeper into the subject of sexual selfishness, answering questions like: Can it be selfish to give pleasure? How can you satisfy a stone person? And is there really a top shortage? Casual vs. Long-Term | Getting Tired & ‘Hard Mode’ | Owning Your Desires | Communication & Compliments | Willing vs. Into | Stone Reciprocity | Xan West on Stone Identity | Allow vs. Tolerate/Endure | S
Sweetly Greedy
What does it mean to be selfish in bed, and is it always necessarily a bad thing? This week we discuss our relationships to “selfishness” and receiving pleasure. Bottoming vs. Being Selfish | Negative Connotations | Straights vs. Queers | Wide Range of Pleasures | “You Do Me, Then I Do You” | Switching | /r/RandomActsOfMuffDive | Bottoming Skills | Guilt & Shame | Pleasure Doms | Gendered Tropes |
Meet in the Middle
Talking about sex is hard, which is why so many sex educators try to “meet people where they’re at,” a concept we unpack this week to help you have better conversations about sex. Zero Tolerance vs. Harm Reduction | Don’t Be Elitist! | Avoiding Shame Triggers | Self-Disclosure | Jokey Approach | Questions & Assumptions | Assessing Knowledge Level | Self-Criticism
Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork
Lip Service
This week, we celebrated International Kissing Day by answering listener questions about kissing! “We Should Make Out” | Hormone Changes | Kissing Men | Consent-Asks | Feeling Overwhelmed | Toys & Practice | Sexual Stimulation
Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned
Home Sweet Homo
This week, while Kate’s moving from Toronto to New York, Billy chats with his partner Dee Darkholme about THEIR recent move, and what it’s been like adjusting to living together with Dee’s other partner. Living with 2 Partners | Opposite vs. Similar | Communication & Criticism | Sex Issues | Having People Over | Decoration Decisions | Complementary Strengths | Alone Time | Nice Things
Credits:Musi
Emotional Blue Balls
How do you get over a friend who doesn’t like you back? This week, we wade deeper into the topic of unrequited feelings within a friendship. Crush Eras | “The Friendzone” | Straight vs. Queer Scripts | Gendered Narratives | Processing Unrequited Feelings | Re-Channelling Obsessions | Grieving
Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to ou
Probably Platonic?
What happens when you catch feelings for your friend? This week, we discuss the tricky art of keeping a friendship afloat while attraction rocks the boat. When Feelings Dissipate | Developing Feelings | When to Say Something | Changing the Label | Flirting vs. Being Direct | Flirting is Hot | Soft No vs. Hard No | When to Let It Go | Gender Imbalances | Should You Tell Them?
Credits:Music by PROTO
Copulationships
Friendships with benefits are an important part of our sexual landscape, so this week we discuss how to navigate casual ongoing sexual partnerships with kindness and grace. FWBs vs. Fuckbuddies | Demisexuality | Romantic Attraction | Safety & Trust | Familiarity & Practice | Sex is Fun | Intimacy & Connection | Finding a FWB | Asking a Friend | Labeling | “What Are You Looking For?” | “We Should M
Pleasure for the Better
Sexual pleasure can be wonderful self-care, even during some low-libido times. This week we discuss our favorite methods of sexual self-care. Happy Pride Month! | Not Jerking Off | Perfunctory Masturbation | Reducing Friction | Opportunities to Feel Sexy | Sexual Health | Setting & Enforcing Boundaries | Self-Knowledge | Focusing on Pleasure | Curiosity & Creativity | “Just Do It”?
Credits:Music b
Take the 'E' Train
This week Kate chats with her wife mb about how HRT (hormone replacement therapy) can affect transfeminine people’s skin sensitivity, orgasm intensity, desire levels, and more!Your Mileage May Vary | Softer Skin | Girl Smell | Erectile Changes | Responsive vs. Spontaneous Desire | Maintaining Erectile Function | Context & a “Why” | Hormonal Cycle | Sensitivity | /r/GrowYourClit | Orgasms | Cum | D
Do It Yourself
Happy Masturbation Month to those who celebrate! This week we’re answering listener questions on jerkin’ it.Want to Want It | Solo Pain Play | Masochism vs. Self-Harm | Fantasies Making a Comeback | Achievable Fantasies | Pets in the Room
Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your nam
Let's All U-Haul
Living with your polycule: bad idea, or best idea? This week we discuss the emotional and practical realities of Billy’s recent decision to move in with his partner and metamour! Kitchen Table Polyamory | Combining Households | Chore Distribution | Building New Routines | Bedroom Privacy | Gross Little Gremlin | Largest Room | Fears | Chosen Family | Poly Stigma | Complementary Skillsets
Credits:M
Leather Whenever
This week, Kate chats with friend of the show Addison Finch about the ritual and reverence of bootblacking, and what we can learn about our current political moment from studying the history of kink. CLAGS Lecture Series | Leather History | Can Straight People Be “Leather”? | Kink Awakening | History & Context | Kink Reading Group | Activism & Organizing | Bootblacking & Leather Care | Boot Worshi
Blaze of Gloryhole
As is tradition, this week we celebrate 4/20 by getting intoxicated and answering silly hypothetical questions about sex. Last Prisoner Project | Movie Quotes | Cooking Implements | Tantus Plunge | BJ Dildo | Condiments | Exes & Past Selves | Gifting Kinks | Inanimate Objects | Fireworks
Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our pri
Who, What, Where, & When?
Whether you prefer to plan dates or have them planned for you, a date’s location or activity can play a big role in how well it goes – so this week we discuss how to successfully plan early dates with a new person. Whose Responsibility? | Providing Input | Dietary Restrictions | Go-To Locations | Civil Liberties | Pour Boy | Activity vs. Conversation | Movies & Museums | Too Loud | Poor Planning &
Put Your Best Tit Forward
Lots of people like to incorporate multimedia into their sexting, so this week we discuss the benefits of sending voice memos and provocative pictures, among other things. Eggplant Emoji | Shy Texters | Digital & Emotional Context | Parenting | Voice Notes | Phone Sex | Lewds & Nudes | Photography Tips
Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get ac
Textual Healing
This week we discuss some of our favorite things about sexting – like how it can build rapport, establish compatibility, and even increase your empathy. Filling Time at Work | Why We Love Sexting | During Daily Life | Intent & Desire | Good Sexts = Good Sex? | What Makes It Good/Bad? | Talk About the Clit | “Yes, And”-ing | Word Preferences | Attunement | Suddenly Vanishing | “Don’t Know What to S
Ask Me (Almost) Anything
This week, we answer more questions about asking questions – including questions that can help you suss out somebody’s politics or kinks, negotiate safer sex protocols, and (maybe) call the whole thing off. Personal Questions | Touchy Subjects | Political Alignment | STI Testing | Disclosing Kinkiness | Assessing Chemistry
Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to suppor
And How About You?
Diving deeper into our recent discussion on how curiosity is sexy, this week we discuss the practice of asking questions on dates: why it matters, why it’s hot, and what kinds of questions we like to ask and be asked. Why Ask Questions? | Demonstrating Interest | Assessing Compatibility | Conversational Labor | Building Connection | Carrying the Conversation | Different Conversational Styles | Eas
Dating While Taken
Polyamorous dating can be pretty different depending on whether you’re single versus in a long-term relationship already; this week we discuss our experiences of both kinds. Primary vs. Anchor | Hierarchy | Scarcity vs. Abundance | Avoiding Codependency | Growth & Change | New Relationship Energy | Monogamous-Minded People | Dating Newbies | Bringing It Up | New People | Couples’ Privilege | Secur
Fetishes Are Fabulous
This week we’re discussing some interesting and unusual fetishes we’ve stumbled across recently, from glossy magazines to nail-biting to haircutting. Glossy Magazines | Eggs | Job Ethics | Squidly Co. (Discount Code DILDORKS20) | Non-Consensual Haircutting | Forced Masculinization | Nail-Biting | Context-Dependent Desires
Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support
Tell Me More
This week we discuss two crucial qualities that can make you exponentially better in bed (and out of bed, too): curiosity and creativity.Sexual Skills | Communication | Curiosity | Accepting Feedback | Limitations | Compassion & Empathy | Conflicts & Problem-Solving | Solo Curiosity | Curiosity is Attractive | Asking Questions & Listening | Long-Term Relationships | Brainstorming & Decision-Making
Pleasure Under Pressure
Pursuing pleasure isn’t always as easy as it may seem, so this week we’re discussing some common hurdles to pleasure and how to overcome them, among other things. What is Pleasurable? | Resistance to Sensation | Underprepared for Pleasure | Hurdles | Daydreaming | Romanticizing Your Life | Posting About Pleasure | Nervous System Regulation | Mental Preparation | “How Can I Make This Fun?” | Workar
Please Please Me
When times get tough, pleasure becomes more important than ever. This week, we discuss our favorite ways of accessing pleasure, and the role it plays in our lives, both in and out of the bedroom. Pleasure Activism | “A Rising Tide Lifts All Boats” | Taking the Leap | Beacon of Pleasure Permission | Our Favorite Pleasures | Cocktails & Rituals | Cleaning & Organizing | Learning & Improving | Savori
Flip the Script
This week we’re continuing to discuss some of our favorite films about the LGBTQ+ experience – plus a few about non-monogamy and sex work, for good measure! 750GB of Trans Content | Obsession & Bigotry | Sylvia Scarlett | Call Me Kate | Katharine Hepburn | Angels in America | Spirituality for Queers | Fellow Travelers | The Apprentice | Lavender Marriage | Some Like It Hot | Tootsie | She’s the Ma
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